The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jon Stewart Unpacks the GOP's "Migrant Crime" Narrative | Jonathan Blitzer

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Jon Stewart discusses Biden and Trump’s recent visits to the Mexico border, how the GOP uses fear to advance their policy goals around immigration, and how the Democrats’ struggle to deliver on their espoused values. Plus, as SCOTUS unanimously rules in favor of Donald Trump, preventing states from kicking him off their ballot this election, Jon Stewart and Desi Lydic help Democrats get creative to prevent another Trump term. And Jonathan Blitzer, New Yorker staff writer and author of “Everyone Who Is Gone Is Here,” discusses with Jon Stewart the political dynamics at play that are preventing comprehensive immigration reform from getting passed in the U.S.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire. And this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie, Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire the official Survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Center. It's America's only source for news. This is the daily show with your host, John Stewart. Oh yes! Oh baby! We got a good one! We've got a good one! Come on!

Come on! Welcome to the Daily Show! My name is John Stewart. We got a good one. Come on! Welcome to the Daily Show. My name is John Stewart. We got a hell of a show for you tonight. I'm going to try this one. First and foremost, I wanted to thank everybody for such kind words about my dog nipper. Truly meant a lot to me and I took great comfort in it. But before we do anything, breaking news. This is CNN breaking news. We begin with the breaking news this morning, the United States Supreme Court ruling

that former President Donald Trump cannot be removed from any state's ballot for his actions on January 6th. I think the real breaking news here, Oh, pipe down. They know better than the Supreme Court. In all my years of law school I couldn't believe the arguments. I think the real breaking news here is Wolf Blitzer and I appear to be merging. We are becoming one. Blitzer! By the way the Supreme Court, nine to nothing.

the ruling was let Donnie cook. By the way, the Supreme Court, nine to nothing, the ruling was let Donnie Cook. So, let that be, really, let that be a lesson to all you out there who might be thinking about subverting the Constitution in a presidential election. A you go boy. For more in the Supreme Court's ruling, we turn to our own, Desi Lydick, live at the Supreme Court. Desi, thank you for joining us down there tonight.

I warn you before you do your report, audience filled with law students. So, Desi, Democrats have to be disappointed in this ruling. Yes, Democrats are doing more shower-crying than normal today, John. But they are still confident that a conviction in the January 6th trial can keep Trump out of the White House. But Desi, that seemingly not likely going to happen before Election Day. Right. But fortunately, Trump has three other criminal trials coming up.

One of those has to be a conviction, so Democrats are optimistic. But Trump can still be president if he's convicted. I mean, none of the cases would stop that. Right. I'm glad you brought that up, John. Democrats say if none of these cases go their way, there is still another avenue to pursue. The getting more votes scenario. They're not there yet. They were going to lay Reese's pieces out in a trail that leads into a golden tent labeled

Marlago that can only be zipped from the outside. Or they discussed making him the next golden bachelor. Once he's surrounded by women his own age, Democrats believe he will spontaneously combust. I, I, I, I still think the more votes. Democrats find a witch. The witch turns Donald Trump into a bird. The bird isn't there on election day,

having already migrated to a warmer climate. Dessie, the election's obviously tight. The battleground states are going to be difficult, but clearly there is a path to victory for Democrats, even if narrow. Oh, yes. You're talking about sending Trump an Applevision pro, preloaded with porn, so he'll be too busy masturbating to campaign.

That's the work, actually. Does he lie with everybody? Well, there we haven't. I didn't think of the last one. That does sound plausible. But there you have it. Breaking News, the presidential election is still on. We now return you to your regularly scheduled presidential election year programming.

Fox's Alerts to America's border crisis boiling over. Chaos at the border. The never-ending surge of migrants crashing across our southern border. Yes, every two to four years we are reminded that we have a southern border. And it is porous. There's a migrant crime spree, killing Americans, and the president's an accessory to murder. We are being overwhelmed. There is no word to describe this except invasion.

Illegal invaders invading America, pouring over our border by the millions. Criminals, rapists, child predators, and God knows who else. God knows who else? I mean, statistically a couple of them at least have to be podcasters. I mean, murderers. But point taken, I think my pants just shit their pants. Um, and if you're thinking that these are just some Central American no-goodnicks, think again. The countries we know they're coming from, Iran, number one state sponsor, terror, their satellite

country, Syria, Egypt, home of the Muslim Brotherhood, Afghanistan, home of Al-Qaeda, 10,000-plus, from Russia. Record numbers of Chinese men of military age who have come across our border. The number of military-aged men that are showing up with military haircuts clearly in shape. They're saying these guys are showing up with six packs and military boots. I mean, I mean, they're clearly, I mean, I mean, they're, they're clearly, I mean, tight asses, I mean, there is not an ounce of fat on these motherf-fixers. Let, I am so hard right. I want to go down to that god-dam border,

and I want to get ass deep on these immigrants. I want to suck and fuck until... get ass deep on these immigrants. I want to suck and fuck until... I want to cash me outside, how about that? That's what I'm saying. Wow. So we got... The crowd loves my dirty fill impression. We got criminals. We got terrorists.

Is there anyone else down there we should be worried about? Anybody ever hear of Hannibal Lecter? He was a nice fellow, but that's what's coming into our country right now. Wouldn't cannibals amongst them be the solution to the problem? Or are they fasting until they get to America? Wouldn't cannibals amongst them be the solution to the problem? Or are they fasting until they get to America? Well, it's clear hyperbole, but there does seem to be bipartisan agreement now that the border is a problem. There

were 300,000 crossings in December alone. That's an all-time high, and that is not sustainable. But Republicans turned down the chance to pass a strong border bill supported by the Border Patrol Union because of how confident they are that fear-mongering will be an effective election year strategy. It's all about branding. I call it migrant crime. I really call it Biden-migrant crime but it's too long so let's just call it migrant crime and everyone's going to know it's because of Biden. We will call it from now on Biden-migrant crime, okay?

It's bygrin crime. This is, we'll call it, I gotta, bygrant. Let's call it bygrant, Biden crime. Oh, that's good. That's smart. Bygren crime. It's a portmanteau. It's a portmanteau.

I'm not completely sold on bygrant. It really just sounds like a migrant who's opened to crossing either border. It's migrant crime. Vigrant. Look, there are some undocumented migrants who are committing crimes, some of them horrific, but isn't that true for every demographic, including natives? I feel pretty confident there's still a lot of opportunity out there for our American homegrown criminals.

But it's, if it's enough of an issue that on Thursday, we had ourselves a good old-fashioned border off as both men saddled up and headed to the southern border. Trump headed to Eagle Pass and Biden headed to Brownsville. It was bitch-assed Cassidy versus the sun-down kid. And Biden was fired up. We're the United States of America. Nailed it. He knew exactly where we are.

Yes. He knew what where we are? Yes! He knew what country we were in. Bang, boom! This is the United States of America! I take back everything I said a month ago! Lay out your proposal, sir. I understand my predecessor's an eagle passed today. So here's what I would say to Mr. Trump.

Instead of playing policy, the issue, instead of telling members of Congress to block this legislation, join me, or I'll join you in telling the Congress to pass this bipartisan border security bill, we can do it together. Ladies and gentlemen, the olive branch has been extended across the aisle. And a show of genuine desire to solve this complex and vexxxxxxx and vex and thxxx and thxxxxx and this complex and thxxxxxxxxxx, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to thi, instead of thi, instead of to to thi, instead of to say to to say to say to say to to to say to say to say to to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the issue the the issue the the the issue the the the the the the the the the tho, instead thi, instead of thi, instead of the the the theanananan theananan thean thean thean thean thean theanananan to plan, instead of to pa, instead of branch has been extended across the aisle in a show of genuine desire to solve this complex and vexing issue. Trump, your response. Crook Joe is the blood of countless innocent victims. Hmm.

That's a no. That's a no. Seriously, though. Crooked Joe? We still going with that's a no. Seriously though. Crooked Joe? We still going with that? Crook Joe Biden. He's crooked. I took the name away from Hillary.

Because she's no longer relevant, I guess. Do you have to say everything that happens in your head out loud? It's been eight years, you've fucking won. The woman's been through enough. Now you're going to take away her nickname now? What are you doing? But let me tell you something, Trump.

I don't know why I got serious there. You can't scare the Democrats, because the one thing that the Democrats have are principles. When it comes to immigration, the Democrats hold to our country's cherished ideals. The eternal promise etched at the feet of Lady Liberty that speaks to our better angels. The only way we're going to have a great future in America is if we welcome and embrace immigrants. These people are folks that we should be helping. America welcomes immigrants. We want people to come here, despite where they came from or despite the circumstances that drove them to this country.

This is a place where the Statue of Liberty sits in the harbor, and we say bring us your tired, those who are year yearing to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the where the Statue of Liberty sits in the harbor and we say bring us your tired of those who are yearning to be free. Unshakable, bedrock American values of compassion and empathy and there is not a damn thing that you can do to change that. Bosses arriving in New York City from Texas, one after another filled with migrants seeking asylum. That's all you got? Nice try, Texas, but you heard the mayor. We're New York-fixen city. How dare you?

No disrespect. But you are never going to change our values because you're afraid. So keep sending those bus loads, because we got plenty of room in our hearts and in this city. We have no more room in the city. What about the ti? What about the yearnings and the tiredness? What about the tiredness?

What about the yearnings and the tiredness? And the tiredness of those who are doing the yearning? 110,000 migrants. We have to feed, clothes, house, educate the children, watch their laundry sheets. This issue will destroy New York City. Educate the children, watch their laundry sheets, this issue, will destroy New York City. Destroy New York City. I mean, they're supposed to be doing our sheets.

What's going on around here? What kind of topsy-thurvy world are we living over here? Yes, it turns out in the age-old battle between values and fear. Values never had a fucking chance. It took two busloads of Venezuelans to go from this to this. So this is the terrible cycle America is caught in. Democrats, whose high-minded values and principles did not survive a contact tie with reality,

and Republicans whose desire to solve the problem isn't nearly as strong as their desire to exploit it. And no one wins. Well, except this guy. Clearly in shape. He said, you guys are showing up to six packs and military boots. Learn more about it in his new special, Dr. Phil, straddles the border. When we come back, Uncle Jonathan Blitzer will be joining me. Don't fall away.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. Hey, everybody. John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to

bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to the day and show my guest tonight covers immigration for the New Yorker. His new book is called Everyone Who Is Gone and the the the United States and Central America and the making of a crisis. Please welcome to the program Jonathan Blitzer.

Sir. Sir. Thank you for joining us. First things first, what are you doing to? First things first, what are you doing to me? First things first, what are you doing to me? I have a family, I have a life, this is a very long book. You don't have to read the notes. And notes, you can't have to read the whole, no, that's fine.

Son of a bitch. What an incredibly thorough documentation of the causes of the immigration crisis, the discussions that have been going on through multiple administrations. In your mind, what has us trapped in this sort of Sisyphysian nightmare? Yeah. I mean, for years and years, we've watched kind of in this loop, as politicians in Washington say, we can't pass comprehensive immigration reform because of the situation of the border. And yet, the situation of the border is in a state of chaos because we have not

passed comprehensive immigration reform. And as a result, the asylum system at the southern border has borne the brunt of the otherwise failing system. And so we're stuck in this loop where lawmakers in Washington point to the border to justify their inaction. And the border is in the million people coming through the southern border and they are just being kind of logged and released. That sounds utterly chaotic and a recipe for disaster.

But how many people can this country absorb? What do we need for economic growth? What is a better system? I feel like we never talk about that. We just react to images of chaos. Absolutely, I mean, we can't talk about one aspect of the immigration system without view of the other. And so if we're only ever talking about the southern border,

we're missing the entire kind of picture that we need to better understand. But just as an example, you know, right now, and you, and you, and you, and you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to took, to be, to we need to better understand. But just as an example, you know, right now, the, and you don't take my word for it, I mean, no, I do. You're, you should, you don't. You're the only one. Until you read the foot, you know, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, you know, the economist across the country, everyone isloat following the COVID years and so you know this is the engine of growth the population is getting older the workforce is to find? That immigrant labor can be more easily exploited is paid less starts to depress wages for a lot of other people is

that not accurate? I don't I don't think it is entirely I think it's a much more accurate. So it's a reasonably accurate. Well, until there are ways of absorbing an immigrant labor force legally into the country, there are always going to be opportunities for employers to exploit the undocumented and in the process to drive down working wages. And so the idea is there needs to be a thoroughgoing reform of the system. And the problem is, of course, that in Washington, that's been dead on arrival now for decades. And so we're kind of in this doom loop where the border is the symbol of everything.

But obviously, in a kind of common sensical way, the only way to approach this broader problem is to deal with every aspect of the system. This is where you drop us like the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. tho. tho. tho tho. tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the the th. the. the. the. theea. to to to to to to to to to the theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea you say, but here's the good news. Yeah. Go. What's in here? No! I would say the good news is that from a policy perspective, at at least doing some of the things to relieve pressure at the southern border are no great mystery to lawmakers. I mean, the problem, of course, is the politics, but it doesn't require any great feat of the imagination. This is not a complexity beyond the imagination of human beings. Correct. And we don't have to restabilize areas we destabilized to really get a handle on it.

It's about fixing the system of influx. I mean, I think, you know, overall, the only way to kind to to kind to kind to kind to to to to to the only way to to the only way to to the only way to to to the only way to to to the only way to kind of deal with migration trends in the world is to understand the forces in a global context. And that means that the United States has to be more mindful of the consequences of its foreign policy. It has to work with partners in the region, you know, all very realistic things. I'm sorry, I blacked out when you said something about mindful foreign policy and I just started thinking about you too

in the sphere. I don't know what's going on. But I will say this, you know, one of the ways, you know, reforming the asylum system specifically is a complex task and I do think some hard decisions have to be made about kind of reckoning with the population of people showing up at the southern border and kind of understanding what the limits are of the asylum system as we know..... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the toe. the toe. the toe. toe. toe. their thi. thi. the their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I. And, the. And, the. And, thean. And, thean.eananananan.eanananananananananananananananananananananananan.eateate.e. And, theate. And, the. And, the southern border and kind of understanding what the limits are of the asylum system as we know it. But before we get to a point of having to make these major sacrifices to a system that I think really should be a core part of American policy for the ethical reasons and just for straight ahead policy reasons. Branding, to say nothing else, there are things that could be done, basic things like sending more money to the

government to hire more asylum officers, more immigration judges. These things sound boring, they sound wonky, and very specifically, Republicans in Congress are trying to block these very straight ahead basic measures from taking place, just basic funding measures because they benefit from increased chaos at the southern border. So there are things that could be done that would not, they're not a silver bullet. You have, there's no hope until after the election to even address any of it. I mean it's pretty overwhelming to see right now Republicans in Congress basically say we're not going to toucest this. I mean they've said it explicitly. This is the greatest danger to America, you know, maybe ever and we're not going to do anything because we think it's a great issue. I mean, that's truly devious.

Yeah. And well, and the plot of that playing out was the administration, the Biden administration, went to Congress and said we need more money to increase redispres of the southern border. And... But they were slow on the uptick as well. Absolutely. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their the the the the the the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by the by. the by. the by. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the southern border. But they were slow on the uptick as well. Absolutely. And there's plenty that the Biden administration could be faulted for. They go to Congress, they ask for money. That doesn't work because Republicans say, no, no, no, no, we want to see further changes to the asylum system as we know it. The administration goes to the negotiating table, makes a series of compromisesises compri compri compri compris compris compris comprises comprises comprises comprises comprises comprises comprises, that compromises, that compromises, that compromises, that compromises, that compromises, just in their own orientation in this conversation. And they finally broker this deal.

I mean, this isn't just a democratic effort. This is a bipartisan group in the Senate doing this. Before the terms of the deal are even announced, you have Mitch McConnell saying to his Senate members, listen, you know, the politics of this politics, have changed. And the politics having changed were Trump came out against this negotiation. And so it was very clear, I mean a very clear calculation was made that we benefit from the situation getting worse.

It's so tough because McConnell's usually so idealistic. It's just hard to see. I was shocked. It's shocking. Geez. Geez, self-serving politics. That's not the guy I know. Everyone who is gone is here. It's available. Jonathan Blitz, we're going to take a quick break. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Hey everybody, John Stewart here.

I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Ronnie Chang, ladies and gentlemen.

Really? So nice to see you. A big week that's coming up. You got a Super Tuesday tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Yeah. State of the Union on Thursday, Ronnie. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. State of the Union on Thursday, Ronnie. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Is there something else you're planning on covering here? Where is Kate Middleton? Where are you, Kate? Some people think she's dead? Some people think she got a BBL. My theory is they

didn't turn the BBL machine off in time and now she's all BBL. So stop looking for Cape Milton and start looking for a princess-sized BBL. It's an important story, Ronnie Cong at the desk this week, ladies and gentlemen. Here thinks your moment ladies and gentlemen. It is nothing in the case of Biden on Thursday a cynical, sick political stunt by the president and frankly it is beyond disgraceful. We will be at the border with President Trump on Thursday. Explore more shows from the Daily Show from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

This has been a comedy central podcast. Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast on fire and this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action Charlie I'm excited to do this together. Thanks Jeff so excited to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast starting September 18th, wherever you get your podcasts.