The Daily Show: Ears Edition - How Bill Gates Plans to Make Energy From… Sh*t

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

Ronny Chieng discovers the potential power of poop in his meeting with Bill Gates. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Bill Gates. He's rich. He's brilliant. And apparently, he's out of his mind. This is a container of human feces. Why is one of the richest men in the world carrying a jaw of his own shit? I went to Seattle to find out what's wrong with Bill Gates. Mr. Gates, it's a huge honor to meet you. Just a quick question.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I mean, are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. Love what I'm doing. Okay, so why are you carrying around your own poop in a jar? Well, I did, uh, have a beaker of human feces when I was explaining why we need a reinvented toilet. You don't need to reinvent a toilet. We shit in it, then we push a button,

then the shit disappears. It's perfect. Well, toilets are something we take for granted, but billions of people don't have them. Even in these growing cities and poor countries, they can't afford to build sewers and that causes diseases. And so we have to come up with a very different way of taking care of that waste. And because so much of the world lacks a sanitary place to poo, Bill launched the Reinvent the Toilet Challenge. It funds scientists to redesign to toilets that don't need a sewer system.

We put 700 million into this to show that it can be done. Wait, sorry hang on, you put several hundred million dollars into toilets. Giving it away, you bet. Oh my god, is Bill Gates literally flushing his fortune down the toilet? To find out, I flew all the way to University of South Florida where Professor Daniel Ye and his team are using Gates funding to make some sort of magic poop box. So what we have here essentially is a miniature version of the wastewater treatment plant and we can put this anywhere in the world. In the bioreactor we have microorganisms. They eat the poop and turn into clean water. Okay, why do the microbes eat the poop? The microbes eat the poop because that's what they do.

Did you ask them if they want they want they want they want they they they they they the they the they the the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's what they do. Did you ask that? If they want to do that? Well... Yeah, why don't you give him a muffin or something? Maybe they like a muffin. Okay, I'll make a note of that, but when you show them the poop, they love it. Despite his crazy talk, there's just something about this guy. I don't know what it is, but I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi, but I thi, thi, but I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, but I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, but I trust him. So I decided to give his machine a try. So normally we would have a block of toilets, right, and then the waste one of the toilets

would come here. It'll go into the machine and then using solar power, we can turn the poopie water into clean water. So you stand by this? Yeah. Or I'll prove it. OK. Did work? Did it work?

Yeah. Well, how many times did not work and you end up drinking your own shit? Well, it's worked so well that we're actually working with NASA. Astronauts have to poop, and we can turn that poop into clean water and nutrients and even energy. Wait, do you say energy? Yeah, the microbes in the bioreactor make methane. That's the same stuff that's a natural gas and you can burn it.

Bill Gates, you sneaky bastard. You just found a filthy little back door into the most profitable industry in the world. Energy. You didn't say anything about energy. Yeah, it's one way to make it cheap to process the sewage is to sell these outputs. You should open with that next time. Don't open with the saving the world kids and disease. They open with, y'all what making toilets that can convert shit into energy. We need to make these toilets as expensive as possible because because because, because, because, th th th th th th to th to th to th to th th to th to th. th. th. th. You th. You to th. You th. You the the to thoe to be thoe toe, toe, thioe, tho- tho-upeole too-upe their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Youe, their. Youe, their, the, the, thiiiiiaa. Wee, thia. Youe, thiole, thiole, thiole. Wea. Wea. toe. toea'ea'ea'eatea'eateateatea'lipea'ea'ea'ea'ea'e. Wea'e. Wea'e. Wea to make these toilets as expensive as possible. Because based on my research, everyone poops. I mean everybody.

Well, unless we make them super cheap, they're not going to get out to the poorest who need them the most. Look, I know you've made your money. Some of us here are still trying to win this game. Well, if you have an idea, let us know. I've got nothing but ideas for this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this game. Well, if you have an idea, let us know. I've got nothing but ideas for this. Okay. So this is an iPad. Great device. I love using it. Hey, hey. So what's the worst seat on the plane next to the toilet? But what if every seat was a toilet? Poop-powered planes. To keep the plane in motion, we have to keep shiting. High pressure, I know, but it gives the airline the air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air. the air. the air. to. that's the air. the air. that's. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. shit in. High pressure, I know, but it gives the airlines incentive to feed us. I'm not sure the numbers work. How about this? It's a toilet that you shit in, and it powers a cannon that shoots the shit out to my neighbor's house.

Why are you laughing? That's not legal. Listen, man, I'm up here just trying to come up with ideas here to save the world. Okay, what are you doing? Um, that's what I'm doing. No, that's what I'm doing. I'm here giving you ideas. All you're doing is shitting on that. Well, I don't mean those ideas are ready yet. But we do have a lot of ideas that are in the field. that are the fiel- te te te te te te tea teateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate. te. te. te. te. teateateateateateateateate. te. te. thas that's that's that's that's that's that's that's being that's being that's being that's being that's being that's being that's being being being te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. that's te. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's te. te of their residents that don't have great sewage processing.

We are going to completely change the future. Everybody's going to have a great toilet. Well, here's to everyone having a great toilet. Cheers. Not bad. Now guess where that came from? You just drank my shit. How's it taste?

That's a very successful process there. It tasted like normal water. Good job. Thank you, Bill. There's more where that came from. Watch the Daily Show Weeknights at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.