The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Kal Penn Discusses The Pope Potentially Ending Celibacy Requirements | Chasten Buttigieg

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

Kal Penn discusses the news of the day including a seaweed blob approaching the Florida coast, the Pope's potential about-face on celibacy requirements for priests, and the Nebraska lawmaker who filibustered for three weeks to squash anti-trans bills. Chasten Buttigieg discusses the reason he created a young adult version of his bestselling memoir.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to the Daily Show. I'm Calipen and I have had so much fun. I wish I could stay forever. Woombent. I've had so much fun. I wish I could stay forever. Honestly, like now I understand why Trump refused to leave the White House. What do you think? Should we do an insurrection?

Should we just stay forever? Oh, I... I was joking. You guys are messed up. I love it. Okay, we got a great show for you tonight. Chastin Buddha's here everyone. We have a lot to talk about so let's get into the headlines. Let's begin with some breaking news from the Vatican. No, not about you. You're still going to hell. But there is some good news for priests. Pope Francis says the Catholic Church's thousand-year-old practice of celibacy for priests could be changed. He tell- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their their to to to their to to to to to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the Catholic Church's thousand-year-old practice of celibacy for priests could be changed. He tells in Argentine

publication the ban on priests having sex was only temporary and that there is no contradiction for a priest to marry. That's right. Yeah? Pope Francis just stepped out on his balcony and said, I'm proud to announce the end of our no not millennium. We did it! Oh gosh, and then a cloud of white just shot out of the Vatican chimney. Anyway, this is wild, okay, the Pope suddenly decided that a thousand year old ban on sex was just temporary the whole time? Does anyone else feel like the Pope just found out Jazeel was single?

She dumped Tom Brady? Look, everybody, I just found a new page in the Bible. Yes, so the two pages in Leviticus, they were stuck together this whole time. Oh my gosh. Look, I gotta say, I gotta say, I think priests are gonna clean up on dating apps. You ever heard a missionary? I invented that. Now, this could really be a game changer.

I mean, think about it. Now the priests can knock someone up. It means that they might change their mind on abortion. You're pregnant? Oh look at this, two more pages stuck together, my goodness. Oh, thank you. Okay, look, moving on. We've got some inspiring news out of Nebraska. Yeah, how often do we get to say that? Like in a lot of places, Republicans are pushing an anti-trans bill through the state legislature.

But this time, an incredible state senator is speaking out. And speaking and speaking and speaking. A Democratic lawmaker taking a stand against what she says is a tax on fundamental human rights. This is out of Nebraska where Republican bill is trying to ban what they call gender affirming care to people who are under 19 years old.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. But, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and thi, and thi, and thr-a, and thra. thrauuuuuuuauauauauauauauaua. thi. But, thi, thrying to ban what they call gender-affirming care to people who are under 19 years old. Now, this Democratic State Senator is halting all business in the chamber and filibustering or vowing a kind of obstruction set of tactics that work in Nebraska for the last three weeks, saying she'll burn the session to the ground over this bill. During her filibuster, she has discussed everything from her favorite Girl Scout cookies to the plot of the movie Madagascar. If this legislature collectively decides that legislating hate

against children is our priority, then I am going to make it painful, painful for everyone. Hell yeah! All right. Look, at a time when so many of us are all talk, she's actually... Okay, well, she's all talked too, but in a useful way. And I'm sure it's hard for Senator Kavanaugh to come up with stuff to say for three weeks straight, but it means a lot to so many families that someone is fighting for them. And it also means a lot to DreamWorks that someone is still talking about Madagascar. It's like it's not their best movie, honestly. Anyway, just today, Kavanaugh finally got Republicans to agree to an actual debate on this bill, which they were trying to avoid. This is great if you're into

civility. I personally would have just gone nuclear and just been like, kill this bill now or I spoil the end of the last of us! And finally, spring break is coming up. If you were thinking of going to Florida to lie on the beach and not be surrounded by 5,000 miles of seaweed, well... Florida is bracing for a 5,000 mile wide seaweed bloom almost twice as wide as the entire United States. Enormous mounds of brown mucky macroalgae are now floating towards Florida. The popular shores of South Beach are only speckled with this kind of seaweed called

Sargasm so far. But in several weeks, that's likely to change. With sightings already this month in Key West, Antigua, and the crowded Mexican resort of Pliadel-Carman, preparing for up to three feet of buildup. The biggest issue with the seaweed, a serious rotten egg smell, not ideal for tourism. Holy shit, that's a lot of seaweed. It sounds like a plague God sends when he's mad but like not

that mad. Like I'm not hurricane angry. I'm just disappointed. And if I had to guess about what God's mad about, it's probably that Ron DeSantis eats pudding with three fingers. Look I'm not a Florida, but I'd rather let my kid watch a drag queen read Good Night Moon than watch a grown man in a suit finger a pudding cup. And the worst part, the worst part about all this seaweed is there's nothing Florida can do about it. But it is Florida so they'll probably just try to shoot it. For more on the seaweed story, we go live to Miami Beach with Roy Wood Jr. Everybody, Roy.

What's the situation over there, Roy? What's the situation over there, Roy? What's the situation? It's disgusting, Cal? What's going on? What is the situation over there, Roy? You see the situation. It's disgusting, Cal. Seaweed everywhere, man.

This beach looked like it's covered in hair. It looked like an Italian man's back out here. Diggle, eh, it's smell like a truck full of hard-boiled. They're just a smell like a truck full-o-fart, it's a dry far. Didn't a little juice come out? You can do a juice. I mean, yes. With them juice far. I know I get it, I get it. We've all been there. But, but, why are you cleaning up the beach? That's so kind of you. What? I'm not cleaning? Man. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, you, you, you, like, I'm not, you the, you the, you the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, you, you, you, you, like, you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, you th. th. think, like, you thin, like, you th. the. the. the. thin, you the. the. th. th.two or so there. Hey, get your ass back! Your ass back! I'm the oldest ocean vomit is mine! Wait, what, why are you taking home the seaweed? Why else? I'm gonna sell it to white folks.

What you think of it? White folks are not gonna buy rotting seaweed. No, but white people will buy it once I call it naturally sourced, organic, sargasmass. Oh my th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, why th, why th, why th, why th, why th, why th, why the th, why the the the the thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, than, than, than, ta'a'a'na'na'na'a'na'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, why god, you're right, white people will buy the shit out of that! No, I'm gonna be printing money. All I gotta do is stick all this shit in the classy ten, put a little white baby face on it, they'll be in whole foods next week. Oh, my working days are over, brother.

My grandkids gonna be so spoiled. I hate it, or do you eat it, or th or the the the what what's it used for like do you eat it or wrap yourself in it or? Man I don't care. You didn't eat it, smoke it, put it in your coffee, rub it on your balls, white people have figured out. Look, I just got to get all this done before Gwinneth Poultzo has the same idea. You know what? You know what that's true. that's true., yes. You know, Poultro. I know, you got a hurry though. She stole tumric from us. Yeah, you know, you know,

you know the problem, no, man. The problem, we're slowing down, my cleanup is all this trash. I gotta pick all this trash out of the sea. Why don't you just leave it in there? rich in bioactive upcycled exfoliants. Bitch, get your ass down here, Kat. We're going into business together. We're partying right after the show. Come on down here, man. Hey, you smart.

You smart. Oh, shit, Gwenfowtro here. I got to go, man. Back off, Pepper Potts. Get out of Pepper. I'm coming. to the tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the tho, the the the the the the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, the, the. the. the. the. the. theat, theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat thea. thea. theat, the., we'll find out what scares politicians the most. Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. You know, there's a lot that we don't know about the 2024 election, like who the candidates

will be or which campaign Vado or Rourke is going to lose. But as someone who headed up youth issues at the White House, I can tell you that if history's any indicator, we already know what one of the big talking points is going to be. Every election, it's like, oh, the young people are coming, young people are coming, and usually they don't come. They just don't show up. Are you hearing me, nieces? I was having this conversation tonight.

They don't say. Yeah, because you don't vote. They never ever vote. Why would people cater to you if you never come out? Sorry, not to be annoying, but we're with NBC News and I'm just trying to figure out anybody you're going to vote. An election on November 6th? Anybody? Nobody's going to vote? What can get younger voters to actually turn out to vote. You know, turn out for what? You got your own theme song, Maddie.

Turn down for what? Yeah. Well, young people aren't going to be voting now. The point is the media loves to whine about young people not voting. But what gets much less attention is that the establishment feels so threatened by the power of young voters that they actually try to get them to not vote. To many in the establishment, low youth turnout is not a problem. It's a goal.

And that's what I want to suppress the youth vote. What are some things they might try to do? Their best bet is to put restrictions on college students because for the most part they're all young except for that one guy who used to sit in the back year sociology lecture, what was his deal? Was that like an inspiring thing or like a 21 Jump Street situation? Anyway, one thing that they try to do is to target student IDs. In some states, you can't use a school ID to vote,

even though for a lot of students, it's the only thing showing that they live in the state. And don't tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell me tell me tel thel thel thel thel thel thel thel the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi the the thin s an the the the the the the the the the the the an the an the an the an the an the an the. the. the. the. the. the an thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. Okay, college students pay local taxes for four years, and the dumb ones up to six. One of those states is Texas, where you can't use your student ID to vote, but you can use your gun permit, which sure feels like a law made by Republicans to make it easier for other Republicans to vote. It's basically like a liberal state letting you vote if you still wear your COVID mask.

Another thing they try to do is move voting booths off campuses. Now, this is a big deal for college students, since they're less likely to have a car. If they do know someone with a car, it's usually that like kind of hot, but sort of sketch dude with a th that like reeks of weed and all the seat belts are missing and it's just like, is voting for state assembly really worth getting car herpes? When it comes to trying to make polling places inaccessible, the state, the state of

Texas is also at the forefront. Texas Republicans are pushing a bill that would ban voting booths from every campus across the state. Voting rights advocates are slamming a Texas lawmaker's plan to remove polling places from college campuses. A young voter has favored Democrats by nearly a 30-point margin in the midterms, but the Republican who's behind this proposal tells ABC 13's Brianna Connor, it is not about that. Republican State Representative Kerry Isaac says it's a matter of school safety.

I don't believe it's wise that we invite people onto our campuses that would not otherwise be there. Texas Southern University freshman Jordan Jones points out that public universities like TSU already have open campuses. Our library that's literally right there is also public. Anybody can go in there and use it so I feel like there shouldn't be much of a difference whenever it comes to voting. She has a good point. The library's already open to the public. Although knowing Texas Republicans that other lady's just going to be like, this student is right. We should also

ban libraries. thrown libraries. I realize that so far I've given you Republican examples. But to be fair, that doesn't mean all voter suppression is committed by Republicans, just like 98% of it. But there are Democrats who do engage in voter suppression, and I know this from personal experience. During the Democratic primary in 2007, I lobbied a local election board in voter suppression. And I know this from personal experience. During the Democratic primary in 2007, I lobbied a local election board in North Carolina that wanted to remove voting machines from a campus where there were a lot of Obama Democrats.

And send those machines to a wealthy suburb where there were a lot of non-Obama Democrats. Although that's obviously not how they put it. They were just like, OK, we're doing this because college students are just less likely to vote than people in the suburbs. And then I was like, oh well maybe college students don't vote because you keep taking their voting machines away. And then I lost. And then I lost.

Sorry. Well, those are some of the I lost. Sorry. Well, those are some of the more common obstacles that you might encounter as a young voter, it can get a lot more creative. Welcome to North Carolina, A&T. It's the largest historically black college in the country, and a big Democratic voting block. But when you look at a congressional map, A&T looks like two separate colleges. It's split between District 6 and District 13.

So if you move from this dorm over to that dorm, you're in a different district, with different representatives, and a different polling place. By splitting the campus into two separate congressional districts, it diluted the power of ANT's collective voice. So what was once one congressional district with an African-American representative, it is now two congressional districts

with two white Republican legislators. Have you seen people discouraged from voting because of this? Not only do you get discouragement, there's also not wanting to register at all. It validates, and affirms what young folks are saying when they say that their votes don't count. Yeah, that's a bummer. And honestly, I haven't seen college students that disappointed since they saw me in Van Wilder

too. In my defense, in my defense, that movie paid very well. But look, this is the point of it. All of this is meant to freeze you out of the process and discourage you from participating. And I get it. It's easy as a young person to get demoralized and super high. I'm not sure why I mentioned that. Sorry, to be more clear, things are not hopeless.

You know that gerrymandering at ANT? Well, it sparked a student revolt. And after a court order reunified the school, students there are now voting in record numbers. Yeah, pretty great. And it's not just them. It's not just them. Despite all of those barriers, young voters have shown up big in recent elections.

In fact, last year, they may have made all the difference. The Gen Zers, millennials, they're voting the voting they are voting the voting they are voting th, the voting, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi voters, thi voters, thi voters, thi voters, the, the, the, tho, thi, thi, the, tho, tho, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, their their their their their their, their, their, their fact, last year, they may have made all the difference. The Gen Zers, millennials, they're now voting in record numbers. Gen Z voters, people born in 1997 and later, are lapping their older millennial counterparts. I know a lot of people talking about being engaged, but not being engaged. We are seeing engagement. The energy from these young folks is real. They all but canceled out the votes of their grandparents, of senior citizens, who are some of the most reliable voters out there, and also some of the most Republican voters out there. If not for young people, we have a starkly different result.

We saw not a red wave. We didn't see a blue wave, but we certainly saw a young voter a Gen Z wave. A Gen Z wave! Come on! Not a red wave, not a blue wave, not a millennial pink wave. So remember when I said the establishment feels threatened by you? Well that's because when you vote, you often get a lot of the things to happen. Marriage equality, climate action, and yes, we decriminalization. It's young people who overwhelmingly pushed to get this stuff done. So keep it up. Don't let

them make you feel complacent. Because long story short, you're powerful. And that's why they're scared of you. So go make them scared. All right? When we come back, Chastin Budegge will be joining me. Stay tuned. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is an author, teacher, and advocate. His latest book is based on his New York Times best-selling memoir, it's called I Have Something to Tell You for Young Adults but this is sort of just newsy because of the the week that this has been at the gridiron dinner in Washington, D.C. that's a dinner where politicians are known to make humorous speeches. the vice president, they try, they try, yes. Vice President Mike Pence made a joke about your husband taking paternity leave

and he referred to it as maternity leave. And when I saw that, my biggest reaction was, really? You're just gonna recycle a 1998 joke that's been around forever. But what was your reaction? I mean, I think joke is being generous there. Yeah. Especially at the Daily Show. Yeah, yeah, of course. You know, it's a sad trend of people on the other side, you know, using homophobia, misogyny

to try to make a point. I mean, he's trying to launch a presidential campaign. And, you know, from my experience in presidential politics, it's about who you you you you you What you inspire people to believe, believe in a better version of America, especially in those early days. So I guess that's how he wants to start his campaign, which I don't think is surprising to any of us. Okay, so in that case he's using us to be relevant and we're going to move on. Exactly. I'm just not give him that time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's how that's how that's how that's how that's how that's that's that's that's how that's that's that's th. I. I. I York Times bestseller, which I assume is just

going to get banned as soon as it comes out. So congratulations. It was probably sent it to Mike Pence. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But why did you, why did you write a young adult version? You know, I'm very proud of this one. It's the book that I wish I would have had when I was in eighth grade. I grew up in conservative, the rural, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.e.e. th.e. th. th. It. I. It's, th. It know, I grew up in conservative rural northern Michigan where I did not know any out people. I thought that I had a sort of disease. I thought something was wrong with me and this book is an

opportunity to tell young people that there is nothing wrong with you. There are millions of people out here who love you, who will support you. You know, and that's the best part about projects like this to be a, the the, and th, good with that platform. So we're going to take this book on tour and we're going to go to some of these red places like Texas, Florida, Utah, Missouri, and you know we're going to have those conversations with kids about how there's there's nothing wrong with who you are and there are a lot of people out here backing you up. That's awesome. That's very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very. You are not jaded from what I gather if you're saying things like that and you're actually going to those places.

How long have you guys lived in D.C. now? Two years, I guess. Okay, so what was the expectation of D.C. versus the reality of D.C. Well, I mean, it is a tremendous opportunity for our family to have that chance to be part of something big. I certainly thought that people were elected into office to go and make change in this country. And then I got there and realized that there are incredible people who are focused on

improving people's lives. And there are also people who use Washington just to audition to be on Tucker Carlson, you know, or DC has kind of become this content form for some people where they go into hearings and they say something lambastic or offensive because they know it'll get people outraged. And then they can't thrown their to put it on their podcast. And so that experience of Washington, you know, the district is beautiful.

People are great. I try to keep as much of a distance as I can from it, focus on my family, focus on the good and allow the other stuff to fall off the shoulder. Okay, you mentioned Tucker Carlson, he's like kind of obsessed with you. Did I? I try not to. Well, my question is like, how do you deal with, I remember there was something he did like, is Pete Budajidge gay? And I'm like, how you, how, how, how, how, how, how, how you, how you, how you, how th, how th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, t, try, try, ty, ty, ty, ty. is, ty.i, ty. I try, ty, ty, ty, try, took, took, took, took, like, why are they so obsessed with you? I think they just, you know, it's easier to focus on really weird shit, you know? And that gets people fired up and it gets people talking about you online and people make a lot of money. People make a lot of money about, by you being mad.

And so like, I wish this guy would like, send us some diaper money or something, the amount of money that he's raising off our the money.......... And, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. money that he's raising off our family. Yeah, exactly he's making money off to you. But then you, you know, you see people like the state senator in Nebraska who uses her platform to do good things. You see the Elliott Larson Civil Rights Act passed in Michigan today, extending civil right protection to people at Michigan. So that's the stuff we stay focused on, you know, and let's the thap stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff, the the stuff, television talk about the things they want. All right so as we wrap up how do you stay that hopeful how do you like how do you go from people idiots like me asking about Tucker Carlson and then you're like here's the things that I actually find hopeful how do you do that?

Well I mean my draft folder is long but I try. At the end of the day, you've got two screaming twins who just want their dinner and they want their bath time. And that grounds me because that's the good work. You know, you're raising the next generation. You're focused on the good. You're focused on the opportunity to make this a better country, and you let the weird people on television talk about whatever thi because they they they tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the because because tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho than ourselves. Well, Chastin Buddegic, everyone. Thank you so much for being here. You are incredible.

I have something to tell you for adults is available for pre-order. Thanks, ma'am. All right, we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. Thank you. Thank you. We're gonna be today.

Well, that's our show the show and that's my time as guest ghost. But stay tuned for next week when your host will be Al Franken. And if you want more of me, you can pick up a copy of my book or audio book. It's called You Can't Be Serious wherever Books and Audio Books are sold. Explore more shows from the Daily Show from the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.