The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Early Birds vs. Night Owls - Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

“When you wake up at those early hours.. that's the billionaire millionaire type lifestyle right there. Where you just have so much done while other people are still waking up.” - Josh Johnson“Our early birds have given us function, but our night owls are giving us design and fun.” - Dulcé SloanIt’s early birds vs. night owls this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.  Hold Up is a podcast from The Daily Show. Check out more episodes wherever you get your podcasts or YouTube.com/TheDailyShowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, it's Josh Johnson. You're listening to Holdup. It's a podcast where me and my friend and Daily Show correspondent, Dose Sloan, we debate the real pressing issues of the world. You know, body wash versus bar soap, chicken soup versus tomato soup, grills versus chains. You get it. All right. Have a listen, and if you like what you hear, find the full series of Holdup with new episodes every Thursday, wherever you get.. to hold up. to hold up. to hold up. to hold up. It to hold up. It to to the podcast. It to to the podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. G. It's a podcast. G. G. It's a podcast. G. It's a podcast. G right. Have a listen, and if you like what you hear, find the full series of Hold Up with new episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcast. This is a podcast called Hold Up. This is a podcast called Hold up.

I'm Josh Johnson. I'm your co-hosts joined by my other co-host. Don't say slum! color hose joined by my other color hose. Dulce lawn! Brah! Brah! Cacah! Cacah! And today. That was a lot of artillery. I get it, I get it. Yeah, that was more shots let off than like a military funeral.

That was wow. Because I couldn't bring my bagpipes. Also, I just enjoy it. I just enjoy a tongue roll. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. No, just let these men know that I'm a good time. And today's argument came from a review left on Apple podcast. You can be leaving can be hitting us up on the Apple

podcast you can be leaving comments on the videos on YouTube and on the post on all social and today we're doing early birds versus night house. Bro! Okay so do you'll say let the people know. What is, what is your stance? Where do you, where are you coming at me from today? You know your girl is one of these nocturnal birds, baby boy? Out here, beating a night owl, you know, a bird out here or in a night torn. My mom called me a night owl. She told me when I was, because she just be like, like, like, like, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, here on a night to'n, my mom called me a night owl. She told me when I was, because they'd just be like, I always missed like a bunch of the Saturday morning cartoons. Because my brother would be up at like eight, like on it, and I'm like waking up at 11 and going like, are there any left? Did I miss them all? Yes, yes I did. I never knew than that. Are there any left? Is there any there any there any there any there there the the the the the the the the the the th? Is the th. Is the th. Is th. Is the th. Is th. Is the the th. Is the the the th. Is the the the th. th. th. th. thi? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi thi thi their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their I did. I never knew what than that.

Are there any left? Is there any animated series for your girl to watch? Yeah, because my mom told me I was nine years old that I needed to have a job where I worked at night. Yeah. Because I was never, I've never been a morning person. I've never been a daytime person. Like I was working on a project and I try to do it at like 3 p.m. and I just

couldn't get at like, okay, it's 11. I'm gonna start doing this. I started that at 11 p.m. on on Sunday, 12 p.m. on Sunday ended at like 6 a.m. which is later than I wanted to do it, but like that's when my brain be like popping. So the times that my brain I think works the best is the night time. The night time is the right time. Anyway, so yeah, I'm a night hour. I'm out here on new screets. Like I don't ever want to wake up like my last day job. I had to be at work at my desk sitting down at 7 a.m. To sell stucco in two languages. Everything was hard. Yeah. Because if I'm, if I see 7 a.m. I want to be going to bed.

Like, I don't ever need to be anywhere at 8 o'clock in the morning. Never, never. I'm a smooth, like let me wake up at 10. I don't ever need to be anywhere at 8 o'clock in the morning. Never, never. Never. I'm a smooth, like, let me wake up at 10. Woo, I get you 9.30. But waking up at 4 day in the morning, I'm like, bro. Yeah.

I don't like it. Because you strike me as, you know, the early bird, get the worm my thing. I I've been known throughout my life to have the night owl Fives I can't act like I always walk the path to straighten there up But an early bird lifestyle is all I'm saying early bird lifestyle is better. What's an early bird lifestyle? When you wake up at those early hours and you get your food in, you have your breakfast, you work out, that's the billionaire type lifestyle right there where you just, you just have so much done

while other people are still waking up, it's hard to be. Like I've lived night out, right? So I've had to work nights before. So when I worked at Trader Joe's, I did both at certain points. So there was one point where I was a full-on like nights. I only did nights and it would be, I was short to work at 6 p.m. and I would get off my shift at 1 a.m. Like that's how like, you know, nights were talking.

Yeah, I'm like. And so I've had that thing, but then I've also had the thing, doing comedy this whole time, by the way. So then I've had that thing where I was like six to once or obviously I could do shows those nights. Yeah.

But then you try to write comedy wise. And then I've had the thing of early mornings. Like I remember I used to do 4 a.m.s. So I would do 4 a.m. to noon. And that was really hard. That was like, that was some of the hardest. That's not even, I don't even, because I had a friend who had a shift like, and you can't do anything. You gotta go to bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed the bed the the th at bed th at bed at th at the at the at the at the a the at thirty the a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty. thirty. thirty. thi. th. thi. th. that. that. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thi. thea. thea. to. to. to. to. to. t t t t t t toooooooooooooooooooo. can't do anything you gotta go to bed at like 730. Yeah, so then I was doing shows at night and then I had to you know get up and go do the 4 a.m. right?

And the thing that ends up happening with that is that if I had a show the night before I was ruined, but on those rare nights where I didn't have a show, I wrote jokes that day, so I was letting myself off a hook, and I went to bed at like even just ten, even if I went to bed at ten, which is still too late for a four-am shift, right? Right. I'm going to bed at ten, starting my day, getting up, going up, going to work at four-ym. So I've made all the money I need to make by noon. And now the rest of the day is great because let's say I had an early shift at the next day off. Oof, I was living. It felt like I had two days off. Because if I don't have to worry about going to bed early again, starting my day off early was probably one of the best.

It, it, I came and compared, like when you compare the two to to to to to to to to to to to to to to day to to to day to day to to the the to the the the to day the the the the the the the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day is great the day is great the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the best. It, I came to compare. Like when you compare the two to productivity, there's like no comparison almost. Right, but if you're thinking about it, there's only so many hours, there's only 24 hours in a day, right? Yeah. Yeah. No matter where are you, because like, I had a job where I was, um, records, like basically like, you know, basically editing and fixing medical records for Gwinnett County. I like how for a second it sounds like you were forging medical records because you're like, you know, I used to clean up medical records, you know, somebody, be their insurance act right, I would.

Now I can't say I haven't had a job where somebody used to come in with pay stubs. I'm not going to say that, I.. I'm that, I'm th. I'm to say. I'm to say. I'm th. I'm to say, I'm to say, I'm to say, I'm to say, I'm thi. I'm to say thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, their, their, their, their fixing, their, fix, their, fix, fix, fix, fix, fix, their, their, their their their, their their their, their, their, their, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm to thi. thi. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to act right, I would. Now I can't say I haven't had a job where somebody used to come in with pay stubs. I'm not going to say that job. I'm not going to say that I didn't work in a car a lot and for people who like, like, you say you work as a barber or like a hairdresser, you don't get a regular paycheck. So if you're trying to get an auto loan, you have, it's very hard to prove your income, right? So we had a guy, so my boss had a guy he would call and that guy would create pay stubs. He's like, okay, so how much are you saying, how much are you saying, how much are you making a hour? How did he had a watermark, whole nine? So I mean, it was very good at it. And then I was like, he worked in, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, and I was just like, wait, wait, wait. You doing this and crime?

Yeah. I was like, he worked on, I think the other job he had, like he was like working for like Comcast or some shit. And I was like, honestly, Comcast is trash. So like, I really hope that that forgery business really picked up. But um, my thing, yeah, when you are the the the hustle that's legitimate, you might as well not do that crime. Right, or is the crime supplementing? Like I used to date this guy who sold weed, but he also worked at an eye-grap?

I was just about to say, yeah, if you sell any sort of drugs and you still have to worry about being late anywhere, yeah. You need to pick another lifestyle. Like you're clearly not good selling drugs. Which is- You don't have the clientele. It's a thing you need to leave behind. Anyway, I'm saying is, I had a job so,

I worked, when I worked for Burnett County, I worked three to 11. Yeah. It was the worst shift. I hadn't started doing stand-up yet, but they probably just started doing stand-up until like four years later, but three to 11 you can't do anything. Because like most of the restaurants, this is like 2005, 2006, yeah, 2005. So most restaurants by 11 o'clock are closed. Like sit-down restaurants are closed.

But you go to work too early to go get lunch with anybody. You can't really get, so it was the sweet spot of not being able to do jack shit. And then, you know, when any of you meet somebody, like, well, you can never go on a date She was like I was gonna date on Tuesday. I get off work at 11 o'clock at night Can you can't even go to the movies? So I mean you work three to 11s pretty much got get right to it Right like we don't have sex at it right into it. We either got to have sexy times or we gonna be on the phone because it was. And the guy I was engaged to.

Mm-hmm. So many moons ago. He was my co-worker at this fucking job. So he got it. He got it. I mean, I didn't marry him, so he didn't get it. No, I'm saying he got it as in he got your situation. Right.

I had a moment when you mentioned diners where I realized that for early birds, there's a type and a level of breakfast, maybe even brunch, that early birds are getting that night hours will never know because they're asleep. You know, a lot of breakfast places are like close to two. No, no, no, no, no, night hours are a wait by brunch. Some of them. Now, I know a lot of people, like if you work in like the food industry and you're getting off at four in the morning. Mm-hmm. Like I was working at a job where I was working in like a server at a pool hall. I've had a lot of jobs, Josh.

Yeah, you said it like, you said pool hall, like you weren't sure if they played pool. Well, I was trying to- Because there was a whole bunch of other stuff in there. So it was also like video game, like a very low budget Dave and Busters. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. that, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. other stuff in there. So it was also like video game, like think of like a very low budget Dave and Busters. Okay. Like we were getting paid, like, you know how servers are supposed to get paid

a different minimum wage? Yeah. We were getting paid regular minimum wage. And I think it's because they were in that and they weren't supposed to. And also they weren't like like calculating our tips. They weren't taking the they weren't really they weren't really great at paying taxes. It was a shady-ass job. I ended up getting like a I ended up getting real sick because they were smoking inside without the proper financial but you know being a server you're getting off three or four in the morning. A lot of times. A lot. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not. they weren't they weren't they weren't they weren't. They were. They were. They were they weren't. They were they weren't, they were they were. they were they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. They were. They were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they go to bed until six or seven. Yeah.

She's not going to bed till seven in the morning. Yeah, you're gonna miss brunch. But if you're a night owl, because like I worked day jobs the whole time. And then it was still a night owl, so I was still going to bed at like, like I just got a bed at one. Like even during lockdown, I was still going to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at the to bed at to bed at to bed at to bed at two the two to bed at one. Like even during lockdown I was still going to bed at two in the morning. Yeah. Because like I try to go to bed at 11, I try it. But when you

go to bed at 11, you wake up at like 7 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck am I awake for? There's nothing going on. Because it's like, if you go to bed at 11 and you wake up at 7 and you're working from home you didn't have a place to go in the first place. Okay but hear me out here. All right. This is this is where I feel like we're gonna finally really clash. So the thing with waking up at those times it's not about stuff going on it's about you going on it's about you getting up getting those times. It's not about stuff going on, it's about you going on. It's about you getting up, getting the stuff checked off your list. That's just all you. You ever wonder who that person is where you start your day, whether you start your day at 9, 10, whenever, and there's already an email in your inbox. That's, that's an early bird. That's somebody who's like, let me go ahead and set the world in motion. All right?

Early birds have some options that I just personally don't feel like I had when I was like a full-on night out. Like what? Like one, they're in a real study about this. You have more willpower and bear a decision-making in the earlier part of the day. After you've already been up for quite a while, it starts to diminish where you're like, oh, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, I just, I just, I th, in the earlier part of the day? After you've already been up for quite a while, it starts to diminish where you're like, oh, I guess I could do that, but I don't know. I probably just won't. You know what I mean?

That's a late in the day decision. And what happens with a lot of night hours is that some night hours are very responsible with their sleep, so that the most aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren'tthat the most aren't. Most are like, I'm gonna wake up at a normal hour if I'm to stay up all night because that's why I get stuff done. So I get that. I've been that person, but I'm telling you with early birds, there's just a different way that they move. It's just a bit more productive to a day, you know. I kind of feel like this is propaganda. Only because.

Only because it's like one thing that people love to do is they feel like, oh, the only reason I'm not a millionaire is because, because that's why people have whole classes on like, people get rich telling you how to get rich. Yeah, of course. So I think this early bird propaganda came from the fact that we are, we started as, I mean as most of the world did, as an agricultural society.

That's what school was based off of, that was all that, because you needed your children to help you harvest. But now we got big ass cities. These kids need to be at school. One. Two, because there's so many, there's only so many hours in a day, right? Because I've gotten up at 7 a.m. and thought I was gonna be productive, and guess what? I just laid there and didn't do shit till 10 a tm. A. thiii. It's thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, too. too, their. too, to, to, their. their. their. their. their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. t. t. t. toda. t. t. t. t. there. t. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there, that's the thing. It's not about putting yourself through hell.

I think that's what a lot of the scam artists are teaching. They're being like, you just gotta grind, and as you grind, you'll feel yourself grinding. And then when you're all ground up, you're gonna turn to money. And there's gonna be pennies everywhere, and everybody gonna be looking at the money dropping up out of your pockets because it's overflowing because you've been grinding too long. Like that thing is insane. Those people suck. Those people suck. I'm saying I'm only talking about people who

are legitimate in this way. I know people who legitimately their biological crop wakes them up at about seven and then they're up up. They can't, they can't go back to sleep. And they get very tired around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thiii's thii's thiii's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. up up. They can't go back to sleep. And they get very tired around 11. They get very tired around 10. Like there's just people who I know like that. They would. Yeah, so I'm talking about people who are naturally like that. I'm not telling people to do this thing. I wish I was. I'd be making more money in my life. If I they they they they they they they they stop stop stop I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they they they they they they they're they're right? Why can't you just wake up? Thank guys Monday. Have an extra Monday. Make every day Monday.

Make every day Monday, all right? Just put seven Mondays in your calendar until you can work your ass all hard enough to where you love Monday so much you marry Monday. All right. And so then you just banging Monday, you have a bunch of Monday babies. Okay? That's all you do. You wake up, it's Monday. All right? You know, people who don't like Monday, guess what they are? Mundane, okay?

You know like when they try to drop knowledge on you, and it's like a thing that rhymes or a thing that's like wordplay? I can just see the person sitting there, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like wordplay. I can just see the person sitting in the, like just this person sitting there, just taking so many notes. Yeah, taking so many notes, it's like, okay, Mary Monday, maybe, yeah, and then my student loans will have to leave me alone.

Girl, girl, people should be shot on, by firing squad. Those people should be shot with the broken dreams and promises they have thing thing then then then then then then then then the just just just th the just the the just the the just the just the just the just the just the just tho thoes thoes thoes thi, thi. just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just th. Just th. Just just th. Just just th. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just tho just tho just tho just tho just thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. that, that, that,. Those people should be shot with the broken dreams and promises they have sold people Not but just like load them into a bullet Mm-hmm. Let people write in on a piece of paper They take that paper they burn it. They take those ashes and put them in a bullet and then shoot these motherfuckers because these are the worst humans because they are literally Feeding off of people's dreams. Can I ask you though why do you hate hustling? All right?

Why do you hate the hustle? Why do you hate? All right? Why do you hate? I can't hate the hustle. I have seven fucking jobs. You got to hustle to you can't breathe and when you start trying to breathe? But you have to breathe to live the hustle the hustle the hustle the hustle the hustle the hustle the hustle. I I I the hustle. I the hustle. I the hustle. I the hustle. I the hustle. I the hustle. I have the hustle. I have the hustle. I have the hustle. I have to thu. I have to to to to to to thu. I have thus. I have to to to to to to to to thus. I have to thus. I have thus. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have. I have. I I I I I I I I I have. I I I I I have. I I I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thateateathea. thathea. I have th. till you can't breathe. And when you start trying to breathe, you gotta be like, stop trying to breathe. But you have to breathe to live, Josh.

Stop, no, no, that's what the week tell you. They tell you you need air, they tell you need water. They tell you need shelter. They tell you need that's a week. And you not weak, okay? You're not weak. You're not weak. You're the one, so you get one day.

One day. Monday. All right. Where is our book, Josh? I know, right. It would be hilarious. we stop to a comment It's just us it's just us back to bed all the shirt On the book is just us back to back just like switching sides every now and again and it's just hustle harder. All right?

Grind time, okay? Shoot. What that's why y'all hate waking up early because y'all hate waking up. Y'all hate the sun. Right. Y'all hate the shining light that lights the day that you need to grind under. Okay? You want to hit snooze because you're a loser, because you're a loser. Just anything that rocks will always get. It's awful.

And then they get that chishinoe music under it, they get that like... Oh, I want to fight those dudes. I would have fight those dudes because they are worse than the people that sell like Tahitianoni or all those other bullshit things. Like, I that bitch you would sell them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their their their thom they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll always always always always tho. It's they'll thoes. It's they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll tha. I like remember every couple years a new pyramid scheme will come out like that bitch who would sell them leggings like every couple years yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna yeah yeah right or the other the girl trying to sell the machine with the blood a little one drop of blood see that you don't give a Elizabeth Hall's out here first of all she stared too hard all all right? Like she's, she's in the picture.

See, and I never, but like, just watching stuff like that, like I, because everyone's like, you have to watch it, so many have to watch this, and I was like, no, because it's gonna make me mad. Because I know we, no one who's not a white person could have scam these people like this. You see what I'm saying? I was talking to this man on Bumble. Cute Middle Eastern dude, a little older, very much a Zaddy situation. He was talking to me on the phone one night, but I'm like, why are you talking so quiet?

And he's like, well, he's like, well, listen, I want you to, he's like, look up something. And I was like, what? He was like, just full disclosure. Hold on. Oh, okay. He said, full disclosure. I'm going to send you, so I'm going to text you, um, because he called me and the name that came up was a woman's name. And I know a lot of people are on family plans, right? But also, you know who are on a family plan with? Your wife! So I was like, okay, who is this woman's name? First of all, just because I had nothing better to do.

Could I have stopped talking to him? Yes. But why? I was out here just for general investigation. I was like, th this woman's name you called me from your mother? And he was like, yes. I was like, okay? He was like, so, he's like, yeah, just full disclosure. It's not going to the second time we talk. It's like, full disclosure. He's like, I want to text you this website.

I open up the link to Le Website. the website. And it is an article is an article is an article the article the article the article is an article thic article thic article thic article thic article thic article thic article thic article thic article thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, the to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I tolde got arrested for a Ponzi scheme. True millions of dollars, Ponzi scheme. And he's like, the reason, he's like, yeah, and I was like, so he's like, so I'm talking all quiet because I'm not supposed to have a cell phone because I'm in a halfway house. And I was like, what? That's so busy. Okay.

What are things I love? On top of dudes, because I actually do as much as they annoy me, I do love those grind-time dudes just because the whole thing is very funny. Like if you, if you're taking advantage of people, they're the worst. No, but if you're watching it and you're not tricked by it, the whole speech becomes very funny. The speech is funny, but yeah, it's very funny if you're a person who's successful. But they're taking it, they're sneaking with them.

They aren't the devil. You know what I mean? But I will say second to them are guys like this that that c cracked that c cracked that c cracked that's that's that's that's that's th. their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I the they. Yeah, I they. Yeah, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahg me up because it'll be like, bro, we try to date someone. The person will ask them a very normal question, right? And this guy that you're talking about was more up front with you than usually. Most guys, period. Because then, normally if you ask a guy like, hey, why are you being so quiet? You can't turn your volume up? You can't just turn your volume up on your, see, you maybe raise my voice,

you can't just turn the volume up on your phone? Right. You know what I'm gonna ask you any questions? And I'm out of the way. I'm very suspicious. It's like, I'm, because I'm, listen, why do we always have to meet up in my place? Why are you guys asking any questions? I'm very suspicious. It's like, I'm, listen, I'm 39. I don't trust any of these fuckers.

And I'm very suspicious, I ask a lot of questions. So when I'm out here being a night owl in these streets, uh-huh. And I'm trying to meet me some of these mens-a-in'-in, thins, thins, thins, thins, thu, I, I, I, I, I, thi, I, I, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. thi, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm intimidated by me as a human being, which I'm so glad I saw this thing on Instagram one time and this woman said, I'm not intimidating, you're intimidated. Because if I think about the number of times, like, just because I'm a black person that I have been followed through a store, right? It wasn't because I was a thief. It wasn't because you perceived, you thought that I was a thief, you thief, you thief, you thiheat, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi, thi, thi, you're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thiiiii. thiiiiii. thi. thiiii. I'm not, thi. I'm not, thi, thi, thief because I'm black. That had nothing to do with me. I'm not a fucking thief, but you followed me through the store because of your thoughts and feelings about how I look. People always talk about the angry black woman, but no one's asking why we're mad.

Why does black lady is upset? What happened? No one's asking that. You just want to fucking villainize me. So because I feel like if someone asked the answer would just be a history book fallen out of the sky. Yes! Like boom and like with just a cloud of smoke like everything just all here here. The history of women the history of black, the history of black, says the history of people African descent and then the history of a human being with two X chromosomes and titties, combine those to get these fold them together like playing cards. So I'm fucking mad, bro.

But in reference to the topic in hand, because you know we had a few tande today. What I do want to say is, I think that we need both sets of humans. We need our early birds. We need our night owls, right? Yeah. Our early birds has given us function. But our night owls are giving us design and fun. You see what I'm saying?

Yeah, like function and flavor. You need both humans. But I think we kind of have to stop. It's all because of that fucking work ethic that, th, we, we, we, we, we, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, we, we, we, we, we, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, th Yeah, function and flavor. You need both humans, but I think we kind of have to stop. It's all because of that fucking work ethic that Americans are like instilled with. Like that old school, just pure to work ethic, I mean, just like, kill yourself. Yeah, why you made work, why you hate grinding?

Don't say, I'm surprised at you. Hey, do you know what the work, you thap work, thic work, thic work, thic work, thick, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, thi, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, fu, th, fu, fu, fu, fu, fu, fu, fu, fu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that you, that you would, hey, do you know, do you know what the work, it work, ethic, do you know what the, you know what the thick and ethic is for, huh? It's for getting that hard, that thick, that in-movable force, you just, you just turning it up like just life butter, and you just stirring it around, trying to get it as thick as possible, so nothing can ever break you thi thi thick, thick, thi thick, thick, thi.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thi. thi. thick, you thick, you thi, you thi, you thick, you thick, you thick, you thi, you thi,rying to get it as thick as possible so nothing can ever break you because you thick, you thick, right? So then you take that thickness and then life tries to be like, let me loosen you up. That's not going to happen, life. All right? I'm telling you right now. I wake up, I wake up, at 4 a.m. I work until 12 a.m. I take one break to bite a piece of a burger and then I go back to work. I don't even finish that burger because nobody got time to eat. All right? Remember that one time? Don't you remember that one time?

Beyonce said she was so busy she forgot she didn't eat. You got to be like that. You got to forget. You just got gotta waste away. Okay, until everything's done. And then when everything's done, when your inbox is fully empty, you can look around and be like, yeah. But I mean, nobody will be able to be there because you'll be dead, you were talking to like the ether. But you've done so much stuff. All that stuff you did, nobody'll be able to take that stuff away. That stuff lasts last the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. But tha. But tha tha. But tha tha. But tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. that's that's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that that that. that. that's that's that's that's tha. that's tha. thia. thia. thia. thia. ta. toooooooooooooooooea. ta. togea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that, nobody will be able to take that stuff away. That stuff lasts forever. I think this can be called toxic motivation. We'll do toxic motivation. I'll sit people down. I'll let them know why their life is messed up. All right, why their relationships suck. Why they suck. Okay? Because all you need, if you get a little bit, this is a thing, this is a problem with this generation of people, all right, is that what's

now being called toxic motivation used to just be called tough love. Okay? All right, y'all remember tough love. Y'all remember what somebody would sit you down, be like, hey, bro, you suck. And then you just have to be like, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this, this, this, this, this, this, this is this, this, this, this, this, this is this, this is this, this, this, this is this, this is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi remember tough love. Y'all remember what somebody would sit you down, be like, hey, bro, you suck. And then you just have to be like, damn, I suck. And now, nowadays, when you sit somebody down, be like, hey, I know you're working two jobs, and you're underpaying so you can pay off student loans that you work real hard to,

because you try to provide an opportunity opportunity opportunity opportunity now the system that you bought into is actually only undercutting you and pressing you down more to press you horribly. But also you suck. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know, we need more people to be doing that. That's what we mean in life. All right? Let me tell you something right now.

All right. It's on Amazon the the the that I was born, the year that I was born, all right? Because I was born, they said that I was premature, all right? I wasn't premature, I was just excited to get grinding, okay? I was just early to grind. I wanted to be born. I was like, Mom, I got this from here. Okay? Go ahead, let me slip out too early by a doctor's standards. Okay. Go ahead. And go ahead and push me out. Put me in thethe incubator They said I'd be the incubator for a month I was in the incubator for a week because I was too excited to get grinding Okay Let me tell you about something about early birds. We get it in all right we wake up. We're upset that we fell asleep every day I wake up I'll punch myself in the face okay okay I might why did you fall asleep why did you fall asleep so all for for all you night hours out there okay I know that

you hear the propaganda all right the stigma the stigma against being out here grind it in a night time right no let them know now it in the night time, right? Let them know. Now while those people are out there, using up all that good sunlight, they are wasting this good moonlight, you understand? They've been grinding all day, right? Like, okay, you got up at 7 a.m. But what if, what if it's 6 a.m. And I haven't go on the bed yet, you understand?

Because I'm still working. Because they talk about, they talk about the early bird and the night hour, but nobody told you, you could be both. You could be both. Why are you going to sleep? What is wrong? Do you know I've not been to sleep since the Clinton administration? Come on. That's why. That's why? That's why? That's? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that? th, th, th, th, th, the? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th? the th? th? th? th? th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that,to sleep? Since the Clinton administration? Come on. That's why. That's why. I own seven yachts. And two of them I can park in another one. Come on now. You got to get out here. It's 8 a.m. somewhere. Right. Wake your ass up. Okay. One a.m. everywhere. All right. Think about it. Think about it. My favorite is that thing that they'll do when someone else, so like, let's say two of them hype each other up. Yeah. They have about three things that they'll do. And you can like, if you go to any of their videos on YouTube right now, and you'll be able to hear what I'm saying. They'll either, you'll be talking, so I'm your hype, I'm your hype. Right, right, right.

And so you'll say something and then I'll act like I stub my toe. So you'll say something, and I'll be like, Ooh, ooh. It's like church. It's exactly like church. Because then, then, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you because then then if you say something else and I really like like if I'm almost jealous I didn't think of that toxically positive thing and you say it I'm like Mmm. Hmm It's 1 a.m. Everywhere. to theyme everywhere everywhere

okay. Why did you stop grinding? You should even have one you you should even have one, you should be Michael Jackson out here. You ground so hard, your nose are so close to the grointhone. You understand? You know what you're looking like a mummy? You understand? It should be nothing here. It should be smooth in the middle of your face. Okay? Like a cartoon, you understand? You ever seen a nose on an emoji? No, because they grind so hard because they're in your phone 24-7, 365. I sell

a quince in the the the tomorrow. Do not play with me, broo, don't play with me. We are out here working. What are you doing? Yes because this is a motivational podcast We're out here giving you the tools all right now Mm-hmm now listen Now listen then listen, no, noon Josh didn't want to stare at his key knowledge with you right Because Josh thought you wasn't ready, but I knew you was ready because Josh wanted you to be in an incubaker a little longer Wanted you to sit underneath him like the little chickadees that you are. Wanted you to sit in his nest just a little bit more.

To suckle on to teach the knowledge from him just a little bit more. But I believe in you. You understand? I believe in you. So we got a retreat coming up in Dubai. Yeah. Yeah, there's always a retreat somewhere that only they can't afford. There's always a retreat somewhere that only they can afford. There's yeah, there's always a retreat. Bollie they're always gonna fucking Bali. Yeah's, yeah, there's always, so we got a retreat going on. They're always going to fucking Bali.

Yeah, because you know Bali. You know Bali doesn't extra die. Right, Bali doesn't extra die. Ha ha ha ha. The other thing that I'll throw out there, which I feel like in this podcast, all the ones that we've done at big least points for my thing. Yeah. You can do like a 10 minute act out, which was much needed. Yeah.

The other thing about early birds that will say that they think is a benefit to them is that when they're done with work, when they put in their eight or so odd hours, there's still a whole day left to have. So even with a night out, I get that night out can be very productive, especially for what we do, you always need to be a night out because if you have multiple spots, it's like you can't show up to the last spot ready to just drag the cell home. But you could be a night owl, I'm a night owl who had day jobs. Night owl I think just means it's someone who's just up later at night, then someone who works in the day should probably be. I don't think yeah, yeah, I think that's fair. Right, because it it it it's like, I was like, I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the the night, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the th. that, like, like, like, like, like it's like a night, I mean I like the night, I will lifestyle. Because I'm somebody who I think maybe you had brought it up to me or Derek brought it up to me

where it was just like they were laughing at something that I said where it's like somebody had asked me like, hey, you going home and I was like, the only person th lives in my house. So what do you mean? I said there's no one to go home to. So it's like a lot of times I'll be out because when I get home ain't nobody here but my furniture and my clothes. So like I think that I would probably like be able to you know maybe retire a little bit for my night hour lifestyle. Okay. If there was some warm arms to come home to. Mm-mm. As opposed to a pillow to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to the the to the the their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. their their their their their their their some warm arms to come home to. Mm-hmm. As opposed to a pillow top mattress. I see. So like love could have brought me home last night. But it didn't because love don't live here. You know what I mean? Yeah. You catch all those song references? Dang. I did. I appreciate them. That's why I didn't want to erupt because I was like I who knows when these are going to be Done, you know, you could have just kept going

Do to do to do do do do do to do do enough to where we don't have to pay for it. Yeah, I think I just have to prefer the night out of a lifestyle Because I feel like that there are things that happen at night Because I feel like that there are things that happen at night. Mm-hmm. There's adventures you can get into at night that you cannot get into during the day? Yeah. It's unnecessarily trouble. But adventures? Like, yeah. Wow, am I at a party at a custom model body shop? Why am I in here? You know?

Yeah. Like, oh, are we in Korea town drinking illegally after hours and we can't talk loudly because the cops will show up? Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of adventures you can have, but what we're going to do right now is we are going to ask the listeners. Like friends. Yes. Tell us. And this way, I don't think we were trying to like convince each other the other the other the other the other the other the other the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to you to you to you to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. th. the thr. thr. the the the thr. the the the thr. the the the the the thri. toe. to. to. to. to. Yeah Tell us and this way I don't think we were trying to like convince each other Of the others. I think we were just presenting Who we are as individuals? I'm very much a night time I'm not gonna say I'm a lady of the night because we all know what that means but It's But I will say that I'm a human being that has enjoyed when the moon and the stars are

out more because like I'm a beach person, I'm a beach lady, right? I'm a summertime lady. But ooh, should we do summer versus winter? Yeah, we should do that because I know what you're going to pick and you're going to lose. And I know you're going to pick winter because I've never seen it with a short sleeve shirt. You're going to be wi-woven or you're always in a jacket. I know you'd be hot in them long sleeve shirts in July.

I know you're doing so, you're doing so well. Now on the side of the episode now. I'm just saying that like I feel like that. Because I want the listeners to tell us how you live your life. Are you somebody that wants to be cozy and rosy in your bed at 11 o'clock at night like a sucker? Or... Or, look, are you like me? And I'm out full disclosure, I'm not fully an early bird yet but I've been working towards that lifestyle because I like grind that I like to see the sun I want to wake up before the sun I want to wake up and go for a run and

then when I see the sun I'm like you late okay psycho it all right that's that's what I need in my life all right I need the son to be like damn. I'm slipping Josh picking it up right now Okay, doing to you Josh No, no, no No, no, no. No, no, I'm just making you somebody just gonna Self-publish a book. Yeah, yeah, it will be self-published because that's how you really

Grime when it comes to putting out books all you. You don't give it to some editor. Okay, to read to give you notes. You give yourself the notes. You tell yourself, hey, was that a good comma? Yeah, that was a good comma. And I'm gonna put a city calling too, just so that they know. And then you put it out of yourself.

And then the people try to tell So we're gonna kick it to you the listener. I'm worried about you. I'm so worried. You fell into this dude so easy. I'm so concerned. You know exactly who this person is. You know what? This is your villain origin story.

This is exactly, you know too much. You know too much The student has become the teacher No, you might have to get an intervention or exorcism something We got to come get you niggin. This is wild you are you are you are to you have been undercover too long Bro You've been undercover too long You've been undercover too long

You were not, you're right. Look look look look you right. You right. You right. You're right. You, look, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, you, you, you, you, you, you, the student, the student, the student, the student, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the law. You were not in Noriega. Look, look, look, you're right. I have been undercover and now it's time to lift the covers off and show my true grindtime self, okay? If I had you something. I was undercover. I was under the veil, okay? I was under the iron veil of mediocrity, all right? Of regal, re, re, re, re, regularity, which is just super averagicity is where I was at, okay? And now I'm on a blind. Now I'm out here building something up.

I'm trying to put something together and anybody doesn't like to get out my way. I'm gonna fight you when I see you. So you didn't knock this out of here. If you if all of you listening have any thoughts on Early Bird versus now please tell us you know let us know what you think let us know what you brought it episode please leave a comment share and subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube. Tell a friend that, you know, the good news about Brian thing. All right. And if you're looking to catch up with us on the socialists, you can find me at Josh Johnson on

comedy on Instagram on TikTok and YouTube. And, uh, at Josh Johnson comedy on Instagram at Josh Johnson comedy on Tick-Tock and YouTube and at Josh Johnson on Twitter and And if you're looking for Dulce. It's Dulce-S-L-O-A-N on Instagram, Facebook, Tick-Tock, Twitter, uh, that's all the things and, um, just take a moment and just pray for Josh It's been really harassing for right now Yes, I got I'll take that I'll take all the prayers. Thank you because I'll need those prayers when I'm out grinding Okay Close close close close show Josh Okay, so yeah, y'all just have a great rest of the day into the weekend.

We appreciate you so much. You ain't gotta grind, go to bed! that. Hey, thanks for listening everybody. And we wanna know, what do you want to hear us on you about on this podcast? Drop a comment on holdup clip you see on the Daily Show's Instagram, Facebook, Tick-Todd or YouTube papers. Or even tweet us and use the hashtag Hold Up. A lot of 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.