The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Coronavirus Updates - Trump's Kissing Comments, Cow Hugs & An Early Warning for Trump Donors

Episode Date: October 18, 2020

President Trump tells rally-goers he wants to kiss them, therapeutic cow-hugging surges in popularity, and Trump reportedly gave wealthy donors advance notice about the COVID-19 threat. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. After a week of being forced to quarantine, Donald J. Trump is back on the campaign trail

doing what he loves most, spreading COVID-19. President Trump returned to the campaign trail with a rally in Sanford, Florida. It was his first rally outside the White House since getting out of the hospital. The president threw masks into the audience as he walked onto the stage. Several members of the first family were in attendance. Many of them did not wear masks, including the president himself. I went through it. Now they say, I'm immune.

I can feel, I feel so powerful. I'll walk into that audience. I'll walk in there, I'll kiss everyone in that audience. I'll kiss the guys and beautiful women and, um, every but I'll just give you a a a a a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the guys and the beautiful women and everybody. I'll just give you a big fat kiss. Yes, my friends, it looks like Trump has emerged from his battle with the deadly virus and it's made him horny as hell. I guess it's true what they say. A serious illness can make you realize what's most important in life.

And also, kissing the women and the guys? Woo. I'm happy that Trump is now biohazard curious. That's cool. Although he may have just lost Mike Pence's votes. This is not the moral example we should be setting for those kids in cages. Also, it's insane how Trump says he'll kiss all the guys, but only the beautiful women. You ugly chicks, I'm out. I can deal with corona, but doctors say a butterface could be fatal. But hey, man, good for Trump.

I'm glad that he's feeling better. Although I think his recovery is going to be awful for public health. I mean, how are his supporters going to take coronavirus seriously if it can be beaten by a guy whose body is 83% the beautiful the beautiful the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. I's, th.. I's, tr.. I's, tr. I's, tr. I's, tr. I's, tre. I's, tre. I's, tre. I's, tru. I's tru. I'm tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. truu. tru. tru. I'm tru. I'm tru. I mean, how are his supporters going to take coronavirus seriously if it can be beaten by a guy whose body is 83% chicken nuggets? The fact is, Trump's behavior sets an example for the people around him. And you can see at the rally that people already taking Corona a whole lot less seriously. Governor Ron DeSantis is being criticized for his appearance at president that president Trump's rally in Sanford. This is the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis. He's at the rally that Trump is at right now,

and this is his entrance. Remember me! No mask, high-fiv in the crowd, then touching his face with the hand that he used to hi-fi. Man, I know everyone likes to shit on and then snort their germs. If you're the governor of Florida, then you've got to represent Florida, baby. I mean, this just shows you how powerful Trumpism is. His supporters think that his success is their success.

They're running around that rally like they got over COVID. Yeah, we're immune, baby. They like that with everything that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Trump does. Yeah we got tax cuts baby. No motherfuckers he got his tax cut. You're unemployed. Now although Trump is feeling better his poll numbers are still in the ICU which is why he's launched a bold new ad campaign to convince America that his handling of the pandemic has been as successful as his own personal steroid regime. The Trump campaign now facing pushback from Dr. Anthony Fauci after lifting part of a seven-month-old

soundbite from Fauci for a new ad. President Trump tackled the virus head on as leaders should. I can't imagine that anybody could be doing more. The president tweeting, they are indeed Dr. Fauci's own words. And the president's campaign tweeting, it will keep airing the ad. But Dr. Fauci tells NBC News, they did this without my permission, and my comments were taken out of context. Dr. Fauci wasn't talking about the president.

The quote is from an interview with Fox News back in March where he was talking about the coronavirus task force and its efforts to respond to the pandemic. I think it's really unfortunate and really disappointing that they did that. To take a completely out of context statement and put it in, which is obviously a political campaign ad, I thought it was really very disappointing. What would you say if I told you I heard that the Trump campaign was actually preparing to do another ad featuring you? You know, that would be terrible. I mean, that would be outrageous if they do that.

No, Dr. Fauci, what have you done? If you tell Trump not to do something, he's gonna do it even more. It's what happens all the time. Whatever you do, Mr. President, please, do not run your businesses while you're in office. You mean like this? No, okay, but at least don't host events during a pandemic. You mean, like this? No, but whatever you do, don't wipe your buggers on the White House curtains, please! You mean, like this? No, now the curtains are all green. To be honest guys, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to to the. the. to the. th. th. th. th now the curtains are all green. To be honest guys, I can't blame Trump for this. I mean he did what he had to do. It's not like he's got many doctors dying to endorse him. It was either quote Dr. Fauci out of context or bring back this dude. The good news for Trump is that while Dr. Fauci

may not be vouching for his medical expertise, Trump did get a very real endorsement from another top scientist, his son, Eric. I spoke to him three times that next Saturday. The guy sounded 100% it was amazing. It actually probably goes to speak to how good some of these vaccines that are being created are. What my father's done on the vaccine front, no one could have done. My father literally started day one creating this vaccine.

He worked to push this vaccine, and now my father just took it, and you see how well he got over it. Eric Trump talks about his dad, the way little children talk about their dads. My dad invented the Corona vaccine, and then he took the Corona vaccine, and now he's the strongest person in the world. Oh, and clearly Eric doesn't understand how vaccines even work.

They are the prevention, not the treatment. It's like how a condom is a prevention for having a kid like Eric, and then leaving him at the mall as a child hoping that he wouldn't find his way home was the treatment. Although it is nice that Eric thinks so highly of his dad. I bet President Trump was probably watching this at home like, wow, that stranger is so nice. But yes, according to business casual Napoleon Dynamites, not only did Donald Trump invent the vaccine, but it's already here. And you might be thinking, wait, Trevor, I just read that Johnson and Johnson had to pause their trial

because someone got a mysterious illness. Yeah, but you're just watching the wrong news. The real news is that coronavirus has been handled. I mean, you heard what Dr. Fauci didn't say. And here's the truth, people. If the President of the United States, with his team of 60 doctors and a hospital in his house and access to unreleased drugs can beat this virus, then clearly anyone can do it. Now, who wants a kiss? Come on, come get it.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look,

starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Peru, the country best known for its adorable living piñadas. Like most of the world, the South American nation has been in lockdown for coronavirus. But this week, it reopened its biggest attraction for one lucky guy. Patience has paid off for a Japanese tourist who refused to let the pandemic ruin his trip of a lifetime. Jesse Katamaya wanted to end his journey around the world at Machu Pichu, the ancient mountain citadel in Peru, but he arrived in March. That was just as the country's COVID lockdown started. So Jesse did something cool. He rented a room. He

studied yoga. He taught boxing to local kids and just waited. Word got around and on Sunday, Jesse was granted special access to Machu Picchu as the only visitor in seven months to be there before he headed home to Japan. Whether or not you care about Machu Picchu, this story is inspiring. Because this guy had a goal during COVID-and- to-covee, and he waited long enough to make it happen. We can all learn a lesson from that. Whether it's visiting a 15th century Incan fortress or finally taking a shower toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe. toe toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thioliolioliolioli. thi. thi. thiolioliolioli. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. And, their, their, their, their, their, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, the. And, the. And, thi. And, theananananananan. And, thiolioliolioli. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And lesson from that. Whether it's visiting a 15th century Incan Fortress or finally taking a shower today. You don't give up on your dreams, people. And I really admire this guy's patience. Because after two days of waiting,

I would have just paid some guy to photoshop me on too much of Pete you. See, it looks natural as hell and I'm ready to put it on my dating profile. But this story really has inspired me th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, we thu, we thu, thu. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thtoday, thtoday, thu, thatu, thatu, thtoday, thtoday, thtoday, thu, thu, thu, you thu, you thu, you thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You thu. You th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi, thi thi thi thin, that that to to that to to to thin, to to thin, to to thin, the that that that that that the the the to to put it on my dating profile. Eh! But this story really has inspired me, you know? Like, I really think the world would be a better place if we all learned to be a little more patient. Like, we're always in a rush. We always want to get someone. This person was like, I'm gonna wait and just take a moment.

Which is why, before we move on to our next story, I would like us to just sit out to to to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th..... to to th. to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean. throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. toe. toe on to our next story, I would like us to just sit together quietly with our own thoughts for just a minute. Get a clock up here and we can just chill. All right, you get the point, let's move on, because the clock's gonna go to zero, and then we end, you understand what's going on. Let's move, let's move. Because adventure travel isn't everyone's idea of a good vacation, sometimes you just want to unwind. You just want to distress a little. And if you can't make it to the beach, well, why not head out to the barn?

Well, people aren't getting in the hugs they used to before the pandemic, so if you need a hugge, there's this. There is a Dutch practice called cowhugging where where people literally hug cows for hours. The BBC says the cows warmer body temperature, slower heartbeat, and mammoth size can make hugging an incredibly soothing experience. And during the pandemic, cow hugging has apparently become a lot more popular. Cow hugging? What a wonderful idea for humans. And I'm sure the cows appreciate this too. I mean, for centuries, we've just been milking them.

It's about time we added some foreplay. It's also great because anyone can do it. You can just go to a farm and hug a cow. And if a regular cow isn't available, well, you can always hug your mama. Oh! No, but jokes aside, don't hug your mom. It's a COVID risk. Seriously, though, cow hugging does sound pretty sweet. But you have to be careful, though,

because you don't want to be in a McDonald's in a few years from now going, don't look now, but my ex is in that big Mac. This is so awkward. Oh my God. Also, do you think about how confusing this is from the cow's perspective, right? One day, humans are coming over to kill you, and then the next day, we're coming over to hug? The cow must be like, look, man, either chop me up

or put a ring on it, but enough with the mind games. And finally, some good news for people who love soap operas. Even social distancing rules can't stop your stories from getting hot and steamy. We know the pandemic and social distancing. They aren't stopping the romance on the set of one CVS soap opera. Take a look. That sounds like me laughing. That is a mannequin on the set of the Bold and Beautiful.

Normally actor Lauren St. Victor would be intimate with his love interest, Zoe, but Zoe was actually replaced by the mannequin. It's just one way the production is following COVID-safe rule. It is kind of funny, right? You see, you can make out with a mannequin. Take that security guards at the Westfield Mall. Turns out I was just ahead of my time. But can I just say, on a personal level, I'm just so proud of that mannequin.

I mean, last week, I saw her working at The Gap, and now she's on TV. That's what makes this country so great. If you're a mannequin who believes in hard work, you can end up as a soap star or even as a White House advisor. But what I love most about the story is that apparently not having a kiss in the show just wasn't an option for them. Yeah. I mean, they could have just written around the kiss, but the producers were like, yo, there are 2 million horny grandmas watching this show. He's taking his shirt off and kissing something. But while things are starting to get worse again, the crazy thing is, the Trump administration is pretending that the crisis is over.

Not only is the super spreader and chief running around the country, breathing on everyone in a mega hat, but Rudy Giuliani, Trump's top lawyer and White House Halloween decoration, actually told a rally the other day that, quote, people don't die of this disease anymore. Which is easy for him to say, I mean, he's been dead for 12 years. None of this is surprising anymore. Trump and his people have been in denial, or at least in public, they've been in denial. Because now, we're finding thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, or at least in public, they've been in denial. Because now we're finding out that while the rest of us were still preparing

for a normal year of movies and haircuts, Trump's rich friends were getting a heads-up about what was really about to happen. The New York Times is reporting that as the virus was first spreading last winter, reports about White House briefings on the potential impact of the pandemic fueled a sell-off among the wealthy. The Times reports it this way. The President's aides appeared to be giving wealthy party donors an early warning of a potentially impactful contagion at a time when Mr. Trump was publicly

insisting that the threat was non-existent. Elite traders had access to information from the administration that helped them gain financial advantage during a chaotic three days when global markets were teetering. Wow. That is really disgusting. And it just goes to show you that if you want the real scoop on what's really going on, you have to pay attention to what Wall Street billionaires are doing. If the government says everything is fine, but everyone on Wall Street starts building

spaceships, well then you might need to get your ass to another planet. And now, I know some of you might think that this is unfair. Oh, the billionaires got the information that everyone else could that as well. But guys, clearly you don't understand trickle-down economics. You see, the wealthiest 1% they get preferential treatment and then the rest of America gets valuable jobs in the nursing and grave digging industries. The system works. The Daily Show with Covanoa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show week nights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look,

starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.