The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Indoor vs. Outdoor Pools | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: April 16, 2023

“When there’s lightning, I can swim in my pool. When it's a rainy day, I can swim in my pool. When it's just nasty outside, I can swim in my pool. My pool indoors is consistent.”- Josh Johnson ���For me, the outdoor pool has represented a lifestyle. Because a pool day is a sunny day. We are drinking a nice beverage, we’re out here just judging others, really taking in the scene.” - Dulcé Sloan It’s an “aquatic argument” of indoor vs. outdoor pools, this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. Hold Up  is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. What's up here's edition, listener is Josh Johnson, writer for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original Daily Show podcast. Hold Up, hosted by me and daily show correspondent Dulce Sloan. It's where we take our office banter into a weekly war words about topics big and small. In this episode we have an aquatic argument of indoor-voer pools. We chat about what our dream pools would look like and what is the best pool day experience. Tune in to find out which side of the debate we each land on. If you like the show, check out the Holdup podcast, wherever you eat your podcast.

So step your game up, live an indoor pool lifestyle, feed, clothes clothes and pool your family. Okay. That's amazing. Okay. Feed, cloth and pool your family. Honestly, I can get behind that. Hey everybody, welcome to Hold Up. I am Josh Johnson. I am one of your co-host. I'm a writer for the Daily Show and I am joined by Dulce slum! Crack! Crack! Crack! Benin'a ninnin' it! Benin'a ninnin' it. Dinnin'an' ninnin' it.

Duh-dud-d-d'u-duh. You're a hater. No, I'm not a hater. I was waiting for the rest, because I said your name, but that you did the noise, but that you stopped talking. Oh yeah, they know I'm a correspondent on the Daily Show. I got to say this every time? I don't know. I don't know who's listening. Joshua, tell the people, what is our top to some people it's that's that's that's that's to that's to that's to to that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the to the the the to the the the to the the the the to to the to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oi.oes.o.oes.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the that is, it's tough because some people, to some people it's going to seem the same. All right? And we need you to know it's not. It's not the same at all.

Okay. Today's topic is indoor pool versus outdoor pool. And you know as originally a Florida Negro, you know exactly what side I'm gonna pick. But we gonna give the people, La Hente. Geez. A momento? To think about it. Uh-huh.

So go on, play the music. Now what side do you think me and Josh picked? Because you picked your side. And I'm going to tell you, Joshua, tell the people, La hentite. Mm-hmm. What in your always misguided? Always misguided? Wow.

Always an accurate, incorrect point of view. What did you pick? I chose indoor pool. Incorrect. Well go on. Okay, you want to talk about incorrect, okay. I'm telling you right now, because the thing that you are picking with outdoor pool, you're imagining a specific type of pool that I don't have to deal with being inside okay and I'm talking about that above ground outdoor pool all right that's that's up that's up with your pools okay all of my pools go deep all all all of my pools inside are lavish, decadent. So you're saying that there's no indoor above ground pools?

I have not seen one. That don't mean they don't exist. Yeah, but where have you seen one? You've never seen Jesus, but you believe in him? I'm saying where have you seen what the pools that we're talking about outside? So I would never see an above ground indoor pool. I'm starting to think that maybe there aren't any, all right?

If I haven't seen what and you haven't seen, there has to be somewhere, yes, but we're talking about one maybe versus thousands. Okay. Of above ground pool, right? Sitting on the top of the lawn, Ray to bust like bad boys to above ground pools. Is the indoor above ground pool just a hot tub? I feel like even the hot tubs are a little bit more sunken

indoors. There are... I've never climbed up to get to a hot tub. Oh, indoor therapy pools are above, are set up above ground. Oh, so even when my pools are above pools are, to, to, the pools, the pools, to, the pools are, the pools are, to, the to, the the the to, the the the thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, is to the to to to tooos, is tooos, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooes, is, is, is to to to to to to to to to to to tooes, is the the the the thoes, the the thoes, the thoes, the the the the thoes, the the the the tooooosk toooos.oos.ooos. Is tooooooooooooos. Is tool tools. Is tools, is tub. Oh, indoor therapy pools are above are set up above ground. Also even when my pools are above ground, they're therapeutic. Thank you. Thank you for helping me and my point. Watch yourself.

You got too much tip on your chip. No, no thank you. Too much dip on my chip. Okay, wow. Pretty rich coming from you. It might always misguided. We had barely started the episode in my always misguided view. Because here's the thing, when you are in an indoor pool situation, okay?

When you're protected from the elements. Now, I could actually go swimming when it's raining I go swimming when it's lightning Okay, I don't have to worry about what the rest of the world is doing when I go swim Okay, I'm just gonna see you this well thing. Okay, on the eBay. Mm-hmm It's five grand are you talking about a kitty pool is that where you're sending me? No Negro okay because a kiddie pool could be indoors or outdoors. That's th? th? That's th? That's th? That's th? th. That's th. That's th? th. That's th. That's th. th. thi? thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th kitty pool? Is that where you're sending me? No, negro. Okay, because the kitty pool could be indoors or outdoors. That's a stalemate. No, no, this is still outside. Don't do that. That's an outside trying to be inside outdoor pool. Now help me out. Tell me what you think is so special about outdoor pools.

What puts them over the edge of indoor? Because I got air conditioning, I got safety. Me and my brother and my mama, my family, used to live on North Miami Beach. Okay. We lived in a hotel on North Miami Beach, and every day, I would either go swimming in the pool or swimming in the ocean. Like my brother and I my brother only had a German tourist talk my brother had to swim. For me, a pool is nostalgia. You know when I was little we would go to my Auntie Joy's house for my birthday

every year and they had a pool at their house. Because and then, you know, my auntie Fifi, her parents had a pool. So like I grew up going to black people's houses with pools. Okay. And then we went to camp and so we would go swimming. And because I can swim enough to keep myself alive. I'm not out here going to the Olympics or nothing like that. But, you know, water won't kill me. What land probably will, but water, I'm good. I'm buoyant of shit.

For me, the outdoor pool also, it's like, me, ha ha, you'd appreciate this. So when I moved to LA in 2016, I'm in Madison, Shepherd, and Daniel Perez. It's like one of my best friends now. And we started this group on Facebook called You Can't Swim With Us. And we would throw pool parties. But Danielle didn't have a pool at her house. Daniels didn't have a pool at her house. Madison lives in an apartment with no pool.

So we would be at other people apartment complexes and it was a private group on Facebook and these comics were really trying because we were private we were not letting everybody in because like listen it's gonna be plus-sized bitches a two-piece bathing suits and we don't need no static okay and people were pressed to get in this group Josh. Pressed and sometimes like somebody was like oh this person wants to get in I'm like I'm like I'm like I the the the the the I the I the I the I th th I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm like th. I'm like th. th. I'm like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th get in this group, Josh. Pressed. And sometimes like somebody was like, oh, this person wants to get in, I'm like, I don't really like them. So like they had to have like at least two-thirds approval to get into the group.

Well, the other wild thing about being in LA at that time was that it would be like, fucking 3.30 in an afternoon on Wednesday and there's like 12 people here to go swimming and I'm like, why aren't any, none y'all are at work? Yeah. I'm a full-time comic. Okay. You're not. Mm-hmm. And you always bitch about being broke.

Go get it. Like, LA is the only, like, I've never had lived in where, like, L. at work. So for me, the pool has represented a lifestyle. Can you swim when there's lightning? No. And I've had people tell me they go swimming in the rain, which I think is a completely stupid thing to do. What I don't like about indoor pools is that the room that they're in, one, always reeks of chlorine, is just muggy. A lot of times, also, you know when you're on the road, a lot of hotels like Michigan or like Pennsylvania will always have indoor pools.

Okay. I always feel gross in an indoor pool. There's something about, the room is always wet, it's always kind of humid in there, it's always smelling a chlorine, a little muggy, so it's like when you're in an outdoor situation, because like a pool day is like a sunny day, we are drinking and a nice, a beverage, you know, just sitting. Just out here just judging others, really taking in the scene like

God excited excited excited So like a pool day yeah a pool day like I remember my mom used to drop me and my brother off technically I don't think she was supposed to be doing this at the public pool in a Best Friend park in Norcross and she dropped us off with some lunchy. So I've always been like a swimming, going swimming, kind of can't. Like the dream of my life is to have a house with a cement pond. Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I think that that's dope. I want that for you. I will just say indoor pool pool day is every day you keep listing the best conditions for an outdoor pool but see that's the thing it's like it's the best conditions because you're not in a

muggy room you're not in you don't come out stinking of chlorine your eyes aren't burning you know what I mean it's like the room that an indoor pool is in is never a nice, it never feels good. It never feels good to you. It never feels good. No, the water in indoor pool feels nasty. The room that it's always the wrong, it's a wrong kind of hot.

Okay. It never feels good to me because it's like humid but chlorine humid. It's muggy. Mm-hmm. Because it's pool heated, is this room heated, what's going on? Yeah. And then it's like your eyes start burning because it's just a mist of chlorine. I just I've never... Are you allergic to chlorine? Absolutely not. Okay it's just there's a lot about the chlorine and I feel like that's never hit me the same. Because indoor pools I think are over chlorinated because I've never had this. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that. Because they don't have the sun. You know, to really just burn things off.

Truly. You have to adapt for the fact that this pool isn't a fluorescent light. To me, I guess, an outdoor pool is redundant because if you have an outdoor pool and you have the ocean, just go for the ocean. Some people don't like the ocean. I understand. Some people are very afraid of the ocean. Also, it's like, there's nothing that swims in a pool is people. Kind of. There's no fish in a swimming pool. Not on purpose.

Shut up Josh. Chlorine will kill a fish. Stop it. That's why pools are chlorinated. No fish is jumping out of the sea. Mm-hmm. El Mar. Hey. I'm sure there's one.

All right. I'm not playing this game what you say. Okay? I will not live for these shenanigans on this day. Yeah, yeah. So what I'm saying is that is also, if you're in a landlocked area, you have to have a pool. If the closest ocean is more than two hours away, you're not going there on a regular basis. If you want to get aquatic in this bitch, you have to have

a pool. Now when you talk about the history of swimming pools, it is very fucked up. You know, the fact that we weren't allowed to swim in them, you know, people have pools at their houses because public pools got closed because they didn't want us in there You know, but now We get to swim don't we? Mostly I think okay. Yeah, but I think that in door you can bring you if you have an indoor pool, you know what it it speaks to me personally, usually somebody's house or at an establishment. Oh, I'm talking about both, but the one at the house is gonna be hard to be hard to be? You, you? You, you? You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi, to to to to to thi, to thi, to thi, that, thi, thi establishment? Oh, I'm talking about both. But the one at the house is gonna be hard to be, okay? Because an outdoor pool at your house, all right. You might still have to give that one to nature every once in a while. But an indoor pool in your house, I'm bringing snacks to an outdoor pool?

Not always, no, especially if it's above ground. Have you ever heard of the redneck trifector? I have heard of it, but remind me what it actually is. Above ground pool. Okay. Trampoline. Mm-hmm. Pondoon boat. Three of the most fun things you could hope for on a Saturday afternoon. Do you know anyone who lives in Florida? Mm-hmm. Now, have you ever been to the home of someone with the pool in Florida? I believe so, yeah.

Now, did you see that the pool is outside, but is encased by a screen? Like a giant screen as big as, it basically is as big as the house. I don't know if I've seen that. So basically you're like indoors and outdoors at the same time. Don't, don't tell me that. Hold on. Let me send it to you.

Oh no, this is, this is nice. I thought you meant,to you. Oh no, this is this is nice. I thought you meant when you set a screen I thought you meant the you know like the screen door material that mesh that makes a screen door It is made out of that. I thought that you meant The walls were made out of it and the ceiling was made out of it. It doesn't look like there's some you got support beams Yeah, there's some real wall. No, what it is just the support beams to create the shape and then in between that is pure screen. The thing is if you have a hybrid situation where you essentially built on to your pool from outside to make it kind of inside I don't know where that lands I don't know if that becomes inside or it stays outside. Well, the pool is a screen enclosure.

So what it does, it's like you can enjoy being outside without like the mosquitoes and the bugs and all of that. Yeah. Also you can have food out there so there's no flies. Yes, it's gonna come down somewhat on the flies somewhat on the mosquitoes if you're outside they're fighting their way in okay and I think with an indoor pool you don't have to worry about the flies you have to worry about the mosquitoes you have to worry about the mosquitoes and flies can get in your house if you're going in and out of a door. They can, but not at the rate. No, just being outside, outside, of course.

It's just, that's where the bugs are, you can't end to they shit. But... You're in their neighborhood. That's why I don't kill bugs outside, because I'm in they shit. You don't what? I don't kill bugs. I try not to kill a bug if I'm outside Where's I'm what what is his face? I'm just I'm just I'm just from outside Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't want to kill a bug if I'm outside like that's their shit Now if you're in my house. That's a different situation. Mm-hmm. You came in my shit, but I'm gonna try to try to tounk you to to to to to the to th? th the th th th th th th th th to th th the th? the to th? the the th. to the to to the to their the the' to their their the' their thin' thususususus. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususususus. toe toe toe try to put you outside, but if you're a donkey, you die. Like flies though, there's a fly in my house, you die. I can say that I don't think you've given me any good reason to have an indoor pool.

The reason I've given you to have an indoor pool is that you are not out there. And I can list them if you need, but you're not out there with the elements. All right? When it's light, when it's lightning, when it is lightning, I can swim in my pool. When it's a rainy day, I can swim in my pool. When it's just nasty outside. You know, like sometimes it's just not fun outside even though it's not bad weather I can swim in my pool. My pool indoors is consistent. Also a pool indoors if you can afford it if you're blessed like that everything it is lavish it is it is a beautiful thing I've I've never seen, I'll just say this I've never been in someone's house that had an indoor pool all right every indoor pool. Who's house have you been in with an indoor pool? I'm not gonna say all their names but it's it's been it's th. to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm not gonna say all their names but it's it's been

Oh friends yeah two Where they let was this a Louisiana or is it Chicago there? One was Chicago and one was New York? Yo, an indoor pool in New York? Yeah. At they house? Yeah. You should marry that person. Ah, no, he's taken. Marry's parents? Get adopted.

Do something. Why don't you put in work? Why don't you try? Yeah! No, I'm with you. I'm with you. I mean, I mean, just the lack of an access to I mean as a child I remember seeing on TV Kids playing like a fire hydrant Mm-hmm. It was a saddest thing I've ever seen Look, I'll tell you right now for for my listeners listening right now who get me who get to me Who get where I'm coming from? There's twotwo angles right here that I want you to hear me from truly, all right?

One, men, all right, men, I want you to listen to me right now. Your family deserves an indoor pool, all right? So then as a man, you gotta go out there, you gotta work. You gotta do everything that you need to do to go ahead and get an indoor pool for your family. You don't want those kids out there struggling in an above ground pool.

Daddy, I can't get out. It's six feet tall, right? You forgot to put the water in. I live here now, right? You don't want your children yelling at you like that. You don't want your wife yelling at you, hey, how are you going to get these kids out of this pool? There's no water, all right? They broke their little feet, jumping in, doing cannonballs to nothing, all right? Get an indoor pool.

Let them see the water down there before they jump in. Don't make them jump off faith. But look, second angle right here, second angle for the people listening, I want you to have enough money in this world to get an indoor pool because you deserve it after, only after you've put in that work after you've grinded. Okay, after that- I knew grinding was going to come up, I felt it. Yeah, because honestly, a lot of the- no one gets an indoor Pool by chance people put in below ground pools

Nobody gets that by chance all right your house didn't already come when you got to work for exactly you got a work you got a to grind okay Doos they already know what I'm talking about you got a put in worth you got to go home Look at your house and be like house Why you being lame? Not enough. Why you being lame? Okay All right. Don't rest your head until you can rest your head underground in an indoor pool Don't rest on your laurels because you need to be resting on the tile of a swimming pool Go ahead and rest on those floaties that you get from bringing home tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thou thou thou th th th th th th th. their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their their their house their their house their their their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house their house. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to to their house. their house on the tile of a swimming pool. Go ahead and rest on those floaties that you get from bringing home all that money to build an indoor pool.

You already know. You already know. I can see what you're saying. You can swim whatever you want. Mm-hmm. You can swim any time in an indoor pool. You can grind any time to get an indoor pool. But if you get an indoor pool, it can grind any time to get an indoor pool. If you get an indoor pool it has to be heated. Because if it's cold outside and it's below-ground pool, your pool could be cold. So you have to get a heated pool. And if you're going to be really doing it right, you got to get a saltwater pool. That's just a little extra grinded, all right? You don't even really need a worry. Okay? That's just you already you you you you you you you you you you you you you you already you already you already you already you already the the the the the the to be to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be really to be really to be really to be really to be really to be really to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. the th. the the the the the the th. the thi. the the the thi. the the the the the the thoooooooooooooo. too. too. that's just you already got the indoor pool money then go ahead just grind until you get the full pool money Yeah, yeah, also. Also you want some lights. Okay, maybe you need some lights at the bottom pool with no lights a pool? A pool with no lights a dark pool you might as well be in stranger things oh my god I saw somebody. I don't know on my tick tcoo tool. the pool. the pool. the pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. Oh pool. Oh pool. Oh. Oh pool. Oh. Oh pool. A pool. A pool. A pool. A pool. A pool. A pool with. A pool with pool with pool with pool with the pool with pool with pool. A pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with no pool with no pool with no pool with no pool with no pool with no pool with no pool with no pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with the pool with. the pool pool? A dark. You might as well be in stranger things. Oh my god, I saw somebody, I don't know.

On my Tick Tock, it was a pool, it was cleaning Tick Tock and it was pool, it was a pull tick-tick-talk. The British man that cleans pools. I didn't know people that's the warm enough to goast, what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's only, I don't know what's even, we were there for the warmest months of the year and it wasn't warm enough to go swimming. Yeah, yeah. And so he had a client and they painted the bottom of the pool red. That's so, like, it was disturbed. I don't even know what to say.

It was disturbing. A red bottom pool. So did it just look like you were swimming in blood? It did! Apparently, this person's not the only psychopath ever do this shit. That's, that's deeply disturbing. I can't even imagine diving in. Now, what is your, because I want to be fair.

I brought up outdoor, above ground pools, all the stuff, all the elements, everything I do want to be fair. What is your ideal ideal, thi thi thi thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, apparently, apparently, that, that, th. It th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It is, th. It is, th. It is th. th. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thiaaaa. thia. thi. that, that all the stuff, all the elements, everything. I do want to be fair. What is your ideal perfect pool? Oh, well, my ideal perfect pool. One is actually near the beach. Okay. Why is that? Because the feeling you get when you get into the ocean, the feeling you get when you get into a pool. Okay. And I don't like swimming in the ocean at night because I don't want to go missing. So when you're near the ocean but you're in a pool you get that ocean

without being in the ocean. Okay got you got you and so your ideal pool does it have any extra features or there any other things going on with your pool besides it being near the ocean or Was that just the first thing? That was just the first thing? So first thing also there needs to be an area Like the pool that was at the house. We had in the Bahamas was great. Because there was a a basically a bench that went all the way like in the water that. T I I I I I I the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. their their their their the the the the the the their their their was their was their was their was their was their was their was their was their was their was I I I I I I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was. the the the the the the tree. tree. tree. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the too. the, like in the water that went all the way around the pool, inside, where you're in the pool, but you can sit down, because not everybody can fit on the stairs, you know what I mean? So there's that.

I did also like the fact that pool was all, it was just a little bit deeper in the middle, but for the most part it was all the same depth. I don't even the at my house is eight feet deep. That's insane. A good six feet. Also I like those pools where the ones, not the one where you step in, but the ones that like start like a two or three inches of water and then it just gradually gets deeper. So the pools in a full incline. I like that because then you can really like almost just lay down Mm-hmm and still be in the pool. Got you. So

So I want to get it right so help me list it right near the ocean has the the seated step all the way around, but has the gradual steps to enter that that take a while the rise and run of those is smoother and longer. Yeah, because if you're doing that, so when you have those rising and like is that when there's a spot where it just like becomes one level. Mm-hmm. And then you can sit and then there's the deeper part of it. Got you and it's only going six feet deep. It's not going th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the theat the the the the that theat the the the the the the thi the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. ta th. ta ta ta ta tha tha tha tha thaeea thaeeea thaeeeeeeea thaeea to tha tha thea thea the the the the sit and then there's the deeper part of it. Got you and it's only going six feet deep. It's not going eight feet not going way way beyond right? Okay. Um, all right. Is there anything else? This is my dream pool? Yeah. So don't even think about the house. Think about just the pool.

You can have whatever you want at the pool. Because when I tell you mine I just want to make sure we're not talking about the the the the the the the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house to to to to to to to to to to to to th. tho tho the pool. You can have whatever you want at the pool. Because when I tell you mine, I just want to make sure we're not talking about the house it's in. It's specifically the pool. Oh, then I want there to be a bar. Okay. I want there to be a bar. Bar pool side. A bar side. Also, my home boy, his pool and his apartment had these like seats. the, like these concrete seats, so you could be sitting down, but like really like secured sitting down, so you could like sleep if you wanted to. Because I did of being in water and being asleep is great. All right, yeah, I think that those are all respectable choices. Oh, wait, I forgot something. Yeah, what's up? I would want the ability to cover it

if I needed to. Hmm. Sounds like someone's come around. No, no, no, no. Like in the winter time to keep like leaves and stuff out of it. So you don't have to like shock your pool and all those other stuff? Yeah, yeah. To be able to keep the stuff out also if it's a particularly bad mosquito season because like the covering, because like I, the enclosures for pools, the screen enclosures are cool, but you still feel like you're inside. I like sitting in the open earth, but say it's a rainy day. Or there's a lot of, you you know the bugs is out then you could throw a little covering up you know I'm with you but for the most part but also it's like I think it's okay that there's a rainy day and you can't go swimming that's

okay mmm you know the whole winter time okay you can't go swimming I got a balcony I was on my balcony was 10 degrees outside You know, the whole winter time, okay, you can't go swimming. I got a balcony. I wasn't on my balcony was 10 degrees outside. Mm-hmm. Or, or maybe. You wouldn't have to deny yourself if you would just go ahead and hustle until you had this indoor pool money and you as an indoor pool can go swimming all the time, non-stop, hot or cold outside raining lightning thundering swimming all of it A little bit?

Now can you swim? Not well no, no, no, you could do just enough to not drown? A little less than that, but yeah, yeah, so you're telling me the water get too deep? Mm-hmm. Then it's bye-bye Josh? Oh, then it's it's bye-bye Josh? Oh, the? Oh, the? the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. the that. the that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, i. th, i. th, i. th. th. th. thin. thin. tip. tip. tip. today. today. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. the than that, but yeah, yeah. So you're telling me the water get too deep? Mm-hmm. Then it's bye-bye Josh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I go pretty, pretty knee-heavy. Knee-heavy? Yeah, I'm like, once it hits the knees, you know, I'm like, ah, that the rest of the water over there too heavy for me. Oh, okay, the knee is, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. too. tree is is is tree is too. too. tree is too. too. tree is is, the is the is, the the the the the the the the rest of the water over there too heavy for me. Oh, okay, the knee is your threshold. Mm-hmm. Knee is, you know, maybe stick my hands in a little bit, lean in front of the knees and let the water touch me, but oh, no, no, not going deep, deep. My ideal pool, that's why it's six feet. Because even though I'm not six feet, I can still give a little jump, grab some air, grab a little air with my mouth and then come back down, you know.

Snatch some air with my lips and then come back down and swim around and walk around and stuff but every once in a while just instead of when you have a six foot deep pool and you're at least average height you don't have to swim. You can just hop every now again, just grab some water, come back down. That's what the dolphins do, you know. So I would just pop up like, oh! And then come back down and look around or whatever you do when you're in a pool at then. Remember when the kid, like the ideas of open your eyes and a pool was insane? Yeah, I was like, guys I'll go blind. Right. And then you did it and you just like, the they. And you're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I'll their. I'll, their. I'll, their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll to. I'll just, to. I'll just, to. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. too. I'll. I'll. I'll. to. to. I'll. I'll. the. I. blind. Right. And then you did it and you're just like, one, I can't see shit. Mm-hmm. And two, now my eyes are burning.

Yeah, I could see just enough to get kicked in the face. Like, I could see. Yes, you're always too close to somebody. Yeah. Did you ever baptized each other? No, not really. We just played, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to to to, to, to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, to, and, and, and, to, to, to, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, thi. tho, Mm-hmm. What a fun little Southern thing to do. It's just... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You and all your friends just baptizing each other? Because that makes sense? Yeah. No, I'm with you. I just, this is my thing. To me, the perfect pool, indoors. the teks, it has a little bit of a little the the thi of a little thi of a little thiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the to to thi, to to to to, the to, the to, the the the the to, the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be, th. to be, to be, to be, th. to be, to be, to be, the, the, the, the, the. to be thea, theat, thean, thean, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. toe. to a little bit of a mimic to what you're saying because it does have a little place for you to sit if you want to be in the pool but not actually swimming and and he the the lights all right so heed it with the lights so I can see myself in case I'm drowning I can see

it right I can be like let me go ahead and pop up real quick, you know? The thing you have to be wary about for an outdoor pool is the cleanliness of the pool. You always have to be on top of that. But I feel like indoor pools, I've never been an indoor pool. Like that's all like those pools like a YMCA. I always feel like there's this film on my body. Whenever I get out of an indoor pool. Yeah. I don't know what I can, I'm always itchy. Whenever I get out of an indoor pool, like you have to take a shot, I'm so itchy.

I don't know if they put more, well, I don't know what it is, but I'm always like, oh! When I get out of an indoor pool. So maybe, I'm an an the, I'm, I'm. Yeah. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I can't, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm thin. I'm always th. I'm always thin. I'm always th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I it is, but I'm always like, ugh, when I get out of an indoor pool. So maybe I'm anti-indoor pool because of the experiences that I've had of how it's just gross I have felt. Uh-huh. Yeah, because like a hotel or YMCA are the only times I really see indoor pools. I'm with you. I guess my thing is, okay, okay. When I've been at an outdoor pool, I have been.. the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. thin. th. thi. thin. thin. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, I thi. I thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. I'm toe. I'm to to to to to to thin. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm with you I guess my thing is okay okay when I have been at an outdoor pool I have been accosted with germs like just just the visible you want to talk about a film let's talk about pee okay because the amount of children who I've seen pee in a public pool it's is violence they're not there's not enough chlorine in the pool. the the the the times the times the times the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the the the the the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the outdoor the the the outdoor the the outdoor the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the outdoor pool. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the amount of children who I've seen pee in a public pool, is violence.

There's not enough chlorine in the pool. The whole thing should be a vat of chlorine for all the peeing you're letting people do. I can tell you. Mm-hmm. I was at a pool in, um, or that Austin, Texas, hotel pool. The water was only like, way, was probably three feet deep. And it wasn't a very big, I'm talking about Josh, this was, I guess it was like a big dinner today.

The pool wasn't big enough for how many people were in it. And everybody was drinking. Every single person Yeah probably 50 people in that pool Yeah, it was probably a pool that you have 20 people in it max It's a very vaguous thing to have happen. It's a very vaguous thing the water wasn't deep at all. Yeah, yeah, you're just getting those elbows wet You're gonna you see like your waist like a six foot man was waisty. Mm-hmm. Everybody's drinking. We were probably there for three or four hours. I really didn't see people getting out of this pool. And I thought people have multiple drinks.

Mm-hmm. And once I realized that at the hour one, I was like, oh, everybody's peeing in this pool. Mm-hmm. Because I peed in that pool. And I was like, oh, this water looks different. Let me get out of this pool. Because I don't know if I was selling the truth, I don't know if it was just like my, my silly brain. I was like, I think this water is like changing. Oh, God!

So we all are, we're just in pee. Yeah, yeah. Because I went back to my room and took the most magnificent shower. Mm-hmm. Because I was like, this is, a bunch of us all noticed it the same like nobody was getting out. Mm-hmm. People were getting like drink after drink, and this guy was like, so we're just standing in each other's peeing, and somebody went yes. That person definitely peed, the one that said yes.

But let's kick it to the listeners. Yeah, I mean, I want to hear from all of you, what would you rather? And also, tell us about your dream pool. Who do you think was right? And who do you think is Josh? I mean, why you gotta, like, I'm trying, this whole episode. to to help to help to help to help to help to help and to help and to help and to help and to help and to help and to help, and to help, and to help, and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come, to come, to to to to to come, to come, to come, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the.e.e.e.e. toooomk. tooomk. tooomk. tooomk. to-a, this whole episode, I'm trying to help and have points and all, and then you're gonna come at me at the top and the back end?

You said you're like at an indoor pool and I can't, I can't condone that. You can't condone, I gave you every clear reason why my pools are superior. I, I'm not here for your pool supremacy. Yeah, but you also don't really want to listen to reason. You know what, let the listeners tell us, okay? Uh-huh. Let the listeners let us know. Who is living their truth? Who is telling the truth about these pizinas?

Who is letting their truth, who was telling the truth about these Piscinas? Mm-hmm. Who was letting the children know how to live their lives? So listen, you tell us, you go to the comments and the YouTube's, now you tell us how you feel. And I'm not going to try to bias you in these last few seconds of the show, I would never do that. You make your own decisions. Oh my gosh What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's fine. Not the head scratch. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Not the high octave and the head scratch. Yep. You're talking to me like I'm a man. You earned both. Okay. You earned both. Okay. No, I'm good.

I'm fine. Listen, until next time, okay, keep putting in work on yourself, keep grinding, keep hustling, all right, get to the top, get to the top, get to the top of the top, when you're at the top 1top of the top when you're the top 1% of the 1% look yourself in the mirror and still say it's not good enough okay remember that all right and and for you men out there remember why I said about family remember why I said about pools all right so step your game up live an indoor pool lifestyle feed clothes and pool your family. So step your game up live an indoor pool lifestyle Feed clothes and

Pool your family. Okay, feed clothing pool your family. Honestly, I can get behind that. That's what I want for you and that's what I want for the people in your life. And I was going to say that there is, someone messengers me, Jill Byrd 78 said, we need some Dulce merch that says, get your books up. Because she is an inspiration to the children. Okay, all right. Josh, how you inspiring children today? I'm inspiring them with ways,

ways coming through my book, coming out this summer. Grind, grind, ground. Okay? I want to clear myself. I want to clear myself. I hate you so much. You bastard! You bastard!

I would be... Josh, you asshole! Thank you so much for listening. We love you and we will catch you next week. Bye-A-Labamba! Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.