The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI - Thanksgiving in the Time of the Coronavirus

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

Nearly half of all Americans cancel Thanksgiving plans over COVID-19 concerns, the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade goes virtual, and small turkeys are in high demand as gatherings get downsized. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts, starting September 17th. This is the time of year when Americans would normally be fighting over whether to get

the canned cranberry sauce or the good canned cranberry sauce. But in Corona, the big question is whether to have Thanksgiving at all. There's no place like home for the holidays and that indulgent Thanksgiving feast with friends and family. But coast to coast, cases of the coronavirus are on the rise and travel plans are changing. In a recent survey, 47% of Americans say they're going to cancel. There is growing concern the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday could turn into a super spreader event.

New York City's mayor Bill DeBlazio just announcing that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade will go virtual this year. Some experts are calling the hundreds of thousands of college students traveling across the country for the holidays, quote, little ticking time bombs. Oh yeah, this is the perfect holiday week for Corona. Young people come home from colleges, party together indoors in their hometown and then hang out with their oldest relatives. You best believe Corona's already lining up right now like it's a Black Friday sale

on grandparents. And let's be honest, Corona would just be one more shitty thing that kids bring home from college. Because college kids only bring stuff home that nobody wants. Piles of dirty laundry, shitty taste in beer, their new boyfriend who starts every sentence with, well, according to Nietzsche. Shut up and pasta, mashed potatoes, Beckett. Honestly, I think they should just cancel the parade altogether. Why would I want to watch a virtual balloon of SpongeBob when I can just watch

the actual SpongeBob? In fact, why am I even talking to you now when I could be watching Spongebob? Squidward, you never win. But even with the pandemic, many people don't want to cancel Thanksgiving altogether. And the good news people is that you don't need to cancel Thanksgiving, as long as you take some simple precautions. If you have no choice but to have dinner indoors, be sure to open the windows. Really let that outdoor air circulate in. It'll get nice and cold, but you're also getting a lot of air exchange and it'll really create that outdoor environment indoors.

Eat at separate tables if dining inside. Of course, the safest Thanksgiving is going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be spent to be to be to be to be to be to be to be spent toe. toea. toea. toea. toeckeckeckeckeckeck. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thefficient. thefficient. theau. theaui. theaui. teau. teau.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. thea. thea. the if dining inside. Of course, the safest Thanksgiving is going to be spent virtually apart, but together, and Zoom is trying to help out with that. They're going to be lifting their 40-minute time limit on free video chats, so your Thanksgiving video calls can go on for as long as you'd like. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Zoom is allowing unlimited calls? Do they not realize how much they are screwing us over? People.

That 40-minute time limit was a get-out-of-jail free card. Yeah. You can thank Zoom this year when you're on a three-hour call with your cousin explaining his foot surgery. You see, Trevor, it's called a meta-tassal. And in the foot, there are many bones, the smaller they can break., and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're scrown they're scrooming us they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're scrue, they're scrue, they're scrue, they're scrue, they're scruge, they're scruge, the, the, the, thee, theateatrowne, theeeeeatrowne, thoo theeeeeate, theeee, they're scoomoomo, and in the foot there are many bones, the smaller, they can break a fracture and connect that to that one, it's the meniscus through the Achilles tendon, which can be pulled slightly, and then that can create a problem.

But the doctor said, the doctor said, what? We can fix it. But a lot of these suggestions are smart. Like opening the windows is a great idea. It improves ventilation and social distancing. Because you see, once the room is freezing and the food is all cold, everyone will get back in their cars and go home. In fact, I also have an idea for a safe Thanksgiving. Instead of playing your annual touch football game, keep social distance by playing paintball. Also, don't tell anyone else that you're playing paintball.

Yeah, if you're the only one with a paintball gun, you automatically win. Of course, a smaller guest list just means a smaller turkey. And weird as it seems, even that is creating a problem this year. Health officials are really urging people to pass on that big, traditional, large family gathering. And that has actually led to a weird dilemma. There's a run on small turkeys. Turkeys that are 10 to 14 pounds are in high demand right now, with consumer to reporting picked over freezer cases

with only 20 pound birds left behind. That has created a shortage of smaller birds. Since the growth time of a turkey starts in the summer, it's hard to control their size. They're going to grow at the pace they're going to grow at. And you can't say, okay guys, we're going to put you on a diet. That just doesn't work. All right, everybody. We did it. We discovered the most American problem of all time. You're worried that even food is too overweight? And yeah, that farmer is right. You cannot put a turkey on a diet. But what you can do is tell them that their high school reunion is coming up. Best believe they'll be eating salad with dressing

on the side for a month. Also, how would a turkey diet even work? Okay, guys, listen up. This is called a juice cleanse, right? For a week, you're all going to be drinking lemon juice with like cayenne pepper. And you know what? This seems more normal on Instagram. Now that I'm saying it's you in real life, it feels strange. But listen here, America. Everybody has to eat the big turkies. Please. Because if we don't eat the big turkies this year, that means they're only going to get bigger bigger bigger bigger Then by the next year we'll be wrestling the turkey over who goes in the oven.

And finally, there's one more way that Corona is making Thanksgiving more difficult than usual. If the whole family isn't gathering at Grandma's house this year, that means they can't just make Grandma do all the cooking. With more people staying home for Thanksgiving, more Americans will be cooking at home for the first time and some of them are stressed. A new survey by Campbells shows that one in five home cooks are going to be first-time Thanksgiving hosts. And two-thirds of Americans are dreading the possibility of an epic cooking fail. And with more amateur cooks hitting the kitchen this year, one firefighter says it could be a recipe for disaster. It's easy to see how they get distracted.

They walk away from a stove top, they walk away from an oven. And the next thing you know is we have a disaster. If culinary arts isn't your calling, then cooking a Thanksgiving turkey can be tricky. That's why Whole Foods has teamed up with progressive insurance to provide their first ever Thanksgiving turkey protection plan. If you have a turkey cooking fail, Whole Foods is offering a $35 gift card as insurance. All customers will need a receipt, a picture of the failed turkey and an explanation of what went wrong. So Whole Foods actually wants a picture of a failed turkey? My only question is, will wants a picture of a failed turkey?

My only question is, will they accept one of the President of the United States? But for real though, man. You could not have a better embodiment of the problems facing America than right here. On a day when people gather, during a deadly pandemic to binge eat, it's the turkey that has a solid insurance plan. This is why I play it safe and microwave my turkey. Yeah, it's quick, it's easy, and you can use all that extra time that you save

to deal with the salmonella that you contract. But it looks like Corona or not, America is going to find some way to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. But please, no matter how you do it, just try and be as safe as you can, because this pandemic is no joke. And the most important thing about Thanksgiving is making sure that you're around for the next one. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.