The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jon Stewart Responds to Media Backlash & Desi Lydic Covers the Republican Presidential Candidates

Episode Date: February 24, 2024

Jon Stewart responds to those criticizing his take on Joe Biden and Donald Trump, then seeks mentorship from "journalist" Tucker Carlson. Plus, Desi Lydic covers Nikki Haley's announcement that she's continuing her presidential campaign despite her low poll numbers and Donald Trump's promos for his new branded cologne and sneaker line.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire. And this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie, Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire the official survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. What do you think about young people getting all of their information and entertainment from social media? I see no problem with it. Why would you?

It seems great. Do, is that, is that true? I mean, I don't know because, obviously. TV is dying. Don't, what? No, no, sir. Well, let me ask you a question. In your mind, seeing as I work on television, will I die first?

Because if that's the case, I don't mind. But don't you still watch TV, but you just watch it on your computer. On Tic-Ti. On your phone. Right, but you understand that that's still TV. It's just you're watching it in a different delivery service. It's like heroin is heroin, whether you snort it or shoot it. It's still an opiate for the masses as his television.

You're just getting it in smaller bites, but it's still, it's still TV. We make it. Unless, you have to look on your face like, it's still TV. We make it. Unless, you have to look on your face like, this poor boy. If he only knew the business he was in. Well, I hope we don't die quickly, but, and stay. And you're here, and we're making TV for you tonight. Great! Everybody welcome! Thank you. Please. Get a today.

I look. I gotthe thanks. Thank you. Please. Get a. Oh. I look.

I got to tell you something. These folks who work here at the Daily Show, making me look zatty. Welcome to the Daily Show! I'm your host John Stewart, captain of this dying medium. Why would you even say that to me? The gentleman tell me tonight. He said, oh, I'm so happy to be here, you know your television is dying. I said, I am aware, and in fact, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm contributing, I'm so happy to be here, you know your television is dying. I said, I am aware, and in fact, I'm contributing to it.

You're welcome. I did have such a good time last week doing the program. And then everybody, Comedy Central, was like, oh, what are you going to do this week? And I was like, wait, this week? I did already, I did a Monday. What am I? A cyborg? Come on! But I don't mind because, quite frankly, the response to the first show last Monday was universally glowing. John Stewart is facing massive backlash from Democrats over his comments about Joe Biden. Oberman tweeted, well, after nine years away, there's nothing else to say to the both-side is fraud John Stewart bashing Biden except, please make it another nine years.

Christy Jackson tweeted, sorry, but I won't be watching you either. Okay. Maybe not universal. But that was on Twitter. Everything on Twitter gets a backdust. I've seen Twitter tell Labradoodles to go f-hick themselves. Paperdoodles. I just think it's better to deal head on with what's an apparent issue to people. I mean, we're just talking here. And Mary Trump tweeting, not only is Stewart's both sides are the same rhetoric not funny, it's a potential disaster for democracy. It's one fucking show! It was one fucking show!

There's 20 minutes! I did 20 minutes of one fucking show! But I guess as the famous saying goes, democracy dies in discussion. But look, I have sinned against you. I'm sorry. It was never my intention to say out loud what I saw with my eyes and then brain. I can do better. I can have learning.

I can have it. But I don't even know where to start with that. Where do I go to study the particulars of unquestioning propaganda? I would need mentorship. We're in Moscow tonight. We're here to interview the president of Russia, Vladimir Putin. Saints be praised. For Professor Tucker, Aloysius Mayflower, Kenny Bunkport,

Batgammon Carlson III has arrived. Professor, tell me what is step one in delivering world-class fealty to power? Here's why we're doing it. First, because it's our job. We're in journalism. Lie about what your job is. We're in journalism. Our duty is to inform people. Lie about what your duty is to inform people. Lie about what your duty is.

Americans have a right to know all they can about a war they're implicated in. Freedom of speech is our birthright. We were born with the right to say what we believe. Oh shit. Kudo, Sensei. That was deep, I have much to learn. Disguise your deception and capitulation to power as noble and moral and based in freedom. Yes, master. Just out of curiosity, as a student, when you're sitting there interviewing Putin and you don't plan to challenge his utter bullshit,

but you don't want to really be that obvious, what do you do with your face? Oh, I see. Okay, so it's not really a straight face as much as you try to convey a mixture of what appears to be shame, arousal, and I'm going to say irregularity. For instance, like you're constipated while jerking off to a Sears catalog. Been there, haven't you? He's been there, haven't you? The guy up there, they're like, well, the lingerie ads were... Now obviously, Tucker's strategy is going to work when there's some ambiguity in what Putin says. But what if Putin starts saying shit like, World War II was Poland's fault

because they forced Hitler to invade them. I mean what do you do with something like that? That's going to be hard. After World War I this territory was transferred to Poland and instead of Danzig, a Dansk emerged. Hitler asked them to give it anicably but they refused. Of course. Of course. Of course. You know, it's so hard to do when your face says, what the fuck? And your mouth says, of course, it's a... And your mouth says, of course, it's a...

It's so hard to hold... How do you... All right. How do you do that? By the way, Poland started World War II? Why would a country whose Navy has submarines with screen doors want to instigate a war. Quick history lesson. Years ago, for reasons nobody is really sure of, a stereotype emerged that Polish people were inept in various ways, including, obviously, submarine manufacturing, and even something as simple as the changing of a light bulb. I don't know. Actually, how many Polish people you think it t the changing of a light bulb. I don't know

actually how many Polish people you think it takes to change a light bulb, but it's certainly less than the conventional wisdom at that time would tell you. Now we know that Polish people are as smart as anyone and certainly did not deserve to be invaded by the Germans, who of course accomplished that by marching in backwards, so the polls thought they were leaving. Well, I like to give you a little bit of dumb. Well, this has been an incredible primer. Well, this has been an incredible primer into the delegate dance of speaking, of course, to power. Tell me, Tucker, does this master class include field trips? How does Russia have a subway station that normal people use to get to work and home every

single day that's nicer than anything in our country? There's no graffiti, there's no filth, no foul smells. That's a fucking nice subway. That's a very... Although to be fair to the New York City system, it was constructed in 1904 out of urinal cakes. By the great engineer, Giuse Giuseppe piss everywhere. But point taken, it's a very nice subway. But the subway, that's only one thing. So we thought it would be interesting to take a look at a contemporary modern-day 2024 Russian grocery store. Ooh, go on. All right.

There we go. So I guess you put in 10 roubles here and you get it back when you put the card back. So it's free, but there's an incentive to return it and not just bring it to your homeless encamp. Oh. I know I've said this before. You're such a dick.

Now, I didn't realize, I didn't realize America's homeless problem is caused entirely by easy access to grocery to grocery. I had all my stuff in my house, but I didn don't know if you put it on wheels and so much either. This is the grocery card escalator. This is designed, I'm figuring this out now, where the wheels don't move, they lock on the grocery card escalator. Look Ma, no hands. Look Ma, no hands. Oh, okay, okay, Forrest. An escalator for the grocery cart and the doors open automatically.

Oh, mother, Russia. Russia is famous for its bread. Which is one thing I could assess pretty well. Look at that. It's fresh too. Look at the, uh, the guy really likes bread. Uh, I hate to think what would have to bang the occasional sourdell not strovia. But our time is limited. Could you drive home the purpose of your deception on this trip in the most cynical way possible, please? We didn't pay any attention to costs as we were just putting in the most cynical way possible please. We didn't pay

any attention to costs we were just putting in the cart where we would actually eat over a week and we all came in around 400 bucks about 400 bucks. It was a hundred and four dollars US here and coming to a Russian grocery store the heart of evil and seeing what things cost and how people live it it will radicalize you against our leaders. That's how I feel anyway, radicalized. Radicalized, and it will radicalize you, unless you understand basic economics.

See, $104 for groceries sounds like a great bargain, unless you realize Russians earn less than $200 a week. But that's the kind of context that a, what did you call yourself earlier, a journalist would have provided. But here's the reality. You fucking know all this, because you aren't as dumb as your face would have us believe.

Perhaps if your handlers had allowed, you would have seen there is a hidden fee to your cheap groceries and orderly streets. Ask Alexi Navalny or any of his supporters. In Vladimir Putin's Russia, political repression is everywhere. And hundreds have been arrested for daring to honor Navalny so publicly. Right. Because the difference between our urinal, caked, chaotic subways and your candelabred, beautiful subways, is the literal price of freedom. But the goal that Carlson and his ilk are pushing is that there's really no difference between our systems.

In fact, there's might be a little bit better. The question is, why? Why is Tucker doing this? Here's why. It's because the old civilizational battle was communism versus capitalism. That what drove the world since World War II. Russia was the enemy then. But now, they think the battle is woke versus unwoke. And in that fight, Putin is an ally to the right. He's their friend.

Unfortunately, he is also a brutal and ruthless dictator. So now they have to make Americans a little more comfortable with that. I mean, Liberty is nice, but have you seen Russia's shopping carts? And Tucker would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling assassins. In a statement to the New York Times Carlson said, quote, it is horrifying what happened to Navalny. The whole thing is barbaric and awful. No decent person would. Correct. No decent person would. For more on... Oh please enjoy your car. For more on Tucker Carlson's interview with Putin, we turn to our own, Michael Costa. Michael,

Michael, let's stop. Michael, first of all, what an unbelievably embarrassing display of sycophancy from Tucker Carlson. Yeah, well I'm not sure what that means, John, so I'm going to assume you loved it as much as I did. It made me think that these dictatorships have gotten a bad rap, which is why I've traveled here to North Korea, and as you can see, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's a today. It looks like you're in a candy store. Well, I am, but this is what the entire country looks like, I'm told. It's a paradise of chocolate bars and sugar canes. I mean, John, check this out.

This bucket of gummy worms here in Pyongyang, it costs a nickel. Do you have any idea how much this would cost me in the so-called United States? I don't know, like 20 bucks, I guess? Yeah, yeah, and who can afford that besides capitalistic American pedophiles, okay? And just look at the technology they have here, John. Check out this amazing contraption. You put, okay? You put a quarter.

And look what comes out, a gumball. Oh, oh. Death to America. John. You need to come home, Michael. I'd like to, John, but unfortunately I renounced my citizenship in exchange for these gummy worms. Now, look, they made them sour on the outside and on the inside, they're sweet. And until America comes up with that, all right, how do we say goodbye in our language? Michael Costa, everybody.

Michael? John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show, the weekly show, the weekly show, wherever you get your podcast. Let's kick things off with Nikki Haley. She made a big announcement today, but it wasn't the one we were all expecting. Some of you, perhaps a few of you in the media, came here today to see if I'm dropping out of the race. Well, I'm not. Okay, well, just late another week then. Do what you want, but it's not a good sign for your campaign if you have to keep

announcing that you're not dropping out of the race. Niggie's campaign has reached the guest who doesn't know when to leave the party stage. Republican voters are like, ooh, oh, God, I gotta wake up early tomorrow. And Nicky's like, ooh, let's start a game of risk. And if this speech was supposed to convince people that she should stay in the race, I'm not really sure it did. We've all all the calls for me to drop out. The argument is familiar. They say I haven't want to state that my path to victory is slim.

They point to the primary pulse and say I'm only delaying the inevitable. Why keep fighting when the battle was apparently over after Iowa. She's making a really good case against herself. They say my campaign is making everyone sad that I'm a born loser whose own mother wouldn't vote for her. They claim I have a 14% on rotten tomatoes and I'm not even a movie. Anyway, what were we talking about? Although, look, if Haley wants to stay in, it's her right.

If her strategy is to just hope that Donald Trump goes to prison for life, she wouldn't be the only one. Game-recognized game. Speaking of Donald Trump, it's been a week now since Russian dissident, Alexei Nabolny mysteriously died in prison after devoting his life to fighting Blatimir Putin's dictatorship. And Donald Trump honored him in the only way he knows how by making it about himself. The former president for his part weighed in yesterday evening. What he did was he shared an opinion piece on his

social media website that compares President Biden with Vladimir Putin and compares himself with Alexei Navalny. This is utterly disgusting but I have to give Trump credit I didn't realize he could make analogies. Look at that, he's got the double collins and everything. I'm little guys ready for the SATs. But yes, it is unacceptable to compare Navalny with Trump. Navalny sacrificed his life for democracy. Donald Trump tried to sacrifice Mike Pence's life to kill democracy. You could not find two men who were further apart than to kill democracy.

You could not find two men who are further apart than these two. Now if you're stupid enough to believe that Donald Trump is a courageous freedom fighter like Alexi Navalny, then good news. Trump has some perfume he'd like to sell you. New Trump branded Cologne. It's called Trump 47 with the former president's head at the top of the bottle. According to the website, selling the cologne, it smells of a crisp opening of citrus blends into a cedar heart underpinned by a rich base of leather and amber. The last time Trump was underpinned by a rich base of leather and amber, Amber had to sign an NDA. Also, I love the shape of that bottle. Is that cologne or a vibrator from hell?

The first vibrator that doesn't believe in the female orgasm? Now, you might think that this perfume is just a quick griff to help Trump after he was hit with a $355 million judgment for fraud. And based on their ad campaign, you would be right. Confidence, sexy, guilty of fraud, introducing Victory 47, the new fragrance from Donald Trump that's definitely not a desperate cash grab. You want to smell like this. And now you can.

Grab her by the nostrils. Don't Trump is an icon of grace and masculinity. Take a whiff of Victory 47. Ah, a scent that tells everyone, I want to help a millionaire pay off as rape lawsuit. Buy a bottle. Send Donald Trump money. Buy 10,000 bottles. Send Donald Trump money. He really needs this. Mortgage your condo. Victory 47 is now available next to the discount candy at your local CBS. Victory 47, smelling this good should be illegal and it probably is. Now if you think hawking perfume is undignified for the frontrunner for president, excuse

me, don't worry it's not just perfume. Donald Trump introducing a new sneaker line at a shoe conference in Philly over the weekend. This is a big crowd. Appearing at SneakerCon in Philadelphia. We're going to remember the young people and we're going to remember SneakerCon. Your sneaker heads, right? The former president took today

to promote a money-making deal, having struck a naming rights agreement for a limited-edition sneaker line. The most expensive pair in the series, selling for $399. That's the real deal. That's the real deal. Finally, a sneaker that won't make me feel bad when I accidentally step in shit. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central podcast. Survivor 47 is here which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast on fire and this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action. Charlie I'm excited to do this together. Thanks Jeff, so excited to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the action, Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast starting September 18th, wherever you get your podcast.