The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Eye on George Santos: Lies, Lies & More Lies

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Meet George Santos: America's infamous lying congressman.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology. Sip Recruiters' smart technology identifies to the talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner.

Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day Try it for free at this exclusive web address zip recruiter dot com slash zip zip recruder the smartest way to hire You're listening to Comedy Central You're listening to Comedy Central Central. You all know who George Santos is, right? With his creepy ass. If y'all don't know who he is, he's the new Republican congressman who we found out, lied about his entire life.

He made up a whole career as a businessman. He made up that his family was Jewish and his mom was a victim of 9-11. Ew. Ew. Do you know how much you have to lie to be known as the lying congressman? I mean, all these motherfa's do is lie all day. But when you ask them, who is the liar? They're like, this guy.

Wait till you hear about this shit he did. Representative George Santos has allegedly sold $3,000 in donations from a disabled homeless veterans dying service dog. Santos allegedly used an alias to con the veteran and set up a Go Fund Me page that would be deleted as soon as it hit its goal and then Santos disappeared altogether. Exactly. So, so you're telling me, this man didn't steal $3,000 from a dog. He didn't just steal from a service dog. He didn't just steal from a dying service dog. He stole from a disabled homeless

veterans dying service dog? Oh my God! You evil and stupid. You're gonna mess with somebody's dog? Have you not heard of John Wick? Your ass is in trouble? Trouble! Mess with no veterans, dog. You know it's so crazy?

This guy is so evil. I wonder if they put him in there on purpose so I can't pay attention to the other evil people. Anybody got any eyes on Marjorie Taylor Green? What's up with that bitch? What is that bitch up to? She probably got Garfield tied up in her office. I'm serious. Like what does this man have to do to get thrown out of Congress? He's a

fucking liar. Black people don't get believed when they actually tell the truth. Barack Obama was like, hey I was born in America and people were like, bullshit, where's the birth certificate? And this guy was like, I was a millionaire Jewish volleyball star. And y'all like, hell yeah, put them in Congress! I'm sick of y'all shit. It's been a bad week for George Santos. Or as he calls it, a good week. He's already been caught in like 50 lies. He lied about his career. He lied about his name.

He lied about running a pet charity. And now, he's getting caught in a new lie. According to an ex-friend of George Santos is from Brazil, the openly gay New York congressman used to perform in drag back in the day and even had his own drag queen persona named Kitara. Photos and video reveal that Santos performed in drags several times over at least three years, despite his claim that it was something he did just once for fun. Congressman, were you ever a drag queen in Brazil? I was not a drag queen in Brazil, guys.

I was young and I had fun at a festival. Sue me for having a life. Sue me for having a life. Sue me for having a life? No, man, we should sue you for lying. You know, but the drag queen part is pretty cool. I like Katara. Katara, you stay. George Santos, sashay away. Now with all these laws, it's no surprise that 59% of New Yorkers want him to resign.

But that does raise the question, how could it only be 59%? Like, who are the people who don't want him to resign? Well, lucky for us, they just released an ad. You've probably been hearing a lot in the media about our new congressman, George Santos. But now it's time that you hear from us, the people who voted for him. We here in New York's third district voted for Congressman Santos because he's a fighter. And not just as a politician, but as a boxer who beat Muhammad Ali in 1972. It's a great fight.

Come on, Tommy! I stand with George Santos, because when my apartment building was collapsing, he held it up with one arm. I support George Santos, because simply put, he's a war hero. We also invented the window. I'm voting for Santos because he cares about seniors.

And as an 87-year-old woman, that's important to me. I stand with the brother George Santos because he invented the cure for COVID. Just wish he had done it before I died from it. I stand with Santos. Yep, even me. Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman. As a Christian woman who's never had sex because I'm saving myself for marriage, I know George Santos shares my values. Why do I support George Santos?

Because we're both proudly Jewish. Jewish. I stand with George Santos. Now watch me eat this meatball sandwich. I stand with George Santos. Who's Anthony Devalder? I stand with Anthony Sandovalder. Did George Santos, I stand with Anthony Sandoz de Volder? Did George Santos, I stand with George Santos? I stand with Anthony Sandovalder. Did George Santos, I stand with George Santos. I stand with George Costant. Anthony DeVito, George Michael. John Stamos. Whatever his name may be, I'm with her.

I'm with her. I'm with him. Can I call him Rick? I want to say Rick. You'll know who he is. Pay for with money you're sent to a dying dog probably. Hey guys, it's Desi. Back again with another breakdown of plastic surgery trends in Republican congressman. Today we're going to talk about Anthony DeVolder, or as he's more commonly known by his stage name, Congressman George Santos.

I just want to remind you guys that I'm speculating the best of my ability about plastic surgeries. I the the the the the the thoe the plastic surgery th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to the, the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. thae, th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. today today today te. here to try and tell you the truth, unlike George Santos, who lied about his mother being a victim of 9-11. Let's get into it. So in this old photo of Santos, we see that he has an undefined jaw, thinner lips, and a haircut that says, I lied about starting an animal charity. But in this most recent photo, that Santos has made some really nice changes. First off, he's definitely gotten filler for his nasolabial folds,

and you can tell that because his cheeks appear much more full, unlike his political resume, which is consisted of lies about where he went to school. Next, I can see that he's got some lip filler, and I love the amount that he's gotten. It's subtle. I think it really adds to his whole drag queen, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, to to, to to, to to, to, to to, to, to, th.. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. that's, that's toooooooi. tooooi. tooi. thii he was never a drag queen vibe. Just perfect. Lastly, Santos has a significant amount of Botox done on his forehead.

Now, Botox prevents wrinkles by not letting your skin fold. Kind of like how George Santos refuses to fold to the many requests he's gotten, asking him to resign. Anyways, that's all I have for you guys today. I'm going to try to make some more videos for you next week, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and to, to, to, to, to, and, and, to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, to.. to. to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to.. So. So. So. So. And, to, to, to, to.. And, to, to, to, to, to. And, to, too. And, too. B. B. B. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, toox. Bota. Botaxe. Botaxe, ba. Botaxe, bo, bo, bo, bo, toox. Bo-s going to try to make some more videos for you next week, so definitely comment below and let me know who you'd like to see. Earlier this week, he was roasted at the State of the Union by Utah Senator and Silver Fox Mitt Romney. And apparently, Georgie didn't appreciate it. Meanwhile, Santos is firing back at Senator Mitt Romney after they clash at the state of the union. Romney said Santos should be embarrassed and should have sat in the back and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the union. Romney said Santos should be embarrassed and should have sat in the back and stayed quiet.

It's not the first time in history that I've been told to shut up and go to the back of the room, especially by people who come from a privileged background. And I think it's reprehensible that the senator would say such a thing to me in the demeaning way he said it wasn't very Mormon of him. That's what I can't about people coming from a privileged background when you dress like young Sheldon. You're saying that wasn't very Mormon. Mitt Romney is so Mormon that whatever he does is the Mormon thing to do. He is the king of the Mormons. All Mormons are mad at you right now, and as a Jewish person, I'm going to take a leap

of faith and speak on behalf of all Jews and say, we're mad at you too. Even the Dalai Lama is like, oh, this mother f-f-foo-er? I like how he says it's not the first time he's been told to go to the back of the room. It sounded like he was about to say, African-A- were told to go to the bat for years, but we said no. At the same time, though, George Santos is an absolute bitch, and I love it. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruitter finds finds to find to find to find to find to you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the back the back the back the back the back. the the the back the toe toe toe toe to toe toe toe toe to right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter.

Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip.

Again that's zip recruiter.com slash zip. Recruiter the smartest way to hire. George Santos. George Santos. Now, he just started his first term in Congress and absolutely no one wants him to run again. His constituents are embarrassed by him, Republicans want him to go away, even the Dalai Lama said he wouldn't suck his tongue with a 10-foot pole. Which means, there's only one thing a real alpha male would do. Embeddled Republican at New York Congressman George San George Santos going back on his word that he

wouldn't run for re-election. Instead, he launched his campaign for re-election on his 100th day in office. It's a beautiful day here in Washington, D.C. It's a great day to be an American. It's a great day to be here a Republican and it's a great date to announce re-election. Santos is under local, state, state. to too-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-sa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-seeeea-sea-sea-sea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-sea-ea-sea-a-s. to re-election. Santos is under local, state, federal, and international investigation. Say what you want about Santos. But it's Uber Alpha to run for re-election when you're as unpopular as he is. He's so unpopular, his campaign had to refund more donation than it's technically raised negative $3,000. You gotta give it to George Santos.

He's the only elected official who's effectively taken money out of politics. When I first started talking with people about guest hosting the Daily Show, I said, you know, what I really want to do is spotlight some great Latinos in American society. And I think... And I think... oh, thank you. Yeah. Because, because I think it's so important to use my position to uplift the raza, you know? Bally, right?

So, so let's spin the wheel and see who our first subject is going to be. Wow. Wow. No, no, it's a, wow. George Santos, God help me. Well, you know what, to be fair, we can't really take blame for this guy, because we don't even know if he's really Latino or not. Okay? All right, so what do you do now?

Hmm? Congressman George Santos struck a deal of prosecutors in Brazil to settle a charge that he defrauded a shop clerk out of $1,300 and $1,000. Under the deal, Santos will formally confess to the 2008 crime and paid damages to the victim. A lawyer for Santos requested the deal in lieu of a trial, arguing that Santos is now gainfully employed and re-socialized. Those are his words. In 2010, the congressman told police that he wrote bad checks from a checkbook that he stole from an elderly man who his mother was caring for in order to purchase the items.

Wow. Wow, what a gigantic ass, which I know Brazilians are usually into, but not like this. Oh, that offends you? Come on. In a way you have to respect Santos though, a lot of Republicans just want to end Social Security, but Santos has the boss to take an old man's wallet directly from his pocket. He actually stole from an elderly man his mother was caring for. And that's on top of stealing from a homeless veterans dying dog. Is there no bottom? Is there nothing too low for this guy? George Sampton sees a make-a-wish kid and he says, oh, that's a jackpot. I'm talking about the broke millionaire half-black gay Jewish volleyball star drag queen, George Santos. Believe it or not, his resume keeps growing.

Just this week, he's been accused of groping an aid. And I will say, this is the first thing about him that makes him sound like he does belong in Congress. Things are really starting to click for him. But before we could even let that sink in, we got hit with this other crazy lie. Meanwhile, George Santos was also a Broadway producer. At least that's what the embatted lawmaker allegedly told potential donors when he was running for office in 2021.

Bloomberg reports Santos told supporters that he was a producer on the short-lived Broadway production, Spider-Man, turn off the dark. The Office of the Plays producer confirmed that Santos did not work on it. The play only ran for a short time and was plagued with technical issues and actor injuries. It lost millions of dollars during its run and frankly a curious choice for Santos to lie about. A spokesman for the show said, quote, of all the tribulations the producers of Spider-Man Turn Offed off the dark had to endure, we are very pleased, proud, and relieved to report that working with George Santos is not

one of them. I do not get this, dude. How could he lie so much and not get better at lying? Why would you pick the most embarrassing Broadway show to lie about? That's like saying, you heard of the Titanic? I was the captain. But maybe this guy is smarter than he looks, because each new scandal makes you forget about the last one.

I've already forgotten that he stole money from a dead dog. That dog. Who's right, you heard me. He stole from a dog and then ghosted that dog. Who ghosts a dog? We've only known this guy for like five weeks. How are we already on season 19 of his scandals? I feel like I need to put his scandals to like, oh, we didn't start the fire so I can remember them. 9-11, volleyball, Spider-Man, Dead Dog. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show,

wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.