The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Gatorade vs. Powerade | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: August 12, 2023

“Because Gatorade has been tried and true and tested on real professional college athletes, you know that it has all of the things.” - Dulcé Sloan“Let me just let you know that Powerade got me where I am today, okay. It helped me from falling out on that field. ” - Josh JohnsonIt’s Gatorade vs. Powerade, the ultimate sports drink duel, this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.   Original air date: March 9, 2023See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. So you're saying power aid is better because somebody put a frintstone vitamin in that bitch?

And let it dissolve, yes, it tastes better, is better for you? What's Gatorade doing besides getting dumped on the back of coaches next? Gatorade out here, lazy, trifling, all right? Powered for them work. Wait a minute. Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Hold Up.

It's a big show about pretty, pretty small things, pretty little, pretty insignificant. I am one of your co-hosts, my name is Josh Johnson, I'm a writer for the Daily Show, and I am joined by Do Say Sloan, Don't say Sloan. Yeah. I'm a chorus writer on the Daily Show and just genuinely the person who annoys Josh the most because if I won't do it, who will? Hmm? Great question. So we come to you today humbly.

Seeking your approval. we seek your validation because we are diametrically opposed. As usual, but this time, I think there's a line in the sand. I think that I can't see any concessions being drawn. I can't see us really coming to any common ground at all. Today's topic is power aid versus Gatorade, okay? Which one do you drink more if you drink either? Which one leaves you feeling hydrated and which one just makes you feel a little ill?

I'll say as someone who never really enjoyed gatorade, but realize that there were absolutely no beneficial qualities to power aid. Because with gatory you could taste that it was like salty. You're like, oh, I might be getting something out of this. But there's so much sugar in a power aid, I feel like I'm drinking coulet. So that's why I can't condone or participate. Also, I don't see, like remember, like also remember when we were in like, because when did you graduate from high school?

Uh, 2008? Okay, so you just, oh, no, you were seven years after me, never mind. I don't, I was in high school when Power Raid was like popping, popping. Mm-hmm. And so like you see everybody drinking a Power rain and whatever and I'm just like this can't, this doesn't taste like it's being helping. This don't taste like it's restoring anything. I just feel like I'm drinking. This is this is an uncarbonated soda. So I only go Gatorade because Gatorade taste like, the the tholtera th is is is is is is is is is is is is is there's is there's is there's is there's is a there's is a there's is a little there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. their-a. their-a-a-a-a-a-a-like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's is like, it's is like, it's is like, it's is like, it's is like, it's is like, it's is like, it's is like, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-I's a their-I's like, I's like, Iastes like, okay, you can taste there's a little like saltiness to a Gatorade, just because of the electrolytes and shit, and then, but there's the sweetness so you'll keep fucking drinking it. So Gatorade I'll go with only because I feel like it might actually be doing something.

PowerAid is just an uncarbonated, it's a softer. Okay, all right. So let's, let's, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's a there's a there's a the.a.a.a. There's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's, there's,, it's a softer. Okay, all right, so let's, let's, those are some great opening points. Some of them were actually correct. A couple of them were really on point, okay? But power aid, what you understand about power, what you understand about the power that we're coupled with power rate, okay, is that power rate actually has less calories and more micronutrients than gatorate. You were right about the salt. What is a... What is the micronutrients in there are vitamins? the the the micronutrients in there are vitamins B6 and 12 as well as magnesium like we're coming through with actual sustenance

So you're so just because you googled what the hell was in a power aid you know You didn't know what was in a get you did not know before two seconds ago while I was talking Uh-huh not a damn thing about what all up be in these powers of AIDS. Okay, you knew. Yeah. Would you rather, even in the wording, would you rather have Gator Aid or Power Aid? Would you rather have the aid to be powered or the aid of Gator? Do you know where Gator A got its name from?

Florida, right? Florida Gators. Now I don't give shit, but Because I'm not a Gator fan, I'm a fan of anything that's not UGA. Fine. Okay. Because Gator A. Mm-hmm. Have been tried. and tested on real professional college athletes.

You know it has all of the things the nutrientase okay. Not a word. What you're talking about? Listen it's got it the earliest version of it consisted of water, sodium, sugar, potassium, phosphate, and lemon juice. Okay. Okay. Gatoray was the reason that the Florida Gators won in their first orange bowl over the Georgia techs. Okay. How is it the reason? How, how, what, what reason? They said it was a contri. They the c? They the c? They the c? They the c? They the c? They the c. They the c. They the c. They the word. They the word? They the word. They the word. They the word. They the word. They the word. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. their, their, sugar, their, sugar, sugar, sugar, potassium, potassium, potassium, potassium, potassium, potassium, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. Su, their. Su. T. T. They their. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're they was. They're they were. They're they were they're they're they're they're they're. They're they're they're they're they're they're their, their, they're their, their, their, their, their, their first orange bowl over the Georgia Tech yellow jackets. Okay? How is it the reason?

How, what? They said it was a contributing factor. So it is a key. They're saying it's a performance enhancing drug. The team credited Gatorade. Okay, all right. The coach. Mm-hmm.

No, no, no, the star quarterback. Not doping. Water, no, no, the star quarterback, not doping. Water, you think water and sodium and sugar and potassium? I don't know what goes to their big bodies to help them move big bodies. I don't know anything about that. I'm just saying it sounds like doping to me. Sodio, water, sugar, potassium and phosphates. Mm-hmm. What's in those phosphates? Doping? What's it the phosphates? Check the phosphates. Okay, check the phosph-

What's it? What's the phosph- I don't know what the phosphates is? I don't phosphorus me. Okay, a phosphate is in an an salt, salt, salt functional group or ester derived from a phosphoric acid. So basically it's more salt. Does it have a bunch of chemistry stuff next to it when you Google it? Yes. Okay, in like can it? Hold on. Doping. No, no, this is a naturally occurring thing in nature. Okay, hold on. So it's dope. P. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Because you looked up all that shit with, now, not, now this is the thing, this is

just the early, this is just the early chemical makeup. Mm-hmm, okay? Okay. Mm-hmm. All right. They got a kind of, thirst quenchers, because for a long time all they had was lemon, thin, thin, oroughed, they started getting more flavors in the mid-n't, theeeeageagease, let, let, let, thease, thease, thease, the??? the, the? the, the, the, the, the, the? the? the? the? the? thi, thi, the? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the? This is, thi, thi? This is, thi? This is just, thi? This is just, thi? This is just, thii? This is, thi? This is, thi? This is, the getting more flavors in the mid-90s. As I remember like people just talking about, oh Gatorade ice, yeah I don't know what that was about but there was a, oh I remember G2, Gatorade Rain, Gatorade Tiger was a

Gatorade Thurst Quencher, okay as a result of I guess juicing Tiger Woods. Okay. They put them in a machine and squeeze them. This is the thing. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thin I thin I thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi theateat. I the the. I the. I theatory theatory th. I remember Okay. They put them in a machine and squeeze them. This is the thing. I think that the flavors of Gatorade went a bit wild, went a little too far, stopped becoming flavors and started becoming just experiments. So you're telling me that this Gatorade Frost, Glacier freeze. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean it is just blue. Yeah, it's just gross. No, no.

No, no. That gross. Blue. I don't know what a glacier tastes like. Yeah. And you also, there's a Glac glacier freeze and a glacier something else too. So glacier is just a sort of accent mark on the taste of freeze. But this is giving me, this says rehydrate, replenish, refuel, refuel, refuel, refuel,

theylues to help replenish what you lose and sweat, carbs to help fuel, refuel, working muscles. Because of people don't know is that sugar is a carb so people like I'm cutting out carbs I'm cutting out cards getting out carbs guess what motherfuckers you can't have fruit yeah dude we work with he was on the keto yeah he couldn't have fruit unless I mean the fruit you can have a blueberry. But you don't have blueberries and you can have, but you can't have watermelon, you can't have pomegranate. You can't have anything that's like high in sugar.

And you can't have anything that, maybe this isn't fair to say, but I feel like all the hearty fruits. I know when I was working on my my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my on my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the three. three. the the the the thirty. the hearty. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thartyartyartyarty. tree. treea. treea. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. t on my meal plan I couldn't have any tropical fruits. Oh okay. I could have apples and berries. I could have what category of fruit is an apple? I don't know but apples got a lot of fiber so you don't want to load up on too many apples. Because it makes your poops. Yep. That's good. That's good. Oh I remember when I was in Chicago I was in Chicago I was just telling somebody about this. I'm sure I remember what I was talking to. When I was in Chicago, I was like, this is so bad. Oh no, I'm so excited.

I didn't have any money. And so I went to a grocery store, I saw a bag of apples. I was like, that's dinner. And I was just a dinner, like alluded to it, just ate four apples. And, you know, it's a lot of chew it, so you get tired of chew it, and you get full off of just really trying to break down apples at your mouth. And then that is way too much fiber. That had me sat down pressed. You shaking together and running over. What I'm saying is, you should at least had some peanut butter. That had some oil. Hey, I'm with you.

I understand. I recognize my mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. Bro, sometimes these stories you tell, I'm like, I'm so glad that Josh is in a better place. Listen, all I know is, I'm so glad that Josh is in a better life. Listen, all I know is, ah. Don't act like you really believe in it because you just already had it there.

Don't act like you went and got a real Gatorade. I did already have this because I was dehydrated. Yeah, but if you had known better, you would have got a power rate. No, if I'd have known better, I'd have got a pediolite. Fair enough, fine. I'm just saying. Fair enough. But the thing is, I have not seen a power aid in years.

Go to CVS. Is it still in business? Yeah, go to a Dwayrie. What? Yeah, go to any, I don't know. I feel like even even the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. I'm. I'm. thea. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. toea. I'm. I'm. thea. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.ne Re. What? Yeah, go to any, I don't know, I feel like even the sports armor store sells them. Sports armor? Oh, sorry, under armor. That's my bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a little tired and I let what I was thinking mash up with what I was saying. Let me say something. Hmm them under armor shirts started becoming outer armor shirts Real quick right real quick the level of confidence people have to wear those underarmers, but just casually.

The idea because first of all you know how skin tight those things are? They are a body stocking for a man. They soak up every part of you. It is the closest to a hug a lot of people have had. They're male spanks because... It's wild. What I can say is in my life. I've seen, the men that I've seen wearing under armor as

outerwear are never men that play sports. Yeah. And I'm like, what are we doing here? What's happening? It's very interesting what it did because it's like, know you see this man who you know is not playing a sport because it because they are they moisture wicking I I have no idea what you just said moisture wicking meaning that you wear them under your clothes when you're playing a sport because it pulls sweat away from the body. Now, I didn't, I don't think so. I don't want to lie on them, but I don't think so.

The thing is that what I found it does and what I think a lot of guys think that it does for them is that because it's skin tight. Give it that body a arty. Yeah if there's any muscle definition that you have at all yeah under armor will follow it so it's like you'll see dudes with even a decent back right like even I love a good back I love arms up I'm an arms part I'm an arm's bit like a man like just a nice Uh-huh, not like hugs so

A nice arm, yeah, but I do the some men do have a very weird hands E what? Yeah, some men have weird hands. I don't like that. What are you talking about? His hands are just weird. Weird, how? You don't? You don't? You don't go? You don't? Oh, they don't? Oh, they? Oh, th, huh? Oh, they? Oh, they? Oh, they? Oh, they? Oh, they? I? I? I? I? I? I they're? I they're? I, they're? I they're like? I like, they're like, they they th? I like, th? I like, the the th, th th th th th th th th th hugs? I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi? I like, their thi? I like, thi? I like, thi thi thi thumbs? I like like like, I like, I like, thi thi thi thi? I't like it. What are you talking about? His hands are just weird. Weird how? You don't, he don't go right. What does go right mean? Like you ever seen a man whose hands are too small for his body? I hope not. What?

I have seen it. They look like muppets. Just little, like grown men with little kid hands. Like if you're a man who's like I'm a woman who's five for it. Okay. If you're a man who's taller than me but who hands are smaller than mine, I'm worried. Because it's weird. I don't want to hold your hand and be the big spoon. Wow. okay.

Didn't even know that that, wow. I feel like I just woke you up. Yeah, that was, that was insane. Um, I like hands, I like arms, I pay attention to those things. What? So the guy who came up with it was Kevin Plank. He said as a fullback of the University of Maryland, Plank got tired of having to change out of the sweat soaked t-shirts worn under his jersey.

However he noticed that his compression shorts worn during practice stayed dry. This inspired him to make a t-shirt using moisture wicking synthetic material. So yeah. So moisture ricking and he that's wild. I came, wow, you really called it. Yeah. I don't even know what half a compression stuff is for, really. Well, I think my homework was telling me that he wore compression shorts when he played football or baseball. One of them sports to keep his man parked still. I think it would keep them still. I think you're right. Just to stop him from banging into each other.

That is tough when you're running and you won't go faster. That's not happening. Wait, so testicles banging to each other? Yeah. What? Like, like, with, you mean within or next to stuff? Within? Like, other, in between your legs?

Not, no, not really. Not like, I thought you meant, do they bang into stuff as in like swinging from side to side, do they hit thigh? Does that happen? 100 percent, yes, yes, the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thu thu thu thuic thuic thuic thuic- thuic- thuic- thus thus thus thus thus. thi. thiuic, thi. thi. tho, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. What thi. What thi. thi. thi. What thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea. Like, thea. Like, thea. Like, like, like, like, like, to side, do they hit thigh? Does that happen? 100%? Yes. They are a pendulum shape. If you get, if you get old enough, now I don't know how true this is. Oh, they'll hit the water in the toilet. No, no, no.

What? I've heard that too, but that's not where I was going, it took me... Oh, I feel like the water and that toilet was just too high. Maybe. You don't know how long they get. I don't. So the underarmed shorts makes sense because it's like the comp- Okay, so you don't want your man parts to be moving a bit. I do.

There was a day you would, I think it's you and Devon but mainly you get so annoyed with me because I asked you if you had to pee. What? Could you just put your finger on the end of it and stop to be from coming out? Sometimes you do ask questions that make me worry about, like have you, have you met Mr. Pinas? Only reason I ask that questions because I know, if I have to pee and I have to wait, I can squeeze my thighs together. Or wrap my, or like, you know, put my legs one over the other.

Yeah. Men don't have that option because everything's in front yeah like if you put your legs together nothing happens yeah so like you think that like the I have to pee kind of thing and it's just like yeah you're not doing anything you just got to bend it in half like a hose what do you mean? Is it? John Stewart here.

Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. What has one sugar in it? Let's see. Okay. Power A versus Gatorade.

It already came up here. B. Huh. Huh. Sorry, I don't need to be doing that. Um. Sorry, I don't need to be doing that. It's power aid better for you than gatory. Gatorade contains 160 milligrams of sodium and 45 milligrams of potassium per service. Whereas power aid contains

150 milligrams of sodium potassium per serving in comparison, Gatorade is slightly better at replacing lost electrolytes. Depending on if that's what you need. Do you need some B6? Do you need some B12? Do you need some rehydration alongside it? You know? Maybe Gatorade is over here like, ooh, I got electrolytes.

I got some salt in it in case you want to get thirsty. I got some lemon water in case you hate your life. Okay, fine. What sports drink is best for hydration? Best overall? Gatorade. Ooh, body armor. I tried this drink. It's actually pretty good.

So who conducted the study? Let's see. Was it Gatorade.com? Ha ha ha ha ha. Let's see who conducted this. Is it a reputable source? Reputable? Reputable?

Rip, rep, beautiful. It was Food Network. that theyp. that's. And you're going to trust them. You're going to touch the, what is it, Dives, dig-ins and dashes? Huh? Is that who you want ouch trust the was it dives dig-ins and dashes Huh Is that who you watch trust? Do another three do another three is that we want to trust you want to put your faith in

In in a dinner destitute and and dogs huh? Ma'am ma'am. Hmm. Do you want to put your faith in dugouts, ditches, and drains? The test was right. Listen, this is from Dana-Angelo White, MSRD. Another D. Okay, suspicious.

She's a registered dietitian, certified athletic trainer, an owner of Dana White Nutrition Inc. with specializes in culinary and sports nutrition. She's the one that did it. She wrote the article. She's the owner of Dana White Nutrition, lots of D's laxatiati. Ma'am. She's got some recipes mm-hmm yeah keep making that face

I'm just saying I'm throwing out there this is the person that you want to teach you to dip dive dodge this is not guy fiaty okay mm-hmm she said best overall best overall, Gatorade. So my thing is- Your friend Power Aid. Yeah, yeah. Wasn't even on the list. Mm-hmm.

So all the thing is- this list because it exists. I trust the list because the nutritionist made it. Okay. Also now hold on. What are the best drinks to replace electrolytes? Here are eight electrolyte rich beverage. You may want to add to your health and wellness toolkit. One, coconut water or coconut juice. Two, milk. Oh, what? Milk?

That doesn't sound right. At all. If you worked out and then you had a tall glass of milk, I think your day is over. This is not 1952. No one is exercising than having milk. What do you mean no one? They're putting them on electrolyte lists. Hold on. Are there...

I hope somebody didn't just swerve their car when they fucking heard milk. Yeah. The way that I... I swirved my inserts. Bro. In addition to its... Okay. Are there electrolytes and milk is what I googled.

In addition to its rich supply of electrolytes like calcium, sodium, and potassium, milk provides a healthy combination of carbs and protein. These are two macro nutrients, these two macro nutrients can help you refuel and promote muscle tissue repair after a workout. Oh, so when you hurt your boob, you should have been drinking milk. Never me. You don't like milk? I don't like it enough to drink it after a workout. Like at what point, imagine if you finished a race and somebody haddle you a glass of milk,

you'd be like, I didn't know you wanted to fight. I'm gonna have to come up with a own power-rate slash gatorate if milk is doing such a great job. With all of the signs that I have read, is that no one can tell me why power-aid is even worth drinking. Wow, I feel like I've been telling you the entire time. It's not a conversation. It's a hundred percent in the conversation. The articles are out. It's been pricicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicica tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thate thate. thate. tha- tha- thate. thateateateateate. tha- tha- th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tha. tha. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha to to to to tha to tha tha tooooooooooooooooooooo tha. not a conversation. The articles in the conversation. The articles are out. It's been proven. The articles are hack. Okay? Remember that. You are too sleepy to have this conversation with me.

No, I'm awake. You're what? And I'll tell you right now. Tell me what. I don't care what Dana White's nutrition says on dip, dive, dash, drink, and drool, okay? These are not real stats. You want to get hydrant, you hit that power rate. But it's a proven fact that there is literally more milligrams of potassiums and things. Once you talk about milligrams, you lost me. Once you talk about milligrams and not really getting it in, when you're not talking about getting in the nutrients that you need, wholly, right, fully,

okay? Then, I'm not gonna hear this conversation. So you're saying power aid is better because somebody put a frintstone vitamin in that bitch? And let it dissolve, yes, it tasks better, is better for you? What's Gatorade doing besides getting, trifle, all right? Powered for them, work. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Hey the mince. I'm a menace. You know what's a real menace. Not the back of coaches next. Yeah. Ah, you are a menace. I'm a menace. Yeah. You are a menace! I'm a menace? You know what's a real menace?

Gatorade's a menace, all right? The most excited kids get about Gatorade is to dump it. No. Yeah. No, no one's even drinking Power Aid though. Listen, that's what I'm saying. At least Gatoray gave you hydration through the game and game and then you won now it's a celebratory act. Okay, power aid ain't even on the field. Power eight ain't even come to practice.

Whenever they want to dump a gatorade on a coach, isn't it always full? Why is it always full? Because nobody's drinking it. They bought it, but they didn't drink it. They've been playing for four out. this game was four hours long. You only think they got one container? You bake a fresh batch. Put ice in it and then you make this coat sticky for the next three months.

You're gonna, you're gonna put ice. You know there's multiple coolers that Gatorade outside, stop it. In an already worthless drink. You're telling me you're gonna you you you you you you you you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you you're gonna you're gonna they they they they they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna have they're gonna have they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna have they're gonna they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna have they're gonna have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they're they're gonna they're they're they're multiple coolers that Gatorade outside. Stop it. In an already worthless drink, you're telling me you're going to have reserve Gatorade to dump on top of the real Gatorade that you drink? That's not happening. I'm interested in what Gatora to the ground, all right? Does that grass grow hard or does it die or what does it do? That grass grows better than any grass. Really? That grass has nutrients. Okay. You think that grass has... That grass has electrolytes. Are you serious right? That grass don't even need electrolytes. If you pour Gatorade into a farm's soil and then you let the grass grow and then you let a cow eat the grass, by the time you eat the burger, the cow would be like, you don't want to eat that.

I'm not good. Can Gator Raid make plants grow faster because we've all been in the eighth grade? Okay, let's go ahead. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. This is the most research we've ever had on a fucking episode. This is the first time we've ever been accurate about anything. Oh, man, we just be guessing. Plants need a mixture of water, light, okay, somebody must use the comma. Plants need a mixture of water, light, water and soil with a lot of nutrients and minerals in it. Oh, what the fuck? Who wrote this?

Adding gatterages the soil will stunt the plants' growth before it even starts. This happens as a result of the added sugar from Gatorade. Now, to your point, to make it fair, will power aid. I can already see where this is going. I'll tell you right now, maybe the research hadn't be on to the hidden effects of power aid. How much power it gives you, how much aid it aids you. We concluded that power raid does not help a plant grow. Haters. We also came to the conclusion that it is best to give a plant water. You not read that. Niggins, I'm telling you what it says. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show.

It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second.

I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Did you ever play football? Come on. Okay, sorry, you played a sport? This thing is said, come on. Yeah, let's not. Let's act like we know each other, you know what I mean? Sustain. Sustain. Uh, yeah, I play a little bit of soccer and we would, we would, we know each other, you know what I mean? Sustain, sustain. Uh, yeah, I play a little bit of soccer and we would, we would sometimes have

orange slices on the sideline and some power raid. And what? Power rate. That's where I first had power eight was playing soccer, yeah. You had gatorade, don't lie. Look, some kids brought their dusty gatorade to practice and some and I'm sure it helped keep them slow and the rest of the kids had power aid so so I think the only reason them you

you bullying them you I think you fuck a power rate so heavy because it's got the word power in it. Yeah, because here's the thing. This is what people don't understand about sports, all right. This is what they don't understand about physical activity, okay? What they understand about strength and conditioning. About what? All right? Strength and conditioning. You said strength? You said strength? You know your Louisiana accent hopped out? That's what I know. I know it. They don't know but I know. You need power to pull off all of these, okay? You need Jesus. And when you need power, where do you go to something that doesn't even have it in the name or do you go to power aid? You know I mean? Do you do go ahead and if you need a big squat? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the to to the to the to the to to to the to to their to their to their their to their their to their to to to to to to to to to to their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. have it in the name or do you go to power aid? You know what I mean? Do you go ahead and if you need a big squat, right, let's say let's say you're trying to try to hit a PR in the gym, PR is a personal record for those that don't know.

You try to get that power going, you need some power aid, all right? Why are you saying like that? parade, all right? Why are you saying like that? Just to emphasize how important it is. Power! Yeah. I would have believe that order. P. No, no, sometimes you have to say things between your tea. Yeah, like whenever your mom wanted to scare you should be like, you're true. That is true. It's also because it's like, duh. I'm, I'm true. You know I'm trying not to yell. I don't. I'm. I'm. I like, I'm, you know I'm trying not to yell. I don't remember, I don't know how I said I was when one of my friends went time, but I did the talking through the teeth thing. And my friend went, oh shit. Yeah, because it's like when someone talks to you between their teeth, it's like they already bit you. That's so funny. That's that's the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the level the the the the th. That's th. That's the th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's tho th. That's thi tho tho tho tho tho tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the.'re like, get over here. Come here. Here.

Your mouth. Did not say not to ask for any skittles? It is a thing that children will get you to that place. Yeah. Yeah. Because now you'll see these videos. You saw that dude straight up press his teacher, like really want to fight his teacher. Do that's always happened. No their tha. tha. tha. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. to to thi. thi. thiats. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. too. too. too. too. tooes. too. tooes. tooes. to to tooes. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. the thi. the thi. thi. the the. the theatseats. the the the the theatseats. the the theats. theats. theats. thi. thi. thi. thi.'s always happened. No. Okay, there's a video of like the reason this one went viral though is because the teacher did swing on him, right? Is the black boy? He was? He was,

what, once you move on? I believe he was Hispanic and the teacher was black, right? And the kid is like up and like in his face and everything, and I didn't watch a whole video because I was just like I don't need to spend my day doing this but it was just like he was really presid up and no one obviously I don't expect the other students to do anything but people forget people always have an opinion on when people swing no matter who it is but people forget that before anyone ever swings there's usually like there was in this situation people holding up cameras filming instead of helping and then people just being the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th just th just th just th just th just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thus just just just just just just just just just th. thus thus th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th. th is just th is just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the thi thi the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeee theeee theeeee the the the the thi was just the the th's usually, like there was in this situation, people holding up cameras filming instead of helping, and then people just being bystanders instead of getting in the way and trying to diffuse it.

So it's like, you could be doing your best to be like, sit down, get out, whatever, whatever. And then if somebody's like in your face, in your face, at a certain point of being your face, ah, I don't know what to to tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell you tell you their tell. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. their. th. their. their. And, thi. their. their. their. their. And then, their. And then, their. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, th. And, th. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, don't know what to tell you. Like, I mean, you just, there's an instinct that kicks in, you know? At a certain point, because it's like, when I think about like my male friends would tell me like, when they got to a certain age I would then challenge their father. Mm-hmm. And he, and I was like, what happened? He's like, but every friend was like, my dad punched me in my chest. Yeah. And then I sat the fuck down. Also, like that, that's the other thing too is it's like, I don't know what this kid's home life was. I don't know what, I don't know anything about either one of these people. All I know is like, if someone is people, like, everyone on the internet is such a saint when it's other people's problems. But it's like everyone commenting was like, you know, oh, he has to hold himself to a higher

stand also that. Sure. Punch that shit. Punch them. But this guy is getting pressed for longer than I was watching the video. The video is like, I think it's two and a half minutes long. thu. that class.

This shit's probably been going on for 10 full minutes. And so it's like, after a while the kids like, all right, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. And then they started, then they started swinging on each other and now you're fighting a grown man. And then this is the most annoying thing is that so I did I was like I'm not going to watch this whatever right and then someone later I saw it because it went super viral. Then later I saw just the ending and it does seem like as soon as the fight started that's when the principal and the officer and everybody showed up. It's like guys couldn't have been here 15 seconds earlier. This this th. This th. This th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is thi is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theeee. the. the. the. thi. the. the. thi. the. the. the. It's like, guys, couldn't have been here 15 seconds earlier? This thing has clearly been going on forever. For a while. Yeah. I've had an argument for a tea, but argument with a teacher lasts forever. Yeah. Because neither one of you will back down. There's long moments of silence.

Like the longest, I remember one of my teachers in high school arguing with him because like my economics class, I just could never get economic, one I need to see things, two economics is completely made up. Of course we go in recessions, of course we go into depressions, because all of this shit is fucking fictional, right? Mm-hmm. And I remember going, and I'm just in class going back and forth with him, back and forth for him, back and forth with him. And then eventually I just go, whatever, coach. And he was like, oh, that's your big comeback. Whatever coach, that's what you're going to say.

I said either I'd cuss you out and get suspended or say whatever coach. So I'm going to say whatever coach. And he's like, yeah, that's, hea hea hea, hea, hea, hea, he completely, he completely, he completely, he completely, he completely, he completely, he's hea, he completely, he's hea, he's hea, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's th. He's th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. Hea, he. Hea, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he's, he's, he's th. He. He. He's, he's, he's th. He's, he's, he's th. He's th. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, I th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, coach and he's like yeah that's that's that's good plan like he completely agree he was like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's also where he realizes as an adult it's like maybe I've taken this thing too far the 16 year old is the one that shut this down yeah yeah maybe the fact that I wanted more of this is like a little weird Sir I'm starting that moment. He was like she can't be I'm 40 I also can't let her be right for long in the classroom like if it like if he let you be right for a quick second. It's like Hey, I he's still in charge right, right? So it seems like this this this moment right now is the perfect time to kick it to the listener and let them know. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th him th him th him th him th him th the. the. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the this moment right now is the perfect time to kick into the listener

and let them know, hey, you don't even really have to vote. You don't even have to let us know how you feel as much as other episodes because power aid is better and that's just the way it is. No, it's not. It's not the whole point of a sports drink is to rehydrate you and there is science that proves that Gatorade hydrates you better because of the components of Gatorade. It's not like, who is he even looking? Who is he looking at? Do you all know who he's looking at? You know, let us know what you think.

Let us know if it's Gatorade for you, Power Ray for you. Let us know which one quenches your thirst, which one makes you feel like you're ready to get back out there on the field, on the court. When was the last time he was on the field? I don't really have to ask you. Yes you do? Yes, you do! No, no, no, no. I've never been an athlete and never try to act like I was an athlete.

You's on the other hand. Oh, me's, okay. Yes, you's, Joshua, Ezekiel Johnson, sitting up acting like that just because, listen, if you was playing soccer at the same time he was getting orange slices? You wasn't, you wasn't even varsity, baby. You weren't even JV. Wow, we're talking about varsity now. Okay, look, let me just let you know that power ain't got me where I am today, okay?

Help me from falling out on that field. Help me. Power ain't got you doing a podcast in a padded room. You'd rather I go with your gatorade with your, your, your ditch dined and, and, and, dug out gatorade. But yeah, y'all, let us know how you feel. Yeah, let us know that Josh is once again wrong wrong wrong wrong You all have a great rest of the day and a wonderful weekend all right they'll say just doesn't get it

Josh is always wrong Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday.

So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.