The Daily Show: Ears Edition - John Leguizamo Takes On Pence Being Ordered to Testify About Jan 6 | Princess Nokia

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

John Leguizamo takes on the latest news including the NFL allowing players to have "0" as their number, the Dutch man being sued after father at least 550 children, the Wisconsin Supreme Court race that could affect the 2024 election, and Mike Pence being ordered to testify about Jan 6. Multi-hyphenate Princess Nokia discusses how John Leguizamo and Martin Lawrence are her biggest inspirations and why she decided to allow herself to be publicly vulnerable with her new EP.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. It's my third night behind the desk. What's up? What's up? Welcome to the Daily Show. Likewamo here in the house. Oh yeah. It's my third night behind the desk and I've been getting some great feedback so far.

I mean mostly from my mom. So I asked her what she thought of the show last night and she was like, I'm sorry, but meho I fell asleep after the wheel of fortune, but I'm sure you were great, meho. And I was. But yeah, we got a great show for you tonight. Oh, so let's get into the headlines.

All right. Let's kick things off with some sports. The NFL has announced that it will allow its players to put the number zero on their jersey's next season for the first time ever. Meanwhile, the Jets announced that they'll put zero on the scoreboard for the 40th season in a row. Hey! Hey! No, seriously, I think this is a great way for football players to celebrate the amount

of brain cells they'll have left when they retire. I know that's so fucked up, but it's true. Okay, let's move on to some international news. Overseas, a Dutchman is facing legal action for allegedly fathering at least 550 children. The 41-year-old is a sperm donor. He's accused, though, of lying about the number of kids he's fathered through sperm banks violating agreements. Limits are placed on donors to protect children's health.

It's unclear what legal ramifications he could face. Holy shit! Come on! He donated enough sperm for 550 kids? God damn, dude! Say something for the shower, bruh! What? But in this guy's defense, when you're this cool, you have an obligation to procreate.

I mean, who want to get knocked up by this sperm? But still, though, this is going to make for some awkward conversations. Mommy, what's my biological father like? Honey, all I know about him is, he love to jack off. Good night, honey. All right, let's move on to Wisconsin, because they're about to have an election for the state Supreme Court that's hugely important, and not just for there, but for the whole god-dam country.

And it's a little complicated to explain why in a short time, but fortunately I'm a Latino New Yorker and I can talk very fast. All right. I know you're with me. I know you're with me. Yeah, I know. I know.

All right. So let me break it down for you in my new segment, a New York minute. Hit the clock. Okay, here's what's that state. One abortion. When Roy v. Wade was overturned, Wisconsin automatically went back to strict anti-abortion law from 1849. That is so long ago. You know what the number one movie was in 1849? Nothing! They weren't invented yet. If the liberal wins, she can abort that law. Two gerrymandering. Republicans have permanently stolen the state legislature. A liberal judge can abort that law. Two, gerrymandering. Republicans have permanently stolen the state legislature.

A liberal judge can fix that shit. It's more technical than that, but I don't have the fucking time to explain it. Three, Donald Trump, that mother's fucking try. Oh, shit. Shit. Just both. Okay. Just both, okay? And finally, let's move on to the major news about the arrest of Donald Trump, which is

that... Trump still has not been arrested. But don't worry, because there's still 50 other investigations going on into Trump. And one of them is about to feature a surprise witness. In a major ruling, a federal judge has ordered former vice president Mike Pence to testify before a grand jury about former president Trump. Pence has been ordered to give testimony in the special counsel investigation of Trump's attempts to overturn the 2020 presidential election.

The judge ruled private exchanges between Trump and Pence are not off limits. Prosecutors are focused on conversations the two men had on January 6th and also in the days leading up to the capital attack. The conversations before January 6th when Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on the phone, and Donald Trump apparently was berating him, calling him names, that sort of thing in this criminal investigation. He is gonna have to share that. Oh, come on, man, don't make Pence say all the names

that Trump called him. Yo, that could take weeks. These jury members have families to go home too. Although, as a viewer, it's something I'd like to see, actually. President Trump brought me into his office and called me a little mashed potato boy. A jerk off for Jesus. A silver-haired baby bitch. He called me the white Mitt Romney.

I already know what that means. He said if I didn't overturn the election, he would, I mean, how would I put this? Make love to me in the hole where the pupoo comes out. Now for more on this story we go live to the courthouse and Roywood Jr. What's that happening, John? Yeah, man. Roy, what do you think about Pence having to testify against Trump? I think this is about to be the whitest trial of all time. You got Mike Pence, you got Donald Trump. That's about to be whiter than the Guinefaltro case.

And that case got snow, skin, and Gwenta fowl. Roy, that's a good point. And it seems like Pence really doesn't want to testify. Of course he doesn't. Trump's supporters are going to try to kill him again. And some of those supporters are women. So Mike Pence is double scared. According to his beliefs, if you get killed by a woman, you go to super hell.

You're to super hell. You're the super hell and they don't even get your bathroom breaks in super hell. Yeah, it's almost like an Amazon warehouse. Mm-hmm. But, but there's a way out for Mike Pence. There's a way out for Donald Trump, but neither one of them are gonna like it. If Pence doesn't want to testify against Trump, then Trump and Pence gotta get married. Wait. Wait. What? What are you going to make, Pence?

What? What? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what? What are you talking about? the law on orders, even the bad spinoffs. Okay, okay, but still, how can they be married? They hate each other.

All married people hate each other. It's not like hating your spouse would be a big adjustment for Trump. Hell, Melani would be so happy that Trump's getting married to Pence. She'd walk him down the aisle herself. Who presents this band for marriage? Me do, Melania. Go out there, Donna. And also, let's just be real about this, John. Trump and Pets get married.

They might just end up hitting it off. Maybe they fall in love. Maybe they adopt a child this John. Trump and Pets get mad, they might just end up hitting it off. Maybe they fall in love. Maybe they adopt a child together. The kid grows up to be the whitest kid in history. A kid, a kid so white, he can gentrify a building just by touching it. I'm talking about, talking about super white. That he don't even have to go to Coachella. He just summoned Coachella around him. He just... Right.

Right, right. Right, right. Right, right. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on. Come on, focus. Fockelea, please. theymea.

He's, I'm sorry, man, I gotta go, dog. I need to do something black to rebalance myself. I'll holl you, but hey, can somebody deny me a bank loan? How you doing, sir? Hey! Well, thank you, Roy. Roywood, Jr. everybody. Go away. All right. Oh wow. My guest tonight is the queen of the New York Underground, a rapper, songwriter, and actor, and a new EP is called

I Love You, but this is Goodbye. Please welcome Princess Nokia. Look at that reception. Oh, man. They love you. Yeah. Look at that reception. Oh, man. They love you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, you're a high, you're a multi-hyphenate, a singer, actor, actor, voice actor. Bullshitter. Oh, no. But isn't the idea of being very successful to have to work less? Yes.

I mean, some would say, working hard or not smarter. I am a multi-hyphanet. I've done so many things, musician, actress, comedian, director, songwriter. And what drives that? what drives all that? Oh, creativity, you know, the need to want to express myself, taking boredom and, you know, they say, bored idleness is the devil's playground. Yeah, yeah, and I don't ever want to be in the devil's playground. I just want to have fun. Yeah, and you do it, your work is so powerful. I mean, I'm so inspired by you. And you chose your stage name Nokia because the telephone is so undistructable and you're

indestructible. I would say so. It's a Finnish company at the time I was using Obama phones because you know we was just that poor. So I couldn't call myself Princess Obama phone and I just... Not the same ring. No, I was too young to have an Okiah. But I chose something with a futurist angle because I liked the idea of having something old and new. And they, you know, Disney princesses, all their moms are dead and my mom's dead. So I figured, well, let me add a little dead humor to that as well. I love the way th. th. th. th. th. the the the the way the the way the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theateateate, I to to to theateateate, I'm to to to to to to told told told told told told told to some, I to some, I to some some, I to some some some some some some some some some some, I to some some some some some, I to thoes, I to to to thoes, I to to to to to told to the, I told told the, I the, I'm told told me the so soo. I'm told me told me told me told me too, I'm, I'm soo, I'm told, I'm told told me too, I too, I told me you mix it all together. It's amazing. We're both street kids. Yes we are. You know, I went to the Fresh Air Fund. I survived the New York City

public school system. How do you use your street, streetness and your lens of the Latinida to do your storytelling? Oh well I was really fortunate to grow up in an extremely vivid, cultural upbringing. You know, being Afro-Indiogynas was what I was supposed to do on the weekend. When my girlfriends was playing double-dutch and hanging rope, I was at Pow-Wiowels, just like, why, you know, like, I loved my upbringing, but it's funny because there's so many intersections of my childhood and there's the public school, you know, being in Jefferson Park with my friends, and then there was the times where I didn't connect with my friends, where I didn't get to have sneakers or, you know, be wearing lip gloves that I had to, you know, go to ceremonies or do

go to the UN to do a performance or something of the sort. But I think that, you know, I'm very straight, I'm very protective. You know, I was taught to fight with my words in my hands. Oh yeah. And be vivacious and be protective. And I am protective of myself and my loved ones. Yeah, no, that comes out in your work. I mean, I'm such a big fan of your work because, you know, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I thia, I thia, I thia, I to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm a, and I'm a, and I'm a, and I'm a, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, too, too, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, toe, toe, toe, toa out in your work. I mean, I'm such a big fan of your work, because, you know, I feel like I see myself in you,

you know, and it revitalizes me as an older artist, seeing like the young Latinas that have, you know, such self-worth and strength and vivasity. And not afraid of their power and strength. Yeah. I was telling John, I was telling John, I was telling, I was telling, to the crowd, is the camera here, here, I was telling John earlier that he's one of my biggest inspirations, is him and Martin Lawrence that created my identity.

Yeah. I feel like more in love. You're about the same height. We're both short kings. I'm there too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like I watched freak, sex-aholic, spickorama, ghetto clown, you know, like, Jesus Christ. And they let you watch that inappropriate crap?

Come on. They allowed me to watch it. It was the, it was our household thing. We saw you and we saw ourselves. That's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That. That. That. That. It the same. It the same. It the same the same. It's the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the same. It's. It's the same. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It was. It was, the same. It was, the same. It was, the the the same. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was the same. It was household thing. It's we saw you and we saw ourselves. That's beautiful. Thank you, thank you for it. I mean, when I wrote my stuff, I wanted to write it for all the young Latino kids that weren't seeing themselves and that they felt invisible and I wanted them to feel like I saw them. You know, that's why I wrote it.

Now, you got your new EP coming out, right? It's already out. Oh it's already out. That's okay. Everything is misinformed. But this is about love, right? This is about love, though. This is the first time you're talking about love. You've never been this vulnerable before? No. Why now? It was it was the time. It was I was speaking. I always speak from my heart. I always speak from a personal experience. You know, 1992 covers my my life as a child growing up and all the intersections of my life from childhood to adult. You know, girl cut red is about my love from rock music. Everything is beautiful. Is a neo soul jazz album with R&B, everything sucks, kind of had

like a ICP effect to it, it was a little bit more fun. In this I stripped it down, I wanted to sing, I would say when I MC I'm happy, when I sing, I'm sad, like when I got the blues I sing. So I had the blues and I was gonna get married and that dress and I didn't and I like using,to get married in that dress, and I didn't. And I like using, no, it's OK. That's, it's OK. Like, I'm a young woman. And I said this to Billboard and the insider. I said, everyone is so used to me being a rapper, the strong woman,

the soup thrower, you know, the voice of a generation. But no one has ever heard me or and I've never allowed myself to be that vulnerable I don't talk about my personal life like online so no one would know who I'm dating No one knows who I'm talking about. It's no one I've ever posted publicly so someone could have an idea and they completely have no idea what's going on. So I put all of these intricate things about a failed relationship, but the takeaway of the project is really that that person was in turn and excuse me that person allowed me to feel love they allowed me to feel a little something you know I hadn't felt I hadn't dated in like five

years oh wow and like I think that like I just you know hooked up with my child sweetheart and we had a love tunnel and it was fabulous and it was it was hot and saucy and sexy and then then scary th I th and like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I the like I the like I th I the like I the like I the like I the like I the like I the the the the the the the enter in in in in in enter in enter in enter in the in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in enter in in enter in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in I the in I the in I the in I the in I the in I the in I the in I the in I the in I the in I th in I th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the tu. turn. tu. term. tu. term. tu. the tre. And we had a love tunnel and it was fabulous. And it was hot and saucy and sexy and then scary. But then, but then scary. And then we were going to get married and it was going to be amazing. And then I left because it didn't serve me. Right, right. And I spoke to God and said, okay. and but it I I tell him he's

listened to the music he loves the project he we were still good friends you know that's beautiful we were a part I know I I want to go back to the that soup thing what happened what happened what happened in that soup thing I've never talked about it publicly I'm so you're kidding you I'm not kidding I don't know if you all you all know what the the you all I you all I you all I you all the the you all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the she's going to tell you now. I've never spoken about it publicly because public attention gives me nervous and I was on the front of the metro or in the metro and I was like, oh my god, my name's like in the paper. Right, because it went viral, that video went viral. I still don't realize that I'm a person of interest, like for me, I'm just destiny. Well if you throw soup hot soup in somebody's face you're gonna be of interest to a lot of people. This is

what happened. This is from this is from the horse's mouth. Before that man started saying slurs a group of young men who are like on a best world team black and Latino brothers and I remember thinking wow look at kids getting air being outside being healthy being healthy, playing sports. That's a beautiful thing. You look, oh, my people, look at, oh, look at the young men, being a gentleman. Okay, and the, this man came onto the train

and he bumped them purposely. And that was the first thing I seen. I seen an adult bumper child. And I thought off, he drunkenly just said these end words. And I got up and I said, how dare you? And I just sucked him in the a a-ah. And he called me. Wait, but you pu, you pu it.

Yeah. Oh, wow. So I didn't want to say that. I said it on Twitter once, but I don't want to say that to publications in case he tried to sue me. But you know, I was like, oh man, you got some money now. So that's actually what happened. There was a whole discourse before the soup. The soup is what happens very last. What I say is, you're not about to talk about black people like that.

their thate. I would never, like, thin't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, so, so. that, so. that, so. that, so. that, like, so. that make my skin crawl. I don't like that. And you can't stay quiet because if you stay quiet then you're kind of guilty. Well, people stay quiet because people are crazy. You don't know what they're capable of. He could have punched me back. He could have sped me. He could have spitted me. And I had been punched back before standing up for my soul. I got really lucky. Then he started hurling racial slurs at me. And when I said what I said, I said to him very distinctly, you don't ever talk about people like that, don't ever fix your mouth to say something like that. A whole bunch of men came to my aid.

And it was brothers, and people just, it was like, the train of New York just came behind my back. And these two brothers, they looked at me, said, we got you to this. I said, okay. And then we, and then everybody, like white, black, polka dot red, was like, you can't talk like that, that's not okay. Right, that's not okay. It was not okay. It was, the white men going to, thrown. thoo, th... You're gonna make me cry. That kind of stuff makes me cry when we're all together.

Because we all collectively threw him off the train. It was the... You see the men? Oh man, that's beautiful. And then I had just went to Panera Bread and got me a butternusquil and I... That was my thing. Brooklyn and you know be a New Yorker and and I was like well shit I excuse me I'm sorry Well you can curse you this is all right oh man well they've heard worse he done

Don't got in my face he done made a fool of himself he about to get this soup too so I just I was like you know what I've already punched them I've already done that that's all off camera I said I remember I went to get my bag because I was like, oh my god, my bag. And then I was like, soo, and then I was like, so you know, without even thinking about it, without even thinking about it, it took two seconds. I swear to God, it was from 14th Street to the first stop. So you know that underground tunnel is like like like like like like like like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that under, that under that, that, that, that, that, that, that underground, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, the their, their, their, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, to, they, too, too, too, too, too, they. I the they, their, they, the minutes. So it's like it felt like a long time but it was just one train stop. And it was it was it was wild the night and I stand behind that you know I was taught I was taught to always if you are about something be about something and I would never strike my brother sister unless they you know provoke you first. But when it comes to defending blackness or you know Latina being you know, that I am

mixed with. Anybody is vulnerable, yeah. Absolutely. And we were just at a point in the time, like in society where that rhetoric was just so oh, you know, and I just, I caught that man in his face. I'm, I caught that man in his face. Because you got it like that. She's a poetist, a singer, ss sensitive, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer singer, a singer singer singer singer singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer singer singer singer singer singer, a singer, ss.s.s.s.s.s.s. A singer. A ss. A ss. A ss. A ss. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a singer, a's a poetist, a singer, sensitive, and she can knock you out. I mean, you're the perfect woman.

I'm pretty frail. But I would like to think that I can always, you know, if a friend is in need, I can help. Well, I'm a friend in need. If you ever need me, I got your back. I love you. Thank you for coming. I love you, but this is good guys available now. Okay, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go, please consider supporting the Fresh Air Fund. They provide free outdoor summer experiences to children from New York City's undiserved communities.

And I was one of them. They took my brother, me and my cousin, and it was it was life-changing and if you can I really appreciate if you donate to them at the link below. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.