The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jon Stewarts Reports On Chris Christe's 'Bridgegate' | TDS Time Machine

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

The Daily Show jumps back in time to this day in 2014. Host Jon Stewart covers Chris Christie's controversial lane closure at the George Washington Bridge. And Brit Hume argues that Chris Christie is the victim of America's "feminized atmosphere." Plus, Samantha Bee employs her theatrical talents to explain how Fox News's "The Five" is a love story. And Tim Gunn discusses his pinky pact with Heidi Klum and his show, "Under the Gunn."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, this is Tom Segura. And I'm Bert Kreischer. And you're listening to Two Bears One Cave, or you should be listening to Two Bears One Cave. We are on Spotify. On Spotify. And we are not smart? That's an understatement. But you'll have a lot of fun, hopefully. I think you might enjoy it if you give us a listen. If you got your perfect blood work back from your doctor and you have full permission to tie one on. Make sure you check out Two Bears One Cave. It's with me, Tom Segura and my co-host, Bert Chryser. The Machine. My shirt's off. You're listening to Comedy Central.

January 14th, 2014. From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York, this is the Daily Show with John Stewart. Welcome to the Daily Show. What is John Stewart? Well, we have made a show I'm the Joy Stewart. We have made a show for you tonight by hand. Our guest tonight from the Lifetime Show, under the gun, one of our favorites, Mr. Tim Gunn is going to be joining us. First, like a car, unable to move forward on its way to Fort Lee, New Jersey. First, like a car, unable to move forward on its way to Fort Lee, New Jersey, we, as

a nation, remain stuck in the news traffic jam. That is, Christopher Christie. New evidence that will be coming out today on what many people are now calling, Bridgegate. Can the New Jersey Governor recover from the Bridgegate scandal? Chris, Christie, Bridge Gate probe. Bridgegate? First of all, Bridgegate? Can the New Jersey governor recover from the Bridgegate scandal? Chris Christie Bridgegate probe. Bridge Gate? First of all, Bridgegate, come on! Does every scandal have to get a gate? Watergate was a completely different animal. It was a petty crime of political intrigue by an incumbent

already cruising to an easy re-election victory. It was an unforced error where the cover-up was actually more damaging. This is no water, this is about a... But the point is, now that we're looking at Chris Christie, the hunt for Christie scandals is on. There is blood in the water in New Jersey. But this time, it's not coming out of used syringes or discarded Teamsters. Jersey City Mayor Steve Fullup, a Democrat, considered endorsing Christie for re-election last year,

but then declined to do so on July 18th. Over the next two days, Christie appointees canceled upcoming meetings with him. Fullop tried to reschedule but was ignored. He believes it was payback. Oh, I had a scheduled meeting rendezvous and it was postponed. Oh, the pain. Listen, Mayor, that may count his payback on Downton Abbey. This is New Jersey, paybacks waking up duct tape to the roof of the Holland Tunnel during the Friday afternoon. Rush hour. Now that, oh, I was going to be eating with them and then they said, what about

tomorrow? Now some have claimed that all of this, the bridge shut down, the leaning on mayors, is proof that old Governor Christie here is a bit of a bully. But on Fox, one man was smart enough to see through all that. What about this bully narrative? Well, I would have to say that in this sort of feminized atmosphere. Feminized atmosphere, well, of New Jersey? Feminized atmosphere of New Jersey? Feminized? The state whose chief exports are axe, body spray, and lit farts? That atmosphere? Or do you mean the feminized atmosphere in which we all have to coexist with each other?

Men today have learned the lesson the hard way that if you act like a kind of an old-fashioned guy's guy, you're in constant danger of slipping out and saying something that's going to get you in trouble and make you look like a sexist or make you look like you seem thuggish or whatever. Ah! So bullies, thugs, and sexists are the real victims here. If you think about it, for not very long. Which is why this idea that the real tragedy in this entire situation is the overly PC

vaginification of America, and that that thought found a comfortable home on the Fox News Network. I thought your analysis of the tough guy factor in politics was right on Hume. Of course I would say that because I'm a big target as well. If you have that tough guy image, you speak bluntly, even sometimes rudely, especially if you take on certain interests, teachers union in Chris Christie's case, you do run the risk of being accused of being a bully. Look, listen to how wistful they are for the old days. They're like the Wilford brimlies of sexism. You know, it used to be in the old days.

Neighbors would leave the doors open, and people said, thank you, and God bless you. And a good meal cost a dollar. And hell, you could grab a woman's breast and say, tune in, Tokyo. As if she were a radio, but I suppose times have changed. How would it be, then, if this is about the feminization of America, that the toughest politician out there, other than Chris Christie of America, that the toughest politician out there other than Chris Christie just happens to be a woman. Political magazine up with a piece called Hillary's hit list. List of friends and enemies ranking them on a one to seven scale with one being most

helpful, seven being quote, treacherous. Turns out you don't need a dick to be a dick. And you don't see, you don't see, you don't see, you don't see her partisans crying gender politics. Would we not be talking about this if this was a man that was involved here? I absolutely agree. If a guy has a list of people he's not too keen on, no big deal. But if a woman does, then that is a big deal, and then it becomes juicy. Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, do I hate our news media? You know, yes, we never talk about a male politician's enemy list.

The president still bullying the Supreme Court and adding to his Nixonian enemies list. The Internal Revenue Service has been maintaining an enemies list of its own. The Police Foundation, the country's leading thing tank on effective and just police work, is on the NRA's enemies list. During the Watergate investigation, the president had not only bugged the Democratic National Committee, but it also created enemies lists. Wow! A lot of people have enemies lists, and it's kind of newsworthy, no matter who they are,

men or women. Should I have an enemies list? I do. One word. Dairy, you have f-meaed me for the last time. We'll be right back. Have you ever been watching the news and thought to yourself, wow, the Supreme Court sure does suck. We made a podcast about that.

We sure did. There is a super majority of conservative maniacs on the Supreme Court right now, really doing some damage. I'm Michael. I'm Riannan. And I'm Peter. Our podcast, 5-4 is about all of this. Every week we dissect and analyze a different ruling that has made our country a little worse, a little more cruel. And you would not believe how many of them there are. Check out 5 to 4. That's the number 5, dash pundits, whose opinions ranged from Wall Street conservative to 50-year-old frat-boy conservative to George W. Bush conservative to... conservative to Fox liberal.

When you walk down the street, you must feel like a Chinaman walking in an NBA rally. I would like to have a personal masseuse, preferably Korean. In Nigeria, what they must do is the greatest scam artists in the world, they must teach them how to run scams and pickpocket people. And Iranians kill people. No more student visas for B. Slow down, Chomsky. So that's their liberal. With more on the five, Samantha, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. tho, th. tho, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to. to tog. to to to tog. tog. to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. ir liberal. With more on the five, it's our own Samantha B. Samantha, nice to see you. Hello.

Now, Samantha, what do you feel like these panel shows like the five bring to the analysis of the news? John, I'm sorry, please don't compare the five to other panel shows. Okay, the five is so much more than just a panel show. It's life itself. It is everything. How are they different from a panel show? They seem like that. John, perhaps you're unacquainted with my one-woman show inspired by the Five. I shall now perform it for you.

I don't, I don't, I don't think we have five. Shush. Easy little John. Mama's in control now. John, the Five is the storyboard of the human condition. And I know this because I'm Samantha B. And I watch The Five. The truth about the five is that it's a story as old as time. A story of love.

One that rivals the works of a Shakespeare or a Nicholas Sparks. This story of love is rooted in that deepest human emotion. Riding the boner train to Pound Town. It's the tale of a Winston Blonde en genu. Dana Perino, a young girl new to the big city. With big dreams and a heart so pure, she makes Mary Poppins look like a disgusting whorebag. I am in bed asleep by 1030. I'm definitely awake by 630.

There is a certain word that rhymes with, Truck. Should the detainees be given the E-word in the first place, we're going to discuss next to the erotica? I can't say that. The reason they don't start families is because they feel like they don't they're not financially secure enough to start a family yet. It's not that they're not having SEX. She can't say S-E-X. She's not a a word. Now nobody falls for a good girl harder than a bad boy. And nobody was better for a good girl harder than a bad boy. And no boy was better than the rebellishishes. Greg got felled.

I was on percissette for seven days, best week of my life. I'm drunk now. I've been drinking since two. I gave three people hepatitis. A pill-popping afternoon drunk who's riddled with hepatitis. There's gotta be a catch. Greg and Dana were total opposites. They should never have even been seated together.

But once they were, pshed. Pshel-electric! These beautiful flowers. And I wanted to give them to Greg. It's a photo rose. You could have this in your office. Greg was very chivalrised and gave me his jacket in the break. How do I laugh at anything you say? One last question to Greg, is pot an

aphrodisiac? Why do you do that to you? How do you have that power? I know, is it? Oh, you? Oh, you. Of course a girl like Dana, she's not going to have just one suitor. It's a game of high stakes international chess so I put together a big old chess board right here. The camera to take this because this is what you agreed to wear. We fivers want to take you through how we're dealing with the flu. I have to do this. Okay. What is that?

Is that ketchup? Really, Eric Bowling? Prop comedy? That's not gonna work on Dana. This isn't 1980, and you ain't no Gallagher. Besides, Greg and Dana's love couldn't be denied. Not that others didn't try to pull them apart. Which brings us to our story's villain.

A man with a soul so dark, he couldn't abide Greg and Dana's happiness. He knew exposing their secret love would be a scandal the likes of which the world had never seen. And on the day the five were outside grilling meat, that's just what Bob Beckle did. We put Gutfeld on here, we could have Gruntz... Now, what's... That'll be the best meat you ever had. I'm sure it would be. That's what Dana tells me. Is that, is that, is it true? Big f-bush mrs. Big f-bush mistake, Bob.

How about I take those suspenders and hang you by your balls? But none of it mattered. All was empty. Meaningless because it turned out Greg and Dana had worse problems than scumbob big pants. I want to wish a happy ninth anniversary to my wife Elena. Oh! He has a wife. You have a wife? That's not something you could have mentioned. In the three years you've been sitting next to Dana,

you two-timing monster. Letting Dana, precious Dana, fall in love with you, while you are just galvanting around your stupid studio, laughing it up with your secret wife, and your dick pills. You know what? All the while breaking a heart? You've broken all our hearts. Here, just take mine, I don't need it anymore.

Burn and hell for all eternity! I died! So, what's your take on the view? Do you have to? Oh, you know what? It's good. It's good in the background when you're vacuuming or whatever. Okay, Sam, Sam Beeth, everybody. Thank you. Sam Bee. Have you ever been watching the news and thought to yourself, wow, the Supreme Court sure does suck. We made a podcast about that. We sure did. There is a super majority of conservative

maniacs on the Supreme Court right now, really doing some damage. I'm Michael. I'm Riannan. And I'm Peter. Our podcast, 5-4 is about all of this. Every week we dissect and analyze a different ruling that has made our country a little worse, a little more cruel. And you would not believe how many of them there are. Check out five to four. That's the number five, dash the number four, wherever you listen to my guest tonight. He's the co-host of Project Runway, his new show is Lifetimes Under the Gun.

Guess who's DVR in that, f-ye, yeah. Welcome back to the show, Tim Gunn! Come and thank you. How are you? Look at shop as always. I'm fantastic. But why do I have to follow Samantha B? Can I tell you something? Did she leave it out on the floor?

That was like Patty Lupone and she was phenomenal. That was Blanche Duboiselle lesticulation. I thought it was amazing. Really? How are you doing? I'm fantastic. Thank you so much. They finally understood the gold they had with gun, gave you your own show this under the guns.

No, they were desperate. No, they really were. We were scheduled, loosely scheduled to shoot a new season of Project Runway. Heidi was only marginally consulted. How ridiculous is that? Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum. And Heidi said, I'm not available.

And Heidi and I said, and I said, and I have to find a little pinky packed. And it is that if either one of us can't do the show, the other one's not doing it. So they came to me and they said, we can find another host and I said, well, you'll have to find another mentor too. You stood up and you said, you can't do this to Heidi. Tim Gunn stands with Heidi Klum. I did. I do stand with Heidi Klum.

I do stand with Heidi Klum. Nicely done, sir. You know, it ask you this. She loves you. Did you, and I'm very fond of her. She, you always look, before you were on television, did you always look this put together? Oh, you flatter me.

Could you go out looking like a slob? Or do you feel pressure now? You can't do that? I can't. You can't do that? I can't do it. You can't. I can't. And that's pressure. Yeah.

It is. Sunday morning, you wake up. It's raining out. You've met a long night. You've been doing something. You're out. You're tired. You want to get up and you want to put on? Well I mean I'm not a crazy person and this weather I'll wear a turtleneck and a pair of jeans and I'll put a

pea coat on. So you look as good as I've ever looked. Stop that. You're one of the best dress guys on television. They hang it on my door I put you have no, you should see, can I tell you a trick that I do here? th. on th. on th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the th. I'm the the th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. tee. tee. tea. te. te. te. te. I t They hang it on my door. I put, you have no, you should see, can I tell you a trick that I do here? On Monday, especially in the wintertime I do this. So I got longjohns and I'll wear like a t-shirt over it on Monday. On Tuesday, I put the t-shirt on it, I put the long j keep doing that back and forth, then everybody thinks like, hey, that guy really changes his shirts. That's really true though, sadly. This show now, though, have you finished taping it?

Are you done? We finished about three and a half weeks ago. And another New York production? No, where? Where? This goes back to Heidi. OK? .. Oh, th, th, that, th, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. We, th. We, tho, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. It's, th. It's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that. that's, that's, that, that, that, that, th in Los Angeles. Now, this goes back to Heidi. In deference to Heidi, who lives in LA, we didn't.

Oh, I thought she lived in New York? No, she lives in LA. So she comes here for a season of Project Runway. Doing two seasons, we were going to do that in LA. So you went to LA. So I did. Isn't mean the traffic is a challenge yes I mean we have lots of field trips and we go back and forth to mood for most of our challenges and it just takes time so we end up extending the work day which means the designers get less sleep right

right right so it's not exactly a good thing. Are they they really like are they being how they they do? How long? How are they are they they they the they the they they the they the they they the the they they the the they the they they they their their they their they they their their they they they they their they they they they their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th thi thi thi try try try try try try try try try try try try to try to to to to the thi thi thi th let's say they're on the show 12 hour day 14 hour day what are they it's more like an 18 hour day really it is I will tell you this though I mean let's talk about a challenge set up day yeah we travel to where we set it up so that's an hour then it then it's all the lighting and everything else that's an hour you know what this yeah so it's sitting around and then then we we we we we we we we we we we we we we the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th I th I th I th I th I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I the. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I then we present the challenge and then they sketch and then we have to travel to mood and we shop at mood and we get back to the workroom. By the time we get back, they have about 10 hours to work. So let me tell you something. That's why God invented Adderall. All right.

Well, I'm excited. Well, I Very excited. Thank you. Tim Gunn, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Thank you. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmouth Plus.

This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey guys, this is Tom Segura. And I'm Burke Cricer. And you're listening to Two Bears One Cave. We are on Spotify. On Spotify. And we are not smart. That's an understatement. But you'll have a lot of fun, hopefully. I think you might enjoy it if you give us a listen.

If you got your perfect blood work back from your doctor and you have full permission to tie one on, make sure you check out Two Bears One Cave. It's with me, Tom Stegura and my co-hosts. Bert Chryser. The machine.