The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jordan Klepper Debunks The “Good Guy with a Gun” Argument | TDS Time Machine

Episode Date: December 10, 2023

The Daily Show jumps back in time to this day in 2015. Trevor Noah covers the rise in gun sales after a mass shooting and Jordan Klepper sets out to determine the likelihood of another gun owner stopping an active shooter. Plus, Michael Strahan discusses his transition from the NFL to morning television.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. December 10th, 2015. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noe. Thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody to the Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. We've got a fantastic show for you today.

Our guest, co-host of Live with Kelly and Michael. Michael Stray Henders, yeah, everybody! Yeah! But we begin tonight with guns. Can't live with them, can't live without them. I mean, unless of course you live in Australia or England. And so, oh, well, Italy or Japan. Anyway, the point, oh, Denmark or Luxembourg.

Sorry, this is so embarrassing. Always forget Luxembourg. But the point is so embarrassing. Always forget Luxembourg. But the point is, you can't live without guns. Because without them, life isn't the same. Because guns can do pretty much anything. You can go hunting. You can combine them with roses. And they can even make a raccoon look bad-ass.

All of which may explain why in the wake of the San Bernardino shooting, Americans responded in the way that they did. At a gun shop, less than two miles from the scene of last week's massacre, more than two dozen people were lined up outside when it opened this morning. Gun legislation, front and center, which only gets all the people who want guns to run and go get them. What, so, this is so confusing to me. So people get shot, and so people go out and buy guns. I don't understand why people aren't buying bulletproof vests.

How is that not on the top of everyone's Christmas list? I don't understand it. I want I want. I want a vest. Now, the reason some people are doing this is because there's a fear that the government is going to take away all the guns. But I don't understand why people think this, you know? Why do you think this? Because, I mean, mass shootings are here to stay. What makes you think that this shooting is the one that's going to start gun control? There have been the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their thi thi thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thr--s. I's thr-s. I's thr-s. Iauuu-s. thea'ea'ea'ea'ea'eateatr-------------s. America just since Obama's been in office. I mean, at this point, he gives so many mass shooting speeches that he might as well just walk around with a podium as his belt buckle, so he's always ready to go. That's a funny. I mean, if America hasn't banned guns by now, I think gun owners can rest easy. But look, I get it.

Many Americans feel like they need protection. And for some, the best form of defense is attack. The gun range where Syed Rizwan Farouk did some target practice two days before he killed 14 coworkers. Business there is up 60% since the attack. The shooting range where the terrorist practiced got a 60% increase in business. That's weird logic. People were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, look, I know they were terrorists,

but you can't knock the training. You don't go to the place where the assholes learned their craft. I mean, that's like going to learn from the cobra tie after you watch Johnny sweep the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the where the assholes learn their craft. I mean, that's like going to learn from the Cobra Kai after you watch Johnny sweep the leg. That is not cool. That is not cool. You learn from Mr. Miyagi and he gives you a vest. But not everyone, not everyone thinks that the answer is more guns. Some people think that the answer is bigger guns. After the latest mass shooting in San Bernardino, Northeastern University announcing a controversial plan

to arm campus officers with semi-automatic rifles. Hmm. So now, students can go to a place where they live for years, eating shi-hicky meals, spending most of their time sharing a tiny room with a stranger, experimenting with same-sex relationships, all while a group of guards patrol with AR-15s. You guys have officially turned college into prison. Now, if there's one thing I've learned living in America, there's only one way to stop a bad guy with a gun.

And for that, Jordan Klepper filed this report. It seems like every day there's a new mass shooting, but turn on the TV and the solution is crystal clear. We should arm the good guys. Whether it's in Denny's or in a classroom. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun. There's a good guy with a gun. Good guy with a gun.

One good guy with a gun. Sounds like a foolproof plan. It's time to do my duty. It's time to become Jordan Clepper, good guy with a gun. The first thing any good guy with a gun needs is his concealed handgun license, which in Obama's New York City is almost impossible to get. Luckily it's super easy in Florida. You don't even have to f-e'li there.

You can just mail in an application. And once that gets approved, it instantly becomes valid in these 30 states. So all I have to do to qualify for my handgun license is buy a stamp and pass any NRA gun safety course. Buckle up Buttercup, Daddy's packing. I've come to the New Jersey Firearms Academy to train with Chief Instructor and Cowboy Silo Green impersonator Latif Dickerson. Chief what do we have here? We have some handguns, the H&K-Heklin-Coke Model USP. This gun here is the Glock Model 19. Which one does this good guy get?

You get this one. Seriously? This mustard-colored toy? This is a mustard-colored toy? It's not a toy. That is a plastic training gun, and we're gonna hit somebody with the bubbles that it blows out? It's called muzzle discipline, having discipline to where that muzzle is pointing at all times. All right, I'll have that muzzle discipline. Great. I just want you to know, I don't obey any rules.

Kind of a wildcard, kind of a wildcard. thrown. to be a theurown. Can't happen. It won't happen here, but I'm just kind of one of those guys. I'm a rule breaker. Don't break any rules. I won't break any of these rules. No, not these rules. Because someone can either die or you can become incarcerated. Teach me out to shoot a gun.

Chief broke down all the key points of firearm safety, like aiming. Contact on the grip. the gun in your mouth. No. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thi. the thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toooooooooooooooooooo Suck on this metal. And not like that. What am I? Keep the gun just like that. Can't talk with a gun in your mouth. No. Right? Not turn the gun sideways.

Keep the gun vertical up and down. Okay, if I hold it like this, can I still say, suck on this piece? No. Good guys don't tell bad guys to suck on their piece before they shoot them. What do they do? Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Then I was ambushed by a grueling written exam. It was three entire pages, double-sided, multiple choice. Stop fiddling with it, you'll break it off.

But I'm not used to say. The test contained brainbusters like, true or false, always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction. That's actually a question. It's pretty much a no-brainer. It's true. Right? It's true. Yeah.

Yeah. It was tough, but luckily I had a few bullets up my sleeve. You a share fan, chief? You a share fan, chief? I do not like share. More for me. Now there's only one thing standing between me, share, and saving American lives. Firing an actual for real-life handgun.

Turns out, I'm a fucking natural. Boom. All right. Well, let's get it. All right. Let's try to hit him in the dick, but you didn't give you the croach for us. This basic firearm is of course, we just want to keep our shots in the center. Yeah, but you could make the target bigger so the crotch

is in the center. The head, and then the shoulders, and the arms, then it comes here, and then right here is just total crotch. Right now, we're just trying to keep our shots in the center of the target. So? Okay. How'd I do? we continue the training? If you want to train some more, but this is, you know, this is good. This is it? You're a good guy with a gun. That's me? There you go.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I'd done it. I'd gone from gun idiot to idiot with a gun. Qualified to conceal a deadly weapon in most of the country, probably in your home state. With all of eight hours of training, I, th, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. to, th. thi. to, to, to, to, thi, to, to, thi, thi, thi, to, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the thi. thi. the the. thi. the. And, the. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, theea. And, thea. And, thea. And, the. And, the. And, th state. With all of eight hours of training, I was ready to handle every crisis situation. You're not ready to handle every crisis situation. Who the f-fix are you? Find out who the f-fee, this guy is in part two of Jordan Clepper, good guy with a gun, thrown to thooo. to thiii. John Stewart here. Thank you, Jordan. Coming up, part two of Jordan Klemper, a good guy with a gun, right after this. John Stewart here.

Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio, on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back. When we left Jordan, he was newly licensed to carry a concealed weapon in most of America. Hooray! Now let's see what he does with that license in part two. After almost eight entire hours, I'd completed all the training needed to get a concealed handgun license that would be valid in 30 states.

Good job. But now this muscular stranger was telling me I wasn't ready to handle every crisis situation. You're not ready to handle every crisis situation. Who the fuck are you? I'm Pete Blair, I'm the director of the alert program. Alert! Or the Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training Program has trained over 80,000 cops to respond to active shooter events. So why was this dude trying to jam up on my gun nuts? Because you've had one day of training. I see how it is. You want to take away our guns?

I would want to take away anybody's gun. Good. But I would want to tha to to to to to to to help to help to to help to help to help to help to help to help to to help to help to help to to to help to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. theirf. the. the. the. the. thea. ta.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a away anybody's gun. Good. But I would want to help train them. Okay. I'll tell you, 30 states, the NRA and Uncle Sam all think that I'm good to go when it comes to guns. How many rounds did you shoot? Is rounds bullets? Yes. A tonne. Ten. 2050? Yeah. And I shot him at the to you as a hot weapon. Okay.

Alert agreed to test my Eastwood-like reflexes in the following simulation. There's an active shooter in the building. With my Glock 17 modified to shoot paintball-like bullets, I'm the good guy with a gun who's gonna take him down. Okay so you need to be ready. It could happen in any second from this point on just need to be ready. Stop! Stop! Okay, that was a test run. I wasn't even ready. Probably not going to be ready for it in real life. I get a do-over. Let's do it over again.

So I kneel down and prepared to do battle. And got shot again. And again. And again. They fired. Why was that so hard? That was nothing like call of duty. I told you it's not that simple. Yeah, but the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

That's science. That's inaccurate. About one out of every five actor-shooter events get stopped by a potential victim, and most of those victims are unarmed. Where did you get those stats from some liberal think tank like Hillary Pack? No, it's from the FBI report that came out last year, a study of active shooter incidents from 2000 to 2013. Obama's FBI?

It's the FBI. Yeah. You believe that liberal clap trap? I'm one of the co-authors of the report. I took a closer look at his report and it pretty much th. th. th. th cases where we have good guys with guns who are able to stop the shooter. Most cases? Very few cases. Half the cases.

Not half. A quarter of the cases. Not a quarter of the cases. What's the percent? It's about 3 percent? 3 percent? The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. We must not have enough guns. 97% more people had guns, 100% of the time, there'd be 0% crime.

I'm not sure that's how math works. Pete, it's simple. Gun goes bang, bad guy falls down, I get to have sex with share. What more do I need to learn? If you're going to have a gun, we recommend as much training as you can get. Fine, I'll train some more. Alert uses this abandoned elementary school to teach law enforcement to respond to active shooter events. Their on-site traders have over 40 years of combined experience in military and law enforcement. Training with these guys, I'd finally get enough training.

There's not so much a destination, it's a journey. But that destination is Heroville in the state of Blowjob Land. It's just, I mean like when you're a hero, cool stuff happens. Oh. I've got a condo there, it's Handjob Village, but you guys should come by sometime. Absolutely. I don't think that's right. I'm getting lost to this medical. Yes, yes. After yet another four-and-a-half more hours of training it was time to show them how it's done. The scenario is as follows. I hear shots fired at an elementary school. Police are on the way but with innocent civilians inside I have to draw my concealed handgun and respond. With a high-tech safety helmet to cover my face and a f-fowel to protect my dick and balls I'm ready to be a hero. There's the bad guy mission accomplished.

You're bad? Are you bad? Why are you? Okay so that wasn't the bad guy. So where are the bad? There they are. There they are. I'm being shot. Oh thank God. Oh thank. Oh, thank God, the authorities are here. I just hope they know I'm a good guy. I had failed. I had failed. Do you guys need help? I'm a good guy.

I was shot over 20 times by two different bad guys with guns. And then the police mistook me for a bad guy and shot me a bunch too. Also, I may have shot an unarmed teen twice. It was tough. Being a good guy with a gun was starting to feel way more complicated than movies and video games and politicians make it seem. It's a complex situation and you don't want to just give people guns and say, you assume they know what they're going to do. It requires a lot of training.

Who's got time for that much their lives to protecting others. That's it. Being a good guy with a gun just takes a lifetime commitment to training. All we have to do is figure out who the good guys are. Get millions of them to volunteer for 300 hours of training a year costing billions of dollars, then make sure they're in the right place at the right time, guns at the ready and place this civilian army in our 4,700 colleges, to 77777000 malls, hundreds of thousands of churches, you know, America. Just do that. Or...

Can we just, I don't know, figure out a way to not put a gun in this asshole's hand? It's not my, not my place for that, alright. I feel like that's an idea, just... Try to get this asshole to not have a gun. Well, I don't think that's going to happen in our lifetime. Well, it was worth a shot. At least I can conceal a handgun almost everywhere. Sleep tight, America. Schon, Jeff, we'll be right back.

Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What? What. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. tho. thooooo. My th. My thoo. My the the the the the the to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. the tho. tho. the the thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the thetalking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls?

We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back. My guest tonight is an NFL legend who played 15 seasons with the New York Giants. He's also the co-host of Live with Kelly and Michael. His new book is called Wake Up Happy. Please welcome Michael Strahan. Oh! Oh! I'm coming. That's what you're today. Oh!

Oh! Ow! I'm kind of... Oh! I'm kind of... Whoa! That's what you hear when you walk around. Oh!

You are hurting people with your looks. thou! You know what people with your looks, ow! You know what happens when you get on TV, all of a sudden you become cute? Is that what happened? Before I was like, why don't he get his teeth fix? I was that guy. Now I'm like, oh, he's so handsome? Oh, man. But thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your blind guy. You deserve it. Thank you so much for being on the show. This is fun because I I I I I I th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. You deserve it. Thank you so much for being on the show. This is fun because I was on your show and then I said, you come on my show and then you said, yeah I'll come on your show and then you'll come and then you'll come and you said,

I'll come in your show, but you're so funny. No, no, I love you're thrown's the hardest seat to feel. I thought Regis was hard. That's nothing. Your job is hard. Not saying there's nothing, but this I think would be hard in the morning and you have to act like you're happy about it. That's not easy. That is not, oh, wake up happy. Oh, I see what you did there. I see what you did there. You had Donald Trump on it. Yes, yesterday. And he made a, oh, he tried to explain a joke

about wanting to date his daughter. You guys look very confused. You didn't know what had happened, did you? Well, some jokes you should never repeat. And if you have to explain it, it probably wasn't a good joke. Yeah. And so when he said it, I was probably like the people heard it the first time, like, huh? What did you say?

But it was so funny because I saw your faces. Because I mean, I'm not assuming that he saw the show, but we had evidence to prove that Donald Trump wants to bang his daughter. And so when he came on your show, just was and your faces were just like did this man just say he wanted to it kind of came out of nowhere it did you'd say well don't know you know where you know what about your campaign well that was a joke about my daughter and I'm like hey it kind of it was a little confusing yeah yeah I could see it but you played it off

because you're a great host man. I really enjoy that. It was a no, you really are. Let's um Let's talk about this book. I mean when people think Michael Strahan partly because you're a big bulky guy you don't think of book writer. Yeah, and yet it was a fantastic book. This is true though muscles and books are not known to associate I mean that is why I don't know why you guys are making it like I'm insulting him. This is true. No, no, no, I've never... Big bulky guy who wrote a book. That's what it says on the back, a big bulky guy who wrote a book. But it's an amazing book, it's an amazing book that I learned. I learned so many things about you. For one, I did not know that you were raised in Germany. Yeah. I grew up in up in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th. I. I. I. I th th th th. I th th th. I the the the the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I thea. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th the the the the the thea. I'm thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I the the the the nine years old. Spressenze the Deutsch? Ambition? Ambition? Yeah. Don't go any further.

That's it. Oh man, I can just imagine little Mike, because you were fat as well, which just makes it all so much better. No, he was. In the book, it's a most beautiful story. Oh, I just made you try to make me tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! tha! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi. thi. thi. t t t toda! toda! toda! toda! toda! toda! toda! toda! toda! today. thi! th running around you right? You're trying to make me cry, man. Yes, I was not fat, I was just big bone. You say fat in the book. You said fat in the book.

That's a misprint. I was big bone. But it really is a beautiful story, because it's not just about you as a kid and growing. It's almost an inspirational book without it being airy fairy. So you go, we start start start and you apply it to your life. Getting into Kelly and Michael, that's another fascinating story to read about in the book because a lot of people don't associate you as a talk. Like people wouldn't think of that off the bat. Yeah, funny enough, you said that when you were a guest, I wasn't really a guest.

I was kind of like a walkout guy. Like we wanted the Super Bowl and I guess Eli Manning wasn't available so they called me. And I said, okay, I'll do it. And a guest gets a seat. I kind of walked out and was kind of just next to the desk. And he said, what are you going to do now that you're retired? And I'm like, oh, you know I'm on a show now and maybe you'll retire and to retire and maybe they... th. th. th. th. th. And to be retired. And to be retired. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'll to. to. to be toe. toe, the the toe. toe. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll to me me me me me. And I'll to me. And I'll to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the guest. And I'll the guest. And I I I I I I'll the the guest. And I I I I I'll the the the the the the the the the th. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th th th th t toda. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll. And I'll the th the the. And I joke. And two years later, he retired. I went on and guest-hosted it 20 times. And I never thought I get it. I just went on because it was fun. And then next thing you know, they asked me to take the job. And I wonder what the hell was wrong with him.

You're a modest man, but every day I watch it, and I see glad. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's amazing. Wake Up Happy is in Stores, Book Stores Right Now. Michael Strayhan, everybody. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself coming out every Thursday. So exciting.

You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.

And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.