The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Introducing The Daily Show's Second Annual Pandemmy Awards | Aly Raisman

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Nurses experience pandemic burnout in the U.S., Trevor rolls out the second annual Pandemmy Awards, and Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman discusses her documentary special "Darkness to Light." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. You know I feel like I feel like kids are

lucky these days because I mean they're always lucky. Like kids are the luckiest because they get like a lollipop when they get a vaccine shot. Like just when you get a shot in general, you get a lollipop. And then when you get older, they just stop giving you the lollipop. But I mean, we still, I mean, why do you not need a lollipop. I don't understand what that has to do with anything? Because you still got the shot. There's the the their their. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. T's. T's. T's. T's. T, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. And then, thi. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, thi. And then, the. And then, the. And then, the. And then, the. And then, when, when the. And then, when the. And then, the. And for a lollipop then my doctor's like, oh grow up Trevor. I'm like I'm grown up but I just like lollipops. I just think it's you know? Whatever. I mean I could buy my own lollipops yeah but that's not the point. Like a free lollipop is very different to like a

like a lollip like it's like a reparation's lollipop for like a lollipop for something for something for something now I'm just like a guy, a grown man just going into a store. Can I have a lollipop please? Coming to you from the heart of Times Square, the most important place on earth, it's the Daily Show. Ears edition tonight. The nurses are not all right. COVID's biggest stars in Alley Regional.ism. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. All right, let's kick things off with the wildfires. They're when climate change says, you're going to learn today. In California, wildfires have been spreading like, uh, what's something that spreads fast?

Like really fast? Anyway, for months now, these wildfires have been burning down thousands and thousands of trees, which is bad enough, but now they're threatening to burn down famous trees. The Associated Press says California firefighters are scrambling to protect a grove of giant ancient sequoia trees. Yesterday flames reached one grove where the trail of 100 giant sequoias is a national monument. Firefighters battled to keep the blaze from driving further into another grove of 2,000 sequoias. That's where the base of the world's largest tree known as the General Sherman and other trees have been wrapped in protective foil.

Yeah, that's right. Protective foil. Imagine being the scientists who figured this one out. Right, one minute you're in the cafeteria about to eat a baked potato and the next minute you're like, wait a minute! And it's a great plan too because even if the foil doesn't save the tree, well it's gonna make that tree. Whoo that wood is just going to fall off the bone. And I know it may seem thin, that thin, and I may thin, and I may thin, and I may thin, thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the, that, thin, thin, thin' thin' thin' the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, the th, th, that, that, that, thin, thin, the, thean, thean, thean, thean, than'nigh, thean, thean, theat, theat, the, thin, thin, they're going to all these lengths for one tree. But guys, you don't get it. This is a celebrity tree. You know, it's the same way we all shrugged off coronavirus until Tom Hanks got it.

Then we shut the whole planet down. Tom's got it! Not to mention, General Sherman isn't just the largest tree in the world. It has also been around for over 2,000 year. 2,000 years. Yeah, think about it. That tree probably knew the cross that Jesus died on. It sees a crucifix and it's like, Steve! Steve! I mean, you realize that tree is so old? It was around during slavery. And it did nothing to stop it. You just stood there and watched us, Tree! You watched us! Then again, I feel like there's something we don't consider, right?

2,000 years is a long time for anything to be alive. Like, how do we know that this tree actually wants to be saved? It might have been happy to see the fire coming. It's the circle of life. At last, I can finally be at peace. No! The humans! The humans! Thea they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are the human human human human the human they're the human. thi. thi. thi. thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi thi! thi! thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi. thi. thi. thi wrapping me in forest. What are you doing, you stupid humans? No! My wife is waiting for me in tree heaven, you idiots! Wait for me, Linda, wait for me, and don't you be boning Steve up there? All right, but let's move now from the crisis in California to the crisis in Afghanistan. A retirement home for America's most expensive weapons.

Since the Taliban tolvan took back took back took back took back took back took backthe Taliban took back control of the country, they've announced that girls cannot go to school and that women aren't allowed to play sports or hold most jobs. So basically it's like if Brittany's conservatorship were a country. And after some hard work restricting women's rights, it looks like the Taliban are rewarding themselves with some much-deserved R&R. It's been three weeks since the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US military the US US US US US US US US US US US US US it's been three weeks since the U.S. military left Afghanistan. The Taliban is apparently taking advantage of the abandoned luxuries that were left behind.

Take a look at these photos that were posted by a journalist that have gone viral. Shows the Taliban fighters in pedal boats on the lake of an empty park. Militants hit the waters in the, you know, some are shaped like swan or a flamingo, whatever, other bird-themed vessels, Taliban members were seen pedaling around, carrying an arsenal of weapons, including what looks to be a rocket launcher in one shot. God damn, America only left Afghanistan two weeks ago and the Taliban already has a navy? And by the way, just a tip for the Taliban, I think once you're peddling inside a swan boat, you can put the rocket launcher down for a

minute, guys. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they have to feel like they have to be armed in case a skirmish breaks out, but you're still in a paddle boat, you know, like it's like a paradox. You can't be gangster in a paddle boat. Look over there! It's an infidel! Let's get him! Wee! And you know honestly, I think Americans should be happy about this story. Because for 20 years America tried to export its values to Afghanistan and it worked. Yeah, now the Taliban all posing like Instagram influences. Okay, take one of me with the rocket launcher next to the swan. Take one, take one. What do you think? This is going to get so many so many so many so so so the the the so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We th. We th. We. We. We's. We's. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the., take one of me with the rocket launcher next to the swan. Take one, take one. What do you think? This is gonna get so many likes.

All right, and finally, a story about insects. They're having sex in your hair right now. And now, there's also a new one that is terrorizing the United States. Say hello to the East Coast. The quick moving pests native to Asia and known for their pale pinkish-gray wings, black dots and scarlet undercoat, were first documented in Pennsylvania in 2014. While they aren't a threat to humans or pets, they feed off 70 types of plants and trees. In the four years since they first showed up at Vinecrest Vineyards and winery in Pennsylvania, they've caused hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of damage. You see that and we

want you to identify it and we want you to squish it. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just tell untrained civilians to go insect hunting. It's going to end of a a the the to be out in the street killing innocent butterflies. I got it! Oh shit, what have I done? I'll just say it was affiliated with ISIS. Does that work? I mean, I will say though, this is a nice change of pace, you know? Usually the government's always telling us, oh, you have to save this animal. Save that animal. And now finally, we have an animal we're supposed to kill. I think it's good to have that balance in life. You know, yeah, you want to save the spotted owl, but then you're allowed to squish this little shit. I think all rules should be like that. Like if we're required to wear masks, we should be allowed not to wear pants in public. That's balance. It's yin and yang. So basically, it's up to all to all to all to all to all to all to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that's. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that. that's. that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theauxxxxxxxin. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the and yang. So basically, it's up to all of us to stop this invasive species from destroying everything.

And I don't know how confident I am, guys, because judging by our current track record on coming together to stop a deadly threat, I feel like we're only a few weeks away from the world being covered in these spotted lantern flies. You can't make me stomp on the lanternfly. This is, country. They're all over me! Ah, so much freedom! Too much freedom! Ah! All right, but let's move on to our top story. The coronavirus pandemic. It's the Second War America is losing in 2021. This pandemic has been making life really hard on a lot

of people. Restaurant owners, students, horses who just have to get used to being full of worms now. But perhaps nobody has been hit harder than nurses. I mean, you all remember early in the pandemic, whenever 7 PM rolled around, we all stopped what we were doing. We would go out to our windows, and we would clap for the nurses. I mean, I did it every night, unless I was in the middle of a really good show or something, like Tiger King.

Whoa, you guys remember Tiger King? Oh man, damn, that got us through some of the tough times. Yeah, give it up a Tiger King, actually. Tiger King, baby, I love it. But the point is, we all recognized the heroic sacrifices that health care workers were We'll stop clapping, but nurses never stopped sacrificing. And right now, things are as bad as ever. A grim picture as the Delta variant grips the nation. Hospitals across the country overwhelmed by the unvaccinated. Right now, 97% of the people in the hospital with COVID and nearly all the COVID deaths being reported

are among the unvaccinated. Exhaustion, turning into outright anger for some health care workers the unvaccinated. Exhaustion turning into outright anger for some health care workers treating unvaccinated COVID patients. We're frustrated, we're aggravated. This could have been prevented. We could have avoided this whole wave if more people in our country had gone and just gotten two shots.

When they're all these people who are dying who didn't get vaccinated are wishing they got to vaccination. It's wearing.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's treate that's the the that's that's that's that's te te treate treath treath treath treath treathea treathea treate treate treate that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the thea. thea. treats that's te. te. te. te. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. that's te. When they're all these people who are dying who didn't get vaccinated are wishing they got to vaccination, it's wearing and it makes us angry. Yeah people, I don't blame these health care workers one bit for feeling fed up. They're being forced to deal with a completely preventable crisis. That's not what they signed up for. They signed up to treat people for things that we don't have vaccines for, and to pretend not to judge you when you got weird things stuck up your butt. Like nurses don't have a problem treating people that were rescued from a burning building. But I think what would annoy nurses, though, would be treating people who

intentionally ran into the building because this has got to be. This pandemic could be under control by now, and it should be under control. But now, they have to fight it all over again. It's like if when World War II ended, everybody said, Hitler's dead. Let's go home. And then one guy was like, no wait.

I fixed him, guys. Now he's thir ahoo! So nurses are understandably pissed off right now and no matter how dedicated you are to a profession everyone has a breaking point and nearly two years into serving on the front lines of this war a lot of them are starting to update their LinkedIn's. Some hospitals experiencing critical staffing shortages as frontline workers say they feel like they're underwater. Survey during the pandemic found that that that that that th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nes is toe nirs. to workers say they feel like they're underwater. A survey during the pandemic found that 62% of intensive care nurses are burned out. Burnout stress, grueling hours.

There are multiple reasons career nurses are choosing to leave. Mississippi has at least 2,000 fewer nurses than it did at the beginning of the year. In Kentucky, more than 20 hospitals report critical staffing shortages. In hard hit New York, there was a 400% increase in nurses looking for new jobs. People just still honestly do not understand how severe this is, how bad staffing for nursing is. When Tom's are tough and things are getting rough, they'll have a pizza party. You know, you guys are spread really, really thin and we can't thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their thi. their their their their their their their their their thi. their their their their their, thi. thi. thi. theate. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's their. I's their. I's te. I's te. I's te. I's te. I's te. I's te. I'. I'e. teateateateate. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te are tough and things are getting rough, they'll have a pizza party. You know, you guys are spread really, really thin, and we can't get new nurses, but here's pizza. Okay, no, people?

No. You cannot solve a nurse shortage with a pizza party. In fact, it's probably gonna make the problem worse, because it's the last food you want to feed someone who needs to stay awake for a double shift. I mean, how many times have you had a pizza and then gone on to run a marathon? Never. That's how many times. You fell asleep on the couch, covered in pepperoni grease, using the empty box as a blanket, which is surprisingly warm. But obviously, nurses quitting is a huge problem. Because it's not like you're filling most of those positions. I mean, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, the the thus, thus, thiou-a, thi, thi, thi, their thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thruu. thrui.auui.auuui.au.au. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi.'re filling most of those positions. I mean who would want to become a nurse now in the middle of a pandemic? So why do you

want to be a nurse? I get to hold the bags of pee. Well you're the only person who applied so congrats. You got the job. Look man nobody can blame nurses who decide that they just can't take this anymore. Because people quit jobs for way less, like way less. I once quit a job because I forgot my computer password. And I was not in the mood for another wedgy from IT. But for those who do remain, the dwindling number of nurses means that their job is only getting harder. And as an extra insult, some of their colleagues are abandoning ship for a much stupider reason.

At a time when they're already staffing shortages, some nurses are threatening to quit, you're forced to get the COVID vaccine. One hospital in upstate New York will stop delivering babies after workers resigned over vaccine mandates. Houston hospital system has fired or accepted the resignations of more than 150 nurses and other staff members who refused mandatory COVID vaccinations. Show of hands.

How many of you have gotten a COVID vaccine? These are four health care workers from different hospitals in North Carolina. Why not? We don't know what the long-term side effects are. It also hasn't been proven to be effective. The CDC and many public health experts say that it's more than 90% effective. I have the right to question anybody in this country. I want a question. You're entitled to your opinion, but these are facts. Are they tha? Are they facts? Wow. Yo, this nurse is a genius, yo. She knows in order to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their the the th. thi. thi. the. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. th. the. the. this nurse is a genius, yo! She knows in order to stop an unvaccinated person,

you must first think like an unvaccinated person. In order to kill COVID, you must first die of COVID. It's so obvious now. For real, guys, how are you going to be a nurse and not believe in medicine? It's like working at Home Depot and not believing that you should hide from customers. Hello? Can anybody tell me what the letters are? Hello? And you know what blows my mind about this whole

thing is that these are health care professionals who are falling for this stuff. Like it's one thing when I'm getting medical advice from a random website but I don't want my nurse to also be like, I'm gonna give you these these these these th. th. the the the the pills their their their their their their their their their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi. th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, that you, that you, that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. And, th. th. And, th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, th. to, th. th. to, t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. te. th. the. the. the. a random website, but I don't want my nurse to also be like, I'm gonna give you these pills that I heard about on Reddit. Yeah, they got a ton of up votes. So, in large parts, thanks to unvaccinated people, the burden that has been placed on nurses is almost unimaginable. And maybe for whatever reason you don't have any sympathy for the nurses, you know? Maybe you're like, I don't know, an asshole. Well, guess what?

When they aren't enough nurses to go around and the ones who are there are burnt out, well, you might be the one who ends up paying the price. Across the United States, nursing shortages are causing delays in care, and they increase the risk of medical error. Normally critical care nurses are one to one or one to two, so one nurse for every two patients. Right now they're seeing one to three, one to four, one to five.

Nurses in some hospitals caring for as many as 10 patients. Every patient added to a nurse's workload is associated with a seven percent increase and the odds of patient will die just after common surgical procedures. Healthcare advocates warn nurse burnout can lead to life or death medical mistakes, including chart errors, administering incorrect doses of medication, even applying medical treatments to the wrong patient. A burned out nurse is a dangerous nurse. An exhausted nurse is not a safe nurse. Yeah, guys, this should be obvious, but

nurses are the last people you want making mistakes on the job. If someone working at Taco Bell is burnt out and distracted, the worst thing that happens is you walk out of there with a tortilla, instead of cheese wrapped in a tortiar. But the mistakes that nurses can make are much more serious. And this is something that should scare even the anti-vaxes out there. Like you might think you'll never get sick from COVID, but don't forget, selfish pricks can end up in the hospital for lots of reasons. I mean, what if you bust your larynx from screaming at a waiter.

Now you're in the hospital, and your voice is too hoarse to tell the burnt-out nurse that they accidentally hooked up your IV to a bag of pee. No, wait. That's my pee. I know. Now, look, the good news is, whether you're someone who cares about nurses, or you're just someone who doesn't want to die from a bad paper cut. There is something that you can do to show your gratitude to the nurses

and make their lives less miserable. Take a look. Nurses need our help now more than ever, and it's time for us all to do our part. I agree. That's why I'm going to start clapping again every night at 7. No, nurses don't want that. They want you to get vaccinated. Oh, I'm still gathering research. Shut up and go get vaccinated. Okay, all right. I'm supporting our nurses with Facebook posts. Did you get the vaccine? Yeah, I will. I just been too busy to schedule it, you know. Why not schedule it now?

Sure. Uh, okay. Go ahead. I'll watch. Nurses need muffins. Get vaccinated! Okay, I'm going. Drop the damn muffins.

Go up the door. Let's go. Okay, I'm going. So. Drop the damn muffins, go up the door, let's go. So, come on America, let's do our part. Do our part means get vaccinated. Just one time, are you fucking kidding me? All right, fair enough. All right, when we come back, we'll look at the big winners of the COVID pandemic.

Stick around. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at, that's what's incredible.

I'm Seth Done of CBS News, listened to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Welcome back to the Daily Show. As you know, last night was the 73rd annual Emmy Awards, aka Television's Birthday Party. And I was actually at the ceremony in Los Angeles just last night. But as fun as the Emmys are, I'm even more excited about the second annual Pandemy Awards. You see, last year at this time, we thought it would be fun to honor some of the most outstanding performances of the coronavirus pandemic. And we really blew it out because we were all like,

well, we definitely won't be doing this more than once. I mean, it's not like COVID will still be a thing in September 2021. Remember when we had hope? You guys remember that? Ha ha ha ha! So, yeah, the pandemies are back. And once again, you guys at home are going to be voting for the winners. So focus. We've got 10 categories this year, and they're all extremely competitive. For instance, there were a lot of people who compared President Biden's anti-COVID efforts to various events from the past. But these nominees for Best Historical Adaptation, well, they rarely, rarely reached for the stars. The nominees for Best historical adaptation are,

Tucker Carlson, Jim Crow. Medical Jim Crow has come to America. If we still had water fountains, the unvaccinated would have separate ones. Steve Hilton, apartheid. Fouchy wants mask apartheid in our schools. Candice Owens, segregation. We have an administration that is reintroducing segregation again in this country under

the guise of medical safety. Marjorie Taylor Green, Nazi Germany. You know, we can look back in a time in history where people were told to wear a gold star and they were definitely treated like second class citizens so much so that they were put in trains and taken to gas chambers in Nazi Germany and this is exactly the type of abuse that Nancy Pelosi is talking about. That's a tough category. I mean as a South African I think the apartheid I think the apartheid comparison was easily the best you know like

being forced to wear masks is a lot like apartheid. We all remember how Nelson Mandela said, I refuse to wear a face diaper like some lip-todd cuck. Famous words, man. Because that's what apartheid was, you know? If you didn't choose to be white, then you were oppressed, and this is the exact same thing. And you know, one of the reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons reasons the reasons the exact same thing. And you know, one of the reasons I love this category so much is that all of these people

are making wild historical analogies when there's already an actual history of pandemics and vaccine mandates. Like, they could be comparing it to today. They don't need to make up a new thing. You know, it's like if tomorrow an enormous passenger ship crashed into an iceberg, and then some pundit p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p. And the the their their their their their their their their. And their. And their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and there's their, and there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's, there's there's there's there's there's, there's there's there's there's, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is like th. the is like th. the is like the, the, the is like the, thi is like thi, there's like there was like, I'll tell you what, this is exactly like the Japanese internment camps. Or it's like the movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio? What?

Revenant? Yeah, I guess. It's like a bear attack, too, I guess. Now, it's always exciting to cheer on the politicians and the pundits, but at the pandemies, some of the highlights of the show-stopping turns from people who aren't famous. The nominees for Outstanding Dramatic Performance by a concerned citizen are, Vaccine made me magnetic. Explain to me why the key sticks to me. Yeah, so if somebody could explain this, it would be great.

Blacklight 2. Guess what else? You take a black light flashlight and shine in your vase and you're now going to glow in the black light.. th. th. th. th.0s. Guess what else? You take a black light flashlight and shine in on your vase and you're now going to glow in the black light because guess what? You're no longer human. You're 2.0 and we are afraid of you. Bio weapon jab. This is a pandemic. Fake virus. Bioweapon jab. Trump won. Good guys bad things. There's hell coming and I'm not doing it to threaten anybody. But there's a lot of good guys out there ready to do bad things soon. Hale Fouchy. I will be asked how many vaccines have you had? Have you been a good little Nazi? Hail Fouchy! Haleouchy! Hail Bouchy! Okay, I want that guy to win.

Yeah, just because of how incredible his acceptance speech will be. I want to thank so many people! Hail my agent Ari Gold! Hail my whole team at CAA! Hail my wife and kids! I love you guys! Go to bed! Don't you play that music for me.

I'll kill you. I'll kill you. Stop that music right now. I'll kill you. Although, I do think the black light lady also deserves an award too. I mean, just for everything that she's been through, you know. Pandemic aside, that's somebody who has accidentally seen a lot of sperm. Now, as exciting as this category is, it's one thing to turn in an epic performance at a public hearing.

I mean, that's basically like being on stage with a script. What I really admire is people who can think on their feet and improvise a scene where you don't expect one, like these nominees for Best Mile High Meltdown. The nominees for Best Mile High Meltdown. The nominees for Best Mile High Meltdown are, You're a liar. You are a liar. A Southwest flight attendant telling this passenger to get off the plane after apparently refusing to wear her mask.

The flight attendant even does a dance. This is tyranny. People do you stand up. This is tyranny. People do you stand up? This is tyranny and this is wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. If we don't stand up, it's only going to get worse. You guys fucking suck.

My parents are more the fucking gallon. Hey! Hey! Yes! God damn God! Hey! Hey! Hey! No! Chip! Get him out! He's got it!

Hott He's got to help! Hoss! Hoss! Hoh! Ha! Oh, okay. Don't find it. Really? One fucking warning.

One fucking sucking warning. One warning. One fucking tu'rowning warning. You gave me one fucking sucking warning. One warning. Oh, oh. You turn around. See why you're the woman you're in the one?

Woo! Ooh, okay, I know the guy eating his mask seems like a shoe-in, but you never know. You know, maybe that was just a better meal option than those dry-ass plain meals. And I do hope whoever wins this award offers to share the award with the one person in particular who helped them all achieve this honor. The bartender at Terminal 4, although they probably won't be able to accept the award in person since they're all on the no-fly list now, which is why this category is proudly brought to you by Hertz Rent-A-Car. Hertz, at least the only person going insane will be you. Anyway, that's just a preview of the awards that you can vote on right now.

All you have to do is go to Pandemi Awards.com to watch all the videos and vote for your favorites. And then, follow us online to find out who wins. I'm just kidding. We all lose. We all lose. We all lose. All right, when we come back, Olympic superstar Ali Reisman will talk to me about her documentary that's shaken gymnastics to its core, so don't go away. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been

given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is a gymnast and a six-time Olympic medalist, Ali Reismen. She's here to talk about shining a light on sexual abuse and advocating for survivors

in her new documentary special, Darkness to Light. Welcome to the Daily Show. Hi, how are you? Thanks for having me. I'm doing fantastic. Thank you so much for being on. Most people who know you, you know, whether they know you from being an Olympic champion or whether they know you from being like the face of Team USA,

know you because you evoke a positive emotion in them. They know you because we've cheered for you, we've ceded to you, we've celebrated your victories, and we've been there when things have been tough. But over the past few years, some of the tough has been tougher than it has to be for any human being out there. You know, recently we saw yourself and your teammates testifying in front of Congress, talking about one of the most harrowing stories in American gymnastics history and an abuse case that really really really really really really really really really really really that really th, that really, th, and th, th, and th, th, and th, th, and th, th, and th, thi, and thus, thi, thus, thus, thi, thus, thus, thus, thus, and thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the th.............................. And, the, the, the the the the the the the th, th, th, the th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thr-auuuuui. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomuuu. the tha, tha to the point that it got to. You have a special that is talking about this where you delve into the subject and I know

it's really sensitive. So let's start with that. As a survivor, as somebody who is dealing with this story every single day, were you not afraid that as Ali Riceman you would trigger yourself and be in a place where as a person you might bring up so many of the issues that you've been trying to work on since the ordeal? You know, when I first shared my story publicly, I never imagined all the support that I would get and I'm continually blown away by the support that myself and my teammates and fellow survivors, the support that we get, and I want people to know how much that has personally helped me and it helps me get out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out of the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi.a, thi.a.a.a.a.a.augh, to, toea, toea, thea, thi.a.a, thi.i.i. And, out of bed on the toughest days. What people, what I didn't realize when I first came forward is

like I hadn't processed it on my own. So I think what I am realizing over the last few years is I'm dealing with the abuse personally but also publicly at the same time so I never thought about that because everything kind of happens so thi thi fast and it was more of a decision of I can't sit back and I can't sit back and watch these organizations do nothing. So I think the way that I can compare it to is sometimes it feels like an open moon that won't heal. And you know what people also don't often realize is abuse isn't something that you just suffer in the moment. It unfortunately can carry on with you for a really long time. And the way a survivor heals is linked to how their abuse is handled. And so the power of one adult supporting a survivor and doing the right thing is so

important. And so I think our case has been so public. And while I'm so grateful for the support that we have from people all over the world, it's incredible, the organizations and people in positions of power continue to cover it up, gaslight us, and treat us so horribly. So I am trying now in my everyday moments to focus on the support that I feel from strangers and people in my family because I know that most survivors don't get the support so I do feel very lucky. When you were making this the special you had to

relive a lot of your trauma, you had to speak to fellow survivors and I mean talk through some of the worst experiences that they had from your perspective alone what do you think justice looks like what do you think the changes need to be in order for people to feel more protected in a world that clearly hasn't protected them for so long? Yeah, it was really interesting. So before I filmed the show Darkness to Light with Lifetime, I used to think that justice to me was accountability, and I still think that it does in some capacity, And I also think that it means that we need to be looking at a full and independent investigation of the FBI, USA Gymnastics in the United States Olympic and Paralympic Committee

and looking at the interplay among all three organizations, going back decades, nobody's off limits, nothing's off limits, access to text messages, data, everything and anything. So we understand who knew what when, and there's no guess. And th. And th. the th. the the their their their their their their thi thi their their their their thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin access to text messages, data, everything and anything. So we understand who knew what when and there's no guesswork or no speculation. In my opinion, that's the only way we can believe in a safer future. But there is, when I was filming the show, we had a bunch of different survivors on, and one of the survivors had mentioned that to her, justice meant that it never happened. And that is something that has stuck with me that is really, the the the the the the the the the the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, and there's there's there's there's their, there's there's there's, and, and, and, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's, and there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to her, justice meant that it never happened. And that is something that has stuck with me that is really, really has stuck with me. And I've thought a lot about, and you know, it was, it was not surprising, unfortunately, with the world that we live in, where, you know, my abuser is in jail, but there were many survivors that I met with that didn't feel safe going to law enforcement and so it was I am grateful that they gave me the time to share their stories with me and to

hear everyone's different perspective on what justice meant to them was really eye-opening to me and has really actually changed the way that I view justice because I recognize that it's such a privilege that my abuser is in jail and just even the fact that I felt comfortable going to law enforcement. I know so many other survivors don't have that and I don't want to live in a world like that. For yourself, as an individual, as Ali Reisman, what do you do that helps you heal? Like where have you found your healing comes from? Beyond just burying it, beyond trying to forget about it,

how do you work on healing those wounds? I've thought about this a lot, and you know, I think about this in the sense of, for example, with the last couple of days, if Maggie, Michaela or Simone came to me and said that they were struggling, I would listen to them, I would try to be a good friend to them, I would tell them that however they feel is valid and take time for themselves. Today, for example, before this interview I was having a little bit of a tougher day since I had, since I testified, and I was starting to be a little bit hard on myself because I thinn't the the the thi. thi. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thin, I thin, I thin, I th, I th, I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thee, the, the, the, toda, toda, toda, toda, toda, toda, toda, today, today, today, the, the, the, be our own biggest critics and I thought to myself if Simone was calling me right now I would be nicer to her than I'm being to myself and so I think the biggest thing in my healing is recognizing I need to have self-compassion to be nice to myself and coming from

the sport of gymnastics where it's all about trying to be perfect that's hard for me to do and to be kind to myself. And, you know, even when I do interviews, I watch them back and I'm hard on myself if I feel like I didn't say the right thing because I know that so many survivors don't have the platform that I have and I take that very seriously. So the biggest thing for me has been being nice to myself and treat my treat my thi myself the way that I would treat a loved one or someone that I care about, but it's definitely something that I work on and it's a struggle sometimes. Well, I'll tell you this much, you inspire everyone who's been through a similar circumstance and I think you inspire the rest of us to try and make the world a little bit better and to hopefully not as be as hard on ourselves as we live our daily lives. So, Ali, thank, thank, thank, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I I I I I I I I I I I'll, I I I I I I I I I'll, I'll, I I I I I'll, I'll, I'll, I I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, tote, totally, totally, tell-a, tell-a, tell-a, telle. tell-a, tell-a, tell-a, thank you so much for taking the time. Thank you for, I think, you know, creating a special that's really going to resonate with a lot of people and hopefully

this won't be something that happens to so many others out there. Thank you so much of the time, Ali. Thank you. Don't forget, Ali Reisman, Darkness to Light premiered September September 24th on Lifetime. the lifetime. We're going to th th th to to to. Off to this. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at, that's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News, listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever

you get your podcasts. Well that's our show for tonight, but before we go, the Daily Show is launching a new merch collection which is inspired by our segment, If you don't know, now you know and a hundred percent of Viacom CBS proceeds will be donated to 826 National the largest youth writing network in the country that sets up underserved students for success with the power of writing so if you want to support 826 National and look fresh at the same time then all you have to do is scan the QR code below or you can head to the link time, then all you have to do is scan the QR code below, or you can head to the link below.

Until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember, if you're arrested for murder, just say that you thought the person was a lanternfly. Watch the Daily Show, Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.

Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.