The Daily Show: Ears Edition - If You Don't Know, Now You Know - Tech Roundup

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

Online image filters take a destructive toll on teens' self-esteem, Bill Gates wants to reinvent the toilet, ransomware cyberattacks pose a growing threat to the U.S., and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. What is one of the biggest concerns people have about modern technology?

Privacy, right? Because our phones know everything about us. What music we listen to? How much sleep we get? What our face looks like when we're pooping? But now, Apple is going to give you a little more control over how widely that information is shared. You know how it goes. You search for something online, then see an ad on Facebook or Instagram for that exact item. Well, Apple is making it harder for apps to track your online activity. When you're using apps on your iPhone, you may start to see this. Apple users must now give permission for apps to track your online activity data before you could only opt out.

It's about time. Jenny Gephardt is with the privacy nonprofit, the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Switching from opt out to opt in is huge. That is what's going to really make a lot more users opt out of this tracking feature that wasn't built for users, it was built for advertisers. That's right, people. With the new iOS update, you have to opt in to be to to to to to to to have to have to have their.. to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the their. the the privacy their. their. their, their, their, their, their, the privacy. the privacy. the privacy. the privacy. the privacy. the privacy. the privacy, the privacy. the privacy. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the?eck. theck. theck. theck. theck. the the theck. the the the the the the the the the the the the iOS update, you have to opt in to being tracked online instead of having to opt out. And I know it might seem like a small change, but this is a huge deal because people are lazy as shit. Like, think about it. If Apple said that they were going to put all your nudes online unless you opt it out,

you'd probably be like, what? No ways! Where's that opt-out option? Ah, settings, general. Where? Where? You know what? I'm proud of my third nipple. Let's just do this. I don't care anymore.

I've got things to do. And people don't understand how much information Facebook. thi to your friends, oh I was talking about something and then it popped up. Is my phone listening to me? No, it's the apps. Like if you're in Atlanta and you check the weather in Vermont, it won't wait for you to search for a winter coat before it starts showing you ads for one. And if you've been ordering pizza every night on GrubHub, well then the ads will show you a cout, then new privacy feature is good news for iPhone users, but it turns out it's very bad news for one of Apple's biggest rivals, Facebook. In fact, it's so bad for them

that they've started throwing up pop-ups, begging everyone to let them keep tracking us and warning us, that if we don't, Facebook might stop being free of charge. And I'm not gonna to lie people. That seems like an empty threat to me. Because who would pay to be on Facebook with the type of people willing to pay to be on Facebook? I mean, that's like if a crack house had a cover charge.

I actually wouldn't mind if Facebook started charging people, because I think if they did, maybe people would actually think for a second before they posted. The government puts fluoride in the water to brainwash us post. Two dollars? I'll keep it to myself. Now, the reason Facebook needs to track its users is so that it can charge big bucks to advertisers who want to target very specific audiences. But Mark Zuckerberg knows that people don't care if he can't afford to give his Hovercroft the Lamborghini for its birthday. So instead, he's asking you to think

about the poor companies that will suffer if he can't track you. Facebook said Apple's move will harm their small business advertisers. It's gonna kill us. It's going to kill us. But from Monique Wilson DeBriano, who was featured in a Facebook campaign and owns Charleston Gourmet Burger, the change has already affected sales and she's had to cut costs. It's not about, you know, small businesses, you know, wanting to take away anyone's privacy. All we want to do is really to service our customers better. So if someone loves hamburgers and they're looking for something that is just awesome, you know, to make your hamburgers taste better, I would like to show my ad to you.

And this update takes that away from small businesses like mine. Okay, now this is interesting. I mean, I don't like getting tracked, but it is true that it does help some small businesses target their ads, you know? And the truth is in life, bad things can't have good side effects. You know, it's like how serial killers are bad.

We all agree that they're bad. But you do get a lot of really interesting podcast out of them. Yeah? No. So I can see what Facebook is trying thiacc, thic, thiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, tho, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, like, that, to that, to that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thrying to argue here. They're saying, do you really want to hurt small businesses before Amazon has a chance to bankrupt them? And honestly, I wouldn't mind targeted ads that much, but the thing is, it's how. It is how Facebook tracks all of us that I don't like. Like, it will be one thing if Facebook asked me. Hey Trevor, do you like hamburgers? Ah, we're gonna show you stuff about food.

But what Facebook actually does is basically just send some guy named Gary to just stalk my entire life. Hey, Trevor, I heard you like hamburgers. What? How did you know that? He, he, he, he, I read an email you said to your girlfriend. So maybe you're still not swayed by the effect of this change on small businesses. And that's why Facebook is also warning of the bleak future that awaits all of us if they can't track our every movement anymore.

Facebook's pushing back. It relies on that data to target consumers with relevant ads. So if people do opt out, here's what Facebook says could happen. Say a young man is looking for a new pair of sneakers on his phone. Facebook claims that with Apple's new rules, it won't be able to use his search history and information about what other apps he uses to show him ads for things he wants to buy. So on Facebook or Instagram, he could end up seeing ads for women's clothing or furniture.

Really? This is a real argument? Come on, man, get the fuck out of here, guys. We've lived our entire lives watching untargeted ads, right? TV ads, newspaper ads, billboards. None of those were targeted, and we were fine. Now, all of a sudden, they're making it seem like we can't live without them. Like, we're going to be like, oh no, oh no, I'll have to watch untargeted ads, but how will I know if a product isn't for me?

What if I buy tampons because I didn't know that I don't have a period? What if I buy dog food? But I don't have a dog? Am I a dog? I don't know! We can handle untargeted ads. In fact, sometimes, untargeted ads introduce you to things that you never knew you needed. Yeah, like a shower seat. I didn't think about that before I came to America. And then now that I'm here, I realize, just because I'm not 80, doesn't mean I can't get clean and comfortable.

And you know, on top of all that, Facebook makes it seem seem that it seem like all they use that data for is to sell us the products that we want. But don't forget that the reason you often only see posts that make you mad as hell is because of all the time Facebook is tracking you and they use that targeting to piss you off. It's not a coincidence that Facebook is always telling you that Joe Biden is going to make the Bible Spanish only or that Trump stole all the mailboxes to give to Kim Jong-un. It's because they know how to keep you engaged for as long as possible and they know this by tracking you. And again, I'm not pro Apple here, right? But Apple didn't build their entire business model on stalking you. Facebook did. And if moving society away from tracking people

means that Gary has to find a new job, then you know what? So be it. But then, Trev, who will recommend creams for your tonair fungash? Get the fuck out of here, Gary. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, a lot of people are doing worse than ever. Because it turns turns tu tu tu tu tu the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th thu thu, to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to toe, thi, to be toe. toe. toe. toe. too- too-up. too-up. too-up. too-up. too-up. too-up. too, too, too, too, too, to. too. to. to. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. too. the. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. toe. toe. too. to the pandemic, a lot of people are doing worse than ever, because it turns out that the technology keeping us connected is also making us feel like shit. With the stress of the pandemic, body image issues have been on the rise. 43% of women, 26% of men said COVID-19 negatively affected how attractive they felt.

The countless hours spent on Zoom or video calls is causing more and more Americans to be insecure about their appearance. Video conferencing presents a constant, unedited, unfiltered look at ourselves that can be unsettling. And those front-facing cameras we're all using, aren't doing us any favors.

Things like the nose could appear larger and wider, and the eyes could appear smaller. Not only as a person confronting their own reflection with much greater intensity and frequency than they ever had before, but they were staring at a distorted reflection. This is all part of an alarming new trend, coined, zoom dysmorphia. Yes, zoom dysmorphia. It's when you realize that it's not just everyone else who looks terrible on Zoom. And that's really not cool. You know, Zoom shouldn't make

you feel bad about your looks. It should make you feel bad about your dirty-ass living room. But you have to remember people, this is a new phenomenon that we're dealing with. Humans didn't evolve to see their own faces all the time. That's not normal. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. H. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. theeeeeee. the. the. the. all the time. That's not normal. I mean, except for twins, I guess. They don't count, they're freaks. It's just like another one of you? What? Like, think about it, for most of human history, if you wanted to know what you looked like, you had to get your friend to smash up some blueberry

and rub it on a cave wall. You look like thi. th like tho. tho. tho. thus thus thus thus like thus. thus like thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. tho. tho. thoom. tho. that. tho. tho. thoom. tho. tho-I. tho. tho. tho. tho. It's tho. It's th.. It. It's... It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. than. than. to. the. to. to to the. to to thean. th th th thean th thean th theanan thoooooooo spear like that? Now, the good news is that it's likely we'll all be using zoom a lot less in the near future. But unfortunately, there's another technology that also makes us feel bad about ourselves, and it doesn't look like it's going away any time soon. I'm talking about photo filters. Yes, they've helped mankind realize its dream of puking rainbows, but some of the most popular filters just help you look more attractive, which may sound harmless, but it could be anything but.

Cutting-edge apps and social media filters are allowing ordinary people to enhance their online photos to impossible perfection. In some cases, it's sparking a concerning phenomena. With apps like FaceTune, you have the power to completely transform yourself. Bigger eyes, skinnier nose, and jawline. Smaller butt or flatter belly, whiter teeth, smoother skin, you can do it right on your phone. When I take a selfie, I always use filters.

I wish I could look like my filtered self in real life. This obsession with personal appearance that selfie culture encourages may have darker implications for mental health. A study in the journal of the American Medical Association says filtered pictures can take a toll on self-esteem, body image, and even lead to body dysmorphic disorder. I do feel like we're losing touch with what reality looks like. We're already getting there to the point where we're expecting people to look as unhuman as possible. Yeah, photo editing filters set unrealistic expectations for beauty. The same way Fruit Ninja sets up unrealistic expectations of how easy it is to slice floating

fruit. Yeah! And once you have this filtered version of yourself in your head, you become dissatisfied with what you really look like. So in essence, we're basically catfishing ourselves. But if these editing apps can turn adults into quivering blobs of insecurity, just imagine what they're doing to kids. Psychologists warn these photo filters can be particularly troubling for teens and young people

who are still developing their sense of self. 80% of girls in one survey say they compare the way they look to other people on social media. On Instagram like I follow people like Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner and they all have this like time measure like body image that everyone is expecting from this generation. Young girls on social media have a negative body perception, with one in seven girls reporting being unhappy with the way they look at the end of elementary school, and that number almost doubling to nearly one in three by age 14. 80% of young girls are using photo retouching apps to change the way they look before posting pictures.

And those with high scores for manipulating their photos were associated with high scores for body-related and eating concerns. Any of you ever question your body because of what you see on social media? Shame, man. This is a vicious cycle for teenagers. Social media makes them unhappy with how they look, so then they use filters, which perpetuate the unrealistic expectations for themselves and others, plus they're teenagers,

so they're doing all of this while they're driving, which puts everyone at risk. And all the insecurity this creates is harmful for teenagers because I know it's hard to tune all of this out, but teens shouldn't be obsessing over this stuff. Like I the the the teenagers down and say, hey, don't worry about how you look. The planet's going to die out before you're 30. It doesn't matter. Now it's bad enough when people wish they had the perfect Instagram look in real life. What's worse is when they actually try to make it happen. The more people look at doctored-up

images, the more likely they are to actually start seeking out cosmetic procedures at younger ages. These cosmetic procedures are becoming so popular with teens, plastic surgeons have coined a new syndrome for it. Snapchat dysmorphia. And the number of kids getting niptocks may astound you. In 2017, nearly 230,000 teens had cosmetic procedures. Kids as young as 13 are getting them. Doctors seeing an influx of people of all ages turning to plastic surgery to look more like their filter. 62% of plastic surgeons reported their patients wanted to go under the knife

because of dissatisfaction with their social media profile. 57% said their patients wanted to look better in selfies. Absolutely. It's becoming more and more common where people will show me images on their Instagram or even something that flows out on Facebook and go, this is really high I want to look. Just last week I had a patient come in and asked me for more of an anime eye and she couldn't figure out why it's not possible. Okay, man, this is really disturbing. Thirteen-year-olds in particular should not be getting th. th. th. th, thu-tha-tha-tha-tha-in th-in, thu, thu-a-a-in, thu-in, thi-a-mu-mu-mu-a-mu-mu-mene the, the, the, the, thi-me, thi, thi-mahe, thi, thi, thi, thi-in thi-m, thi, thi-m, thi-m, thi-m, thi-m, thi thi thi-m. th, will will will will th, will th, will thi-m. thi-m. thi-m. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-w. thi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-wjjaheeeeeeee, th is really disturbing. Thirteen-year-olds in particular should not be getting plastic surgery. I mean, when you're 13, your physical appearance is already naturally changing. That's what our faces are doing. It's like long-term plastic surgery.

I mean, this is what I looked like when I was 13. You've got to let that shit play out. Honestly, though, I don't blame the teenagers. I blame the parents and the plastic surgeons. I mean, how are you going to let them do this to themselves? They can't even buy cigarettes, but you're going to let them buy a new face? Clearly, this is getting out of hand, which is why there's now a movement, not just against filters, but all the ways that people have been distorting reality on social media. Many influencers have started speaking up on this issue, admitting that they've presented altered images in the past and are opening up the conversation.

Some are even posting raw, totally unedited photos of themselves and breaking down how people on your Instagram feet may be manipulating their angles and lighting to get that quote-unquote perfect selfie. There are many celebrities exposing the dangers of digital distortion. They are posting images of themselves unedited, unfiltered, online. And this is a great example to young girls. Popstar Lizzo made a big flash when she posted a selfie in the nude and unretouched. There's no shame anymore and I just kind of post myself. It's like you take me as I am.

You're gonna have to love me. British MP Luke Evans has proposed the digitally altered body image bill, which would require advertisers and publishers to display a logo whenever a person's face or body has been digitally enhanced. Okay, first of all, I love the idea of putting disclaimers on photos of people who have been digitally altered. I love it. And honestly, I don't think we should stop there.

We need to do this with everything that's been digitally out like food ads. Those are the worst. Every fast food burger looks great on TV. But then when I order it, it looks like. You know, personally, I'm waiting for SpongeBob to join this movement. I mean, no way that guy is that square naturally. Have you seen that? It's like it's not even, what I mean?

He's not real. Then how would you have a TV show? Now, I'm not naive enough to think But what I do hope is that we can better educate our kids and ourselves that our own natural bodies are beautiful. I mean, except for that flap of old people's skin we have on our elbows. That shit is gross. I don't care who you are. It looks like a mid-arm ball sack.

But everything else is beautiful. Bill Gates, he's rich, he's brilliant, and apparently he's out of his mind. This is a container of human feces. Why is one of the richest men in the world carrying a jar of his own shit? I went to Seattle to find out what's wrong with Bill Gates. Mr. Gates, it's a huge honor to meet you. Just a quick question. What the f-fix is wrong with you?

I mean, are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. Love what I'm doing. Okay, so why are you carrying around your own poop in a jar? Well, I did have a beaker of human feces when I was explaining why we need a reinvented toilet. You don't need to reinvent a toilet. We shit in it, then we push a button, then the shit disappears. It's perfect. Well, toilets are something we take for granted, but billions of people don't have them. Even in these growing

cities and poor countries, they can't afford to build sewers and that causes diseases and so we have to come up with a very different way of taking care of that waste. And because so much of the world lacks a sanitary place to poo, Bill launched the Reinvent the Toilet Challenge. It funds scientists to redesign to toilets that don't need a sewer system. We put 700 million into this to show that it can be done. Wait, sorry hang on you put several hundred million dollars into toilets. Giving it away, you bet. Oh my God, is Bill Gates literally flushing his fortune down the toilet?

To find out, I flew all the way to University of South Florida, where Professor Daniel Ye and his team are using Gates funding to make some sort of magic poop box. So what we have here essentially is a miniature version of the wastewater treatment plant. And we can put this anywhere in the world. In the bioreactor we have microorganisms, they eat the poop and turn into clean water. Okay, why do the microbes eat the poop? The microbes eat the poop because that's what they do. Did you ask them if they want to do that? Well...

Yeah, why don't you give him a muffin or something? Maybe they like a muffin. Okay, I'll make a note of that, but when you show them the poop, they love it. Despite his crazy talk, there's just something about this guy. I don't know what it is, but I trust him. So I decided to give his machine a try. So normally we will have a block of toilets, right, and then the waste one of the toilets would come here.

I'll go into the machine and then using solar power, we can turn the poopie water into clean water. So you stand by this? Yeah. Or I'll prove it. Okay. Did it work? Did it work? Did it not work and you end up drinking your own shit? Well, it's worked so well that we're actually working with NASA.

Astronauts have to poop, and we can turn that poop into clean water and nutrients and even energy. Wait, do you say energy? Yeah. The microbes in the bioreactor make methane. That's the same stuff that's in natural gas. You can burn it. Bill Gates, you sneaky bastard. You just found a filthy little back door into the most profitable industry in the world.

Energy. Industry in the world energy You didn't say anything about energy. Yeah, it's one way to make it cheap To process the sewage is to sell these outputs You should open with that next time don't open with the saving the world kids and disease They open with your what making toilets that can convert shit in the energy. We need to make these toilets as expensive as possible because based on my research? Everyone po poops. I mean, everybody. Well, unless we make them super cheap, they're not going to get out to the poorest who need them the most.

Look, I know you've made your money. Some of us here are still trying to win this game. Well, if you have an idea, let us know. I've got nothing but ideas for this. OK. So this is an iPad. Great device. I love using it. Hey, hey. So what's the worst seat on the plane next to the toilet? But what if every seat was a toilet? Poop powered planes. To keep the plane in motion, we have to keep shitting. High pressure, I know, but it gives the airlines incentive to feed us. I'm not sure I know, but it gives the airlines incentive to feed us. I'm not sure the numbers work.

How about this? It's a toilet that you shit in, and it powers a cannon that shoots the shit out to my neighbor's house. Why are you laughing? That's not legal. Listen, man, I'm up here just trying to come up with ideas here to save the world. What are you're doing the idea. to's what I'm doing. No, that's what I'm doing. I'm here giving you ideas. All you're doing is shitting on that. Well, I don't mean those ideas are ready yet, but we do have a lot of ideas that are in the field, being tested in Durbin. It's trying to cover the 30% of their residents that don't have great sewage processing. We are going to completely change the future. Everybody's going to have a great toilet.

Well, here's to everyone having a great toilet. Cheers. Not bad. Now guess where that came from? Now guess where that came from? You just drank my shit. How does it taste? That's a very successful process there. It tasted like normal water.

Good job. Thank you, Bill. There's more where that came from. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.

Zip Recruiter' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter. the smartest way to hire. the smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look. S S. 60 minutes a second look starting September 17th wherever you get your podcasts Ransomware. It sounds like a fashion line for casual yet elegant kidnappers, but it's actually a big problem that's only getting worse. Ransomware is a cyber attack in which hackers threaten to shut down networks or publish private information unless paid a ransom. The Department of Homeland Security estimates a 300 percent increase in such attacks in

the past year alone, with a cost of more than $350 million in ransoms. Ransomware encrypts a computer network's data to hold it hostage and then we'll only give the digital decryption key to unlock it for a price. The average payment climbed from a few thousand dollars in 2018 to more than 230,000 dollars. Desperate to recover their data some businesses have paid as much as 935,000 in ransom. They demand a ransom, usually in Bitcoin a largely untraceable digital currency. Ransomeware has become such a frequent occurrence. 40% of companies in the UK with over 250 employees

are now stockpiling Bitcoin in the event of an attack. Oh man, this is terrible. These hackers aren't just forcing people to pay money. They're forcing them to learn about Bitcoin. Well, that's the real crime. But at the same time, it makes sense. You know, if your company gets hacked, then you're prepared. And if you don't get hacked, you can always give Bitcoin to your employees as Christmas gifts. Happy holidays, everyone. Go buy a hitman off the dark web. Yeah. But yes, much like match a flavoring, ransomware attacks went from something you've never really heard of to being basically everywhere,

which makes sense, because as the world gets more online, there are more and more targets to choose from. And it's not helping that it's also really cheap and easy to pull these scams off. Ransomware incident usually starts innocently enough. Maybe an interesting special promotion offer or an email disguised as coming from your boss, but once you click on the link or download the file, it can kick off a debilitating attack. The barriers to entry to create ransomware are really low. Hackers advertise Do-it-yourself ransomware kits on the dark web. It's an incredibly detailed guide that enables you to customize every aspect of the ransomware

without ever really having to write any code yourself. Today, almost anyone can get their hands on ransomware technology, ransomware, can be purchased on the deep web for as little as $39. Okay, whoa, whoa, that's crazy to me. You can buy ransomware for just $39? It's like nothing. I mean, to be fair, though, that's probably the version that has ads, right? Like you can shut down America's energy infrastructure, but every 10 minutes you have to watch that stupid Limu-Imo commercial.

The hell is that? I'm not going to buy insurance from an Imo. I'm going to buy it from a gecko. Sophisticated like that. And by the way way way way way way way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way tho the way tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the way, am I the only one who feels like it kind of ruins the drama of a ransomware attack when you find out that all these guys are doing is basically just tricking someone inside the company into giving them access? Because like, when you think of hacking, what do you think of?

You think of the computer equivalent of Tom Cruise breaking into a building with diamond cutters and coming down from the ceiling on wires and dodging the lasers, the lasers, the lasers, the lasers, the the the the the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, and the, tho, and tho, and the, and the, and thoome, and thoome, and, and, and, and, and, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th............ Soe, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thea, theauuiiiiauiaugh, thea, thea, thea, theaugh, thin, thin, thea, the ceiling on wires and dodging the lasers, you know? When in reality it's more like Tom Cruise just yelling at a security guard, hey I'm here to fix the toilet! And then the guard just waves him in. And the reason this works so well is because people will click on anything. I mean have you seen the links at the bottom of news articles? You'll never believe what the house from Malcolm in the middle looks like today. I mean, I've never even seen that show, but I've read that article eight times. And one of the most messed up things about these crimes is who tends to be the victims. It's not usually rich corporations because they can afford the latest cyber security

and the best IT guys. You know, talking about the guy with th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the, thus, the the the thoes, the, the, theateateateateateateate, the, the, the, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's the the their, their, their, their, their, their, thr-a, thr-s..eanan.eateatea.a.a'a'a'er.a'a'er.a'a'er.e. And, tho. And, tho. And, the. And, th. You know, talking about the guy with the shortest, short-sleeve button downs, you know, the ones that barely make it past the shoulders. So because these companies are harder to strike, instead, the hackers squeeze ransom out of the places that can already least afford it. For years, ransomware attacks have targeted retailers, hospitals, police departments, utilities, state and local governments. Their data held hostage until they pay up. Cash-strap municipalities are uniquely vulnerable

to this kind of ransomware attack because they're using older systems. They don't keep them updated, and they don't have the resources to be able to respond. Today, 26% of cities and counties say they fend off an attack on their networks every hour. Cyber crooks no governments and hospitals are likely to pay because they can't afford not to. There was nothing that we could do to unlock those files.

The best option for us, even though it was the last and worst option for us, was to pay the ransom. Shame, man. I can't believe hackers are stooping so low that they're demanding ransom from police departments. It's disgusting. They need that money for their brutality settlements, you monsters. And of course our hospital has no other choice but to pay. I mean, if hackers shut down your operating room in the middle of a surgery, what

are you going to do? Send the patient home with only one of their butt implants put in? No, the cheeks would be uneven. So, hackers are using ransomware to cripple hospitals, police departments, utility companies, and local governments. And as a society, it's going to be chaos if all of those things crash. I mean, except for the hospitals. I don't need those. When it's my time, it's my time, and I'm ready, B. Unless it's my appendix, then I need a hospital. But I mean for like major shit, you know what I mean? So because it's so major, you'd think that the federal government would step in and make sure that this doesn't happen. The problem is, there's actually not much the federal government can do. This chaos left in the wake of colonial pipeline's ransomware attack has heightened concerns about America's cyber security. The energy grid and water supply have almost no federally mandated cybersecurity protections.

The federal government depends on private companies improving their cyber hygiene to avoid ransomware attacks. 85% of American critical infrastructure is owned and operated by the private sector. The government has very little visibility on whether these private corporations have good cybersecurity or bad cyber security. One of the issues is with private companies, they are not required to disclose cyber attacks. That really hinders the ability for law enforcement and the government to make an informed decision and develop the best policy options that they have to try and counter this attack.

No country is more connected technologically than the US, and that makes you more vulnerable to this kind of stuff. I mean, really the only solution is turn the switch off, right? I mean, disconnect yourself from the internet. Yeah, disconnecting from the internet doesn't sound so hard. I mean, all you have to do is subscribe to Spectrum. No, but for real, though? I get that it's difficult for the government to to to to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate to regulate, to regulate, to regulate, to regulate, to the government, to the government, to the government, to to to to, the government, to, to, to, the government, the government, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their, their. their, their, their, their, their. their. their, their. their. their. their, their. their, their. their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.shaugh, throom.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. together, tho. the the thii. the the to regulate the internal security of private companies, but the solution to ransomware cannot be to put the entire country into airplane mode. I mean, no one even does that on airplanes.

Unfortunately, as of right now, there's not another solution that seems workable. So until there is, Americans might need to stop panic buying gasoline and start panic buying Bitcoin. And if you don't know, now you know. So what exactly is the big deal about 5G? Because you might think it's just 4G, but a little bit faster, but it's actually a lot faster. So fast in fact that it could change the world. The new world of 5G technology promises to transform our lives, connecting millions of

devices and enabling everything from driverless cars to smart homes. Up to 20 times faster than the 4G most of us use now, 5G's lightning fast technology will accelerate and interconnect everything. To download a two-hour film on 3G would take about 26 hours. On 4G you'd be waiting 6 minutes, and on 5G you'll be ready to watch your film in just over 3 and 1⁄2 seconds. Damn, you could download an entire movie in 3 seconds. That's going to be fast.

I mean, we'll still spend 45 minutes trying to decide which movie to download. But once we've decided, we'll need to go to bed because we're tired. But tomorrow, three seconds, my friends. And 5G isn't just about download speeds. It's a game changer for everything. Like, with 5G, you can have cities where everything communicates. Like, doctors can perform surgeries from the other side of the world. Can you imagine a world where your videos never buffer, right?

Your calls never drop. That would be amazing. Except, I guess now you could never fake a call dropping with 5G. Yeah, because that excuse is gone. You'd be like, oh, I'm losing. I'm looking, you're breaking up." And be like, Mother F-Boh, you're not breaking up, we got 5G! Be like, yeah, yeah, you're right, carry on, Grandma. Yes, my grandma is Samuel L. Jackson.

So, look, there's no denying. The technology is great. But, why do China and the US care so much about who makes it? Well, it's the same reason they care about anything. The Benjamin's, baby. When the US won the 4G race earlier this decade, it provided a nearly $100 billion boost to gross domestic product. And the stakes of the 5G race are even higher. If the US wins, it would create an estimated 3 million jobs

and add approximately $500 billion to GDP. That's right. If America wins the 5G race, that could bring millions of jobs and $500 billion to the country's GDP. $500 billion. You know how hard it is to get $500 billion? Like, you'd have to marry and divorce Jeff times. And I mean, after the fourth time, he'd probably catch on. He'd be like, I think you don't love me. What, me, Jeff?

And the fight about 5G isn't just about money and downloading Avengers like that. No, it's also about power. Because if you control 5G, you have access to everything people are doing online, which is everything. And right now, the best 5G technology is made by a Chinese company called Huawei. And because the Chinese company is Chinese, many governments don't trust how secure it's going to be. Huawei may be best known to most people for making phones, but it's also a leading player in building the infrastructure for all our communications.

Critics fear that allowing it to build 5G could enable the Chinese state to spy on or even switch off the flow of data we will all depend on. Imagine that. If Huawei becomes the leading 5G provider in the world, then China can spy on everyone, which is terrible because that's what America wants to do. Yeah, and I know you're judging. Well if America wants to do it, then how do they's. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi that's thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi.i.i.i.i.i.i.c.i.c.c.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.a. their, their, because that's what America wants to do. Yeah, and I know you're judging, well if America wants to do it, then how do they judge it's not, that's not the point, all right? You want to do it first. It's like when you cut someone off in traffic and then someone else cuts in front of you, you're like, hey, asshole, that was my move. But those are the stakes, job stakes stakes stakes stakes stakes stakes stakes, job sakes the stakes, job sakes the stakes, job. Jobs, job. Jobs, job. Jobs, job. the stakes, job. the stakes, job. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. the stakes. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. It. thi. It's the. It's to. It's to. It's toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. that's that's that's that's that's the the the the that that thto try and bore you with all the technical details, but while America

is developing its own 5G, China's 5G is so far ahead. Like they're basically going to set the trends. It's like how back in the day there used to be a fight between DVD and laser disc. And if you're wondering, what the hell is laser disc? Yeah, that's America's 5G. So this is a race many people already saying America has lost. Luckily, and I can't believe I'm saying this, America is lucky that you have a maniac on your team who's willing to play dirty.

President Trump has signed an executive order banning US companies from using telecom equipment deemed to be a national security threat, and that's a direct shot at China and its tech giant Huawei. As the U.S. clampdown on the company causes a major domino effect, the UK's biggest mobile network pulling Huawei from its 5G launch, while three of Japan's mobile operators have stopped taking orders or delayed the summer release of a new Huawei phone. Donald J. Mother effing Trump.

This guy could see America wasn't going to win, so he just got a crowbar and pulled a Tanya Harding on China's 5G. Just went in straight there. Yeah. The man might not know what 5G is, but he does know how to mess up other people's shit. It's just in there. Bam! And I'm going to be honest with you. I don't actually blame Donald Trump because I don't know how else America can win this race.

Because even if America does manage to cripple Huawei and China, it's not like America will suddenly have great 5G, right? You won't just have 5G overnight. Unless America just pretends that it does. AT&T is putting a fake 5G logo on iPhones and iPods now. The company confirming to PC magazine that the new icon is going to show up when users download Apple's latest beta version of iOS 12.2. But it's not really 5G. AT&T just changed the name for its 4G LTE advanced network to 5g E. The E stands for evolution.

Okay guys that's really sad. AT&T's just going to lie and put another stick. It's like you have a smart car and then you just tape Lamborghini on the side of it. Let's check it out man. Driving a Lambeau now zero to 60 and four minutes flat. But seeing as it's a race that might be lost, AT&T might be onto something here because this is considered the new space race so maybe America can win this race the same way it won the last one. Just fake it, baby. Watch the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central,

and stream full episodes any time on Paramount Plus. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at.

That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News, listened to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple Podcasts starting September 17. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.