The Daily Show: Ears Edition - From the Archives: Gabrielle Union on "We're Going to Need More Wine" - Extended Interview

Episode Date: August 23, 2018

Gabrielle Union discusses her book "We're Going to Need More Wine," which reflects on her experiences as a black actress in Hollywood and a sexual assault survivor. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Roy Chang. You probably know me as the co-host of the Daily Show of Trevor Noah.

I know it's weird they put his name in the title, not mine, but anyway. My new show, Ronnie Chang International Student is coming to the Comedy Central app, co-written by and starring yours truly. Ronnie Chang International Student is the mostly true story of my time as a law student in Australia. That's right, this accent is Australian. So download a Comedy Central app on like any device ever made except I don't know, a toma gogy and stream my show Ronnie Chan International Students. Then download the Comy Central app on your friend's device when they're not looking so they can stream Ronnie

Cian international students because don't be selfish. My guest tonight is an actor, activist, and now a best-selling author on the New York Times. Her new book is called, We're Going to Need More Wine. Please welcome. Gabriel Union. Welcome to the show. Well, thank you. This is so amazing having you on and especially for something as fantastic as this book. I've always admired you. I've always loved your movies. I've always loved what you're doing in your career. But this book is a little piece of everything. It's sad, it's funny, it's complicated, it's you.

It's me. Was it frightening putting everything down between these two covers? No, it was actually freeing and liberating. And then we started sending it to people and they started coming back with feedback like, so brave. And I was like, have I said too much? That's when it got terrifying. Right.

Because you just, you know, I write my truth. And you just, you're just like tossing your baby to the crowd hoping somebody catches. Right, you genuinely do write your truth. And you talk about so many places people are going to get angry at me but I there were there were so many parts there were so many parts that I found like inspirational and interesting like one one story for instance that I wanted you to talk about was was Prince who you credit with putting you in touch with Duane Wade and your marriage really yeah why do you say that

Prince is the reason you got married I was was headed to a Prince party. We were on the elevator. It was me, Puff, Vanessa Manillo, and I think Neil Long, you know, random group of people all headed to this Prince party. And DeWayne's brothers got on the same elevator. He was in town playing whatever, L.A. And they were like, my brother has the biggest crush on you. And I was like, OK, that's very sweet. Did you know who the brother was? No, no. Oh, OK, OK. No.

And they're stepbrothers. So they don't. Right, right. Like you bear an uncanny resemblance to the young fellow from Miami. And they were like, you know, we're doing the Super Bowl party party, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their............................. their...... their... their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. the the th. the the th. the the th him. Wow. What I enjoyed was how you talked about the Prince party. People knew the Prince threw some epic, epic parties. But what was really interesting was how you talked about the significance of those parties. Because what he created was a world where people got to meet.

Why was that so significant for you? Well, as creatives we generally are completely segregated. In LA, in New York, you know, there's black actor parties, there's black Hollywood parties, there's white Hollywood parties, and every so often there's like a sprinkle that gets added to, you know the white parties and you're then the special magical negro. You know the ones. So, but it's very rarely like super diverse. And if you're not in those rooms or at those parties and you have a chance to really get

to know people, we hire our friends. But if you're never a friend, you don't get hired. So Prince brought all of these amazing, super diverse people to his parties and created a truly inclusive, you know, party. Right. And it was amazing. When you talk about black Hollywood, sometimes people really don't understand what that means.

We're like, Gabriel, you're an actress. I see you in movies. I know that you're famous. One of the most powerful lines you wrote about in the book is, you say you've been acting your whole life. You know that in many many the the the the the the the most the most the most thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to thi, to to to to to to to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, the thooooooooooooooooooooooooom.. You know that in many ways you've been relegated to roles that you are forced to play, and that's all you're given access to. And the line that's stuck with me, and forgive me if I paraphrase it wrong, but you basically said, I've acted in my entire life,

and most white actors would see my career and look at it the same way they look at breadcrumbs. Yes. It's it's nothing and yet it's it's all you have. Yeah. Why do you have that feeling and what does that mean to you? Well it's it's for the same reason why you know Taraji Pihenson had been nominated for an Oscar, you know she'd been the star of films and she'd been around for literally 20 years. Right. And suddenly we discovered her as Cookie Lion. And Black America was like, no, we knew Tarragi for about 20 years. Y'all are late. She's been amazing for a long time. So when they look at my career and they see a movie like Delivers.

Or the Brothers or Two Can Play That Game, all movies that had tiny budgets that did 10 times their budget, which should be considered blockbusters. Yes. But they're considered niche, they're black movies, or why we look at the movie like Girls Trip this summer as, oh my look at that little black movie go as opposed to that little black movie kicked everybody's ass. Right. Right. But when you look at creators of color based on the budgets that we're given and what we're able to do, there are so many superstars that never get acknowledged. You speak about in the book the challenge of living as a black woman and then also just working as an actor. And some people say, don't bring up the fact that you're black.

Just be an actor and move on with your life. And you talk about how tough it is to balance those two because you want to be considered an actor, which you are, but at the same time you cannot deny that I could just be like, now forget this. Right. Dooloo, doo-loo. And they're like, she's not black at all, it turns out.

Like, I would be so interested to know how many rooms I could get in. But because they still use phrases like, ah, we're not going to go black with that character. And I'm like, well, I mean, this is us, is a very popular show. And I will admit, before I actually watch an episode, I'm like, they're all related. How? Right. You know, it'd be like the lawyer couldn't be black or brown or Asian.

Yes. And it's like, why didn't envision it that way? I'm like, I bet there's no black people on your the their their their their their their their their their their th. your mantle or in frames at your house either. Your social circle has to expand so your world can expand because obviously just like choosing people based on merit is like not your jam. So somehow I've got to figure out a way to, you know, to somehow present myself as human to you. Which you refuse to see. So no, I wish I had the luxury of saying, I'm just an actress, but I'm not. I'm a black woman and my acting is completely informed by my blackness. Wow.

Are any of you currently casting film or television projects? Because I really feel included in like I might have a seat at any one of your tables. There are moments in the book where, you know, that's why I say it's a complex book which I truly enjoyed because of how complex the story is. There is the acting side, there is the woman's side, there is the side of you that is the woman's side, there is the side of you that is now playing the role of a mother. I just wanted to read this passage real quick where you talk about raising these four boys in a house with Duane and you talk about here where you go, I'm also very conscious that I'm helping to raise young black men in a world where they are often in danger. I have watched them grow and I've watched the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world world the world world world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world as the world as the world as the world as the world as the world as the world as their the world as the world is the world is the world is the world's perception of them change as they do.

When you raise a young black man in a world where you feel like they're in danger, how do you even begin that conversation and what does that conversation mean to you? I just jump in, you know, I just jump in because the more I hesitate, the more the black bodies are mounting up, the more hashtags. By the time I figured out the right entry point, there's five more hashtags. Right. Of people being murdered for their blackness.

Because in this country, we have, and around the world, we have weaponized, demonized, and deemed blackness inherently threatening. And in a state like Florida, where we live and we're raising our kids, it's an open-carry state and it's a stand-your-ground state. So all our neighbors would have to do to get away with killing our children is to say they're frightened. And somewhere after like eight or nine, little black boys go from, oh my god they're so cute, I actually might adopt one to clutch the pearls. And in that transition, our children are being murdered. might adopt one to clutch the pearls. And in that transition, our children are being murdered.

Our children are being profiled. Our children are being othered. Our children are being disciplined differently. Our children are being taught differently. And so while we're all waiting for that perfect entry point of how do you even have this discussion, how do I tell my kids, it's safest if you just like didn't exist? Because that would make a lot of people a lot more comfortable. Comfort is something that you haven't always had the luxury of.

And in the book, one of the most gripping chapters is when you speak about your experience with sexual assault. In the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, once again, you know, your story came to the lights. And you speak very candidly in the book about being raped. It's devastating, it's honest, and it's heartbreaking because you speak about how you had to take that back home with you. There's a moment where you speak about your dad looking into your eyes,

and if I find it here, it's one of the moments where you... You speak about... I don't even need to find in the book, because I remember it. You basically say your dad looked at you, and he was your favorite, you were his favorite because you were so alike. But in that moment, you looked into his eyes, and you could see him thinking, she's broken. I've lost a piece of her. I couldn't protect her. Shame, fear, guilt.

All of these things combined. Two questions I have regarding that. One, how did you work to overcome what had happened to you, what somebody had done to you? And secondly, looking at the Harvey Weinstein scandal, looking at the scandal that men are embroiled in when it comes to sexual assault? What do you think we could be doing better to move this conversation forward to get action? Well, the first part of your question, therapy.

And it's always weird to say that I had the luxury of being raped in a very affluent community with an underworked police department and an underutilized rape crisis center. My workman's comp kicked right in. Within the week, I got into therapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapape th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. the. the the..therapy. I had parents that were like this is a problem that's bigger than us and we can't isolate you out of this. You know a lot of you know rape rape survivors are sort of people think that they can just sort of insulate them into wellness. My parents are like this is bigger than us.

You need professional help. So literally as my face was still battered, I was unrecognizable, I went to my first therapy session. And I've been in therapy for the last 25 years and I credit that with my wholeness, my soul being patched back together. And what can we do? My dad was guilty of this. And when this was part of his sadness, the idea that you can price your way out of bad things happening to you or your children or your families, that you, if you just move into the right suburb, if you send your kids to the right school, if they have just the right friends, if they wear just the right thing, if we educate them, all of these things that th- th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. If thi. If thi. If thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. these things that we think insulate us from bad things happening,

and recognize that's not true, anyone, anywhere at any time can be the victim of sexual violence. Anywhere at any time can be the victim of sexual harassment. And the reason why more people aren't more open with it is because, like in my case, even though I was raped by a stranger at gunpoint at work while wearing a tunic and leggings, I was still asked by a female friend what I had on. We have to call sexual violence what it is, whether that's violence as words, violence as action, violence as behavior, we have let's call it what it is and stop it in its tracks. I have a story about my my godson,

Jack, he was in the middle of a soccer game and his coach was yelling at him, you know, yelling at the crew, you're, you're acting like a bunch of girls and he's like, that's sexist. Like right there. And I was like, but there was this idea that maybe maybe Jack should have waited for just the right moment. You know, maybe after the game or maybe when he wasn't, you know, I'm surrounded by people. Pull him to the side. And I was like, screw that, Jack. You did the right thing. You call it out as you see it. There's never going to be a good time

to address terrible behavior. Address it in the moment when you see it. Because we've all been complicit in allowing us to go on, whether that's cat work or in our families. We've all seen the aunt with the like super sloppy kiss. Come here baby, give the baby a kiss. And you're like, don't be that way. Give auntie a kiss. And we override kids' discomfort. We've all been complicit. We've all done it.

So how we help is it, let's call a thing a thing and call it out as it's happening. Wow. I, uh, because one, one, one part of the book I have to ask you about, which I thoroughly enjoyed is how proudly sex positive you are. Yes. And this is something I always enjoyed because it genuinely reminds me of my mom. My mom used to, my mom. My mom to is how proudly sex positive you are. Yes. And this is something I always enjoyed. Because it genuinely reminds me of my mom.

My mom used to embarrass me so much because she would always want to talk about sex. And I'd be like, no, you're a mom. And she's like, how do you think I made you, baby? And I'd be like, no. Do you know what I mean? And it really is beautiful because it's part of the conversation. You know, you speak about in the book, you're proud of it in the book, and you talk about how, you know, you have these young girls who speak to,

a younger generation who say, you know, I'm comfortable, I watch porn, and I have sex, and I have sex, and you talk about in the book how some of these young girls will go, yeah, I suck my friends, you know, and th., and th., and th., and th., and th, and th, you, you, you, th, you, th, you, you, you, th, you, you, you, you, you, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'f-dick, you know, and that's it. And you say, well, does he go down on you? And they're like, no. And you're like, well, that's not a good friendship, then. Sex is something that's supposed to be mutually beneficial. Yes. And if you're going to be super proud about, you know, fallin. He better be just the second marriage. about his conilingus skills. Let's keep it a hundred, right? We're gonna just, you know.

This is the second marriage. So when I'm talking about sex, there hasn't been one penis in my life. And the idea that I just was magically waiting until I, like, my early 40s for DeWain Wade's penis to show up. Um... penis to show up. So, the sex I talk about in the book, just know it's been going on since the late 80s.

So, there you go. We're going to need more wine. Is available now. You'll love the book as much as you love her. Gabriel Union, everybody. The Daily Show with Trevnoa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more.

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