The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Irons vs. Steamers | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: August 26, 2023

“Irons got those settings on them. They got nylon, they got silk, they got cotton, they got polyester. All right? You can adjust the knob.” - Josh Johnson   “A steamer, pour some water in that bitch, and let the steam do the walking. Okay? You let the steam calm through them wrinkles. Let the steam knock it out.” - Dulcé Sloan   It’s irons vs. steamers this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.   Original air date: October 6, 2022See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You're listening to Hold Up. This is the show where we have big ideas and conversations about little things, you know, we get really intense, but it's about stuff that doesn't really matter. We're not talking about war, we're not talking about famine, we're talking about things that, you know, irk us. And we usually land on opposite sides of each other. Today, we're going to be talking about irons versus steamers. I'm joined by my co-host Dulce Sloan.

What's up, niggin? And go ahead and tell the people, tell the people where you land and why and how you came to your conclusion. You know what, you always ask me first. I think you should tell the people where you the people where you... the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their theirs theirs theirs.eonsearsearsearsearsearsearsearsearsearsearsearseonsearsears.earsears.earsears. You know what you always ask me first I think you Should tell the people where you Land because I feel like you wait to hear all my arguments on my side. Now I feel deep in my hort And then you're like, let me tell you all the ways That you are wrong.

And first of all, I'm like that energy. Second of all, I think it allows you to start calculating and contemplating all of the counterpoints and arguments to my beautifully made and well executed thoughts feelings and facts so you go first shit alright okay you know I thought I was being a gentleman this whole time but yeah no no no way I get it I see I hear you it was gentlemen but it's also strategy it's strategy it's strategy so I'm gonna go ahead and go with irons. As you would, as you would.

Wow, what does that even mean? Gone! Okay, so I'm gonna go with irons because to me, irons are classic and we got it right the first time. You know? Ions, first of all, they know what they're doing with the settings. Okay. They know what they're doing with the settings. Okay? Iron's got those settings on them.

They got nylon, they got silk, they got cotton, they got polyester. All right? You can adjust the knob. You can choose to spray, or you can choose to really push the steam through. And that's one of the reasons why I don't really think that the steamers come incorrect because iron's already steamed. They have a setting. So what you basically did was you were, you know, you were at a quiz nose thinking that, wow,

this is a great fast food sandwich. Meanwhile, Subway was like, we've been toasting. So that your whole business model was wrapped up in a thing that we do on the side. And honestly, that's how I feel about irons. Irons were already steaming, pressing, doing all of the stuff they needed to do to get you wrinkle free. But then steamers come out of nowhere being like, we're the cool, hip, young, new thing

that doesn't even really do as much as our predecessor. Okay one shout out to Quiznos way way than a subway I don't know what happened to him I don't know who didn't send the email I don't know what had to occur for that business to go the way that it did. Because it was actually pretty good. I of course went steamers because I am a professional and... Okay. We have to talk about how dangerous an iron is, right? People have left irons on, burned down homes, burned people. Listen, you saw the episode of Good Times where Penny's mother came after her with

that hot iron, okay? We all have been, just, hiss, his, we've all have burns, marks on us from using irons. I remember, this kid my neighborhood, listen, I'll tell you what he said. Hot iron in his house, he's a kid, he's walking through, bumps into the ironing board. There's a scar on his arm where it is a triangle of the ironing, of the iron, it's the triangle and then like three of the holes right mm-hmm it's on the young man's arm you said he bumped into the iron that's none of my business it long past okay I don't think CPS was coming all right

we've all melted a piece of clothing I was trying to, because there are multiple settings, right? Yeah. But I've had polyester, it were my favorite pair of pants, right? Trying to get to work, they were wrinkled. I work with a bunch of black people, so you know you can't come to work with wrinkled, when you work with black people, right?

Clothes can't be wrinkled, you can't be wrinkled, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, thled, thled, thled, thled, thled, thled,'s so many things. We're late to work to make sure we look good enough for each other, no matter where we work. You could be in an office, you be in a McDonald's. Doesn't matter. We require each other to reach a certain level of standard, right? Polyester pants. Polyester set it. Melted the fuck out of these pants. thethese pants. Favorite pair of pants. Have a little fake bill that's out to them. It's 2003. I'm living my best life, right?

Got my fun little stretch of pants. They're good for work. They're good for going to the club. You're good for going out for my friends. You wear them on a date. And then, I close to a stove. Crumbled. Crumbled. You understand? You ever been cooking? You had like your grocery bag still close to the... Gone? I thrown. I thrown. I thrown cried oh I love them fucking pants I look good in them pants too everything was hitting pop and popping that thing was stagging the cakes was caking and no the iron

the iron tiombite iron also that steam setting on an iron what it does is it shoots water all over your clothes and then you have to have the knowledge and the know how and the foresight to be able to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the to be the to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. teat. teat. teateat. tea. teateat. teat. teat. teat. theat thea. theat theat to have the knowledge and the know-how and the foresight to be able to get that water mark off the clothes because sometimes that water, the big drop in the water mark on your clothes. So now you're trying to go nice at your business meeting and now you're just full of splotches. So steamers for me, one, I said because if I'm a professional, right, they don't have irons on set. There's no irons and costume shops, you know, there's like an iron, like it's, I'm saying this. Sometimes there's an iron costume shop, right? Mm-hmm. But there's always a steamer on set. They make portable steamers, okay?

Delive, listen, there's no hot plate. What it's off, it's off. It's knocking them wrinkles out. You can do it on various fabrics, okay? What I'm saying is that, because you can like like say you want to, some people iron curtains. Only iron curtain I know is in Soviet Union. I, I mean, I don't, that seems like a lot of works to me. But you can use them, it's a lot quicker than ironing. Also you can iron creases into clothes. The setting sometimes is too high, too low.

There's a lot of trial and error on an outfit with the iron. And usually, the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, th, their, th, th, thion, thion, thion, thiiolk, thiolk, thiolk, thirty, their, their, thiole, thirty, their o'er, only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only, thiol, thiolk, thiolk, thiolk, thiolk, thiolk, thian, thian, thianed, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiolk, thiolk, thiolk, thirtyyy's thirty, thirty, thirty, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomuuuooomoom. than, than, too high, too low. There's a lot of trial and error on an outfit with the iron. And usually when you're using an iron, you're probably in a hurry. You're gonna fuck something up. A steamer, pour some water in that bitch, and let the steam do the walking. Okay? You let the steam come through them wrinkles. Let the steam knock it out. You just lift it up. Shush shoes

Shoot because I worked it. I worked in a costume shop before using a costume shop before every TV show movie or whatever they ain't got no iron baby When they're out here for these fashion weeks. It's not an iron baby. It's a steamer and iron is archaic technology. You understand Irons is from the past once we got them settings you put some stink. That's stink. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's it. That's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's th. That's it's th. That's the the st the st the st the stin their their their their their thin that's their their their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I c. I c. I'll their their th. I c. I'll their their th. I'sons is from the past. Once we got them settings, you put some stink, that's it. There's no new irons. There's no new iarns. There's no new shapes. Ain't nobody doing nothing new irons. Okay? What? Okay, look, first of all, the iron is the workman's tool for getting those clothes nice and crisp okay All right I already see it already see the doubt already see the disrespect I mean you're not a workman so I don't know how you know is they tool you I mean you're currently in detention. I don't know what work in you talk about all right look first of all but don't don't don't come at me for things that are not irons all you know you know you're they're they're I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're currently they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the the the the the the ttttttttttttttttttttttoo tttttttttttttttoo they're they're they're they're they're they're they're know what work and you talk about. Okay, all right, look, first of all, but don't, don't, don't come at me

for things that are not irons, all right? You know you in the basement of a high school right now. Don't, don't, don't coke me for things that have nothing to do with the topic. I hear you, I hear you, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just want you, I just want you, I just want you, I just want you, I just want you, I just want th, I just wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna know, I th, I th th th th th th th th th know know know know know know know know know th You out here like a kidnap! Josh, blink twice. Blink twice. Blink twice if you're safe, Josh. Do you have a window?

Fresh air? Can you see outside? What do you see? What do you see? Ha ha ha? Go ahead. Go ahead. Ha ha ha ha. Work with the tool.

Right. So, irons. So, irons. You work at office from home. Look, all right, work with us too. Irons. Okay. They may not be in every

costume house but they're in every hotel all right the people use irons okay the steamer it is a tool of the thespian and of Hollywood but the iron is a tool of the people Okay, so you don't think they sell steamers to people They sell them, but we were bringing up where they're in everything of and I'm telling you yes They're in every costume house, but they're but irons are in every hotel and they have been for a long time now Now when it comes to steamers doing things wrong there are steamers that only take specific things so?????? their th, th, th, th, their th. their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their they's their's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their they're they're st. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're st. st. st. st. st. st. time. Now when it comes to steamers doing things wrong, there are steamers that only take specific things. So there are steamers that only take distilled water. All right? When you don't put that in there and you just put water from the tap because you're like, oh, I just got steam something real quick, whatever. There is a residue you can get because it's getting caked up within the steamer.

Anyone with a steamer who's had this issue, this is what it is by the way. If you have a steamer and you've ever had this problem, it's because your steamer in fine print, probably if they told you in regular letters you wouldn't have bought it, your steamer in fine print only takes distilled water. All right? And when you don't put that on there, that's why sometimes it's not consistent with the push of the steam and all the holes and why sometimes there's like a little white dot residue sort of thing on the overall steamer when you get done.

You can get that on an iron as well. You can get it on iron, but irons were made for dirty water. You can even iron with water from Flint. You can even iron with that lead water if you want it to. Listen, all I'm saying is that I think we went over to the steamer. One, because it's faster. You hang up to. You hang up.think we went over to the steamer. One, because it's faster. You hang up your shirt, okay? A pair of pants, your gown, all right?

You run that. Now, mind you, I have had to use an iron as a steamer. Had to do it on a... Monday. because he went to the Emmys and you were there as well and we hung out and I saw my friend lace Lerby look her up she is an amazing comic she's just on America's Got Talent she's getting ready her dress needs to get ironed, right? So what did I saw I'm laying it on the bed. I lay it on the bed Going over it and there's too many there's too many panels. Okay

There's too many panels. I'm losing track of where I am also if you iron something on a bed Because there was an ironed, but I don't remember seeing an ironing board. Okay. So when you iron something on a bed if you've got one of those comforters with the divisions in it then it'll create like lines and whatever you're ironing. So it's taken forever what did I do? I went and put some water in the iron, hung it up, was done in three minutes. Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, chow, gown the house down. Ready for these enemies, okay? Ready for these parties.

All the wrinkles. They're gone, okay? They fly away. Why? Because when I lifted it up and let that steam hit it, when I let the power of hot water, instead of a hot plate, get at them wrinkles. Okay. So I understand. And I did see the dress and it did look great. But, um, from what I'm hearing, we're saying the same thing. We're both saying that irons already do what steamers claim to do. And they've been doing it. And steamers came out of nowhere

being like, I'm special, I'm different, but they weren't. I have, you have to buy an iron with a steamer function. Like I have a small iron for like crafting. Mm-hmm. There's no steam function on that iron. Mm-hmm. I'd have that big steam, like that, yeah, the button. I'd have that big steam button.

My little iron, you can put water in it. But it doesn't hit you with the same, chup, chup, chup, chup. the the the chup, the steam, the steam, the steam, the steam, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like't hit you with the same trube-chup-chup-chup-chup-chuber, right? So I'm not saying that there were there wasn't a steam function in the iron. I'm saying that they put steam functions in an iron because we had steamers and people like, hey, let's add this into the iron because sometimes the iron ain't giving us what we need. Ooh. So they added the steam. First of all I don't think that that is is correct at all. I don't know the timeline on that. Look it up. I mean I guess I can look it up but I just feel like the iron was added with steam and then someone made a steamer We there's a whole internet Yeah, I mean we can look it up right now

This has to happen because What is it what came first the iron of the steamer is that the question? No, no, no just what came first the steamer or the steam function on an iron because the tions are way throwns? the irons are way thiii thiiii's the the the the the th i i i i i i i i i i i i i is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toeeeeean's toean's the too the thee thin. thean's the. thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir iron's thir iron's thir iron's thir iron's the the their iron's their iron's iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron iron. thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir iron iron iron iron iron iron iron have irons, you put them in fucking fires. Yeah. I remember seeing those old school irons where you're like, you gotta wrap a rag around it. Because I don't remember seeing them going, but why did you make the whole thing metal? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Why did you make the handle metal? Why is the handle metal? Like, this let you know that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to they're they're to to to to to to to they to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they're they're they they're they're they they they they they're they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like they're they're like to to to to to to to to to to to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they knew that women were going to use this because somebody didn't give a fuck, right? Because it was like, yeah, I could see that. They put wooden handles on like, it's like pots. It's like every time I see like a lot of the designs for stuff, I'm like, we were putting wooden handles on things for a long time.

Mm-hmm. Well, like, kettles, pots and stuff like, I'm. It. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like sometimes it's just like men are mean. While you're looking it up, I'll make the case because you brought it up as a detriment. I would actually say it's potentially a plus, all right? You brought up the dangerous side of irons, all right? As if it was a negative, I'm saying, let's lean into the danger for a second. All right? It's not, it's not a con. It's a pro. There's a lot of Americans that don't want to have a gun in their house. All right?

But if you got an intruder, what's you hitting them with? A steamer or an iron? All right? Are you, if you had a robber coming your house and you don't have anything weaponized to defend yourself, but you got an iron. Now you got a chance. If it's hot. No, no, it doesn't have to be hot. That's just a bunch of metal waiting to hit somebody in the head.

Depended on the size, there's some of these irons, I'm just like this iron is too big. Mm-hmm. Not too big to fight. Now my iron is only no one's afraid. Yeah, it all depends on the size of your iron. Yeah, but you see steamers are too ergonomically built, all right? They're not going to do the same damage as a big clunky iron waiting to just crack somebody across the face. The first commercially available electric steam iron was introduced in 1926 by New York dry drying and cleaning, not dry cleaning, drying and cleaning. Eldic but was not a commercial success. The patent for an electric steam iron and dampener was issued in Chicago 1934.

You know, we should really start researching this shit before we actually get on the pocket. Ha ha ha ha ha. I mean, it's not really about being factual, it's about being right. That's true. Ha ha ha ha. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter.

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Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

Can you put in a crease with a steamer? Well this is a thing about a steamer as well. Some steamers come with that little handheld casing. Have you seen this? So basically when you open the steamer, the package of the steamer comes in, like the little bag flattens out. And that bag is very, very thick. So that way you can run the steamer along the clothes but also press your hand against the steamer through the bag without burning yourself. Have you seen this? Well I did just see again because I

was like can a steamer make a crease and it says if you wear pleaded pants you can use a theemer instead of crease just lay the garb a flat service and move the plate down the edge of the crease as you would with an iron. And then men's health. Dot com. Why every man should own a clothes steamer. Every man. All the men's health. You're really gonna sit here and listen to men's health. Men's health seems to be the most concerned about you, n-n-guess. Look, men's health, they have their good days, they have their bad days. I've had some good days. I hear you. Because women's health is the same thing.

Sometimes it's like, you know what, thank you for teaching me about penipaas. And the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next thii, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is, th is, th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. They's the. They's the day it's like oh all the flat tummy teas bitch all of this is just a laxative how dare you so yeah I see what you're saying but I know that men don't have to worry about flat tummy teas no no some reason my stomach supposed to be flat but these niggers out here looking like old stoves and I'm supposed to be impressed. They call them pot belly stoves for a reason. What came first? What came first? The pot belly or the stove? Okay.

Hey. Eh. Heyhah. So, do you think then, that the, what I'm talking about with the casing, with the steamer, with the hand-held thing, where you can really hold it and press it? I have no idea what you're on. So, okay. That's just, to me, that's just knock off iron and I've seen it with a couple of models.

But that's fine, that's fine. I understand that you love your steamer. I understand has done you right. It's just done me dirty in the past, okay? As an iron has to say someone who has ironed. I, the ironed, th, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is, th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is that, is, is thin, is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is th is th is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin, that's thin, that's thin, thin, th dirty in the past, I can say as someone who has had ironed, not I had to, says someone who has ironed lots of clothes. I choose not to do it. Also, a lot of my clothes, very flammable, very meltable. I'm not dealing with a lot of natural fabrics all the time. So I don't always iron because I can't. A lot of those clothes that are very

flammable, you don't need to iron them anyway. Like all these leggings I got, you need to iron them leggings. Once you put a leg in it, ain't no wrinkles. Because it's on this body, right? Ain't gonna... Yes, the body is the iron. I got you. Right, the body is the iron, okay? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Body, aughty, iron. It's all I'm saying. Mm-hmm. Now, how do you say iron? Um, iron?

That's the only way you say it? Yeah, yeah, I did know a kid that he was very confusing. He would always, first of all, he talked very fast, and he would always call in iron and earn. And so there was one time where he was talking about how his mom was mad because he broke the urn. And we were like, yeah, I mean, it's an urn. You've got somebody's ashes all over your phone. Like we, like, like a fucking sitcom. Yeah, because we didn't understand him for the longest time. It took us like a good eight to 10 minutes of him trying to explain,

because he also can't say it any other way. So he's like, no, it's not an earn. Right. And we're like, that's the same word that you're saying. My mom is, my mom, uh friend when we lived in Miami and they were country and she went over there one time she went over their house without me and my brother and my brother to their youngest son he said he said he came to my mom and he goes where your churn and my mother said excuse me to get a churn and my mother said I'm so sorry and he said you churned my mother said to where my children he said where my children they said they they they they they they they were they were they were they were my my my children? they were they were they were they were my children? they were they were my children? they were they were they were my children? they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were were were they were were were they were were they were were were they were were they were they were were were they were they were were were were they were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were their to their their their their ch churn. their their their their churned their their their churned their their their their their their their their their's like your churn. And my mother said, I'm so sorry. And he said, yo chirin' ran. And my mother said, where are my children? He said, yeah, you're churrin. And my mother said, they're not with me. There's definitely, especially in your

mom's mind, I'm sure that after the first one, like where your churn, it's like I get my butter at the store. Yeah, I mean, like, if somebody just comes at you completely, you don't know what they're safe and try to make sense of it. One of my favorite instances of this happening was on to catch a predator. All right. On to catch a predator, this dude shows up Chris Hanson got him you know got him like like talking about and then this dude is like a little wannabe you know Eminem right so he's already got the the cap he's got like all

the stuff and you know Chris Hansen starts asking him questions like you know like why were you talking to a young teenager on the on the internet all stuff like that all the Chris Hansen does and th this th-you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And tok. tok. tok. tok. tok. tok. I tok. I tok. I tok. I tok. I tok. I tok. I tok. I tok. I he. you talking to a young teenager on the on the internet all the stuff like that all the Chris Hanson stuff that Chris Hanson does? And then this guy goes, uh, I he pulls his hat down and he's like, I don't really want to be on TV right now, you feel me? And like, so, so he does that, which is already like, oh man, said this guy to jail now for multiple things., like, like, like, like, th th th th thinks... And, thinks. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, which is already like, oh man, said this guy to jail now for multiple things. Yes. And so, so then as he's saying, I really want to be on tea right now, you feel me? Chris Hanson completely misunderstanding him, but without missing a beat goes, yes, we are filming. No, that's not. You feel me? No, you know, that's not what happened. You feel me?

Not, I'm saying. All of those things. There was always like jokes in like the 90s of 2000s and somebody were like, you feel me? You feel me? Like, thi, I saw something some dude. But like you feel me? And this guy was like, I don't want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that's that's that that that's that's that's that. You that. You that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to me to me to me to me to me to me? Like, no, dude, I'm not. I think I saw something some dude was like, you feel me? This guy was like, I don't want to touch you.

And I've laughed so hard. I love so, I don't want to tou. I saw this thread on, I think there's a, embracing black culture. I don't have you got, it's funny because my friend, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've th. th. that, I've that, I've that, I've like, I'veread, I think there's an embracing black culture. I don't know if you go to, it's funny because my friend Lace was like, she said, she said, I've learned so much on embracing black culture and I was like, cool. She said, the thing that was crazy was like, bleach when washing dishes? I was like, yeah, I don't do it because I like the smell of bleach and it makes your hands weird. I also don't do it because I washed my dishes soon enough that bleach never comes into the conversation.

But some people just do it all the time. When I found out there were people that do it all the time, I was genuinely blown away. I was like it just like it, the, the food just happened. I hear you. But some people are like clean is clean. But it's like I don't want bleach on my dishes because my dishes smell like bleach. And I hate to smell bleach. Um, but it was this whole threat of just like, things that black people will say that are

like hype people up and people misunderstanding it. So those girls like, it's like, I was at work and one of my Conan workers came in and like a new outfit and they looked nice and she's like oh I'm scared to you and he was like but why I didn't do anything. So just oh so it's like but why are you scared I'm what did? What did what did I do or you know somebody else it brought something for like a pot look like oh you put your foot in this was like oh why would I put my foot it that's disgusting and it's like what it? what it? what it? what it? what it? what it? what it? what it's like? what it's like? what it's like? what it's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like? What's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, what's like, what th. What's like, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did, what did? I'd th? I'd th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's like, th. I'm like, th. I'm like, th. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, th. I's like somebody else it brought something for like a pot look like oh you put your foot in this it's like oh why would I put my foot it that's disgusting and it's like you there's there has to be a point where you realize that's not what we're saying like oh my favorite is when white comics go to black rooms and have a good set and somebody be like man you're like they're like well no no no no no no no no no no no no they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th they they they they're they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they you stupid, isn't there less like, well, I think my comedy, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's giving you a compliment, just say thank you.

Man, you're stupid. I, I thought that I was pretty insightful up there. And, uh, when we're a crafted jokes and, um, whenever black people in a group, we're all laughing. Like you've seen Derek run down the street. Mm-hmm. Derek Gaines, great comedian, the great boy on Instagram. One of the white comics came over, he's like, I just want to tell a joke and all you guys run away, and then come back.

He said, that's all I want. I just want to be able to come over to the group and say something, and say something, and say something, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, I, th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, thi, they, thi, thi, thi, they, they, thi. they. they. they. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, to the group and say something and all the other run away. I have always wondered what it is because I saw something that's like, it's because of slavery. And I was like, come on, dog, really? Everything can't because everything because I'm not because we're not a lot to have fun even though. Is it, I don't, I mean, I can't say I don't know. But it's like, because we weren't allowed to laugh because we're not allowed to have fun even though we're just like already working for free bro already murdering us already stole us you could at least let us fucking laugh right because I don't remember the day that I learned that with somebody said something to run away. Because it's a deep feeling where you're just like I have to flee like you don't know why I don't want to be near the person that said that right now. Right even. I the the the their their their their their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't to th. Yeah. I don't to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. I th. I th. I to th. I to to the the the th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the tell. the tell. tell. the tell. the the tell. the the tell. the the the the the the the the the the the the the person that said that right now. Right! Even though it's funny as shit, you're like, I gotta get away from here.

I gotta, it's very much deep in your body. Yeah, yeah. Because at some point, me, like, if we don't run, me and Dercos just start jumping up and down. Mm-hmm. But I'm trying to figure it out the seat. Man! I know I've made my mark, you know? I know I've contributed to the conversation. It's either there's the run, the melt,

or someone grabs the nearest person and they laugh making no noise. Yeah, yeah, they just... Or their whole, like if you weren't paying attention, because it's like they're grabbing each other and their mouths are open, so either they're screaming it, like they're either in a horror movie or they're laughing. Yeah, it's like when Joe Rogan sees a knockout and he just grabs everybody that's near him and just stares. That's upset because it's like, when you see somebody to do something you must just grabbed the nearest person. Just grabbing them so that they're safe from what was just said, you know,

it's a lot like the mom arm with a with a in the car. You know, where you're like, let me stick it out there. Make sure they're okay. I did that with my friend Jessica Michelle. It's a comic Mayron. The first time I ever heard May run say, I've sucked more dicks and you've had hot dinners. Me and Jessica just, it was immediate. We grabbed each other, girded our loins and they were just, it was just we were just frozen. I couldn't fuck, I could not function. I was just, did you, what the fuck?

But like you want somebody to like make you laugh like that? Like I want to, I don't know if I've ever done, I don't know if I've ever done made people laugh like that while I was on stage. I've done it in conversation. Yeah. It's, honestly, oh yeah, also shout out Mayron. Uh, yeah. It I still remember the first time I met Mayron and I was just I think I was at a Stam, New York or something just eating a salad and we were meeting we were like saying our hellos and everything and he's like are you? Are you out late eating a salad? I was like yeah, and he was like come through black excellence. Come through black excellence yes mama. I love Mayron. I remember being at a diner late in the city and I know it was like fucking four in the morning.

Mm-hmm. And I saw some young white woman eating a salad. And I was like, bitch, this ain't salad time. These white women can't get no breaks, bro. She knows she wanted to be. This ain't salad time. He eating a whole fucking burger, fries, all the trimmings, and you over there were just a bowl of lettuce and I think she put like oil and vinegar on it.

I was like, you're already thin. What you're trying to prove? Mmm. Eat the fries. It's okay. You gonna run them off in the morning? It's all right. But you don't, I'm too, I'm too, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, I, the, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th. I was, th. I was, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. fries. It's okay. Mm-hmm. You don't run them off in the morning. It's all right. But you don't, I'm too, because I was watching her eat the salad. She didn't look excited about it. That niggin' that burger? He was having great time. Enjoy. I can't believe, yeah. I don't think, I don't know if he was humming. But I can feel the hump. Her, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, the hu hu hu hu hu, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I'm, I'm th, I'm to to to to to to to to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin, I'm th. to to too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, I'm to to to to to to to th. I'm th. I don't know if he was humming, but I can feel the hump.

Her on the other hand, every poke with a fork was like, I know acting when I see it, right? Jeez. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach

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Kamela Harris is not getting a promotion, than any in recent history. Make America Great Again. Follow it all with new episodes every weekday on the NPR Politics podcast. You remember in the 90s where they kept try to tell us you could use iron and make a grilled cheese sandwich? Yeah, yeah, did you ever do that? No, my mother would have beat the brakes off me. Oh, it's funny. I know a kid that did it and he got the brakes beaten off them. See? Because no one tells you because the thing is you can't get butter off that iron. it, you need two irons. Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, I feel like you need an iron and then you need a pan that's flat enough for the iron to move around.

But by that point, you might as well just put the pan. But if you have a pan just make the grilled cheese in the pan. That's what I'm saying, yeah, I think that if you've gone all the way to like, I've flat pan and I got my iron, it's like, well, you've missed the point of cooking. Right. Ha ha ha ha ha! You know, I know they have to, I wonder if there's an iron cookbook. Because you know there's a toaster cookbook.

There's a toaster oven cookbook. You know it's probably for bachelors too. I always am confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused to to their to to their th you th you th you th you th you you you you you th you th you th you've you you you you you you you you you you th you th you've th you've th you've th you've th you've th you've th you've th you've th if you've th if you've th if you've th if you've th if you've th if you've th if if you've th if if if if if you th if if you th if if if you th if if if you th. If if you th. If if you th. If if you th. If if you've th. If if you've th. If you've th. If you've th. If you've thi thi thi thi thi thi you've gone that if you've gone you've gone that you've gone that you've got that that that that that that that that that I always am confused as we like, the whole trope were like where men are on their own, they're completely incompetent. I mean, we're not 100% wrong, because they're the ones that are telling us that. Like on sitcoms, like men by themselves are completely incompetent, but it's mostly men in writers' roles. But like, I didn't see an iron cookbook. I saw a cast iron cookbook and that's not the same thing.

You probably can't, you know what, I bet you could make broccoli. Like you could steam vegetables with a steamer. Veagreem vegetables with a steamer. If you had the right. If you are steaming vegetables with a steamer. I'm telling you right now you are broke. All right. Have you not seen people like, they're like, oh you can use a coffee maker to cook vegetables? And I'm just like. That's like, that's the type of innovation we don't need. It's innovating backwards.

It's like I specifically told Logan about a time where I can't remember who was even saying it but anyway where they were like oh you know if dish soap is also hand soap then why can't it just be body wash you know and I mean if it's body wash then is basically like conditioner and shampoo and what it's like it grew so much that I was like oh man This is like the the most insane logic I've ever That's your tomato ketchup. That's your tomato soup ketchup logic look that's different. Okay. Okay, okay? Because that was that was? that was? The that was? Okay, okay? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's? It's that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's basically the the the the the the the the the the thi the thi the the thi thi's your tomato soup ketchup logic. Look. That's different. Okay. Okay. Because that was that was me. Mm-hmm. And it's them. Yes. Yes. Now listen, you can't say that the first bubble bath you had was not Ajax. Dishwas.

Maybe. It might have been Dial. Dial. Dial have been dial. Which is worse. Dial. Dial is like... Dial will strip your DNA. Yeah. When you get done with dial, not only are you clean, you are missing. All right? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. to just no fingerprints. All right. Ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. to. the. the. the. the. the. this. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. D. the. the. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the was talking about like just to go back where we're talking about like the body wash hand soap. Mm-hmm. Dial like I was thinking about it because you said soap was self-cleaning and I was like I'll tell my mom about it and she's like he's never been in a mechanic shop. I used to date a mechanic, and a lot of time we always had used cars, and the soap at a mechanic shop

is the dirtiest piece of soap. It's always big and dirty, right? So what we've realized is that even though we have, our clear positions on irons versus steamers, neither one of us has convinced the other one to come to anywhere to their side. Yeah, you'll never take me alive. But listen, I'm not here for your child abuse appliances, is what I'm not.

It's what I'm going to say. No one's threatened to try. You can't, but I haven't seen it yet. So what I'm going to say. No one's threatened to treaten the treat. You can't, but I haven't seen it yet. So what I have seen is year after year, oh you know, of movies and somebody getting busted in the head with an iron or somebody having a hot iron on their face like fucking home alone, right? Irons have been used to cause so much damage while steamers on the other hand are knocking wrinkles out of clothes and making your broccoli delicious. Look let's be honest though

if you're in that situation if you're in dire straits Kevin McAllister it can come in through with a steamer all right he needs that iron you could have hooked it up have a steamer on high and somebody open a door get blasting in the face with steam is actually very dangerous steam is dangerous but that steam isn't hidden like that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th the th. the th. the the th. It th. It the th. It the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. It's the thi. It's the is the is th. th. th. th. the the is the. the. the. the. the. the is the is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I the is the is the is the is the is to to to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is toe is toe is the is very dangerous. Steam is dangerous but that's not that steam isn't hidden like that iron. I'm not, I'm exactly my point okay. Danger. Yeah. Danger. Danger. Danger. Safety for the person using the iron. the ir-Dange. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger. Safety for the person using the iron, you've all been burned by an iron, we've all been burned by an iron, we've always thought an iron was not on and it was on.

We've all looked for two seconds and something to catch it, caching, we've all been burned by irons, have been permanently scarred by irons. I don't know nobody with a steamer with a steamer scar. Anything truly beautiful is a little dangerous. Okay? I'm not fucking with you. Okay? Don't you? That is the most, that is the craziest thing. That was insane. That was the crazyest thing. That was insane! Oh, good. I'm worried about you and anybody that know you.

Negro, what? This man Josh is wild out here and he's screets! So, let's give it over to the listener. Yeah, let's kick it to you. What do you think irons versus steamers? kick it to you. What do you think? Irons versus steamers? What do you use more? What do you love more? Which one do you think has more utility iron?

So whatever you think, you let us know in the comments. You can let us know on social. If you're looking for us, you can find me at Josh Johnson comedy on Instagram at Josh Johnson on Twitter Josh J comedy on Facebook if you still use it and Josh Johnson comedy and tick talk and if you're looking for Dulce it's Sloane on everything because I don't want to confuse you. Um but also I do realize there's 7,000 Josh Johnson. Yeah I can't help that you know there's so many of us. I know I just know by your email with there's so many. Yeah, but you know we we appreciate you. We hope you you try to to you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the th th tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th to th to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the just know by your email that there's so many. Yeah, but you know we we appreciate you. We hope you had a great time listening and honestly We hope you have a great weekend that is pressed and cleaned no creases that you don't want and you're looking fresh in the world No sticks. No sticks. I don't even smoke weed. I don't even know where I said that. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official Survivor Podcast on Fire, and this season we are joined by Fan Favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action. Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the action Charlie I'm excited to do this together Thanks Jeff so excited to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47 Listen to on fire the official survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast