The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI: Jon Stewart and the News Team Cover the Trump Trial

Episode Date: April 27, 2024

Jon Stewart addresses the superfluous news coverage of Trump's criminal trial despite the media pledging to give him less of a spotlight. Plus, Jordan Klepper and Ronny Chieng weigh in on Trump's gag order hearing and Jesse Watters' pleas for the court to take it easy on the former president.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's a big day for Donald Trump. Huge. His campaign for president was interrupted today by the trial, about the other time, that he had tried to run for president. Look, let's just check in in another installment of America's most tremendously wanted. The whole thing is his scam. After a week of jury selection, today it was finally time for opening statements. And it turns out, the prosecution and the defense do not see eye to eye. The prosecution arguing that Trump's alleged scheme to keep an adult film actress quiet is election interference, pure and simple in those words. Trump defense lawyer, Todd Blanche told an adult film actress quiet is election interference

pure and simple in those words. Trump defense lawyer Todd Blanche told the jury that the former president though did not violate the law. Mmm. That's right. This is a classic case of the state of New York versus a no. Oh, no. Oh no you didn't.

I think it's pretty clear he did it. Anyway, this trial will obviously be a test of the fairness of the American legal system, but it's also a test of the media's ability to cover Donald Trump in a responsible way, a task they have acknowledged, they've performed poorly in the past. I think to the degree that the media had lessons turned in 16, they seem to have been learned. It was irresponsible for cable news networks to give Donald Trump hours and hours of free airtime. Way too much speculation and liberal wishful thinking and attempts to connect dots that did not connect. It's the media's responsibility to not get distracted.

I think we were much too busy chasing after shiny objects. All of us have learned some very valuable lessons from the last couple of years in delineating what's significant, what's important. So brave. Well done. And I think for this trial, we will see the seeds of that introspection bear fruit. Or we will learn that learning curves are for pussies. Here we go. It's on.

It's happening. History will be made. Shaping up to be the trial of the century. The trial of the century. But just might be the trial of the century. The taxman is here, Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald Donald the the the the the the the the century. The tax man is here, Donald Trump. He will finally be forced to face the music. The legal walls closing in around Donald Trump. The legal walls are starting to close in on Donald Trump. Yes, this time, Mr. Bond. It truly is your doom. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to leave

this room. Obviously when I leave, I'm not going to press this button right here that opens all the doors and dismantles the killing machine I've established. Don't follow me, Mr. Bond. Perhaps if we limit the coverage to the issues at hand and try not to create an all-encompassing spectacle of the most banal of details, perhaps that would help. You're looking at live pictures in New York City of Donald Trump's motorcade. It's about a 20-minute drive between Trump Tower and the court building. Trump leading Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. They're now making their way across town along 57th street. They just cross Park Avenue making their way up towards Lexington Avenue.

He's heading down the FDR. To the Manhattan Courthouse on Chamber Street. Arriving at this intersection of American history with defiance. Arriving at the intersection of American history with defiance, the brilliant juxtaposing of the gravitas of the moment with simple traffic terms was... He arrived at the intersection of American history, where he put a quarter in the parking meter of decimony. Leaving the car! Looking to avoid stepping in the urine puddle of jurisprudence. Seriously, are we going to follow this guy to court every fucking day? Are you trying to make this OJ? It's not a chase.

He's commuting. So, the media's first attempt, the very first attempt on the first day at self-control failed. And I'm sorry to say that it... I'm sorry, hold on, we're getting breaking news. You know, he wanted to get a jury seated. So we had a lady. Bill, I'm sorry to interrupt. Just for one second.

I apologize. We're just showing the first image of Donald Trump from inside the courtroom. It's a still photograph that we're showing there, just I want to make sure our viewers know what they're looking at. Yes, for our viewers who are just waking up from a 30-year coma. This is what Donald Trump has looked like every day for the past 30-year coma. This is what Donald Trump has looked like every day for the past 30 years. Same outfit. So we have a photograph of Donald Trump has looked like every day for the past 30 years. Same outfit. So we have a photograph of Donald Trump in the courtroom.

But do we really know what he looks like? The man is a mystery, a Yeti, if you will. Anything could be a deep fake. Do we have an eyewitness account, perhaps from a dismissed juror? Would you describe to me what you saw with Donald Trump, what you were sitting inside of that courtroom? Not very much. He was a bit ahead of me and off to the left. I didn't have a complete view of him today. Wait, did I have jury duty this week?

What the f-f. Brother, brother, drussees like me too, this is... Anyway, coming up, more of our three-part interview with a guy who nearly saw Donald Trump the courtroom. Anyway, coming up, more of our three-part interview with a guy who nearly saw Donald Trump in the courtroom. So we have a photograph, this freaking me out, that picture. We have a photograph and we have eyewitness accounts. But do we have anything in a pastel?

A courtroom sketch that we're getting in right now. I'm looking at the courtroom sketch and Mr. Trump looks like he is glowering. I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a glower or just a glance. I don't know how, ah, it's art. It's not necessarily, it's artistic journalism, but it's not a photograph. Why are you showing it to us? It's a sketch. Why would anyone analyze a sketch? Like it was, it'd be like looking at the last supper and going, why do you think Jesus looks so sad here?

What do you think? What do you think? It's because of Judas? What if we interview one of the waiters and one of the tables from like a different section of the restaurant who maybe didn't actually see him, but, you know, we got time to kill. Well, I guess we'll never know. Unless we could talk to the person who drew the sketch, but do we have the time? Nothing but. Christine Cornell, she was in the courtroom today, the official sketch artist.

I want to show one of your sketches today. We're going through some of them, but this one, it appears in this one that his eyes are closed. What was happening here? My apologies, ma'am. I was sitting 50 feet away. I was having such a struggle to try and get those eyeballs in. Damn it, woman! Does Donald Trump have eyeballs or no, man?

Does he or no? You were in the room. Tell me! Or I will not come to your tricket shop in Newpults. Tell me, woman. Well, what the fuck are we doing? Uh, I notice here his head is perfectly round. Why is that? Well I like drawing circles. At this point you're probably saying to yourself, how many television hours have they devoted to what Donald Trump, a man who has not been off any of our screens for more than 30 seconds

in the last eight years, looks like the answer is not nearly as many hours as describing his every movement. Trump craned his neck to eye prospective jurors and flashed a tight-lip smile. Leaning to the left a little bit quiet his arms crossed as well. He hunched over with his elbows on the desk. Looked through papers it periodically whispered to his attorneys. Figited and leaned back the scowl fixed to his face while he sat squinting. He was actually biting his lip during today's proceedings. His lips cursed in that characteristic Trump way. His eyeballs, gone.

The hulking former president stood up slowly, he walked towards me with a mixture of desire, scorn, and let's call it age-related confusion. It was then that I realized that this former president of the United States has a front butt. Look, at some point in this trial, something important and revelatory is going to happen. But none of us are going to notice because the hours spent on his speculative facial ticks, if the media tries to make us feel like the most mundane bullshit is earth shattering, we won't believe you when it's really interesting. It's your classic boy who cried wolf blitzer. Look it's a trial.

It's a trial. It's boring. Mostly. I've been on jury duty and I can... That's not me! That's a different guy! Why are you... It's not me. It may be me. Look. Trials are a lot of procedural shit and side conferences and sidebars and what's exhibit 37-2A and you're not out of order, this whole card is out of order. The one person who's had the most normal reaction to the trial so far is Donald Trump. Donald Trump fell asleep on multiple days during his criminal trial.

As he should. I mean, he's been up since 2 a.m. rage trial. As he should! I mean, he's been up since 2 a.m. rage tweeting. He needs his anger sleep. Look, we got a long ways to go here. It's the first day of the first of his 438 trials to come. Pace yourselves. And if you're bored, you can always start planning how you're going to fuck up covering his next trial and the sober mea culpah you'll deliver during his next term as president because the kinds of things that you are talking about now. Okay we did.

I know that voice. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! It's Jessica Williams! Jessica! How are you? But are you down at the courthouse? Are you there to give us a report? Yeah, I am. And here's my report. John Stewart hates fun. This trial rocks. Why you got be all get off my lawn about it. I don't necessarily sound like that, but... Well, close. As I was explaining though, the media has systematically failed to contextual... Oh, John, please, you're killing me. My poor, sweet, naive, older than I remember John. What? Really? We need this messy bullshit spectacle.

Every other news story is a massive bummer. This Trump trial is like an open window in a greyhound bus full of farts. Why are you trying to make a smell farts? Why are you trying to make a smell farts? I'm not trying to make a smell farts. You know John, you will try to make the smell farts. You know I would never do that. This trial is a gift. An extremely gross old man slash former president

might go to prison for banging a porn star and trying to pay her off. And you don't want us to cover that shit all day long? John, the first witness is named David Pecker. I mean, it's David Pecker, you know, pecker is slang for weaner, John. It's a peepy, a peeper. You know, a peeper. It's a peeper.

You know, a dingle, a dongle, a flimity bitch, you know. Can I, when you say pee-pee, but then the peeper, yeah? Wouldn't that be the owner of the p-pee? Different content. One guy has to be the other, the peeper. I'm not trying to be a grammar police, I'm just saying. I don't want to get in the weeds about it, thiiiito make sure that I'm clear that I'm talking about the name David Pecker and that it has a double meaning and the meaning is for Weiner. Shit. I know I'm sorry. I've missed you terribly. I've missed you terribly.

I missed you terribly. Shit. And then here you come with your old timey, high-falutin media critique ruining our good time, just like you ruined the 2012 Daily Show Christmas party. I didn't ruin that. What's not fun about mock tails and tofukey? I didn't ruin that. What's not fun about mock tails and toferky?

I didn't ruin it. Look, Jess, I hear what you're saying, but I thought my commentary on the sketch artist was quite trenching. Oh, you want to talk about courtroom sketches? Look at this! Win! Win! Win!

I have a pen and I scribble nonsense on my script before the show starts. Oh no, the Mets lost again. Win! Oh my God. Jess, did you actually draw that of me? Yeah, dude, because it's fun to do and people like fun, John. Anyway, I should get going. I think I see Pecker across the street.

David Pecker? I'm not sure whose penis it is, actually. Get it all the me. Jessica Williams, everybody. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it it it it it it th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus's thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus is thus is thus is thus is thus is thus is thus is thus is thus is thus is th is th thus is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus the's the's the's the the the the the the the the the the the thean thean thean thean thean thean. thean thruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com. Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post

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I'm Joc. And I'm Jordi. We are the hosts of the Midas Touch podcasts, the top rated Top Watch for Pro-Democracy content. Every single day we release new episodes reporting on the issues that matter most, without any of that both sides, corporate media BS that we are all so sick of. We also have conversations with incredible guests, like President Joe Biden. My name, the best politics is truth.

Second gentleman, Doug Mhoff, Secretary Pete Budajedge, Representatives Jasmine Crockett, Jared Moskowitz, and more. And it's much more than just a podcast. We have over 3 million subscribers on YouTube, so come see what the buzz is all about. Subscribe to the Midas Touch podcast, wherever you get your podcast. That's the Midas Touch. to the today.

Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Clapper and he is Ronnie Chang. Hey, hey, I can speak for myself. Can you help me say this next by? I definitely can. We got so much to talk about tonight. Joe Biden gets into a fight with Pop in New Guinea. Tick Tick might tick might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might be banned forever and we find out why people are yelling at your car. But first, Don Trump is being gag and tortured, so let's watch it, you pervert, in our ongoing

coverage of America's most tremendously wanted. The whole thing is a scam. Today was the second day of Trump's hush money trial, and the first witness was the editor of the National Enquirer. He testified that to help Trump win the 2016 election, he would buy scandalous stories about Trump and then bury them. And what a great job he did. I can't think of a single Trump scandal.

Or they could even get into that, they had to hold a separate a the the the the their a their a to to their a to to to hold a their to their to their to their.. to to their., to trueueuehuehue. true. tr. true. trueh. I, trueu. tr-a, tr-a, tr-a, tr-a, tr-s, tr-s, tr-s, tr-s, trueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueue. I, tr. I, tr.a, tr.a, tr.a, tr.a, true.a, t.a, t.a, t.a, t.a-s, true-s, true-s, true-s, true-s, true-s-s-shioooo-s-sh. Soe. Soa-s. Soa-s. Ia-s. Or they could even get into that. They had to hold a separate hearing to find out if Trump violated a gag order when he threatened jurors and witnesses. And that hearing did not go well for Trump. It was a pretty wild and intense hearing on Donald Trump's gag order. It all turned into a very heated exchange between the judge and Trump lawyer Todd Blanche, who argued that Trump is being very careful. Well a clearly frustrated Judge Mershon responded, Mr. Blanche, you're losing all credibility

with this court. Minutes after the hearing ended, Trump attacked the judge on social media, calling him a kangaroo court. Wow, this guy is incapable of keeping his mouth shut for two minutes. As Trump ever considered paying himself hush money? Think about it. But this is a complicated issue about balancing rights. Basically, the prosecution's argument is that a juror has the right to feel safe while serving on Donald Trump's jury.

While Donald Trump's argument is that that juror lives at 34 West 52nd Street, and maybe someone should pay that juror a visit and straighten him out. This gag order is serious. Trump might have to pay up to $1,000 per violation. Yeah, $1,000, that's not going to stop Trump from talking. You got to deal with this like any other tantrum. You gotta give Trump an iPad with cocoa melon on it and let him zone out. Okay.

Then he's gonna expect cocoa melon whenever he's upsets. Okay, well, we'll deal with that later. All right? We just need him to stop now. It gag order hearing, let's go to Desi Lydick. Dzi, Lydick. Dizzy, now, now that the gag order hearing is over, they can get back to focusing on the actual trial, right? Unfortunately, no, because during the gag order hearing, Donald Trump made a jerk off motion. So they needed a gag order hearing

to see if that violated the gag order before they could get back to the first gag order. Oh, but then after that, it's all set. No, because during that gag order hearing, the judge heard Trump saying, I'm Judge Peephead. And when the judge asked, did you just call me Judge Peephead? Trump said he was just rehearsing for a community theater production where he plays a judge named Peephead.

So then they had to have a hearing about that. But once that's done, the actual case. Yes. But no. Because during that hearing, Trump made another jerk-off motion. But then he said it wasn't th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-a-s-s-s-s-a-a-s-a-s, thothat hearing, Trump made another jerk off motion. But then he said it wasn't a jerk off motion, so they need a quick hearing to determine how he jerks off. Then a hearing about whether he made the jerk off motion, then Judge Peehead, then the first jerk off hearing,

then the gag order. And then the actual case? The hush money case. Oh, nobody remembers that. Keep up with a news cycle, Jordan. You're at the desk for God's saying. Yes, thank you, Desi. We'll check back in with you later. Now, clearly Trump thinks he's being treated unfairly in this trial, and he's not the only one. Something to get ordered is just the start of the oppression Trump is

facing. Okay, Jesse let me start with you and the prosecution says this is election fraud and they say pure and simple is it? I call it pure evil so they've taken away his freedom of speech and now they've taken away his freedom of movement. I mean they had more allowancesances their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. tre. tre. I tre. I's tre. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. I'm. I'm. I'm. Ia. treo. Ia. I'm. I'm. treo. Ie. tre. I'm. tre. I'm. I'm. te. they've taken away his freedom of movement. I mean they had more allowances for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Oh okay that sounds wild but I think Jesse Waters is a reasonable man because I was kicked in the head by a horse last week so let's hear him out. How is Trump being treated worse than the mastermind of 9-11? The guy needs exercise.

He's usually golfing. And so you're going to put a man who's almost 80, sitting in a room like this on his butt for all that time. It's not healthy. He needs sunlight. And he needs activity. He needs to be walking around. It's really cruel and unusual punishment to make a man do that. Are we talking about Donald Trump or an old English sheepdog?

You can't keep him cooped up all day. He needs time outside or he'll pee on the couch? Look, we all know how Donald Trump loves exercise because of this trowel he's been morbidly obese for the last 40 years. Yeah. I mean, though, would Trump even want fresh air and exercise? These actually sound like the punishments the judge would give Trump if he's convicted. Yeah, I know, he's like, fresh air and exercise, just give me the death penalty.

But listen, I'll give Jesse Waters the better for the doubt, because I was also kicking the head by the same horse horse, so. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the their, thi, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. tru. tru. tru. tru. the. theat. theat, theat, theat, the theat, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the same horse. So let's let him continue. This isn't law fair, it's torture. They're making a 77-year-old man sit inside a dingy room for eight hours straight, four days a week. Wow. Eight hours a day, four days a week, it's literally torture. Or, as the rest of the world calls it, a job. A part-time job, to be fair. I mean, this is the same guy who's asking to be president of the United States. I mean, that's got to be at least a 40-hour-a-week gig. I mean, is it going to get overtime? Also, I thought Trump was supposed to be the young, vigorous candidate in the race.

Now, what he needs sympathy, suddenly he's a poor, he crippled by the weight of his own body pulverizing his bones into dust against the chair. You know what? Get that horseback out here because I want to give Jesse one more chance. They're telling the entire world all the wackos this is where the former president's going to be at this date at this time surrounded by high-rise buildings. Yes it's very dangerous for people to know Trump's exact location, which is why he lives in a nondescript building with his name on the front. The Trump campaign also tells us where he's going to be and exactly when. They're called Trump rallies, and it's how I know where to go to get yelled at.

And, you know, the worst part about him being on trial is that, they're just treating him like some, he's some kind of criminal defendant. Today, the former president of the United States, if he leaves court to go to the restroom, jail. If he calls the prosecutor corrupt, jail. If Trump moves or says anything, they scream, jail. If he makes us recycling, jail. If he scratches his crotch, jail. Yeah. Yeah. He gets a high score on the SAT, Yale. His favorite Batman, Christian Bale. Yeah.

His favorite vegetable? French fries. Yeah. Definitely not kale. But he is going to jail. He's gonna go jail. Meanwhile, with Donald Trump trapped in the courthouse, it was a perfect opportunity for Joe Biden to seize the initiative. And, hey man, you got the campaign all to yourself, Mr. President. Time to press your advantage. The Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea has angrily denied a false claim by President Biden that his uncle was eaten by cannibals during World War II. He flew those single-engine planes as reconnaissance over war zones. He got shot down in New Guinea, and they never found the body because there used to be, there were a lot of cannibals for real in that part of New Guinea.

You're going to lose the election. Look, at some point we all get to an age where we confuse our own life story with the plot of Indiana Jones. It happens. It happens. No, it's true. I mean, the man's 80, okay? We all have grandparents who tell crazy stories.

My grandfather told me that he once wrestled a mountain lion with his bare hands. Yeah, my grandfather told me that he's, their their their their their their their their, their, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, thoomomomomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomoomorrow, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to tho, too. And, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom?. And, t tho. Yeah, my grandfather told me that he cheated on my grandmother through their entire marriage and had a second family. Get out of here, Grandpa, you're goofful. And can I just say, even if this story was true, Americans are no position to criticize how anyone else eats, okay? These cannibals eat people. Yeah, well, you know what? We eat subway sandwiches just to lose weight. Right?

But what a cannibal to even eat people out of a wreckage? I mean, that's like their version of eating roadkill. Yeah, I know. You want to eat like pasture-raised, grass-fed humans. And by the way, I know, I know, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I know, I know, I their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to their, to eat, to eat, their. their. to eat, the, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. toe, toe, too, too, too, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their too, toe, toe if someone accused my country of being cannibals, I just run with it. Like, don't fuck with us or put your dick on a Kaiser room. Yeah. That's fair. That's fair.

Anyway, Biden apologized to the Papua New Guinea prime minister by inviting him to a dinner with Pete Budaugge, who will be served over rice with a balsamic reduction. So, yeah. Before, th go, th th th th the, the, the the the the the they, they, they, they. they. they. they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I thi. I thi. I thoom. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I to t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I th. I th.alsamic reduction. So, yeah. All right. Before we go, let's shut back in with Daisy Leidig down at the courthouse. Desi. Dizzy. Okay, so, uh, any updates on the gag order hearing? Actually, yes.

The Democrats are now asking for a new gag order. What, what did Trump do this time? No, they're asking the judge to issue a gag order on Joe Biden. It's really the only way to stop him telling uncle cannibal stories. Wait, the Democrats are asking Biden to... But if Biden has a gag order won't that affect his ability to the campaign? Yes. At this point, the DNC feels strongly that that's his best shot at winning. Otherwise, his strongest supporters will be cannibals, and that's a dwindling voting block

for obvious reasons. All right, Desiliting, everybody. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show week nights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. If you're listening to this ad, it's no accident unless you forgot to hit Skip. But for marketers, finding the right audience matters. We worked hard for your attention. But you don't need to for your business.

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