The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Coronavirus Updates - U.S. COVID-19 Cases Reach All-Time High & CDC Thanksgiving Guidelines

Episode Date: November 15, 2020

The U.S. reports a record-breaking 100,000 new coronavirus cases in one day, Pfizer announces great news about a potential vaccine, and the CDC rolls out safety guidelines for Thanksgiving. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at that's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. It's the reason we're all still working from home and also why you're running around looking like a salad bar. Despite the fact that we totally ignored the virus, it looks like it is refusing to go away. Which means all over the US, the news looks like this.

For the first time ever, US coronavirus infections have reached a record 100,000 new cases in one day. And we're now inching our way toward the nine and a half million mark. In battleground states like Arizona, Wisconsin and Texas, COVID was top of mind for many Americans this election, but it's front and center every day for doctors like Jason Mitchell. This is the highest volumes that we've seen throughout this pandemic. As many focus on election results, first responders are still struggling to save lives, with COVID cases climbing in 43 states. We cannot afford to lose any more lives. Colorado is now accepting patients from outside its borders, but like other regions,

they too are facing a 100% spike in new cases. Though the mortality rate has improved, the volume in cases is accounting for an increase in deaths in 32 states. That's right, people. A hundred thousand new cases a day and an increase in deaths in 32 states. And don't forget, this is nine months in. Nine months. COVID-19 is like if Godzilla attacked Tokyo, but then signed a long-term lease. I love this city. There's always something happening. And everyone knows my name when I walked down the street.

Guyaka, Gaya, I'm like, how shucks, guys. But as you can see, coronavirus does not give a shit about politics. Even after the election, it carries on. And don't get me wrong. It was honored to meet meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet a to meet a to meet a to meet a the the the the the to meet a to meet a the to meet a to me. to me. to me. the the the thoomk. thoomorrow. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theanan. thean. tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. te. te. today. today. th th th, but it's not going to stop just because it's election time. And while the situation in the United States is uniquely bad, the pandemic is also getting worse in countries where the disease was under control. I mean, among the countries calling strict new lockdowns today, the United Kingdom has announced theirs.

Although I won't lie. Giving the Britsitson, the British British British, the British been their last chance to enjoy a social outing for a while. No, United Kingdom, what are you doing? This is like people who cheat at their bachelor parties. It still counts and you should definitely get tested. I mean, maybe COVID works differently in Britain, that's why they're doing this. Maybe British Corona gives you a head start. All right everybody, get one more point and then I'm coming for you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu thuu this. Maybe British Corona gives you a head start. All right, everybody, get one more point and then I'm coming for you. Now, there is some good news. Doctors are getting better

at treating COVID-19, pharmaceutical companies are coming closer to having a vaccine, and now a computer scientist might have found a faster way to diagnose the sickness. Scientists at MIT have a new way to figure out if someone's cough is a potential symptom of COVID-19. They just listen to it. Researchers say there's actually a difference in sound from a COVID-cough versus irregular cough, even if a patient is asymptomatic.

It's almost imperceptible to the human ear, but they have artificial intelligence. They can tell the difference. There are actually differences in a the strength the strength the strength the strength the strength the strength tell the difference. There are actually differences in the strength of your vocal cords, your lung performance, and in something researchers call the sentiment of the cough. Their tests were between 98 and 100% accurate. Researchers are hoping to use this as another screening tool for schools or other public places. Holy shit people, this is amazing.

We thought we needed a vaccine. When it turns out we just needed Shazam for diseases. ACHI! Oh, Ebola! I knew it was you, baby. And can I just say, this is great news for us human beings? Huh? Using technology to fix our diseases, but I do feel very bad for the artificial intelligence that we designed just for this purpose. I am Nexius.

I am nexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate to calculate the atoms the atoms the atoms the atoms the atoms to calculate the atoms to calculate to calculate the atoms the a the a the a the a thoomomom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. theaea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. theaea. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that we designed just for this purpose. I am Nexius, here to calculate the atoms in the galaxy and the origins of life. Oh yeah, that's great. Hey, can you tell me if this cough sounds weird? Somebody kill me. Please kill me now. Right now, the coronavirus is giving us a lot of good news and bad news. You know, sort of like getting laid at the family reunion. And because it's 2020, let's get straight to the bad news first. This morning, the US surpassing a staggering 10 million COVID-19 infections,

the highest number of reported cases in any nation. In the past week, roughly 74 Americans were diagnosed every minute. Countries across Europe are struggling to keep COVID-19 at bay. France has reported its highest daily death toll since the start of the second wave and the weekly death toll in England and Wales has jumped by 41% surpassing 1,000 for the first time since June. In Utah, overcrowding and intensive care units, forcing Governor Gary Hubert to declare a new state of emergency.

I am placing the entire state of Utah under a mask mandate until further notice. That's right. Corona is blowing up in Europe and America again. In fact, it's rampaging across the Western world so hard that scientists have had to invent new shades of red for those COVID maps. So right now the Midwest is kind of blood meets fire engine, but the East Coast over here is only at Pothead eyes. And I see what Corona did here?

It waited for all of us to be distracted by the election and then, boom! Snuck into our lungs. It's like how Joey Fetone snuck into in-sink. Everyone was so focused on rehearsing the dance moves, they didn't notice their bus driver had joined the group. It's gotten so bad that now even Utah is under a mosque mandate. And you know shit is bad when even Mormons are using protection. So, that's the bad news.

But I did promise you the good news too. And people, this is the news we've all been waiting for. The drug giant Pfizer said yesterday that its vaccine candidate was more than 90% effective in early testing. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the government's top infectious disease expert called the news extraordinary. He also says there are likely to be other effective vaccines coming soon. The news from Pfizer was even better than expected. I would have been very satisfied with a 70% effective vaccine. According to a Pfizer press release, out of almost 44,000 trial participants,

94 got sick from COVID. Four weeks after the start of the two-dose regimen, and seven days after the second dose, protection from symptomatic COVID was greater than 90%. We were jumping out of their chairs, screaming, basically, this is unbelievable. Oh my God, we may put an end to this terrible pandemic. Jumping out of their chairs screaming, you

know something is good news if it turns a laboratory into the Apollo. The COVID protection rate is 90%! And maybe it's because I grew up watching Dexter's lab, but this scientist's accent makes me want to trust him more, because he sounds like a scientist. I'm not going to lie, if he had the voice of a frat bro, I might be a little hesitant. Dude, this protection rate is like 90%. Pretty much the opposite of when I bang. But this is amazing news. In fact, right now, if you're feeling chills,

a little dizzy, lightheaded, that might not be corona. That might be the symptoms of hope. I know, you probably haven't felt it in a while. If you've also lost your sense of smell, you should go to the hospital. That's not hope. And in a year like this, it feels so exciting to get all this good news in one week. Huh? One week, all this good news. I'm like, calm down 2020? Is it my birthday? I've lost track of time. I don't even... Did I miss my birthday, did I miss my birthday? Plus Dr Fauchi approves of the vaccine. And that is a great sign. I pretty much don't do anything,

unless that man thinks it's a good idea. Hey, Dr. Fauci, I was thinking of ordering Thai food, and I just wanted to get your thoughts. Yeah, I know you're busy, but if you texted back, maybe I wouldn't have to call. To be clear, there are still a lot of unknowns about this vaccine situation and how it could play out. Right? Pfizer has put out a very promising press release, but they haven't actually shown complete data yet. And basically a press release is like a trailer for a movie that looks really cool, but we still got to see the whole movie before we know for sure. Is it going to be

a vengeance? Is it going to be a justice league? Plus, this particular vaccine is going to to to to to to to to to to to be parasite or is it going to be justice league? Plus, this particular vaccine is going to be really hard to distribute because it has to be kept super cold the entire time, at approximately negative 70 degrees Celsius, which is like negative 4 billion Fahrenheit in those imaginary numbers Americans use. You know what I'm saying. And the question is how you're going to keep a vaccine that cold during transport? I mean, the one way is to keep it in the limo between Trump and Melania. It's super chilly in there.

Or, here's my idea. The government should hire every ice cream truck in America to distribute the vaccine. Yeah, I'll volunteer to drive. Mr. Ice Cream Man, we need the vaccine! Stop Mr. Ice Cream Man! Oh, I heard them. I'm just going to make them run a few more blocks. So while we're waiting for the vaccine to actually become available, we need to get the virus under control.

And that job is about to fall to a new president. Joseph Remdeservi Biden. And it looks like he's hitting the ground running. President-elect Joe Biden, making it clear the work, begins today with the pandemic his first order of business. Biden briefed by his new coronavirus task force, led by former Obama Surgeon General Vivek Murphy, David Kessler, who ran the FDA under George H.W Bush and Bill Clinton, and Dr. Marcella Nunez Smith, a professor of public health at Yale. He also implored every American to do their part.

We can save tens of thousands of lives if everyone would just wear a mask for the next few months. Not Democrat or Republican lives, American lives. Poor Joe Biden. He's trying so hard. He sounds like the only dude who tries to follow the rules at the sauna. Guys, if we all just wore a towel, we could avoid so many unnecessary rashes. But yeah, Biden has a brand new task force.

And personally, I think it's an interesting choice to fool your task force with people who know what they're doing. Like, I don't even think he asked the My Pillow guy. I mean, it's not what we used to, but I guess we'll give it a shot. And honestly, that's going to be the biggest difference between Trump and Biden as presidents. Biden is going to be telling us all the boring the boring the boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring the boring boring boring boring boring the boring boring the boring boring boring boring the boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring the boring boring boring boring the boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring the boring the boring the boring the boring the boring the the the the boring the the to t be telling us all the boring things like, you know, be responsible, look out for each other. Meanwhile, Trump was like getting that one day a month with your divorced dad.

You know, he's going to sneak you into six flags and let you try beer, which is fine for a day or two, but after four years, your future starts to look really bleak. Oh, and speaking of a very responsible, remember how the White House had a thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thri. thri. thri. thri. thri. thri. thri. thri. thr. thr. thr. thr. a Corona breakout last month because they didn't follow the rules? And you thought, oh, well, maybe this will be the thing that whips them into shape? Well, think again. This morning, the Trump administration is yet again the center of a COVID outbreak. Housing Secretary Ben Carson, a doctor and member of the President's COVID-PANNLLLLL-Ea, and David Balsi, president's election legal team, among at least nine people in Trump's circle to be diagnosed in recent days. God damn people! Another outbreak in Trump's White House?

Another outbreak? That means coronavirus has now been in the White House longer than most of Trump's cabinets. And I expected this from everyone else, but Ben Carson. Dr. Ben Carson? I know you own a mosque. You've been wearing one for 40 years. Don't be letting these crazy white folk bring you down Dr. Carson. You saw what they did to Herman Kane. At the right things are going, they're going to be finding Corona in the White House for decades. It's going to be behind the walls, in the insulation.

Before Biden moves in, they're going to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. the insulation. Before Biden moves in, they're going to have to cover the whole place in one of those tents. In fact, given how much Corona is in the White House, maybe Trump shouldn't leave. Because let's be honest, that's Corona's HQ right now. Let's just keep Trump inside, build a wall around it, and then get Joe Biden a nice Airbnb in D.C. That way, everybody wins. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free.

At Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruit find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Again, that's Zip Recruiter.com. Sip Recruit, the smartest way to hire.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Coronavirus, you know, it's the thing you are pretty sure you had in February, but actually didn't. The world is now deep into the second wave of this pandemic or maybe the third wave or the fourth. I don't know. At this point COVID has so many

waves it's like those pools at the amusement park which are also big spreaders of exotic disease. And after doing a little better over the past few months unfortunately the US shows no signs of getting out of the pool. The new explosion of cases in the coronavirus crisis, if you heard this, the U.S. reported a record-shattering number of new infections. For the first time, all 50 states reported an increase in cases. Shocking, seven-day averages in Kansas at 41 percent. Iowa at 48 percent.

South Dakota at an astonishing 54%. New restrictions are about to go into effect in New York State. Beginning tomorrow, all bars and restaurants must close for dining at 10 p.m. Jim must also close to 10 p.m. and all private gatherings must be limited to 10 people or less. A passenger on board the first cruise to set sail in the Caribbean since March, reportedly testing positive for the coronavirus. All passengers were tested before boarding, but on Tuesday, one felt sick and tested positive. All guests are now quarantining in their rooms. Okay, I know what you're thinking.

Why are they having cruises during a pandemic? But I actually think that there should be more cruises. In fact, I think there should be free cruises for anyone who wants one. Because those are the people who love spreading the virus. It's better to just get them all on boats and put them safely in the middle of the ocean and then leave them there for six months. If Corona doesn't get them, the buffet will. Good riddens, Joe! And best believe there are a lot of people who are going to pretend to be angry that gyms are closed. But really, deep down inside, they're happy. Because people love having a reason to not work out.

I mean, not me. Like yesterday, I was planning to work out, but then I had to cancel because I think I've got a cramp in my earlobe, I just don't want to risk it. But to put it all in perspective, in some states, the coronavirus positivity rate is around 50% right now. So if you live in South Dakota or Iowa, look at the person to your left. Now look at the person to your right. Why are you sitting between two people? You're going to get coronavirus! So yes, coronavirus is getting worse and worse as the winter months ari...... to. And to. And to. And to. And to. And to. And to. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. threats. threats. the. the. threats, the. the. thi. thi. the is getting worse and worse as the winter months arrive. And with things spiraling out of control just in time for the holidays, the CDC has issued

new guidelines for how families can have a safe Thanksgiving, to which some families are saying, mind your own god-dam business. Experts say half of all Americans plan to travel for the holiday, going against those new CDC guidelines, which recommend celebrating Thanksgiving virtually or only with people in your own household and preferably outside. For indoor dinners, the CDC says keep the windows open, spread out as much as possible, and wear masks. How about Christmas? What are we going to do for Christmas now? We lost the summer, now we're going to lose Thanksgiving.

I mean, you know, you and I are both Italian, telling Italian not to get together on holidays, it's pretty tough. Honestly, I know it seems irresponsible, but I think it is great for people to gather during a pandemic. Yeah, because isn't that what Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is than Thanksgiving is that what Thanksgiving is all about? Spreading a disease that wipes out a continent. I'm actually surprised Republicans still won Thanksgiving this year. I mean, after Joe Biden won?

Can you imagine what Thanksgiving is going to be like? Them millennial nieces and nephews are going to be showing up like they own the place. It's going to be walking around like, damn! These mashed potatoes are disappearing faster than your Second Amendment rights, Uncle Steve! Ha! The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September, 1968. show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.