The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Lindsey Graham Gets Eulogized, the DNC Gets Scammed & the War in Iran Gets Reheated | Twin Temple

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Jordan Klepper dives into the latest headlines: the DNC gets scammed out of $29K, Trump shades Lindsey Graham at his own funeral, Sean Hannity uses the senator's eulogy to gush about the ratings he delivered for Fox News, and America's war with Iran is back on. Plus, Troy Iwata comes to us live from Lindsey Graham's heaven, which looks suspiciously like Mar-a-Lago. MAGA bros know the best way to honor Trump is to look just like him, which is why we're proud to introduce the Presidential Neck Vag! Made of premium, jiggle-responsive silicone, this cooter collar is the perfect accessory for your MAGA life. Whether you're crushing it at the office or just hanging with the boys, you'll look great sporting the fleshy folds of Donald Trump's iconic neck. Sorry, ladies, the Presidential Neck Vag is for alpha males ONLY. “Satanic doo-wop” band Twin Temple chats with Jordan Klepper about their upcoming new album, “Doomed Lovers.” The duo talks about working with Shooter Jennings, recording analog with a 37-piece orchestra, making national news for getting kicked off a tour for their Satanic imagery, and explains why they call their sound “Satanic doo-wop.” -- New customers can save 35% on your first month of subscription by going to https://dosedaily.co/TDS or entering TDS at checkout. -- To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/dailyshow -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on Paramount+ Follow TDS: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You're listening to Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This. He loses something that's not an election. Maga gets brand new merch. And if you thought your drunk cousin made things awkward at a funeral, just wait till you see the president. So, let's get it to headlines.

Let's start with the Democratic Party. With the way the country is heading, they are poised to make big gains in the 2026 midterms, as long as they stay focused and don't do anything stupid. New reporting reveals a scammer stole nearly $29,000 from the cash-strapped Democratic National Committee last year after posing as chairman Ken Martin in a fraudulent email. Jesus Christ! Your 2026 Democratic Party, everyone.

We will stand up to the rising forces of authoritarianism and tell them loudly that our pin number is 1003. But let's move on to someone who probably could still win an election. against the Democratic Party, Senator Lindsey Graham. Yesterday was his funeral, and beforehand, his remains were honored in the Capitol Rotunda. Personally, I don't understand this tradition, because, I mean, that's his office. Like, when I die, I don't want to be brought back to work and displayed next to the copy machine, you know?

I want to be shot out of cannon straight into the Kalamazoo River as per Klepper family tradition. But the big story was President Trump's appearance at the funeral, where he made sure that the tic-tacks he chewed were the funeral-appropriate mint ones. I tell you, now that is leadership. This is a nation in mourning. There will be another time for citrus adventure. And then our president and his newly freshened breath

stepped up to the podium and attempted to say anything nice. Anything nice at all. No matter how heated things got in Washington, virtually everyone, Republican or Democrat, liked Lindsay. Well, not everybody. But it sounds good. I can't believe I have to say this to Donald Trump,

but can you just lie to us? It's a memorial. You could paint a rosier picture. I didn't go to my Uncle Lou's funeral and tell everyone he was the Zodiac Killer. I said he was good with numbers, you know? Come on, Donnie, you guys spent so much time together. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe share a heartwarming story about how you two met. As you remember, Lindsay and I did not exactly get off to the best of starts.

Back in 2016, Lindsay said something rather nasty. So naturally, I did something that I shouldn't have done. I shared his personal cell phone number with the millions of people that happened to be watching that particular day, as I made a speech. Okay, interesting choice. I might have chosen a moment that highlights Lindsay's character, but I guess the time he got 10,000 calls from guys named Mike Roch and Hugh Jass is also equally good. But the point is, you got off to a bumpy start.

You shared his phone number, but that's all in the past. I remember the number 202-2-2-28-0292 if anybody wants to give it a shot. What do you think is going to happen? You think the phone's going to start ringing in the casket? Lindsay's going to burst out of the coffin like, I gotta get this. It could be someone trying to book me out a Sunday show. Also, why do you still know that number? I don't even know my wife's number.

I just know, like, my number and, like, 1-877 cars for kids. That's it. Look, I know Trump is the president. So, of course, he had to speak. But I do hope that when he's finished, we get to hear from someone outside of politics with a more personal relationship to the late senator. Fox News host, Sean Hannity, is next up to give remarks to give a eulogy. They couldn't find a personal friend that Lindsay loved, like a predator drone or something.

I mean, have our politics and media fused so tightly that a premier guest at a senator's funeral is a pundit and a right-wing network dedicated to parodying that specific senator's propaganda in an escalating spiral of grievance and culture war stoking? I mean, please, please, please, please, please, please, please tell me I am being too cynical that maybe this isn't all just about propaganda and ratings, and this speech will be a beautiful, touching tribute.

Senator Graham was great for ratings. It's so true. It's so true. It's so true. It's so true. It's so true. Oh, you know what? Maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe the first thing St. Peter checks at the Pearly Gates is the TV ratings. Mother Teresa, you scored a point two at the 18 to 45 demo. Enjoy hell, bitch. You know what, Hannity didn't just come to praise Graham's lasting effect on Sweeps Week. No, he also wanted to remind people how in life, Graham so dearly loved proximity to power.

He would have been so honored, Mr. President, that you were here. Mr. Vice President, that you were here. I see the Secretary of State is here I see the entire cabinet is here thank you all of you each and every one of you Chief of staff is here Steve Whitkoff is here

Yes my favorite part of the eulogy The Crowd Shoutouts section Steve Whitcoff is in the hizzy over here What's up player I see Marco Ruby over there getting his cream on Oh there's pink head set over there

In the back at the bar pouring one out Oh he's drinking it Oh, okay, it's 10 a.m. You do you, boo. Do it. Tell you what. Usually at a funeral, there's some fun speculation about how the deceased is in a better place. Maybe give us some of that, Sean. Lindsay, Mr. President, I'll argue in my mind probably has a heavenly version of Mar-a-Lago. He may have a little more gold in the Oval Office in his mansion in heaven. And I wouldn't be surprised if he added one big, beautiful ballroom and an arch somewhere on the

property. Okay. Okay. Let me get this straight. You're saying that when God asked Lindsey Graham, where do you want to spend eternity? Lindsay said, you know that tacky club in Palm Beach that's so ugly it became a nickname for botched plastic

surgery? I want you to stuff a ballroom in it, slap an arch in there and then pack in an oval office so I'm living in a Trump version of backrooms. That's my little slice of heaven. I mean, okay. With all due respect, with all due respect, why the f*** would anyone want that?

Because he would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life. You, Mr. President. Wow. That's really what it has all come down to for Republicans. Your entire life is so thoroughly and abjectly reduced to the ass kissing of one man. And then when you die, other Republicans use your eulogy to continue the ass kissing in a perpetual motion machine of chapped lips and lubricated cheeks. And maybe, maybe, you know what, in some way, sucking up to Trump is just the best way to honor how Lindy Graham lived his life.

But, surely, there must have been some other thing this man was known for. He was extremely hawkish, I will tell you, he never saw a war that he didn't like. Yes, that is true. Perhaps the man loved Donald. Trump, but he also loved bombing people. For more on the late Senator Lindsay Graham and his funeral, let's turn now to our senior political correspondent, Troy

Iwada. Troy. Jordan, I'm here. I'm on the scene in Lindsay Graham's heaven. Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't even know you died. Wow, what a great friend. No, no, no. I'm not dead. I'm in a

K-hole right now on Earth, but my friend's doing CPR, so I have a few minutes to talk. Well, I hope that works out for you. But I'm just surprised that Lindsey Graham's heaven looks like Mar-a-Lago. Yeah, of course. You're surprised. You Brooklyn liberals all think heaven

is some natural wine bar where you reunite with all the dead people from your polycule. But newsflash, this is what heaven looks like for real Americans, like Lindsay Graham. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend eternity here? I guess that's fair. It's not that bad.

You got good weather, ambience, spending your days lounging in a cabana. Whoa, whoa, a cabana? Whoa, you got cabana bucks? Whoa, those are like $200 a day. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna find a chair in the sun. Wait, I mean, you have to pay money in heaven? Yeah, duh.

How else do you think you get in here? Kindness to your fellow man, the grace of the Lord. That sounds like someone's going to the red roof in heaven. Enjoy that boingo hotspot, Jordan. Look, this place is for winners. There's unlimited Wi-Fi for 1299. The omelet bar has ham cubes and lip filler. And all night, every night, you dance to the YMCA over and over and over and over again.

And your arms never get tired no matter how much you want them to. I got to say that doesn't exactly sound like paradise. Well, Lindsay loves it. Okay, sorry you don't get your liberal fantasy where Zoron feeds you non-GMO grapes on a free bus driven by a trans Carl Marx. What are you talking about? Look, the point is, Lindsay's happy here. He gets to be with all his bestest friends,

like Roy Cohn and Herman Cain and Jeffrey Epstein, you know? Yes, I see you, Jeffrey, in the pool. That was a great dive. Troy, those are all Trump's friends. Is that really all Lindsey Graham wants to do? No, no. Okay, he has lots of options. He can spend his days roaming the halls. The tap, tap, tap of his footsteps,

echoing off the marble tiles as he passes through corridors of dolls with Trump's face on them, staring at him, his skin slowly flaking off, revealing a body, still alive yet decomposing. Young man, there's no need to feel down,

I said, young man. Wait, I know what this is. This is a Twilight Zone thing. It looks like heaven at first, but then you realize he's actually getting punished. Okay, of course, you think it's a punishment. You'd prefer spending your days watching nude Hassan Piker Twitch streams

while a Native American drag queen reads you the Quran. This is heaven for Lindsay. Okay? Does it sound like a twilight zone thing to forever gaze into Trump's reflecting pool? Your body's slowly being overcome by algae as you stare into the waters? Seeing not your reflection, but Trump's.

Hearing not your voice, but the howling cries from the wars you pushed for? Young man. Pick yourself up the ground, I say. No, no, this is the Twilight Zone. You're doing the Twilight Zone. Jordan, come on. This place is filled with beautiful buxom ladies everywhere

who want to have sex with him. Does that sound like a punishment for Lindsay Graham? I just heard myself say it, and it does sound like the Twilight Zone. Yeah, my black and white now? Yeah, this is definitely the Twilight Zone. Troy Juana, everyone. It's Birdstrap. Don't go away. Summer routines live or die by how easy they are.

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We are very excited to have you as well. Although I gotta say, satanic duwap, isn't that style been done to death? What is satanic duwap? I mean, you know, we called it Satanic Duwop just because A, it's funny and B, I think it's just rock and roll, honestly. You know, we draw a lot of inspiration from everywhere like jazz, blues, Latin, all over the place. And then, yeah, we're Satanist, so. You're Satanus. Yeah.

We are. What does that mean to be a Satanist? Is that just mean someone who doesn't go to church? Like, am I a Satanist? Maybe. I think you are. I mean, didn't I see you at last night's satanic orgy? Hey, I had a mask on, you know?

I'm not supposed to call that out. You're going to go straight to heaven for that one. I've got to tell you. Oh, God. What is it? How do you view Satanism? I think that's something I hear, but I don't know what the, what the tenets of Satanism now is in this day and age.

Well, I think a lot of people think that, you know, Satanism is going to orgies and you're nude under the full moon, drinking chalices of blood and hanging out with goats. And, I mean, we're here to say, you know, that's absolutely true. That's what Satan is. Yeah. Yeah. Where did I sign up for this? I don't need to go to the blood thing, but I could really use that first part, sounds like a lot. Jordan, you don't have to keep pretending. Okay, okay.

This is, you could just... Definitely saw you at the orgy last night. I was afraid of ask for God's sakes. So you guys made some news recently. Yes. You were kicked off of a recent tour for satanic imagery. And that sort of made the headlines across the US. I'm curious both how that felt and also how the response has been to that.

Yeah, I mean, we were pretty shocked. you know, there was a few days before the shows began. I feel like it's time for maybe a little more satanic panic. Like, let's get it going again, you know what I mean? What is it? No, there was that idea of satanic panic back in the day, right? But rock and roll has as a history of being anti-authoritarianism. Yeah.

Anti, I mean, just being rebellious in its spirit. Do you see like a kinship to those early eras of rock and roll? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think for us, you know, the reason, why we're drawn to rock and roll is that it was always about pushing back against societal norms. You know, about questioning the status quo.

Like, for example, I mean, rock and roll was born out of Jim Crow America. And rock and roll musicians were some of the first people to tear down, you know, the segregation rules. It's like, you know, you look at Frankie Lyman who sings like teenager in love, and you wouldn't think, oh, he's some, you know, crazy shock rocker. But actually, when he performed on,

I want to say it was like the Tammy Show or something. thing. Black and white kids, teenagers were dancing together and people were like, he was banned from the show, they pulled the segment. Like to me, yeah, like it's do-op, right? People imagine it as like soda pop shop music, but this was something that was really shaking the core of America and rattling people's cages and being like, why are we segregated? You know what I mean? This is a concert. And so I think that's kind of what draws us both to like rock and roll, but also Satanism. I think there's a lot of through lines. Do you see that sort of as a Trojan horse?

The idea that you're using, call it Satanism or call rock and roll a do-op as a way to get other ideas into the mainstream? And I guess I'm curious if you approach the way you make your art with that in mind. Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I think at its core, though, it's like the music that we truly love. You know, I grew up on the Beatles. The first time I saw an Elvis cassette and listened to it, I was like, oh, that's what I want to do. It's just like always been something that I've genuinely just loved.

I think as far as like bringing the Satanism to it, that's another element of who we are, right? And so it felt like with this project, it was a way to just combine everything we love because it's like really fun to go shopping for human skulls and like Roy Orbison records on the same day, you know? And this gives us an excuse to do all the things that we want to do. So how, like, are we tongue-in-cheek with our Satanism?

or are we like, yeah, or we live living it day in and day out? I mean, both. We're both. Oh, we're both? Yeah. Is that possible? Yeah, absolutely. So what does the day-to-day Satanist manifesto look like?

Like, you wake up, like, what does Satanus have for breakfast? I mean, I think on the daily, it's like living willfully, you know, it's like every day is the day we wake up and we get to live our true will, you know, we get to make art, we get to do what we love, you know? So to us, that is Satanism, you know, being the individuals we are, you know, like, know, know, like, know thyself and being able to carry that out, every day. Yeah. No, that's Socrates, right?

It's a Temple of Delphi, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you're just, you're just old school philosophy. Yeah, I mean, look. Mixed with essentially libertarianism. Is that what is it? Modern Satanism is just like libertarianism, but like with better outfits kind of?

Yeah, yeah. It's humanism with rhinestones and beehives. Oh, yeah. Well, I can get into that. Oh, and to answer your question before, Satanists drink Virgin's blood for breakfast. That's what they drink for breakfast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you guys have gotten pushback from places like Alex Jones in the past, right?

Because you guys have been around for a while since 2016, is that right? Like 1666. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Good. Okay. Yeah.

I don't know where I got my research from. Yeah, you need to check the notes. But there was a panic, and the far right sort of saw what you guys did as aggressive, anti-religion. Like, what does it like to engage in that kind of conversation, this kind of music, playfulness, and expression in a time where things get weaponized on the internet and go viral and go fast. It's fun.

It's fun. We're having a blast. I mean, Alex Jones was a little scary. They got very serious about that. Like, we did get doxed. I think I was telling you earlier that, like, they went and barricaded our front door with Bibles, like broke into our house.

It wasn't pleasant at the time. And we had, like, the proud boys threatening to murder us at a show. And back then, we were starting out was 10 years ago. So we were still playing like these little bar bands, like shows, like on the floor with no security. Just if someone wanted to stab us, they definitely could have. So it was a little scary. Would that be a good thing for a Satanist? Is that like an active devotion for Satanist? Like, yeah, yeah, is your audience? Is that how you, is that what an encore looks like? I mean, if that's, you know, if that's your kink, if you're into, you know, stab playing. I wasn't there last night.

Okay? Your music, though, is what I love about it, it's very analog. It feels like a throwback. And the way you guys record it as well feels like it is, it's really important that the sound doesn't feel overproduced. I know this latest album,

you perform with like a 34-piece orchestra, is that right? Why is that important to you? I mean, I think a lot of the productions we love, like Phil Spector, he was working with this, arranger called Jack Nietzsche. They brought in all this beautiful, like, orchestration, you know what I mean? At the time, he was kind of calling it, like, symphonies for teenagers.

And so it's always been something we really wanted to play with. We just didn't, you know, they're a little bit expensive, so we didn't exactly have the means to hire a 36-piece orchestra. But I think it was just, you know, a sonic thing we were wanting, had been a goal for like a long-term goal for sure. And also, I mean, when Shooter approached us to do this record, you know, he's like country royalty. Shooter Geniems.

Yes, Shooter Jennings. Yes. badass musician. And he very much does come from this like country history, which we love American music, including country. And so we kind of wanted to give it like a little bit of a contrapolitan like Nashville flavor, because I mean, I love like, you know, Roy Orbison and RCA and Patsy Klein and everything that like Owen Bradley and like they were doing down there in the South. And it really was kind of an answer to what was going on with like Motown and New York. And Gold Star Studios and the wrecking crew in Hollywood.

And so we just kind of wanted to explore, like, that avenue of classic American music because it's something that we do, you know, feel really passionate about. Yeah, it's a specific period as well. Like 1962 to about 1965 is when all this was happening. You know, you had Nashville with the A team at RCA, and then you had Gold Star and Phil Specter and Jack Nietzsche, and then you have Motown. So it's all these things that we love just exploring the different kind of flavors of them, if you were.

It was really exciting. I mean, it felt like Christmas morning, like hearing the song, of the orchestra. I was just like, I was like crying. I was freaking out. It was beautiful. Before I let you go, do you guys still commune with the Dark Lord? Do you talk to him very often?

Oh, hell yeah. Every day. Let him know that his plan for America is going like gangbusters. Just let him know that. Doom lovers is right here. It comes out October night. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

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