The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Leslie Jones Tries to Keep Calm | Taika Waititi and Allyson Felix

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

Leslie sits with actor and Oscar-winning filmmaker Taika Waititi to dicuss the true story behind his new movie, "Next Goal Wins." Leslie also covers RFK Jr's recent shenanigans while trying not to lose her cool. And, Leslie chats with Olympic champion, Allyson Felix, to talk motherhood, her favorite track & field event, and who to watch for in the next Olympic games.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality to to the quality the quality the quality the quality the quality the quality the quality to to to the to the to to to the to to the to to to the to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to tip. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. tip. tip. tip. tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip. tip. t needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Again that's zip recruiter.com slash zip recruiter the smartest way to hire. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast the weekly show. We're going to be talking about the election. Economics. Ingredient to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to bread to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the th. the the th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. the going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

You're listening to Comedy Central. My guest tonight is an actor and an Oscar winning filmmaker whose new movie is called Next Goals wins. Yes! Please welcome Tycho Watch TV! Yeah, yeah, he is silly. Yes, he is very, very, yes, he is very silly. He is very silly. He is very silly. He is a very silly. Yes, boo.

Yes, boo. Just so damn cute. Let me tap them in. Let me absorb the energy and their souls. Oh. Oh! Oh! So damn sexy. I'm ready now. I have fed. I am ready. Tell me about this new movie. Next goal when? Tell me about it. I'll tell you about it. It's the true story of the worst soccer team in the world.

And this really happened. American Samoa had a team and in the history of the country. They'd never won a game or scored a goal.am and in the history of the country they had never won a game or scored a goal. They still hold the record for the biggest international loss and that was against Australia and that was 31-0. So they didn't let that deter them. They got a new coach played by Michael Fasbender. He came in, turned them around and you know they kind of gave each other a little something and yeah

they both gained something from their relationship and it's just a it's like an uplifting story, rare these days, you know where nothing bad happens to anyone and it's just a beautiful uplifting story about an underdog sports team. Yes. And I know it's good. Oh my goodness. Tell me, tell me how you pick projects because you are funny. You know, people don't know this about Tyka, is that he's very funny. He has a great sense of humor and most of his projects are really funny.

Like what makes you pick the projects? What is your aim when you're doing that? I have to, most of it is like I want to go to work and know that I'm gonna have a good time and that I'm gonna enjoy my day. And you know, because I'm a filmmaker, and we get to go and do these projects. And people still haven't figured out out it's not a real job. You know? Like what we get to do, I mean we should, like, I'm amazed that they

let us still do this stuff. Yeah, we get to go to work, put makeup on, truss up in these things, these aren't even my clothes, you know, I'm gonna do these things, I'm gonna give these back after this, you know, and then and they they they they they they they that, but a lot of the times in these industries, people are like bitch in a moment in a bow and like, oh, my coffee wasn't hot enough. Yeah, it's like, man, just chill out. This is a good, so the whole film's about just chilling out, reminding people what we've got is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So. I'm going to taking this free cup.

I'm going to take what I'll take it. You know, I got this will. This will be mine too. That's it. Oh, you guys think we're all big wigs and we're rolling in it. We need what we can get, right? We'll have a whole of cups for you, baby. I'll give you a bag and everything.

Tell me, now you know I'm gonna bring it up, our flag means death. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So do you know what beast you was creating when you made me Spanish Jack? Do you know the trouble

you started in my house? Because I, can't nobody talk to me now. I want 20 husbands. I have I have a swore, have a gang of outfits, you know, the person. So what was you thinking when you created my outfit? My, my, uh, you know, it's just we needed powerful people on screen like that. You know, that show is so so inclusive and you know, everyone's represented and it's, I mean, it's like spot the hetero in that's in that, and that, you know, spot the heterosexual character in that show which is beautiful, it's a great thing to have. Also, you know, that we just need more shows that are different and feel like that, you know, I mean, I don't, I don't, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, I thi, I that, I that I that I that's just, I that's just, that, thi, that's just, you're just, thi, that's just, that's just, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you're, you're just, you thi, you thi, you're, you know, thi, thi. thi. that's, that's, that's thi, that, you know, I mean, I don't know if you've seen all the amazing fan art, which is basically just so, so good. Yes, there are some incredible soft porn artists out there. So, seriously, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got my head is black beard tattooed on the body of a dog

but you're such a good black beard oh my god I I would watch the show even if I wasn't on it that's how good that show is yeah me too so good I love the relationship of black beard a black beard I just one of my favorite things on the show because it shows such like vulnerability and love and like a tough man finding his feelings. I think it's so important to show that. I'm glad you said tough man. Yeah, the show that on screen.

Do you know what I'm saying? That tough men are supposed to have feelings too. It's like the way you found your way to love and everything, I love everything about it. I think, well, you know, when you look at human beings in general, when people, you know, when tough guys say things like, you know, never let anyone get too close, you know, not not going to, no, never fall in love, that's because they have a tendency to let people get too close and want to get close and a suckers for love. Yeah. And people who say, oh I can't get too close, me is that they love getting close to people.

Yeah, yeah. That's something I learned about you. Yeah. That's something I learned about you. When I first came around, I was like, he's just a big old softy and he just loves love. God, no he wouldn't think it. Big old, big old love lover. Well, okay, including me, you had some serious cameos. Come on there, mini driver, Bronson Pynjolt, is it how you say this name? Balky. Will Arnett, Fred Armisen?

Like, how do you get them to come? I mean, I mean, it's like, I would like to think it's just me, but I think that, you know, whatever the popularity of the show was and like how people got to see some of the stuff that we had made in the first season. I think that just was, you know, testament to the good job we were doing and people wanted to sign on to that. And I think comedians follow comedians and like, you know, we're all friends and we all like, well everyone's sort of, yeah, everyone, it's a lot easier for us to get each other, to convince each other. We're also massive extrovers that's like, yes. It's not that hard to question all the time, but I'm going to ask it because you know I'm crazy.

Do you know you're fine as hell? You're like one of those guys in high school that don't know that they're cute? Oh, I know. It's, it's, I mean, you like one of those guys who in high school that don't know that they're cute? Oh I know. Ah ha! And I knew back then too. So the thing is, you know, I don't know if you get like, you know, some of you get

you know, some of you will get this when you walk past a shiny surface like a reflection and you catch a glimpse of yourself and you're like... Nice. Who's that? What's he doing in here? Why is he looking at me like that? I'm not going the 17th. We're going to take a break. Thank you, Tyker for coming out.

Yes, back to their team. We will be right back to the next team. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly.

Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack, and th, th, and th, th, and th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, the, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the triuuuuui. tri-s, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip,'re looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter. the exclusive web address.

Zip Recruiter. the smartest way to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with. Look, look, I'm going to be honest with America right now. I'm known for, you know, not sugar coating stuff, you know? And I'm pretty loud. Really loud, actually. Kind of probably known for yelling, you know, I'm loud even when I'm whispering.

So, I just, I just, I just, I just, and you all get it, right? You know, everybody right now, you know, the upset, just getting upset. Everyone's on edge, the world is falling apart. But this is what I want to do. I want to be the example to the show to show that y'all can stay calm, okay? No matter what you see, you can stay calm. Okay? So that's why I created this new segment called Leslie Jones tries not to lose her shit. There was a time when election stories would really get me upset, but now I'm better at staying calm.

Huh? Huh? Okay? So let's see what's going on with the election. Third-party candidates could prove to have a major impact in this next presidential election. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is polling higher than any independent or third-party candidate in more than 30 years. It's not like RFK is going to win, but he could hurt Joe Biden from winning. Oh, well, that's not good.

But, you know, it's really not good. You know, the race is the race is tight enough. As it is without some random Kennedy dude jumping in to cause all kinds of chaos. But you know what? That's democracy. Okay? Everyone got a right to run for office. And who knows?

Who knows? This dude might actually have some good ideas. Kennedy, the candidate best known for his anti-vaccine advocacy and history of promoting ugly conspiracy theories. He's linked chemicals in our water supply to gender dysphoria, antidepressants to school shootings, and insisted COVID vaccines were a tool to control people via microchips. RFK Jr. said last week that somehow COVID-19 was engineered to not target Asians and Ashkenazi Jews.

Jesus wept. Uh, thu. Now, that doesn't make me happy. But then again, it's a free country. Okay? Everyone has the right to believe in what they believe. Ah, see? See?

See? I did it. I didn't lose my shit. Robert Kennedy. I did it. I didn't lose over Robert Kennedy. I'm so proud of myself. We did it. I didn't lose over Robert Kennedy. I'm so proud of myself. We did it everybody.

Yes. Now, is there anything else I need to know? A recent photo on a flight is sparking an age-old debate. Is it ever okay to remove your shoes on a plane? Passengers snap this photo of presidential hopeful Robert Kennedy, Jr. with no shoes and, key point here, no socks. Kennedy was actually coming back from the bathroom with no shoes no socks. Mother-Boh! I try, y'all saw me, y'all saw me, y saw I try, right? You witnessed me trying. Now I'm about to go in on that ass. This mother-bottombed to the...

This mother-bottom to went to the... He went to the plane bathroom barefooted? This is the most disturbing video I have ever seen of a Kennedy, and that includes the one where a guy's head exposed! Like how are you the worst Kennedy? Your uncle killed a lady by driving off a bridge! But then I see your nasty feet and I wish I was in that car. The only reason you should come out of a plain bathroom barefoot is if you

got robbed in there by someone who only needs socks and shoes. And he doesn't, he doesn't even believe in vaccines. How far have the Kennedy's fallen? JFK was raw dog in Maryland Monroe, but the only thing this Kennedy is raw dogging? It's Tettness. row but the only thing this Kennedy is raw dog is is tetanus. Why was that plane even allowed to land? Where is the Malaysian pilot when you need him? And you know what? And you know what else? You know what else? You know what else? One more thing? F. F. you for still and Larry David's wife. I guess.

Okay, that didn't go well. I guess we'll try again next time. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com. Zip Recruiters' smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip recruiter's powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it.

And you can use zip recruiters' pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election, economics,

earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches and I know that I listed that fourth but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is the most decorated track and feel athlete of all time. She's also the co-founder and president of Sash. Please welcome

seven-time Olympic gold medalist Allison Felix! Oh my now, first of all, you already know I'm obsessed. Obsessed with the Olympics, you know everything Olympics. Now, I know you've seen all of the clips. You're a commentary. It's everything. told you to see all of the clips. you know everything Olympics. Now, I know you've seen all of the clips. Your commentary is everything.

It's everything. Top Tears. I love, I love, I love, I love giving Olympic athletes they love. I mean, because you guys deserve it. Like, let me, let me, let me read this off. She has been in five Olympic games from 2004 to 2020. She has 11 Olympic medals, 7 gold, 3 silver, 1 Bronx. She has 20, she has 20 world championship medals.

Go ahead! Yes! That's what I'm talking about. I got this question. When you were in high school and running track, did you ever think you was gonna do all of that? Not at all. Now, in high school they called me chicken legs. I was just concerned with making friends. And you know, I was like, maybe I could get a scholarship to college and that was my big thing.

But I had no idea or even really aspirations to take it this far. Really? When did you get aspirations? Like when did it click on? Yeah, it was somewhere in the middle towards the end of high school where I was like, oh, you know, maybe I could go to the Olympics, maybe I could make this a career. But I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. So it was. Oh, yeah. Wow, and you would have been running fast after them kids.

You would have called. Nobody got back. Well, okay, now, I know this is crazy because you know, I'm going to ask this because I'm a black girl like you. When you're running, how do you choose how to do your hair? Because see, people don't know that black women, you know, we got to put our hair in a certain way. So explain all of the hair styles. I'm a braids type of girl and so I just don't want to be bothered. And so yeah, usually some type of braids or corn rows or something that makes it really easy so I could focus on what I have to get done.

Exactly. Now this is my big question and, that you don't even understand the stuff that female athletes go through. We gotta have babies. Y'all want to have babies, y'all get your wife to do it, and you ain't gotta go through that. So tell, tell this America, how it feels to have to not only be this Olympic icon, but then have people around have a baby and then have people tell you that you can't do it after you to have your baby. Tell us about that.

I mean, it's so hard and women have been doing it forever. And the thing about it is just not being supported. You know, everyone wants the glory moment when everything is great. And when you've come back and you've gone through the struggles but they don't want to support you through that and that's what I experienced and really wanted to fight on the behalf of other mothers to say we have to do this differently you know we need to support every athlete holistically and that means motherhood as well. Absolutely, absolutely. Now was that criticism and all of that stuff coming towards you the like the meaning of you doing your shoe, your own shoo?? to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th the th the the the the the the the the tho the the thoes that, that, the the the the the the the the the really really really really really really really really really the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th. the, the, the, th really really really really really really really really that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thr-I, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, thr-I that, really really that that that, the the all of that stuff coming towards you, the like the meaning of you doing your shoe, your own shoe?

Absolutely. I, you know, I parted ways with Nike over that fight for maternal protections. I was looking for another footwear sponsor and I couldn't find it. And so in talking with my brother, we just decided to do it ourselves. That's right. We thought we were making shoes that I could wear in the Olympics but then we learned as we went down that path that shoes haven't been made for women and what that means is a shoe was made off of a last which is just a mold of a foot and it's been the mold of a man's foot to make women's sneakers. So we do things differently. thinks differently thi thinn. the m m m m m m m m mm. the mm. the mold the mold the mold of of of of of the mold of the mold of thoooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooo. th. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooo. I the. I th. Our shoes are built off the mold and off the function of the woman's body. And they're just specifically made for her.

That's right. That's right, women looking out for women. Now, you know I got to ask you, you know, I know you're retired, but I know you got some favorites. So who should we be looking at for coming up Olympics? I mean, we have so much talent. I'm really excited about Gabby Thomas. She's doing so well, Anna Hall. And then of course, you know, my mother's Shelly and Frazier Prize, you know always.

Oh my God, love all that. Yeah, I think this is going to be her final Olympics. Yes. and just excited to see what she's going to do as well. Now, I know Ashkari is, I mean, like, so exciting, like exciting, exciting, right? Because let me tell you, I've gotten the chance to go to Olympics, which you guys, if you ever get a chance, I mean, seriously, just to even go to one event, try to go to track and field. It will change your life. It is so beautiful out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out to to their to their their to their their to their their to their. to their. to to their. to their. to to to to to to to to to to to theircala. their. to go. to go. to go to go their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the the their. their. their. the their. their. their. tre. treck. trexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxi. trexxxxxi. th. th., it will change your life. It is so beautiful to watch. And it's out and it's green and it's not just the running

that's going on, it's the middle, all the events in the middle. Yeah, the people throwing spears and stuff. Now, I got to see Usain Bolt run. And it was, you guys, and I hate to say it this way, but y'all look like horses almost. Like your legs are so strong. And these these dudes was running. I'm talking about they veins. And there's just like... And you saying was just like, and you say it was just like, you're saying, it's just like, hmmm fast. How do you get that fast? Is it build on legs? Like what is that? I mean, it's a a a a a a a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. It's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. the. the. they. the. the. the. the on legs? Is it like, what is that? I mean, it's a combination.

It's definitely a God-given talent, but it comes with a lot of hard work. And so you get faster in the weight room, you know, all the weights, the pliometrics, all of those things. And a lot of practice, a lot of dedication. Wow. What is your favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite?? the the 200. I always used to call it my baby but then I had a baby and I was like okay I don't think I can do that anymore. So but that's a perfect distance to me. Really? Okay the 100 yard dance? Is it because?

My start isn't that's how you have to have a good start. You have to have a good start. And the 400 is just too long. It's laconic acid and anybody and anybody that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that the that the that's the that's the that's the that's that's that's the the that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. the. the the the. the the the. the the the the the the 200 is like the sweet spot. Oh my God, I just want to ask you everything. I have all these questions. Okay. Last question, what does it feel like to be Oprah's favorite things? It's so special. You know, I feel so proud. We just launched our running shoe. And so to have the Felix Renner on Oprah's favorite things., I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me, let me, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, th me me, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th tho. tho, th launched our running shoe and so to have the Felix

Runner on Oprah's favorite things again it's our second time being on there. So I mean you know to be you know if Oprah approved that's right girl you're legit you're about to sell it you're about to sell it I want to say as another black woman I if no one's ever told you and I'm pretty sure you've heard this before I have never been so so to so. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the before, I have never been so tremendously proud of your accomplishments. Thank you so much for being the person you are and being strong and fighting and just showing people that you've got to fight for yourself. I love you and I think you're, I think you're a bag of chips and all that. You know what I'm saying? Thank you for seeing you. No, it's for real. Thank you, Allison! Thank you, Allison's Felix for coming out. Explore more shows from the Daily Show from the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show,

weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmouth Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be toing about ingredient to bread ratio to bread to to bread to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to the talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast.