The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Coronavirus Updates - CDC Vaccination Priorities, SantaCon Gets Canceled & Belgium's Bathroom Rule

Episode Date: December 6, 2020

The CDC prioritizes recipients of COVID-19 vaccines, the SantaCon pub crawl is canceled due to pandemic concerns, and Belgium regulates bathroom use at parties. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at, that's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News,

listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. We are now about one month away from the first dose of the coronavirus vaccine. I know, crazy right? It feels like it was just yesterday when we were punching grannies for toilet paper. But it'll still be at least six months before there's enough vaccine for everybody. Which means the fight is now on to elbow your way to the front of the line. Today a CDC advisory panel is meeting to vote on recommendations about who will get the vaccines first once they're approved by the FDA.

With only enough medicine for about 20 million people expected by the end of this year, authorities are having to prioritize. Already health officials have said that seniors with underlying health conditions and doctors who treat COVID patients should be put at the front of the line. Will ultimately be up to state and local officials to choose where the doses go first. This is going to be the big drama of 2021. Who is going to get priority for the vaccine? Because look, everyone agrees that the first groups who should get this vaccine should be the frontline health care workers, right?

Then should be people named Trevor. Then seniors, very important to protect our seniors. Then people named Trevor again, I mean, in case the first time didn't take. And then we protect those who have pre-exit. Like, you know the people. We just got to get the order right. And I know they're going to prioritize people based on risk and health. But if you ask me, America has already figured out the best way to decide how to distribute rewards. And that's right, I'm talking about vaccine ninja warrior.

Oh yeah, who wants to survive? Dr. Fauci and other experts are warning that the United States is about to enter a wave within a wave, as the already skyrocketing number of cases gets a post-Thanksgiving surge. It's the only Thanksgiving leftover you don't look forward to, well, after Brussels Sprouts. And let's be honest, guys, another surge is exactly what America doesn't need right now. Cases and hospitalizations are already breaking new records, and I know nobody wants to give up Christmas. But guys, maybe there are some traditions that we can do without.

You will not see a lot of red noses in the city this year. That's because Santa Con, that pub crawl has been canceled. The flash mob meets. Pub crawl event raises money for charity, but they've been criticized because of some participants booze-fueled antics. An announcement of the Santa Con website says, quote, remain home and stay on the good list. We're all in this together. What, Santa Con is canceled?

No! Now, how will children ever get to see Santa Claus pass that on the sidewalk without pants? Those poor kids are losing out on a tradition. Can I be honest? I never thought Santa Con would get cancelled before Santa. Yeah, because I thought for sure that Santa would have been canceled by now. I mean, let's face that the dude is problematic as hell.

He sneaks into everyone's homes. He goes to malls to have kids to have ths ths th o th th o th th the th th thoes the th the thoes the thoes thoes their thoes thoes th that the dude is problematic as hell. He sneaks into everyone's homes, he goes to malls to have kids sit on his lap and he's kissed all of our moms? Yo, how is this dude still around? But if you ask me they don't need to cancel Santa Con. Just make it virtual like everything else this year, you know? Do the whole thing over zoom and then the whole throwing up on your keyboard, their, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, throw, throw, their, their, their, their, th their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, their, their, their, their, their, thin, their, thin, thin, th th th th thooooooooooooo. the. th th thoooooooooooo. th th th th th th throwing up on the sidewalk, you throw up on your keyboard. It's not perfect, but it's the next best thing. Now, some people are happy that Santa Con is canceled because they say that those santas just get drunk and act obnoxious in the streets. But I don't know about that, guys. I mean, every year I get drunk, and I dress up as Santa,

and I don't that ass. Ho, ho, oh, that's right, give it to me, James. Ah! The world hit a major milestone as Great Britain became the first country to officially approve a fully tested vaccine. So big congratulations, Britain. It's amazing how much you can get done when you don't waste time combing your hair. And you know this is really really great news for the world, unless Britain decides to use this opportunity

to get revenge. So it turns out we've gotten the vaccine and we'll be handing it out to all of our colonies. All of, oh oh that's right. You didn't want to be colonies anymore. Oh look at that I guess. the the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. that's. th. th. that's th. that's that's thi. that's tho. to to to toe. thiole. to to to to be like. to be to to be toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toy. toy. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. te. te. te. didn't want to be colonies anymore. Oh, look at that, I guess more vaccine for me. Oh, oh, oh, how you like that now, India? So, safety and precaution is fantastic, but there is one country who might be taking their precautions a little too far. Belgium is putting a four-person limit on holiday parties during the coronavirus pandemic. Officials say all gatherings must be held outdoors in a yard or garden, and only one guest will be allowed to enter the house to use the bathroom during the entire party. If you really have to go to the toilet, there will be nothing else to do but return home, said a government spokesperson.

Whoa, whoa, hold on. Only one person at the party is allowed to use the bathroom? That is a terrible idea! For starters, how do they decide who gets to be the designated bathroom user? Huh? Does the host tell you in advance? Do they regulate your nog intake or do they just decide based on what you ate? And you know, the worst part about not being able to use the bathroom is? You lose your excuse? to be a the bathroom? to the bathroom. that's. th. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. their. their. th. th. to their their their to to to their to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. thoes. theask. theateatroes. tho tho tho tho tho-susususususususususususususus. their their to be honest. Okay, well, thank you, thank you, yeah, I've gotta go. No, I don't have to use the bathroom. I just don't wanna talk about your kids anymore. Yeah, I hate them right now. I don't even know them.

Of course, it's at least possible to practice a teatie at a garden. So when authorities in Belgium discovered that people were throwing an orgy in violation of the lockdown, police were sent to break it up. But that's when the real scandal began. A Hungarian member of the European Parliament has resigned after breaking lockdown rules by attending what's been described as a gay sex party in Brussels. Josef Shaya, who has previously backed anti-LGBT legislation in Hungary, admitted attending the party which was broken up by police. The prosecution in Brussels have simply said that they were there raiding a party which

appeared to be breaking coronavirus lockdown restrictions. There are also reports in the Bulgarian media that he tried to run away from the party by climbing down a drain pipe and that he was then caught by the police in the street. Damn! I can't believe a homophobic politician was caught at a gay sex party going down a drain pipe and then he tried to escape. Hi-fi!

And by the way, being at an illegal sex party when the police storm in must be so awkward because you don't even realize it's a real the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police the police police police police police the police the police police police the police police the police the police police police the police. the police police police the police police the police the police police the police the police police the police the police police the police the police the police the police the police. party when the police storm in must be so awkward because you don't even realize it's a real police raid until it's too late. Think about it. You probably just assume that somebody ordered stripper cops. Oh yes officer. I have been a really naughty boy. Wow, real handcuffs. You'll take this seriously. But yes my friends, once again, another anti-gay politician has been caught in a gay sex scandal. Which, by the way, there's nothing scandalous about gay sex. The scandal is that they said

where anti-gay, gay is bad and turns out they were doing it. And honestly, part of me feels bad for these politicians, because clearly they've lived in a society that has made them so so the thiiiiiii. And thi. And thi. And thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their thi, their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thii, ified of who they are and they hate themselves and the people that they go to these extreme lengths when they don't need to. Half the time it's not about family values. They just don't want somebody dating the ex. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. The coronavirus pandemic. It's the only thing in the news and it's the reason you know what all your co-workers' bedrooms look like without creating a problem for HR. Right now, things are not looking good all over the world, and especially not in the United States. In fact, Robert Redfield, the director of the CDC and man whose face got put on upside down by God, said yesterday that the next few months could be the most difficult in the

public health history of this nation. Even worse than the six-month stretch when you couldn't go anywhere without hearing baby shock. We thought that was the pandemic. The good news is though that a vaccine is around the corner. But you still need to get enough people to get the vaccine so that people are immune. And let's face it, in a country where millions of people refuse to even wear a mask, there's a good chance that many of them will resist getting an injection, which is sort of like a mask that hurts. So that's why some high-profile people from across the political spectrum are forming a supergroup to promote the vaccine. In a show of presidential leadership in this health crisis, three former presidents are

ready to roll up their sleeves to bolster public confidence in the new coronavirus vaccines. Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton all volunteering to get their shots on camera once the FDA authorizes a vaccine. Clinton and Obama got on board after President Bush apparently, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the vaccine to the vaccine to to the vaccine to the vaccine to the vaccine the vaccine to the vaccine the vaccine to to the vaccine to promote to puce the vaccine the vaccine to promote to promote to promote to promote to promote to promote to promote to promote to promote the vaccine the vaccine to proe. the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine the vaccine. the vaccine. to the vaccine. the vaccine. to the vaccine. to the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. to the vaccine. toe. the vaccine. the the the the the the the the the the the toe. thoo. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. the. the. the the the. the the the the their shots on camera once the FAA authorizes a vaccine. Clinton and Obama got on board after President Bush apparently reached out to Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx to see how he could help promote the vaccine. Now that is some presidential leadership, offering to get the vaccine on live TV before everybody else to boost public confidence. Also, it's a great way to sneak ahead to the front of the line.

I see you, Barry. Yeah, I see you. You and Bill and George, snatching those first shots. Ha ha! No hate, fellas, game-recognized game. And you know the game's not going to stop there. Because I bet there's going to be one smart secret service agent who's going to be like, did somebody say shot? I'll protect you. He's going to jump in front of the needle and be like, ah, I got vaccinated for you. Now, you might be wondering, why hasn't President Trump also offered to take the vaccine with these other presidents? Well, by the time the vaccines are available, he'll also be a former president, but don don't forget, he beat Corona already, so he's immune. Also, he can't go before the other presidents because he'll take all the lollipops.

I'm actually glad that Trump isn't part of this event, because you know that he would find a way to make things awkward. I'm not getting the vaccine in front of the camera. I don't want anybody seeing my butt. Sir, they do the shot in your th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. front of the camera. I don't want anybody seeing my butt. Sir, they do the shot in your arm. Too late, I already dropped my pants. Not to mention, watching them get the vaccine on TV doesn't really help. What we really need to do is watch them 24-7 for a few weeks after the vaccine, so that we can see that it's safe. So they all need to live together in a house where we can can can can their we can their we can can can can can can their their their their their their thoe, their thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, their, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. toge, toge, toge, toge, the. toge, tho. tho. the. thi. their, You know, so they all need to live together in a house where we can see them eat and sleep and hang out and, ooh, maybe they could do challenges

and vote each other off. We don't even need a vaccine. Let's just make this show. Of course, until there is a vaccine, it'll be more important than ever to continue following. The bad news is that these politicians haven't all been practicing what they preach. A number of Democratic leaders apologizing or reversing course after multiple occurrences of Do As I Say, Not As I Do.

They have been caught not following their own coronavirus guidelines. In San Francisco, Mayor London Breed, facing backlash after it was revealed that she attended a birthday party last month at the French laundry, the famed, the f-tied, the f-taped, the the the the the the the the the the the the the.., the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, haven, haven't all the, haven't all the, haven't all the, haven't all the, haven't all the, haven't all the, the, the, the the the the, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.eeea.ea.ea.ea.ea.eauiauia.eauiauia.ea.ea.eauiauiauia.ea, thea, theed facing backlash after it was revealed that she attended a birthday party last month at the French Laundry, the famed and exclusive Napa Valley restaurant with seven other people at her table. And when this party happened, such gatherings were discouraged by statewide guidelines. The day before Breed's dinner at the French laundry, Governor Gavin Newsom also attended a party there with at at the th from different households. Denver Mayor Michael Hancock told residents of his city to skip large Thanksgiving dinners and then he promptly appeared at the Denver airport and flew to Mississippi to spend the holiday with his

wife and daughter. Before Thanksgiving the mayor of Austin Texas had this message for his city. We need to you know stay home if you can do everything you can to try to keep the numbers down th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.e.a.a.a. the the te.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. toea. toea. toe. to. to. to. to. to, you know, stay home if you can. Do everything you can to try to keep the numbers down. This is not the time to relax. But it turns out, when he gave that warning, Mayor Steve Adler wasn't home. He was on vacation in the swanky Mexican resort of Cabo San Lucas. Oh man, come on. What is it with these Democrats?

Hey, everybody. This is your mayor here, telling you to stay home and stay safe. Do the right thing. All my boys in the pool know what I'm talking about. Say what's up everybody? Yeah, ha ha, we live in that Cabo life, bitches! Like, I'm sorry, man. Everyone has given up their lives, and then you've got these politicians who are just hypocrites out here? Do you guys think Corona respects your office too much to come after you? Because don't forget, it got the President of the United States.

It's not gonna be starstruck by Governor Hedgell. And yeah, I know that Republicans are also having big indoor parties. I know that. Some people are like, oh, Trevor, what about the Republicans? Yeah, everyone expects them to be doing this. The official Republican party is just. the official. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, thi. thi. thi, thi, in fact, in a way, these Democrats are even worse than the anti-maskers because of their hypocrisy. At least when those dudes break the rules, they're open about it. Anti-Mosk people are just walking around

in bars, breathing into each other's faces. Hey, do you have any COVID-in-you-in-li-nighed? The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.

But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.