The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Love in the Time of Corona | Darren Walker

Episode Date: April 10, 2020

Divorces increase due to pandemic lockdowns, Jordan Klepper learns about doomsday preparation, and Darren Walker discusses the threat COVID-19 poses to incarcerated Americans. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruits smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiter's powerful matching technology

starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.

But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second the th.. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. thi-S. the, the, thi-S. thi-S. thea-Sepepea-Sepe-Sepnipe, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. There. There. There. There. There. It. It. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. 0e. 0e. 0e. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. What's going on everybody? I'm Trevor Noah. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Social Distancing Show. We are now on day 24 of staying at home to try and prevent the spread of the coronavirus. And here's your quarantine tip of the day. If you get lonely, because everyone gets lonely,

just take some of your nail clippings, soak them in water, and in a few days, they'll grow into a clone of you. Wow! I can't believe I made a perfect clone of myself! Kill me. Anyway, on tonight's episode, coronavirus is putting war on hold. Jordan Klepper gets lessons from survivalists

and how quarantine is changing the way we love. So, let's get into it. Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. From Trevor's couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah. Ears Edition. If you spend all your time watching the news, you probably feel like the world is about to end.

And it is, but that's no reason not to have some fun, which is why we always remind ourselves here at the the the the the the the the the the the the daily the daily the daily the daily the daily the daily the daily the daily the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to about to end. And it is, but that's no reason not to have some fun, which is why we always remind ourselves here at the Daily Show to smile, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Okay, first up, with people no longer able to go out to their favorite restaurants, some restaurants are helping people, restaurant at home. Yeah, they're helping people create the experience themselves. Like yesterday, Waffle House began selling bags of its signature waffle mix for $20 and they were completely sold out in four hours. And I think this is a great idea. In fact, I hope all fast food chains give us the ingredients to mimic the experience of

eating there. You know, they should just tell us how they do it so we can do it for ourselves. Like Popeyes, they can teach you how to make their spicy chicken sandwich. Or chickfil-a, they can show you how to use pickles to hate gay people. And White Castle can teach you how to beat yourself up in a parking lot. news. Corona virus is now shutting down wars. Yes, Saudi Arabia has announced that they will stop bombing Yemen, one of the world's poorest countries, and they say they're going to do this in an effort to stop the spread of coronavirus there. And this is so inspiring right now, because Saudi Arabia is basically like, let us work together

to kill this virus so that we can go back to killing each other because otherwise the virus wins, my friends. Do you agree? Why don't you just not kill me? Ah, hey, hey, hey, yeah, okay, I guess so. Speaking of winning, back here in the United States, Dr. Anthony Fauci, lead member of the White House coronavirus task force, and hottest doctor since McDreemie has announced that thanks to social distancing, extreme social distancing, the US is starting to see some

glimmers of hope. And he also said that the country might not reach the 100,000 deaths as originally projected. This is amazing news. But he cautioned everybody to take this as a sign that official warnings have been effective, but not that they were overblown. Or as he put it, now is not the time to pull back at all. It's a time for us to intensify our efforts. And I completely hear what Dr. Fauci is saying.

Fighting coronavirus, there's a lot like having sex. When you're close to achieving your goal, that, that, that's, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi.. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi, that's not the time to pull back. I'm almost there. I'm almost there. Wait, why are you stopping? Well, you said you were almost there, so I figure we can go back outside. What? All right, well, that's enough of that. Let's catch up on the headlines. All over the world, the confirmed cases of coronavirus continue to grow day by day, with the global tally, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now thi thi thi thi thi to to to to world, the confirmed cases of coronavirus continue to grow day by day, with the global tally now sitting at 1.5 million people. And as this pandemic rages on, more and more countries who initially thought that they could outfox the virus are quickly realizing how wrong they were. For example, Sweden was one of the only European countries that didn't shut their population

down, because you see, their plan was to keep sick people and old people at home, and then allow healthy and younger people to live their lives as usual. And it looks like that strategy isn't working, because Sweden now has a higher death toll than all other Scandinavian nations combined. And this is what people need to realize about the coronavirus. I've seen people say, why don't we just let some people go out and some people, yeah, but coronavirus spreading is like a secret. You can tell people not to spread a secret, but does that ever work?

No. If you want a secret to stay secret, you've got to lock it down. Or eventually, everybody's going to find out that you never actually saw Black Panther. And that's just an example I thought of. I mean, I've seen Black Panther. We've all seen Black Panther. I mean, my favorite scene was when the Black Panther marries the tiger king. There's also some worrying news coming out of Singapore. The country whose early response to the pandemic has been described as the gold standard, they reported a record-breaking 142 new infections yesterday. And this is yet another reminder. We have to stay vigilant with social distancing. Because now that we've got corona on the ropes, this is not the time for us to relax.

Because if we're not careful, all of us, we could end up like the first Avengers. That's right, people. Let's make sure we go for the head. You know, whenever we talk about coronavirus, we always think about the lives that will be lost, the economy, and people's jobs. But the one thing we also can't ignore is how it's going to affect people's relationships. So for today, I thought, you know what, let's change gears and focus on something a little different in our brand new segment, love in the time of Corona. Now, the coronavirus outbreak has been amazing for Ying Ying Ying and Lili's relationship.

Yeah, because with no one around, those two panda bears have started having more sex than Donald Trump whenever Milani is out of town. I'm joking, of course. He doesn't care if she's in town or not. But it turns out, for us human panda bears, the coronavirus hasn't been as beneficial for our love lives. Splitting up together. Divorce rates spiked in China in the wake of the coronavirus, so is the US next? We are seeing a pressure cooker of disaster for couples. Business is booming right now for Eleanor Alter, a prominent divorce lawyer in the epicenter of the pandemic, New York City.

I'm seeing an uptick in calls. People calling it all hours of the night, seeking legal advice. I'm getting a lot of calls about people who are in close quarters with a person that they were planning to divorce perhaps this year. It hasn't happened yet. Wondering if they can go forward with a divorce during the pandemic. Yeah, coronavirus is the worst thing to happen to marriages since the invention of the pool boy. Why who's got to be so sexy when you're raking those leaves in the pool,

pool boy? And getting divorced is a the worst the worst the you can't leave, sweet lord that must be the worst. Just imagine if you lived in like a New York City apartment what do you do then? Huh? Okay fine. You can have the bed and I'm gonna sleep in the microwave. So yeah because of coronavirus, divorce lawyers are seeing more business than a guy selling glow sticks at Coachella. And if you're wondering, why is this happening? Well, it's because quarantine is showing a lot of couples that they might love each other, but they don't like each other. When it comes to the quarantine, the biggest problem couples are having is just the amount of pressure

that the relationship is putting on each other. Think about it. Normally, you're around your partner for maybe five hours a day awake, but now that's tripled. When we don't have as much distraction going on, we tend to hyper focus on certain things that, the little things that bother us. Part of the reason that could be one and three people surveyed say they do not shower or bathe every day anymore. Also, 15% of respondents say they do not get dressed out of their pajamas. He wanders through the house and continues to talk to me when I'm on the phone. Can't be in your bathrobe and those are the things like the little things I have to be aware of because the camera really covers the whole space. Man, I really feel bad for this woman. Think about it. Her husband is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. the. this woman. Think about it, her husband is walking around in a bathrobe while she's trying to work over Skype.

That is so embarrassing because that's her job. Like imagine if you were in your boss's office and then your spouse just walks in, shirtless, covered in cheetos. Honey, do you have a towel? Excuse me? My boss is here. Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Boss, do you have a towel? The Cheetos, they get everywhere, look at this. I see why people are getting tired of each other. Like just because you've committed your life to someone, doesn't mean you want to be committed 24-7. Hey, in fact, after coronavirus ends, I think marriage vows need to be updated. Do you take this man to heaven to hold but for like an hour in the morning morning morning morning morning morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tip. today. ti. today. today. today. today. today. today, today. today. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to this man to heaven to hold but for like an hour in the morning and then

maybe three hours at night when you watch TV. Now don't get it twisted. Corona virus isn't breaking up every couple. There are many lovebirds out there who are taking the initiative and turning quarantine time into quality time. You may be stuck at home but that does it mean date night is canceled. One couple use their free time to recreate the iconic the the the the the the the the the the th th thine thine thine thine thine thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thee thee thee thee thee thee thi thi thi thi thi th. thi th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi t. te te te te te to te. to to. tooo. toooo. te. te. too. te. tfo. tf. te. te. te. time. You may be stuck at home, but that doesn't mean date night is cancelled. One couple use their free time to recreate the iconic final dancing from the 1980s film, Dirty Dancing. The Jones family is used to being creative, turning famous paintings into their own works of art, quarantine style, like American Gothic and Washington crossing the Delaware.

Grant recreated date nights around the house, a casino, sports bar, bowling with paper towel pins in their living room. I think my favorite part of the date was the dance club, which was our bathroom, which when we went in there, he had music blaring and then he like turned the lights on and off. Okay, now that guy, that guy deserves all the brownie points in the world. He made a full nightclub in his bathroom for his woman. Wow, that's love. And this thing was super realistic. He even charged her $18 for a vodka cranberry and then stole her purse when she got

drunk. That is commitment. So, is coronavirus good or bad for your relationship? Well, in my opinion, it just reveals what your relationship already is. I know it is tough to be stuck inside with someone all the time, but this is reality for a little bit. So my advice is try and make the best of it. And I'm not just saying this, that's something that I've done and I think it's worked out.

You know what, baby,? Times may be tough, but we have wine, we have each other, and that's all we need. Kill me! Cheers to that. No. For a while now, we've been sending Jordan Klepper on the road to cover the presidential election in a segment we call Jordan Klepper fingers the pulse. But with the coronavirus, Jordan Klepper is locked up at home along with the rest

of us. But that's not stopping him. So for now, he's going to home along with the rest of us. But that's not stopping him. So for now, he's going to be looking at the people who plan for exactly these kinds of conditions in his new segment, surviving and thriving with Jordan Klepper. I should be out fingering the pulse. Instead I'm in focused on surviving and thriving in my one-bedroom apartment. But while I'm sheltered in place like a boss, am I prepared for things like tomorrow or, God forbid, next week. Luckily, I found a place that's entirely focused on preparation.

Fortitude Ranch. It's a Prepper Paradise, with everything from self-sufficient farming to solar-powered luxury bunkers and weaponized gazebos that are there to stop marauders. I reached out to operator Stephen Renee to learn more. Stephen, how are you? I'm doing great, thanks. I'm not super big on prep. I gotta be honest, I don't think about getting a thiiiiiiiiii- I thi-I thi-I thi-I to thi-I thi-I to to to to to to to thi- I thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeateateateate, theatefefficient theateatefefficient theateatefefficient theateatefficient to to to to to to'm doing great, thanks. I'm not super big on prep. I gotta be honest, I don't think about getting a dinner reservation till morning of.

And then it's a pain of the ass. Luckily I know some people have been at a tavern, so I'm usually okay. Walk me through this preparation. Can you show me what you got? Sure, let me show you some of the facilities Jordan. This is the hardened bunker three feet underground with eight inch reinforced concrete. This is where we have all the different rooms. Does nobody want to paint the wood? As you come over here, you can see that we have a restrooms for a family.

There's a bunk bed that turns into a couch. What kind of thread count do you have going on on that bed? I couldn't tell you exactly, but I could get back to you in an email that information if you like. That'd be helpful. So here you can see an example of some of that shelf-life food. So that's freeze-dry food. Wow. That's a lot of beans. Here's a different variant for a room, wood stove working over here. So this is more set up for a couple. But they better really like each other.

Right now, it definitely looks like something in a true crime, Netflix series. Life is going to change, right? If you're going to show me yours, I should show you a mind. The place where we're living specifically. Yeah, yeah, do you wanna see, I just, any kind of advice you have how to turn this into a hardened situation. I got a decent amount of records here, jazz, blues, garage rock for sure.

Food wise, you can see I got some sprouted chili verde rice, some Bombay potatoes, a lot of Indian food, hopefully that keeps. We'll see. So Steve and I have a decent liquor cabinet over here. Chenar, Campari, apparel, like definitely enough for a good weeks worth of negronies. I don't think that that's really going to help you too much in a real serious situation. Well, we get real serious, I'm just going to go straight in. Well, they may make you feel better for a limited amount of time, but I'm not sure in the long term it's going to do you much good.

Maybe he's right. Negronies will only take you so far. And since Fortitude Ranch says they're expanding to 12 undisclosed locations around America, I want in. Give me goats, tree houses, plywood, everything, and digestive problems for a year straight. Where do I sign up? Well unfortunately you're a day late and a dollar short we're all full. I think we're dwelling too much on the past. Let's talk about the future. I would be a

real asset at Fortitude Ranch. I was an improv teacher. I taught sketch comedy. I I once took a drunk painting class. But we, you know, we're looking for people who are more interested than in being an asset than they are for comic relief. Well, I'm not saying it's all going to be comic. I mean, a lot of the insights that I have inherently are not funny. Well, at this point, we're actually down to a waiting list, so. Fine, who need you anyway? I'll just stay put here on what the guy with the stand on Canal Street told me is 1,000 thread count, Egyptian cotton.

It's noon. Thank you so much, Jordan. You're looking good locked up. When we come back, I'll be speaking to Darren Walker, president of the Ford Foundation, and we'll be talking about the impact of coronavirus on America's.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the th, th, thi, thin, thin, thin, thi, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, th, th we we we we're, we're, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th we're the, we're the, we're the, we're the, we're the we're thin, we're the we're the we're thean thean thean thean thean thean thean, the we're the, I'll be speaking to Darren Walker, president of the Ford Foundation, and we'll be talking about the impact of coronavirus on America's prisons. So don't go away. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. thi recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com. Zip Recruiters smart technology starts showing you qualified people for it. Zip Recruiters smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack.

Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Again, that's zip recruiter.com slash zip. Ziprecruiter. The smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.

But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a Second Look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Earlier today, I spoke with the president of the Ford Foundation, Darren Walker.

And we talked about how coronavirus is spreading through America's prisons and how he thinks America can address it. Check it out. Mr. Walker, thank you so much for joining us on the Daily Social Distancing Show. Happy to be with you, Trevor. Let's get straight to the matter at hand. You are fighting for an issue that has been raised by a few and ignored by many. The issue of people who are locked up in prison right now and may be about to experience some of the worst effects of the coronavirus. Tell me why you think this is such a big issue and what do you think needs to be done?

Well, first, the foundational fact that really is at the core of the issue, and that is that the United States incarcerates more people than any nation on the planet. 2.3 million Americans are behind bars. 6.7 million Americans are ensnared in some way in the justice system. Those people are living in some ways on a cruise ship, a cruise ship that is destined to be a life sentence for many people. People who are simply there because they couldn't post bail because they had a technical violation. Like the gentleman who died this week at Rockers Island,

the notorious Rackers Island here in New York City. The county jail where a 53-year-old black man died. He was there for a technical violation. That means he missed a meeting with his parole officer, or he broke curfew. That is not a reason to be sentenced to that. I think everyone would agree, or you would hope most people would agree. The question would come, though, from many people who would say,

what can be done? You know, you have these prisoners who are locked up, you have people who are in the prison system in some way, shape or form. But what would you propose gets done in this situation? Well, there are actions that governors can take. And in fact, we're seeing actions. Our governor here in New York State, Governor Cuomo, released 1,100 people from Rikers. Governor Pritzker in Illinois, Governor Polis in Colorado, Governor Newsom, and California have all

taken aggressive steps to release people. We can release elderly people. There are tens of thousands of people behind bars who are elderly and infirm. There are people who are within six months of their date of release. Why not accelerate the release of these people and make it possible for them to not be subjected to this virus, which in many ways is a heat-seeking disease for black and brown people because it metastasizes

around the very conditions that our community is victims to. That is the condition of chronic disease, hypertension, asthma, high blood pressure, obesity. And this disease is like a heat-seeking disease that a virus that finds these populations and ultimately kills. Here's the question to play devil's advocate that many people would ask. They would say, I understand that you don't want anyone to die from this, but how do you convince the population at large that people who have been locked up for maybe committing a crime as opposed to a technical violation should be allowed out? You know, is this not endangering the public at large?

How would you respond to that? There's tons of research. This is an issue that has been debunked. And so it's not about public safety. There are literally thousands of people incarcerated for low-level crimes. They can be released, and it is in no way a challenge for public safety. Obviously, this is an issue that is being amplified by the coronavirus, but it feels like the coronavirus is exposing issues that have long laid dormant or even alive within America itself.

After the coronavirus has gone, once life returns to normal, I know that you have often t oftentimes been called upon by leaders such as Joe Biden to give your opinion and to try and help shape policy. What do you think America needs to do moving forward to try and prevent the prison system from experiencing what it's experiencing today and what it was experiencing before the coronavirus hit? We simply need to look at our history. At the time of every crisis, let's just look at Katrina. Katrina exposed the inequality in our society that is manifest in race, and racism and

America's racist history. We didn't learn the lessons there. We're once again being presented with a national emergency that exposes the core issue of inequality and race. And the question is, are we going to learn the lesson this time? Let us not forget that philanthropy cannot take the place of government. All of the giving in this country combined in the aggregate in one year is less than the smallest government, federal government agency. And so while

I am very proud and we should celebrate the generosity of Americans, we also need competent government. Competent government and generous philanthropy can do great things. Thank you so much for taking the time today. I'm hoping that your words are heard by the people in power and we'll continue to get the message out. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for your time, Darren. Well, that that that that that that th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi the thea. thea. theanneu toneu toda today today today today today today today. today today thoea. to get the message out. Thank you, Trevor. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for your time, Darren. Well that's our show for today.

Before we go, though, as America reaches peak corona infections, remember that our doctors, nurses, and first responders need our help. So please, go to Thrive Global's first Responders First and donate whatever you can to help them get the masks, gloves, and gowns that they need to save lives. And if you want to help in New York City specifically, then you can go to the New York Mayor's Fund, COVID-19 response, and donate there. Stay safe out there. Remember to wash your hands. And you know those voices in your head? Well, maybe now's now the the there. Remember to wash your hands.

And you know those voices in your head? Maybe now's a good time to hear them out. I'll see you next week. The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook,, and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.