The Daily Show: Ears Edition - John Leguizamo Breaks Down Trump’s Rally in Waco, Texas | Ana Navarro

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

John Leguizamo breaks down the latest news including Trump's rally in Waco, Texas, French citizens dining next to protest fires, and George Santos's deal over fraudulent checks. Then, Ronny Chieng joins John to discuss the Florida school principal fired over a lesson plan including Michelangelo's David. Co-host of “The View” and CNN Political Commentator Ana Navarro discusses the importance of unity among Latinos and all underrepresented groups.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening the today, and as a new y'all, and as a new y'all this is up. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm John Legozo and as a New Yorker and a big fan of this show, I'm so excited to be here hosting this week and I'm so excited to be here hosting this week and I'm especially glad to be hosting during Hispanic Heritage Month. No, no, no, no, that was moronic. Come on, it's not Hispanic Heritage Month. That's in September. Come on, that was a test y'all. Oh my god, I have a lot to teach y'all this week.

But never mind, we got a great show for y'all tonight, so let's get into the headlines. Okay, let's kick things off with Donald Trump. That's right. The man's so bad at sex, he pays people not to talk about it. Yep. We're still all waiting for the cops to arrest him for lying about his affair with a porn star, but until then, he's continuing his presidential campaign and staying focused

on the important issues, like lying about his affair with a porn star. Former President Trump used his first official campaign rally in Waco, Texas to denounce the legal threats against him. People see it's bullshit and they go and they say, it's unfair. The district attorney of New York under the auspices and direction of the Department of Injustice in Washington, D.C., was investigating me for something that is not a crime, not a misdemeanor, not an affair. I never liked horseface. I

never liked. It's just not. That's terrible thing. That wouldn't be the one. There is no one. We have a great first lady. Wow. Wow. Nice save, bro. You could actually see his brain try to turn the car around and his mouth was driving. I didn't have an affair and I'm never had an affair and I'm actually I actually never had sex. Did you know that? I'm a virgin and the best and biggest virgin ever. By the way I do the worst Trump impersonation in the world. I suck at doing Trump. But yeah over the weekend, Trump kicked off his 2024 campaign in Waco, Texas.

I love that Trump's running for office and from the law at the same time. How great is that? He's going to be the first presidential candidate who's going to be giving speeches from his getaway car. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. My fellow Americans, we've got a lower inflation. car. Oh yeah. My fellow Americans, we've got to lower inflation, we've got to get a handle on China.

And most importantly we have to crack down on crime. You'll never take me alive, your pigs! Yeah, I think my trumped impersonation is getting better, don't you? You're just being nice, I knowthink my trumped impersonation is getting better, don't you? You're just being nice, I know, I love you. All right, let's move on to international news. Two weeks ago, the French government raised the retirement age from 62 to 64, setting off a wave of sometimes violent protests.

And while the protest definitely focused attention on the issue, at this point they've been going on for so long that they've become part of the, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thii, thii, thi, thi, thi, th issue, at this point they've been going on for so long that they've become part of the, how do you say, the ambience? Take a look at this viral video from France, diners in the city of Bordeaux, unfazed by demonstrators protesting against recent changes to the retirement age. Even with a raging fire nearby, these people are still managing to enjoy their wine and conversation at an outdoor cafe. Man, these people are so chill. I won't even sit next to the bathroom in a restaurant like that. And they're getting a table next to a riot.

But hey, the French aren't going to let a little fire get in the way of having an affair with another man's wife. Yeah, but I, what, you're French and you're offended? Give me, give me, give me. Ah, pouth-de-gau-bo-de-bo'-bo'e. But I guess I'm not surprised. If you want to scare the French, you've to do something to do something to do something to do something to do something to do something to do something to do something to do something, like to do something, like to do something, like to do something, like to do something, like to do something, like to do something, like wine in a box. What is this? Horse piece? I said, horse.

Not whores, okay, just in case. Yeah, I'm not getting canceled because of y'all. All right, the only unacceptable seat in a French cafe is sitting next to American tourists. I demand another table. They ordered California Bougelais. I'd rather sit in the fire. You know, I hope that couple's not on their first date because that's going to be hard to top. Imagine in five years, she's going to be like,

you never take me to violent protests anymore. All right, now let's move on to another story. When I first started talking with people about guest hosting the Daily Show, I said, you know, what I really want to do is spotlight some great Latinos in American society. And I think... Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Because I think, oh thank you. Yeah, because I think it's so

important to use my position to uplift the raza, you know. So let's spin the wheel and see who our first subject is going to be. George Santos, God help me. Wow. Wow. No, no, it's a, wow, yeah. George Santos, God help me. Well, you know what, to be fair, we can't really take blame for this guy because we don't even know if he's really Latino or not.

Okay. All right, so what do you do now? Hmm? take blame for this guy because we don't even know if he's really Latino or not. Okay? All right, so what do you do now? Congressman George Santos struck a deal of prosecutors in Brazil to settle a charge that he defrauded a shop clerk out of $1,300 worth of clothing and shoes. Under the deal, Santos will formally confess to the 2008 crime and paid damages to the victim. A lawyer for Santos requested the deal in lieu of a trial arguing that Santos is now gainfully employed and re-socialized. Those are his words. In 2010, the congressman told police that he wrote bad checks from a checkbook that he stole from an elderly man who his mother was caring for in order to purchase the items. Wow.

Wow, what a gigantic ass, which I know Brazilians are usually into, but not like this. Oh, that offends you? Come on. In a way, you have to respect Santos though, a lot of Republicans just want to end Social Security. But Santos has the balls to take an old man's wallet directly from his pocket. He actually stole from an elderly man his mother was caring for. And that's on top of stealing from a homeless veterans dying dog. Is there no bottom?

Is there nothing too low for this guy? George Santa sees a Make-a-wish kid and he says, oh, that's a jackpot. And finally, let's check it on Florida because you know they're at it again. Oh yeah. Last week a principal was forced to resign after parents complained that a sixth grade teacher showed a pornographic photo of Michelangelo's David. Like, I know you're saying to yourselves,

how is this controversial? It's Michelangelo for crying out live, but this is Florida. And Floridianian parents there are like, I don't care which Ninja Turtle carved it? You guys are sharp. You guys are sharp. Do you know how backward you seem when people in the 1500s seem more progressive than you? Medieval people's idea of medicine was drilling a hole in your

skull and pumping it full of mercury and Floridians, Floridians are going, these guys are just too sophisticated for us, you know? And if the David is a problem, they're really going to have a problem with the Venus to Milo. Oh yeah, oh yeah, not because of the breast, but because if you know your art history, she originally had two dicks for arms. Obviously you people are art historians. Look, and if they're going to ban any biblical figure, it should really clearly be Jesus. I mean, look at him in that f-b-boy pose. Hang it on the cross.

Okay, I'm sorry, guys. Excuse me. One minute, please. Oh, bless me, father, for I have sinned. I call Jesus a f-buck boy. Oh, bless me, father, for I have sinned. I call Jesus a f-bott. I know I'm gonna rot in hell, but the writers made me do it. I swear, I swear as the writers. All right, for more on this story, we go live to Florence, Italy, where Ronnie Chang is standing

in from the sacrifed statue of David. Hi. Don't you know, John. Yes. I'm immigally in front of David who from the looks of things just got out of a cold shower. I mean, I knew people in the past were smaller, but God damn, I mean, even if you adjust this penis for inflation, it's still a little underwhelming. All right. I mean, look at that. His balls are longer than his dick. I've never seen a guy

that can titty-foo himself with his own nuts. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, come on, man. We're here to talk about education, not body shame of biblical figure. Oh, okay. Are you telling me this isn't small? Come on, man. I mean, I don't know, I thought that was pretty big. All right, medium at least. Oh, yeah, John, this is medium, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure this is why they invented a telescope during the Renaissance,

so they could see this dude's dick. Ronnie, this is one of the most iconic works of all time. It's the Michael Jordan of Nudes. Everyone thinks it's great. Yeah, of course, because every guy who sees it is thinking, oh, thank God. I guess I'm not doing too bad. I mean, this statue is a huge confidence booster. Brubra, you gotta stop focusing on the dick. Come on.

Do you think it's messed up that you can't even show a statue in Florida schools now? No, it's why Florida rocks. They refuse to be cultured in any way. Books, banned, re-enhance art, banned, re-runs of queer eye, banned. Basically, if you can't shoot it or drive a monster truck over it, Florida thinks is gay and therefore banned. Don't you think this is bad for the kids? I mean they've lost a great opportunity to be inspired by art. Are you kidding me, John? Florida kids have the greatest opportunity right now.

If your school board is so stupid that they think the statue of David is pornographic, you can convince them anything is inappropriate. Yo Florida kids, tell your parents that algebra is to woke. All right? Hey, mom, this number also identifies as a letter? Or should I also identify as a letter? Ma'am, bang. Yo, it's the same with chemistry.

Just tell your parents you found out that oxygen is made out of the same atoms bonded together, so every time you breathe it's gay. Chemistry, banned. Ronnie, hold on, hold on, hold on. That's going to backfire on those kids. Come on, they're not going to graduate without knowing anything. Oh, they won't know anything. Oh, they can always they. they. they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. they won't. tho. they won't they won't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. than. than. than. than. than. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho tho. the the th a job on a Florida school board. Thank you. Thank you.

Ronnie Chang everybody. All right, when we come back I'll show you my worst audition tape so don't go, y'all. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Yo, I'm so excited to host this week. And thank you, thank you. And as I always say, it's such an honor to be a voice for Latinos on TV and film, but as I also always say, I wish the honor wasn't so rare. Hollywood still struggling with representation on screen. According to a 2020 study by the US-S. Annaburg inclusion initiative, Latino performers

appearing in only 5% of speaking roles in 2019's top 100 movies, despite being 18% of the total US population. I mean yeah, I mean it's crazy. Latinos are almost 20% of the country, but we're barely represented in film the the the the the the the representation the representation the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the representation. the representation. the representation. the representation. the representation. the representation on representation on representation on representation on representation on representation on representation on representation on representation on. te's te's te's te's representation. te's representation. te's representation. te's representation. te's representation. te's representation. te's representation. te's te's representation. te's representation. te's representation. te's. te's. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tethe total US population. I mean, yeah. I mean, it's crazy. Latinos are almost 20% of the country, but we're barely represented in film and television, especially since every movie last year took place in the multiverse. Come on. You're telling me there ain't one dimension that's in the Heights? Come on. And then when there is a good Latino role, it's going to people like James Franco. Well guess what? If white people can take our roles, I'm gonna take theirs.

That's right, when they do the TV series based on Gwyneth Paltrow's ski accident trial, I'ma be Gweneath Poultro. He hit me so hard, he knocked the egg right out of my vagina. Try not to visualize that, please. The truth is, I myself have faced this type of discrimination. I mean, I can't tell you how many times in my career I've been told that auditions that I sound too Latino, not Latino enough, that Latinos don't want to watch other Latinos, all sorts of madness.

And sometimes I wish I could put all those casting directors and executives into one room and bring you guys in with me just to hear the kind of shit that I've been told. Luckily it turns out the Daily Show has the technology to do just that. You're gonna be all right, I promise you. And scene. Wow, that was quite spectacular, John. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm impressed. You're very articulate. Oh yeah, and no accent. Full sentences. Huh? John, I almost forgot you're not white. Oh yeah, me too, me too. And can you imagine if you were white, Superstar alert?

Mm-hmm. You'd be one of the big white guys, like Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Tom Hardy. Spitball. Have you thought of changing your name to Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom? Oh yeah, or how about a Tom, Legitwitamo and do a double Tom thing, you know? Oh, I like that. Hey, Tom, Tom, let me ask you something. Can you do a little more Latin? Yes, yes, yes, but also less Latin? So wait, more or less Latin? Exactly. Just do what you did in the George Lopez show.

I'm not, I'm not in the George Lopez show. Right, right. I might be thinking of George Lopez. I just don't understand what you mean by, do it less Latin? Well, John, Latin people don't want to see Latin people. They want to see white people. White people named Tom. Well, you know how there's hot salsa and mild salsa, well, people want ketchup.

Well, speaking of anybody you want to hit? Oh, hell you're a chup. Oh, hell, yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. th. th. th. th. th. th. What's in that? Tomato? All right, right, let's pick up the top. And this time, John, can you do us a version that's a little more, you know, street? Aren't it playing a doctor? A Latin doctor? Yeah, but who's not Latin? Oh, but hold his pina just in case.

Oh, you're welcome. Hey, hey, you're welcome. Hey, what the hell's wrong with you guys? Hey, hey, wait, wait. Pendeho was loco. All right. All right, stay tuned because when we come back, my home girl, the outspoken Anna Navar will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. Bye ya. Anna Navar will be joining me on the show, so don guest tonight is an Emmy nominated co-host of The View.

She's also a CNN political commentator and one of the most badass Latinas walking this planet. Please welcome Anna Navarro. Can you look so beautiful? Look at that, look at that. A lot, it's a bonita. Oh, great. Here we go. You're great. Can you believe it? Look at that?

A Latina guest and a Latino host. To the people at home, you're not watching Univision. It's okay. It's still a daily show. Listen, part of me wants you not to emphasize it, because I'm afraid immigration might show up at any moment. Oh, they ain't getting new. And then again, and then I remember, Donald Trump's no longer president.

We ain't getting deported. I love it. You start right out of it, you go out and right out of the gate, I love that about you. Listen, it's only taken 10 hosts for them to have a Latino host. Who's counting? I wasn't counting. I'm really happy that you're here and I always, I'm always grateful to you because you do, you are so consistent. You've been consistent in your entire life in elevating voices. Oh, I have to, I have it. Elevated. Thank you, thank you. So listen, it's taken 10, let's not fuck it up.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to f- this way we can. Look at this great audience that we got here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They love it when you toss it to them. They just want to see themselves on camera. Anyway, you know, Republicans are so good at coming after Latinos. I mean, they go to our WhatsApp, they go to our Spanish stations.

They throw in the trigger words like, a socialism and authoritarianism. Why are the Democrats falling behind? Why are the Democrats not coming after us? Listen, I think, first of all, they take it for granted, right? I think a lot of people thought, you know, they're not gonna vote for Donald Trump. They, I mean, that's the alternative. Of course, they're gonna vote for the Democrats, and that's not the way to do it.

Also, people need to show up. And this is the same for African Americans, for Latinos, for any group. Put in the group here. Don't show up at the last minute and expect to get the end. And they have to fight hard against this socialism, communism type of label. I remember Joe Biden getting asked at a town hall, in BC Town Hall. I remember him getting asked, you know, your opponent, Donald Trump says that you're a socialist,

are you a socialist? And he laughed. He laughed, and he said, do I look like a socialist? Now, I get where he's coming from, right? If somebody said to me, you know, are you a Martian? I would laugh too. But we need more than laughter. We need him to come back with it. We need him to fight back. You know what we need him to say? We need him to say, let me tell you what socialists do. They attack the free press. They attack political opponents. They

attack private businesses. Guess who's doing that in America today? Right, right, right. See, you know what's happening, you know what's up, you know what time it is. That's why I love talking to you because you know what is going on. Also, how we get divided sometimes. Latino people get divided. Is it us doing it? Is it them doing it to us? I mean,icaragans, Cubans, Colombians, Puerto Ricans, aren't we stronger together and better together? It's like, I mean, don't we know how to do math? Listen, by themselves, Cubans are 3.5% right. Mexican Americans are 11%. Oh, together we're almost 20%. And guess what? If we build alliances with other groups like African-Americans, we are unstoppable. Black and Brown together, man. Black and brown together, we're so strong together.

Why aren't we getting together the Black Caucus, the Latino Caucus in D. We also need the gay caucus because we need to accessorize. Oh yeah. Yeah. But we, you know, what we need to understand these different communities is that we can't fall victim. We can't fall prey to, let's compete for the same small piece of pie. No damn it, give me a bigger piece of pie. So that we all can eat.

And we need to understand that we rise upwards together. Absolutely. It's too easy to to to to to to to to to pit to pit to pit to pit to pit to pit to pit to pit to pit to understand that we rise upwards together. Absolutely. It's too easy to pit us against each other, right? Preach, mama, preach. Too easy. Yeah, mama, italis. And we have to, and not only do they,

what's it? What are the problem? What is it? The problem is that we get focused on, uh, did they cross the border or that the border crossed us. Were they political refugees or are they economic refugees? Were they rich before the revolution in Cuba, Venezuela, Nicaragua, or that they come here because they were poor? Who cares? This is much I know, John. Yeah.

The people who hate you, the people who hate me, don't care how much of your DNA came from Indan. They care that you're a Latino and they want to otherize us. So as soon as, and the quicker we realize that and that we have to ban together and fight against discrimination, bigotry, the more powerful we will be and not fall praise to this kind of stupidity. Baby, that's why I love you because you bring the truth. She brings it, yeah. Together we're going to do it, baby,

Brotherhood and Unity together, we're going to do it. And congratulations on your new show. Oh, thank you. You do that. You focus on the different groups and you say, we're all all better together, stronger together. Absolutely. Thank you, Ann Arnavara. You're the best. Amazing, amazing. Amazing. Be sure to check out the view weekdays on ABC.

Okay, we're going to take a quick pee break, but we'll be right back after this because I've been drinking too much damn coffee. That's our show for tonight. But before we go, please consider supporting Voto Latino. There are grassroots organization focused on educating and empowering young Latino voters. their grassroots organization focused on educating and empowering young Latino voters. So if you can't support them in their work, please donate at the link below. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.