The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jon Stewart on Israel and Iran Going to War, Minnesota Murders & MAGA’s Blame Game | John Mulaney

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Jon Stewart breaks down Netanyahu’s “urgent” strike on Iran’s nuclear program, MAGA's sustained focus on battling protesters and immigrants in Democratic cities, and how Trump’s unattended parade of weaponry explains America's muted response to the Minnesota assassination. John Mulaney, actor, writer, comedian, and host of the Netflix show “Everybody’s Live,” fought three 14-year-old boys on the finale of his talk show and lived to tell Jon Stewart the tale. They get deep into fighting strategies, masculinity, father-son competition, the guy who threw his shoes at George W. Bush, and more. Plus, a game of Daily Show Interview Guest Jeopardy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is the Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart! -♪ -♪ -♪ -♪ -♪

Hi! -♪ Boom! Yeah, welcome to the Daily Show! My name is Jon Stewart. I got a little picture of the day going for you. What's happening? We got a show for you tonight. My God. John Mulaney's going to be joining me right now.

Fresh off of his hit Netflix show, Squid Game. First, let me just say this to start off. F***! This is start off. Weekend. This weekend. Terrible. Again. I'm so sorry.

Friday. We were in the office on Friday. We planned a very fun show. It was going to be light on. We were going to come out here and we were going to be like, oh, my God, I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy.

I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to be so happy. Friday, we planned a very fun show. It was going to be light on.

We were going to come out here, talk about little Kim Jong Trump and his big military parade slash Kinseniera and how it meant that we all live in North Korea now. All the hyperbole of this massive display of American military power really butted up against what the parade actually was, which was this. Was that... Was that tank...

Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking?

Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? Was that tank squeaking? We have a trillion dollar budget for the military? Nobody's got WD-40. Squeaky tank, nobody can just go in there. This was less a show of overwhelming force and more like a military museum getting in

its steps. It was actually kind of nice and fun. It took you through the history of the army from its days of tri-cornered hats and muskets to its brave future as robot dog walkers. Hey, hey, hey. Who's going to clean up these ball bearings? You're just going to... Oh.

Oh. Oh. Who's got a three kiloton explosive nose? You do. You do. You do. Can I boop? No, probably not. But for all the hype, it was a relatively reserved,

not particularly well attended event that left all the VIPs lucky enough to see it bored out of their fucking minds. Meanwhile, the real crowds turned out for the No Kings March, where millions gathered in cities all across the country to protest our slow descent into authoritarian dystopia. They protested and showed off all the hats they made. And in Boston, the No Kings Parade conveniently coincided with the Pride Parade.

And it was in a... Wait a minute! Hold... The gays have developed robot dogs as well? The gays have the advanced technology? Or are those just the gay robot dogs that Secretary of Defense Hegseth wouldn't allow to serve openly in our other army. Is that... They're not allowed to serve. Well guess what, Secretary Hegseth?

They are serving. The point is, no kings appear to beousing success, and the military parade's failure to succeed in its grandiose objectives can be described in really this one Fox News clip, and I promise you, we did not edit this in any way. If I was the Ayatollah watching Fox News coverage, which I hope he is, of this parade, I would be very frightened, and I would be very frightened and I would be thinking twice about whether I want to retaliate against the United States. The Ayatollah would be frightened. they're waving. Does the Ayatollah know the Americans have obtained jazz hands?

Surrender or dance! But as always, reality was no match for President Donald Trump, who set a very specific and low bar of success for his birthday parade. Last night was a tremendous success with a fantastic audience. It was supposed to rain. They gave it a 100% chance of rain and it didn't rain at all. It was beautiful. Nothing says I just turned 79.

Like shouting about how the weather forecast was wrong. It was a tremendous success. They said it would rain, I knew it wouldn't rain, you know how I knew. My right knee didn't bark. It's gonna rain, it always barks. You see? That show about that stuff? Fun, carefree, light, enjoyable.

Old man talking weather, gay robot dogs. The world that could have been you, the viewer, would have enjoyed. But the reason why we couldn't spend the whole show on the parade, perhaps the reason why the parade wasn't as extravagant as it could have been, was because our most impressive military ship this weekend was being used elsewhere. Tonight, Israel announcing it has launched a military strike against Iran.

Smokes seen rising in Tehran in video posted online. And overnight, Iranian strikes in Israel. Retaliation, it says, for Israel's attack on its nuclear, military and energy infrastructure. Now there are concerns about how much this could escalate. Could? Could escalate? The whole region is escalate. It's all on fire.

This is a wedding video from Lebanon over the weekend. The people should be in need of a secret border. Missiles, fireworks, doesn't matter. I now pronounce you man and duck. But what happened with Iran? Weren't we about to make a nuclear deal? Wasn't our dealmaker in chief making a deal to keep Iran from enriching uranium? Actually, didn't we have a deal before our dealmaker in chief so wisely pulled us from that deal? Why did this have to go balmy on Iran now?

And by next spring, at most by next summer, at current enrichment rates, they will have finished the medium enrichment and move on to the final stage. Ah! Iran is months away from having a nuclear bomb. It says Netanyahu in 2012. By the way, did Iran happen to get that bomb from a company called Acme? Will it be delivered to Israel on rocket-powered skates?

Will it go off in a tumultuous meep-meep? Seriously, why did we have to bomb Iran now? Iran is so dangerous, weeks away from having the fissile material for an entire arsenal of nuclear bombs. Holy shit, that's why. Iran's only weeks away from having an entire arsenal of nuclear bombs, says Netanyahu. In 2015! from having an entire arsenal of nuclear bombs, says Netanyahu, in 2015. 2015!

Think about that. Back when we all thought, oh no, the Republicans might nominate that madman Jeb Bush. Should have gone with the question mark. No, seriously, I'm not being facetious. I really want to know why we had to bomb Iran now. We're going to show you Iran's secret nuclear files. Here's the warhead. Here's the bomb.

And that's from 2018. I don't know if Iran is any closer to having a bomb, but it is clear. Israel now has the capacity to enrich their drawings. Netanyahu! I swear to God! Netanyahu talks about Iran getting nukes the way I talk about the Knicks winning a title. This is the year. The Knicks are one piece away, weeks away from winning a title.

They never win a f***ing title. Of course, a hot war between Israel and Iran could threaten the United States. It's best we stay out of it. Secretary of State Marco Rubio saying, Israel took unilateral action against Iran and that the US is not involved in strikes. We're not involved. That's good.

The US says it was informed beforehand. Good neighbor policy Samit. We were informed. Let us know. We're still not being involved really. President Trump acknowledged yesterday that he was aware of the Israeli operation and he gave it a green light. They don't know what they're talking about.

We were told we approved. It's still Israel's game. Israel used American equipment during its initial strikes against Iran. What the f*** are we doing? Alright so we knew. And we approved. And we gave them all the shit to do it with. I'm confused.

Are we involved? I think I need clarification from our parade grand marshal in chief. The president made it clear that the United States is not involved. He wanted to make that very clear. But at the same time, it's possible that we could get involved, but we're not

involved at this moment. See we're Switzerland. Perhaps the reason why the president is being cagey about all this is because not all of the MAGA are embracing Netanyahu's bomb fetishes. We cannot be dragged into, and actually dragged into, a war in the Middle East. We put America first, and that means American interests first. Our MAGA base, they do not want the United States to be engaged in this.

I don't know anyone that wakes up and thinks about bombing Iran. She doesn't know anyone who wakes up and thinks about bombing Iran. I got to tell you, I don't think she knows anyone who wakes up and thinks. But credit... They enjoyed that. But you know what?

I'm going to say this. It may surprise some people, credit where credit is due. I certainly have tremendous policy and, in some instances, space laser differences with these folks. But I applaud any group that is steadfast in a diplomacy-first posture. The only problem with their posture that I see with it

is their reluctance to commit America's military to fighting drawn- out and often pointless wars doesn't seem to extend to America. President Trump should fully deploy the military in the streets. Take back the streets of LA. Do it and do it fast. Huh?

Doesn't want to be in Iran. He wants to be in LA. He doesn't want to deploy the military overseas. He wants to save the military for the real threat, us. He's not being hypocritical. It's just f***ing mind-blowing. The MAGA mindset appears to be we didn't vote for foreign wars. We voted for civil war.

This is a war. The battle for America was going to take place in Los Angeles. The only way to win here is to double and triple down. The current war that we are seeing waged by the Democrats, by the foreign nationals waving Mexican flags. The city of Los Angeles is an occupied city. It is time to retake the cities of this country. It is time to use force. What the f***? They are looking for any pretense. They are looking for any pretense

to sic their robot dogs on Democrats. And the strategy that they're using is to inflate the threat that this country now faces. To so rile up their base as to make the left that this country now faces to so rile up their base as to make the left in this country, represented by over 75 million votes in the past presidential election, as a legitimate military target

for the United States of America. It's a strategy that's been used before to gin up military conflict. See if you recognize it. The good people of Iraq. They want a peaceful country. They want security for good people of Los Angeles deserve to be secure in their homes are not going anywhere until there

is a stable environment we're not going anywhere we're here to maintain the peace liberate Iraq from the tyranny. Liberate the city from the socialists. We will liberate the people of Iraq. We will liberate Los Angeles. We must! They don't understand yet. We must invade Los Angeles.

We cannot have the world's most dangerous people eating the world's most delicious tacos. It's so fucking absurd to paint the opposition party in your country as a fifth column, an enemy from within. But again, I don't want to overreact. I don't want to strain the metaphor too much. It's not like the right is calling for the need for a kind of Iraq-like debathification

program to remove Democrats from government post-liberation. We need like a debathification program. Fire every single mid-level bureaucrat, every civil servant in the administrative state, replace them with our people. They're insane. By the way, was that guy's beard used to color JD Vance's eyes? So there you have it.

We've got Israel stoking foreign wars. We've got the right in this country pushing for domestic war. And I haven't even gotten to the one thing this weekend that was actually really so f***ed up. It's almost too much show. You know, in fact, I'm going to break form. Let's take an intermission. I'm sorry. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! All right. Here we go. All right. Intermission over. Thank you. Welcome back to the show. All right. This is the kind of shit that I hate having to do on the show, but as you know, Minnesota was the site of horrible violence where a state house leader and her husband were killed. A state senator and his wife were shot. The only positive is that the person who perpetrated these acts has finally been caught. Finally. Final. But what I was really struck by is what seemed to be on everybody's mind in the midst of

this horror. This morning a lot of questions remain like what was his motive? Why a motive? Why did you do this? When do we learn about motive? Everyone wants to know why bill is roommate He says that the suspect was a Trump supporter. This is a Tim Waltz appointee. This is a Democrat I'm gonna be honest and I truly mean this I mean, I mean no disrespect

like I Don't give a fuck Why this person did it? I just don't give a fuck why this person did it. I just don't give a fuck. I don't care. I don't care whose team he's on. I don't care if he listens to NPR or Fox News. I don't give a flying fuck. What blows my mind is our resignation in the aftermath of this nonsense.

What are you going to do? I don't know. Put a shit ton of funding in the aftermath of this nonsense. What are you going to do? I don't know, put a shit ton of funding into mental health funding, put a shit ton of money into illegal weapons interdiction. Maybe that chip, maybe, maybe, what do you call it there? Maybe the chip that Bill Gates had injected in all of us during COVID could have a self-destruct button? Take people out before they do this shit? For God's sakes, can't we do that? Grubhub knows when I want pizza.

You don't think Grubhub doesn't know when people are getting murderous? What's the difference between hungry and angry? What's the difference? We're willing to do things about other issues. We just heard about it. Why are they attacking Los Angeles right now. Why is the right so willing to tear our cities apart in this moment.

Dangerous criminals continue to flood our nation and kill our citizens this has to stop I mean I think about it for my crane kids I mean how safe are they in this society? one woman or one child violated by an illegal alien is one too many the alarm bells are going off a long time ago a lot of democrats will defend this and say well you know it's such a small percentage

they have blood on their hands pure and simple one is too. One is too many. One is too many. One death. By the way, true, it is too many. Violence should never be accepted. It should never be tolerated. But that's for their issue.

In the wake of Sandy Hook and Uvalde and Parkland and El Paso and Lewiston and Aurora and Buffalo and Boulder and Binghamton and Highland Park and Monterey Park and San Bernardino and San Jose and San Francisco and the Pulse nightclub and the Colorado Springs night Club and the Colorado Springs Night Club and the Little Rock Night Club and the Borderline Bar in Thousand Oaks and the Ned Pepper's Bar in Dayton and the Waffle House in Nashville

and Virginia Tech and UVA and MSU and UCSB and FSU and NIU and SMC and the Sutherland Springs Church and the Mother Emmanuel Church in Charleston and the Living Church of God and the Tree of Life Synagogue and the Allen Mall and the West Roads Mall and Fort Hood and Lockheed Martin and what are we f***ing doing? What are we doing? By the way, by the way, that is a wildly incomplete list. We kept it to the last 25 years and it's still not everything. And what's their response to all that?

They're doing the same thing that they always do after there's a mass shooting. They politicize it. The issue is not with the Second Amendment. Guns aren't the problem. Does a gun commit crime? Democrats want to take away your guns. They don't want to solve problems. Turns out, when it comes to mass shootings,

ones not too many. Actually, a shitload isn't too many. And by the way, you can say Second Amendment all you want, but you definitely don't seem to mind throwing out the Constitution when it comes to deportation. And I am legitimately asking this question. This is truly legitimate. Like, I know I can be like, but like, I am genuinely baffled.

Why is it when a foreigner or someone that shouldn't be here kills one of us, we're going to put $150 billion into border security. We're going to militarize our cities. We're going to spend trillions of dollars to bomb and destabilize foreign countries overseas. We're going to ban people from random countries from ever f**king visiting here.

We're going to take our shoes off at the airport forever. But when we do it to ourselves, nothing. Is it that the only acceptable deaths are those that are made in America? Our only response now is to tally up the psycho scoreboard on whose side the perp belongs to? I honestly would like to know, like, it makes no sense. It's jarring cognitive dissonance. This is Senator Mike Lee, all right?

Great state of Utah, which, by the way, suffered a tragic shooting death at one of their No Kings events over the weekend. And just a little backstory. I have met Senator Lee. He's the best. In 2019, when we were trying to get permanent reauthorization of the Ray Pfeiffer, Louis Alvarez, the Droga Act, we met with Senator Mike Lee in his

office down in Washington. We had a team of a feel-good foundation and a team of first responders with us. Firefighters, cops, other people. One of the cops had been in the first tower when it collapsed, right? So all these first responders are going around the table and they are sharing their stories to try and get Senator Mike Lee to support this bill that's gonna provide life-saving coverage and money to the victims of this terrible terrorist attack

and the illnesses they're suffering since then. When the one cop says his story about being in the tower that collapsed and the aftermath, when he told Senator Lee about that experience, Senator Lee smiled and said, I bet you've got a lot of stories. Oh! Of dead... Of, like, what? said, I bet you've got a lot of stories. Of dead of like what

spring break like what are you talking about we met a lot of people in Washington, some were hopeful some of those meetings some were upsetting meetings. That was the only meeting where we all walked out and looked at each other and went what the is wrong with that guy? The only one! I say this for context,

for why I use Senator Lee as the avatar for the insanity of this moment. Here he is on the Senate floor talking about why he is for these, you could call draconian immigration policies. The tragic case of Lachlan Riley, a life cut short by an illegal alien. Her case represents hundreds of thousands of families across this nation

whose lives have been upended by the invasion that our leaders allowed to happen. Now look, he's right to be upset at our leaders for allowing unsafe conditions to happen. That's fine. Here's Mike Lee tweeting this weekend about the assassination of a Democratic legislator and her husband. Just hours after we all learned about this tragedy.

Republican senator Mike Lee of Utah posted a picture of the suspect at the door of one of the lawmakers with the caption, this is what happens when Marxists don't get their way. And by the way, he didn't just post that. He didn't just post that. He pinned that to the top of whatever the f**k it is that you pin stuff on, on Twitter, your Twitter refrigerator to show off your twitter work. And then to let all of us know that that is not the depth of

his depravity that he can go deeper he posted this. The center posted another picture with the caption nightmare on wall Street mocking of course the name of the Minnesota governor. OK first of all. Elm Street to Wall Street is a shitty pun. As a comedian, I must object. You've got Wolf of Wall Street just sitting there. And second, I truly want to know why, in his mind,

one death, the hands of an immigrant is worth $150 billion of border security, a militarization of American cities, well, just the blue cities. I know the undocumented immigrants in red state fields are the good ones now suddenly, that and I guess Mar-a-Lago hospitality workers. But I want to know why those deaths in Minnesota are worth only a night of edgelord shitposting. No billions for mental health, no stopping illegal weapons trafficking, no nothing. We should ask him why. I bet he's got some stories to tell.

When we come back, John Mulaney to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away.

I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away. One of my favorites, not just as a comedian, as a person, I guess, tonight, an actor, writer, comedian, host of the Netflix show, everybody's live. Please welcome John Mulaney. John! Thank you. Thank you very much. That was not, when was that? A week ago. This was two weeks ago. That fight was two weeks ago, yeah. Those gentlemen, and I call them gentlemen.

Yeah, young men. Young men. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. No, fourteen. Three fourteen year olds, I'm forty-two. They add up to me.

They do add up to you. Yeah, they do. Yeah. I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two.

I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two. I'm forty-two. I. 13, 14. 14, no, 14. Three 14-year-olds, I'm 42. They add up to me. They do add up to you. Yeah, they do. Yeah. You show no worse for wear.

You look healthy. I saw no limp. I'm moving slower. Do you still feel the ache? I still feel that lactic acid. You ever fought three boys, and you get that lactic acid buildup in the lower body? I don't think most people haven't fought.

Everyone should. Let me say this. Obviously, there's a lot going on right now. This is the most important message you'll hear tonight, but everyone should fight three teenagers once a year. Follow the rules we did. No eye gouging, no cutting off of airways. No punching. No kicking just sort of advanced hugging and wrestling And you'll feel so much better. I feel invigorated

I really I've never been more present in my life because I had to be for that fight You understand what I mean? So in some ways it's it's like skydiving or Everest sure except with 14 year old Exactly like they said about Everest why do it because it's there or Everest, except with 14 year olds. Exactly. Like they said about Everest, why do it because it's there. Well, technically I flew those boys in, but once they were there, I said, I'm gonna take them back.

What do you mean? I'm just curious for no apparent reason. Over state lines? Was that over state lines? Yeah, yeah, but I checked, I don't mind answering that because I checked all that shit out. I made sure.

No, I really did. No, I think you should. I was like, traveling teens, you gotta shit out. I mean I really did I should traveling teens you've got to always dot your eyes and stuff sure so I brought them in separate hotels don't let them meet for real because I couldn't get them to I didn't want them planning anything or developing any strata long if I may sure. By the way and that episode that was the final episode of your 12 week

Well, I was saying you did 12 in a row which I thought was in some ways bragging I to go To do 12 weeks in a row. It makes the very much to stop at 7 But we then maybe the rest of us look a little bit. Oh, please pathetic No, you got a rigorous schedule Mondays and then yes for a schedule Mondays and then years. You don't know when I'm out here the children I fight. You have no idea. So these 14-year-old. Jacob, Ben, and Adarsh.

Who was the one who began to go silverback after it was over? There was one of them, as soon as it went over, he jumped up and went, Agatha! I think that was Adarsh. Yes. If I'm getting it wrong, I apologize. Okay. But Jacob had never met Adarsh.

Adarsh had never met Ben. Ben had never met Jacob. They never met until they met on the mat. Randomly selected. Oh, no, there were thousands of submissions. Or maybe there was, like, 100. I don't know. But we found three, right?

Yes. So then, selected by one of my writers, the great Langston Kerman. Langston Kerman, hilarious. Hilarious comedian. Yes. Great actor, hilarious comedian. Lovely man.

He was a teacher for many years, and he fought his students one day. Like, they just were ragging on him, and so he locked the door of these three boys, and they just went at it. And I think whatever the statutes over now... Is this the plot of Lean on Me? I think this is... It was very... I think this is... And did he have a bat?

No, but it was as if Joe Clark from Lean on Me took it to the appropriate level, which is some fighting. There's all these podcasters now talk about a crisis with men and boys. Sure. Right, and they have a lot of them.

Oh, I listen to the male podosphere. Yeah, they're on testosterone, they shave their heads and things like this. Sure. And they talk, they make little video diaries in their basement and so forth. But if you wanna really get to the root of it, you get three of them together,

get them in nice suits and helmets, and you get in a suit yourself and you go at it. Let me tell you something, because I hadn't looked at it in this way, you weren't just fighting for entertainment. In many ways, this was a crusade to save American youth and maleness. Absolutely, yeah. You are, if I may,

and this is not frivolous, you are the man in the arena, literally. Yeah. Yeah. Teddy Roosevelt spoke about that. Yeah, Teddy Roosevelt, that quote, have you ever been sent that? That means you have a big failure. I had a sitcom that was shot out of the air like a duck in Duck

Hunt, and everyone sent me that quote. And I was like, man, this must be bombing because everyone was sending me the f*** man in the arena. Now these kids if I may say I thought you held your own for god must have been 41 seconds. 47 seconds. Right which is no small feat for an asthmatic or whatever I don't know what physically you're dealing with. Yeah now listen I don't have a lot of physical prowess. I fought when I was younger, but I'm much older now.

What I had that they don't have, and a lot of kids don't have this if you ever want to fight one, is they don't have core strength. But I do a lot of core, because I have a tear in my hip, which I've been open about, so it's not cheating. A lot of PT. Did they know about the hip? Yes, they did. Did they target the hip? Yeah, they did. Did they target the hip?

Yeah, they went for the hip. Yeah. Bastards. They really went for this leg, because they knew I was a goner. I was going to sink right into the labrum tear. But 47 seconds I stood until they were choking me out on the mat. Can I tell you something though? Yeah.

So those first 30 seconds were chaotic. They were chaotic, yeah. And I thought for a moment that you had it. But then it was like in a movie about, you ever seen those alien movies where we have the upper hand, but then all of a sudden they're like, I think they're learning. Yes. There was a moment, it might have been in a Darsh's eyes.

Yes. Where they made contact and they began to operate as the Borg, as a hive. They operated like a three-boy monster. Yes. They, uh, they, I was, I, I see, I knew if I charged first, because I knew I had a couple... Brilliant move.

I had a couple advantages on them. I'm not self-conscious the way a 14-year-old is, right? So I said, I'm going to charge Jacob with everything I have, right? He's the biggest of them, and I didn't want him on my back. So I go right at Jacob with everything I have right. He's the biggest of them and I didn't want him on my back So I go right at Jacob you had a plan I had a plan But I didn't realize how much I needed to keep moving as Ben and a Darce closed in on me Adam Sandler Who's standing right off the ring was he your corner man sort of Sean Penn was just smoking but

Sean but if you want to watch this episode, it is like maybe the most perfect hour-long episode of television. In the middle of it, there is a sincere 15-minute interview with Sean Penn. He and I must go to the same plastic surgeon because we both look like we sleep in a meat dehydrator. But... Sean Penn goes to third world countries and they go, are you okay? No, he's a good man.

He's a good man. He's a tough man. He is, by the way, I don't think against Sean Penn, I don't think a Darce would have been beaten the chest. I think one of them would be left with their heart out of their chest and Sean Penn just gnawing on it in front of the other ones. Yes, we get into it, Sean Penn and I,

about his Malibu surfing days and the violence that erupted out of what seems like a tranquil activity That's right. So the problem was and it's I I hope there's a camera angle I'll have to go through all the raw footage and I plan to do you have the all 22 of the fight? Gonna be the third act of my life people visit me in a weird house and I show them the raw footage and prove I could have People visit me in a weird house, and I show them the raw footage and prove I could have won. There's a moment where I get Jacob off my back and I go for a darshe and I choke.

I just can't throw him. I just go like that and I go, I can't do it. Is it a leverage thing? You went for the wrong angle or...? No, it was just... It wasn't in me. And that was an important lesson in masculinity, you know? That, you know, right?

And... I went, this is not me, right? Right. Don't we all face our own Adarsh and go, I could throw this boy now right at Sean Penn. But I'm not going to do it. You get a cigarette right in the eye. You're processing this in real time. In real time.

You're able to do this did was it kind of a slow I know that bone thugs in harmony is waiting off stage by the way when they come out they come out beautiful music it's a beautiful. You're hearing something from the audience that I think I was feeling when I was at home and what and what you heard you might not have heard from there is one woman just went. had heard it from there, is one woman just went, what? And I think that's exactly right.

And I think if I were, and again, I've been in television a long time, but if I were in the writer's room or in the production and you were walking me through what was about to happen, I think I also might, at some point within the conversation, go, what? Yeah. Our team, our wonderful director Joe DeMeo,

and our lighting. Joey DeMeo. Joey DeMeo. We used to work together at MTVaior lovely man, our wonderful lighting desire Brian Clunder who doesn't look like shit doesn't look like. But you want to see what he shaves the beard and wait till someone emerges and becomes famous that looks exactly

under but we talked it out and I and they said when does bone thugs know to come out and I said, when does Bone Thugs know to come out? And I said, when the boys tap out. That was going to be, I was just so confident. It's a brilliant... I really appreciate it. Thanks. You texted me after I showed all the writers. We were really thrilled to get that. I loved it. My only question is, is there any thought for you? And this is in recognizing your limitations of going down in age class, away class, maybe trying this, I think, eight to nine-year-olds.

Yeah. I'm telling you, I think that could be... I think... This is my feeling. I think that could be the sweet spot where... And I'm even gonna throw this out there. Four of them, if you still want it to add up to your age. Yeah, where and yeah, and I'm even to throw this out there for of them if you still want to add up to your age sure we could do that I mean it's basically

probably unconsciously all building up to me fighting my own son who's 3 in. He does he get that's coming and he puts his thumbs over my eyes and he goes no no data open your eyes. He really wants to go sockets into the brain really wants to go sockets into the brain. Really wants to go sockets into the brain, yeah. I got to tell you, when they do, you know my boy. Yeah. The day he beat me in arm wrestling,

I really thought he would have a little bit more of a realization of, like, that this is a mortality play. He's going to beat me. So I said to him, I go, when you finally beat me, it's not going to feel as good as you think it's going to. It's gonna make you sad. It's gonna make you realize something. It didn't.

He loved it. Yeah. And to this day, I think the relationship changed to where he physically knows I've got no shi- against one of him. Yeah. And then he married your wife, right? What? That's...

That's international arm wrestling dad rules. I have got to make a call. Hold on. It's fabulous. And I'm just so delighted for you and the whole family. Thank you, John. And you guys are lovely. But I did want to ask you, you know, you and I talked about, we knew we weren't going to talk about anything because we never talk about anything.

Yep. We just f*** around. And I didn't want to let it go because you're an important guest and you're an important figure in show business and comedy. I wanted to treat you as such. That's very nice. And so I didn't know what to ask you. So I just went through past interviews.

This is really wild to be on The Daily Show with you, by the way. We've never done this together. I can't express how it was. It's a very cool moment. Really? For me as well. For you. It's a good moment for me. When I was an intern at Comedy Central, the big thing was a lot of Viacom execs would ask for tickets to The Daily Show. And it was so, I mean, this was like 2003, 2004. Couldn't get in, couldn't get in the room. So I'd give them tickets to Tough Crab.

["Tough Crab"] Colin would go, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. These are questions that I had asked other guests. Other Daily Show guests? OK. And I would like to ask you, and whether you, I don't know if you'll know, you can answer them or if you'd even know who I'm asking. Wait, these are, you're not gonna say who you ask them to, you're just gonna ask the

questions? That's right. That's great. But these are other important guests. Okay. Guests that I was delighted that we were able to have. Oh, very nice. John, you are renowned as a man of peace.

The John part I added. Oh, okay. All right. I was like the first clue. Yeah, it's not. It's actually Red Herring, a misdirector. Okay. All right. You are renowned as a man of peace,

so I've got to ask, what are people saying about us? America, are they digging us? I swear to God. You think your show is loose. I'm going to show you. I pioneered lack of preparation. Thank you.

Yeah, you were a great innovator in no free interview. Thank you. Desmond Tutu? That's exactly right. Yeah! This is Desmond Tutu? That's exactly right. Yeah! This is Desmond Tutu. Excellent. Excellent, excellent.

And I bet the answer, he would giggle a lot. Remember he had a woo-hoo-hoo. He had the best laugh. He had the best laugh. I don't understand. I once saw a video of him and the Dalai Lama, I don't know what it was from, but they were on stage just f***ing cracking up. Can I tell you, when I would see Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. I don't know what it was from but they were on stage just cracking up. Can I tell you when I would see Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama talk it looked like

a helium birthday party. I know. Like they were all just sucking balloons and going eee. It looked like late Carol Burnett. Yes. You and I should work together. I know. Here's a question I asked of a guest. Okay. Where's Osama bin Laden? Uh, Donald Rumsfeld? Close. Pervez Musharraf, the president of Pakistan at the time. Mother of Pakistan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, he came here?

Dude, he came here. He was doing his auto-biography. It was a tour for his autobiography. For his autobiography. His autobiography. Security was there. Al Qaeda was trying to kill him. Security was everywhere.

Oh, I know. I hate Al Qaeda. Guns, bombs sniffing, everything. Pakistan Secret Service, American Secret Service. And the whole time, I was like, this dude is risking his life to be on this show. And I was like, I should have read the book. Because I... You know.

Oh. Oh. When did the Taliban come to Swat Valley? When did they come to Swat Valley? We believe that... The Taliban have had a stronghold in that area for some time. The rest would be classified. Who would I have asked that to? Who could you have asked that that would have dared face you down? Dick Cheney?

Malala, you've stopped saying that. I love Malala. Oh, here's a good one. Give us the range of chimpanzee behavior. Uh-huh. From dressing up like us and playing the cymbals to biting that woman's face off. Ooh.

What's the full range? Okay. Uh... Uh... Like, Jack Hanna? Jane Goodall. I'm so bad at this. That'll be it. But that...

All right. Hey, did you ever have on that guy, remember that dude that threw his shoes at George W. Bush? Did he do the circuit? I don't remember him doing the circuit. Honestly, like, I'm a big fan of so many comedians who work at the craft, but the funniest thing that's ever happened on television in my life

was that guy, shoe. And you saw this weird look in Bush's eyes where he's like, oh, we playing shoes? Like, he knew it as a game. He immediately went, it was coming anyway. Yep, yep. He went down. That's a anyway. Yep. Yep. Like, he went down. That's a dude. And, like, listen, we both have our problems with him,

but that guy could duck shoes, and he... You were clear... What it said to us was, this isn't the first time someone... thrown both of their shoes. Did he end up... I did that at rehab once in group. You did the George Bush shoe bit?

There was this guy that blamed his wife for everything. And I said, not as a joke, the rest of the room thought it was a joke. I was like, if you do that again, I'm going, if you don't get into your responsibility and take some responsibility for what you did, I'm gonna throw my shoes at you like that guy did at George W. Bush.

Big laugh in group. The guy did it again, one shoe. Oh, yeah. Oh! Yeah. That guy's still sober. Is he really? Yeah, and it was the second shoe that did it. Because of the fear.

The fear of the second shoe. Do you remember in Iraq, did that guy have one more shoe in the chamber or did he? Yeah, he squeezed off two shoes. I think he emptied both chambers. Two shoes, right? Yeah. And I'm guessing slip-ons, though I never inspected them. They appeared to be slip-ons.

They did not, to be perfectly frank, did not seem to be the heaviest, most structured shoes. They seemed to be... Yeah, it was a loose shoe. That's no question. I'm so happy to see you. I'm so happy to see you. And so, Mr. John Mulaney, everybody's live, streaming on Netflix, and for more info on Mitchell Whatever Tour,

go to johnmulaney.com. John Mulaney, we're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. We're gonna check in with your hosts for the rest of the week. Jordan Clapper. Jordan. Jordan Klapper! Jordan! Jordan? Yes? What's on deck for this week?

Ooh, two words, John. Trump Mobile. Today, the Trump family announced they're starting their very own mobile phone company. And experts are saying this new phone could completely revolutionize the way dumb-dumbs get scammed out of money. Needless to say, I got one. Is this right? This is true. Yeah.

Is this a good use of the president's time? Oh, of course it is, John. That's what MAGA voted for, a president with the same LinkedIn page as Ryan Reynolds. So he's not gonna be trying to find a solution to Iran-Israel war? Oh, oh, he's got a solution. The two sides won't be fighting once they discover

the smooth taste of Trump tequila. One sip, and it's so long, Middle East. Hello, Margaritaville. I don't think tequila's gonna be enough at this point. Why, has it gotten bad? I haven't checked the news. My my trump phone gets zero bars. Jordan Klepper everybody here it is. Your moment is up. Let me tell you you're going to see something. This is not an average parade. This is a full-on military parade U.S. Army on demonstration through the years. You're in for something

special because America's special and we deserve it. We should celebrate it. Now I apologize for it. This parade is gonna be awesome. Take that haters. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show, weeknights at 11,

10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This is an iHeart podcast.