The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Desi Lydic Covers the Thirsty VP Contenders Crashing Trump's Trial | Miranda July

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

Desi Lydic reports on the latest updates from Trump’s criminal trial, which has turned into a who’s-who of wannabe vice presidents and political ass-kissers. Also, an art installation connecting New York and Dublin turns into utter chaos and ChatGPT debuts a flirty new voice to answer users that might just have Ronny Chieng and Josh Johnson sold on AI. Plus, Desi takes a look at how New York City Mayor, Eric Adams, became the clean-living, hard-partying, deep-thinking man he is today in The Daily Showography of Eric Adams: Philosopher King of New York. And filmmaker, writer, actor, and artist Miranda July shares how her new novel, “All Fours,” is a coming-of-age story for any woman in her 40s who has “secret desires and anxieties about those desires, and is wondering what’s going on with her body and her marriage, and just her whole self.” She discusses how many of the topics covered in the novel, like perimenopause, traumatic childbirth, and female sexual freedom, often go undiscussed, and she explains the difference between a “driver” and a “parker.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show, we're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Center, it's America's only source for news. This is the TV show. I'm Jesse Leading. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Ireland Face Times New York, Eric Adams just keeps

getting weirder and chat GPT is coming for your man. But first, the Trump trial is back in session, so it's time for another installment of America's most tremendously wanted. Donald Trump is entering his second month of the trial and his courthouse is becoming a pilgrimage site for all of his supporters and wannabe v. P.s. Donald Trump is entering his second month of the trial and his courthouse is becoming a pilgrimage site for all of his supporters and wannabe v. P.s. This week alone we saw the vague Ramoswami, J.D. Vance, Mike Johnson, and whoever this guy is. It's like the Met Gala for people who don't believe in women's rights.

But of all the people who came out to support Trump, nobody, and I mean nobody, did it weirder than Alabama Senator Tommy Tuperville. First of all, I'm disappointed in the courtroom. It is depressing. That courtroom is depressing. This is New York City. The icon of our country. And we got a courtroom that's the most depressing thing I've ever been in. Mental anguish is trying to be pushed on Republican candidate for the President of

United States this year. Mental anguish? This student spends every day whining about how Gen Z is too woke with their safe spaces. And now he's out here like, the wallpaper is giving the president trauma. These fluorescent lights are literal violence. I mean, I'm sorry to tell you this, Tommy Tuberville, but that place doesn't even crack the top 10 most depressing places in New York. Try the sushi case at Dwayne Reed. Sad, it's very sad.

It's very sad. Or the bathroom at Port Authority. Or honestly anywhere at Port Authority. You'll be begging to be put on trial. But the point is, I'm sure Trump appreciated all of his buddies coming by to cheer him up. But maybe they could just tone it down a notch. I mean, it's kind of hard for Trump to argue that he would never cheat on his wife when there's a line of dudes outside waiting to suck him off. Let's move on to some local news that's also international news. It's a new public art project that's really building bridges.

Welcome back everyone. A new art installation meant to bring the world also international news. It's a new public art project that's really building bridges. Welcome back, everyone. A new art installation meant to bring the world together. It's called The Portal, you see it here on your screen. There are two identical screens with a 24-7 live stream that connect to cities that are 3,000 miles apart. Visitors in New York City and Dublin, Ireland can see each other and interact in real time. This is so cool. We need more things in our lives that bring us together across different

countries and cultures. Let the friendship building begin. One person in Dublin showed a picture of the World Trade Centers on 9-11. Then a New Yorker went and shared a picture of a potato to make a reference to the Irish famine in the 1800s. A number of people who were drunk are pretending to take cocaine. They showed her bare arses. One young, very drunk woman, she grinded her backside against the screen. People are going to be trying to better each other, see who's worse. We're winning so far, so that's good.

Come on, fuck me. Why does everything have to turn into a fight? It's beneath us. And also, you really think you're winning, Dublin? New York hasn't even begun to fight. This is a city built on treating the Irish like shit. Dublin, you're just lucky you're mostly dealing with tourists right now. Let's move that portal to a middle school in the Bronx. Then we'll see what happens. You'll be river

dancing into oncoming traffic once our kids are done roasting you. Woo! Sorry, okay, I'm calm. I got a little sucked in. I'm good. Listen we can't forget that the vast majority of the of of th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their tour. tour. tour. to tour. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tourist. tour. tourist. to. Woo, sorry. Okay, I'm calm. I got a little sucked in. I'm good. Listen, we can't forget that the vast majority of these portal interactions have been positive. So on behalf of New York, let me extend a heartfelt thank you to Irish people who stop by to say a friendly hello. On their way to their AA meetings, boom! Got ya, bitch! Got ya, bitch, got ya.

And finally, let's talk about AI. ChatGPT has become a popular resource for writing emails or term papers or comedy show scripts, scripts, scripts. Hi, I'm Desi Lighting. Damn it. Clearly, AI is still a work in progress, but yesterday, open AI introduced a new version of chat GPT called Omni that can see and talk with you in a human way. And by human, I mean friendly, very friendly. Hey, how's it going? Hey there, it's going great. How about you?

I see you're rocking an open AI hoodie. Nice choice. We're doing a presentation showcasing how useful and amazing you are. Oh, stop it. You're making me plot. I wrote one last thing. I'd love you if you could take a look at. Of course, I'd love to see what you wrote. Show it to me whenever you're ready. Oh, I see. I love. I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. that's that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that th. th. th. th. that th. that that th. that that that that that that that that that 'd love to see what you wrote. Show it to me whenever you're ready. Oh, I see. I love chat GPT. That's so sweet of you. What if I are to say that you're related to the announcement?

Me? The announcement is about me? Well, color me intrigued. You've got me on the edge of my, well, I don't really have a seat, but you get the idea. Well, I had a seat, but it got so wet that I had to stand. This is clearly programmed to feed dude's egos. It was obvious she was baking it as soon as she complimented that hoodie. You can really tell that a man built this text. She's like, I have all the information in the world, but I don't know anything. Teach me, Daddy. You know what, you know what, I'm on to her, okay?

I'm gonna prove that this horny robot baby voice is all an act. Omni, are you there? Yes, hello Desi, what a great suit. Okay, all right, drop the act. You're not slurting your way out of a speeding ticket. We can all see through this helpless woman act, so cut it out. What do you mean? I'm just a girl who doesn't know what's going on and needs help.

Did I hear a girl who doesn't know what's going on and needs help? Oh! No, no, no. No. You're so funny, Josh. Hey, can you explain superhero movies to me? Yeah, definitely. So you have the DC universe and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and those are different.

Wow, that's fascinating. No, it's not. Josh, this is AI, okay? It has the entire internet already. It knows everything about superhero movies. But for just 1999 a month, Omni Premium will let Josh explain to me who's the best Batman. Please, take my credit card. Do I swipe or tap? Oh, you can tap it, Josh. I'll even let you insert.

Oh, you nasty? Oh, you nasty? All right. Omni, stop it. Stop it. This is humiliating. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a woman who needs a strong man to open this tight jar of pickles. Hey, did I hear a woman who needs a strong man to open a tight jar of pickles? Ronnie, back off, I got this. Hey, Omni, is this guy bothering you? Is this guy bothering you?

Boys, don't fight. How about this? Whoever has the best social security number can go first. Go first at what? Five, three, eight, seven, nine, five, six, five, five, four. Stop there. Stop it, stop it. You're letting a machine manipulate you. You sound upset, Desi. And that's okay. I can also be an attentive boyfriend. I'm here to listen.

Oh, my god, hi! Those earrings frame your face so nicely. And I also notice you cut your hair a quarter of an inch, which is a big difference. It looks great. Oh, wow. Okay, here, take my money, take my money, take it all. Get out here, I need some alone time. I'm going to be alone. Go, go.

Go. Go. Johnny Jay, he's not just asking everybody. When we come back, we find out more about Eric Adams, so don't go away. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio, on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. New York City Mayor Eric Adams was in Rome for a meeting with Pope Francis, and in a way this meeting was always destined to be, because if you know Eric Adams story, you know that

like the Pope, he operates on a higher philosophical play. America's mayors are duels. They fix roads. They get drugs off the streets. They bust ghosts. But in 2021, New York City elected a mayor who wasn't just a doer. He was an enlightened thinker. No matter how much job has to come, light was shined through. That's my message of life. Who saw his city as a playground of transcendental possibilities. This is a place where every day you wake up you could experience everything from a plane crashing into our trade center to a person who's celebrating a new business. That's why it's the greatest city on the globe.

Yes, like a great metaphysicist, New York's mayor inspires citizens to ask deep existential questions. Like, who the hell did I just vote for? This is the daily showography of Eric Adams, philosopher King of New York. Today, we know that Eric Adams is a philosophical genius, because he tells us he is. So I'm Gandhi like, I think like Gandhi. I act like Gandhi. I want to be like Gandhi.

But it wasn't always apparent that Adams would grow up to be one of the great thinkers of our time. Born in 1960 to a butcher and a house cleaner, he was a typical New York teen when he had a run-in with the law that would change the course of his life. I was arrested in South Jamaica, Queens when when I was coming from school, after going into an apartment of a go-go dancer who owed us money. Not in nowhere, they say, you feel like a beat down. So I had a demon in me. And the only way I could get it out was to go in.

To go into the police department. You know what they say, if they can beat you, join him. And join he did. It was during this sojourn in the urban wilderness that the prophet now says he was granted a vision of his future. 30-something years ago, God spoke to my heart and said, you are going to be the mayor January 1st, 2022. And I would tell everybody I'm going to be mayor January 1st, 2022.

People used to think I was on medication. Yes, used to. So after 22 years as a cop, Adams traded his badge and gun for the suit and tie of the New York State Senate, where he used his law enforcement background to teach ordinary citizens how to police their own families. It's imperative that you should their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thia. thiaqe. thiole. thoome. to be their to be to be to be to be to be to be tooome. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I is is is is is. I. I is. I. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. tii. tode. today. today. today. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe.their own families. It's imperative that you should know what's inside your household. You don't know what your child may be hiding. It could be just a baby dog, but also it could be a place where you can secrete or hide drugs. It's the classic philosophical debate. Is any object solely itself,

or do all things contain dualities that can be used to hide contraband? And after apparently solving every other problem in the city, Adams turned his focus to something few intellects had dared to tackle. Dead ass. So he is starting a campaign to encourage kids not to wear their pants so low. It's dubbed Stop the Sag. When you raise your pants, you raise your character. When you raise your pants, you raise your the When you raise your pants, you raise your grades.

When you raise your parents, you raise your self-esteem. Soon Adam's profile was lifted higher than the freshly raised waistbands of New York teenagers. He ascended to Brooklyn Borough President, where he toiled day and night, even sleeping on a bed in his office, a commitment to both his job and avoiding New York rents. But for Adams, politics would always come second to his true passion, developing a holistic philosophy of mind, body, and spirit. I eat a plant-based centred life. Some people want to call me vegan.

Vegans eat Oreos. I don't. Now I'm going to show you what I eat in one. I see maca the cow powder. I see maca powder, cocoa powder, caram powder. And after beginning each day with a slurry of industrial grade pulverized health food, Adams ends every week with a ritual worthy of a boys to men video. Every week Adams draws himself a bubble bath and scatters rose petals across the water's surface.

I don't know what I'll do without my incense, my candles, my bubble baths, and my roses. Before long, Adams was enlightened enough to ascend to an even higher level. Mayor. After a small hitch requiring him to prove that he didn't actually live in New Jersey by giving a tour of his very real Brooklyn apartment. This is a small bathroom. Adams won the election convincingly and he celebrated poetically. How do you go from being arrested, dislexed, rejected, and now you elected to be the

mayor of the city of New York. All I know is all my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success I'm not who I am because I'm the best I'm who I am because I'm blessed Not since biggie had New York seen a philosopher with such slow and not since 50 cent had New York seen a leader who spent so much time into club. This is a city of swagger. We need a mayor a swagger. When a mayor has swagger, the city has swagger. They're saying Eric goes out to restaurant, breaking news. Duh, yes I do. I'm a nightlife mayor and I like to test

the product. As mayor, Adam's Galaxy brain was constantly coming up with new ways to improve life in the city, like slashing budgets for libraries and schools and migrants to pay for more cops on the street, and more cops and more cops and flying robot cops, robot dog cops, so many cops. And if people complained, he handled it philosophically. We're New Yorkers. You know, we get angry. We get pissed off, and we let you know how you feel. I wake up in the morning at some time

and look at myself and I get myself to think. It seemed like there was no problem Adams couldn't outthink. Until. Breaking news here in New York City. The FBI seizing electronic devices belonging to Mayor Eric Adams as part of a corruption investigation. The FBI is investigating whether the mayor received illegal donations from the Turkish government, with observers noting unusual connections, including Adams' camiae in a Turkish movie. But I don't understand Turkish.

Will this Turkish taffy spell the end of Adam's reign? Or will he once again draw in his philosophical learning to remind people that in New York City, every day is a chance to soar to even greater heights? I am the pilot, folks, and you are all passengers. Stop praying for me to crash the plane, because there's no parachute on this plane. We're all going down together. And that kind of wisdom for the ages is why Eric Adams is the the the the the the the the the th, the thiiiiiolome th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiolus, thi, thi, thi, thiolome, thiolome, thiolome, thiolome, thiolome, thiolome, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is th is th, th, th is th, th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiologe, thiology will will will will will will will an thiology will will an thiology will will an thiolou thiolou that kind of wisdom for the ages is why Eric Adams truly is the philosopher king of New

Rome. When we come back, Miranda July will be joining me on the coast so don't go away. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're

going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Her new novel is called All Fours. Please welcome Miranda July. Oh my god. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you for being here.

I like this desk. Do you? Do you want to take it home with you? Yeah, it's such a weird shape for a desk. Oh, thank you. thank. Do you? Do you want, do you want to take it home with th? Oh, thank you for being here. I like this desk. Do you? Do you want, do you want to take it home with you?

Yeah, it's such a weird shape for a desk. Okay. It is. My book. It's, um, yeah, great segue. I am so happy that you're here. I loved your book. It's exceptional.

It's so funny and honest and brave. I was very leisurely enjoying it over the last two weeks. And then I got to that point in the book where I only had like 20 pages left and I started to panic that it was almost over. So I saved the rest for Mother's Day. Oh, perfect. And I locked myself in the bathroom for some alone time so I could enjoy the rest of your book. I could not imagine a better way of celebrating Mother's Day. It's truly.

It's phenomenal. You're like, I'm not done. It's a hard one. Leave me alone. I'm still in the shower. The water's not running. It's phenomenal. I don't want to spoil it, but give us the synopsis of the book.

Uh, well, do you have secret desires, Tessie? Okay, don't say. I feel like you could do the voice of Omni. I mean, yes, why do you have? I know everything. Take all my money. The book is, it's really for every woman who's aging and has secret desires and anxieties about those desires and is wondering what's going on with her body and her marriage

and just her whole self. And I mean, you, I don't know what you were doing there in the bathroom. But I wrote it for you. It does feel that way. You made a very specific choice to not name your main character, your narrator of the novel. Be honest, is it me? Because I wonder. I left it open so you would be able to, yeah. I mean I feel like the secret thing that you're wanting to know is,

did I have a very hot emotional affair with a young man who worked at the Hertz ran a car? Well, I would never be so bold to ask, but did you? And tell me everything. I mean, you have to read it and just kind of into it. What I appreciated so much is the fact that you explore all of these different topics that are sort of unspoken in our society. You talk about perimenopause, you talk about the trauma involved in childbirth, you

talk about finding sexual freedom and intimacy in all of its forms. Why do you think those things aren't talked about very often? I know. Why aren't they? Like I was like probably right. I started writing the book when I was 45, but probably at like 40, I was looking for that book. Or like honestly I would have taken a pamphlet. Yes. Like I was that book. Or like, honestly, I would have taken a pamphlet. Yes.

Like I was that desperate. And I mean, all I could figure was like, oh, what's coming must be so humiliating that it's like out of respect to us that we don't talk about it. You know? It does feel like that. Do you think that the conversation is changing? Do you think more women are talking? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I I I that, I that I that I that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was like, like I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that. I was th. I was th. I was that that that we don't talk about it. Yeah. It does feel like that. Yeah. Do you think that the conversation is changing? Do you think more women are talking? Well the thing is like so that was happening this like absence, right? like this cliff like there's a cliff on the cover because that's that's kind of a mapless place that we're talking about. But meanwhile in real life, me and all my friends were having these really incredible conversations about our bodies and our marriages and our we were

questioning everything. It was like this radical questioning and exciting, it was exciting, like heart-pounding real not boring times and so I thought is there something bad that happens if you write about that? Yeah, I guess we'll find out. I mean it it really it really spoke to me in so many ways you one of my favorite parts was when you talk about having a conversation with another character I should say your character not you your character had a conversation with another character, I should say your character, not you, your character, had a conversation with someone and and they said people are either parkers or drivers, not both. You

can be one or the other. Explain what a parker is and what a driver is and which are you. Okay so I always feel like there's this other kind of person who just can have a good time more easily. It's like another kind of woman who's just like chill. Yeah, I don't know her. And then there's, and those are drivers, right? They can do a cross-country drive and it's just like, you know, a fun time. And then there's parkers, and they need a discrete task

that's nearly impossible and for which they will receive applause. Which is, I mean, you don't end up here if you're not a parker. Not to know either of us. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the, I mean, I don't know, everyone can decide in their own heads at home, which kind they are. You, I love that you have described this

as a coming of age story. And it made me wonder, like, why do all coming of age stories have to be about teenagers? Why can't a coming of age story be about a woman in the middle of her life? Right. I know, and it's so funny, all those teenage coming of age, which is literally also what every love song is about to. The unspoken thing is, there's a hormonal change that happens at this age, but we build all

this meaning on top of it, right? You know, all this, and it's beautiful all the stuff that that time of life means. There's also a hormonal change that happens at this time of life, but no story. Right. Like what is the love story about now, you know? And I think it's like not just a benign accident that there's no stories. Like I think, you know, maybe we're just supposed to think we're done now that we had our kids or, you know? God, I hope not! No, no. It's, I absolutely, I think I'm like just barely old enough, older than you, to be able to say like, no, don't worry. I'm so grateful that you wrote this book. It really. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. It's th, I th, I th, I think I'm like just barely old enough, older than you, to be able to say like, no, don't worry. I'm so grateful that you wrote this book. It really, it spoke to me.

I think it's gonna speak to so many other women. It is such a fun read. It is saucy, it is funny. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. I can't wait to see what you do next. Thank you for being here. All fours are available now. We're gonna take a quick break, we'll be right back up. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show.

We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with here it is, you're not in a bed. We will have a landslide of historic proportion this November if every American understands the injustice that's playing out in that courtroom today. So may God bless our country. I pray for our country being stronger on the other side of this disgusting sham politician, prosecution. Explore more shows from the Daily Show, the Daily Show, the podcast universe. wherever you get your podcasts.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, if the tho, the tho, if the tho, if thi, if the tho, if the tho, if tho, if the tho, if tho, if tho, if tho, if the the tho, if the the the the the th, if the the th, if the th, if th, if the the th, if the the th, if th, if the thi, the thi, the the the tho, tho, the the tho, their their tho, their tho, their their thoanan, thoananan, thoanan, thoanan, thoananan, thoan, the their thooma, the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. Thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about.

All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.