The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jessica Williams: The Republican Party Whisperer

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Happy Birthday to one of the Daily Show's youngest correspondents! Jessica takes a deeper dive into the Republican Party and covers former presidential candidate Ben Carson, the increase of minorities in the GOP, and why former Bernie Sanders supporters plan to vote for Trump.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show, we're gonna be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. Ben Carson. Yes. Now, Ben Carson isn't exactly a politician, and he himself says that he doesn't know much about politics, but he does have a plan for how to be a good president. I think the people who do the best are the ones who know how to utilize experts. Well, that makes sense. You don't have to know everything if you can just surround

yourself with experts. There's just one problem. The experts Ben Carson surrounds himself with, think that he's an idiot. Ben Carson, under fire, after reports he's failing on foreign policy. A New York Times article quotes one of his national security advisors as saying, Carson can't get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East and needed weekly briefings on foreign policy so, quote, we can make him smart. Well, that's just obvious people. Of course, Ben Carson's advisors can't make him smart.

You can't change his brain. That's a job for a neurosurgeon. It's the same way your barber always has a shit haircut. That's how it goes. Now, maybe you're surprised It's the same way your barber always has a hair cut. That's how it goes. Now, maybe you're surprised that the guy who thinks the pyramids or grain silos might not be that smart about foreign affairs, but let's not just take his advisor's word for it. Let's judge for ourselves. Carson was asked on Fox News who he'd call first.

If the Paris attacks happened on his watch, he refused to answer three times. Who would you call first? But who would you call first specifically? But can you tell us who you would call first, sir? On the international scene. It's ghostbusters! Come on! Everybody knows the right answer to that question!

You could go to any African country and ask a little kid, who you're going to call? He'd be like, Ghostbusters! And UNICEF, I'm hungry. He has no plan for war. So he has no plan for war. The question is, does Carson have a plan for peace?

Dr. Ben Carson said, I don't have any problem with the Palestinians having a state, but does it need to be within the confines of Israeli territory? Is that necessary? Or can you sort of slip that area down into Egypt? Now, I... I... I don't... Can't you just slip it into Egypt?

Like, who does Ben Carson think... I don't, can't you just slip it into Egypt? Like who does Ben Carson think? He thinks Egyptians won't notice him just walking in with Palestine? Just like... This is insane. At this rate, I wouldn't be shocked to find out Ben Carson's, the tiddy-bar in Vegas. Like, now, now the advisor who's calling Ben Carson Stupid is no joke. He's a man named Dwayne Claridge with 60 years of foreign policy experience, including

a particularly shady stint at the CIA. And now he runs a private intelligence agency. It's so shadowy. It is literally called the Eclipse Group. Yeah, it's the number one listing in the Yellow P for shady business, right above skullduggery Systems Limited and casual whistle with hands-in-pockets LLC. So according to the New York Times, this guy's been advising Ben Carson on the debates and now he's talking trash about Carson. Wow, I hope he's wearing a belt buckle because here come the knives. Well this is your own advisor, Mr. Claridge saying that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the, the, the the, the the, the, the the, the the, the, the, the the, the the the the, they, they, they, they, they, they- is tho, tho, tholucluclue-s-s-s-s'-skulled-s, tholucluclucluclucli-s, tho-s, they- here come the knives. Well, this is your own advisor, Mr. Claridge, saying that in his words, you need weekly

briefings, in his words, quote, to make you smart. One of your other advisors. He's not my advisor. He is not my advisor. Oh, oh, that explains everything. This guy is not his advisor, question answered. So, uh, so what is he then? He is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on. So, an advisor?

You know, this guy isn't my drug dealer. He's just a man who comes to my apartment and shares his cocaine after I pay him. I don't think of myself as a surgeon. Just a guy, people pay to stab their brain until they're healthy. And the crazy thing is the Carson campaign didn't just distance themselves from Claridge. They did it in a pretty dickish way. The Carson campaign says of Clarage, he is coming to the end of a long career of serving our country. He is clearly not one of Dr. Carson's top advisors.

For the New York Times to take advantage of an elderly gentleman and use him as their foil in the story is an affront to good journalistic practices. I love how they do. They use the New York Times. Why would you say that about the senile old man, New York Times? These guys are heartless and to be honest, I don't understand how it got to this. But for more on this, we go to senioryear relationship, not only is Carson acting like he doesn't know Claridge, he's also calling him a senile old man. Well, it's not so complicated, Trevor.

This is what happens in a breakup. We've all been there. You meet somebody, you hit it off, you start getting really close, and then one of you says, hey, maybe I can be in your cabinet one day. And the next thing you know, you're picking out countries to invade together. Well, that makes a lot of sense, Jessica, but then why are they airing out all their dirty laundry in public? Oh, yeah, all it takes is one fight,

and then he starts telling everyone that you don't know anything about the world and that you're you're you're you're you're helpless you're you're helpless you're you're tho technically, we weren't even together, so... What? Jess, are we still talking about Ben Carson? Who the fuck is Ben Carson? Look, if Darrell, look, if Darrell wanted to be an item, he should have just said so, instead of just stringing me along with the journal and late night booty blasting. And now, he's on Facebook talking about how great it is to be single, and how, thua, thua, thua, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi. to thiiiiiiiiii. thii. thii. thi. thi. thi, are thi, thi, thi, how great it is to be single and how for the first time he really feels so free and it's like, really, Darrell? Really, you feel free right now? You're just gonna DM my best friend

three days after we break up, even after we did that stupid hike in the cat skills together. Dude, I did a three-mile hike with Darryl. Three miles. I had granola and then just shove it up your ass, bro? Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye.

Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics.

Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. As we were saying before the break, Democrats got their asses handed to him last night.

I believe we referred to it as scull-shunders. But even worse, that is trademarked by the way. Even worse for the Democrats was the demographic breakdown of the ass-handers. Iowa has elected its first statewide woman. It's a Republican, Joni Ernst. West Virginia has its first female U.S. Senator. We had two openly gay candidates running as Republicans for Congress.

Tim Scott of South Carolina is the first black senator elected from the South since Reconstruction. In Utah, Mia Love becomes the first African-American woman Republican to serve in the house. woman Republican to serve in the house. An African American woman, Utah Republican. Those words are so odd together. Try typing it in your phone. It auto-corrects that to Aphrodite can watch you Reba McIntyre. It won't even do it.

If you try and type that in, Siri just jumps in without being prompted and says, I think you're looking for a hospital because it sounds like you're hallucinating. And not only did Republicans have diversity, they had youth. Republican Tom Cotton defeating Democratic incumbent Mark Pryor. He will be the youngest senator at the age of 37. New York's Elise Stefani, at 30, becoming the youngest woman ever elected to Congress. The Democratic Party's leadership is going to look to to to to to to to to to to to to to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look th. thi, thi, thi, thi, because it thi, because it th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It it it th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi.ani at 30 becoming the youngest woman ever elected to Congress. The Democratic Party's leadership is going to look old and stale in comparison to where the Republicans are. Oh, please. Old and stale, come on, they're not, oh my God! Someone

put the bandages back on those mummies. Oh my God! They're right. If they want to compete with these new young Republicans, Harry Reid's going to have to get a couple of sleeve tattoos and a vest from Uniclo stat. Listen, that's, that's not a mock-up. That's Harry Reid. And his band. Because Republicans were running in all ages and colors and Democrats just could not keep up. The lieutenant governor of Illinois is a Latina. She was running against a Democrat who was

just another white guy. And by the way, that was definitely her opponent's mistake to make that his campaign slogan. For more, we're joined by our senior demographer, Jessica Williams. Jessica, thank you so much for joining us. This is unbelievable. This is unbelievable. Absolutely.

Jessica, you would agree, last night Republicans gained at least seven Senate seats. They fielded some pretty diverse candidates. John, Republicans didn't just take Democrat's seats. They sold their essence. The GOP went from a Brooks Brothers catalog to to to to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a their their their their their their their se their their their their se se se sesesesesese-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Semoleconomic-S-S-Semolomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom, Jessica th se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se seae-aeconomic c. thoeconomic c. thoeuroeuroeuroeurose-coananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan seaeuroe- Democrats' seats. They sold their essence. The GOP went from a Brooks Brothers catalog to a United Colors of Benetton ad. It's not fair. I mean, how would Republicans feel if Democrats started denying climate change or decided that life begins at impure thoughts?

No, I can understand that. They would be angry. They would be confused. They would maybe be hurt. Exactly. But sorry, Democrats, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thuu, tha, tha, thoomomom, thoom, that that that that that that that that that that that thiioe, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their their their thiii, to to to to to to the, tooooooooooo. too. too. too. too. too. toeo. toeo. toe. toe. toe. to they would be confused, they would maybe be hurt. Exactly. But sorry, Democrats, because Utah just selected a young black Congresswoman. Conservative Arkansas passed a minimum wage increase. What the fucking kind of bizarre world is this, John? I mean, pretty soon the Republicans are going to be rocking those MSNBC nerd goggles.

John, they are single white feemaling the Democrats. So what do they do? What do they do when, when the th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they th they they they they th th th th thi the thi the the the, theateateateateate, the, the, theate, because the, the, theck, theck, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the thea, that, that, that, that, that, thatea. thatea thateauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. thea, the John, they are single white female in the Democrats. So what do they do? What do they do when this happens? The Democratic Party has always been about the identity politics really of the underrepresented. If Republicans take that, what do the Democrats have left? They need to dig deeper. Get the minorities within the minorities. Pansexual sexual whole food shoppers, which redlocks. You're Korean lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian, the Korean, their their they they they they they they are Korean, they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're they're tho, tho, tho. tho. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're thi. thi. thee. they're thea. thea. theaugh, thea. they're they're they're thea. they're they're they're they're they're they're the. they're the. Pansexual whole food shoppers, which red locks. You're Korean lesbian floors.

So you know what? Maybe politics isn't the Democrats' thing anymore. They're great to social media and raising money. So why not become a tech startup and develop an app. Like AirDNC. It lets you stay in a Democrats Washington home that's now vacant since they lost their jobs. Boom. Boom is right. It hurts. The truth hurts, Jessica, and I'm glad that you delivered that and dropped what appeared

to be a mic from your hand as you did. Always. Boom. Let me say this. Uh-huh. Maybe Democrats need more people like yourself to motivate the base to get the blood pump in there. Yeah, I the the the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the ba the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's. that that that's. that that that's. that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. that's. that's. that's. that that that that that that that that that that that blood pump in there. Oh yeah, I would do it, but I'm a Republican now. What? Hey, what? Yeah. Wait a minute. You support Republican policy now?

Well, no, but I do support me winning an Oscar playing the first black woman president in Road to the Overy Office. The Mia love story. That's, so this is it. It's over. It's over. The Republicans are the party of minorities now. Well, you know what? No.

It's like when there's like this accountant guy at your office who like keeps asking you out even though you know, you have nothing in common. But then like one night you see him at an exclusive party at the MoMA and he's with some cute alt girl with like pink hair and you're like, hey, you know what I mean? you like what I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the the thi's like, they, there's like, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, they's like, they's like, they's they's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the thi. the there's like, thi. Maybe I could date this guy. You know what I mean? And then you like talk to him again on Monday and you're like, oh no, I was right. This guy fucking sucks. It's just like that. You know, you know what I mean?

So, so, uh, so, uh, so 2016 Democrats have a better shot at dating? Yeah, I mean, no, I mean, well maybe. I don't know, John, I'm 25, love is complicated. All right, thank you. Jessica Williams, everybody, we'll be right back. It really is fine. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show

coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, the election, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. As you may have heard, tonight is a bit of sweet moment at the Daily Show. Our beloved correspondent, Jessica Williams, is leaving us to go create her own new show

on Comedy Central. Fortunately, we do have one final report from Jess on a group of Donald Trump supporters who may surprise you. After an impassioned Democratic primary between the Kerbier enthusiasm guy and the Mother of Dragons, the voting is finally over. And with Hillary Clinton as their nominee, the Democratic Party has united without controversy. JK, y'all, I'm fucking with you. I won't vote for Hillary. I can't vote for her.

We're not just automatically going to vote for the demon because you're saying the devil may be there. Demons and devils? How can it get any worse? I think there's one palus So I gathered a bunch of actual loyal Bernie Sanders supporters together to see if this could possibly be true. Probably I will be looking at Trump. I'm gonna have to go with Trump. Trump. Why? He has diarrhea of the mouth, but a lot of things that he says are things that a lot of people may think. You mean like racist things? Racist things I would say yeah. Okay. He is a bigot and the racist. However, you

don't have to continue with whatever. Where are you going to go with that? No, I'm about to go there. Hillary has been a scam artist all her life and I hope the FBI comes and indicts her. Hmm I was starting to suspect that this wasn't about Trump at all. Hillary will bring us to war within 90 days of her inauguration. Okay. Hillary Clinton's just a stack of garbage. She's a stack of garbage. She's more like a lepicon to me.

You said she's a lepricon? What does a lepricon ever done to you? Okay, hold up. So they think Hillary is this? I want me to go! But they want to vote for this? Money, money, I want more money. I want more money. I don't even know why. I don't get it.

How do you go from a left-wing, progressive, to a man who worships money? Can you name one thing that Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders have in common? Bernie and Donald do not have a super pack. Actually, Donald Trump does have a super pack, like four. Bernie and Trump both don't have hair. Wow, okay. Um, anything else? They're both old. Anything else?

They both want to be president. And that's all it is, huh? Can't they see that it's Bernie and Hillary that have similar policies and views? Their views are totally opposite. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders' views are totally opposite? Right. What about Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump's views? Okay, what?

Are they totally opposite? Hell yeah? This is not a robot short-circuiting. These are not a robot short-circuiting. These are real people who are going to vote. Okay. To show them just how opposite Bernie and Trump are, I'm going to play a fun game called, Who yelled it best? Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders? First one.

When Mexico sends its people, they're bringing crime. They're rapists and some, I assume, are good people. Trump. The goal of real health care reform must be high quality, universal coverage in a cost-effective way. Burning. I would end Obamacare and replace it with something terrific. What gave it away? The third grade level wording. Okay.

Okay. You will never learn what I am thinking. That's Trump. Actually, no, that's Hitler. That's Hitler. Sounds a little like Trump, doesn't it? True question. Mm-hmm.

I got you. Like a lecklepicu. Because they're really, really well. You know why? They are literally the opposite people. It's not going to Donald Trump. It's going away from Hillary Clinton. Okay, maybe an analogy will help. Last weekend I wanted to go to this new restaurant, but my friends wanted to go to this old restaurant and I got outvoted. So instead of eating with them at this old restaurant, I went to an alley and I sat down and ate a pile of dog. At least I know is Dudu. That plan backfired.

Do these people just love Dudu? I have to get to the bottom of this. Y'all would rather have a 100% turd than a maybe secret turd. Yes. But what if that may be Dukie tuke turn'll have to chew on that. Well, I guess we'll just have to chew on that, Dukie. Uh, maybe there isn't a way to convince these six Bernie the Trump voters to change their

minds. Luckily, there is one Bernie supporter who has his priorities in order. Are you going to vote for Hillary Clinton in November? Yes. So there's zero chance you vote for Donald Trump. Oh, God, please. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that Donald Trump is defeated. Maybe Bernie supporters should just listen to the guy that they're supporting.

Jay-Willi out. Jessica Williams, everybody. Miss Jay-Winney. Jay Willie. What an exciting and yet sad moment at the same time. We tried. We tried to put together all of your greatest moments, but the truth is no one show can do them justice. You are the coolest, most awesome person. This building is going to suffer a severe lack of Jay Williness without you. I got a lot of Willie Stow. And so to say goodbye to you, we tried

to put together just a tiny bit of what makes you as amazing as you are. So please enjoy. Hey guys, it's TV's Jess Williams. I'm single ladies. I'm single ladies. All the single ladies. Ah, ah, okay, okay, see, that's racist. Race yourself, you might want to sit down for this, but Beyonce is black. Why would we need a tractor dancer on this farm?

Because it's fun, cross and lock it. Try this. Yep. Is that pioneer choking that Native American dude to death, or do I have something crazy in my eye? Look at me. I'm an old exorcist. I don't know technology. What the fuck is going on? I just want to live in a world where I can write a freaking real hoverboard.

You want to kick out a church that is very homophobic and put in young LGBT youth? It'd be a perfect place for our young people to live. What? Jessica Williams, everybody! Jessica Williams, everybody! Wow, Jessica, I think I speak for everyone on the show, especially your fellow correspondence. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out, African. Oh, wow, it's all the correspondence, everybody.

Oh, man. Oh, hey. Oh, hey. We can speak for ourselves. Yeah, I'll go first because I'm the white guy. Jess, it has been an honor working with you. When I came in, I was so impressed by how young and talented you were. It almost made me angry.

And now, as you leave, I'm honored to say that I am still pissed. You covered so many important stories about black women and gay rights and pastors who think that there's semen and Starbucks coffee. Right. But before you go, Jess, there's one big reason we're all here today. Can I get your office? Can I get your office? Can I get your office?

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, please. Guys, it was so beautiful and you spoil. You should be ashamed of your office. I'm getting Jessica. the their, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, the, guys, their, their, guys, guys, guys, their, their, guys, their, guys, guys, their, guys, guys, th. their, th. th. th. th. there, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, there, guys, guys, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. there, there. there. there. there. there, there. there. there, there. there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, there's. there's. there's. there's. office. Uh, we're also gonna put the tanning bed. No, Jessica, we are, wow, we cannot say goodbye to you enough. It is not goodbye, it is farewell. You're gonna be close by, hopefully. Your show is gonna be amazing. And you're always welcome. Jessica Williams, everybody. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show.

It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.

And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.