The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI - Karamo Brown on His Memoir "Karamo" and "Queer Eye"

Episode Date: January 4, 2020

"Queer Eye" star Karamo Brown discusses his book "Karamo," his experiences with domestic violence, his role as a father and his hit Netflix show. Originally aired July 1, 2019. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. Please welcome Karamo Brown. Can I just say first of all, I love how you pronounce my name.

It's so weird because in South Africa we have Carabo and then in Africa obviously we have Caramo in a chape but then like and then people here like Caramo. But then I say it the way that you actually talk about this in the book. Yes. Which by the way is truly, truly fascinating as far as someone's life story goes. Thank you. We may even start with that. You get this name, you're given this name by your parents. And for the most of your life, you grew up in the name that you had.

Why? hates of the name that you had, why? Completely, I mean, I'm growing up in predominantly white neighborhoods with immigrant parents and was going to schools where my name was not special. It was perceived different people made front of it. And as a child, you just want to fit in. You don't want to be seen as different. You just want to. And so, you know, in the comfort of my home, I loved my name. My father said it, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the name, th, th, th. And, the name, the name, th. And, th. And, the name, the name, the name, the, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the name, th. And, th. And, the name, the name, was, was, the name, the name, the name, th.. the name, th.. ta.. ta. ta. ta. the name, was name, was name, was the name, loved it. But then the many I got to school and teachers will say Carambo or Camumoo or whatever. Right. It, you know, it kills your self-esteem. And so I had to learn

and grow to love all parts of myself and my name being the first challenge. That really is for me the theme of this book. You know, the title says it all. the the the the the the, the, the, t. t. the, t. the, t. t. the, t. the, the, the, t. ttttttttttttttttttm, to, to, to, to, tha, too, to me, to. to, to, to, too, too, too, too, to, to, to, to, to, too, to, too, t. t. t. t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It's, tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthe. I, the. I'm, tr. I'm, tr. I'm, tr. I'm, te. I'm yourself as a person. That's what that's what I connected to in the book because you tell this tale of how you grew up in a world where you felt like you always on the outside. Yep. You then go to a predominantly black university and and all of a sudden you feel like you have a connection and a feeling but as a young gay man you also had a journey that you had to go on. Completely, I mean, my life was riddled with challenge after challenge at challenge because of my identities, from having immigrant parents to being a black man, to being a gay man, to having so many different issues. And it was me constantly trying to figure out how to navigate the love that I had for myself.

It's the same thing I do with the heroes on Queer Eye of helping them to dig deep and find the love in themselves and that's what I do with this book. It's about being open and transparent about though I'm here at this space, I had to work through that to get to this place where I am now. And if I can do it, anyone out of there can do it. Any of your friends can do it. It really is a book that is transparent. I didn't know what to expect when I picked it up, but you speak in depth about growing up in a home with domestic abuse. And while you yourself weren't abused, personally, you still experienced this abuse in the

household. And what really struck me is, is a part in the book where you talk about something that I could really relate to, where you talk about how you didn't realize that you were becoming like the abusive father that you were so afraid of and despised so much. Yeah. Explain what that actually means. Well, you know, my father was abusive to my mother and though he never hit me, I grew up in a household where I knew abuse was prevalent, but as I was growing up I was always taught men don't hit women. Right. But the conversation, how do you have that when the little boy is not going to engage with

women, he's going to engage with other men. And so as I got older, any time I would have anger issues or feel betrayed or hurt, I had been told my entire life, it's okay to hit another boy. That's what men do, men fight. And so now I'm in these relationships where I then would get upset and I was hitting my partners and was becoming my father in essence. And what I realize is through research is that domestic violence in the LGBT community is higher than it is in straight communities.

Yet it's never talked about because police aren't trained, and their train enough. And so people and LGBT couples are experienced domestic violence and are not getting any support or help. You actually talk about one of your relationships where you were abusive to one of your partners and the police got called in. Yeah. And they basically just dismissed it.

Completely. I sat arrogantly at the door, thinking, looking at my partner, who was hurting and saying, oh, yeah, call the police. They're not going to do anything. And just like I thought, the police came to the door and they saw two men and they said, oh, you all just work it out. You two friends work it out. They didn't even have the language

or the ability to say you are in a couple of the relationship. And you know, for forgiveness from all my partners. I've worked on my anger issues. And these are things I'm expressing there because I want people at home to see if I can really look transparently at myself and say, this is who I was, but I want to be better, I want to grow through this, then anyone else can do it. And I think that's a key message

that people need to hear and understand. It. It. It really really really really really really really really really really that. It really really really is really that that that that that that that that that is really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really that's that's that's that's thi is that message that you're delivering in the book and in your life. And I think it's only fitting that you became a father in honestly one of the most bizarre circumstances ever. Yeah. This, you, you discovered that you had a son from a girlfriend, from really a previous life that you had. Yeah, but this is a 10-year-old child that comes into your life. Yeah, the first and last girl I dated. We lost her Virginia together.

And after we were done, I was like, never doing that again. And then she moved away. It was like, you know, this is before the advent of the internet, as we knew what today. a house phone or and I'm not that old or you know an address it was like they were gone and so ten years later I was coming home from this event in this drug stupor and there was a stack of papers on my doorstep and now I was on MTV's Real World before and I thought they were doing some punked version for the real world and I thought like oh they're punking the gay guy making him think he as a kid so I th th I th. th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin thin thin thin th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin' thin' th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm their th. I'm their th. I'm their th. I'm their their their th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. th. th. th. the gay guy making him think he has a kid. So I thought Ashton Kutcher was in my house. And I went downstairs changed because I was excited to meet Ashton. And Ashton wasn't in there.

Just a bill for a child I didn't even know about. And had to go on this journey to, first of all, figure out who I was. Because I was still a trial, trying to raise this child, thr-I, thr-I, thr-I, the child, to raise, to raise, the child, to raise, to raise, the child, to raise, to raise, the child, to raise, to raise, the child, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise, the child, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise, to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise, to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. I was, to raise. I was. I was, to raise. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. to raise. the toe. toe. the toe. the toe. toe. toe. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to I had to raise this child, but in also figuring out how to navigate with his mother so that we could communicate and co-parent for our child to have the best life possible. And luckily it worked out. She and I are in great space. She's an amazing woman. I got full custody of my son.

I then adopted his younger brother, so I became a father of two. And now my boys are 12 and 18, but I got him at 10 and 7. And so, you know, it's just been quite a journey to fatherhood. It really has been quite a journey for you. Queer Eye is a breakthrough success. I mean, I remember when it started on Netflix and instantly everyone was just like, what is this? And other people like, it's back. Everyone loves it across the board. What do you think the success of queer eye owes its success too? Is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thi. thi, is, is, is thi, is, is thi, is thi, is thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, thi. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It. It, thi. It, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the board. What do you think the success of queer eye owes its, you know, what do you think it owes its success too? Is there something about how you all act authentically on the show? Isn't about the fact that you're all different? What do you think it is that connects with people?

I think it's all of those things. I think first of all, it we're very diverse in our ages and our races and our cultural backgrounds and our gender expressions to the world. Also you know I applaud myself as well because I sort of led the charge as bringing more emotion like you know what might the other four guys to do are exceptional I could never design a house I could never cut someone's hair unless you want me to give you an edge up you know I mean you look good you know try it but I just got the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. the the the th. th. the the the the. I'm the their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. I th. I th. I the. I the. the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I never cut someone's hair unless you want me to give you an edge up. I mean you look good but I'll try it. I just got queer-eyed. Exactly. No no you look good. You look good. You look good. But one of the things is that I say you can change the exterior but unless you figure out why you haven't cut

your hair in 20 years, why you haven't fixed your home in 10 years, then problem is just going to reoccur. And I think people are really latching on to the emotional attachment. You know, like one of our things is, you know, people are crying a lot. And I'm proud to say that part of the interaction I have with our heroes is bringing out those emotional moments and allowing people to see that they can grow through their issues. Well, honestly, if people don't love for listening to your new podcast that's coming out. Thank you for being on the show. Yes. Yes. Really excited, man. Season 3 of Queer Eye launches on Netflix March 15th. His memoir is available now. Paramo Brown, everybody. The Daily Show with Trevnoa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show with Week nights at 11th 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com.

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starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.