The Daily Show: Ears Edition - John Kelly's Old-School Anti-Immigrant Rhetoric | Michael C. Hall

Episode Date: May 15, 2018

Violence erupts over the opening of a U.S. embassy in Jerusalem, John Kelly makes disparaging comments about Mexican immigrants, and Michael C. Hall discusses "Safe." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

May 14, 2018. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the Danish show. Thank you so much and thank you for tuning in and I'm Trevor Noah. My guest tonight, I'm a huge fan, you know him from Dexter and he's got a brand new Netflix series Safe. Michael Seahol is here everybody. But first, if you put on Spotify at your barbecue this weekend, you might have noticed something missing.

The Times Up movement now taking AIM and R&B singer are Kelly. The three-time Grammy winner, now facing pressure from music streaming services. Spotify, Pandora and Apple Music, all announcing they would no longer promote Kelly's songs, removing them from their playlists, though fans can still search for them. Yeah, that is the ultimate punishment for our Kelly. No more streaming. Also, note to self, never go out wearing a bandit mask just in case the news needs a photo saying you did something wrong because people are just going to assume that you're guilty, right? Even Zorro looks at it and he's like, yeah, he did it, he's totally did it.

And now I know, I know some R.Kaley fans are angry saying like, how can they censor Arkelly? He's done nothing wrong. Like, look, hey, he's not censored, right? The playlist just don't recommend him anymore. It's the same way I haven't banned Arkhali as a babysitter. I just don't recommend him anymore. That's all. In other news, over the weekend, President Trump, the Archalia of the White House, dropped the tweets that caught a lot of people by surprise. It's another Trump tweet that's causing controversy this morning.

President Xi of China and I are working together to give massive Chinese phone company ZTE a way to get back into business fast. Too many jobs in China lost. It comes after the US government penalized the Chinese telecommunications company last month for violating sanctions against North Korea and Iran. The president later feeling the heat from critics taking to Twitter once again. China and the United States are working well together on trade, but be cool, it will all

work out. Be cool, it will all work out. Like how Trump has adopted the foreign policy strategy of the guy who used to sell me weed, you know? But let me get this straight, just so I wrap my head around this. Trump is now promising to bring jobs back to China. I love Trump. He's like a gangster rapper. One moment he's beefing with the Chinese, the next he's dropping a collabo with them.

It's just like, yeah, we're on the same team, remix. And I honestly don't know how these trade negotiations are going to shake out, but at this rate, I have a feeling that Trump's going to drop all the tariffs against China, give them everything in exchange for a pair of nunchucks. I did it, folks. I did it. Moving on. You may remember that during the presidential campaign, Donald Trump had a number of ambitious goals, like bringing back cold jobs and launching Hillary at the moon.

But perhaps his most grandiose goal was this. If you're a deal person, right? The ultimate deal is that deal. Israel, Palestine, you're going to make it. That probably is the hardest deal there is to make. If I'm gonna be president, I'd rather be in a position because I will try the best I can, and I'm a very good deal maker, I believe me,

to try and solve that puzzle. You're not gonna solve it if you're gonna be on one side or another. Everyone understands that. Now, first of all, first of all, Now, first of all, first of all, props to Trump for thinking that the ultimate deal is peace in the Middle East and not the number four at McDonald's. That's a step up, I like that. And also, I'm impressed how confident he was. I bet in his head he was just thinking, all I've got to do is have Michael Cohen

paid the Palestinians $130,000 and then poof, problem solved. And to be honest, this is one this is one one one one one this is one one this is one one one this is one one one this is one one one this is one one one this is one one one this is one one one one one this is one one one this is one one one this is one one this is one one thi, thiole. thiole, thoe, thi. thi. thioli. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toee. toee. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. th. th. folks. And to be honest, this is one of those issues where part of me was willing to give Trump a chance. I mean, Israel and Palestine have been fighting for 70 years, right? In my head, I was like, what's the worst thing Trump could do? Well, today, he answered that question. The Trump administration upending decades of established American policy, officially moving the U.S. embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. That added fuel to the fire of weeks of Palestinian protests

along the Gaza border. More than 50 Palestinians killed by the Israeli military. More than 2,000 injured. Now, I don't care who you are. I think we can all agree this was a horrible loss of life that sadly anyone could have predicted. The Israelis and the Palestinians both claimed Jerusalem as their capital. So America moving its embassy to Jerusalem before even holding peace talks was bound to be a provocative move.

And there was a moment where Trump considered not doing it, but not out of concern for the human cost. They said, sir, we're building an embassy in Jerusalem, sir. I said, how much? Something other presidents don't ask, but that's OK. They said, I kid you not. They said, sir, $1 billion. I said a billion.

You know what a billion dollars is? So I called David, I'd stop signing, by the way. I said a billion. You know what a billion dollars is? So I called David, I'd stop signing by the way. I had Donald D-O-N-A-L-D and then it was like dead. Bo-ah. And then all of a sudden I stopped, never got to the T and I started putting X's because I was afraid that somebody could say it was my signature. I love that Trump tried Xing out his signature like he was voiding a check. As if somebody was going to take the executive order out of the White House trash and fill out the rest of his name. Like some kid is going to use it as his fake ID. Just like, sorry buddy, you've got to be 21. That's the thirty, thirty, that's, and th. th. th. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, and thirty, and thirty, the thirty, and I's take the executive order out of the White House trash and fill out the rest of his name. Like some kid is going to use it as his fake ID. Just like, sorry, buddy, you've got to be 21.

That's no way to talk to the President of the United States. I'm so sorry, Mr. President. I didn't see your signature right this way. Right this way. So, Trump was against it, but then once the president figured out a low-cost way to destabilize the Middle East, he went ahead and moved the embassy. And as angry as the Palestinians are, to many Israelis, Trump is a hero. The Israeli people also celebrating the occasion, pro-Trump signs a signal of President Trump's growing popularity in the country.

The mayor of Jerusalem has put up an image of the old wall. It actually shows an animated US flag and Israeli flag. The large soccer club is changing its name to honor the president, the Bata Jerusalem Football Club will now be known as Bata Trump Jerusalem. That's right, Trump has gotten so popular that they're naming an Israeli soccer team after him, which is perfect, because a lot of people don't know this, but that team only won their league because James Comey stepped in and tripped a play on the opposing team. Yeah. Everyone was confused.

So I'm like, what is James Comey doing here? They're like, I don't know. Trevor needed him for the joke. And here's the thing, if Trump wants to take Israel's side, that's his prerogative. But at least be honest about it, right? Instead of stoking the flames at the same time, you're saying this. Our greatest hope is for peace. The United States remains fully committed to facilitating a lasting peace agreement. If you're Palestinian, you probably think that statement is absolute bullshit.

And I can understand why. Because essentially, although America says it's the referee, it's basically just shown up to Game 2 in a Cavs jersey, it's like, yeah, I'm going to be totally fair, right? LeBron? wink, wink, wink. We'll be right back. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Last week, the Trump administration announced a new policy to deter illegal immigration. If any families are courts entering illegally from Mexico, Border Patrol will take the children away from their parents indefinitely, which

is a horrible proposal and a great plot for the Mexican reboots of taken. I'll just be like, I have a particular set of skills. I will find you and I will kill you. But first I needed to approve my visa, then I'm coming for you, man. But over the weekend, Trump's Chief of staff and Caucasian Grinch, John Kelly, went on NPR, and immigration policy came up, and this is what he had to say. Let me step back and tell you that the vast majority of the people that move illegally into the United States are not bad people.

They're not criminals, not MS-13. Wow, now I'm not going to lie. It's nice to hear someone in the administration, especially Trump's top guy say Mexicans aren't all criminals. But any compliment that weak is always a little suspicious. You know, if a parent's teacher conference started that way you'd know that something crappy was coming. The teacher was like, now let's let's step back for a second. Your son Timmy isn't in MS-13. However, so look, if John Kelly stopped there, that would have been fine. I could go home early, but you've all seen the show and you know how this works, so let's

hear the rest. They're not criminals, not MS-13. But they're also not people that would easily assimilate into the United States. They're overwhelmingly rural people. In the countries they come from, fourth, fifth, sixth grade educations are kind of the norm. They're coming here for a reason, and I sympathize with the reason. But the laws of the laws. Okay, okay. So they're not bad people.

They're just not the right people. I mean, don't get me wrong, overwhelmingly rural is fine as a title for a Kenny Chesney album, but not as criteria for immigrants. And it's weird to me, here's the thing, it's weird to me that Kelly starts out, Kelly starts out talking about the law, and then he's suddenly talking about the people. Because here's the thing, if the laws are the laws, it shouldn't matter whether the people

breaking them are overwhelmingly rural or not. Kelly's showing his hand here. It's basically like telling someone that they're not invited to your party because you know they wouldn't enjoy it. And then after that, immediately saying, it's really more for people who don't smell that way. You gave away your game. But look, anti-immigration rhetoric is nothing new. If you know anything about the story of America,

it's, this is it. The story of America is immigrants coming to a new land and then once they arrive trying to stop more immigrants from coming to that same land which is crazy. It would be like if the ant man joined the Avengers and then he was like guys guys I think it's enough now I think it's enough. Yeah yeah I think we've got enough Avengers am I right? Yeah we just needed an ant now we're good. No more Avengers. No more. What about your wasp. I th. I was was. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the is thi. the is the is the is thi. thee is thi. the is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. No more. What about your wasp friend? Okay, my wasp can come in. My wasp can come in. But then that's it.

No more Avengers. Yeah, I need something to ride. Come on now. America has always had these attitudes about immigrants. A hundred-odd years ago, the Irish showed up in America, And back then, back then, America started freaking out. People put up signs that said no Irish. They even drew cartoons depicting the Irish as apes. Yeah, which is disgusting for two reasons.

One, because it's offensive to Irish people, and two, because it's just lazy. You can't take the thing you call black people and use it on the Irish. That's racist appropriation. That's lazy the thing you call black people and use it on the Irish. That's racist appropriation. That's amazing. And it wasn't just the Irish. In America's history, all sorts of foreigners were said to be destroying the country. Chinese people, Russians, Germans, Italians, and the lines were the same.

They're bringing crime, they're bringing rapists. In fact, back in the day, and the lines were the same. They're bringing crime, they're bringing rapists. In fact, back in the day, Americans thought of Italy as the shit-hole country. Which, look, I understand. I mean, I don't know if you've ever been there, but I've been and the streets are flooded, the buildings are falling apart. I felt like I was on a UNICEF tour. But the truth is, though, the truth is, Italian Americans, just like other groups, that came here, they did assimilate. Every group can assimilate.

They learned skills. They made Rocky. They became valued members of society. And are there bad apples? Of course, there are bad apples. But that doesn't mean we should label all of them. We don't have to label all of them. The point is, even uneducated immigrants can make America great. And you know what, here's a great example.

An Italian day laborer named John DeMarco. He lived in America for 47 years without becoming a citizen. He was illiterate and he spoke no English. But his great-grandson went on to become a top Marine Corps general and then even became the White House Chief of Staff. So you see, folks, if it weren't for immigration, there would be no John Kelly. And without John Kelly, the White House would be in chaos.

I've just unproved my points. We'll be right back. to the try. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls?

We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the day of the show. My guest tonight is a Golden Globe Award winning actor and you know him from Dexter and Six Feet Under. He's currently starring in the new Netflix series, Safe. Please welcome Michael

Seahal. Welcome. Thank you, thank you. I know it must get irritating, but there are so many actors who have a role that is tied to their face. You know, Idris Alba is always going to have Stringer Bell, Daniel Radcliffe's always going to have Harry Potter. You are always going to have Dexter looming over you. Yeah. Yeah. Like, do you sometimes want to give people the Dexter? I'm going to kill you look when they say it's Dexter? Well, sometimes they ask me to give them that look, and I'm like, I'm actually

already giving it to you. Yeah. Because you never know what he's thinking. Like, I feel like I wouldn't trust you in real life. I would have to get to know you. I would have, because like, Dexter does the same, he's a nice guy in person, and then everyone around him's like, this guy's cool. He should be here.

We should give him a butter, your face for so long. What do you do after that? Like do you go like I'm actively going to try and play roles that are different or do you just embrace it and then move on? I mean, you know, if somebody sends me a script and the guy's like a serial killing funeral director, I'm probably not going to want to do it. But you know, I don't shy away from it either. I mean, the first job it did after Dexter was a movie and in, I, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the first shot, I the first shot, I the first shot, I the first shot, I the the first shot, I the first shot, I th. I th. But, I th. But, I th. But, I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th the, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm t t took, I'm took, I'm took, I'm try, and in the first scene I killed someone, but I did it accidentally. So you know, baby steps. Right, I like that you're weaning yourself off the murders, like slowly. And in this one, someone dies around me, look at that. Yeah, I didn't do it. And next one gets really hurt.

This is good. Yeah. Well, you're in a new show. It's, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. the. to. the to. the the t the t t t the t t the t the. the. the. th's called Safe. Let's take a look at the clip. We are with you and with our sister forever. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Sorry. Yeah, right. Wow. Case in point. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Now, hilarious. Now, I know, I know most people will be thinking of Trump and Melania when she slept his hand. But, but... We try to be topical. Right, but, but tell us what that scene was about and loosely what the story is about. Don't give anything away though. Okay, well that's a scene, those are Tom, the character I play, those are his two daughters, one's 12, the younger one's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi. thiole. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th.... And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toeeeeeeeeeeeeean, and, and toeeeeeeeeeean, and, and thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, those are his two daughters, one's 12, the younger one, and the other 16. He's recently widowed six months. It's sort of a flashback, that scene. And he's a pediatric surgeon. He's really good at his job, but at home,

he's completely out of his depth. Right. He's having trouble as a single father. And the story kicks off with his oldest daughter going missing and it's very much about him figuring out what happened. What takes everything in a direction that people don't expect though is the town where this is happening. It's not a normal gated community. It seems like everybody has a secret. It's like when you watch the first episode you're like, oh okay this seems normal. And then very quickly you like, no, this is not normal. Yeah, what's really fun about the show is at any point what what's what's what's what's what's what's th. th. th. th. th. thu, what's thu, what's thu, what's thu, what's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the thi. the the the the the the the the the tooo. the thoooooooo. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the show is that any point in time, any given character in the

show could conceivably have been the one who did the deed. And also these people are living in a gated community to try to keep the danger out. The irony is that it emerges from within. Right, right. So there's maybe a metaphor about walls and things like that happening. Oh, yeah. Is that about the great wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall?? Wall wall? Wall wall? Wall wall? the wall? the wall? the wall? the wall? the wall? th wall? th wall? th wall? th wall? th wall? th wall? th. th. th. thi? thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the.. Yeah. Yeah. And the... Is that about the Great Wall? The Great Wall? Yeah. Which wall? The Great Wall of China? Yeah. You're right. I'm on the same page. You know what was fascinating for me was the fact that you also played a British person.

And this is something I don't see often, and I don't know if anybody notices it, but you see a ton of British actors in Hollywood right now. And you don't see a tie-a the thea thea thea ttau. the of British actors in Hollywood right now and you don't see many American actors getting to play British roles was this like you trying to like reverse invade was that what? Yeah yeah yeah I'm turning the tables on that trend yeah yeah yeah I don't know what it is I mean you'll see like a Western and it's all British and Australian guys right but it doesn't happen as often that I mean I guess people you know you know, come to America, that's where, you know, you want to go to really make it, as they say. You know what I heard funny enough is, I heard that, like a lot of directors said, for

them it's because the people are not recognizable. So you get this British actor who's acted forever. So they have the experience of someone who's done it, but nobody knows, their. something completely different you went like no I'm gonna go from America to like do British people know Dexter is that what it is British people do know Dexter but British people are totally cool with the phenomenon of an actor doing a British accent you know they're like I thought you're gonna say they're cool with like serial killers I was like yeah yeah that's not like you're they're totally cool with that type of thing at some point yeah at some point It's in us. Dexter is like the British Friends. Right.

And so you're playing the role, you're playing it in Manchester. Did you have to practice, was that a Manchester accent that you have? They didn't want us to have noticeably northern accents. Right. So it's more of a home counties accent. How do you practice that without like mocking? Because I know like my default is I would start seriously in the scene so I'd be like what has happened to my child? She has gone and falling up the bridge. My child is falling yourself. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah it's, that's the key. To sound not like, you know, you. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. their. the, the, their. their. the, the, their. the, the, the, their. the, their. the, their. their. the, their. their, yeah, it's, that's the key. To sound, to sound, not like, you know, a stereotypical cockney thing or a really posh thing, but actually a living breathing everyday British person.

You know, that was the challenge. And that, my friend, is why you get paid the big bucks. Thank you so much for being here. Sure. Sink is available on Netflix on th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to Thank you so much for being here. Sure. Sinc is available on Netflix. Michael Seahol, everybody. The Daily Show with Trevor Noears edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app.

Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This has been a comedy central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election.

Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.