The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Corresponent Spotlight: Kristen Schaal on Women's Political Interests, Abortion, and Manspreading

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Daily Show correspondent Kristen Schaal always helps break down issues that concern women politically and personally. She walks us through politician's attempted efforts to deliver issues through a women's perspective and the GOP's stance on abortion funding for rape victims. Also, Kristen walks host, Jon Stewart, through the MTA's efforts to get men to close their legs when sitting on the subway. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire. And this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie, Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire the official survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. The midterm elections and I know you're all really excited are only a month away. And their outcome will be in the hands of one constituency.

Women are going to decide this election. The importance of winning over women. Women are going to be the ones that decide who controls the Senate. Women are the top in 2014. the last place, thanks. Seemed awfully high pitch. There's a few. Women are the top interest group in 2014.

In last place, once again, Merman lawyers. Oh, I'm so sorry. Now, usually women are a sure thing for Democrats, but this year the GOP is launching a big rebranding effort to change that, and you know what that means. Republicans are trying to leverage the women's vote. It's big rebranding effort. The National College Republicans, they ran an ad with the idea of attracting younger women

into voting Republican. The barrage of TV advertisements sponsored by a well-funded conservative group featuring women. A nearly one million dollar campaign ad to draw young female voters to the GOP. I'll give you $1 million to spend just five minutes in the voters booth with your demographic. For more, we turn to senior women's issues correspondent, Kristen Shaw. Kristen! Hello!

I'm good. I'm so glad you're feeling there. I'm so glad you're feeling there. Oh, well. Hi, I'm Molly. Kristen, how is this Republican ad campaign outreach to women?. women?. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to women? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to to to to young? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to young? to to to the the the the the the the the voters? the the voters? the the the the voters? the voters? the the voters? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to there. Me too. I'm always... Kristen, how is this Republican ad campaign outreach to women going? So great, John. Republicans have finally figured out what's most important to women.

Menfolk. Women don't see candidates as potential leaders. We see them as possible soulmates. And Republicans are finally running ads to reflect that. Welcome to the candidate. Bachelorette Ashley now must make her final decision. Mark's always invading my space, spying on my messages, reading my emails. Will Ashley send Mark the Democrat packing? Will she finally choose Rick, the Republican who will work for her future?

Oh my God, Rick's so dreamy. I hope you even choose Mark, he's a mess. Yeah, but so far as the GOP goes, women think elections are just about getting into relationships? No, no, that's insulting and reductive. Women don't just think about getting into relationships. We also think about getting out of them, like the one we're in with Obama. In 2008, I fell in love.

His online profile made him seem so perfect. I trusted him. But by 2012, our relationship was in trouble. Oh, wow. Let it out, girl. We've all been there. He's in my emails and text messages, spying on me but ignoring real threats. He thinks the only thing I care about is free birth control.

But he won't even let me keep my own doctor. She's right. We gave Obama our hearts, and all we got in return is this free birth control? Isn't that isn't that really too many? Not for Democrats. So, I, isn't that really too many? Not for Democrats. You know, this whole camp, this whole camp, this whole camp, I'm really hoping those fell off your life. I'm feeling those fell, instead of what?

I just saw something under the table move, and then I heard them hit the floor. I don't, I don't know what happened. This whole angle that the table move and then I heard them hit the floor. I don't know what happened. This whole angle that the Ruffins can come up, it feels like, do you remember when they wanted more girls to play Pac-Man? So then they just slapped lipstick and a bow on Pac-Man and then called it Ms. Pac-Man. thin, Ms. Pac, pretzels, ghosts. I didn't know her courage. I don't forgive you, John.

Face it, Republicans finally figured out how women's brains work. Science shows that this part right here is devoted to thinking about relationships and the small part here is bitchiness. Were those scientists, women scientists? Were those scientists, women scientists? Ooh,, pew, pew, pew. Peepoo. Peepoo. They've even designed an ad for when you meet the perfect candidate

and you know right away that he's the one. And then it's time for every little girl's wet dream, finding a wedding dress. The Tom Corbett is perfect. I like the Tom Wolff. It's overpriced and a little outdated, but I know best. And don't forget the Tom Wolf comes with additional costs. There's increased taxes. Mom, this is my decision.

I see a better future with Tom Corbett. It all worked out in the end because Brittany said yes to Tom Corbett. Oh, I'm so happy for you, Brittany. I mean, I'm a little jealous because that dress would have looked so much better on me, but you look beautiful. Congratulations. Kristen, this is outrageous. And why don't men get these kinds of ads?

Oh, don't worry. Republicans also have ads targeting men in the exact same insulting way. You know the same. F. Feeke her right in the b- I'm the guy who came up with that. And I vote Republican. You want to get your t-sweat? And you've got to kick Mary Landrieu to the curb. A centrist Democrat. What is that even? It's so confusing, just like chicks, right?

Vote Republican, if you want to rock! For Republican, if you got the mads. Who's that guy? Who's that guy? Because I want to vote for that guy. That's a guy. I want to fuck that guy right in the the fuck. Who's that guy?

Because I want to vote for that guy. I want to fuck that guy? Because I want to vote for that guy! That's a guy. I want to fuck that guy right in the B'eck. We begin the night in Washington, though, in a season of fiscal discipline. House Republicans are discovering the cutting spending isn't as easy as they had hoped. It turns out people like some of the things government does for them.

Luckily the Republicans have come up with a brilliant the their of cutting services for people, they cut services for women? 747 million in cuts to the nutrition program for women, infants and children. Cutting more than a billion dollars from the Head Start education program. One of the bills eliminates tax breaks for private employers who provide health coverage if their plans offer abortion services. Allowing hospitals to refuse to perform an abortion on a woman even if she'll die. Wow, that's so pro-life even if it kills you. So they want to cut everything from family care to prenatal care to child nutrition.

It's like the Republicans of Congress are saying, you can't prevent an unwanted child. You can't get care if you do get pregnant, and we won't give you any help feeding the kid after it's born. But, for those two minutes, when that skull is crowning, your baby's the most precious thing on it. Much of the GOP focus is on planned parenthood, which, to hear the to hear their their their their their their their their their their their their the most precious thing on it. Much of the GOP focuses on Planned Parenthood, which, to hear them tell it, is apparently in the abortion business for an unusual reason. Planned Parenthood isn't about health, it's about profit. They're focused on becoming big business. They reported a $63 billion profit. Did they make money on the abortions? That's ridiculous. Everyone knows Planned Parenthoods. That's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- their their their their their their their their thi- their their thi-a. their thi- the abortions. That's ridiculous. Everyone knows Planned Parenthood doesn't make money on the abortions. It's the concessions. That's where the money is. You're junior

mince. You're nachos. I mean, who needs that big a drink to go in. For more on the house's defunding efforts. We're joined by senior women's issues correspondent, Kristen Schoen. Kristen, thank you. Thank you. Go to this way. Or this way. Last time you were here, Kristen, if you remember, we discussed the house conservative to reduce federally funded abortions for rape victims by redefining the term rape.

Which would have totally worked if the Republicans hadn't backed down at the last minute, the pussies. That may be the most chilling way I've ever heard that phrase. It's like from saw three or something. Kristen, are we seeing bills that would restrict abortions by cutting funds for a much broader range of services now? Is that what's going on? What it would do is deny millions of women routine checkups and examinations,

with defund gynecological exams, cervical cancer tests, UTI treatments, and the full panoply of women's health services that Planned Parenthood provides. I'll admit, Planned Parenthood is running quite an elaborate front for its abortion stores. But the facts are just what Mike Pence said. If an organization has anything to do with abortions, then everything that organization does is tainted and shouldn't get any government money. So you are coming out in support of this new house. Yes. If anything, they don't go far enough. Our taxes are going to abortions in ways in the thiors in thiors in thiors in thiors in thiors in thiors in to to to thiors in to to to to to the abortions in thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia. thia. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to the. to, thea. to to to thea. to toea. toea. toea. to thea. thea. thea. tha. tha. tha. th new house. Yes. If anything, they don't go far enough. Our taxes are going to abortions in ways no one is even talking about. Well, let's talk about it now. What, how?

Well, for starters, we have to cut funding for fire departments. Now, why would that be? Hello? What if an abortion clinic catches fire and firefighters put it out? Paving the way for more abortions? Abortionist firefighters paid for with our taxpayer dollars. But that's like saying we have to defund the Coast Guard because abortion providers go to the beach. So... I hadn't even thought of that. But you're right. No more Coast Guard. Give me another. This is fun. FAA. Mile High Club.

Number one cause of unwanted pregnancies between Newark and L. Mile below club. Library of Congress. Sexy librarians. NASA. Space abortions. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. John, please, I'm getting pregnant just listening to you. Kristen, if you try hard enough, try hard enough, that's the boubon stock, don't you could link abortion to any piece of spending. Exactly. It's disgusting. I mean, how can Mike Pence be sure that when he pays money

for something, it would ultimately go to pay for an abortion? Well, I guess there's no way to guarantee it, so it's... There is now. Presenting, tah-da-da-da! Storkbox. A pro-life currency that can't be spent on anything having to do with abortion. Here, try to buy something for me me. Well if you want to. You know what? Uh, hello?

Hello? I'd like to buy a cup of coffee with my stork box. Oh, would you? Yes. What's wrong with coffee? It has caffeine. The drug that keeps abortion doctors awake so they can perform abortions all night long. I don't think so. People do not, listen, it's a delicate issue. It's not, people are not gleeful about performing abortions. They're not gleeful about the...

things are, oh God. What are these. Things are, oh God, what are these made of, by the way? They seem very flammable. Just tree pulp, gum powder, and stork meat. After the whole BP thing, the government spends money on. I may not want my taxes paying for waterboarding or subsidies or Mike Pence's prostate exams. But there goes my money. Straight up Mike Pince's ass, I know.

Unless of course, you're spending my new currency, Sunshine Bucks. They don't go where the sun don't shine. The 20 has Mike Pins' prostate on it. Do we have that image? I don't think we have that image. I think, uh... All right, thank you very much, Kristen. Kristen Shaw, everybody. We'll be right back. Go ahead.

Streaming soon, on Paramount Plus. This is Dr. Frazier than ever. How do I look? Rich. Just what I was going before. Oh my God, they traded your baby for wine! Do you really think we would trade John for white Zinfandel? Or any wine?

Frazier. New season streaming September 19th, on Paramount Plus. Everyone knows that in the real Mercka, people ride pick up trucks and fix your flat tires. But if you live in a city, you got your public transportation. the people from all walks of life, to ties. But if you live in a city, you got your public transportation. Where people from all walks of life come together to to annoy each other. But if you live in a city, you got your public transportation.

Where people from all walks of life come together to annoy each other, very close to us. They're always finding new ways to do it. It's a battle against man-spreading. It is a guy taking up two seats. For the first time, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority is asking men to mind the gap. Mind the gap. Mind the gap. I think that might be the nicest way to say, don't be an asshole in the subway. And yet, it seems like a simple question of manners taking up two seats when you could

take up one, has somehow opened a new front in the culture war. Leg spreaders, they're the worst. Men, bad. Yeah. It's more comfortable. Yeah. The other ones are lower the restraining. Men's groups are calling it male oppression.

And apparently calling themselves men's groups. And apparently calling themselves men's groups. Take that for what it's worth. For more, we're joined by senior women's issues correspondent, Kristen Shaw. Kristen. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.

That's up. Oh, yeah. This is a big deal, John. And I just want to say men. I'm sorry. You should absolutely have that extra seat. You deserve that extra seat. But do the math. Men make 30% more than women.

They should have 30% more space on the ride to work. There's not, Chris, there's not even what it's about. This is just an issue of common courtesy on the subway. That's... Oh no, John. You've been so brainwashed by this feminized world. You can't even see everything that men have lost. You used to run companies by yourself. You used to run countries by yourself.

You used to do everything, just you dudes. And if a woman showed up, you got to call her sugar tits with no consequences. You gave her a seat in the typewriter pool with all the other sugar tits. Uh, minor point. I think it's tits eye. Tits eye. The subway is the only place men have left. We've literally driven you underground to find that last inch of ball space. And now society's saying, no, even there a man's place

is on one seat, knees together. As a woman who has struggled her entire life to keep her knees together, I, you may not be aware of this, but one regular subway seat does grant you a good amount of ball space. It's not, it's not, wow. What? John, can I talk directly to your testicles for a second? Because I think you're holding them hostage. You poor caged balls. Your ancestors used to roam free. The wind blowing through your soft, fuzzy hair. The sun soaking up into your wrinkled skin,

knowing that this day, this land, this whole goddamn world was yours. Oh, that was actually, that was quite moving. That was... Oh, John, your balls are crying. Not crying, Kristen, they're allergic to wool. Come on, John, just get it together. Occupying all the territory you can is sexy. When I'm in a subway car with all those men taking charge of the seats around them, I get so weak in the knees I can barely stand, but I have to.

You see that that seems that seems rude to make you stand in that. John, who's the manliest manlyest man in the world? That's George Clooney's the manliest. Yes, Jean Claude Van Damme. And look how much room he needs for his balls. Wow. Would you call that rude or amazing? It's amazing. I think my balls would protest him like that. Well, then get out of the way. Because this man spreading train is going express. It's no longer about individual comfort. It's a movement. The MTA wants to run its acts? Fine. We're going to run ours. When they tell men to rein it in, you lock those legs together. United We sit. That's right.

I don't know how effective a movement is, but it seems a nice way to make a friend. Only God you guys, John Stewart is the loneliest man. No, that's t. I. I. I. I. I train, I train. I train. I train. I train. I train. I train. I tr. I tr. I tr. I tr. I tr. I tr. I, tr. I, tr. I, tr. I, tr. I, train, train, train, the train, the the train, the the the train, the the the train, the the the the train. the the the train. the train. train. train. train. train. train. train. train. train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train my God, you guys, John Stewart is the loneliest man. No, that's not. She doesn't mean that, guys. Don't... Listen, I want to see men fighting the good fight, spreading with pride. And hey, while you're at it, maybe, you know, you show us what you're fighting for. I don't understand what you're... Well, just don't be so tight, sugar balls, you know, give us a little pink. Like this guy, you're not showing the whole stack.

Just a little clip, you know? A little ball cleavage. If you're joining the movement, we've got to see the goods you're moving, right? Explore more shows from the daily the daily the daily the daily thi thi thi thi you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th. you th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thioli. thi. thi. thiolight, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. toge. too-s. tooom. tooom. too. too. too. to see the goods you're moving, right? Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Survivor 47 is here which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast on fire and this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner up Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action Charlie I'm excited to do this

together. Thanks Jeff so excited to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast.