The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Hegseth Announces Testosterone Tests & Vance Fixates on Biden’s Ice Cream Licking | Jake Johnson

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

Michael Kosta digs into the latest D.C. headlines: Trump’s teleprompter operator allegedly made $100K by betting on what the president would say in his speeches, Pete Hegseth is rolling out testoste...rone tests for America's warriors, and JD Vance gives a whole new meaning to “helicopter parent.” Plus, the VP seems a little too excited about the way Joe Biden eats ice cream. In another edition of Sports War, Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta butt heads over the biggest headlines from the FIFA Men's World Cup: Spain's Lamine Yamal faces off against an Argentina player who once bathed him, a Norway fan refuses to row along with others, and Senegal's team doctor turns out to be a team gynecologist. Actor and producer Jake Johnson sits down with Michael to discuss his new Apple TV comedy film, “The Dink.” They talk about learning the language of tennis and its obsession with legs, coming up in improv with a hunger to work as an actor, giving ridiculous and impractical advice on his podcast “We’re Here to Help,” and the joy of raising his daughters… even if they’re Dodgers fans. -- New customers can save 35% on your first month of subscription by going to https://dosedaily.co/TDS or entering TDS at checkout. CarShield is offering our listeners 20% off with the code TDS at https://CarShield.com/TDS -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on Paramount+ Follow TDS: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Costa. How much to talk about tonight, J.D. Vance has complicated feelings about meat. Pete Hegseth wants to see your chest hair, and the World Cup is almost over, so time to find another reason to punch a stranger. But first, let's check in on the incredible members of the Trump administration
Starting point is 00:00:50 in another edition of the worst wing. What a bunch of losers. President Trump is addressing the nation tonight, and because we tape earlier in the day, we don't know yet what he's going to say, or which museum will be putting his name on, but come on, Museum of African American History and Culture. But there is one person who does know it's in the speech,
Starting point is 00:01:22 and he sure is making the most of it. Trump's longtime teleprompter operator is accused of using inside knowledge, to cash in on prediction markets, allegedly making more than $100,000 by betting on what the president would or would not say. Honestly, respect. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:01:41 Oh, I know people are going to say it's cheating if he knows what words are in the prompter, but with Trump, that's not a sure thing. For example, let's say he puts a bet down that Trump is going to read the word magnificent in a speech. And just across the bridge in front of Arlington Cemetery,
Starting point is 00:01:59 building and magnetic. It's really beautiful. Does that count? Does that count? I hope it does because I put a 200 large on it. Now, obviously, using a teleprompter to win bets is a recipe for trouble. I mean, I read from a prompter, and I know our operator would never purple bananas, purple bananas, purple bananas,
Starting point is 00:02:20 God damn it, Christina! But I assume Trump is cool with this. I mean, game recognized game. He's on unpaid administrative leave right now. very strict ethical guidelines here at the White House. Did she just say there are very strict ethical guidelines at the White House? This is like claiming that Love Island has a dress code. Nice track.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Let's move on to someone in the West Wing who's slightly less important than the prompter guy, J.D. Vance, Vice President, and the Week Link in your improv group. He's been on the podcast circuit lately to plug his memoir and share a bit about himself, but I feel like he's oversharing. The thing I couldn't get over Biden is the way that he ate ice cream. I mean, it's like, you know, we could bring some of the stuff up, but it's like they would get him eating ice cream in the most ridiculous, suggestive way imaginable.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Suggestive? I mean, I remember seeing Joe Biden eating ice cream, but I don't remember pitching a tent over it. Do you ever meet someone with a kink and they assume you have it too? Man, man, look at the. that goat just teasing us. But if you actually look at Joe Biden eating ice cream, there's nothing suggestive about it. I mean, look at this.
Starting point is 00:03:48 The man uses his teeth. He's biting it like a shark. Either JD Vance doesn't know what he's talking about or I've been giving blowjobs wrong this whole time. Van Vance's only sexual food hang up. You know how politicians are always
Starting point is 00:04:17 being photographed awkwardly eating food at a state fair? J.D. is not going to let that happen to him. You'd have to be a very manly man to be able to eat a confidently, confidently eat a corn dog. I don't know that I can do it, Joe. I eat them. They're good. Yeah, but they taste good.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Are you pho? I love corn dogs. I try to eat my corn dogs. That's between me and my kitchen. That's between you and your kitchen? Yeah, that's right. JD's not one of those losers eating corn dogs in public. He's eating his corn dogs alone over his sink in the dark.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Who's making a fool of himself now? Why do you have this gay panic, dude? Nobody's going to think the corn dog is a penis. I mean, it's a hot dog, so there is some rat penis in there, but it's not like in a gay way. But J.D. Vance wasn't just there to list his top ten most arousing foods. He also clued Joe Rogan in on the U.S. strategy for the war in Iran. We're not just going to do something open-ended indefinitely.
Starting point is 00:05:19 We're not just going to bomb and bomb and bomb. We're going to try to use our military force as one of the many tools that we have to solve problem. Yeah, yeah, I love that. Our military shouldn't just be used to bomb without any strategy. Great idea, JD. Oh, quick suggestion. Instead of flying to Austin to tell it to this podcaster, why don't you walk down the hall and tell it to your boss, the president of the United States? Because so far, his strategy is bomb, and I like your strategy of don't do bomb, which I hope is for strategic reasons and not just because the shape of a missile makes you uncomfortably horny. Now, you might be wondering,
Starting point is 00:06:02 does this guy even know that he's the vice president? Don't worry. He knows. Like, my life is, dude, totally transformed. I don't go to the grocery store anymore. People go to the grocery store for me. Dude, that's awesome. Maybe you should go to the grocery store? You might learn some stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Like, oh, were beans always $85? No, they weren't. And it's actually your job to fix it. But still, the vice president wants people to know that even though he doesn't do his own grocery shopping, he's still JD from the block. But it can become the sort of thing that if you internalize it, you start to be an entitled asshole. Yeah. Yeah. You see, he's self-aware. Don't forget, this guy is from rural Ohio. He grew up poor. So he's not about to exploit his newfound privilege at taxpayer's expense, right?
Starting point is 00:06:55 Right? Some of the Secret Service agents assigned to protect Vice President J.D. Vance say they're, quote, fed up with his personal and family travel requests. Just last Thursday, the family demanded that agents join a military helicopter crew to fly his young son to his golf lesson across town. They have also used the choppers to house hunt in Virginia. All right. Now, first off, if you're trying to get the best deal on a new house, maybe don't show up in a helicopter. I can't go over one five. Money's tight. I said money is tight. It's the Secret Service who blew the whistle. Do you know how overbearing you have to be
Starting point is 00:07:38 if the people who signed up to take a bullet for you are like, whoa, this guy is a diva? Let's move on to Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense and the personification of Sons Out Guns Out. Because he has nothing else going on right now, he came out with an important message for the troops. We have the most elite warriors on the face of the earth. While we invest heavily in our weapon systems, platforms, and gear, our most decisive tactical advantage will always be the individual warfighter. We have a sacred duty to maintain that advantage, which is why we must constantly look for new ways to optimize your performance,
Starting point is 00:08:20 your resilience, and your long-term health. Awesome. You know, I thought this guy was just a walking word salad of military cliches, but no, he cares about the troops. And there's so much to do. We could fix the VA, give our troops some mental health care. For once, I could feel good about where our money is going.
Starting point is 00:08:38 So what's the priority here, Beatty? Today, I'm authorizing a new screening program for testosterone deficiency for our service members, ensuring you have the right testosterone levels to operate at your absolute best. Hell yeah. This Secretary of War f***es up. A lot. It's kind of a problem.
Starting point is 00:09:01 So, wait, am I understanding this correctly? He thinks the biggest problem facing troops is low T? Wait, are the Marines pulling the trigger with their rock-hard cocks? You know, every time you look at what this administration is up to you, always find the most insane combination of audacity and stupidity. But after all this time, I do think there's something we can do about it. All it takes is purple bananas, purple bananas. When we come back, we catch up on the latest in sports.
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Starting point is 00:10:18 Politics, drools, and sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war. Get ready for battle. It's time for sports war. Brought to you by gambling. Gambler for sale. Lonely dads at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I'm Desi Leidick. And I'm Michael Coss. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other. So if I say LeBron would be a perfect fit for the Golden State Warriors. Then I say, screw the war. Warriors. He's a perfect fit for my YMCA over 40 rec league team. The blue shirt team. We still can't pick a name. Without LeBron, we'll never beat the green shirt team. God, now that's a good name.
Starting point is 00:11:11 LeBron doesn't need your fat balding friends with anger issues. That's what Draymond Green's for. But let's get into the biggest story in sports. The World Cup final is this Sunday right here in the heart of New York, East Rutherford, New Jersey. And it is shaping up to be a doozy. The men's World Cup. Final showdown is set. And Argentina will face Spain after a stunning late comeback against England, led by Captain Leonel Messi. Oh, man, this is going to be good awesome. I'm betting everything on Spain, Spain, and not just because once I put together a swing set using only the Spanish instructions.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Let's just say my kids got mu endured after the El Slido collapsed. Oh, Dios meo. Regardless, Spain is technically a proficient team that's going to make a meal of Argentina. Well, technically 11 small meals served on tiny plates. And much like the World Cup, it'll be very expensive and completely unsatisfying. Like your wedding night? It was a nightmare. On Argentina, they're going to make this game real messy for Spain.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Argentina is not to be messied with, thanks to their star player, Enzo Fernandez. Plus, they have that short old guy whose name I can't remember. And don't get me started in Argentina's secret weapon. A generation of Nazi grandchildren? Something even better. It's a battle of the generations with 39-year-old Lionel Messi going head to head with Spain's 19-year-old star Laminia Mall. The multi-generational divide underscored by this remarkable snapshot from a charity calendar photo shoot nearly 20 years ago. The image going viral showing Messi when he played for FC Barcelona giving baby Yamal a bath.
Starting point is 00:13:12 That's right. Messy's playing the classic mental long game. 20 years ago, he volunteered to give a bath to a baby who he knew would grow up to be Spain's star player. Now, that is how you get inside an opposing player, soft little head. How can Yamal possibly lock in knowing the man across from him has seen his tiny baby empanada? I disagree, Desi. That tiny baby empanada haunts Messy's dreams. He wakes up in a cold sweat,
Starting point is 00:13:41 yelling, how can I defeat the hairless balls I won so tenderly washed? It makes you think. Oh, why start now? Which brings us to our no-tears diaper buster bed at the night. What kind of weird-ass charity put out that calendar? Presented by gambling. Gambling.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Hungry? Gamble. Moving on, while we don't know the winner of the World Cup just yet, we already know the breakout star of the tournament is this fan from Norway. It's Norway's fans who've been grabbing the headlines with their Viking-inspired rowing chant. But one supporter was not happy.
Starting point is 00:14:21 This is Emil Anirz Lappin, in the middle of a crowd of rowing fans, but he went viral for refusing to join in. First of all, I just find it really stupid. And it's factually wrong. The Vikings sailed across the Atlantic. They didn't row across the Atlantic. Oh, come on.
Starting point is 00:14:43 It's when you nerds like sports. No wonder Norway lost. This fjord didn't row. A sacred Norwegian tradition going all the way back to March of this year. He was just sitting there drunk, doing nothing. I sit here drunk doing nothing all the time. Why don't I get any credit?
Starting point is 00:15:01 You know why, because I'm a woman. woman. Everyone thinks women don't know shit about Norway. The fan... This fan gets it. The fun part of sports is historical accuracy. Of course he shouldn't row. He should do as the Vikings do and decapitate
Starting point is 00:15:30 everyone inside a monastery. About showing up for one another, pulling in the same direction, no eye and team, whatever other bullshit we tell men to get them out of the house for ten minutes so I can pumice my heels in peace. God damn it! Which brings us to our six months
Starting point is 00:15:53 of the darkness, bed of the never-ending night. Now that Norway lost, where will they row that imaginary boat? Presented by gambling. Gambling, there's a reason Grandpa smells like that. Of course, with the World Cup coming to a close, now's the time when teams that underperformed are trying to figure out what went wrong. And in Senegal, they may have found an answer. The Senegalese Football Federation said that after the tournament ended,
Starting point is 00:16:19 they realized the national team doctor was a gynecologist and not a sports doctor. which allegedly caused discomfort among players during the World Cup. Senegalese guy knows Ben. I've been flying to West Africa because he's the only doctor who takes my insurance. Plus, there's nothing sexier than getting a pap smear in French. Name him for losing. Look at the numbers. Yes, Senegal allowed nine goals, but they had zero yeast infections. Desi.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Let me disagree. And just a heads up, okay? You're going to be. gonna feel a pinch. Men need man doctors, not clam doctors, manly men doctors. You tear your ACL, he prescribes you 20 years of staring silently out of window. How is this my life? Which brings us to the ovary under Parlavia bed of the night, his brother for money.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Come on, the Chicago Bulls logo? I can easily label that. And we have, join us next week when we ask, is it time people with disabilities got their own separate Olympics? Yeah, dumb, dumb. already exists. Oh, because I was going to say no.
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Starting point is 00:20:46 If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531-2-600-0 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. is an actor and producer who stars in the new Apple TV comedy film The Dink. Please welcome Jake Johnson. I didn't like our handshake and then we redid it
Starting point is 00:21:41 and it was solid. You know what? Caust something a bit of a hack, I saw the audience and I turned out. Look, I didn't watch the movie. I... I understand. I don't like pickleball. It's a hobby. It's not a sport.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I despise it. What's it about it? Don't you, yeah, that? I'm here representing the Pickleball Association. What is this film about? I can tell already by some of the jokes you guys laughed at. This is a pickleball audience. What's the film about?
Starting point is 00:22:13 The film is about a former tennis pro. Yep. God, that's a great f***ing sport. He's got a lot of bluster. Yep. Started doing pretty good. Met Andy Roddick in a match. Yep.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Got beat by Roddick. Did you ever play against Roddick? That wasn't that good. Okay. Neither one I have. I mean, let me tell you a quick story. I know this is your interview, but... I'd love to hear.
Starting point is 00:22:39 I played tennis. I love tennis. I was never at his level. But when Apple sent me the screener for this, you know how they put your name as a watermark? Yes. So at one point, you're playing against him, and it was my name playing against Roddick.
Starting point is 00:22:52 And I'm like, this is my dream. This is my dream. This is my dream. In a way, I was living vicarcy through you. Well, one thing really fast is I need to say about tennis. Yeah. After working with Brad Gilbert, he was my coach. I got to ask you about that, okay.
Starting point is 00:23:04 I got some stuff. I love Gilbert. Okay, good. And I saw it when I first saw you, and I noticed you were tall. Yeah. You got great legs, Costa. No, I don't say, no, no.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I say that as a tennis man to a tennis man. We notice each other's legs. Because the game is all about the legs, baby, and you got the legs to go pro. Thank you very much. Um... I threw you because you know what's right. You got beautiful long legs, my man.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Well, and this is the thing. In the sport of tennis, you can actually talk about a man's legs. I know. Well, so what happened with Brad Gilbert is... Brad Gilbert, by the way, legendary tennis coach. First of all, legendary tennis player, wrote this amazing book on tennis called Winning Ugly. Which is awesome. Which is amazing book.
Starting point is 00:23:48 But now he kind of helps the stars learn tennis. You know, he's just such a great character. And he's having so much fun. So he just kind of helped me do it as we went. But as we were hanging out a lot, we would see. younger people playing at these tennis clubs. And I'd be going, is that kid worth the damn? Right.
Starting point is 00:24:06 That kid's going to college. How's he doing? And then he started saying, look at the legs. And then when I met Rodic, I said to Roddick, I was gabbing about Brad. Because Rodic's so funny. And I was like, Gilbert's such a character. All he wants to do is talk about legs like a weirdo. And Roddick goes, that's not funny. That's what we do.
Starting point is 00:24:25 I was like, all right, that's cool. Legs are important in the sport of tennis. And what I will say is I got pickleball legs, baby. Okay, well... I'm low to the ground, I can squat, and I can nail that little wiffle ball. The movie is really funny. I had laugh-out-loud moments.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I wasn't rooting for you or the film. I was only mad that I wasn't in the film. I wish you were. And it won me over. It is so, so funny. There's so many good hard jokes. You got to play against Andy. Yes.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Rodic. You got to play a lot of pickleball with him. I did. I was actually truly nervous. We do that big third-act sequence where we battle against each other. the director wanted 14-point sequences. Wow. I know.
Starting point is 00:25:05 In a wowner. Like here to the back end, then here. It's so hard. It's very hard. And Andy hits it so hard. And he gets so mad at himself when he misses. Which I don't know if it's a tennis thing. Well, there's a reason that he was won on the world and I was 864. He didn't miss. And also, you were chill on yourself.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Exactly. Like, if I missed, I was like, it's okay. It happens. It's a long sport. It's a hard game. But we'd be playing and he would hit it and miss a little bit and it'd be fine. When you said you were training with Brad Gilbert, what does that mean? You live in L.A. He's in L.A. You know the film is coming up.
Starting point is 00:25:41 And what are you working on? Because there's not like so many scenes of you playing tennis. Well, I got to serve it. Yeah. Yeah. You did have to serve it. Did you work on the grip with him? Not so much?
Starting point is 00:25:54 I felt like maybe there could have been some grip work done there. You think my grip would? No way. I want, if what? No way, Costa. We're going to have Brad Gilbert on on Monday. Are you? No, no, no. No, here's what we work on a lot.
Starting point is 00:26:07 And this is the absolute truth. He's a man who likes to drink and smoke a little bit of weed, and so do I. Let's go! Yeah, let's go. No, not true. Not true. We worked a lot. We worked hard.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah. And for a guy who's never played, and I said this before, and I'll say it again, but I do a great job as a player. Holy mackerel. Yeah. I look like a real player. I blow people away, and I'd love to get you on the court, Costa. You versus me for $100,000 dollars. I would love that.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Let's do it. I love that. I love that. Zooming out. Please. Okay. Your career's in Fuego right now. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:39 A lot of people know you from New Girl. You're on for eight seasons. Amazing job. But you have this Midwest sensibility that I love. I get you, and I love. And I can tell that you care about the craft. Yes, I do. And not as much about the stardom or the fame.
Starting point is 00:26:55 And I mean that as a compliment. That's a fact, man. Is this because you're from Chicago? Is this because you're midway? is this because you just, you had good parents? Is it all a lie and it's a manufactured branding image? I'm trying so hard to be a big star, baby. It's not working, I'm spinning.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Honest to God, what happened is I started to work a lot and it was getting really exciting. And all the perks I thought would come with celebrity weren't there. And I thought, like, well, I don't love this, but, you know, I came up doing improv. Watching this show early, I was like, oh, these bits are so great.
Starting point is 00:27:29 I was doing UCB here in New York. Amazing. loved it. I did Second City. I did Improv Olympic. And I just feel like the dream is in the scene. And the dream is between action and cut. And if I get to do that and continue to do that, the rest I truly don't care about. And my daughter said something pretty great one day where I was, somebody came up to me there about three. And my mother-in-law goes, what's it like when somebody takes a photo
Starting point is 00:27:51 of your daddy? Just to say, like, for her to see if it's weird that I'm an actor, because it's weird. And she meant to say my dad's famous, that's why. But she said, oh, it's okay. and my dad, he's just familiar. And I went, that's my level and I like it. That's nice. So I go to the airport. I did a movie with Tom Cruise. He gets out of a subway.
Starting point is 00:28:15 People sprinted him. The city stops down. I go to the airport. Everyone's to all, somebody just goes, hey, all right. And I go, I go, I go, now we're talking. I am now at the level where I'll be sitting on the subway. That tells you something. Still taking the subway.
Starting point is 00:28:30 But I'll look across from me, and people are, like, Googling, and I can see it's, like, Daily Show Guy. Yeah, too. But it's like, you know. Yeah. By the way, good enough. I mean, I had Rain Wilson sitting right here, Dwight Shrewd from the office, and he said he wishes someone would have told him during the office, it's enough.
Starting point is 00:28:49 You have enough. You're working with funny people, and you're being funny. It's enough. Yes. Well, that's something I was very aware of during the dink, because it was directed by a dear friend of mine, and it was written by a friend. It is directed so well. Josh Greenbaum is so... Sean is the funniest guy.
Starting point is 00:29:02 It is excellent film. Thank you, my man. I appreciate you. But it was that ever... And Mary Steenberg who's the nicest and funniest and the best. And then Aaron Chan, he's so good. But what is that scene
Starting point is 00:29:12 where you guys are just in a pool talking? What the fuck is that scene? Who knows? I'm watching this scene... By the way, it's only pool because the country club had a pool. And we were like, do we do it?
Starting point is 00:29:21 You got to use it. This is when you're used to shooting things on your own budget or whatever. It's exactly right. We have a pool. It's used it. But this one actually was in. indie movie. So it feels big because Apple came on, but we raised the money independently.
Starting point is 00:29:34 We just made it in LA. You can tell it's Apple because I was like, oh, is that actually the song or is it a knockout? No, that's the song. That's the theme song from the natural. Yeah. And I have a tear in my eye. That's pretty good. That's great. That's great. It's pretty good. No, the cast is excellent. It's an underdog story. And did you approach comedy in this business, show business, is feeling a little bit like an underdog or was How'd you approach it? How'd you approach it? I really, really just wanted to work.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Yeah. And so I didn't have any sort of strategy or game plan. It was just, I want to do this. And I want to do this so bad. So any part, my first couple jobs, I was like a killer on, like, lie to me type shows. And I was like, if that's what's going to be, I'm the bad guy. And then, luckily...
Starting point is 00:30:20 I can't picture you as a killer. I'm sorry, you don't have killer face. It was a very bad before a mess. And then, luckily, Liz Maryweather, who created New Girl, saw me in an indie movie directed by Max Winkler called Ceremony, said, I want to work with you, put me in her movie. That movie did well. Then we got to do New Girl, and then I felt like from there,
Starting point is 00:30:39 if the role is underdog or whatever, I just want to keep playing. You know what's crazy? What? I went to middle school with Liz Mary Wither. You swear to God? I swear to God. I've known her longer than you, and she hasn't put me in a f*** thing. Let's give her a little shout right now.
Starting point is 00:30:53 And I may have had a few pops at the Emmys last year, and I may have a man said that to him. And that's not going to help my chances. And it might have you had a chance. Because you never know. You have two daughters. Yes. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:31:07 I got two daughters. They're six and three. Oh, you got babies. What? You know, how do you instill the Midwest roots in them? Do you? Do you care? Are they L.A.?
Starting point is 00:31:16 They're L.A. They're L.A. Where? Are you raising yours here? I'm raising them here. And I'm like, the other day my daughter goes, I'm from Brooklyn. And I said, don't you ever f***ing a thing? You're from Michigan like I am.
Starting point is 00:31:26 And she's like, but I'm not from Michigan. Well, your girls are young. It's going to change. I said you're a Cubs fan, you're a Bears fan, you're a Bulls fan. You pronounce it, Cubs, Bears, Bulls. That's just what your life is. And then they were about seven, and they were like, we like the Dodgers.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And I was like, do you know what my father is? She's Crockville. This is the Cubs. And I had to just accept. They're L.A., but they are, I don't know, man, you know this, but raising kids is just the greatest thing ever. It changed everything. And I got to say, I didn't expect.
Starting point is 00:31:53 I always thought I'd have boys just because I'm sloppy and heavy. Yeah. But just like... Everyone knows that correlation. If the dad is sloppy and heavy, you have points. Yes. And if you're, like, really lean and mean, you could have girls. Yeah, have girls.
Starting point is 00:32:07 But what a joy having daughters has been. Oh, man. What a twist of fate that has been for me where I'm like, oh, what fun. Getting into the music they like, playing their games more. It's been awesome. What advice would you have for any parents in show? Don't do it! Any.
Starting point is 00:32:22 I hate that. Run, run! I hate that. It gives me such joy to hear someone talk positively. Yeah, yeah, yeah. children. Any advice for me as they're young? Any advice for anybody being a parent in show biz? Yeah, so the real advice is when I first had kids, I heard a lot of people I looked up to who were older
Starting point is 00:32:41 saying like, man, I really regret it. You know, all their best years I was going, now I know. And I was like, just don't make that mistake. Yeah, yeah. These are, you know, you're like, well, it's a cool story, but you only have 18 years with them. Yeah. And now that mine are 12, it goes so fast. So three and six, I still feel like I have that. But they won't, like, when I get home, nobody misses me from this trip. Right.
Starting point is 00:33:04 I, like, text my wife, I'm like, I'm coming home out of red. I'll be there at midnight. Right, yeah. She wrote, great. My daughters have phones. Right. No response.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Three to six, they're still like, you're home? Right, right. And now they're like, you're home. Yeah, it's true. They, like, run up to me and hug me, which is sweet. Yeah. Mine go like this.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Hey, you're back. Right. You have a podcast where you give advice to people. You would be great on it. That would be great because I need so much advice. I would actually love you to please come on. I would love to do that. You'll be perfect.
Starting point is 00:33:36 I think it's funny that you may have come on the Daily Show just to book your podcast. Well, I'm our segment producer. What kind of advice are people asking for? So the premise is my great friend, Gareth Reynolds, pitched me this idea, but it's as if you went to a bar and you needed advice,
Starting point is 00:33:54 but you wanted it from a couple of drunks rather than someone who's going to give you sound advice. Because he said, and I really believe, sometimes those drunks give the best advice. It's never going to be to like, go talk to them. Right. Right, right. He's like, I'm having a problem with my boss. What should I do? Confront them. No.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Dress up like a pirate, sneaking through the air ducts, put Parmesan cheese all over the floor, and that'll teach them. And what happens is we weren't sure how bitty our show is going to be. But then when we realize is what we love is the follow-ups because the community does the stuff and then they follow up and they'll be like, putting the cheese on the floor was a mistake,
Starting point is 00:34:32 it did bring rats. And so Gareth was like, we have to put a disclaimer and we're not like, maybe don't do the really dumb ones. But we're here to help we love making it, and truly I'd love to have you on. Well, I would love to do that. And also it just goes to show in life, you don't always need perfect advice.
Starting point is 00:34:51 You need someone to talk to. Sometimes that helps. How about that, bro? I love this film. It feels like a big comedy. It feels like we haven't seen this in a long time. And these mid-level ones have gone away, and I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:35:05 These were the movies I loved. Yeah, I mean, it's like truly big laughs. You also know if that laugh didn't work for you. There's another big one coming. And there's slightly different tones. Correct. But Josh did a good enough job to keep it together. There is a lot of heart with Mary Steenbergin,
Starting point is 00:35:19 which was really shocking. Well, come on. There's also the scene where you and, Your dad are confronting. Yes. Ed Harris. Oh, man. That's great.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Come on. And as a guy who grew up in the tennis world watching Ed Harris play a psycho tennis dad, beautiful. Bravo. Thank you for coming out. Please go see the dink, everybody. Picture this.
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Starting point is 00:39:05 I'll tell you how to make money. Do magnets. You're doing a lot of great stuff, do magnets. Because one thing we don't have, but we're getting close, but do magnets. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
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