The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Michelle Wolf Covers Sexual Assault Allegations Against Eric Adams & Diddy | Eric André

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Michelle Wolf covers sexual assault allegations against Diddy, Eric Adams, and Jamie Foxx just before the expiration of New York's Adult Survivors Act. She also takes on a new law banning height and weight discrimination in NYC, King Charles benefitting off of dead Brits, and space travel leading to erectile dysfunction with Michael Kosta. What is the opposite of a Karen? What's the most white woman thing to do? Can men be Karens? Michelle Wolf investigates whether or not white women deserve such a bad reputation. And comedian Eric André discusses why writing “Dumb Ideas” almost felt like a prank on himself, how his extreme transformations for “The Eric André Show” have affected his personal and intimate life, and why he would love to leave America some day. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. From New York City, the only city in America. It's the show that invented news.

This is the Daily Show with your host, Michelle Wolfe. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michelle Wolf. Yes, I am back here at the Daily Show. I'm Michelle Wolf. Yes, I am back here at the Daily Show after six years away, mostly because the show has a new HR person. So I'm now allowed back in the building again. We've got all the headlines today, all the major headlines, everything everyone's talking

about. Everything that happened this weekend, we're going to talk about it right here, right now. today, all the major headlines, everything everyone's talking about, everything that happened this weekend, we're gonna talk about it right here, right now. You guys, I'm so excited because we're covering all the stories that are important to us as people and humans. So let's get into the headline. All right, the first thing on everyone's mind. Let's kick things off with our old friend hashtag me too. Remember her? Yeah. Last year, New York passed a new law that gave people a one-year window to file lawsuits for sexual assault that otherwise would have been passed the statute of limitations. Last weekend was the deadline, and boy, did the lawsuits come rolling in.

The mayor of New York is accused of sexually assaulting a woman 30 years ago. In a new court filing, the woman alleges she was sexually assaulted by defendant Eric Adams in 1993. The woman filed her claim just before the midnight expiration of New the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, th. the, the the the the, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the statute, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate, the statute, the statute, the statute The woman filed her claim just before the midnight expiration of New York's Adult Survivors Act. The temporary law signed last year by Governor Kathy Hockel allows adult sexual misconduct accusers to file lawsuits that previously would have been barred by the statute of limitations. And in the past week, Jamie Fox, Guns' and Rose, guns and Rose, the frontman Axel Rose, and Sean Diddy Combs also faced Adult Survivors Act lawsuits. Fox and Rose denied the allegations, Combs also denied, then settled. Now look, obviously a lawsuit is not proof of anything, but Ditty did settle pretty quickly. I mean, one day later he was signing that check like,

I strongly deny any allegations against me, 30 million, there you go. Also, please don't kill me ditty. I know, your list is long. It's long. I'll go at the end. Uh, All these lawsuits, they popped up over the weekend just before the deadline. So congrats, creeps.

If you didn't get a lawsuit this weekend, you're in the clear. You go grab that titty. You earned it. Grab two. Both handfuls. Get in there. I'm back for a reason, guys. Isn't sexual assault fun?

But like, why is there a deadline for rape victims? You know, right after Thanksgiving, too. Makes me feel a little like the greasiest Black Friday email ever. Act fast, you only have two hours to get justice for the worst day of your life. File a lawsuit today and receive a free toe. Now let's move on to some news for their shorties and the fatties, which is something I can't say anymore, thanks to a new law passed in New York City. A new law that bans discrimination based on a person's weight and height went into effect last week. Mayor Adams signed the legislation six months ago.

The law adds height and weight to characteristics that are protected from discrimination when it comes to housing and jobs. Other issues involve age, race, gender, religion, and sexual orientation, also characteristics protected by law. That's right, New York City is banning discrimination based on height and weight. So congrats on your mama finally be able to rent that apartment. their own seriousness. This morning in compliance with this law, Coney Island officially removed all those signs that say you must be this tall in order to ride the roller coaster. And shortly after, 50 short kings died after riding the cyclone.

They fell right out. They fell right out. It was a field trip. It was a field trip. I laughed at that joke for so long when we were writing it. Just a bunch of little people falling out of a... Too long? More. Just too bad that there's no good way to share this news that the people that it's meant to protect.

You know, like, hey John, good news. You can't discriminate based on height or weight anymore. Why are you telling me that? Oh, no reason. Just spread the news, little guy. I mean, big guy. I mean, guy. Guy, guy. Let's move on to some international news, some very important international news.

A scandal out of Great Britain. Apparently there's this law that's been on the book since medieval times in some areas of the country. If you die, you don't have a will. All your shit goes to this guy. Yeah, that's right. Wrong hand, this guy. Backwards. The King of England gets your stuff. Your house, your books, those little soccer trophies, I'm sorry, football top seas or whatever

you call them. And I know this sounds bad but this is not a scandal. Great Britain is stealing from English people instead of Africans. I call that progress. Oh man. Guys, who left that Trevor joke here? Come on. That joke was for Trevor. All right.

A new study found that exposure to cosmic radiation could cause astronauts to suffer erectile dysfunction even after they returned to Earth. Which finally explains when Neil Armstrong's second sentence on the moon was, I swear this never happened. And they say, they say what causes this is cosmic rays, but what if it's just the awe-inspiring experience of being in space, you know? After that, you're having sex with someone and you're like, yeah, I've seen the cosmos fall away before me like a glittering sea of infinity.

So sorry if your vagina just doesn't do it for me anymore. Or, or, to be inclusive, I've seen the cosmos fall away before me like a glittering sea of infinity. So sorry if your butt hole doesn't do it for me anymore. We care. We care. We care. We care.

Here at the Daily Show, we care. That's... For more in the space race, we go live to NASA headquarters with our very own Michael Costa. Now, Michael, this is some shocking news. It's... It's devastating, Michelle. It's why I've made the difficult decision to not be a... Now Michael, this is some shocking news. It's devastating, Michelle.

It's why I've made the difficult decision to not be an astronaut. It's too bad because I was just a couple of YouTube videos away from learning math. But Michael, space travel is one of humanity's greatest technological accomplishments, after the Japanese toilet, of course. Of course. It's a hot seat. What are we talking about? Isn't planting the flag on the moon worth a little bit of a limp dick? Well, unfortunately no. The fact is space stick is a life or death issue for our planet. See if science fiction has taught us anything, it's that most of the time you spend in space, you're having sex with hot aliens. That's how we prove to them

that humanity is worth saving. But what if an alien queen takes me to the bedroom and I can't perform? Earth gets vaporized just because I couldn't blast off into her Milky Way? We can't take that risk. Michael, I don't think that's how real space works. Well, which one of us was almost an astronaut, Michelle? Neither one of us. So what are you saying? We can't go to space anymore because you want to protect your boner?

Of course, I'm not saying that. I mean, it's humanity's destiny to explore the galaxy and harvest its resources so we can keep building iPhones. No, Michelle, now is the time for us to come together as a planet and devote all of our collective scientific knowledge to keeping our astronauts rock hard, okay? Whatever it takes, space Viagra, paint a nipple on the moon so it looks like a boob. And if nothing else works, let's try sending teenage boys up there. Space conditions won't stop those boners any more than my grandmother's funeral did.

Thanks, Michael. Michael Costa, everybody. When you come back, I find out how white New Yorkers can be, so don't go away. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show. You might be surprised to hear this but I'm a white woman. It's true. And this is true. And this is true. And this is the tru. And this. And this is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toooooooo. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Daily Show.

You might be surprised to hear this, but I'm a white woman. It's true. And this week, I hit the streets to ask my fellow white women, what's the whitest woman thing they've ever done? White women get a bad rap, and I'm out here on the streets of New York to ask, Should we? What do you think is the most white woman thing you've done? Oh, maybe, the the the the w w w w maybe, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu? thu? thu? W, thi thi thi wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho-a, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theea, thea? wa'''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, that, thi, thi,the most white woman thing you've done? Oh, maybe go get a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. Having a spa day. I bought some bell bottom yoga pants from Allo because I saw him on another white girl.

What were they, like, 150? Yeah. About 150? Sometimes I'll walk around when I'm in a really bad moon. And imagine I'm Sarah Jessica Barger. Yeah, you have your own little sex in the city moment? I was invited to an Indian wedding. I got the outfits.

I went to the wedding, it was amazing. Yeah. After the wedding, I didn't know how to clean it. their clean it, and their clean their clean theirers and they tried try, and their th. thrines, and tried, and thrown, and tried, and tried, and tried, and try, and try, and their, and their, and throwne, and their, and their, and I their, and I their, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, with them, trying to tell them like, it's really like kind of rude and racist that you're charging me this much to like clean this garment. Right. So I call my Indian friends, like, wouldn't you be so proud of me? They're just like hysterically laughing me, like, we've been trying to tell them this for a hundred years. And you thought thrown tho o' tho tho tho thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown they're thrown they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. to be. to be. to be like. to be like. to be like. thea. thea. try. try. try. try try try try try try try try try try try to tho. they're just just my first. Oprah. Oprah. Oprah. Opra. Michelle Obama. Naomi Watts. Oh, Naomi Watts. Okay, okay.

But more than not. Not just because she's a supermodel, but I don't know. Living here and that kind of. Naomi Campbell? Oh, did I say Wad? Yeah. I like her too. Have you ever been in a situation where you have been like, I've got gotta go because I'm like, my Karen's like right here. And you're like, I don't wanna let her out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've certainly felt the rage of what a Karen must feel. I was at Trader Joe's and I went up to the lady, and I said, can I have flowers?

And she said, I'm talking to someone, sorry. And I said, okay, well, I'll sit I'll the I'll the I'll the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. to to to to toe. toe, I'll, I'll toe, I'll toe. toe. told. toe. told, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, told, told, told... I'm, I'm, toe. I'm, I'm, toe. I'm. I'm. I'm. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. together. t. together. together, I'm, together, I'm, together, I'm, I'm, together. toe. toe. toe. toe. together, I'm talking to someone, sorry. And I said, OK, well, I'll sit here until you're ready, because I need you to help me pick out a bouquet. And she goes, I'm talking to my friend, sorry. And that was when I was kind of like, people suck at their jobs. When that happened, did you say anything to her? OK, I never do this. I went to her manager. to to her, I to her, I to her, I to to to to her, I'm to her, I'm to to to to her, to to to thiae, thia, to thia, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to say, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm too, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, to, to... I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I manager and I said, she needs serious training again. Would you ever feel like you're about to be a Karen? If there's an opposite of Karen, that might be me, but I don't know, I hope.

Whoa, what would you name the opposite of a Karen? Ooh, how about a scarlet? A scarlet? Do you think where every day is a dream, and we can try this and we can try that? No judgment. Yeah, I love that. A scarlet.

I'm going to be a scarlet. Do you feel that only women can care in or do you think men can care in as well? Men care all the time. They just don't, it's like, of course it's so loud. What do you see men doing one blinks the eye. It's like, oh yeah, he's just, he's speaking his mind. Yeah. Yeah. And when women, Karen, they're just... Yeah. Yeah. What's the last thing you cried to get out of? Maybe work a long time ago? I don't know. the thinneigh. th th th th th th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. to thin. thin. to th. thin. to th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. thin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. the. the. th. the the th. the the th. the the the th. the the th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. the th. are part of the problem. I think we're a big part of the problem. I mean, if we look to like 2016 and the election numbers

there, like white women were a big part of the problem. I think, I think, they, yeah. It's just those numbers don't vote for us. So should we maybe not be able to vote? I know, definitely we need to vote. I'm like upset when people don't vote. I'm like, this is, we fought for this and then I have to remember like not everybody got to vote at the same time as white women did. When you hear people don't vote, what is your, what do you say to them? Do you have like a, you should vote pitch or anything like, the sidewalks you live on, do you like trash on the street?

You might lecture a little bit. Yes. Yes, yeah, yeah, definitely. What do you think is the best part about being white? I don't usually think about... I don't usually think about... Maybe because I'm from Russia. Do you think maybe not having to think about being white women are not a monolith. There's a whole range on the Karen Scarlet

spectrum. After meeting with so many white women with diverse viewpoints, I realize there was one thing we all have in common. I'll dance anything. I do like to dance after like one or two dreams. Every day I do something called Madonna dance. We'll dance whenever, wherever. I could do the word. When we come back, Eric André will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show.

My guest tonight is an actor and comedian who is currently on tour. He also co-authored a new book about the making of the Eric Andre's show called Dumb Ideas. Please welcome Eric Andre! Please welcome Eric Andre! Eric Andre! I'm a big fan. I'm a together. Yes. Yes. They're

so the Oh, yes! They hopped up. Eric, big fan. I'm a big fan of you. Oh, well, thank you. And your whole lifestyle, your whole Spanish lifestyle? I have a very international lifestyle. It's incredible.

Yeah. And you would like to be an international body as well. I'd, you gotta get me over there. Yeah, you gotta get me over there. We both would love to leave America. Yeah. And it's very scary here. Every day is Halloween. Yeah. You know but what I mean what do you have to be worried about in America as someone that is? So devisly handsome. Yeah, here we go. Because I'm just a study abroad, you know?

Like I'm just going, I'm just going for the Savice. Well, I want the Saviche too. You know, there's a lot of guns here. It's like the Wild West. There's a lot of guns. Yeah, not guns, algebra class. Yeah,. Yeah. Yeah. It feels weird to do. Are we at the end? Is this the end of? Are we at the, is this Act 3 of America? I mean, I kind of like to think so. You like to think so? It brings me great stress. Because then it means something new will come, you know? Uh-huh. You know, out of the ashes will rise China. And there's no problems over

there. No problems over there. And yeah, I agree. I am. You know, I was in an airport the other day. And I, uh, I was through security and I was like, huh, we're safe. Because there's no guns through security. Oh, in Spain? No, no, in America. I was thinking about it in America. No, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're sneaking guns all the time. The, the TSA, they're not the sharpest group. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th, th. the, th. th, th. th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t....... S, t. We, ta, ta, ta, ta, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,. The TSA, they're not the sharpest group. And there's no disrespect to all the TSA agents out there.

Hard-working, underpaid testing. But like, you know, this stuff sneaks in. Yeah. Have you snuck anything? I sneak, yeah. Every time I'm at the airport, they're in a tonne. Yeah. I to a tea. I can't say I'm going to the airport right now. You have me in a no-flight list. I often bring in that, you know, the stick that has the ball with the spikes on the end. Oh, like a cat and nine tails?

Like a medieval, like a to see. I just like to see if I can get it through. Yeah, challenge the TSA. I encourage all of you to challenge the TSA. Make them work for it. What's the worst that can happen? What's the worst? Just try it. Yeah. Well, so that's, you do pranks. You do pranks. I do pranks. Yeah, I do pranks. Did you feel like writing this book was a prank on yourself? Yeah, yeah. I'm not a book writer. I'm not a book reader. The last book I read was Where's Waldo? So I, uh... Did you find him? And I never found him. And that's why I stopped. It's a lot of work. It's a tremendous about a work. You know, yeah, this is not this is just work, but this is you just go blah blah blah, TSA, blah, blah. This is like,

we have a deadline. We have to have this written and out here and this. I feel like this is something that agents love to push. You got to write a book. What do they want from me? I feel like there's also no money in books. No. No. You know how much we made so far? 70 paces. Yeah. That's not going to get you very far in Spain. That will get you farther than it wouldn't America. Yes. Yes. So you. Ask me anything. I'm an open book. I'm an open book. I'm spread eagle under the table right now. That's uncomfortable I am. You like to transform yourself for your roles. Let's talk about... I got head-to-to-toe Filipino surgery, plastic surgery. Yeah, I completely changed my race and Nationally. No. Did I gained what picture of which Filipino you'd like to look like? Yeah, I showed Manny Packing. Yeah, I was gonna say.

Yeah, I was trying to remember the Filipino boxer. Like, I put the name, I was like, I'm gonna name the wrong person. No, that's good. And it's gonna be very racist. Um, yes, I've gained, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the the, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the. Yeah, I, I, I, I, the.. Did, th. Did, th. Did, the. Did. Did, the. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did, t. Did. Did. Did. Did, taped. Did. Did. Did, t. Did, th. Did, th. Yeah, I've gained, I got, I got gaunt one season. I tried to look like McConaughey and Dallas Buyer's Club and that was bad. And then I got as like big and plump as I could, I wanted to look like Red Fox Drown or something. And then I, and then I got shredded, I got ripped like Dwayne the Rock Johnson for one season. And then it all went to shit. Then I went to Portugal right after after after after after after after after after after after the the the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha th. I th. I the th. I the the th. I the th. I the th. I the the the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like me like me like me like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the like like like like like like like like like the ca. I today try ca. I ca. I ca. I con. I con. I ca. I ca. I try. I try. I try. I try try try th ripped, like Dwayne the Rock Johnson for one season. And then it all went to shit.

Then I went to Portugal right after I got ripped, which took me like half a year, and I just drank my weight in wine and it all, all went back. Now I look like a beautiful female orangutan with like bellowing breasts, like decuple-aunged breast. You really paint a picture. Yeah, I can see why you're an otor. Yeah. You're away with pros. Did you enjoy or... Getting fat is the best. I was going to say that has to be the best. You do get depressed after a while, but I was eating melted ice cream, peanut butter jelly sandwiches and pizza every night. It's awesome.

Then you keep looking in the mirror and it's fun at first. You're like, wow, it's crazy. I look gnarly. And then you get really depressed. You get really depressed. I got rid of all my body hair that season. I really see it all. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I waxed. I wax wax wax. I wax. I wax. I wax. I wax. I wax. Because the previous season, I didn't brush my hair all year

and I didn't wear deodorant the whole time, and I grew up my fingernails like Freddy Kruger. So I was trying to do like the opposite of what I did the previous season. How long did your fingernails get? They got pretty bad, and my girlfriend of the time was not happy. But what about all the back scratches you could give her? Uh, yeah, they're not a lot of back scratches. It was hard. Intimacy was difficult with nails about that. Yeah. Yeah. I just have trouble opening like cans of soda with nails. Yeah. So I imagine intimacy is also. Itimacy is a challenge.

It's not easy. And I stunk that year. I didn't wear, I didn't wash the, my outfit, my wardrobe. I would like run circles in it and sweat into it. I didn't wash it for a whole year. And I didn't wear deodor for the whole year. I was tough to date. That sounds.

Yeah, I was narly. I was Oscar the Grouch. Yeah, that sounds a lot. It's kind of unnecessary too. Like you can't smell me through the television. It was just to freak out the guest. That's a really good point. Yeah. Can't smell you through the television. Not yet. No, not yet. I mean hopefully. Soon, very soon. I, um, did the guests like gag when they smelled you or? Yeah, they would, they would, I remember, uh, I interviewed Amber Rose and she came out and hugged me and she goes, you need to wash yourself. It was repulsive. It was repulsive. It was bad.

Yeah, yeah, and she's worked at strip clubs. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, she smelled many a body odor and that she that that tickled her tickled their nostrils. This is, have we started filming or is this like a Is this a rehearsal and then I come back tomorrow? I think? Thank you. I think I think I think we're filming? I just you know as we keep going I remember how much I'm terrible at interviews no what you're talking about you're great you're very confident oh oh this that's that's a why are, why are you so confident? Why am I so confident? Oh, well, you know, my big dick. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Keep rolling over it with the legs of this chair, you know. Oh, wow. And it's that long you lose feeling, right? Am I right. Am I right? Am I right? Yeah. No, I've got, I've got, I feel like, this is why I don't have a podcast.

Because I feel like you have to have guests on a podcast and people would be like, what do you want to talk about? And I'd have to be like, you're going to have to bring it. Because I don't know. That'd be funny. You can do that. Yeah. What do you want to talk about? You came to my house.

You're on my podcast. Why don't you just bring your phone here and then record a voice memo? And then repurpose to get lawyers anymore. What are we talking about? You know, what do we got left? You know? Um, I'm sure they'll keep that. Yeah. I was gonna say it. They'll keep that. I wanted you to just start crying at the end of that. I should have like splashed water or something where they couldn't go back from it, you know, like, we're here now. So what's going on in Spain? In Spain? Okay. Do you drink

wine? No, I don't really. You stopped because it was a problem. Um, you know? You got to a point where it was dark. I, this is like Jack Carrowax final days. This is the fun thing about when you don't really drink anymore is that a lot of people, it shows how many people thought you had a problem. But you never did. I mean, I don't know, maybe I drank too much. But a lot of people were like, you finally quit. It's rough. And I was like, I was like, didn't, I mean, sure.

But you're still doing drugs. I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing cocaine and all that stuff. I do the hardest drugs. Only needle drugs. Wow. And not just heroin. Steroids, you know, yeah. Whatever you got.

If it's in a needle, boom. I've been doing so many steroids. My dick is, my boss, teeny tiny. Teeny dinning. These guys are marbles. I do Pfizer and Moderna recreationally. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just, I didn't want it to keep going.

Going to be on the cusp of COVID all the time. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. I that's. I that's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that's. I th. I th. I that's. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just tha. I just tha. I just thi. I just thi. I just thi. I just thi. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I thi. I thi. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just to to to to the. the. to the. to the. to the. the. to to to to to to to to to to keep. to to to to th be on the cusp of COVID all the time. Yeah, yeah. COVID edging. That's what they call it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And kids, you can do that too. Where's my camera?

Just my fingers in there. Okay. You can edge? Are you encouraging kids to edge? Is that what that was? I want my name taken off the show. And my face blurred, I'm not citing the release. It has a book, that's coming from a guy who's a book called Dumb Ideas. And some ideas are available now and tickets for the Eric Andre show live or available at

Eric Andre tour. We're going to take a quick break. I'm going to talk about Hulu, December 1st, season 6th. Thank you. Thank you. Is that what you wanted? Is that good? You're great. Thank you.

John Stewart here. Unableably exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. That's our show for tonight, but before we go, World Central Kitchen is the first to the front lines providing meals in response to humanitarian, climate and community crises. Most recently, they have relief teams feeding families in Gaza, Israel, Egypt, and Lebanon.

If you can, please support this amazing organization in their work at the link in the below. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show.

It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative.

Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.