The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Day Dates vs. Dinner Dates | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: March 12, 2023

“You can actually have an experience with a person in a day date, that I think in dinner dates you’re limited.” - Josh Johnson   “What I’m saying is, you better take a bitch to dinner first. You better spend them coins.” - Dulcé Sloan   It’s day dates vs. dinner dates this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson   Hold Up  is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. What's up, Ears Edition listener? It's Dulce-Slone, correspondent for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original Daily Show Podcasts, Hold-Up, hosted by me and daily show writer Josh Johnson, is where we take our office banter into weekly war of words about topics big and small. In this episode, we debate day dates versus dinner dates. Would you rather an afternoon walk in a scenic park or be winded and dined under the stars? Josh and I go back and forth about where we'd rather spend time with our significant others.

It's a great one and we hope you enjoy it. And if you like the show, check out the Holdup podcast wherever you get your podcast. Hey everybody, welcome. What's up, everybody? How you doing? How's the day going? You know? If you were using this to fall asleep, big mistake. All right, because it's hold up.

So wake up and enjoy some of these hot topics. We are coming to you with the most important things to us, not the world, not your peers. This will not make you seem smart when you to go. How to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. What's tho. What's tho. What's thoes. What's thoes. What's thoom. What's the the the thoom. What's the thoes. What's the thoes. What's the the th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What th. What th. What the. What, we are coming to you with the most important things to us, not the world, not your peers. This will not make you seem smart when you go and hang out with your friends and y'all discuss podcast. We're not talking about world events. We're not talking about current events. We're talking about, one of your co-host Josh Johnson, I'm a writer for the Daily Show, and I am joined by...

Jose Sloan! I'm a correspondent on this hair Daily Show. And I am going to tell you what today's top was going to be, because... I was in Arlington, Virginia over the weekend and a very nice lady and a very gorgeous pink, like a light, like a dusty pea coat, pink pea coat by the name of a Jesse gave me some topics to discuss on the show. And one of those topics is day dates versus dinner dates. When we tell you, come to our shows and tell us, she said she found out that I was going to be at the Arlington Draft House because I was listening to the show. We're always like, come see us, come talk to us.

And she came that. She came and she talked. And now we're doing her topic on the show. So start out to Jesse in Arlington, Virginia. Thank you for coming to see me at the Arlington Draft House. And this is day dates versus dinner dates. Now Josh, you've been on dates before, I assume, yes, we hope. Now I think I have a feeling. Oh my God. An inclination. A little tickle in my ear. Yeah, okay. About what I think. Think. You might pick. But tell the people, Joshua. Yeah. Yeah. What? As a former trader Joe's employee. And you're like, what does that even have to do with anything? Who was out here try to date people? Wow!

What do you prefer? Day dates or dinner dates? Okay. Mm-hmm. Well, I believe that both of these dates are important. I truly believe that they're both important. I think that for your peace of mind, for your time, and for your overall day as an individual, I'm gonna go with day dates. All right. You with day dates. All right. You said day dates.

I can explain. What I heard, what I heard was, I don't have any money. No, no, no, that's not what it is, I promise. No, no, no, because a day date is done by the man who only wants to get coffee because he doesn't want to invest money into trying to see my virgin no no no no he can spend 725 at a Starbucks and then maybe get dinner later not be no no let's be let's be very clear here okay I just said both dates were important

I didn't say they weren't. I am saying that for your day as the individual, and I can explain, I'm not saying that no one that loves day dates isn't broke, all right? I'm not going to be out here telling you that no one that loves day dates has no money. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying functionally. Functionally. I think that it's an easier and it's a better impression. Tell us about your poverty. Go ahead. My poverty like this is my thing. I'm not even cold. I'm just trying to protect myself from all the things you're about. So, I'm the things you not even wow okay so I'm not even cold I'm just trying to protect

myself from all the things you're about to say wow this is like both calmly and like and this is like maybe the most sideways you've ever come at me like like this is actually this is actually this is actually wild because you're not like, you're not like, you're not, you know, being belligerent or anything. You're very calmly coming truly for my neck. Like, it, like, and I don't, wow, where's all this coming from? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'm gonna tell you why, okay? I believe that a lot of pressure is put on people and this is like everything that I'm describing right now is gonna be genderless, okay? I'm talking about all of dating. I'm talking about everybody who does date, all right? There's an incredible

amount of pressure and there's an incredible amount of like anxiety around just dates in general, first dates especially, okay? Okay? There's an incredible amount of pressure and there is an incredible amount of like anxiety around just dates in general, first dates especially, okay? I think that rather when I look at myself as an individual and what it was like in Chicago when I was dating and stuff like that, I think that it is a much easier thing to start your date. Because the benefit that I think that day dates have that dinner dates don't, night dates don't, is that if we hang out long enough, it goes into the night. You know, if you're having a good time, if you're having a good time and you enjoy my company, we're into the night date now, now we're gonna go get dinner, you know?

And I think that you also lessen the amount of anxiety you have throughout the day because when you do have a night date, like a dinner date, you're worried about that thing all day. Especially if you really like the person or you really want them to like you, that's anxiety driving all day. So you nip some of that in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thure thike thiff, you thiq up up up up, you thiq up, you thiq up, you thiq up, you thi, you th. th. th. tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thee, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomom. Ande, that's anxiety driving all day. So you nip some of that in the bud by starting the date. Like you woke up, you had your breakfast, maybe you worked out, maybe you just, you know, went to, you know, work or something, especially if this day date is on a weekend.

You did a couple things and then you met someone and you met up and you were able, in my opinion, there are better activities to do during the day than there are at night sometimes. So if I want to take you on like an event, there's like there's concerts at night, there's comedy shows at night, there's all this stuff, but you can actually have an experience with a person in a day date that I think in dinner dates you're limited and also with with late night dates or nighttime dates you do start to have the pressures of like okay where are we gonna end up where is this going was whereas I think in a day date you talked about the broke dudes I think in the

day date you you either have to really believe in yourself or you have to the best date of all time to think that you're gonna pull a bedroom out out the the the the the the the the the the the the day date, you either have to really believe in yourself or you have to be having the best date of all time to think that you're going to pull a bedroom out of this date if y'all met up at 2 p.m. That's all I'm saying is that I think a nighttime date, if we're meeting up at 9 to have dinner, thi and if you're going on a date with, if you're going on a date and you're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, that, that, that, that that, that that that that that, that that, if you're that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi.., that the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, they, they you're they you're they all you're they all you're going that that that that that you're that you're going that that that have dinner, right? See, no, no, no. It's almost bedtime to begin with. No, you can't meet that late for dinner date. You can't meet that late. I'm just, but night is night to me. Night is night. So it could be any point.

We all know that going to dinner at 10. Mm-hmm. If I make me dinner at 10, I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th. thi, you that, you that, you can't, you that, you that, you that, you can't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, you, you, you, you, you that, you, you, you, you. You. You. You. You. You, you. You. You, you. You. You, you. You, you. You, you, you, you, you, you. You, you, you that, you that, that, that, that that, that that that that that that that that, that, that whole different class restaurant. Yeah. A lot of restaurants close at 10. If I make me dinner at 10, I see what you're saying. There are more, like I've gone to, I've had daytime dates, like had brunch. Mm-hmm. Gone to the beltline here and walked around with some dude.

Got all my steps in that day. I'll tell that damn much. But ooh, oh, I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that that that that that that that that that the the that that that the that the that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that day I'll tell that damn much. But oh I'll offer up one last thing because I don't I don't I'm I apologize for interrupting but I do want to offer up one last thing. When you are on a day date the the ability to split with things go sideways goes up exponentially. Because when you have a nighttime date yes you have you have a nighttime date, you know and they know that y'all both planned to be here. So then when you get the text of like, oh, your apartment's off fire or whatever, it's like,

it's blatantly obvious you're just trying to leave. Like it just is, unless it was going wonderfully and y'all are both vibing and it's undeniable whatever. People can tell that you're trying to get out of there. Whereas with a day date, if it goes sideways at all, the whole rest of the day is what you have to look forward to. So you can be like, oh, hey, yeah, my dog freaking out. So I got to go. See, he just hit me. Yeah, my roommate.

My, my, my, my, my, my, to to told, the the told, the the th. . . . he just hit me telepathically. And so now I gotta go. Yeah, my roommate told me like, you don't have roommates. I'm like, it is what it is, bro, I gotta go. Um, I've told guys on date, this isn't gonna go. I'm gonna go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, do you have something else to do?

No. Yeah, yeah. been I've been on a day before where I said in the middle of and I didn't say it in a rude way and I wasn't like it wasn't like I was getting some attitude I was just like ah this one's not going well is it and like it was just a thing where we both agree we were both like like we started laughing we were like ah yeah I don't know what it was we both we both from both of our pictures we thou and it's like nah I've had that I had a date go bad to the point and I had to drive for this date too like I drove like 30 minutes over 30 minutes it was like Atlanta so you drive 30 minutes all time but almost 40 minutes for his date it doesn't go well and so it's not going well to the point where he offers to get

food to go for my mom. Like it's just a good southern boy. Yeah yeah just trying to be a gentleman in the face of a date that's just mid it's fine. It's not going well and I'm just like yeah I think I'm gonna get two appetizers bro and then yeah and you know like this isn't it and he's like he's like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like to go like this is like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go like to go to go like to go like to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go like to go like to go like to go like I to go like I to go like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to go. I'm like like like the to go. I'm like like the to go. I'm like like like the the to go. I'm like like like like the to go. I'm like like like the the the the I'm gonna get two appetizers, bro. And then, yeah. And you know, like this isn't, and he's like, he's like, at a certain point, he's like, this isn't going good in it. He's like, no, he's like, you wanna order something for your mom? I was like, sure, and I called my mom, I'm like, hey, I'm at an apple bees, what do you want? And he goes, you can get a dessert too. And just a nice white man in the army,

it's taking me on a date. Because you also know, like that's the thing about when it's going poorly, unless someone is delusional, two people can feel it. You know? Yeah, but you'd be surprised a number of times I've been on date, which the guy really thought, hey, what did I just say about delusional?

I also don't understand, like some of my friends really want you to give somebody a chance. Like, well... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I'm sorry. So, I was going to go over to the stand. This is Halloween, right? I'm gonna go to the stand anyway. So I think the date was at like seven.

We got pizza. The date started with a church hug and anywhere and the thing was fucked up, we'd been talking about like thrown. Like theyxing, I was like, I'm gonna texting and stuff, and I'm gonna, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, and, the, the.... the. the. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. tog. t. tog. t. tried, tried, t. tog. t. tog. tog. to. to we've been sitting in shudder like playlist and stuff like that and all these other things, we talked on the phone and then I met him in person, I just went, nope, like as soon as I saw him I was like, I don't want to put my mouth on him, I'm with him.

And that's my gauge now want to put my mouth in this man. Yeah, no, I'm with him. What do I keep talking for? And so we're on the date. I don't remember the fuck he was talking about, but the whole time I was like, no. No. And then, he was asking what I was going to do. I was like, I was going to hand a spot at the stand too. And so I was like, right? And I was like, no.

He's like, but you're going to a comedy club. I said, I'm going to work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, I mean, but it's not like the same. I said, do you want me to sit next to you at a cubicle? Mm-hmm. Because that's what the fuck this is, I'm going to work. Yeah. After me having to go, no, he's like, well I can just come anyway. It's like, it's a comedy club.

I can go if I want to, and I was like, really? Yeah, it would very much be weird now. Because I just told you no. And now you're just like, well, it doesn't matter. I can go if I'm going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come, to come to come the the to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoomom, thoomoom, thoomoomanyanyanyanyoomanyoomany., thoomoomany. I want. I want thooomoomoomorrow. I want thoom, thoomorrow. I the the time and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go. Now, okay, I want to get a sense from you of why you so deeply disc light the day dates outside of the, because I feel like I've, I've acknowledged the brokeness that some people exhibit, but I've also given what I feel are very valid reasons to start with a day date. Because if you really like this person, it's going into the night. So I feel like I get the best of both worlds. I understand the...

This is a thing with the day date date. It's... The day date feels very much like... The day date seems like something you only do a day date. It's, the day date feels very much like, the day date seems like something you only do if you're not sure if you like somebody. Okay. Like if you know that you like somebody, just do a regular fucking date.

But if it's, hey, you wanna hang out tomorrow, then it's a date, then the day date make, because there are things you can do. during the day that you can't that you can't do that you can't do that you can't do th, th, th, th, the day th, the day th, the day th, th, the day th, the day th, th, the day th, the day, that, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, th, the day, the day, the day, th. the day, the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the day, the day, the day, the the to hang out tomorrow, then it's a day, then the day date make, because there are things you can do during the day that you can't do at night. You're right. But I feel like the day date is very much very tentative, very tet-to-t-t-t. I don't know how I feel. Very took to touch touch tut tut tut tut tet tet tet tet tets is a real word it it's you're not sure about the person so it's like I don't want to spend my nighttime hours with someone I'm not sure let me go ahead and see you at a 3 p.m. because like I like like a brunch situation because like I've had like gotten dinner with a guy

or like gotten coffee with a guy, and then it turned into us getting dinner. I see, I see. This is what I'll pitch you. And it's what I tell all my friends when they're when they're dating is that I've found the best dates, and this is regardless of what you choose to do. And once again, this is for everybody. I find that the best dates are things that you are going to do anyway that you want to

see if you enjoy someone else's company while doing, which is why I chose the day dates. Because to me it's like, okay, I've always wanted to try this place. I've always wanted to try this place I've always wanted to try this thing let me both try this thing and bring someone along that I think I might enjoy their company because I I also find that a lot of people a lot of people a lot of my friends get flaked on right and when you get flaked on and it's like, okay, I was gonna get dinner at this nice restaurant with this person and now they've canceled is a very different feeling than like, I've always wanted to try to try to axe throwing. So let me try axe throwing. And let me try axe throwing and let me do it with this person who I think is cool. And then they flake out. And they're, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll thr-I. I'll thr-I. thr-I. thr-I' thr-I' thr-I've thrown. thr-I' thr-a. I've thr-a. I've thr-a. I've thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeea''''''ea'eatea'ea'eatea'ea'eatea'ea'ea'a'a'a'a'a' their I think is cool. And then they flake out and it's like, all all right, look, maybe I'm going to axe throwing by myself now, but I've always wanted to try axe throwing. And it's a very different day now. And you also have the rest of the rest of, and you know, if I can speak to confidence and all time to recover if the thing does not go well.

And if you don't get the desired result. Whereas a nighttime date, it's like, now I just gotta go to bed, upset. Right, but if a day date doesn't go well, then it's the whole rest of my fucking day. It's not like, this didn't go well, let me go to bed. It's, oh, this date didn't go well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well, and th th th It's, oh this date didn't go well, and it's only 4.30. I see, we're saying the same thing, but we disagree on how it makes us feel. That makes sense, yeah, yeah.

Like, I understand like you were gonna go do something anyway. Like, I've gone to day dates where they've gone to like an aquarium, or a museum, or I've done these different things where it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. to, th. to, th. to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, I've done these different things where it's like like the whole going to the movies and going on a date thing I think is one I think one of my guy friends was saying to me like it doesn't he doesn't like to do it because you're sitting with somebody for two hours in the dark and you're not getting to know them at all you're just sitting with them in the dark watching I th you just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the their th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin is is is is thin is thin is thin is thin is thin is just just just just just just just just just just just thin. I'm not thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thin thin thi thin thin thin thi thin thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I thin. I thing. You just know they're able to be quiet. Right, you know they're going to be quiet, how they're going to react to a movie, and then you have, but then you have then have something to talk about at dinner because now we can sit about and like sit up and talk about and analyze the movie or film because I think films and movies are two totally different things. Uh-huh, and we can, hey, that's a different day. That's a different day.

That's a different day. We both agree. We know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. And it, Fast and the Furious is not a film. We're going to all relax.

We're going to relax. So, like I've th said, I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the're not the gender anybody, but especially if you're dealing with men, regardless of what your preference is if you're dealing with men, I think a good first date, especially if you're dealing with cis heterosexual men, I think an escape room is a great first date because I'm tell you, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you. I'm tell you, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you. I'll tell you. One, will he take directions from a woman? Okay.

Because some men won't. Yeah. Two, can he be collaborative? Can he be cooperative? Is he, does he only, is he a creative thinker? How does he work under pressure? Is he a leader? Is he a follower?

Is he motivating? Is he helpful? Is he helpful? Is he colorblind? Is he colorblind? Like there are all these things, because we've done an escape room in Miami together. And there's so many things that go on in escape room where you have to collect, like it's this idea of being able to cooperate with people you know

and strangers and people you don't know well, I think is a really good thing if you don't know somebody, because some people just get too, thi. I've thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, they, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thoooo, tho, tho, their, th.. they, the fuck down. I've seen that escape before. We're just like I don't get this and then they're just done. You're like, bro, we have 57 more minutes in here. Stand up, help. The reason I brought up the anxiety and the confidence and the nervousness and stuff like that for daydates versus like nighttime dates is that I think that there's a way that you can like free yourself up to your point about about like not being sure about a person or not, you know, I mean, like, like to your point about that.

I think, thoughthough it's a double ed sore because yes, that is how some people are gonna take it and that's how some people are gonna use it. But I also think that you're able to see someone potentially in their best light when they are not under the pressure of like, what people make nighttime dates out to be in their mind? I understand what you're saying but for me a date is a date Pressure like it's always Mm-hmm whether it's three p.m. or seven p.m. or nine p. I'm nervous. Okay. Whether the sun is up or it is taking its, you know, you know, the tumb

thau. that's thau. that's thau. thi, the thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th is th is thi. thi. thi. th is is th is th is th is th is th is the their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their s. tha-a. tha-a. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta.. You know what I mean? I understand. I understand what you mean. That makes sense because at least for a nighttime date. Because also there's stunts you can't put like it's like you can't ask somebody to meet at 7 p.m. for coffee. Yeah. There's certain things happen in the evening where it's like, okay, I expect, it's like dinner in this or dinner in that. But also I've I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I'm their their, I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I understand. I understand. I understand. I to. I understand. I understand. I'm to. I understand. I'm to. I understand. I understand. I'm the. I'm the. I th but also I've realized that like just going to dinner with somebody Doesn't give you enough Info Mm-hmm. It doesn't give you enough anything so I think like an activity in dinner

is I think the way to go. So if you do something earlier in the day, where it's like, let's meet at seven, go do this, and then get dinner after. Because there's not too much stuff you want to do after dinner, you know what I mean? Exactly. And I think that this is also important they'll offer up to the listeners just in case they are still coming at me the way you were coming at me at me at me at me at me at me at me at the to, to, to, to, to, to, to to the to the the to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their, their, their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, so, so, their, their, so, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, this is also important that I'll offer up to the listeners just in case they are still coming at me the way you were coming at me at the beginning if they still think that I'm broke or I'm bored. I also don't drink and so I think that a lot of nighttime activities they don't exclude me I'll go to a bar I'll hang out at a club. I've been a plenty of parties. I've been a plenty of the thinks I don't to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I they. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the way. I'm th. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I'm the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I the way. I'm the the they. I'm the the they. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the way. I the way. I'm the way. I the way. I the way like I also am of a mind of like let me, because I don't just I don't drink, I don't care if the person that I, you know, went on the

date with at the time drank, but I just feel like let me let me pick something for us that can be the most fun for both of us so that you can see me having fun, you can see what I'm like when I'm fun, as opposed to being at a bar. Because now that's the thing I've always worried about ever since I became of age to drink, was that since I've never drank before, I don't want to now seem like a weirdo. No, no. I just feel like it's not. It's not. It's like like like like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's not. It's not. It's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like like like like it's like like like like like like like like it's like like like it's like it's like like that it's like that. that. It's like like like that. that. that I'm like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. I. that. that. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that. I'm that. I'm. I'm. It seem like a weirdo. You've never even tasted alcohol? No, no. I just feel like it's not, it's not really for me, you know? It's not like even a judgment thing.

And that's, and that's the thing is, ever since I've been 21, I've literally been like, uh, oof. I don't want to be that guy that takes someone to a bar and then doesn't drink. That seems like a very odd guy. No, that is the creepy, that is the creepiest of mood. And that's why I've had to, that's why I've had to be like, we're going to dinner or we're going to go to this concert or we're going to, like, I literally have a to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go th.., literally have to lean on activities because I don't drink, right? Yeah, if you drink, it'll actually like make it a lot easier for you to be like, hey, you want to go grab a drink. So people like, if you, like for people who,

it's like going to get coffee later on in the day. Mm-hmm. It's like, hey, you want to go grab drinks. And then if the drinks are good. And that's where my coffee comes from. Right. And so the coffee thing, so it's like, okay, so it's too late. I don't want to meet it for. So then just go get drinks. And then you go get drinks. And then you go, I don't know, have sex, like you're the only two options I've enjoyed. I'll really offer up this as well for day dates. If somebody's crazy, it's broad daylight right now. That's the thing, but I also know, I'll say this, certain crazies only come out at night, right?

Like, date crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Date crazy, the sun has to be down. Okay. It's like when a where will, it's like date, yeah. Especially for me. Do you think they wouldn't tell on themselves though? If they went on, let's say you got them on three day dates. Let's say you got crazy after three daydates. I understand but I'm just saying for the sake of argument

Let's say you're like They just happen to shake out that way Honestly, it's I Thi I think it if you're gonna do a day date you have to show more effort Yeah, no a ton of effort goes into a good like this this thing that I was initially Let's go grab a coffee walk in the park the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th. th. th. th. that that that that. that. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their things. I things. I their things. I tho. I thou th. I th. I tel. I tel. I th. I they. I they. I they're they're they're they're they're. I no a ton of effort goes into a good like this this thing that I was initially let's go grab a coffee walk in the park boo. Yeah but that's the thing I was initially pushing back on because that's not what I meant by day dates you know I understand that that's in there and I

and I acknowledged immediately I was like hey I've been broke before I know what broke dudes do I understand that this is an aspect. But for me, as someone who doesn't drink, I would like, no, we're gonna do this thing. And it's, and it'll be fun. But it, and it happens to be, like, because I still call a day date, like five to me. But the problem is with five o'clock that is if you have a day date at five,

and it doesn't go well. Yeah. Then now it's interrupted your day and your evening. Yep. I mean, that is part of the risk you take though of like, go with a person. Also that's a time is very easily canceled like canceled on. Oh you're right you're right. That's true. For someone being late because it's yeah also 5 a p.m. is when people usually get off work to work. Yeah if you're having a day date during the week at five, maybe both of you either are working from home

or you don't have jobs or one has a job and one doesn't, one works from home and one has no job. Like, there is something to be said for a five o'clock, but I could do five o'clock dates back in Chicago, because working at Trader Joe's, I had very specific shifts, and so sometimes I got off it too, you know? And you also have to factor in both for you and the person that you're going on date with. Once again, this goes for everybody, right?

I think that especially on the basis of a first date, nobody can take it too personally that people are planning the date around their lives if that makes sense. So yes, I don't understand what someone would be upset because like one of my friends was like she has a date and she'll have a date and she always make sure she has a show. After the date. Yeah. Because if it's going like, hey man, I got a show. I got a show. I got to a show. Yeah. Because if it's going, hey man, I got to go, I got a show. I got a show. But sometimes it's, and I've done the I got a show and it's like, oh I can come and I'm

like, mm-mm. Yeah. Because I think even if a date goes well, because I also feel like sometimes when dates go well, people make the mistake of just like, because I had a date one time that lasted like 36 hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, I they, I they, and I they, and I they, and I they, and I they, and I they, and I the they, and I the they, and I they, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, the the the the they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thi, they's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm they's they, they, th. I'm they, I they, they, I had a date one time that lasted like 36 hours. Yeah, yeah. And then I never saw him again, which was fine because I didn't need to. I'll throw this out there then. Sorry, I just had a flashback to that. Go. I'm the fucking nervous of some people. You looked at the camera like you were seeing him.

Oh. Oh. I think sometimes we forget the dude to small dicks are just as horny as dudes. I feel like men with smaller penises are hornier than dudes with bigger penises. I don't think that's right at all. I think it is. No, I think that- But this is the thing, but this is the thing, dudes with a small dick want to show you their dick as much with a dude with it, just as much as a guy with the big dick. And they don't warn you, they don't say anything. Wait, what?

It's like, they know it's small. So why are you doing all this hemming and hawing, try to get me to look at it, when you know, I'm gonna be disappointed. I have no, I've no. This is so stupid. No, but I truly, I, okay, I don't have any like frame of reference for any of this. So like, I'm... Of course you don't, because you don't deal with men. I'm telling you. No, I understand, but that's why I'm saying, I'm like, the thing you said initially did not sound correct, but now we're dealing with other factors. What did I say? You are saying that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thu, I thu, I thu, I true, I true, I true, I true, I don't, I true, I don't, I don't true, I don't true, I don't true, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't true, I don't true, I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't true, I don't true, I don't true, I don't true, I don't true, I don't true, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't true, I don't t with other factors here. What did I say? What did I say? You were saying that dudes with small penises are hornier than dudes with big penises.

And I feel like the reason that I don't know if that's true is that to me, it's not about, because you just said it yourself, a person knows, right? So, I think a lot of people carry themselves like they know, and it th.. And it the vibe, and it thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, are, thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are are thi, are thi, are thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.eeean, thi.ean, thi. thii. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, right? So I think a lot of people carry themselves like they know and it gives off the vibe that they know which gives off the vibe to other people that like let me stay away. No, is that not true? No, because some do you know what they think like big dick energy. Mm-hmm. There are dudes with small dicks that are running around out here with big dick and like real big dick energy is a very is a completely It's not as

We all know it's a thing right? Okay, but it's not as flagrant Like if you see a very short man with too much confidence, he has a big dick we all know this. But one of the... You don't think it's just he might have money? No. Really? Oh, let me say something. A man with a big dick is an asshole.

A man that knows he has a big dick is an asshole. A man that knows he has a big dick he's an asshole they're always an asshole they it's like men with big dicks act like pretty girls okay I can get into anywhere you can't say anything to me I'm unstoppable but the problem is like one of the smallest dicks I've ever seen was on a man who was six three. And one of my friends was like, do you think it was small? It's, oh, I was, I liked him so much. And, and I don't even have time to tell you how funny acting this dude was with me, was with me before this.

But, and my friend was like, and my friend was like, do you think it was small because he's so tall? And I was like, I was like, what? She's like because of perspective. Do you think? Yeah, for scale. And I said no because my hand is always the same size. Oh my God. Look.

Listen. What I'm saying is, yeah, yeah. So you'll be on a day date with some small dick having man. Okay. Who's giving you big dick energy. I understand. Being extra flirty, extra horny. And then all of a sudden you are face to face with a dick you can suck and whistle Dixie at the same time and he should have never came out the house.

Now help me out though. This does not once again this is a this is an aspect of dating that doesn't actually it's not like his dick would be bigger at night he's not like a wear dick. No. But you just you've just attributed the small dickness to the day date. No. But it's gonna be small year round. Right. It's gonna be about it's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, till 15 in the morning. Can't stop, won't stop. What I'm saying is thatthat Being on a day date that goes well. Okay That then goes into an evening date. Okay That goes into y'all hanging out even more. Mm-hmm and then you're presented Not presented. Don't make it, Sally.

Like an Emmy. For your actions and efforts and service to your country. Uh-huh. You're rewarded. Mm-hmm. With nonsense. Okay. I'm just saying there should be a warning.

Because like I was doing this joke for a while and didn't ever actually, it didn't go the way I wanted to go, but I'm just like, we need some type of identifiers. I wasted so much time flirting with men whose dicks were innies instead of outies. And they need to be branded. They need to be br-stop wasting people's time. I need just, I don't care if it's fucking this fucking this fucking this fucking this fucking this fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking this fucking fucking fucking this fucking fucking fucking fucking this fucking fucking. They need to be stopped wasting people's time. I need just I don't care if it's dots I don't care if it's fucking Morris Code when these fuckers are 18. Okay let me let me let me stop you right there. Let me count these dots not not let me. Just for the sake of everything let me talk

over here let me talk over you for a second so you could have plausible liability that you lost in person. No, no. The brand, I'm tired. I know I understand. Hey, hey, it's a terrible thing to find out. Branding is a little far. Fine, tattooed.

No, no tattoing. Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no. I need a jewelry. You got to start guessing better. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, tatooing, tatooing, I'm. tatooing, I tatooing, I tatooing, I tatooing, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta, tatting. tatting. tatting. tatoo, tatoo, tatoo, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat,, no, no, no, no, no, no. I need a jewelry, they need to be, I don't get the earrings. No tattooing, okay. Tattoos, branding, earrings, something. Sounding good. Cuts in an eyebrow, okay?

Ha, look, just assume, I assume, something. Something, something. I don't care if their pinky nails are painted different colors. Stop wasting people's time. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. th. th. th. thatathing. tha. No. No. No. thathing. th. to. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I, I, I, I, I'm. No, I'm. No, I'm. No, I. No, I. I don't care if their pinky nails are painted different colors. Stop wasting people's time. Do something. Oh, Lord, oh man. Okay. I just need to, listen, it's, you know how big my titties are by looking at me?

Sure, but the, okay then. Now the thing is, I was out, because I can wear something make them look bigger,, I, I, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, them, them them th, them them them th, them them th, them th, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people their people thi people th and th and th and th and th and th and th and them them them thi people thi thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ti ti people ti people ti people ti people ti people's ti people's ti people's ti people's ti people ti people ti people ti people thi people then! Now the thing is I was... I could... Because I can wear something to make them perkier. I can wear a second to make them look bigger. Or I can make them look smaller, okay? I can wear spanks. I can lie to you all kinds of ways. Oh, makeup. Wigs. False. I can do all of the things. Right? I could also tell the truth. Okay. I can also tell... But tell... But tell... But tell... But tell... But I can also also also also also also also also also also also also also also th. I th. I can also th. I can also th. I can also th. I can also th. I can also th. I can also to to to to to to to their their their to make their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're the. I the. I the. I the. I can make make make make make make the. I look look look look their thi. I can make make make their their their their the. they're they're they're tell the truth. These men, these illusions, these gray skirt pants are not telling us what we think they need to be telling us. Okay, everybody's like, ooh, gray pants season, gray sweat pants season. No, why am I over here getting excited over a flash of dick? Y'all sound wild. So many men's are growers. We have got so far away from the actual quality of the date. I feel like now this is a separate thing. I'm what I'm saying is that if you are out here,

slinging, if you can't sling, if you can't sling, okay. If you can only present, you can only present, you can't sling, you can only present. What I'm saying is, you better take a bitch to dinner first. You better spend them coins. You have to. You have to spend money now. You have to spend money. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. Because you're going to disappoint me.

At least I wanted to have a nice dinner first. But you're telling me that a day-date of jet skiing is not fire. We can do a day-date of jet-skinn. And if your dickens stall it better be. No, you'll die. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They's-a-da'-da'-due. Because you can't jet ski at night. No, you'll die. That's what I'm saying. They're there are trade-offs here.

Yeah, you do it like later on in the day so you can get off the jet ski, have a nice dinner or something like that. A day date on the jet ski would be absolutely awesome. Thups with it because you know I love jet skis, okay? They're just water motorcycles. And so, and if you you've you you've they're they're they're all I'm saying. Because that's how I got my first jet ski, Caucasians. And so, what I'm saying is that if you are trying to figure out, hey, should I take this girl on jet skis or should I take her to the park? Look down. Look down.

But I feel like now, aren't you just letting the blessed get away with more? They already are. But I'm saying they already are is part of this logic, though. Yes. Are you good with that? No. Then the no park for anybody? Yes. Yes. Everybody should pick jet skis. I. But do you see how? Do you see how I'm helping your art? Like I was yes Okay, all right cool

If you have a chance to get on a jet ski get on a jet ski the fuck. Yeah, yeah, get on get on jet ski for real. Yeah, if you're near water if you're able to do a rental, you know, if you own a life jacket, then yeah, get on a jet ski. I just think you'll give you life jackets what I'm saying, what I'm saying is that I'm saying is that I'm, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm th, that I'm th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th're able to do a rental, you know, if you own a life jacket, then yeah, get on a Jetsky. And the Jetsky people give you life jackets. What I'm saying is that I just want us to be like a hundred, like listen, I prefer evening day because you know, a nice, it's it's nice to go out for the evening. Yeah, I'm perfectly fine with sitting in my house and a little bit. It's not you're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I the the they, I they, I'm a they, I'm a they, I'm a they, I'm a they, I'm a they, I'm a their, I'm a their, I'm a their, I'm a their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I, I their, I their, I their, I the the the their, I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm just just just just just, th. I'm just, th. I'm just, th. I'm just, th. I'm just, th. I'm just, th. I'm just, the the th. I'm just, the the th.m. going ugh, fuck. You know what I mean? If it's Saturday at 3 p.m. I don't give a shit. If it's Saturday at 8 p.m. I'm like, damn, I would wish I was on a date. But if I go on a day date, also a day date lets me know that you have another date lined up. Oh, no, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. I would that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I wouldn't that. I wouldn't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I wouldn't thi. I wouldn't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I wouldn't th. I wouldn't th. I wouldn't th. I wouldn't th. I th. I th. I th. I would th. I th. I would thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I would thi. I would thi. I would thi. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wouldn't thi. I wa. I wa. I wouldn't thi. I wouldn't thi. I wa and I'm not even saying that you have never, ever, ever been right. I'm saying, though, that I can only speak from the experiences that I've watched friends have and stuff like that. I think that sometimes there is,

it depends on when you meet the person, because we both know people who aren't actually players. Men and women. Oh, most people, I don't think that player, that, that, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that player, that, that, that player, that player, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi, I thi. I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I that, I that, that, I that, I can only only only only only only only that, I can only only only only thi.ea. I can only only only only thi. I can only only only thi. I can only only only thi. I can only I don't think most people are players. I think this whole, also I think that player idea, that player culture, player lifestyle thing, it's been detrimental to everybody. Yeah, it's not, it's not good for anybody. And I think only a few people can actually pull it off to where they have a date after their date and then, and they're going to also keep time and that, you know I I I I I I I I I I I I I their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. And they're they're they're they're they're they're going. And they're going they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they're gonna also keep time and that, you know what I mean? I think that with me, because once again I brought up the like not drinking and stuff like that, it's like I had to pick things that would be fun or interesting to do that had nothing

to do with that so that I wasn't that creep that was like, can I buy you a drink and I guess another one while I just talk? Yeah, because you can't do bars because if you buy me a drink and then you have water, I'm going to think that you drug my drink. Yeah, it's like I don't want to be anywhere near any of that like speculation, right? And so my thing as well is I find that regardless of when, and this actually kind of hurts my argument a little bit, but regardless of what time of day it is, the amount of work someone put into their idea is like paramount to me for how much they care, you know, because

there's also a deeply casual side to nighttime dates, which is Netflix and chilling. It's like hey I'm gonna bring over some food or like let me cook for you at my place. Yeah that whole let me cook for you shit yeah. Yeah. You can't cook for me. You can't cook for me until I have comfortably gone to your house and then left. Yeah. Yeah. Like that whole like a guy was like I want to cook for you in a first day and I said absolutely not. It's like why not I said I I I I I I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try try try try try try try try try to to try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to was like I want to cook for you in a first date I said absolutely not it's like why not I said I want to die on my own time Also truly are you a chef? Are you a chef? Because if you're a chef then come with it, you know, but if you're a chef then I will come to your restaurant. Okay, so my buddy did that that exact thing of he like, thin? th, th th th me, th me th me that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that that. that that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. to be. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. true. true. to. true. true. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I tru. I true. I true. I true. I true. I true. I true. I true. I true. true. true. true. true. true. true me cook for you whatever right and then he he cooked for her and then

Later on that night she was like oh, okay I had a great time. Thank you so much blah blah and and she was like. She robbed a hell out of him. She robbed she was she was the whole time he was cooking she was stealing. And he was like, I don't know how she got everything out of the, how, because she only had her purse. So he's like, unless she had another bag, I didn't see, not this much stuff should be missing, right? Wait, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, she came over, I cooked, and then like, we, they ate, and then like, they made, they like, didn't like fully hook up, right? They like, maybe made out on the couch, watch a little TV, whatever, and then she was like,

I had a great time, I have to go, right? But then he was like, they were like,, so many different things were missing from places that weren't next to each other. I was like, man, you got rob robbed. She must have had a bag she sat in the hallway. That's what I'm thinking, right? It had to be, it had to be, hey, let me get getting up when she went to the bathroom. Like, it's like, how big? It was, what is, what it's like, well, okay, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, so, so, so, okay, so she took, so she took some stuff that was like, oh, you might just be like a klepto, you know what I mean? Because she took some of the, like there was a nice, he had a nice soap, like a real nice soap,

like a real nice soap that you could just probably like twist the cap back down and put that in the purse, whatever. Yeah. And then she got a hold of some loose money, which is like, all right, you left the money out, you know what I mean? That's easy enough to steal. But then I think he said he had a game boy and he was like, I don't know when she would have got the game boy because it was like in his room on a bookshelf or something, but they didn't go in his room. So he's like, she must have just been in my room while my back was turned while I was cooking. The fuck was he making pasta? I don't know. I know he was making pasta. I know he was probably making pasta. But it's like, it's like that's so, I mean I didn't get the full list of everything that she took. But there were some something, I the full the full the full the full th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't the th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't the fu, I didn't th. I didn't the the the the the fu. I the fu. I the fu. I the fu. I the fu. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I the fu. I the fu. I the fu. I the fu. I the the the the the the the the the th. I th. th. th. the thu. thu thu the the tip. the the the the the the the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the fu. the fu. the fu. the the, but there were some, he was more tell me about the locations, because he was like, she stole something from the bathroom, she stole something from my bedroom, even though

we didn't like go, like, it's not like they like went to his bed, and you know what I mean? And then she also took something from the living room. And I was like, man, that's, the money is like, man,, is this meal? Right, I get back. Because the money is like, all right, look, there's $50 on the table. Not saying anybody should steal, but there's $50 on the table. Now you just made $50 from your meal. Most people have to pay for their food, right? But the soap and the game boy, and like, I don't know. But he said it was a lot thol thol tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, it was a tho, it was a lot tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi the tho, tho-a, but tho-a, but tho-a, but tho- tho-------------------------n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n't, th an an th an th an th an thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. tho''-a. thoa. thoa. thoa'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a'-a' was a lot of things. So she must have had a bag in the hallway. Like when he thought she was going to the bathroom,

she was going to the bathroom and making a stop at the hallway. And you know what I mean? Maybe her purse was bigger than he thought it was. That's what I think it has to be. It's like the bag in the hallway makes th is makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes makes lot of sense. But the bag in the hallway could also, you know, maybe get seen as trash, you know, I mean, like that to me seems like a deeper grift than just having a bag that is,

what you might call it. You know the bags that, I don't know purses, so I don't know what I'm talking about, but you know, you know those bags it becomes a bigger bag. Yeah, it's like an accordion bag. Yeah, yeah, maybe she had one of those. Oh my God, who was telling me they were going on this date? He was in Manhattan, he went to go meet some girl like, no, he was in Brooklyn, he went to go meet some girl like at the top of Harlem. Mm-hmm. So it took like two and a half-a-a-a-a- And she was like, don't eat today. I'm gonna make you dinner. Don't eat.

Don't eat. It's gonna be a huge dinner. Don't eat. Dada da da. She's supposed to make a lasagna. And she, not only is nothing prepped. Not only is nothing cool. She's still struggling with the package that the lasagna noodles come in. She hasn't even gone grocery shopping yet. Oh, oh, what an attack. Truly, she wants him to come shopping with her. She likes her men weak. That's what it is.

She was like, go ahead and starve yourself all day. All right, I'm going to see how you handle this long walk. That we take in this grocery store where we walk past all the food. So it's two hours on the train. I don't know where the fuck he was coming from what was two hours on the train. It sounds like a nightmare. I don't know if he was in the back of Brooklyn, the basement of Brooklyn, I don't know where the fauk he was, I don't know where he was the flook, hea, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm the the the the the they, I'm the they, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm the their, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin, I'm the the the took, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I'm the the the th th took two hours something changed from where he was to get to the top of Harlem. Mm-hmm. Talking on the phone and then at one point and then when he gets there she doesn't buzz

him in. He has to wait 30 minutes for her to let him in. Is she home? Yes. So she's not answering her phone either. She's not answering the phone. What reason did she give? She wasn't ready.

So she knew he was down there. Yeah. This is chaos. This is like absolutely unacceptable. So she knew he was down there waiting for half an hour at the door. While he'd already been on the train for two something hours to get there. And she told him not to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat. She to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat. He to eat. He to eat been on the train for two something hours to get there. And she told him not to eat. Yes.

This is terrorism. And then while they're going to get ready to go shopping, but she wants to get weed before they go shopping. I... So now they have to wait for the weed man. And so what does he sustain himself on water? Uh, I guess the hope of getting pussy probably, I don't know. That's not, like, that, what is worth all that?

Then? Then. So my name, there's still no food. They're hanging out. She just wants to hang out. She gets high, forgets that she's supposed to make this lasagna. So he's reminding her that we have to go to the store. To go get the stuff to make the lasagna. And now she doesn't want to make it. Because she's high. She makes herself something to go get the stuff to make the lasagna and now she doesn't want to make it. Because she's high. She makes herself something to eat. Like whatever she had in her house. Offers him none and then wants to fool around and he was like, how dare you? Did he sue? He should sue. I will get this man a lawyer and he should sue. He and then the whole is he said like and at one point like the dealer was just hanging out. Dealer hadn't left. The dealer had left at a certain point he was there for too long. That's great more for the for the suit. This is building the case. And I'm only tel you're sure people and I like I thought the thing is I know people listening to this. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. th. I th. I long. That's great. More for the suit. This is building the case.

And I've only tell people and I like, I thought, the thing is, I know people listening to this, they're thinking I'm making this up as I go along. Because when he was telling me this, I thought he was making it up as he went along. But he started getting upset retelling it and I was like like like like like like like like like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh no, this actually happened to him. Yeah. No, and, and, ooh, that's so unacceptable, but that's so. And then I was like, so what has it? Did you ever get the lasagna? And he was like, no.

That is so rude. And you know what, this is the thing that bothers me? Because this is the type of person who is so blissfully unaware that she probably is telling a story about this ungrateful dude who she introduced to her dealer. You know, it's like I introduced him to the plug and then he wanted to add to with me because I didn't make him dinner. I'm sorry it's not the 1950s. I don't have to make somebody. It's like, that sounds like the the the the the the th. That's like the th. That's like th. That's like the th. That's like th. That's like the th. That's like th. That's like the th. I th. I's like, I th. I th. I th. I was like, I was like, thi, thi. I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. This is thi. thi. This is thi. This is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. not the 1950s. I don't have to make somebody. It's like... That sounds like the type of person that would forget that they offer because they did forget

that they offered and then they'll forget again because clearly they smoke up so they're going to forget again and then when they forget the next time they're going to be like, who are you to think that I should just cook you something? What have you done for me lately? Because he said she reheated like some food or something. Like she heated up leftovers and tried to offer him some while she was in the middle of eating it. And he was like, no, I'm good. Now look, we're all adults here. Yes. He could have left a minute 25 of out time. I said this to him so many times.

Why didn't you leave when she didn't come to the door? Why didn't you leave when the dealer showed up? Why didn't you leave when food was coming? There was so many times when you could have left? He was like, I was just trying, I was like, fuck, you were trying to fuck. That's why you stayed. I understand, but also, there's something to be said for like, just because someone's willing to sit there,

doesn't mean that you can, this should all be illegal. Every aspect of this should be like. This is a thing about America, right? The American justice system. People will sue for a bunch of stuff. They'll try to get money, everything. We shouldn't be doing all that, right? We should be suing for what's right, okay? That man should sue her and he should be awarded a lasagna. That's all I want.

I just want the world to be a little bit more fair. That's all. But does she have to make it? 100%. She has to make two or throw what away. All right? Or give him both, that's restitution. Yeah, rest. Ooh. But this is the thing.

What if, this is what you never think about. What if it wasn't the to to make them. Yeah, but it was never her job to make it good. It was her job to make it because she said she'd make it. Okay. That's, I, if it's not good, I look, I completely, she may have got high and remembered she doesn't make good lasagna. That could also have been what happened. She may have been high and was like the last time I tried to make lasagna, I accidentally made cake.

Right. Yeah, I mean? So maybe she doesn't, but she should do what she said. That's so rude. And look, I'll even offer up this. That must have been a nighttime date because he was so, he was, it was a day date? Wow. He's hilarious.

What we're going to do now is kick over this to the listeners. You know, like, let us know your thoughts on day dates versus night dates. Remember, you can eat at both, you can do activities at both. It really is your presence. I will leave the listeners with this. Ladies. and both it really is your presence. I will leave the listeners with this. Ladies, FEMS, anyone living in their feminine energy? Stop paying for things.

Oh Lord. Stop. Stop. Oh, God. Okay. These men are worried that if we make as much money as them, we're not going to need them. So let them know we still need them. Because this is a thing, they still make more money than us. We still don't have income equality. Okay? So until the patriarchy, and I don't like you use that word because I'm not a 20-year-old white girl in college.

But until... society as a whole starts paying women ladies, fems, non-binaries, anyone living in their feminine idiosities until they start paying us the same you will not be paying for this too for 20 an apple bees don't do it. Don't fuck it. Don't buy your own drinks. And they're going to act like you owe them something because they bought you a white wine sprits. Say no, sir. I have $8. Oh gosh. Women did not, those women did not march for you to pay for nachos. They did it!

You think Gloria Steinem stood up? Then she burned bras and I've asked her about this and she said I could be a trophy wife. Gloria Stinem told me to my face that I could be a trophy wife. Because that's the thing. It's not about working, it's choosing whether you do or not. Okay? You want to be a stay-at-home mom? That's feminism. You want to run a fucking corporation? That's feminism. You want to run a fucking corporation? That's feminism! to stop it! I feel like the message is getting somewhat muddied.

No, no, no, no. This message is crystal clear, baby, girl. Play with me, nigger. We appreciate you listening. You got a vagina? Stop ban. We love that you listen. We hope you have as much fun listening as we do recording.

We are on the socials. We are out in the world. If you want want want want want want want want want want want to to to to to to to you want to see us, if you want to keep up with us, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy on Tick-Tock, Instagram and YouTube, and you can find Dool Say Sloan. You can find me. Feminist icon. So. I don't write books about me Josh.

You can find me not helping. Toll say slow. On all social media platform. At tool say slow on all social media platform. At tool say slow on how I'm so long gonna be. Yes, I'm not helping. But yeah, come find me. Have a great rest of the day.

Go on some great dates. We wish you the best dates coming up. Men! Pay for shit! Be a man. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.