The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI - Donald Trump: America's African President

Episode Date: January 17, 2021

Donald Trump may not seem like commander-in-chief material to most Americans, but in certain African countries, he fits the bill. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at, that's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News,

listened to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. In the time that I've been here, I've been following the presidential race, and I've noticed that a few pieces of conventional wisdom have formed around the candidates, none more than with Donald Trump. Six and 10 Americans believe Trump is unqualified

to serve as president. He's not qualified to be president. Unfit to be president. Unfit to be commander-in-chief. The Des Moines Register writing that Trump, not only unfit to hold office, but unfit to stand on the same stage as his Republican opponents. He's unfit for that stage? No, that stage is unfit for Trump.

There's no marble, there's no gold. Where the woman in bikinis? And how would he even get there? There's no escalator. Come on, people. So the complaints about Trump is that he's unpresidential. And it stems from certain statements that he's unpresidential. And it stems from certain statements that he's made. When Mexico sends its people, they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists,

and some, I assume, are good people. And you know what they say? When you assume, you're the best that assuming. Trump. I know these comments about immigrants who are upsetting to some people. But for me, as an African, there's, there's, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is th is th is th is just th's just thi, thi, thi. They're just that's that's that's thi. They're thi. They're thi, thi, thi, thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They's. They're that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thr-a. thr-i. thri. thri. that's just just just just thriiiiiiiiiiiii. thriiii. thri. thri. thri. They're thri immigrants who are upsetting to some people, but for me, as an African, there's just something familiar about Trump that makes me feel at home. The influx of illegal migrants, crime, unfair business practices, drugs. It is also not true that all foreign nationals are involved in criminal activities.

There are some who are, but not all of them. I love how we all waited like, oh, he's not so... Ah! That South African President Jacob Zuma sounding a lot like Donald Trump. You see, that's a light xenophobia with just a dash of diplomacy, which is also the title of Paul Dean's new book. So, uh... So, uh...

So I don't see what's unpresidential about Donald Trump. I mean, here's another thing he unnecessarily took heat for. Autism has become an epidemic. The beautiful child went to have the vaccine and came back and a week later got a tremendous fever, got very, very sick, now is autistic. Now, was that factual? No. But was it presidential? Depends where you come from.

Gambian President Ya Ya'a says he can cure AIDS using herbs and bananas. He admits there will always be skeptics but he says quote mine is not an argument mine is a proof. It's a declaration I can cure AIDS and I will. That's right. That is right. The president of Gambia says he can cure AIDS with bananas and I can also cure cancer using AIDS. If only I hadn't cured all that AIDS. Ah!

A crazy thing to... Better safe than sorry. What I'm trying to say is Donald Trump is presidential. He just happens to be running on the wrong continent. In face, in fact, once you realize that Trump is basically the perfect African president, you start to notice the similarities everywhere, like the level of self-regard. I say not in a braggadocious way. I've made billions and billions of dollars.

I made a tremendous amount of money. I'm really rich. I have a great temperament. They love me anyway. I don't have to do this. I've done an amazing job. I was born with th, the the the with the with the with the with thua thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiolomea thi. thi. the thiol- th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. t. t. trea. tr. true. true. true. true. true. teo. toeo. toe. to to. te. don't have to do this. I've done an amazing job. I was born with a certain intellect. God helped me by giving me a certain brain. I bet that's the one time that God's like, I don't need the praise, it's cool. That's you, that's you, I'm cool. Now, is that best president of Uganda. The people likes me very much. I am very popular. I am very powerful. I am the one who has

got the money. I have got a very good brain. I have a very good brain. I have a very good brain. I have a very good brain. And I know this because every time I ask people if I have a good brain they say of course Mr. President. Now please let my family go. You've already killed my sister. I think you've proved your point.

And just to make sure everyone knew exactly how successful he was. Idi Amin insisted on always being referred to by his full title. And this is completely true. His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal, Al-Hajji, Dr. Idiamind Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth, and Fishes of the Seas and Conquer of the British Empire in Africa in general, and Uganda in particular. Luckily, Idi Amin didn't own any casinos. Yeah, in fact, Trump is so African presidential.

He's already at the level of Zimbabwe's president, Robert Mugabe, whose brutality and repressive tactics have kept him in power for 35 years. My people have great praise for me. People love me. Everybody loves me. The little man. He's very for me. People love me. Everybody loves me. The little man. He's very low energy. Land is ours.

It's not European. It's our land. And we have taken it. We'll take our country back. We will win. We will be winning all the time. that you may get bored with winning. I feel like I'm winning right now. It's really great to know that if anything ever happens to Trump, we have a backup coffee in Africa. I like that.

Actually, now that I think about it, Trump reminds me of one African leader in particular. Weird hair hair? Check. Lavish lifestyle? Check. Fringe discredited views about President Obama's origins. Weird hair? Check. Lavish lifestyle? Check. Fringe discredited views about President Obama's origins. And along came a black citizen of Kenyan African origin, a Muslim. His name is Obama. Check.

Oh, and there's one more thing. Gaddafi put up a tent in the town of Bedford about 40 miles outside of New York City. The property in Westchester County, where they're setting up that tent, is owned by none other than Donald Trump. Yeah, that's right. When Mama Gaddafi came to America, he could have stayed anywhere, but the only place he felt truly at home was in Donald Trump's yard. Now just by the way, our lawyers told us we have to mention that Trump told Gaddafi to take the tent down. And you see, you have to be careful what you say about Donald Trump in public.

Not unlike an African president. Now I understand that Trump is a little scary. A little exotic for some. A little out of America's comfort zone. But this great country is capable of bold leaps. It took one in 2008 when it elected its first black president. Now in 2016, I say it's time to be bold once more and elect America's first African president.

And when that happens, when a true African finally enters the Oval Office, the people of Africa will erupt into songs of praise. Kawa the Kuletona's, and their end their gaites, Mexican rapists. We don't have a word for Mexican rapists. We don't have a word for Mexican rapists. The Daily Show with Covernoa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and

subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.

I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.