The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI: Jon Stewart on MAGA's Cancel Culture | Trump Avoids Trial Testimony

Episode Date: May 25, 2024

Despite Fox News’s outrage following criticism of Harrison Butker’s controversial commencement speech, Jon Stewart explains how cancel culture actually runs rampant among the MAGA-verse for those who dare speak out against Donald Trump. Plus, Michael Kosta covers Trump shying away from testifying in his own criminal trial along with Rudy Giuliani’s latest money-making scheme, tummy-friendly coffee.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. We've got a great show for it tonight. There is so much going on in the world right now. The president of Iran died in a helipocop the crash. The international criminal court is moving towards arrest warrants for BB Netanyahu. And Michael Cohen admitted on the stand today. warrants for BB Netanyahu and Michael Cohen admitted on the stand today.

He stole money from the Trump organization. Only in a Donald Trump trial would the star witness be the one who ends up going to jail. How lucky is Donald Trump? Donald Trump is like a corruption Mr. Magoo. He's just stumbling around, quid pro quoin, metal beams falling all around them, gets out completely unscathed. But forget about all that,

because there is one story still with so many unanswered questions. It made its way all the way to the White House Press Corps. Can we still assume that the Kansas City Chiefs will be visiting the White House this year in celebration of their Super Gold Victory? You confirm is the Chiefs kicker, Harrison Buckeer, welcome at this White House? Bunker! Apparently the Kansas City Chiefs Field Gold Kicker gave a conservative Catholic commencement speech at a conservative Catholic college.

Seems expected. Although we did have a shout out to the ladies. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. Ha ha! Hey! Apparently, enjoy the PTA, bitches.

Not the advice you want to hear when you're $100,000 in debt, earning a degree in electrical engineering. But I imagine that the cancellation of one Harrison Butker was swift and unforgiving at the White House. What I can say is we invite the entire team and we do that always. I don't have anything beyond that. Aha! You woke karate at the Communist... Wait, I'm sorry, what was that? What did you? He can still go to the White House and be on his football team and all that's really happened

is some people roasted him on Tick-Tock. So I guess this is just kind of a passing distraction. Or if you happened to tune into more conservative media. Major scandal rocking the NFL. Players in big trouble. Not for doing drugs, betting, or beating women, but because he's Christian. The left seeks to destroy an outspoken NFL Catholic.

He's been docks, he's been slammed, they're calling for him to be canceled. The left hates Christian values. They will try to denigrate you, isolate you, cancel you, and ultimately silence you completely. But be not afraid. How can I be not afraid when what you have proffered is so afraidable? How can I be not afraid when what you have proffered is so afraidable. By the way, and you're hitting us with that King James sentence structure.

Be not afraid. People only say that when they're shit to be afraid of. Let's say three to four horsemen. But my question to the right, I guess, is, have you never been on the internet before? Because that's all it is. It's just people giving you, to be a thi. th, and the the, and the, and the, and to, and to, and the, and the, and to, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,the right, I guess, is, have you never been on the internet before? Because that's all it is. It's just people giving each other shit all the time. I mean, my God, you're all so thin skin. Look, Jerry Seinfeld took more shit over the past two weeks

promoting a pop-tart movie than Harrison Butker did for his entire speech and I ask you people what is the deal with that? I'm not doing an impression. I legitimately would like to know why he's taking so much shit about everything from everybody. And who are these people? It's so hard not to do the voice. And who are? These people! All right. Now, it's, it's, it's, it's, please. Oh, it's, the Jerry Seinfeld impression is the first thing a Jew learns in kindergarten. It's not. Of course, nothing about the right-wing reaction is surprising, because the idea that there is

an all-pervasive, all-powerful threat to free speech called cancel culture has become a central tenet of modern conservatism. They celebrate they're being silenced at conferences. They celebrate they're being silenced on podcasts and streaming outlets. They celebrate they're being silenced with over 700 book titles about being canceled. Why are there so many of these fucking books? Unless you don't know nobody reads anymore. And by the way if you already read a War on Woke and Woke Inc., you're really not going to learn anything from woke warriors. And the learn anything from woke warriors. Conservatives have an entire industry devoted to complaining about not being allowed to say

the things they say all the time. Their victimhood is the entire brand. You can no longer say somebody is homeless. You have to say they are unhoused. Free phones, food and clothing sounds like a great deal. A homeless woman in a Democratic-run city. Pretty sure we won't be allowed to say illegal aliens because it'll be hate speech and therefore illegal. Illegal aliens streaming across our border. Trans Agenda is a religion now. Convert or be canceled. Big trans is a real knack for making everything about themselves. Dare to speak your mind about issues like pro-life? Well, your life

could be ruined forever. You could be canceled. I'm never going to apologize for being pro-life. How did we get to the point where we can't say all lives matter? As a matter of fact, all lives matter. All of you still speak, how? Doesn't the woke mob have cable? But this is their identity now. Constant victimization. They say what they want, and if you get upset about it, you don't believe in freedom. I just believe in freedom.

Why are liberals so afraid of freedom and freedom of speech? I don't get outraged. If you don't like with somebody saying, you can turn off the TV, turn off a radio dial, turn off a podcast, walk out of a commencement. Or you could buy a different beer than Bud Light without going into your back swamp and assassinating sitbacks. You're so unbelievable. They're so unbelievable. They're so full of shit that Sean Hannity can say with a square head,

I'm not the kind of guy who gets outraged. Sean Hannity! He's basically just a meatbag support system for a forehead vein. Tonight every American has a right to be angry and ticked off. We have a story that will make your blood boil. Now the left is hell-bent on banning Dr. Seuss. Pepe la Pue, Dumbo, Peter Panner on the chopping block. Sanctimonious, self-righteous, frankly, overpaid, lazy, agenda-driven, liars.

What a pompous jackass. Do you even know what my job is? What part of this can't you get through your thick head? My message tonight to these snowflakes is very simple. You people discuss me. But every snowflake is different. We can't all discuss you. Look, it is absolutely true that in our modern social media-driven society, our interactions are incentivized and monetized for outrage.

And it is fucking exhausting for everyone. But contrary to your conservative book industry, the outrage isn't just coming from the left. It's coming from the left, the right, for the right, for the left, and the Swifties, and Y-A readers, and anybody who dares to lift their head up to say fucking anything. We are not censored or silence. We are surrounded by and inundated with more speech than has ever existed in the history of communication.

And it is all weaponized by professional outrage hunters of all stripes. Scouring the globe for graduation speech snippets, offhand comments during promotional tours, out-of-context comedy bits, for graduation speech snippets, offhand comments during promotional tours, out of context comedy bits, lame marketing ideas, or any words and phrases they believe they can latch onto to generate monetized clicks. Outrage is the engine of our modern media economy. And sometimes, someone loses a job or something else happens like that that should never

fucking happen. But... But... But... something else happens like that that should never fucking happen. But, I leaned over so far, I may never get back up again. But contrary to conservatives victimization complex, there is no organized cancel culture conspiracy where even the slightest misstep can 100% get someone on the right canceled. Actually, there is, oh, there is one. Congresswoman Liz Cheney gets kicked out of Wyoming's Republican Party for opposing Trump. Yeah, as irony would have it. It turns out that when it comes to cancel culture, the ones who smelt it,

dealt it. There is someone canceling people on the right. But the only one cancelling people on the right. But the only one canceling people on the right is Donald Trump and anyone who dares speak out against him refuse to buy into Trump's stolen election claims and you'll lose your job like Liz Cheney or countless others. In fact everything the right says cancel culture does to them is actually being done by MAGA. For example. They will shout you down and try to shut you down as opposed to them is actually being done by MAGA. For example.

They will shout you down and try to shut you down as opposed to discuss with you. Yes, the woke mob shouts you down. And what happens when you're a Republican and dare criticize the boy king? That is a failure of leadership. And I, you can boo all you want. But here's the thing.

Donald Trump is running to stay out of prison. And if we elect... I know, I know, I know, I know. Now, you know me as a person who says what he thinks, and I don't hide the fact that I wasn't a fan of our last president's character issues. And I'm also no fan... Show some damn respect, Romney, you piece of shit, mother-f-f-f-ha'-m'er. It's called class. Like I was telling your mother last night, A! Hickory-dickery door, man.

Your mom was fucking a moor, man. Oh, you like them. What's a... What's another... Yeah, they like the poetry. By the way, what's another thing that the Wright hates about woke cancel culture? Many Americans feel forced to stay silent for fear of upsetting the cancel culture mob.

Yes, under cancel culture you can only speak your truths in private while denying them in public. For instance, this poor young fellow who privately wrote of Trump, he's a demonic force, a destroyer. I hate him passionately. He wrote in private, but of course in public fearing the cancel mob, he's forced to stand next to his tormentor with what can only be described as the fakest of over laugh faces. Grab him by the pussy! That's a ha ha ha! Ah! But that's cancel culture.

It won't let you speak your truth. In fact, it makes you do something even worse. The left is married to censorship and has nothing else. That's how you get people to believe in an alternate reality. Yeah, the woke mob is so permicious. It forces you to deny reality. Like, imagine if Trump ever gave a speech about January 6th, where he clearly confuses Nikki Haley with Nancy Pelosi. Imagine if Trump ever gave a speech about January 6th, where he clearly confuses Nikki

Haley with Nancy Pelosi. Nicky Haley, you know, did you know they destroyed all of the information, all of the evidence, everything? Because of lots of things, like Nicky Haley is in charge of security. We offered her 10,000 people. Now in a healthy discourse, you would just go, hey man, you know, everybody brain farts sometimes, you know, whatever it is. But under the MAGA Cancell Culture mob, people like Congresswoman Stefani have to pretend this was all part of a grand strategy.

That isn't a mix-up. The reality is Nikki Haley is relying on Democrats, just like Nancy Pelosi to try to have a desperate showing in New York, in New Hampshire. But he was talking about January 6th. President Trump has not lost a step. He is a stronger candidate. Stronger than he is today, than he was in 2016 and he was in 2020.

He is reverse aging. He is stronger. He is Benjamin Botan. He will be our wisest baby president. And by the way, denying reality still won't save you. There is no level of loyalty deep enough to be free of Trump cancel culture. Rona McDaniel literally dropped Romney from her name to keep Trump happy, and he still fired her. And that Romney name had gotten her into all the hottest clubs in Salt Lake City.

Yeah, the ones with lattes. Truth is, Trump is the real cancel culture, emphasis on cult. Because on the right, you can say whatever the fuck you want about gay people and trans people from Tick Tock to Patrion. You can decry DEI from podcast to, I don't know, the governor's office of Florida. And chances are not only will you be fine, you'll get thi thi thi thi the thi their thi their thi their that their their their that their that I don't know, the governor's office of Florida. And chances are not only will you be fine, you'll get a raise.

But if you ever dare speak out one iota against Donald Trump, be yes afraid. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show. We're going to be talking about the election. Economics. Ingredient to weekly show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Big news today the Trump trial is coming to an end and just like Stormy Daniel said it was over much more quickly than expected. And we've heard from so many people during this trial.

This blonde blob, this other blob, this one blob with the mustache. You know, it's just too bad no one's invented cameras yet. But we haven't heard from the biggest blob of them all, Donald Trump, who has been going around telling anybody who will listen that he is just itching to testify under oath. I would have no problem testify. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm testifying. I tell the truth.

I mean, all I can do is tell the truth. Do you plan to testify in court? Probably so, I would like to, I mean, I think so. Will you testify in your own defense? Oh yes, absolutely. You take the stand. That I would, that I look forward to. President Trump are going to testify. Yes.

Right at the buzzer, yeah. Yes. But yes, Donald Trump has been saying for months how much he wants to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to testify. to to testify. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to to to testify. to testify. to to to to to to to to to test. test. test. test. test. test. testify. testify. testify. testify. testify. testify. testify. testify. testify. testify, testify, testify. testify, tooooooooooo. too. to Yes. But yes, Donald Trump has been saying for months how much he wants to testify. He's like, let's do it. Swear me in on that shiny book that Mike Pence is always blah, blah, lying about. And after four weeks of trial, today it was finally time for Trump to tell his side of the story. So here we go, big guy. It's the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity then has has has has then then Trump to tell his side of the story. So here we go, big guy. It's the opportunity you've been waiting for. The defense has rested. Testimony has wrapped and Donald Trump notably did not

take the stand. What? What? What? After talking such a big game, he's not testifying? So he's doing the opposite of what he told us? He was gonna do over and over again? That's not theify. So he's doing the opposite of what he told us he was going to do over and over again? That's not the Donald Trump I know and I played, I played full contact hockey without a helmet this morning, but it's just so peculiar that outside the courtroom with his legal pads of notes he just talks and talks and talks. But then if you ask him to walk just a few feet inside the courtroom and to swear to to to to to tell tell tell tell tell to tell tell tell tell tell to tell to tell to tell tell to to tell the to the the to to the to to to the to the to the the the the the to toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try.e.e.e.e.e.e. te. te. te. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. true. hea. talks and talks. But then if you ask him to walk just a few feet inside the courtroom and to swear to tell the truth under penalty of law, suddenly he's afraid to speak? I mean, what's the difference?

Is it the fluorescent lighting? I mean, I hate to even come to this conclusion, but is it possible that Donald Trump is full of shit? I mean, Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump, are you just full of shit? Yes. Yes. Well, I really wanted that. Yeah, well, we should believe him that.

Let's move on from Donald Trump to his morally and financially bankrupt former lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. Last week, he had an 80th birthday party and he got a little surprise present. Rudy Giuliani was served with an indictment over the Arizona 2020 fake elector scheme during his 80th birthday party late Friday. Giuliani was served two hours after boasting on social media that he would invade charges. God damn, I mean, served at his own birthday party. Can you imagine? You know? Hey, can someone take a picture of me taunting the Arizona court? Hey, how about you? Man in a

suit and a badge at my birthday party that I've never seen before? And this indictment is on top of a $150 million defamation judgment against him. Rudy need cashy, all right? But luckily he's got a side hustle. Today I'm thrilled to introduce you to something I'm incredibly proud of. My own brand of organic specialty coffee, Rudy coffee. Believe me when I say it's the best coffee you'll ever try. It's smooth, rich, chocally, and gentle on your stomach. Wow, gentle on my stomach and chocally.

I mean, I'll have mine with malk and slugger. Also, cool apartment, dude. I mean, your kitchen says serial killer, but the rest of your apartment says still serial killer. And look, I'm glad there's finally a coffee commercial that's somehow creepier than the Folger's one where the brother and sister clearly want to bone each other. I just can't believe he's calling it Rudy's coffee and not ground zero. Oh! Let me keep going. And in case you're wondering where this delicious-looking coffee is sourced from,

I can assure you it comes directly from Rudy himself. I told you, well, you never heard a drip coffee? By the way, why is it that you only see right-wing grifters hawking these cheap products? Rudy's coffee, Alex Jones's supplements, Donald Trump's everything? I mean, how come we don't see liberals getting grifted? I'll tell you why. Because liberals are too smart to fall for this patronizing scams that are like this. And as I explain in my new book, liberals are too smart to be scammed. Available on my website for just 79-99.

Order now and shipping is doubled. But look, it's important to remember that Rudy wouldn't be doing any of this if he wasn't so deep in debt from all his legal bills. It's actually kind of heartbreaking. But you can help for the price of just one bag of coffee, you can get this poor, broke, election denier, back on his feet. Will you please help him smile again? Oh, gross, no, not like that. Forget it. Take that away.

Never mind. Never mind, never mind. All right, let's move on to his story out of Australia. Australia, the country named after the 2008 Hugh Jackman film, Australia. It's where one billionaire is learning that money can't buy you respect. An Australian billionaire is apparently not too happy with a portrait of herself that's on public display. That is Australia's richest woman, Gina Reinhardt. She is one of 21 people featured in the Australia in

color exhibit that's been on display since March at the National Gallery of Australia. It's reported Ryanhard is demanding that the gallery remove the portrait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, remove the portrait? You don't want people to know you testified at Donald Trump's trial? But anyway, what's the big deal with having an unflattering painting of you? You don't see any of Picasso's models complaining that their eye is on their forehead. Suck it up, lady.

Even even if you don't like it, don't whine about it. Wining is what the rest of us do. Wining is free. You have money. Just pay another artist to paint a flattering portrait of you. Then buy the museum and hang your portrait over the other portrait. Then burn the whole museum down for the insurance money and you end up making a profit. Billionaire shit, let's go. But this story, yeah, I mean, use your head.

But this story is really the proof that maybe billionaires aren't as smart as we all think they are. You know, if this woman hadn't complained about this painting, practically nobody would have ever seen it. Hell, I never would have heard of Gina Reinhart, or Australia, for that matter. Animals with pockets? Who thinks of this stuff? And finally, let's turn to a story about artificial intelligence. Last week, Open AI released a new version of chat GPT that could talk. And a lot of people heard it and thought, huh, this AI voice sounds a lot like Scarlet Johansson.

And one of those people was Scarlet Johansson. This morning an AI warning from Hollywood. Actress Scarlet Johansson saying this voice used by open AI's virtual assistant Sky. Hello I'm really excited about teaming up with you. Sounds quote eerily similar to her own. Hi. How you doing? The actress famously played an artificial intelligence system in the movie her in 2013. Johansson says Open AI CEO Sam Altman wanted to hire her to voice Sky, but that she declined the offer due to personal reasons. The actress telling NBC News, when she later heard the AI voice, she was shocked, angered,

and in disbelief. This is not acceptable. Open AI should be punished for attempting to steal Scarlet Johanson's voice. In fact, from now on, they should have th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, th. and, thi, thi, and, and, and, and, thi, and, and, and, and, thin, and, and, and, thin, and, and, thin, thin, and, and, thin.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea, the Scarlet Johansson's voice. In fact, from now on, they should have to use an off-putting voice, like my uncle Dan, who's been smoking his whole life, you know? You don't want to go to that restaurant. That neighborhood's gotten real diverse, if you know what I mean. I miss Vietnam. For more on the Scarlet Johansen controversy, we go live to San Francisco

home of Open AI headquarters with Ronnie Chang. How did Sam Altman think he'd get away with this? Because he's a nerd and nerds have too much power now, okay, look at Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk. You can't trust these f's a nerd and nerds have too much power now, okay? Look at Mark Zuckerberg, Jebezos, Elon Musk. You can't trust these fucking nerds. Okay, I don't think that's an appropriate term. What? Feeck or nerds? Because what else do you call a bunch of weirdos who spend all day on computers and don't act around women? I mean, I call them socially awkward, shy, introverted. You call nerds, the nerds, the fucking nerds, okay? And nerds used to know their place. Okay, they knew their rules. Don't act weird. Don't make eye contact. Don't bring up Star Trek. Just keep

your head down and get a job at NASA or hosting a show on MSNBC, okay, and it worked. Nature was in balance. But at some point, we decided bullying was mean because nerds had feelings. And then you start treating them with respect, and that was a mistake. All right, but Ronnie, doesn't everyone deserve respect?

I swear to God, Michael, you sound like a thiiiiii. Don't you understand, we gave them too much power. And look what happened. They took all out of financial system and now it's full of crypto. We let them build a tech industry and now we're all mentally ill from social media. We even shaped our pop culture to cater to them and we've got 20 years of nothing but shitty superhero movies except for the Asian ones. Those are great. Okay. All right. All right. All right. So you're right. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So, the th. So, the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. ta. ta. too too. too. too. too. te. too. too. too. too. too. too. thi. thi. thi. holy shit. All right. All right. All right. So you're right. So then what do we do?

The only solution is to make up for lost time, okay? We have to find Sam Altman and give him 20 years worth of bullying all at once. Okay. I'm talking two decades worth of wedges and one wedgey, okay? I want that underwear to go around his head and then again over and over and over until his ass can smell his face. Okay. All right, but what type of fabric would have the tensile strength to support the recrusive

force required to... Wait, I don't know what I look like a fucking nerd? Get that science shit out of here. So let me be clear. So you're advocating bullying. I'm advocating balance, okay. Our ecosystem. thiiiiiiiiiolkiose. the ecosystem. thiolki. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolioliolome. thioliolome. toe. toe. thi. thi. toe. toe. tooom, tooom, to. No, I'm advocating balance, okay? Our ecosystem requires a proper mix of nerds and bullying, and it's out of whack right now, okay? And I'm willing to be the hero that will get things back on track.

I don't, I don't know, Ronnie. I mean, I don't know, Ronnie. Is bullying ever really the answer? You shut the fuck up, okay? Don't, th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, to, tho, to, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho, bullying ever really the answer? You shut the fuck up, okay? Don't look me in the eye and give me a lunch money. Okay, I'm right, you're right. You're right. Rani Ching, everybody, sorry. I'm... Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show,

wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show week nights at at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a comedy central podcast. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show. We're going to be talking about the election. Economics. Ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast.