The Daily Show: Ears Edition - JD Vance Laughs Off Trump’s Jesus AI & FEMA Official Teleports to a Waffle House? | Bao Nguyen

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Ronny Chieng dives into JD Vance's ill-prepared excuse for Trump’s Jesus AI, the VP telling Pope Leo how to pope, RFK Jr. utilizing his best asset for podcasting, and Trump saying he’ll “look into” FEMA head Gregg Phillips's Waffle House teleportation claims.  In this installment of In My Opinion, Nick Offerman sounds off on how Trump is injecting his self-aggrandizing jackassery into America's 250th birthday - from slapping his John Hancock onto U.S. currency to staging a UFC battle at the White House - and calls on citizens to find their own way to patriotically party down. Acclaimed filmmaker Bao Nguyen sits down with Ronny to discuss his latest documentary, "BTS: The Return." They talk about following BTS’s creative process as a fly on the wall, the big reunion after the band completed their national military service, the documentary narrative around honesty rather than facts, and the band’s vulnerable moments when living out their normal lives. --To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/dailyshow -- Stream full episodes of The Daily Show on Paramount+: https://www.paramountplus.com/shows/the-daily-show/ The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. The most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Ronnie. Shums into the beef between Trump and God. RFK launches a podcast best listen to on mute, and Nick Offerman stops by to say that America might be 250 years old, but he'd still hit it.

But first, let's kick things off with another installment of The Worst Wing. What a bunch of losers. Start with Vice President J.D. Vance. He had to come out yesterday to defend President Trump from all the woke Christians who are trying to cancel him just because he might have said, I am Jesus. Okay? Hey, get over it, snowflakes.

Where in the Trump Bible does it say you can't worship false idols? So poor J.D. Vance had to come out and explain why you don't get it. I think the president was posting a joke, and of course he took it down because he recognized that a lot of people weren't understanding his humor in that case.

Shut up! What's a joke? What's the matter? You guys don't have jokes at Jesus camp? Everyone knows Trump posted this picture to be funny, right? I did post it

and I thought it was me as a doctor. Wait, wait, what did you mean? A doctor? Okay, well, make up your mind. Is it a doctor or is it a joke? Or is it a doctor who is a joke? Like a chiropractor? I don't know.

Anyway, look, the point is, all these Christians need to get off Trump's back. Even Pope Leo is going around criticizing Trump. And Catholic, J.D. Vance, had to take him to Sunday school. I certainly think that in some cases, it would be best for the Vatican to stick to matters of morality, to stick to matters of, you know, what's going on in the Catholic Church, and let the President of United States stick to dictating American public policy. Yeah, stop getting all high and mighty, the Pope. J.D. Vance just told the Pope to shut up and dribble.

Look, it's high enough being the Pope without having this guy telling you how to do your job. I mean, think about it. The Pope has to wear white all the time and eat Italian food. I mean, it's a miracle. He isn't saying every mask covered in Marinara. But let's move on because there's a Trump administration official starting a podcast. And if you're hoping is one of the ones with a voice that does, doesn't sound like shit.

Think again. U.S. Health Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has announced he is launching a new podcast. I'm Robert F. Kennedy Jr. You're HHS Secretary. This podcast is about telling the truth, especially when it's uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable already. I can't think of anyone less suited to an audio-centric medium. Although, actually, maybe that's how they'll make money.

I mean, Draft Kings is going to pay to not have ads on it. Can't wait for his first guest, the jackhammer outside your apartment building at 6 a.m. But what's this podcast about exactly? I'm going to ask the questions and lift the taboos and expose the hypocrisy and the conflicts and the corruption. We're going to follow the evidence wherever it leads, and we're going to name the names of the forces

that obstruct the path to public health. Wow, cool. You're gonna talk about the government's problems on the podcast. That's great. And maybe after you do that, you could, I don't know, maybe send an email to yourself to f***-fix it. Because you're the government now. Remember?

That's your job. That's your job. What's episode two about? Why are government employees starting podcasts instead of working? I investigate. And finally, that's turned to. Greg Phillips, the head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery. Now, in a normal administration, we would go to the entire presidency without ever knowing

who's the head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery. But, you know, this is Trump. So instead, we get shit like this. Greg Phillips. He was on a podcast in January of last year, during which he claimed more than once that he's teleported, including one time to a Waffle House. Okay, wait, wait, hang on, everybody. Wait.

Just time out in America. Give me a time out here. This dude teleported to Waffle House. Okay, look. He must be joking, right? You know, like when you tell everyone that you're Jesus, it's just a joke. I was with my boys one time,

and I was telling I was going to go to Waffle House and get Waffle House. And I ended up at a Waffle House. This is in Georgia. And I ended up at a Waffle House. Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was. They said, where are you? I said, a Waffle House.

They said, P, Waffle House where? And I said, Waffle House in Rome, Georgia. I said, that's not possible. You just left here like I want him to go. Wow, I never thought I hear a boring teleportation story. This is, this guy's like, I told my boys I was going to Waffle House. but instead I ended up at a different Waffle House. Universe works in mysterious ways.

You have the power of teleportation, but you use it to go to Waffle House. That's like if you invented time travel, and instead of going back in time to kill Hitler, you went back in time to kill the cashier at Waffle House. Surely there was another place you teleported to, besides Waffle House. I was on the phone.

Oh, my God, what's happening? And I was landed. And landed about 40 miles away in a ditch outside of a Baptist church. It's amazing. Teleported a Waffle House, a ditch. This guy teleports to all the exact places you end up when you're blackout drunk.

Tiger Woods is like, yeah, they happen to me too. Yeah. Yeah, I just teleported into an upside down car. Here's how crazy the story is. Even Donald Trump heard it and was like, this is crazy. So CNN's Andrew Kaczynski called the president to ask about all this. The president's first response was, quote, was he kidding when Andrew said, no.

The president said this, quote, I don't know anything about teleporting. It just sounds a little strange, but I know nothing about teleporting or him, but I'll find out about it right now. The president is on it. Trump's gonna find out about it right now. Because if there's a way to bend the laws of the universe

to get waffles quickly, Trump will find it. Now, you're probably thinking it would be incredibly irresponsible to allow this guy to keep working at FEMA. Well, call M. Knight-Shalaman, because here comes a twist that doesn't make any sense at all. Despite all this, multiple FEMA official told us that his performance had eased some of their concerns about his lack of experience. One official even described him as FEMA's best hope, saying they couldn't believe that they were actually saying that.

Look, of course they like him at work, all right? He can go on a waffle run in seconds. But that tells you all you need to know about the Trump administration. Okay, the Waffle House teleportation guy might be the most competent. person in FEMA right now. So, we'll see. We'll have to see whether Trump ends up teleporting Greg Phillips to an unemployment office.

In the meantime, Waffle House is using his story as part of a new marketing campaign. Here at Waffle House, we've heard a lot about FEMA official Greg Phillips teleporting to one of our locations. Some say he's lying. Some believe him. Our official position is, we don't care. We're Waffle House. You can drive here, teleport here, get thrown off a Zamboni through the window,

unicycle in on ketamine. As long as you've got $3 in loose change, we are happy to have you. If we had standards, we wouldn't have customers. So teleport on over, with clothes, without clothes, whatever. The snobs and McDonald's might say, no shoes, no shirt, no service. Here at Waffle House, that'll make you the assistant manager. And remember, we're open 24-7-365. When do we have time to clean?

You might wonder, Hey, we don't ask you questions, and you don't ask us questions either. Where you come from, how you got here, what you're bleeding out of at Waffle House, your family. The type of family you get in fistfights with. I'm on kick your ass. Here comes one right now.

And from all of us here at Waffle House, we hope to fistfight you soon. Waffle House. We don't care. I didn't kill your wife. At some point, it becomes necessary to stop blaming stress, lack of sleep or just getting older for performance issues.

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HIMS is not affiliated with or endorsed by Vietris. We all know I've got great opinions, but it turns out I'm not the only one. Studies show that other people also have opinions. So here with another installment of, in my opinion, is our good friend Nick Offerman. Hello, I'm Velvet-tongued carpenter, Nick Offerman. Everyone knows it's important to remember the birthday of the one you love, and the one I love is America.

Don't worry, my wife Megan knows, and she's not not into it. And this year happens to be a particularly big birthday for America. Communities from sea to shining sea, celebrating 250 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed, proclaiming freedom from Great Britain and the birth of a new nation. Happy birthday, America. Are you one? Are you two? Are you three?

And so on. America's semi-quincidential. is here and to throw it semi-kinzeniera I hope we have a great party planner in my campaign for president I pledged to give America the most spectacular birthday party the world has ever seen for America's 250th anniversary okay sure Trump plan the party it's not like you have anything else going on gas prices are hovering just below fury road levels but have fun picking out the balloons. Hang on, perhaps I am rushing to judgment. We can only hope Trump puts as much love

into America's birthday as he would for Jeffrey Epstein's. I abhor the message, but I do appreciate a handwritten card. Any asshole can go to Hallmark, but calligraphy shows you care. So how is the president going to show us he cares about America? For the first time in American history, the signature of a sitting president will soon be featured on U.S. currency. The Treasury announcing the decision to celebrate the nation's 250th birthday this summer, saying President Trump's signature is not only appropriate, but also well-deserved. Signing the dollar bills? But Mr. President, how can you sign them all? For that, you would need an auto pen.

Fine. He can sign the money. At least it's just a signature. not his face. President Trump's face could soon be on U.S. money. A commission handpicked by Trump himself has approved the design for 24-carat gold coin to commemorate America's 250th birthday. Wow. A coin with Donald Trump's face. Finally, a way to lose the respect of a gumball machine.

I'm not sure about that coin, but I'm really not sure about that pose. He looks like he's trying to pinch. one out at a standing toilet. But okay, okay, fine. I guess if it's just one coin. The U.S. Treasury is preparing to put President Trump on a $1 coin to commemorate America's 250th birthday. Another coin?

Mr. President, can you please stop putting your face on things I keep in my front pocket? Inches from my genitals. As well as my back pocket, inches from my butthole. You know, I would have assumed that the party theme for America's birthday would have been, I don't know, America. But I'm sensing from the party decorations that a different theme is emerging. The commemorative national park passes for our country's 250th anniversary feature an image of Donald Trump alongside one of George Washington. Oh, come on. Your face on the park passes? I go to national parks to get away from your... face. And to see those idiot salmon swim in the wrong direction of the cat, they are so stupid.

Okay. Commemorative coins and park passes will come and go. One day, they'll all be lost to time. At least nothing he's doing for America's birthday is permanent. The president is proposing a permanent arch in Washington. It's being called the Ark de Trump. He wants it to be the big. largest arch in the world, 250 feet tall to honor the country's 250th anniversary. Small, medium, and light. And whichever one they look good, I happen to think the large looks my father's best. Can he play with his model replicas in the basement like a normal demented grandpa? Can we stop with these self-aggrandizing celebrations like you're some Roman emperor? What's next? Gladiator fights? President Trump.

Trump announced a UFC fight will take place at the White House on June 14th. This is what it will turn into for UFC with the octagon in the middle. What in the name of Caligula's c-k is happening? Blood sports for the entertainment of a Caesar is not a show of strength. It's literally the first sign of a declining empire. Number two, of course, is starting a war in Persia. Oh shit. Look, it's pretty obvious that President Trump is making this 250th celebration about himself.

But we can't let him. This is America's birthday. It's not about one man. It's about our country and its ideals. So forget the empty jingoistic posturing and find your own ways to patriotically party down. Go to historical reenactments. Or better yet, do your own. If you've never thrown tea into a harbor, you have not lived.

Or get into a fist fight with an actual British person. Dibbs on Cumberbatch. Or hell. Forget that. Go into one of those national parks. Celebrate America's natural beauty. And while you're there, get in your birthday suit and partake of some tasteful lovemaking

with someone you care about. Dibbs on Cumberbatch. My point is, technically, you will be having a loving, patriotic three-way with America. And that is how you celebrate a birthday. But that's just my opinion. Hoffman, everyone, when we come back, Baim, we'll be joining me on the show. ... whose latest documentary is called BTS, The Return.

Please welcome. Half the crowd is like your people, so I don't know. You made this documentary about BTS. What is BTS? What is BTS? Yeah, what is that? I mean, it's one of the biggest, the biggest band in the world. You should know this, right?

Okay, cool. Okay, if you say so. Yeah, so what does it say about this moment where a Korean pop band is like the biggest band in the world, including America? I mean, I think it just... No, sometimes things have big outside America. Sure, no.

I think you're going to get me in trouble in some ways. Why? I mean, I just think we're in a state of the world where, you know, it doesn't matter where you come from. music, art, it all connects you in different ways. Yeah, yeah, well, that's really the state of the world right now. We feel really connected and there's no racism. I think that's where culture can like transcend and go above politics and all that, hopefully sometimes.

Yeah, I mean, this is... Hopefully. Yeah, what does this mean that these guys are, you know, so popular? I never thought I see the day, you know, when you see, quite frankly, white people, you know, tattooing BTS on themselves and going to concerts. Yeah, I mean, I... Usually they just tattooed like shitty. Chinese writing on them.

That's usually MAGA people, too, for some reason. But I would say that, you know, when I got to see them in concert a few years back at SoFi Stadium, there's like, you know, 90,000 people. And half the audience, more than half the audience, wasn't Asian, but they were singing all the Korean lyrics. And that was like something that was really, as an Asian American who hasn't seen many people that look like me on that type of stage, like to see that was really inspiring. Sure.

BTS is big in Korea. Yeah, no, no, duh. Well, this is in Los Angeles. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that is amazing. So, again, I mean, not to hop on it, but like, what does it say about this moment where I think it's fair to say, America, a little isolationist right now, a little jingo-wistic, but yet, you know, BTS can still penetrate. So it's just weird, you know, how do you reconcile these two as someone who has thought about this a lot? this a lot. I mean, I can't speak for, like, all the fans, but, and everyone's perspective.

But, again, I just think, like, the music, it's, people are, like, looking for something that's, like, inspirational that makes you want to dance. Yeah, like our president. You know? So, you can be MAGA and a BTS fan, yeah, yes, I guess. There's a large section of BTS fans around the world. Well, MAGA, yeah. You can say it.

Say in the camera. M-A-G-A-B-T-S-S. Yeah, so you want to talk a little bit about the technical aspects of filming this? Because I guess you had to be embedded with these guys for a while. Did they, did you approach it as like a, were you in contact with them? Or were you like animal planet, like just looking at penguins? You know, like when penguins die and you can't interfere? Yeah.

You know when the baby penguins like die and you can't stop it? Were you like that? It was like a middle portion of that. Like, I would say, um, like if BTS fell down, you couldn't pick them up. You had to like let them. This let truth unfold, right? Let nature take a score. Exactly.

No. Um, I mean, I, for me as a filmmaker, um, you know, I was capturing a creative process, right? And like, if you're writing, your stand-up set and things like that, you don't want someone with a camera in your face. And so I kind of gave them a distance in a way where they could be, creative, but also creating this intimacy in the documentary. So it was like over time where, you know, it was sort of more a fly on the wall in the beginning. But as I got to know them more, like, I would, you know, ask them questions and interact with them.

It's funny, there's a scene in the film where, you know, they're all having dinner. They're eating, like, Korean barbecue, and they could hear my stomach growl. And they would come to me. They would, like, turn to me and be like, do you want to eat now? I was like, no, I can't. I can't be that person. And so immediately when I got home, I would order Korean barbecue. Did your stomach growling make the edit?

Did you leave it in the edit? If you listen to it very closely. It's RFK in the background. So like when you, again, I mean, we didn't really, this is kind of my fault for being a shitty host. I didn't really set up what this documentary is about because it's actually a very specific moment in time. This isn't like the whole history of BTS. You're kind of documenting the return album, right? And that's why you're saying they're in the middle of a creative process, right?

So you're in there with them. And they welcomed you in, I guess. Yeah. I mean, I think for me, the film is for both, like, hardcore BTS fans, but also people who just want to learn about the creative process. For mega people as well. I'm sure there's creative mega people. Yeah.

For mega people, yeah, whatever. I don't know what it's good. For Brexit people. It's for Brexit people as well. Brexit, whatever. Okay. But it's for everyone who, you know, who, you know, left something and is coming back to something, returning to something and something familiar, a group of friends.

North Koreans. No, Kim Jong-un, everybody. It's everybody. Yeah, yeah, they all came back and they, yeah. And they hadn't seen you out for how long? Well, you know, there's mandatory military service in Korea. And so it was like, um, it was like, on and off for three or three years,

but each of them went to military at different times. And they left and then they did their own solo work and everything like that. But they haven't recorded an album in like four years or so. Right. And so this context as well, like people don't understand like countries of national service. You gotta go. Even if you're BTS, you gotta go.

So these guys were just in the army, I guess. Yeah, I mean it's even the biggest like, you know, Korean group in the world, they still had to do their military service, which I think it's, like, very admirable of them. Sure. That's a political statement on your part, right? No?

It's a true statement. No, but the idea that these guys were just in the army, and it's like the biggest man in the world still in the army, and that's why they were on the hiatus, right? So this returns kind of like a big, it's a big deal for this, a big challenge for them. Yeah, I mean, it's, I don't think since, like, Elvis has there been sort of someone this big

who, you know, has sort of returned back into, to stardom in a way. Right. And when you started off this thing, did you have, you know, did you just kind of like tell yourself whatever you capture and let the story develop on its own? Or how did you approach the... I mean, I had certain ideas about, like,

what I thought I would capture. And, you know, I, as a filmmaker, I think about, like, mythology and things like that. And The Odyssey was something that I was thinking about because in many ways, like, BTS was like Odysseus and Army is like Penelope waiting for his story. their heroes to return. I know that's not the answer you want.

You asked it. I'm just giving an honest answer. Okay, so, okay, fine. Okay, to answer the way you want. Yeah, I'm Zeus, that's Penelope, this dude is Hercules, and we're all freaking living a Greek tragedy, okay. Yeah. But I mean, you know, all kidding aside, I think what I came to realize is like,

it's not just they're the biggest, you know, musical band in the world, but they also represent an entire country. Like, there's not many artists, musicians who have to carry the same weight that BTS has, right? Sure. Being super hot Koreans is really... Such a burden on that? But you, no, but you managed to capture that because we know them as super hot

Korean guys who are just, you know, the world's oyster. And you managed to catch me at very intimate moments. I mean, was that tough to get access or they did let you in or... Yeah, for sure. I mean, they, obviously, like, there's a certain amount of control that happens with anyone of that level. But I think for me, as a filmmaker, especially in documentary, it's about earning that trust. And I always try to say that I'm making films, like, not about people, but, like, with them. So there is a collaboration there because, you know, they're giving parts of their lives to this film, to this story.

And you can't just say that you're going to be completely objective. I think you have to realize there is subjectivity when you're making a film. Sure. And I mean, this is not your first film. You've made critically acclaimed documentary films before, B. Water with Bruce Lee, the biggest night in pop. Greatest night in pop. Okay, sorry, my bad.

And then, which was a great documentary, and the photographer one. The stringer, yes. You really did your research. Yeah, I watched all of them. I just, the names escaped me. I'm sorry. I've borderline brain damage from covering the news

every single day. But, I mean, this is not your first rodeo. And so, like, as a critically acclaimed filmmaker, documentary, how do you reconcile, like, this idea of, like, you're there to, a documentary is kind of rooted in facts and what happened. But as a filmmaker, documentarian, you have to piece together a narrative, for no other reason than story structure. Like, how do you kind of reconcile that, story versus fact, you know,

when you're pretty serious. I mean, for me, I'm not like a journalist, like you. That's to deal with facts all the time, right? Like, always dealing with facts. Give us the Pulitzer Prize over here, because we've... But, you know... We're really journalizing it up over... I made a joke about someone's dick in the first act, so that's...

That's how much journalism we're doing, I guess. I mean, for me, it's about honesty more than it is about fact. And so, like, I think when you're making an honest story about someone, about either a song like We Are the World or... in the stringer about an iconic photograph. It's like, what is the honesty and what is the emotional truth? Instead of, like, facts, I think journalists

who have studied under a very certain rigor, that's what their pursuit is. And so I'm usually observing maybe journalists or subjects, so then it becomes part of that story. Right, and technically speaking, you were in the room filming this, and I mean, you don't speak Korean, and these guys are speaking a lot of Korean.

I mean, how did you technically clean figure that out. I mean, you know, thankfully our producer set up like this live in-air recording for us so I could hear what they were saying. The problem is there's seven of them who are talking simultaneously.

So that got a little... Right. Did you just go in the room and go shut the fuck up? All of you. Like one at a time, you fucking... I told you I was a fly on the wall, so that's right. Maybe if you were directing it, you might do that. Oh, if I was directing it, oof, it would be your heart, your heart, one at a time. How do you say that in Korean?

Tell them that in Korean. So you were just in the thing and you were like in the, so there are scenes in it which are very intimate, you know. I mean, there's a scene, one of the moments that strikes me, honestly, is the moment when you captured, like, one of the members in the apartment building, like eating ramen and like watching YouTube over their keyboard. It was like such a like, oh, these guys are just, you know, normal people.

And you were in the apartment with him? Yeah. That's like one of my favorite scenes of the film is we were with Jimon and he's just ordering, you know, takeout and watching science videos on YouTube, which I think we all sort of relate to in many ways. And it just shows like the connectedness of like just being human and normal. Like even though, you know, they go out and perform to like 100,000 people a night, they're human beings with sort of the same sort of. of anxieties and fears that we all have. Sure. Well, yeah, you did a great job capturing it.

It's a really cool film, man. Congratulations on it. Good luck for you. Thank you for coming on the show. Yes, the return is streaming now on Netflix. About a win, everyone. We'll go take a quick break, but we're right back after this. This episode is brought to you by FedEx.

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So how bad could it be for you? Okay, okay. But then maybe he's on to something. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.

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