The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Lasagna vs. Spaghetti - Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: September 30, 2022

“Because I’ve never really been a pasta person, lasagna’s really the only thing I’ve liked because it’s very difficult to make” - Dulcé Sloan “The simple fact that you’re half a measurement away from making bad lasagna at all times is why spaghetti is superior.” - Josh Johnson It’s lasagna vs. spaghetti, two Italian culinary heavyweights, this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan and Josh Johnson is a new podcast from The Daily Show. Check out more episodes of Hold Up wherever you get your podcasts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Now, you're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, it's Roywood Jr. We've got a little something different for you today. Now, you remember before the pandemic, you could stand around a water cooler and talk to your coworkers? We used to call it water cooler conversations, even though there was never really a water cooler there. Anyway, two of my good friends, Daily Show correspondent, Dose Sloan, and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson,

are known around the building for their water cooler conversations. And they turned it into a podcast. This is your chance to hear these two people go back and forth, the way we get to hear it all the time in................... to to to to the to the to. to. the to to to the the to. the. to the to the to the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, their, their their, their their, their. their. their. their. their. their. to to their......... the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the today, the today, tooe. tooe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the today the to. The podcast is called Hold Up. Have a listen. Hello friends, welcome to Hold Up. It's me, Tulsa, Sloan. Introducing again because Josh looks sleepy. Thank you all for joining the show again. Josh, what you do? Where you at? Hi, I'm Josh Johnson, and I'm also co-host of... Yeah, so Josh is a co-host. Listen, if you listen to this show, you know that usually Josh does the intros. But again, like I said, I'm being a crumbum, I need to do some, I also need to participate, you know?

I'm sure people like, well, how come Dulce they never does the intros? You're right, how come I never do the intros? Probably because Josh is better that. Because he has a plan. I just start speaking. And I look forward to see what happens. Yeah, yeah, we all look forward to it when you start. And we're like, what's next? Rude. The subject of today's show. I don't know if you all are ready.

Is lasagna versus spaghetti. Now, like the chocolate versus vanilla episode, I'm gonna give you a, do, to, the, to, to, yeah........ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to, yeah, yeah, to, yeah, to, to, yeah, to, yeah, yeah, to, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the Now, like the chocolate versus vanilla episode, I'm going to give you a do-do moment. For one, you decide in your heart where you fall on the lines of lasagna versus spaghetti. All right? So let me give you that moment. Josh, where do you stand on this? I'm spaghetti all day? All right? I'm spaghetti all the way around until they turn to spaghettios.

All right? Oh, no. I'm spaghetti non-stop. Joshua, tell us why you chose. Mm-hmm. A spaghetti. Okay, so first of all, spaghetti isn't just the basil and marinaire that people imagine. There is pasta limone.

There's so many different ways to use spaghetti, there's so many different topings you can have on spaghetti. Pasta limone is pasta with lemon juice and butter probably? It's a butter, lemon and a little bit of cheese. Is there any pepper? There's pepper. There better be gone. Like it's up to me, like it's my recipe. Hey man, I'm just saying. Anyway, I'm very sorry to digress for a second, but I heard, I went into a restaurant and it smelled of mayonnaise to the point where I was like, I was just a regular like all-american. And it smelled, like, the point where I was like,

no, I was just a regular like All-American restaurant, but when I walked in I could smell the mayonnaise and I was like, I'm ordering a cut of fish, and I am leaving, because I don't want anything else from this place that could possibly have some sort of Mayo base they didn't tell me about. I hear you. Although I am someone who likes Mayo. I know that there are lots of ways in which you are wrong. But I don't.

You're a great person. I admire you as a human being, but you have your flaws and that's one of them. I also don't like ketchup. This is all for another day. Listen we already learned the tomato episode on the tomato soup versus chicken soup that I don't like ketchup. We already know this. No I know I know I'm just saying right now we can only disagree at one thing per episode at a time. All right sustained, sustained. And I'll just I'll round out the spaghetti thing by saying that it is incredibly thi tho, we we we we we we we we we we we we we we that we that we that it is that it is th, we th, we th, we th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi the the the the th. th. the thi thi the th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Listen. th. Listen. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the the thea thea thea thi thea thea thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi episode at a time. Sustained, sustained. And I'll just, I'll round out the spaghetti thing by saying that it is incredibly, incredibly versatile

and in the types of dishes that you can have on it. In the types, okay, okay, okay, I want to interrupt. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. There's something to be said. Now, this is a thin line either way before before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before, the the the the the th, the the th, they, they, they, the spaghetti the spaghetti they, the spaghetti the spaghetti thi, thi, thi, the spaghetti the spaghetti the spaghetti the spaghetti the spaghetti the spaghetti the spaghetti they, the spaghetti, the spaghetti, the spaghetti, the spaghetti, the spaghetti, the spaghetti, they, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi. Also, there's something to be said. Now, this is a thin line. It's a thin line either way before you're a crazy person. But if someone is cooking and they really know how to cook and they can give you the firmness of noodle that you desire, that's another thing that just levels up spaghetti to me, you know. So if someone can give it to you to the the au dente that you like like like. I I I I I I I I I I I I I the. I the. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thin thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. T. the. T. T. the. T. T. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. th? So someone can give it to you to the au dente that you like? I think that that, I think the fact that that range is there, it's precarious, but it's also

an extra thing that just lets you level up your meal, you know? Maybe you like a slightly, slightly, slightly firm noodle. All right? We're not talking about a rare spaghetti? No, no, I'm not talking about rare spaghetti. And how dare you even imply that I would eat rare spaghetti? Sometimes I think that you think I'm a monster, because what kind of person wants their spaghetti rare, all right, or hard? Or I'm talking about a slightly firmer noodle, it's like what you get ramen. Because ramen's too firm for me

sometimes, like I have to let it sit. Yeah, yeah, you have to let soak a little bit, yeah, a little get a little softer, little chew-air. So you like your so medium rare. I don't want any rare, I don't want any rareness. I'm just saying there are people out there who like a Rareness in a sense to their noodle. It's still a bendy noodle. It's not like the thing's gonna snap. If any person is eating noodles that snap, you're not eating noodles. You're eating garbage. You didn't know somebody who would eat dry spaghetti noodles? Not that I would talk to. Listen you don't know that person's in your life until you see it. But I also know that like you can you like what was that? No no no no no no no no no no no we're not just gonna move on. The way the okay so for people who are only listening to the podcast, you didn't see

the face of that song, Dulce said, so she takes a sip, first of all, and then you took a pause that didn't seem to be from me. You took a pause where you were just looking in general. You were just like looking down. It's when you it's it's like when someone eats like you ever met somebody who will eat like raw ramen. Like the break like you ever seen a human being do this like they'll take a pack of ramen. I know exactly what you're talking about and right now this moment in time he's in jail. As he should be. As he should be. Anybody I've ever met that really did that or your white folks, they have a recipe for like, it's like a Chinese chicken salad. You know,

it's got your celery, it's got your cabbage, it's got your carrots, it's got your, you know, your breast meat chicken. And then there's almonds, like slivered almonds, and for some reason, crushed up ramen, and then like a sauce. And I'm like, wait, why is there uncooked? I would have been more on board with cooked ramen. Mm-hmm. Then uncooked ramen as a topic. Yeah, I mean-

He was something crunchy in your salad. No, no. When it comes to a spaghetti, no, one, I do have to preface this by saying, I'm not really a pasta person. Okay. All right. All right. I'm, all right. I'm, all. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I, I, I'm. I'm. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. that. to, I'm. to, I'm. to, I'm to, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to preface this by saying I'm not really a pasta person. Okay. All right. I'm also not really a bread person.

I'm also not really a beer person. Because this is just the Holy Trinity of wheat. Don't look at me like that. Okay. This is just the Holy Trinity of wheat. Don't look at me like this. Okay. Listen, because there's bread? Yeah, yeah. Pasta is wet bread.

Beer is bread you can drink. I really don't need the conspiracy. I'm just here. No, no, no, no, no. Look at how they make pasta. Trying to understand. Look what they use to make beer. Look what they used.

Ha. Lazzania over spaghetti. I chose lasagna. Because one is one of Garfield's favorite foods. Two. This, I, I, I, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Go ahead. That was not the real reason,

but lasagna's Garfield favorite food. I think for me, like, you know why I cook, like I've cooked, when you came over for Christmas, you saw the whole thing that I put together. Lasagna has always seemed like a very hard thing to thing thing thing thing thing thing to make to make to make to make to make to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to like a very hard thing to make to me. Mm-hmm. No, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. Because one thing I want to talk about in the episode later is how both of these things can go awry, because I factored it into my decision. That's what I also factored into my decision. We can talk about it now. Because lasagna is so much harder to make. Also, they've been doing this new stunt with lasagna,

because like, you know, I do the Daniel Fast every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Google it, I'm not explaining it. I do the Daniel fast every year. It's the Old Testament fast, because you know your girl's safe, sake, the firefail with the holy ghost, and so I remember, I'm like, I'm gonna make the the to make the to make the to make to make the to make to make the to make to make the to make to make the to make the to make the the to make the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thianianianneau, I'm gonna thianneau, I'm thian, I'm thian, I'm the the the thian, I'm thian, I'm thian, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananang... ta, I'm ta, I'm ta lasagna. Okay. Right. I went and got the fucking cashew milk ricotta. Okay.

I got the little fake meat crumblies. And what they had, I wouldn't bought these. Listen, did it came out the way I wanted to? Absolutely the fuck not. For some reason with lasagna now, they've come out with non-boiled noodles. So Lego pieces. Yes! So they're like, oh, you don't need to boil them,

you don't need to boil them. And I was like, who is this lazy motherfucker that started asking for this option? Because they're like, oh, the sauce it'll cook. What happens is, the pasta, while it's in the oven, sucks all of the moisture out of the tomato sauce. Yeah. To the point that for the pasta to be cooked, their tomato sauce is now a tomato paste. So, yeah.

So when you're not going that route, right. So when you get a nice, you ever had a Stofer's lasagna? I've had a lot of different types of lasagna. No, no, that's what I asked you. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that. I that. I that. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I that. I that. I that. I that. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked. I asked that's. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you. I asked you did you have that big 10 pound fucking Stofer's lasagna. Yeah, yeah. I remember my mom she would get the meat and the veggie one, because the veggie one had a white sauce, and that was a fucking thing. They started getting it when I was like maybe like in high school, or like middle school in a high school. And it was a fuck now, listen, you had to put it in the oven and then what my mom would do is like,, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. thi, thi. Like, the. the. the. the. now listen you had to put it in the oven

And then what my mom would do is like when it was like halfway So when it wasn't always like done when it wasn't all the way done done So you could tell it just I'd finally just defrosted because it's the most frozen thing. Yeah She'd come through she doctored that bitch up. She put more meat in it. She put more cheese in that bitch? Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She'd th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the the th. th. the the th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. the. th more meat in like, especially the meat one. She put more meat in it. She put more cheese in that bitch. And she'd be like, okay, now it's ready. You know, so like, because I was, because I've never really been a pasta person person. Mm-hmm.

Lasagna is really the only thing that I've liked because it's very difficult to make. Like in the grand scheme of things thininininininininininininininininininininin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, things, it shouldn't be as difficult as we think it is, because it's like, it's just layers of stuff. Yeah, but no, but there's a delicate balance. Yeah. The possibility of fucking lasagna up. Yeah. It's so much bigger than fucking up spaghetti. Because like spaghetti is one of the first things you learn how to cook.

It's like hot dogs, thog eggs, hot thog eggs, hot thog dogs thog dogs thog dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs, eggs, spaghetti. Yeah. Now I guess my thing is, because don't get me wrong, in my lifetime, I have been tried, titillated, and tempted by the harlot that is lasagna. This niggins said. All right, I'm not above, I'm not above falling for the temptations of a lasagna. Wow. But, not a harlan. But let me tell you right now,

because this is where we get a little apples to oranges, okay? Because a lot of the lasagna that you love is just repackaged bowls of spaghetti. Because when you look at, when you look at a pasta noodle of lasagna uncooked. It's just a sheet of spaghetti. Because when you look at, when you look at, a pasta noodle of lasagna uncooked, it's just a sheet of spagheties lined up against each other. It's just a long rectangle of spagheties that haven't become spagheties yet. If I chopped up that little, that little square, that little rectangle, and boiled it, what would I have? Spaghetti. But see, I think that is just an indictment of pasta as a whole.

Like everything, like pasta is spaghetti is linguine, is fettuccini, is whatever the fucking eenies and I, what all of these names are, it's spaghetti with a different cutter. I just think that the only reason that I brought it up was because I think it's important that we get a whole, a whole rounded conversation around the fact that you say you're not a pasta person, but the thing that you chose is a pasta in a different form. You know what I mean? It's, no, no, when I eat pasta, that's what I go for usually. Like if I want to want pasta, like I just had lasagna yesterday, I like, at the stand, like the green lasagna is very good. So when I want pasta, it's like also I feel

like that I just had like my mom makes really good spaghetti. Yeah we've all had bad spaghetti. Mm-hmm. But I feel like I've had enough spaghetti in my life. I'm just like I get it. I get it. So you just get all of it. Like even even the spaghetti, the handmade spaghetti, even the stomach, you go roll your eyes and me like there are levels to the spaghetti gag. Listen, I can tell you as a child, so the levels, as a child, any of that's just let you know, any that chef boy R. D. shit in a can, yeah. Me, my brother and I refuse to eat. And I'm talking about it like one, two, three years old. Yeah, okay. Not having it.

Sure. So already at two, I might be eating sand, but I won't eat spaghetti. Okay. Right. Like my brother ate rat poe. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to, to th. th. th. th. tho. tho. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toea. to. to. to. tha. saying? Yep, yep. You know, I'm loud and clear. Right, now, are you, did you enjoy the gastronomic attack? That was Chef Boyardi? I from time to time dabbled in the culinary stylings of a Chef Boyardi? which is apparently how he says it. I had no idea. I mean the man.

I apologize for it. There was a commercial where he was like, chef boyardy, and people stopped. And they were like, wait, is that? So did the actor make a mistake, or if we just all been saying it wrong the entire time? Well, it's like when the guy Fiatty was on an episode of Great North and my character Honeybee was like talking about this book that he because like he comes to her on like a vision right? Yeah and so I

was just saying Fieri because that's how I usually hear it but I had to go back and re-record because his last name was pronounced Fiatty. Is that Fieri? That yeah, yeah, you know what? And so I was like, and I respected it because I correct people on how to pronounce my name. Yeah. All the time.

Mm-hmm. Oh, you're saying your name wrong. I'm like, no, it is Dulce. It is Italian, not Spanish, not Italian. They go, oh, bro, when Dulce de lecce stuce stuff started coming out, I was like the ice cream, they're like, oh, with a you, yes, bitch, with a you. So yeah, I understand it's like in a culinary road,

things get pronounced differently. But I can say, I do have moments when I want pasta. So if I, so like sometimes I'll order pasta. If I don't want the itis-inducing meal, that is lasagna, because you're down for the count. If you eat a lasagna, you're not doing nothing else for the rest of the day. Lazani is sit down, you know, with spaghetti, it's sometimes I'm like, okay, because like

especially ordering food in New York, like if I'm going to order a $20, $25 dish of pasta, I can't bring myself to pay 20 something bucks for spaghetti. For the same way that I can't order a casadilla in a restaurant. Because I'm not giving you $20 for a caesadia. Like I can't order a casadilla in a restaurant. Because I'm not giving you 20 bucks for a casadia. Like I can't do it. So like, I don't even get, I don't care if it's a linguine, if it's a fettuccine, rigatoni, whatever the funnis and, you know, a lot of modepias, whatever. Spaghetti is that thing you just very much learned at a very early age how to make.

I've recently found out on Tick-Tock that we weren't supposed to be breaking the noodles in half. Apparently what you're supposed to do is just let them be long and then the hot water would just make it come down into the pot. So apparently we're not supposed to be like, yeah. So then what about the, won't that make one side of the noodles extra soft while the other side is a little bit firmer? I think the same thing, but I think I guess it happens so quickly that the pasta gets soft enough to get, I completely thought the same thing, that the side in the water is going

to be more cooked in the side that's hanging out the side of the pot. Yeah, I thought the same same same same same same same same same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi tho thi tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th be more cooked in the side that's hanging out the side of the pot. Yeah, I thought the same thing. Yeah, because, because, all right. I also always thought if none of us have a pot this big, why isn't spaghetti half as long? Yeah, because in my mind, the breaking it in half, didn't you break it in half when you put it in the box? Of course. But like when people cook so, like if you're at home make it, because you know, people love fettuccini, Alfredo and when I say people, you know what I'm talking about.

Humans. A lot of them look like us. But when people make fetishenie out at the noodles in half? I don't think so, no. So you think people, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th is, th is, th is, th is just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's thi, it's thi, it's just, it's just thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, think people, so you think it's just with spaghetti? But those fall quicker. The feta cheese? I think that, well, you know, Angel hair spaghetti. Angel hair is even thinner, so then that one falls immediately. I'll throw it out there as another pro. The spaghetti overall is diverse enough that if there's not one you like, there might be pro. The spaghetti overall is diverse enough

that if there's not one you like, there might be another one you like. So some people like whole wheat. Some people like the regular just store brand straight like product of Italy spaghetti. They make whole wheat lasagna. They have no angel hair lasagna. There's no extra thin lasagna out here.

Lazan comes at certain consistency, then you gotta bake it from there. So you're saying that lasagna, so you're seeing that lasagna only has one thickness, only has one speed. That I've seen. Yeah, I can't say. But I'm not seeing some wild, thick or wild thin lasagna. I can say, the thickness of a lasagnaia. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thin, I thin, I there's there's there's there's thin, I there's, I there's, I there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's thick, I thin, I there's there's thin, I there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin.. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. the. thin. the. thin. the. the. thin. there's the, there's the, thick, or wild thin lasagna.

I can say the thickness of a lasagna, I think it's a certain consistent. I've been in restaurants and I'm like, oh, this is not as thick as, uh, as the ones I've had, as like, the ones in the store seem to be thicker than the ones in a restaurant. But, because I think, I think, when the lasagnaazazazazazazazaz- is is is is pasta is pasta is pasta is like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the pasta is the pasta is the pasta is thick, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thick, thick, like, like, like, like, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, like, like, like, thick, like, like, thick, thick, like, like, thick, like, thick, like, thick, thi, the, think one of the zoni is like it for pasta is just diverse as a thing. So you can always change the different tops, but like have you ever had baked spaghetti? Bake spaghetti? Like in a cast, like, I believe I have. I remember the first time I had, I was like, what is this for? I didn't enjoy it. Maybe I thought the same thing. Because I'm like this is supposed to be moving. It's spaghetti. Yeah, because I remember when I saw it listed,

I was at someone's birthday, I believe, and there was a prefix menu for everyone there, and I think that baked spaghetti was one of the things, and in my head I was like, ah, why? Why? Like I guess they just like, they they just just just just just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're why? Like, I guess they just liked it, but. Well, I also feel like if you're doing baked spaghetti, I feel like you don't have the skills to make lasagna. This is what I got. Put in a pan. When people talk about like Italian cooking or like French cooking, I'm always just like,

I'm not fucking impressed. I'm not. Because like, this is the other thing. I'm just not, okay? I fuck a lasagna because I fuck a lasagna. For the most part, I don't fuck a pasta, really, right? So, think about this. Think about this.

Okay. As Americans, the thing about Italian cooking that we're the most aware of is pasta, right? Yeah. Now you know, Marco Polo, 1300s, goes to China, brings back the concept of the noodle. Mm-hmm. So if it weren't for them Chinese, what we'll be talking about from Italy, right? And I believe also the tomato was a New World dish, with a New World vegetable, right? New World plant. So I think before... Columbus, monkey-ass hopped in three bode. Was a new world dish with a new world vegetable right new world plant

So I think before Columbus monkey ass hopped in three boats and came over here bothering people I don't think they had tomatoes. Okay. So the question is if two white men had not got inventorous What the hell will we be eating from Italy? That's all I want to know? Think about it. They still had olives? They still got olives. They still got olives? They still got olives? They still got? the? the? the? the the they? they? they the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th? I? I? I? I? I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. thoom? thoom? thoom? thoomk th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their? their? the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. thooooooom. th. th. from Italy? That's all I want to know. Think about it. They still had olives. They still got olives. We know that. We know that.

They're known for the olive, okay? They're out here doing lots with the olive and facacia and chibata, whatever the eating is, eat is and I need is. All I'm saying is that I feel like that we have to start that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that we have that that we have that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that saying is that I feel like that we have to start going, European cooking styles can't be the penultimate cooking style. This can't be the thing we emulate. Yeah, if it was, they wouldn't have left. You left. The Chinese didn't colonize shit, but maybe Korea.

Yeah, I mean, I think that if you're, it's, yeah, it is a tough cell to say that we make the best foods of all time when you left in search for flavor. The folks that was really out here searching for flavor, were the British, because they had nothing, nothing, but the potato, the potato, the potato, the potato. Okay. And they had, they had the potato potato I think I did I had to leave that had bread that bread and me you were you were in the UK you tasted that food I did indeed but I had some weird vegetable what was it surlax simulax celiac something yeah yeah and it was like they'd like they're like they'd like oh it's like oh it's like oh it's like oh it's like oh it's like a indeed, but I had some weird vegetable, what was it, Surlax, Simulax, Celia, something. Yeah. And it was like, they was like, oh, it's like a parsnip and it was like, it tasks it tasks like, tasks, like, celery juice. That sounds horrible. Oh, it was, and it was

big, I was like, nigga, you are, uh, I don't have enough white ancestry to enjoy this. Come on, bro. So when you have your lasagna, yes, it's nice. I'm curious, do you have any bread crumbs at the top? Do you go for bread crumbs baked in with the cheese? If someone did it that way, then I'll have to take it. But I've never been a, I don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, then I will express and I'll have to take it. But I've never been a I don't know no I also don't but I don't like bread comes on top of mac and cheese either. So okay so okay I want a cheese top don't sprinkle

bread on the wet bread don't sprinkle dry dry bread on the wet bread and bake it. Okay all right. All right, because this is the thing. Proof me pasta is not wet bread. Look. All I am saying. Prove to me that pasta is not wet bread. All I am saying. Mm-mm. Don't you use that tone with me. All I'm saying is that I think that we're finding out a lot of ways that we like the meal prepare that are very different. So I'm trying to find some common ground so that we can, you know, pretty much agree that spaghetti's better than lasagna. I'm never, I'm, you know what, I'm tell- I'm t tell tell tell tell to tell tell to to tell tell to tell to to tell to to to tell to to to to to to to to to to to to to use you you to use you you you th you thi. you you you you that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to use, to use, to use, to use, to use, thi. to use, the. tooooooooooooooooooooooo toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. th. th. pretty much agree that spaghetti's better than lasagna. I'm trying to find out.

But you know what? I'm gonna tell you this. My homeboy David Purdue is an amazing comedian. You know David Purdue. Yeah, I know Dair Pardin. Or as me and Rob Hayes call him, the Reverend Dr. Brother David Purdue. Because he's very much a peacekeeper. So his grandpa, who passed away recently at the ripe age of 94, they think, they never found

his birth certificate, grandpa had certain things that he would and would not eat. A grandpa specifically said, just for an example, David's brother was on the phone with their grandpa and his grandpa was like, what's he doing? He's like, I'm making a smoothie. He's like, oh, it's got like yogurt and fruit and all the other stuff. And grandpa goes, mm-hmm, the granddad goes like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't just eat the fruit? And so now every time I make a smoothie, I'm just like, I just can't in the story when a smoothie was being made and his granddad said, What's that? But we all know that to learn what smoothies were? We all had to learn what smoothies were. I'm saying that imagine being like, you know, we're all blessed if we get to live to that age, where you live long enough that there

are things that are new to you that seem old to other people, but you're living your life in a way where it just passed you by. Like, it's like how a lot of people. Yeah, like I learned about smooth. Yeah, like I learned about smoothies. I was when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when. the smooth. the smooth. the smooth. the smooth. the smooth. the smooth. the smooth. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. S. thi. thinks. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. the. th. to pop up, we all went, the fuck is a smoothie? Yeah, but I think that there's gonna be stuff, just like now, you see more bidets in people's homes, but sometimes there are people who were like in their 20s before they found out what a bidet was. I was in my 20s before I used one.

So I'm saying, imagine us getting to an age one day where there's a thing that's like, no, this is, this is a, like it's infused in the culture. How did you miss this? But you're old enough where you're like, not only was I, not only was that not a thing when I was a kid, but I managed to like live most of my life without coming into contact with one. It was like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the, the, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. It was like when my niece asked me one day, she was like, because like my home girl wouldn't give her a phone, like get her a cell phone.

Mm-hmm. And then she had to be like 11 or 12 at the time and she was like, tea, what kind of phone? to you have a phone? And she's like, oh, you didn't have a phone. And she she, she, you me and her grandma sitting there and I was like, no, we didn't have, no one had a phone because there were no, she was like, what do you mean? I was like, my uncle had a car phone. And then no one else had a cell phone because there were no cell phone.

Like the fact that like I remember like I started, I was saying to somebody the other day I was like, remember when you wouldn't put your real name on the internet? Yeah, yeah. Like everyone's first email address. It was like hot Sphinx 40. Right. Unicorn Sphinx 99. No one's real name. And then just a few years later, it's like, here's my credit card, here's my social security. And we we just like, here's my fucking thumb print, and it's like, it flew out the fucking window.

But, Grandpa said, Granddad said that spaghetti is kid food. And when I heard it, I was like, yes. I couldn't have a bigger no. For the same way that cheese pizza is kid food. I think that what's happening here is that there are things that you have maybe early or first when you're a kid. It doesn't make them kid food. I was eating supreme pizzas when I was fucking nine years old. It might have been a little slice but when my mama ordered a pizza there was meat and vegetables on that bitch and we was gonna eat that okay we were putting Scotch bonnet hot

sauce on fucking square cut I love a square cut pizza on square cut supreme pizza slices so as a kid I didn't like Chase Pizza because I was like, where's the rest of the stuff? I've seen the commercial. Give me the shit. Also, in elementary school, they would give us cheese pizza or the pizza with the little square kind of bacon, kind of fucking pepperoni on it.

So when you say to me cheese pizza's food, you remember all the them elementary school, they gave you that fucking awful cheese pizza, and then the corn, because we've all run on for years, it's got the juice, right? So, that little boy is great. You know, he's now the ambassador for like the South, South Dakota, that's hilarious. That's hilarious. Look at God, th God. But yeah, it's kids. So like there's nothing with spaghetti. I'm like, this is kid food. I think it's maybe like the other

reason I don't eat it because I have a sophisticated palate. So. No. No. No. Not whatsoever. No. No. No gonna live to get away with it. What do you mean? You try to say how it happened. Liga come on. You come on. Let's let's let's bring it down right now. Tell me something that's in lasagna that's just never in a bowl of spaghetti.

Because you have meat, you don't think that they can put a little ricotta at the top of a bowl of spaghetti? When you had spaghetti growing up, what did it come with? Marinator sauce, meat, a meat sauce, which was either sauce out of a jar or a can, and then... Nope. Oh, y'all was the house making sauce from scratch? Fuck out of here. Do you, so you don't think, you don't think we can make sauce from scratch. I'm not saying you weren't. I'm not saying you can't, I'm saying you didn't.

You're telling me, you tell me the whole life I lived that I never from scratch. When you was at your mama's house, uh-huh. Y' all was cracking over ragu, prago, like everybody you was opening that tall can or pop in that jar and added it to that ground beef you cooked up. Depends. Okay. On what?

It depends on the day. If this is the day that I'm getting home or I need something quick, then yes. It's a jar of whatever that other one you mentioned was. But if it's the weekend and we got all day, let's put in work, okay? So you what, you get in a can of the crushed tomatoes? No, you can just crush your own tomatoes. Fine, so you bought some tomatoes, then put some salt and some oregano, some basil, and you made it hot. Congratulations.

So now, okay, but this is the thing, that, you can't move the goalposts like this, because first you were like, you would never, you did never. And now what I'm like, hey, what if we did, you're like, well, whoop-de-do. Like, yeah, it's still, that's what I'm saying, it's kid food, it's simple shit. It's not, it's not kid food. By that logic, lasagna is kid food. Absolutely not. There's so much work that goes until there's layering.

There's measurements. There's layering and measurement. When you measure it, in the amount of meat between the layers? What are you talking about? Because you have to make it even. You can't have one layer thicker than the other. Also, you don't want to fuck around and run out of meat. If you layer this shit up wrong, if you've got, because the thing is you've got ricotta, then you've got a shredded dry, it's gonna be too wet, you're gonna have too much meat or too much cheese on a left. We're out here for consistency, okay? We are building.

We are growing together, coming together as a community, okay? Don't you try to p-tie your lasagna argument on me, all right? The simple fact that you're half a measurement away from making bad lasagna at all times is why spaghetti superior. Almost all lasagna is just on a teetering, is walking on a tight rope in that oven. Of course, because just like anything that is made wet and has too dry out, think about the time that you've had dressing and somebody did not leave their dressing in the oven long enough or the bigger sin leaving your dressing in the oven

too long. So just for those that don't know that we're a bit confused in that moment by dressing, we do mean Thanksgiving dish, you know stuffing, some call it, but dressing, yes. Stuff it and dressing is not the same, but it it's not the same, but it puts the picture in the mind for the people who don't call it dressing. That's the Caucasian equivalent. Again, it's something, thank you, because again, like the Daniel Fas, I'm not explaining, it's the life I lived, there's a difficulty level to lasagna. It would just be funny if throughout the podcast I just kept stopping to be like, just so you know, so even when you feel like that's not the life I live,

that's not the guy I trust, like, oh, just so you know when she says the life she lives. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, just have a full commentary. I can tell you something that my mom used to make, that I actually was craving the other day, and I didn't make it because it got late and I was tired. Because I've been working all fucking day. I think she made this one day because she thought we had spaghetti and we didn't. Okay. Or was something that my grandma used to make for her when she was a kid. So you like cook up a pot of spaghetti, right?

Mm-hmm. And then you cook up some ground beef. And then you just take some butter and a bunch of pepper, maybe a little bit of milk. Okay. Throw this, make a little sauce out of that. It was like a whole sauce out of that. It's probably like a whole stick of butter because it was like a whole big old box of lasagna and a pound of ground beef.

And you put the spaghetti in that pot in that butter sauce? Little garlic powder, a little regular, you know, we got to season the house down boots. Season that up. Now what I mean by house down boots is a turn, look it up. And then just ground beef beef that that that that that that the the that the that th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I make th. I th. I make th. I make th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Make, th. Make, th. Make, th. Make, th. Make, th. Make, th. Make, thin. Make, th. Make, th. I'm thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm th. a term, look it up. And then just ground beef, butter and spaghetti that shit whenever my mama made that I was so happy. It's one of my favorite things. But it's like I said it's very simplistic, you know what I mean? It's not, you know my mother wasn't breaking out the fucking Julia Child's cookbook to make pasta, ground beef, with butter. Wasn't happening. But was I very happy to get it?

Yes! Okay. I almost made it one day. I might make it tonight. I probably won't. But what I'm talking about is, because I was like, thrown, I'm just a minute. Because it was a time I looked up, I was like, it's 11 o'clock. I'm not cooking pasta and ground beef at 11 o'clock at night.

The fuck? lasagna can go into a delicious bowl of spaghetti. Have you ever been to the meatball shop? Have you ever played over at the meatball shop where you see what they could do with a bowl of spaghetti? They can give you any meatball the type that you want. They can give you different types of pasta. The meatball. Thea's the thing with pasta though. Listen, pasta has always given me a kind of poor person vibe. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the the the the the the th. th. to, th. to, to, to, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. toea. toea. toea. the toea. the the the the the the the the the thing with pasta dough. Listen, pasta has always given me a kind of poor person vibe. It's the versatility of pasta is great.

But the versatility has always given me... What did Logan say? Pavoddy? Oh yeah, the provodity? Mm-hmm. So here's, I guess this is the thing. It's always, it's always given me, listen, we're gonna make it. Okay, all right, so.

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Because like, I, and the day that I realized it was like, I think I was watching Mattel Lane cook, Mattel's gonna murder me. But he was the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho me. But he was like, yeah, you're making this. He was, I think it was like the Kachua Pepe or some shit. And so it's like, yeah, you always reserve a cup of the pasta water to do this. And I was like, hmm. Hmm.

Reduce, reuse, reuse. the poverty. Okay, look. It just struck me as a the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a it's like you need the starch from the water to thicken the sauce. I also understand how cornstarch works because if you're making a gravy you either use cornstarch or flour to thicken it. I get it, right? Because when you think about it, marinaire sauce is kind of just gravy. Before you continue to say untenable things. What do you mean?

It's in the same family? The idea of red gravy I cannot stand for it right now. You've never had red eye gravy? No I have not. I think I've maybe only had it one time. I... Honestly, my favorite gravy's biscuit gravy. So if you really want to know what's happened, like white gravy, oh, get in my mouth. I, yeah, it's not for me. You don't like biscuit gravy? It's all right.

How do I end this? So, we're gonna kick this to you the listener. You know, we're gonna send this over to you. What do you think? Do you appreciate the versatility of spaghetti or do you like the high stakes? Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What? Spaghetti? So you're only talking about the specific noodle of spaghetti. You're not including, are you doing, are you doing another tomato soup thing? No. We're including fettuccini and linguini.

I have not mentioned those this entire episode. Okay, I'm just making sure. Now, when you talk about the versatility of spaghetti, it's either a marinaire sauce, a pesto, right a white sauce, right? No, there's limone and there's a, there's one more. Limone counts as white? What color is... I mean, it's clear, I guess.

Sir, or you're talking about like oil, just like, you know, olive oil on it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so if you're making lasagna, you can do a marinainae, tha, thina, thina, thina, thina, thina, thina, tha, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, a th, a th, a th, a th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, a th, a thi, a thi, thi, thi.a, thia, toooooma, tasuu. It's thia. It's thia, they's the same, the same, the same, the same,. Okay, so if you're making lasagna, you can do a marinaire, you can do a white sauce, you can be a pesto. Mm-hmm. See, the thing is you can't talk about the versatility of spaghetti and then say that everything that you find on lasagna, you can also find on spaghetti. No, that's exactly what you can do. I'm saying, I'm saying... But no one's put like, like, that you that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the their their that's their their their that's their their that's their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that you can't that you can't that you can't that you can't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their their. their th. th. th. their th. th. their thiiau. th. thiau. thia. thia. th. thia you're not using ricotta. You know, you're not layering things that you can, but like regular spaghetti is like, all right, I cooked some type of meat, maybe, or it's just pasta and sauce. Yeah, but even chicken pasta is a different thing to what you'll find in lasagna. You can put chicken in it. You do a veggie lasagna and then, because my mom would like we get the veggie one then

she'd have chicken. You know, because the veggie one was like a white one with like spinach and like carrots and stuff like that. So I'm, what I'm saying is it's like, lasagna is also versatile versatile versatile versatile versatile versatile, you know, vegetarian, you can make it vegan, you can put all the meats in it, you can put any types of meat in it. They're both versatile because at the end of the day they're both pasta, right? Yeah, which is why I'm not saying all pasta versus lasagna. I'm saying that spaghetti.

But what I'm saying is that the same sauce as you would put on spaghetti, they're interchangeable. Only thing we're talking about is a difference of the presentation of a noodle. Because if you wanted to, if you were truly nuts, is you could lay out, you could layer spaghetti up to make the sentence. That, that did not need to be said. No one needs that.. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, that, that, that, that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, they, they, that, that, they that, that, that, that, that, that. They that. They that. They that. They that. They that. They that. They, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. the. the. the. the. they, they, they, they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're really don't want you to finish this sentence that that did

not need to be said no one needs that in their eye mind no one needs to see that all right no one needs that violence in their life on their plates or in their ovens all right I don't like baked spaghetti is weird if anybody does that if anybody if anybody if anybody's out here thinking, wow, that was a great idea that Dulce had, I rebuke you, and I hope that the demon is cast out of you that would even have you think, you need to choose between spaghetti or lasagna. Don't try to mix this up and make some weird twisted abomination. There's something to be said for how, because this is one thing that I will concede just just just just just just just just thececececece. the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that's that's that I'll that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the thi. the the the thi. the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. that's a that be said for how, because this is one thing

that I will concede to you, okay? This is a thing where I'll be honest so that people don't act like I'm being crazy out here and unreasonable, okay? When lasagna is done right, it's incredible. Incredible! Like the green lasagna that I had to stand last night. I might go over and have it night. But to get there, there is, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, there is, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. This thi, thi, thi, th. This th. This is th. This is th. This is, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, thi. Tto stand last night. I might go over and have it at night. But to get there, there is some danger. There is some way that it could get messed up along the way that's not fixable, you know. And now you have a whole dish, a whole casserole type dish of something that you don't want to eat that just depresses you when you look at in the fridge.

And I just think that it's more worth it to maybe potentially go on this safer route with a spaghetti and some meat and some sauce that's harder to mess up because I think that the consistency, you were talking about consistency before. The consistency with spaghetti is rarely matched. Because it's, but it's because it's, that's like saying, oh I couldn't fuck up these apple slices.

I suppose if you, if you want to make it that bland, then hey, I won't stop you. But I'm saying, I'm'm saying if someone made an apple pie And it was trash and now you have a big ass apple pie this trash That's gonna be way more depressing than if someone gave you apple slices that you can't mess up because God did it nature brought it and now they're cut up for you to eat and enjoy You're saying you like spaghetti because it's harder to mess up? I've had way more messed up lasagna in my life than I've had messed up spaghetti. See, I and I can't say it the same. Really? So in all the years that you've been having lasagna and spaghetti,

I know you don't like pasta like that, but you're saying that your spaghetti has been more often messed up than the lasagna. I'll say I haven't had, there's been, I think for me the times where I've felt like lasagna was thea was messed up was either there was too much cheese, because sometimes it's like mozzarella, it gets to the point where it's like, oh, this is just gross, right? Okay. Um, it's either been too.. the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, the the spaghetti. the spaghetti. the spaghetti. the spaghetti. I'm they. the spaghetti, the spaghetti, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've the the the the the the the the the their. I their. I I their. I I I their. I I I their. I I I I I they. I I the. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's the. I. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I'm, the. I'm, th. It's t. I'm, I'm, ti. I'm, ti. I'm, ti. I'm, ti. I'm, th. I'm, th either been too much cheese or it's just been dry. Mm-hmm. And then spaghetti, it's the noodles are wrong. The sauce isn't flavorful, they're just not enough. I hate dry food, right?

Okay, yeah. So, but I feel like, but I don't order spaghetti out because it's so easy. It's like buying a baloney sandwich in my brain. And no, and look, I'm not going to fight you on that. Because I get spaghetti sometimes when I'm out, but that's if it's like a pasta limone or if it's something that I know I'm not going to do myself. So you're going to have a dish that has a spaghetti as the noodle. Exactly. But it's not the regular regular Exactly. The regular spaghetti and meatballs.

Also, what I wanted to say earlier was, I think times the meatball shop, I think sometimes our meatballs are too big. So you just hate good. You just hate the fact that they gave you these extra big balls of delicious meat. And now you're gonna sit back here and tell me. There should be an option. Also, also, also, the the the the the the the the the th. Also, the the the, the, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, tho, tho, tho, that, thate thate, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, the that, the that, the that, the that, that, that, that, that, the meat. I that, to sit back here and tell me. I'm just saying there should be an option. Also when they would come to the show anytime they brought the pork ones they were always underdone. Every time. Really? I didn't know that. Every time. I know that this is going to be contentious because people hold

pasta in such a high regard. You can be mad at me. I promise you I don't give any kind of a fuck. Jesus. You ain't got to message me. You ain't got a post on nothing. I promise you I don't give a good and goddamn about how you feel. About this fucking spaghetti or lasagna because I don't really give a shit to start with. So don't spend your time trying to message me.

Toll say it was wrong, okay, but I promise you I don't care. Now with the vanilla, I wanted to know how you felt about vanilla. Because I feel like the thing that I could never really fully get is, is exotic, okay? People had to hunt vanilla down. It's not the same. I care more about that conversation. Then I do about pasta. So what I want you to do is when you feel the need in your hork to go, don't say you was wrong, bada da, and lasagna's this and spaghetti's that. Just remember that spaghetti is just the lasagna cut up in strips.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what did you... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't take my thing from before. You want, that's what was... That's what the point that I made later. All this pasta shit is the same. We have to acknowledge that. All of its pasta, it's all the fucking sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is, is the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is the, is, is, is, is, is,. All of, it's pasta, it's all the fucking same. We have to, now yes, is the, is the,

I'd be a gaslit live. No, you're not be a gaslit live because I said, because remember I said earlier that I thought that all pasta was poor people food anyway. And it moves like poor people food. Okay? It might as well be if he had the sausages. So what I'm saying is that, I didn't disagree with you. Because when you were talking about the different thicknesses and consistencies and stuff like that, I didn't disagree with that.

But I'm saying is I like lasagna more because of how the ingredients are presented, and because it's harder to make, and more time went into it, I appreciate...... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that. I that. I that, I that, I that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't thi that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I didn't that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I didn't thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi didn't thi didn't thi thi thi thi thi thi's harder to make and more time went into it I appreciate it I see but spaghetti any any goober can fucking make spaghetti if you can make water hot and open a jar fucking today mmm okay that's a overarching message is I don't really like pasta I think I got a sip of some hater aid there, but yeah. It's not a haterate? Italians are fine. I have had many of them kiss my neck.

That's not what I'm saying. No, I'm not talking about Italians. I don't know why you hate the access to the delicious spaghetti, all right? I don't like pasta in general. It's like I'm not a thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't the the the thi. I don't the the the the the the the the the that's not the that's not that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I don't. that's not. ti. ti. ti. ti. tia. tia. that's. that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not. I that's not. I'm not, it's like, it's not a huge dislike. It's like I'm not a fuck. If I pick a restaurant, I ordered a ta, I ordered some pasta two weeks ago. Okay. I before that, I don't remember the last time I had it. I see.

So I'm not a pasta person, I'm really a bread, like I said earlier, I'm not a pasta person, I'm not a bread person, I'm not a beer person because pasta, bread, and beer are the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost of wheat. They are the solid liquid gas. Well, thank you for listening. And do you have anything coming up, uh, Dulce? Anything you want to throw to the people? I'm going to be at the hideout in Chicago. And let me tell you something, this friend's double feature? the? the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the to the people? I'm going to be at the hideout in Chicago and let me tell you something. This friend's double feature, okay, because it's going to be me headlining, okay? At like I think the show is a... whatever, doors open at 730. Then, then, after my show,

is Shalawa Sharp Show, the show that I am producing her one-woman show called Don't Reach in the Bag about her life's arc during the six years that she worked at an adult video store in Atlanta, Georgia. And I'm talking about late 90s, early 2000s. I'm talking about watching porn change from the VHS to the DVD. Okay, the characters that would come in, having explained that shit to her parents. All of that, the hideout. Chicago! September 30th, come through, spin your coins, and there's a nice looking man in Chicago, so if you want to just come say hi

to the kid, you know, I'm gonna bring your baby mama. I missed you. Yeah, please check out Dulce and check out Chalais, what both shows are gonna be phenomenal. And if you're looking to catch up with me, I believe this will be when the episode comes out. But I am gonna be in Phoenix, September 15th and 16th at CBLi Lodge. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, and that's a that's that's that's that's, and that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that, I, I'm,, but I am gonna be in Phoenix, September 15th and 16th at CB Live, so get those tickets as well. And it'll be hot, but it'll be fun.

We're gonna have a great time though, three shows, Thursday's gonna be at 7.30 and Friday is at 7 and 9.30. And that is in Phoenix, Arizona. Bring Josh a couple cold water as a lotion cooking. Phoenix. Ah, dry. Thank y'all. You all have a great rest of the day until the weekend.

Pasta! Ugh! This has been a comedy central podcast.