The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI - I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking - The NBA Bubble

Episode Date: July 26, 2020

Roy Wood Jr. and Michael Kosta weigh in on how NBA players are faring in a mandatory quarantined bubble in Orlando, FL. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omn...ystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:12 Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. What's up sports fans? I'm Roywood Jr. He's Michael Costa. Sports is back, which means we are back. Costa, are you am to be talking sports again? I can't, I can't, I can't hear you, bro, you're on mute.
Starting point is 00:01:50 You're on mute. Yeah, I was saying that, I'm excited. Same here. Hockey's on his way back, baseball's starting up again, let's get it. I can't wait. Those are my favorite sports to ignore while I look at my phone, but the return that everyone's talking about, Roy is the return of the NBA. That's right, coronavirus cut their season short
Starting point is 00:02:10 right before the playoffs, but the NBA is back with a plan that's more complicated than trying to pronounce Giannus on the Cato. Gato poe. The NBA hopes to shield to the the the the to to to the to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to the to to the to the too. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I. C. C. I. I'm. C. C. I'm. I'm. I'm. C. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. C. I. Cko, and Topelko. The NBA hopes to shield the rest of its season from COVID-19 by keeping players and staff inside an isolation bubble. The teams will live, practice, and play in Orlando without outside visitors or fans. Players and staff from all 22 teams participating will be sequestered in a so-called bubble at the ESP and wide world of Sports Complex at the Walt Disney World Resorts, league officials hoping that we'll keep team safe.
Starting point is 00:02:50 The league lays out in great detail everything from how the players will work, play, relax, eat, as well as be monitored for COVID-19 when play resumes. There's going to have to be consistent surveillance, you know on a daily basis to make sure that people are who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, who are negative, their, their, their, the the the end the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi-n, thi-n, thease-n.ease-n.ease-ease-ease-easeaseaseaseaugh, teamease, team, team, team, thease, thease, the the thease, the daily basis to make sure that people are who are negative for coronavirus, stay negative. That's right, the NBA is going to finish their season playing inside a bubble. And Roy, I love this idea. It reminds me of sleep away camp growing up, playing games, spending all your time together, your most trusted friends, shoving cutts up your nose while you sleep. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Because what I I I I'm hearing is a bunch of mostly black dudes locked up under constant surveillance.
Starting point is 00:03:28 This is basically prison with less defense. And whose idea was it to bubble down in Florida with all the cases spiking down there? What was the second option? What, they have the season in the middle of a Trump rally? Roy, it's fine. They're in a bubble. A bubble! Yeah, and if they respected the bubble, it could work. But the problem is that players are already breaking the rules. The NBA is not playing around when it comes to the bubble boundaries for players who are staying at the Walt Disney World Campus in Orlando.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Sacramento Kings forward, Rishan Holmes says he accidentally crossed the campus line to pick up a food delivery. Well, now he's under a mandatory 10-day quarantine. An unnamed NBA player contacted an Instagram model, named Anna and invited her to the bubble. Unbeleavable! The NBA season can be at risk because selfish players want takeout and hot, hot sex. So selfish! So hot. It's incredibly hot, Roy. But breaking quarantine for outside food is just unnecessary. They've already got
Starting point is 00:04:31 great food options in the bubble. Look at this delicious meal Denver Nuggets player Troy Daniels tweeted out. It's a cornucopia of culinary delights. Arugala, two bags of chips, watermelon, a roll in a giant plastic bag, a smaller thing of watermelon. Roy, that's at least 11 calories right there. The point is, they haven't even started playing games and the bubble is already falling apart. Costa, this season is going to be like you having sex with an Instagram model. It's going to end prematurely. Not so fast, Roy. That was in private, I told you that. But if you the the number, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, the thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. the, the, the, the the the the the the the th. the th. thi, thi, thi. thi. the. the. to, toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. th. th. th. th. That was in private, I told you that. But if you look at the numbers, it's actually pretty promising. The NBA had zero positive cases in its recent round of testing. The league testing close to 350 players living on the NBA campus at Disney World. All of the tests coming back negative. Damn, I didn't know it was working.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Yo, let me in that bubble NBA.. I gotta get in there. I'll do whatever it takes NBA. I'll be a water boy. I'll be the kid that mops up the sweat underneath the basket. I'll be Anthony Davis's backup unibrow. Just whatever it takes, you got to let me in that bubble. You don't even have to pay me. safest place in America right now, but based on the videos players have been sending out on social media, it looks like they're having a pretty good time in there. Chris Paul is like everyone else, embracing the outdoor life at Disney World. This is a fish.
Starting point is 00:05:52 CP3 caught Monday before practice. Meanwhile, the Dallas Mavericks, they were doing a socially distant dance party on their balconies. Mineers Leonard getting in on the latest challenge. Leonard chugging beer for the second week in a row. This has got to be less than a second for the shotgun. See, NBA players are just like us, shotgunning beers alone. And he was fast too.
Starting point is 00:06:19 He made that beard disappear like a cutip up your nose at sleepaway camp. Yo, Costa, I'm sold. I want in on the fun and the bubble. We gotta figure out a way inside. I'm way ahead of you, Roy. I'm already turning myself into an Instagram model so I can seduce the players. All I gotta do is post this pick. What do you think about that,
Starting point is 00:06:36 bubble, Roy? kicked off of Instagram, it was worth of shot. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
Starting point is 00:07:21 This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.

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