The Daily Show: Ears Edition - ICYMI - The Best of Desi Lydic in Quarantine

Episode Date: July 5, 2020

Desi Lydic Fox-splains the coronavirus pandemic, offers tips on how to panic better, delves into Obamagate and talks to a super-hot doctor. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Coronavirus, there are so many questions. How is it spread? How do we stop it? And most

importantly, who's to blame? Well, I've been watching Fox News for 48 hours straight, and I think I'm ready to Fox Blaine it. Okay, first off, the World Health Organization, or as I like to call it, the World Health Organization. Tag teams with the Communist Democrat Republic of China, whose president, by the way, has the same barber as George Soros. Coincidence? Yeah, if you're Chuck Schumer, maybe. But anyway, back to Dr. Fauci, Fauchy. Do you know where this guy went to medical school? I'll give you a hint.

Barisma. That's right. Hillary Clinton. That's part one. Now part three, 5G. COVID-19, more like COVID-50. This is a pandemic, not a pandemic. Washington legalizes weed and then they're the first state hit, three months before 420. Because here's my question. Jill Biden's hedge fund can raise $3 trillion from France.

And meanwhile, more people in this country die from guinea pick attacks? No, no, no. No, Hollywood radical left-wing statistics. What are you doing tonight? Watching Netflix. Who has a deal with Netflix? Who has a deal with Netflix?

Barack Obama's first wife? Tell you who it wasn't. Steaming the lamination. So what does the G and 5G stand for? Steam liminution. Three gallon jugs of expired batmill. Floridated hands fanatizer. So what does the G and 5G stand for? Gluten. What's everyone doing? Bacon bread? Democrats want to vote by Quibby?

Ha-uh. No, not in my country. Oh, I have a question. Exactly how many Cuomo's are there? That we know of. to open this economy up. Mr. Pillow was correct. Every patriotic American should call their senator and say, please, let me die. Illuminati credit cards, Mark Zuckerberg's college landlord. Oh, and the Charmin bear? The one who wears underwear, bears don't wear underwear.

Okay, well, I think that pretty much sums everything up. I think we now know who's to blame for coronavirus. By everybody. Oh, Joe Biden's a zombie. So we're about a month into self-quarantine now and while some people will have to fight the virus itself, there's another hidden enemy. Our emotions. People who have died from coronavirus just part of the anxiety. The worst of the coronavirus is yet to come. A lot of folks are really anxious about this.

Cable News is doing a great job at scaring the shit at me. So I decided to talk with an expert and emotions, Dr. Steve Taylor. He's a professor of psychiatry, and he's also the author of the book, the psychology of pandemics. Dr. Taylor, thanks, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is th. thi, is th. th. th, is th, is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, is thi, is thi. thi, is thi, is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thi. tha. tha. tha. thanks for talking to us. How are you doing? I'm doing okay. How about you? Hanging in there. So, obviously, a lot of people are very concerned about their physical health during this time and trying to stay healthy and not get sick.

How important is maintaining good mental health during this time? It's hugely important because a lot of the stresses about COVID-19 don't have to do so much about your physical health. They have to do with the impact of not being able to go out to work, the impact of being self-isolated. So managing those stresses is hugely important. How afraid should we be? Like on a scale of one to ten jars of urine that I'm collecting just in case they

cut off the water? That depends on your individual situation. Some people have realistic concerns particularly frail, medically frail seniors, but we don't need to freak out. So you'd say maybe scale back to four jars of urine? How big a jar are we talking about them? You know, like mason size? Oh no probably just one jar of that. For the whole family? Oh no, probably just one jar up that. For the whole family. No, each, each. You aren't drinking each other's urine, are you? That's gross. All right, you don't have to get judging talk. What are some tricks for handling stress and anxiety during this outbreak? You know, there's no one size fit,

so all. Everyone's different and it's important to use whatever coping strategies that you've used before. Setting a structure for yourself, you've got a routine for your children, things like that. Whatever stress management method work for you, it could be physical exercise or yoga, or some people have been using this as an opportunity to try things that never tried before, like meditation.

So there are all kinds of things to try. So for meditation, how many Benadryl should I be slipping into my child's breakfast so I can accomplish this? I would wait till he goes down for a nap. That's probably better. You're saying, don't give him Benadryl. Yeah. He'll be fine. Good job. He's fine.

How well do you think Americans are equipped psychologically to deal with this kind of pandemic? Well, the good news is people tend to be really resilient to stress. Most people are, but they are going to look to their leaders for advice and leaders need to be really careful about the sort of messages they send out. People's anxieties about infection depends on whether they see their leaders as responsible and trustworthy and able to do the job. Sorry you said you said our leaders it comes down to our leadership. In part. Oh, the fuck.

We are f-f- God damn it. Thank you, doctor. I was pretty panicked when we started this call, and now I'm even more panicked. So thank you for your expertise. Welcome. Stay healthy. You too. So thank you for your expertise. Welcome. Stay healthy.

You too. So there you have it. As long as we practice good stress management and have responsible leadership, Americans are gonna be emotionally okay. What a lot of people don't know, and this is really embarrassing, is that the Daily Show is actually related to Fox News. Yeah, what we found out is that Janine Piro is actually Desilightix's aunt twice removed through her grandfather on her mother's sister's side.

And as any good niece would do, she checked in with Aunt Janine recently to see how she's handling quarantine, and I don't think she's doing great. Hey Anjani! Just want to check in on you, see how you're doing. Thanks so much for being with us tonight. Yeah, yeah, of course. How are you holding up with all this COVID stuff? COVID is being used as a cover to fund liberal progressive programs. Okay, you know what, Anjani? Can we just please not get into all the conspiracy stuff right now?

Just talk about anything else? How about destroying Supreme Court Justice nominee with rules that wouldn't get past a fifth grade government? I'd rather not. Just no politics at all. The left is just not in tune with America. Hey, come on, I mean it. It's a pretty dress. Look, it's like your shoulders are gift wrapped. Like, I don't know, what shows are you watching?

We've been catching up on Jersey Shore. Have you seen it? Jim's hair salons and tattoo parlors. Close, Jim Tan Laundry, GTL. Yeah, we've been binging it. I mean, it's just, it's actually kind of hard to stop watching. Why let them have that power over us? I don't know, fun, escapism?

That is absolutely stunning. It is just stunning to me. Okay, well, just wanted to make sure everyone was safe and healthy. The rumors are that Kim Jong-un of North Korea is gravely ill. Have you heard anything? No, I don't have any intel in the North Korean government. You have groceries and everything you need? We're mostly just doing delivery, like dim sum, that kind of thing. The Chinese Communist government brought us to our knees. I can't, I can't.

With this virus allegedly let out of their lab? Okay. Okay, that's... You know what, I can't. Okay. theynigh. Impahment. If you can't just have a normal conversation, I'm just going to have to go. Impeachment! Nope, bye. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.

This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like, none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to change. Like, none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.

ObamaGate. It's the big new scandal on the right. But what actually is the scandal? Well, I've been binge watching Fox News for 48 hours straight, and I'm ready to Fox Blaine Obama-Gate. Okay, it starts with President Barack Hussein Baskin-Robbins Obama. He assembles the ultra-liber vegan deep state. Comey, Clapper, AOC, Rodman, Tiffin.

You better believe the geek squad is involved. Anyway, they all start spying on Donald Trump's cell phone. Who's a cell phone carrier? T-Mobile. What is the T stand for? Tumberg? As in Greta. Take your little sailboat back to Greenland, Greta. voter fraud in this country ever again. Here's a question, why are we even targeting Flynn?

Because he did a little work in Turkey? Guess what? Millions of Americans every year do a little work in Turkey. It's called Thanksgiving. But there are still some mysteries that we deserve answers to. This was Barack Obama's White House. What was Joe Biden doing there? How is it possible that the former president and the former vice president were working together. As illegal.

Wiretaps, FISA court, MLB, Home Run Derby. You want a real quid pro quo? Check out Obama's 2014 Christmas card. Art Basel. It's past time for not suspicious to you? Who is Blow from Progressive? Megaman X? What about Mega Man Q? The storm is coming. The storm is coming? I am the storm. Why is it cold earth if it's mostly water? Hope you can read Arabic, pal. If you still don't get it, listen to the president the What crime exactly are you accusing President Obama of committing and do you believe the Justice

Department should prosecute him? Uh, Obamagate. Busted! It's obvious. You already know, Obama Gate is Obamagate. So there you have it. That's Obamagate explained. Bye.

Air Force One is a hologram. We all know that the health care system is under an immense amount of pressure right now. So I'm about to talk to one of the many New York City doctors who's fighting this crisis to find out what we at home can do to help. Oh, hey, Dr. Mike. Oh, hey, Dr. Mike. to thiii. How goes it? Dr. Mike here, to you you you you you you you you you are th. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome. Wea. We are to. We are to. We are it? Dr. Mike, you're ready to answer some questions. Wow. You look like a TV doctor or something, but you're a real doctor. The legitimate board-certified family medicine physician. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, he's not just an everyday doctor. Dr. Mike was also the sexiest doctor alive,

according to People Magazine, but I'm a professional, so that won't be an issue. Sorry, I just, I've been quarantined for many, many days. How does it feel to be a doctor right now? Well, it's scary times because we're facing equipment shortages and we want to take care of ourselves and our patients, but we also need to understand that we're taking a huge risk being on the front lines. So just to be clear, we need to adhere to social distancing,

even if we are young and attractive, is that right? Yes, that's really how it should stay, because you want to be socially distancing yourself from others in order to flatten the curve to decrease the demand that's being put on hospitals nowadays. If you have to leave your house and you have to go on some sort of run for food or medicine, how close is too close? Ideally, you'd want to keep six feet away from anyone that, that's, th, because, because, because, because, because, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you that that that that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi is thi is that is that is that is that is that is thate is they are they they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are thate is thate is thate is thate is thate is th how close is too close?

Ideally you'd want to keep six feet away from anyone that you're not familiar with. Would this be too close? In my medical, professional medical opinion, I would say that's too close. So six feet and the washing your hands. Is this too close? That would be too close. I mean, someone that you live at home with, totally different story. I'm not quarantined with anybody at home. It's really just me. Nice.

No, like, like what was it? There's a child? Sorry, it's my super. He's doing a quick repair on the refrigerator. Sounds young for a super. He's a grown man, but he's very small. Very small, because we have a mini fridge. That's not an adult.

Yeah. You know, Dr. Mike, we're all pretty freaked out about this. How bad do you think it's going to get? Well, my slogan here is alert, not anxious. Without getting emotional about it, you're able to make better decisions. I'm glad you brought that up. I would love to talk about my feelings for a little bit with you. And I'd love to hear about your feelings. Right now I'm feeling alone. I love to have someone to have someone to have someone someone someone to have someone someone someone to have someone someone to have someone someone someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have someone to have to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have someone to sit next to and crack open a bottle of wine. What are you feeling, Doc?

I do want to warn you that drinking too much alcohol actually impairs certain cells of your immune system from fighting off viruses and bacteria. So if you're going to be having a glass of wine, make sure it's just that, a glass of wine a night. What about one glass of each type of wine? Like you can do one red, one white, one rosé, little champagne. I think you're just adding more alcohol and that could be even described as binge drinking. No. Agree to disagree. But either way, thank you, Dr. Mike for taken the time to speak with to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, too, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, thoomo, and, tho, tho, ttooomorrow.a, ttooomorrow, ttooomorrow, ttooomorrow, ttooomorrow, today.a, today. today. tthe time to speak with us. And thank you to all the health care workers out there, putting yourselves on the front lines.

Of course, it's my job. You have to go poo? I got it. Sorry, my super has to go poo. So I gotta go. I gotta go. Thank you, Dr. Mike. Yeah. Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. and videos at the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube

for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at.

That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look. Starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.