The Daily Show: Ears Edition - CP Time: The History of Black Governors

Episode Date: November 13, 2022

When most people think of governors, they think of old white men in mansions. Roy Wood Jr. investigates the history of Black governors, including P.B.S. Pinchback, Douglas Wilder, Deval Patrick, and David Paterson. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Well, hello. Welcome to CP Time. The only show. It's for the culture. Well, hello. Welcome to CP Time. The only show.

It's fun the culture. Today, we'll be discussing the history of black governors. And I know when you think of governors. You think of old white men and big mansions with the top hat and that weird monocle. Just wear some glasses, governor. You can afford the frames. But in fact, America has a history of unknown but meaningful black governors.

Like PBS Pinchback, America's first black governor, and the only politician in US history brought to you by viewers like you. Pinchback was born in Georgia to a black slave mother and a white plantation owner who emancipated his baby mama, which would have made for one hell of a Mori episode. During his life, Pinchback, who could pass as a white man of Latin descent, leaned into his blackness, something that is known today as Draking.

Pinchback got involved in politics and rose to the third highest office in the state of Louisiana, which is pro temp of the Senate. Not as some people believe, the football coach of LSU. Then in 1872, after the Lieutenant governor died and the governor was impeached, Pinchback became governor, because sometimes the best way for black people to take power is to just wait for somebody else to die. Carmelo. Pinchback would unfortunately only hold the office for 35 days, but during that

brief step, he enacted 10 laws. Proving it's not about how long you last, fellas. It's about how efficient you are when you in there. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Which brings us to our sponsor. Gas station sexual enhancement pills. I don't know how they work. I don't know what's in them. But I do know they make my chest hurt.

After PBS pinchback's governorship, America would not see another black person serving that role for over 100 years. That man would be Douglas Wilder. Wilder grew up in the segregated south of the 1930s. During his time at Virginia's Union University, he experienced so much racism working at a diner, he considered poison in white people salads, which may sound harsh. But if you order a salad at a diner, you deserve to be poison. After graduating, Wilder was drafted into the army and served in the Korean War.

He would go on to win the bronze star for his heroism during the Battle of Pork Chop Hill. Now Pork Chop Hill, that's what you want to order at a diner. A whole big pile of pork chops, saut and butter and garlic and it's just the gravy, delicious. Wilder returned to Virginia and got into politics. After serving in the Virginia Senate, in 1989, he became the first black person ever elected governor of Virginia. And he owed it all to his campaign slogan, Don't make me poison your salad.

Moving on. Our next black governor is Deval Patrick. Patrick was raised by a single mother on Chicago South Side after his father, a jazz musician, left his family. Because everybody knows that jazz is all about the kids you don't raise. After graduating from Harvard Law School, DeVal spent the early 80s working as a lawyer for the NWACP. During that time, he sued then Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton, and impressed him so much during the case Clinton later hired him.

Which I get. You ever get your ass beat by somebody playing pick up basketball so bad? You'd be like, you got to be on my team. Then he hates playing with you because you've got a busted knee and a bad heart and you won't stop slapping people's asses because that's what we did back in the day. It was nothing sexual about that, Carl. Call me back, Carl. Let's ball. Anyway, after serving in President Clinton's Justice Department, DeVal spent some time working in the private sector before returning to politics. In 2006, Deval became the first black governor

of Massachusetts, succeeding the whitest governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney. It was like going from watching Frazier to the B.T. awards. It's jarring. Moving on to our final governor, David Patterson, who was not only New York's first black governor, but also the first blind governor in American history. He was like a political Stevie Wonder. If you're one of those people who actually believe that Stevie Wonder's blind. I know you can see Stevie. I was at the concert in 78 and you turn and ran from me. I want my money, mother-fix. In 2008, then Lieutenant Governor Patterson took over the

governorship from Elliot Spitzer, after Spitzer was disgrace from having numerous affairs with high-end escorts. But once Patterson took office, he proved that black governors could also be plagued with scandals. A previous affair with a co-worker came to light. He was accused of giving Jay-Z a sweetheart investment deal. He was fine for unlawfully accepting Yankees World Series tickets. All in all, he was having a pretty good time as governor. But that's all the black governors we have

time to discuss today. There are no more black governors. That was all the black governors. Damn. Black people who produce less governors than predator movies. It tells me two things. One, America must do better and two, I need to watch predator again. That was a damn good movie. This has been CP time. And remember, for the culture. Mmm. Gas station sex pill kicking in. Jimmy, bring me my defibulator. Jimmy, bring me my defibulator. Watch the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full

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