The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Fox News Turns on John Bolton | Ilana Glazer

Episode Date: January 29, 2020

Fox News takes aim at John Bolton, President Trump advances his anti-immigrant agenda, and comedian Ilana Glazer discusses "The Planet Is Burning" and "Horny 4 Tha Polls." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth D Done of CBS News, listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. January 28, 2020.

From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York,. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Ears Edition. Welcome to the Daily Show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. Thank you so much for coming out. Let's do it, everybody. Let's make a show. I'm Trevor Noah. Our guest tonight is a comedian just out with a new Amazon special, you know her from Broad City. Ilana Glazer is joining us everybody. Also on tonight's show, John Bolton gets unfriended. Elizabeth Warren lets the dogs out and Donald Trump is locking the door to the country. So let's catch up on today's headlines.

Let's kick it off with some international news, involving the British royal family. Recently, Prince Andrew, the third child of Queen Elizabeth, was forced to step back from his royal duties after the public learned about his suspicious friendship with sex offender and suicide victim, Jeffrey Epstein. And now, the prince's situation is getting even worse. Prince Andrew is under new fire here in the US,

an American prosecutor issuing the royal a rare public scolding in the investigation into his former friend, the late Jeffrey Epstein......... th. th. thi-upupupupupupupupup. thi-upe-upe-upe-upe-upe-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, the the the the thi-in, the thi-in, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th............ th-in, th-in, th-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, thi-in, the-nusususususususususus. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-n. thee-in, the the American prosecutor issuing the Royal a rare public scolding in the investigation into his former friend, the late Geoffrey Epstein. In an unusual move today, the US attorney called out the Royal for refusing to answer questions in their investigation of his former friend. Would you be willing to testify or give a statement under oath if you were asked? Well I'm like everybody else, and I would have to take all the legal advice that there was before I was to do that sort of thing, but if Bush came to shove and the legal advice was to do so, then I would be duty-bound to do so.

Okay, I know his mouth said he's willing to cooperate, but his head said no, like 300 times, and I'm not a body language expert, but that dude's head looks ready to plead guilty. I've got to say, Prince Andrew is one shady-ass prince. I bet even Nigerian princes are looking at this guy like, clearly he is lying, you cannot trust a single word he is saying.. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, like, clearly he is lying, huh? You cannot trust a single word he is saying, or my name isn't the Honorable Prince Daniel Wartuku,

routing number, 80754. It's also crazy. It really is crazy to me that Harry and Megan have to renounce their royal titles just because they want to live in Canada and work for a living. This guy is protecting his pedophile friend and they're like, yeah you can stay a prince, yeah in fact why not take Harry and Megan's titles too? Long live prince, prince Andrew the princess! Yeah! I actually wonder how far this will go because the FBI coming out saying like Andrew doesn't want cooperate. to the the theyn. I I I I I I I their Buckingham Palace? Is it going to be raided by the Navy Seals? That could get ugly because you know

the Queen won't go down without a fight. Meanwhile, back in America, it's just one week until the first voting in the Democratic primary takes place in Iowa, which means Democrats can't afford to be off the campaign trail for even a minute. And now, toe, tho, tho, toe, tho, toe, tho, thuuuuuuuuuuui, thu, thui, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thu, thu, thu, thuuuuic, thu, thi, thi, thi, throoooan, throan, throan, throan, thean, throan, thean, throan, thean, thi, thi, the campaign trail for even a minute. And now some candidates are even bringing along their special friends. Bernie had Alexandria-Ocazio Cortez hold a rally for him. Pete Budauggeje had Mandy Moore introduce him, and Elizabeth Warren flipped the script on everybody. While Senator Elizabeth Warren is stuck in D.C. for the trial, her most popular campaign partner, Bailey Warren, is campaigning in Iowa. Bailey delivered a speech addressing the ratio of treats to belly rubs. And he was joined by Drake University's Griff, the Bulldog, for 18 minutes of selfies.

Oh, okay. I see how it is. In America, you send the dog to campaign for you. It's an adorable story. But if Africans elected a bush pig as mayor, people will call us a weird continent. Seriously, American politics is strange. You can just send a dog to fill in for you. It's a campaign railer and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna say, you can't do this in any other job. They'll never announce this on a flight.

Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot is sick, but he sends his dog captain snappy to fly the plane. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know what I worry about though? Is now that Warren's dog is in the campaign, soon we could see other candidates going negative on that dog. You know, it's just be ads like Elizabeth Warren's dog says he's a good boy. But he has a record of peeing in the house. And he's the father of 25 illegitimate children.

I'm Bernie Sanders and I approve this message. All right, and finally, if you're planning on taking a cruise soon, you may want to think hard about what to pack. Carnival Cruise Line is adding a new dress code banning clothing that other guests, other guests may find offensive. The Cruise Line's new rules specifically bans clothing and accessories that has nudity, profanity, sexual suggestions, ethnic or racial commentary, and violence of any form. Some feel that this broad policy is a rather slippery slope for carnival saying there are some people who find lots of things offensive.

Oh, this makes no sense. How are you going to ban offensive clothing from a cruise? I mean, then you must just ban cruises. No, because all clothing on cruises is offensive. The whole point of a cruise is that you can finally wear that t-shirt that makes you look like you're naked. Right? Where else are you going to wear that? To a job interview? Where do I see myself for five years? Like, this? Also, what do they mean? No clothing with racial commentary so I can't wear my kill white people shirt to the buffet anymore? My

grandmother got me that shirt okay? My white grandmother. For real why? Why are we wasting time? Arguing about dress codes on a cruise. You know what we should be making? We should be making cruise that we actually need. Like I have a few that I propose. I think we need a rule about how long people are allowed to wave when the ship is leaving. Okay? Five minutes, tops. You can't just stand there and wave for like an hour. It's too long. People, bye, bye. The ship's not even moved. By, the ship's not even moved. By. Waving made sense when we didn't have the phone. the phone. the phone then then the then th. When th. We didn't the th. th. the th. the th. th. to the to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to to to to to to the to to to to to wa. to to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. to wa. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovevevevee. the savooooooooo people ever again. Bye! I hope the iceberg doesn't kill you. Bye! Bye!

Now it's like, bye, bye, and then you're on the phone. Yeah, I saw you're leaving. Let's face time. Bye, bye. This shit never ends. Also, here's another rule for cruise ships. People on a cruise today, All right? That's what I like about airports. When you land at an airport, they get you into the mood for the city. If you land at LaGuardia, I don't care if you came from the Bahamas

and 10 minutes you hate your life. And now you're ready for New York. But you don't get that prep time on a cruise. No, everyone gets off the cruise, they're train. And also, cruise ships need to stop honking that huge horn. The whole city hears that thing. Bah, ba, ba, we see you. You're on a cruise ship.

No one is on the shore like, is that a cruise ship or a bird? I don't know. Let's wave back and see if they they they they they they they they they's they's wait they wave. Bye, bye! All right, that's it for the headlines. Let's move on, top-top story. Today was the seventh day in the impeachment trial of President Donald Jafar Trump. And the big news is still the bombshell dropped by John Bolton, former national security advisor and broke-ass monopoly man. You see, in his upcoming book, John Bolton claims that President Trump did in fact have a quid pro quo with Ukraine where he demanded dirt on Joe Biden and a side of fries. So John Bolton has now thrown a wrench into Trump's impeachment trial, which has been a major

topic of discussion amongst Trump's most trusted advisors, Fox News. Now what's interesting is that not too long ago, John Boltontontonton, John th. th. th. thuuuuil-a thuil-a thu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-b-a-b-a-b-b-b-b-a-b-a-b-a-a-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-iiii-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-i. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n, thi-a-a-a-a-nc-nc-i-i-i-i. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. truuu. truuuuuuu. truuu. truu. tru. trusted advisors, Fox News. Now what's interesting is that not too long ago, John Bolton was clearly part of the Fox family. Joining us now, Fox News contributor, former U.S. ambassador, a today. Joining us now, a today. Fockewo's a former ambassador to the UN, John Bolton. Who better to bringto the studio by Steve Deason. To you...

Nobody's holding for it. Come on! Who's the treaty? He's watching. Mr. President Alight. This is what you can. Yeah! Whoa!

Whoa! Oh, man. Oh, man. If Shakira's hips don't thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi-. thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- tho tho tho the thi-tom tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. too-s today together together together. together. together. too. too. too. too. too. to to lie, then those lips are pathological liars. Because look at that, look at that. It looks like his legs are fused directly to his shoulders. It's like watching C3PO trying to twark. That's what that looks like. And you can tell, you can tell how much people at Fox cared for John Bolton. You know, he's like the goofy uncle who just wants to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to have the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi you can tell. You can tell how much people at Fox cared for John Bolton. He's like the goofy uncle who just wants to have fun and wipe Iran off the planet.

But now that Bolton's allegations could hurt President Trump, Fox News has made it very clear that he is no longer invited to the family cookout. We heard from other people closely tied to the White House who said, look, John Bolton is simply trying to sell a book and that's why the timing is so delicious. There is nothing Bolton adds to the conversation. As for John Bolton, well it's really disappointing if he ends up being just another think-tank type trying to cash in on his time in the White House. The only reason anyone cares about what Bolton has to say is because he was Trump's National Security Advisor, period. Yeah, that's exactly why people want to hear from him.

Her tone makes her sound right, but the words are completely wrong. It's like somebody's saying, the only reason anyone in the operating room listens to you is because you're the head of surgery. Yes, that's exactly it. But it's clearly obvious. Fox is now done with Bolton because he went against Donald Trump. And at Fox News, you can do a lot of things.

But there's two things you can never do. Criticize Trump or have a regular-sized neck. And no one is as butt hurt over Bolton's betrayal as Lou Dobbs. Fox business host and guy who locks his car doors when he hears black music on the radio. The way he talks, it sounds like he's already impeached Bolton from his friend's list. John Bolton himself has been reduced to a tool for the radical dims and the deep state. He served as Romney's foreign policy advisor during Romney's failed 2012 presidential run. Romney's long had connections with foreign policy rhinos

and they with him, Bolton, one of them. See how it works? You bet. Not so complicated, is it? Am I the only one who doesn't understand that chart? Because according to Lou Dobbs, the Vinman brothers have no connection to each other? How does that work? What, when they were kids, did they only communicate through Bolton? It was like, Mr. Bolton, tell my brother to give my toy back?

No, Mr. Bolton, tell him, I said he can only have it tomorrow. Both of you calm down. It's my toy. Ah, ha ha. And it's really sad that Lou Dobbs is so anti-Bolton now. Because until a few months ago, until a few months ago, it seemed like he was Bolton's because of his intellect, his capacity, his experience, his talent.

John Bolton is one bright, highly knowledgeable individual who has the interest of this country and this president in mind every step of the way. John Bolton served this president well and we thank him for his service. I don't think most people realize what a respected figure you are, a respected attorney, you know, we never talk about that. But anyway, John Bolton, a Fox News contributor, a great American. Damn, one minute, John Bolton is a great American. And the next, he's a tool for the deep state. I haven't seen a flip like that since bread. Yeah, think about it. For all of history, for all of human history,

we were like, bread is the life force that has sustained human civilization for thousands of years. Then all of a sudden five years ago, we were like, f-feehue you, bread! I ate sandwiches on lettuce now! But Fox News has put out a clear message to every single one of Trump supporters. It doesn't matter how much they liked you before. If you talk smack, they will turn on you faster than John Bolton on a fit board.

We'll be right back. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the daily show. You know, it's easy to forget that while

impeachment is going on, Donald Trump is still in office pushing his agenda forward. And you have to admit it's a kind of weird system. He's being investigated for high crimes against the country, but in the meantime, it's just like, yeah, just keep doing your thing. It's all good. I can imagine if other jobs work this way. It's like, Bill, we're pretty sure that you've been drinking and driving andthe school bus, but until we figure it out, you just keep popping those wheelies, man.

We'll let you know. So while the trial continues, Trump is still doing President's stuff. And at the top of his to-do list lately is keeping people out of America, starting with supersizing the travel ban. President Trump is planning to widen its controversial travel ban. The plan will prohibit nearly all people from seven countries. Now the new restrictions are expected to be announced on Monday. If our country has to be safe, you see what's going on in the world? Our country has to be safe.

So we have a very strong travel ban and we'll be adding a few countries to it. Yes, Donald Trump is expanding his infamous travel ban. And it looks like it's going to be six countries from Africa and Asia, and one from Europe, just to throw people off the scent. You know, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I know Trump's State Department claims they're doing this to keep America safe. But it is starting to feel like Trump really just wants to ban the entire world, but he's doing it a few countries at a time, just so he doesn't look crazy. It's almost the same way, like how I treat the dessert, the dessert at a buffet. Yeah, I'll just be like, yeah, I'll just have one of these. I'll just be like, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I, I, I, I'll just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I didn't see there was cheesecake. The cheesecake, do you want to, I'm, I've got to have the cheesecake. I'll, I'll come back, I want, I don't, I don't. Either way, the travel ban is about to get even broader. But while Trump is trying to stop people from moving here, he's also preventing them from being born in America in the first place.

The Trump issued new rules tourism when women travel here to give birth so their children will automatically become US citizens. And it comes after President Trump has railed against birthright citizenship. You're a dictator who we hate and who's against us and that dictator has his wife have a baby on American soil. Congratulations your son or daughter is now an American citizen. Does anybody think this makes sense? Okay. Why would a dictator want their child to be born as an American? What's the game plan?

What, just have the kid born here, become a US citizen? And then when the kid returns home, be like, I have an American hostage and I have some demands. It's like, Dad, what are you doing? Shut up, infidel. Now, now, even though Trump's example is crazy, he's not wrong about people abusing birth birthright citizenship. Every year, thousands of rich foreign women fly to America just to give birth, so the baby be U.S. citizen and then they fly home. And if you ask me, it's a good example of the Constitution being behind the times.

Because back then, when they came up with birthright citizenship, no one was just flying in for the weekend. Yeah, back then you were considered an explorer if you went more than three towns over. Yeah, people in New York were like, did you hear? James went to New Jersey and he survived! So I get wanting to limit birth tourism, but the question is, how is Homeland Security going to determine who's coming in just to give birth? Because that could get pretty awkward at the airport. Well, the border agent is just going to be like, hey, no pregnant women allow. Oh, you're not pregnant? Okay, fine. You can come in, but take a spin class or something. Come on. So maybe curbing birth tourism isn't the craziest idea. But Trump isn't

just going off to rich families. No, he's also targeting the tired, huddled masses, yearning to breathe free. And the Trump administration has scored a victory in its effort to place new restrictions on legal immigration. The Supreme Court has cleared the way for the government to deny green cards to immigrants if they sign up for public assistance like food stamps or Medicaid or if they're considered likely to apply for such assistance in the future. Yeah, in other words, Trump wants to block poor people from staying in America, which explains the updated inscription on the Statue of Liberty. Bitch, better have my money. And honestly, this is, it it, it, it, it, it, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is kind thi, it is kind thi. thi. thi. It is kind thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thei. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the. the. the. thi. on the Statue of Liberty. Bitch, better have my money. And honestly, this is kind of depressing.

Because coming from nothing and building a life for yourself is literally the American dream. It's basically what the country was founded on. Well, that and the freedom to get weird ass haircuts, but that mostly. And the irony of this law is that Trump's own mother arrived in America as a poor immigrant with barely any money to her name. So if these rules were in place when she came over, she probably wouldn't have been allowed to stay. She would have been denied a visa and sent packing.

And then there would be no President Trump. So I'm not saying the law is terrible. I'm just saying it's about a hundred years too late. We'll be right back. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look. Wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight co-created and starred in the hit Comedy Central Series Broad City and now has her first stand-up special on Amazon Prime called The Planet is Burning.

Please welcome, Ilana Glazer! Welcome! Welcome back. Hi. Thanks. Welcome back to the show. And congratulations on, this is your first comedy special, yes? Yeah, it is my first. Yeah, congratulations on, this is your first comedy special, yes? Yeah, it is my first.

Yeah, congratulations on that. So much, thank you. The title seems very real though, the planet is burning. Yeah, you know, it is like my lens through which I think things are funny, right? Where it's like the planet is burning. And we're not talking about it all the time. It's like, it, it, it, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi thi to thi to thi to to thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Right. Where it's like the planet is burning and we're not talking about it all the time. It's like pathetically funny. Uh-huh. But also I thought if I was gonna have billboards and repeat a phrase over and over it, this is probably a worthwhile one. Oh that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It's like a title you can use for you and then it's for the planets at the same same same same same same same same same the planet at the planet at the planet at the planet at the planet at the planet at the same same same the planet at the planet at the same. the the the the the planet at the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I I I I's th. I I I I I I's th. I I I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm p. I'm p. I'm thi. I'm th. I can use for you and then it's for the planets at the same time. It's precious sky time. Right. Right. It's free climate change advertising. That's what it's at the same time. Truly, exactly. I like it's now. Now you've made

Amazon pay to advertise about climate change. I know. I recognize irony for sure. That is pretty amazing. Let's tell haven't tried to like mimic anyone's stand-ups. It's very much you, it's very much your comedy and just your vibe. When you went into it, where people like, we want to see Atlanta from Broad City or were they like, no, we want to see like your improv roots or your stand-up roots. Were you worried about what people to see? I'm still worried. You know what I mean? I'm like, who am, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I, who I'm like, who I'm like, who I'm like, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to see, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th.ally worried. But I love stand-up, and it's such a, I mean, it's classic. It's so, it's the OG art style. It's OG comedy. And it's just a different path, I guess,

that I've had to be able to form my character through Broad City. But I don't know that I'm, there was like one, I'm not one to like search bad reviews or whatever, but there's one review that was like, she's, is she a Lana Wexler or is she a Lana Glazer? I'm like, bitch, I don't know. You know, like, I'm working it out too. So I just, uh. You have another show coming up called, Horny for the Poles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, tho, th. I's, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha, tha, Horny for the Poles. Yeah.

And polls as in like voting polls, not the polls. Not the polls. No, no, no, I just want you to understand, because the words sound the same. I am so horny for the polls. You really are, though. I really am. People don't know this about you,

or people do this about you or people do know this about you, but you are, you are not ashamed to be an activist at all. Like you, you don't hide that, you know, like a lot of comedians will be like, oh I keep my politics out of my stand-up, but you're like, no, I'm going to tell you who I am, what I believe in politically and I'm going to fight for that. Yeah, I mean like I don't feel like I don't feel like, I don't feel like, I don't feel like, I th. I don't feel like, I th. I th. I don't feel like, I th like, I don't feel like, I th like, I don't feel like I don't feel like I don't feel like I don't feel like I don't feel like I don't feel like I don't feel like I that I don't feel like I don't feel like I that I that I that I that I that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't feel like that I don't feel like that I don't feel like that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. th like I th like I th like I th like I th like I th like the like the, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, like I'm just not that person to be like, this is the, this is me and that, you know, it's just kind of like all flowing. So I don't, that's like what I have to offer is my perspective, although it's fine if people don't want to talk about politics and they're probably, I guess, Republican if they don't want to. But yeah, I consider myself more an advocate. I have a political organization generator and I'm going on tour in March and

every city that I do stand-up in we're doing a voter empowerment dance party with generator. Are you and then like are they gonna get like registered to vote or any? Yeah, so at the stand-up shows. You're tricking people with like club. That's what you're doing. That's like one of the most gangster things I've ever heard. That's like, are going to be in a club. Oh, and then in the middle of the club, the lights come and it's like, all right, registered a vote. You guys want to register to vote. Literally, it is so dorky.

It's, you know, we're, my co- announcement, ha ha ha, but seriously, synagogue announcement. And then, uh, yeah. And then we give information about upcoming local elections. In the middle of the party. I mean, you know. No, I love this idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think, like, I think DJs have run out of things to say, personally. They're like, How long have we been putting our hands in the air? How long have we been waving them around like we just don't care?

The roof has been on fire. No one's gonna put that thing out. That's right. You get what I'm saying? But now this, I think all the DJs. The planet is all the call, Bim, bin, bim, bim. Yeah, that's right. I love it. I love it. I hope everybody does it. I hope everybody watches your comedy

and enjoys both Elanas that are doing both things. Very funny. Thank you so much for being on the show. The Planet is burning is available on Amazon Prime. And her horny for the polls. Alana Glaze, everybody. The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more.

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Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.