The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI - Jordan Klepper: Good Guy with a Gun

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

Jordan Klepper sets out to determine the likelihood of another gun owner stopping an active shooter. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Now if there's one thing I've learned living in America, there's only one way to stop a bad guy with a gun. And for that, Jordan Klepper filed this report. It seems like every day there's a new mass shooting, but turn on the TV and the solution is crystal clear. We should arm the good guys. Whether it's in Denny's or in a classroom. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun. There's a good guy with a gun. Sounds like a foolproof plan. It's time to do my duty. the to the to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to do my the the the to do my to do my the the to do the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the. the. the. too. today. tooooooooooooo. today. to. to. to. to. today. the. the. the. the. Good guy with a gun. One good guy with a gun. There's a good guy with a gun.

Sounds like a foolproof plan. It's time to do my duty. It's time to become Jordan Clepper, good guy with a gun. The first thing any good guy with a gun needs is his concealed handgun license, which in Obama's New York City is almost impossible to get. Luckily, it's super easy in Florida. You don't even have to fucking live there. You can just mail in an application.

And once that gets approved, it instantly becomes valid in these 30 states. So, all I have to do to qualify for my handgun license is, buy a stamp and pass any NRA gun safety course. Bucle up, Buttercup, Daddy's packing. I've come to the New Jersey Firearms Academy to train with Chief Instructor and Cowboy Silo Green impersonator, Latift Dickerson. Chief, what do we have here?

We have some handguns, the H&K Heckler and Coke model, USP. This gun here is a Glock Model 19. Which one does this good guy get? You get this one. Seriously? This mustard-colored toy? It's not a toy. That is a plastic training gun, and we're going to keep it pointing in the same direction as though it were a real firearm. Oh, I'm gonna hit somebody with the bubbles that it blows out?

It's called muzzle discipline. Great. Just want you to know, I don't obey any rules. Kind of a wild card. You have to obey all the rules when it comes to firearms. Right, I get to die well. But who knows, you know? There's a wild car in there, anything can happen. It can't happen. It won't happen here, but... But I'm just kind of one of those guys. I'm a rule breaker. Don't break any rules. I won't break any rules. Teach me how to shoot a gun. Chief broke down all the key points of firearm safety, like aiming. Contact on the grip, wrap those around, and that's how you aim. Suck on this metal. And not like that. What, what am I?

Can't talk with a gun in your mouth. No. What? Not turn the gun sideways. Keep the gun vertical up and down. thup. thup. thup. thup. thup. thooooooooo. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thoom. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thoom. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. turn the gun sideways. Keep the gun vertical up and down. Okay, if I hold it like this, can I still say, suck on this piece? No. Good guys don't tell bad guys to suck on their piece before they shoot them. What do they do? Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. Then I was ambushed by a grueling written exam. It was three entire pages, double-sided, multiple choice. Stop fiddling with it, you'll break it off. What I'm not used to say. The test contained brainbusters like, true or false, always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction.

That's actually a question. It's pretty much a no-brainer. It's true. Right? It's true. Yeah. Yeah. It was tough, but luckily I had a few bullets up my sleeve. Of course. You a share fan chief? I do not like share. More for me. Now there's only one thing standing between me, share and saving American lives. Firing an actual for real life handgun. Turns out, I'm a fucking natural.

Boom. All right. All right. Let's see how you did. All right. Let's try to hit him in the dick, but you didn't give you the croch for it. In this basic firearms course, we just want to keep our shots in the center of the target. Yeah, but you could make the target bigger so the crotch is in the center of the it comes here, and then right here is just total crotch. Right now, we're just trying to keep our shots in the center of the target. So?

Okay. How'd I do? You're good to go, you pass. And then I come back tomorrow and we continue the training? If you want to train some more, I knew it! I knew it! I'd done it. I'd gone from gun idiot to idiot with a gun. Qualified to conceal a deadly weapon in most of the country, probably in your home state. With all of eight hours of training, I was ready to handle every crisis situation. You're not ready to handle every crisis situation. Who the fuck are you? I'm Pete Blair, I'm the director of the alert. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii to to handle every crisis situation. Who the fuck are you? I'm Pete Blair, I'm the director of the Alert program.

Alert! Or the Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training Program has trained over 80,000 cops to respond to active shooter events. So why was this dude trying to jam up on my gun nuts? Because you've had one day of training. I see how it is. You want to take away guns? I would want to take away anybody's gun. Good. But I would want to help train them. Okay.

I'll tell you, 30 states, the NRA and Uncle Sam all think that I'm good to go when it comes to guns. How many rounds did you shoot? Yeah, and I shot him at the paper. I would recommend more training. Come at me, bro. This is your weapon again. I'm handing into you as a hot weapon. Okay. Alert agreed to test my Eastwood-like reflexes in the following simulation. There's an active shooter in the building. With my Glock 17 modified to shoot paintball-like bullets, I'm the good guy with a gun. the good guy who's gonna take him down. Okay, so you need to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be the to be to be. the to to the to to to to the to to the th. th. the th. th. the th. the tho the the tho tho. the thathea. tho. th. th. to to to to to to to to th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. t. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. th so you need to be ready. It could happen in any second. From this point on, just need to be ready. Stop! Stop! Okay, that was a test run. I wasn't even ready.

Probably not gonna be ready for it in real life. But I get a do-over. Let's do it over again. So I kneel down and prepared to. And again. And again. And again. They fired. They fired. Why was that so hard? That was nothing like call of duty. I told you it's not that simple. Yeah, but the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

That's science. That's inaccurate. About one out of every five actor-auteur events get stopped by a potential victim at the scene and most of those victims are unarmed. Where did you get those stats from some liberal think tank like Hillary Pack? No, it's from the FBI report that came out last year, a study of active shooter incidents from 2000 to 2013. Obama's FBI? It's the FBI. Yeah, you believe that liberal clap trap? I'm one of the co-authors of the report. I took a closer look at his report and it pretty much proved my good guy theory. There are some cases where we have good guys with guns who are able to stop the shooter. Most cases? Very few cases.

Half the cases. Not half. A quarter of the cases. Not a quarter of the cases. What's the percent? It's about 3 percent? But these guys said the only way the the the the the the the the said the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. We must not have enough guns. 97% more people had guns, 100% of the time, there'd be 0% crime. I'm not sure that's how math works. Pete, it's simple. Gun goes bang, bad guy falls down. I get to have sex with share. What more do I need to learn?

If you're going to have a gun, we recommend as much training as you can get. Fine, I'll train some more. Alert uses this abandoned elementary school to teach law enforcement to teach law enforcement to respond to active shooter events. Their on-site traders have over 40 years of combined experience in military and law enforcement. Training with these guys, I'd finally get enough training. There's never enough training. You're never good enough. It's not so much a destination, it's a journey. But that destination is Heroville in the state of low job land. It's just, I mean, like when you're a hero, cool stuff happens. Oh. I've got a condo there.

It's a handjob village, but you guys should come by sometime. Absolutely no I don't think that's gonna hot. I'm getting lost in this bed before. Yes, yes. After yet another four and a half more hours of training, it was time to show them how it's done. The scenario is as follows. I hear shots fired at an elementary school. Police are on the way. But with innocent civilians inside. I have a the th. th. their th. th. their th. their. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toes. toes. I'm toes. I'm t. I's t. I's toes. I's thoes. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's to. I's to. I's to. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. to. to. to. tooo. toooooooooooooooooe. I'm toe. I'm t civilians inside, I have to draw my concealed handgun and respond. With a high-tech safety helmet to cover my face and a fucking towel to protect my dick and balls, I'm ready to be a hero. There's the bad guy, mission accomplished. You're bad, are you bad? You're bad?

Are you bad? Okay, so that wasn't the bad guy. So where are the bad... the bad? the bad? thah. thah. thah. thah. tha? tha. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thoom's that. that. thoom's th th thoom. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I. I. they are, there they are. I'm being shot. Oh thank God, the authorities are here. I just hope they know I'm a good guy. I had failed. Do you guys need help? I'm a good guy. I was shot over 20 times by two different bad guys with guns and then the police mistook me for a bad guy and shot me a bunch too. Also I may have shot an unarmed team twice in the chest. It was tough. Being a good guy with a gun was starting to feel way more complicated than movies and video games and politicians make it seem. It's a complex situation and you don't want to just give people guns and say, you assume they know what they're of training. Who's got time for that much training? People who are going to dedicate their lives to protecting others.

That's it. Being a good guy with a gun just takes a lifetime commitment to training. All we have to do is figure out who the good guys are. Get millions of them to volunteer for 300 hours of training a year, costing billions of dollars, right time, guns at the ready, and place this civilian army in our 4,700 colleges, 5,700 hospitals, 48,000 malls, hundreds of thousands of churches, you know, America. Just do that. Or... Can we just, I don't know, figure out a way to not put a gun in this asshole's hand?

It's not my, not my place for that, right? I feel like that's an idea. I just, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th.e, the, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat feel like that's an idea just try to get this asshole to not have a gun. Well I don't think that's gonna happen in our lifetime. Well it was worth a shot at least I can conceal a handgun almost everywhere. Sleep tight America. The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube

for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a Second Look on Apple Podcasts starting September 17.

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