The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Oatmeal vs. Grits | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

“Open your ears and listen to me. Get that oatmeal in, okay? Get your calcium. Okay? Get your iron in.” - Josh Johnson “Grits can be breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch. Grits can be any meal. You can have your breakfast grits. We've all had fish and grits.” - Dulcé Sloan It’s oatmeal vs. grits this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. Hold Up is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. What's up, Ears Edition, listener. It's Dul Say Sloan, correspondent for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original Daily Show podcast, Hold Up. Hosted by me and Daily Show writer, Josh Johnson. It's where we take our office banter until weekly war of words about topics big and small. In this episode we debate oatmeal v. Grits. We go back and forth about which has the best has, which has the most variety, and which is more delicious.

Tune in to find out which side of the debate we each land on. And if you like the show, check out the holdup podcast wherever you get your podcast. The sweetest thing I've seen with grits is people who put a little bit of catch up on their grits. Wait, who the... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Flag on the motherfuckin' play. You never seen that? No!

There's people in the world that put a little bit of, um, I mean, I know ketchup and hot sauce aren't the same thing, but they might put a little bit of hot sauce on their grits. their grits, might put a little catch on their grits. No catch on their grits. Thank you for tuning in to hold up. My name is Josh Johnson. I'm one of your co-hosts. I'm from the writer for the Daily Show and I am joined by the saunct.

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tha. No, I've seen it. Yeah, like like Paris is burning type stuff, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I want to go to one of those balls so bad. I do too. I have a real appreciation for them, even though I don't fully understand everything that's going on. It's all amazing. Well, it's like, you know, they call it a death drop, but it's actually called a dip is what it's actually called. But there was this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy th. th. the guy th. the guy is th. th. th. the guy is thi. th. th. I th. th. I have th. th. I have th. th. I thi. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have to th. I have th. I have th. I have. I have. I have. I have. I th. I the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I to. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I want. I want. I want. I want. I called. But there was this guy that did this one, I have to find the video. This man did such, this person, he just did this move, they just did this move, because I know how they identified, I don't want to be rude. But the move that they did, it was like almost like a soft backflip,

but they were holding like the bottom of their foot and the leg was straight, the arm straight. Yes, yes, I've seen it. I've seen it. Wow. And you see someone in the background, just grab the other person and then get up. And then someone has to be like, no, no, come back. And it's like, any time you see something that makes you run away, it's like when black people are laughing and they go to run away......... they. they. they. thu. thu. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. that. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. their. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, th. And, to. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And th. And th. And the. And in order for me to do it I would need to be shot like that whole that whole movement that was done I could only do it if I had been knocked backwards but was also passing out but was also fighting to stay awake like that like that's what all that looked like to be also a trained cheerleader and gymnast yes yes all those things happening simultaneously so so for listeners we did try to educate you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th the the the the the the the the the th the tho tho the the tho the the the tho the the tho the the thoooo the thooooo thoooooooooo. tho., yes. All those things happening simultaneously.

So for the listeners, we did try to educate you on certain things, which is just having a genuine moment. But... Ball culture. Ball culture, which is so confusing when they're trying to outlaw all these drag shows and all those others. Which is so smooth. Ball culture. It's elegant. so smooth as well ball culture it's smooth is it's an elegant you know you know what else is smooth you know what else is elegant you know what else is

giving breakfast all right and you know what in breakfast is nutritious it builds that body up to kick back to kick out to pop out to duck walk it's our topic today all right our topic today is oatmeal versus grits I'll say this I want to listen to take a moment to decide what side they're. Play the music! Okay we're back. So I know that some of you chose Grits and then some of you are wrong. Josh, first of all, the fact that you think that oatmeal is smooth? Oatmill is a cobblestone street in a bowl. Okay, okay. Oatmeal ain't smooth? If you, if you, if you want to bring up.

Are you, are you trying to bring up the bad oatmeal, are you trying to bring up the bad oatmeals, okay? Are you trying to bring up the bad water to oatmeal mix, water to oats mix, the non-steel cut mix, or are you talking about all oatmeal to begin with? Listen, one, I don't understand why we need steel to cut these oats. How much of these oats pushing back? Where you have to tell me that these oats are steel cut, what else are we cutting oats? What is the difference?

What is the difference? What is the significance? Mm-hmm. I'm a steel cut oat. Okay. You can't cut this, you can't cut this, oh, what iron or aluminum? It's got to be steel? Mm-hmm. Should probably be steel, you know?

What's a whole, like, I what the plant look like? I know what grits come from corn. Mm-hmm. What do oats look like? Show me oats. They look like if you're in a cornfield and you're walking past the lower like the the plants that don't go as high, you know like you're running your fingers through some wheat It looks kind of like that. Oh, I just learned something interesting. Hmm. So you know Avino has like oatmeal, like oatmeal?

Mm-hmm. The reason, so it looks like the name of oats is Avina Sotiva. Yeah. That must be why they're the name of the to. See how did we figure out out th. th. th. th. thi th. th. thiii? th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It looks, thi. It looks, thi. It looks, thi. It looks, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It looks. It's like, thi. It's like, th must be why they call the lotion of Vino. I don't know. I never I never thought about until just now. See how did we figure out we were supposed to eat this? You give stuff a try, you know, you be a pioneer, okay? First of all, that's that's one of the reasons why we're not discovering new foods now is because like I said before, like I've said in previous podcast, all right, this is, I'm gonna take tak... th, th, th, you you you you th. th. to to th. th. th. that, that, that, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that thi. thi, thi, th take a step back for a second need to take a quick break okay for the men all right for my men you need to keep being pioneers you need to keep eating stuff that you don't know if you should be eating it you need to keep putting stuff in your mouth to see if it has nutritional value all right hey hey we're counting on you

because oats different where did that come from? It came from pioneers, it came from bravery. Fortune favors the bold. I'll tell you this. Uh-huh. You know what, you know, you said putting things in men-mouth, nutritional, you know what I'm going to say. Let's jump ahead. You know what I know what I'm gonna do you know what I'm gonna do okay I see I see how you are I see okay because I'm try to give fellowship to employ leadership to these men out here to motivate you know that have lost their way oh no there's so. Listen, I can tell you this. We're asking men to be vulnerable, yes? Sure.

It's your face. They have to adjust how they're going, they have to decide how they're going to do it. To be vulnerable? Yes, because sometimes they can be vulnerable. It's just humans in general Because I know this is a new thing for men because like I was talking to this guy yesterday He was like well, you know the world is set up for women to be able to vulnerable and cry I was like, but y'all did that

Women aren't telling men they can't cry men they can't cry men are telling men they can't try Men set all of this up and if we would let men be vulnerable maybe they will stop murdering us. So shout out to... I mean are you ready for me to be vulnerable about oats. Hold on we need to say who recommended this though because it actually was from a listener. Oh yeah yeah you're right. It was a listener. Uh yeah yeah you're right you right. It was a listener. Kaya Carter I believe gave us a very nice DM. I do need to respond to Kaya. Thank you friend.

Oatmeal versus Grits is a great topic. Because it said oatmeal versus grit slash cream of wheat which makes me think that you think that If you do oatmeal versus grit slash cream and wheat it makes me think that one your choice is oatmeal And you feel like cream of wheat are equivalent because what we could do is a three-man snack down And I can tell you how oatmeal and cream of wheat are trash I'm not even gonna make you take on cream of wheat right now because I'm passionate about oatmeal. I like grits too. Because you don't like cream of wheat either because nobody wants to eat wet cardboard. Yeah, I mean, I don't even know if I've had cream of wheat, to be honest

with you. Because you're not a Yankee. I guess I also just I don't even know if I'd recognize it. I know my mom I've never ordered it So I don't know where you order like I think my mother bought it one time I did see in the store recently cream of rice Was it good or you just saw it you just I'm not a baby? I'm not a baby? I again just throwing out questions, you know just asking things? I did think about it, but and I was like what? What? What I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the the the the the the the the. I throwing out questions, you know, just asking things. I did think about it, but I was like, what would I eat this with? Mmm. Because cream and rice seems like something you give to a baby. First of all, all this feels like baby food.

Yeah, well, I think oatmeal would be the course to give you a baby. Yeah, look, most of it is, yeah, grits is, the only one that's last the entire plate of life. You have to eat? Like breakfast, grits, you know. But oatmeal seems like its own thing. Yes, oatmeal seems like its own thing. Oatmeal is breakfast or cookies? You can't put grits on the side of the plate.

You can't put oatmeal on the side of a plate, you know, with a little... because you've had your breakfasts, eggs, gr. gr. gr. gr. gr. gr., gr., gr., gr., gr., gr. G, grits, gr. G, grits, grits, grits, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, gr..... gr. grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, breakfast, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, grits, gr you put grits on the side of the plate you can't put oatmeal on the side of a plate you know with a little because you've had your breakfast eggs baking a little bit of grits you can't put a little bit of oatmeal people be like so did you throw up on my plate? What happened? Are we fighting? What are we doing? Is this an attack? This is the oatmeal oatmeal it's oatmeal, it's one of those things where it's like, grits is, because this why I, that's why I fucks with grits heavy. One, grits can be breakfast, lunch, dinner brunch. Grits, grits. Mm-hmm.

You can have your breakfast, grits. You know, you've all had fish and grits? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did you say fish and grits? Yeah. I've never had fish and grits at the same time. And you get shrimp and grits? Yeah. Same concept. I know it's the same concept. I just didn't know people were doing like whole, like blackened catfish or whatever with grits. You just just fried fish. Yeah, I didn't know that. But the shrimp and grits, hey, they don't do them anymore. This was, oh, this is like heartbreaking. I remember the first time I went there, they don't do them anymore.

They had a shrimp and grits place in Brooklyn. That was so good, it was so wild. And then they, yeah, it was seasoned well. They had a little bit of a, I, I, I, I, what was called, but there was a there was a a dash of a little type of oil in it That also gave it a great flavor gave the shrimp a great flavor and then you mix in and gets in the grits. I think it was too much flavor for It was probably too much flavor for people because I remember I had and I was like, oh, I'm home. Like, there's it was too???? It was. It was too. It was too. It was too? It was too? It was too? It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was too. It was th. It was th. It was. It was. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a there. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a too. It was a too. It was a too. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was probably too much flavor for people. Because I remember I had and I was like, oh, I'm home. You know what I mean? Like, there's just a moment where you're like, oh, it was too much flavor. And to be fair, they did have other things of the restaurant and those other things were just okay. This was the one thing that someone in the kitchen was doing like fire and then.

Oh, so it's something was too too thi else didn't have enough. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. But I guess this is my thing. I see all the points that you're making so far for grits with the timing and I agree and I'll raise you though that oatmeal comes through with more variety. Okay, there's cinnamon oatmeal. There's, uh, what you would call it? What's we call it? oatmeal there's there's apple cinnamon oatmeal there's a What you would call it? What's we're calling? Blueberry raisins strawberry? Exactly yes, yes, yes.

Oat meal is, oatmeal is coming in with all the fruits like a pancake. You can only put you can put fruit in oatmeal yes fruit. Little cream, little butter. Right. Now because I'm a good Christian woman, I don't eat grit sweet. Do people do that? Do people do that? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? the? the the the the the the the the the the the th? the the the the th? th? th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the? I'm a good Christian woman. I don't need grit sweet Do people do that a lot of people do that? I did not know that at all? Really? Oh my god. Have you not been on the internet? There was a big debate like during like like not like lockdown but like like? thi li like, like, not like like? the the the the the the the the the the the the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theatory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like the fall of 2020 where it was just like, yeah. Technically we can be outside. Yeah, but do you want to be? But you can't be outside.

Everything was no closed. Also, only your sickest friends are calling you. Right. Only your friends with a constant cough are the ones like, hey, you all want to hang out on Tuesday. No, go home. Stay home. Yeah. So it was a thing online where people were just like talking about like doing grits with sugar, grits with salt, savory grits and sweet grits. Saver grits. I don't believe in sweet grits. Because I wasn't raised that way. My mama was raised that way. You see what I'm saying? Maybe my grandma would to st stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the to stay. Yeah, to stay. Yeah, stay. Yeah, stay. Stay. Yeah, stay home. Yeah, stay home. Yeah, stay home. Stay. Yeah. Stay. Stay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the't raised that way. My mama wasn't raised that way. You see what I'm saying? Maybe my grandma would do it.

I don't know, but I've never seen Bula put sugar in grits. Sugar was always a savory situation. It was always something because it could be had with, you know, your sausage egg and cheese, right? My brother never liked eggs. When he was a little kid, he didn't like them. And my, and like him. And my mother would try to sneak eggs in his grits and you just, you know, you won't get meat lady. She's just try to sneak as a couple, you know, some more protein

for the young man. Yeah. But yes, sweet grids. It's a debate in our community. I don't know how you haven't heard about it. It's it's like one of those it was in the lines of like the Washing your legs conversation. We were having with the uh So with the and now the only thing the sweetest thing I've seen it with grits is people who put a little bit catch up on their grits Wait, who the? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Flag on the mother fucking play. You never seen that? No? No? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? There's? T the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the washing? W. the washing? W. the washing? W. the washing? W. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? W. There's? Was their their their their their wa their wa- their wa- Washing. their wa- Washing. their wa- Washing. Was their wa- their wa- their wa- their their? Was? Was Flag on the motherfuckin' play. You've never seen that? No! There's people in the world that put a little bit of a... I mean, I know ketchup and hot sauce not the same thing, but they might put a little

bit on their grits. Hot sauce makes sense. No ketchup. When it comes to grits, I have had good grits, I have a terrible grits, and I've also had polenta that someone tried to sell me as food. And that, and that, yeah, tell your chef to come outside. Yeah, yeah, it's fraud. Food fraud. Outside. Food fraud. Outside. Ponzi scheme.

Fraudulently. Food gazing. Unnecessary. You understand? I'm a good person. Okay? I try to write by people. Mm-hmm. And you put on your menu. Mm-hmm. It's my fault I am in Cleveland, okay? It's also another W for oatmeal. No, it's not. Because, yeah, it is. Yeah, it's not. It is. Trust me.

Because I have seen restaurant oatmeal. Uh-huh. The thing my oatmeal is that, the texture is never good. Never. Now if you're somebody who don't know that when you cook your grits, you're supposed to put butter and milk in it, and you out here with these water-only grits, I can't do nothing for you, you have to save yourself. Yeah, yeah, a lot of grits out there looking like a membrane.

Listen, not a membrane. Yeah, yeah, like a loose., like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're you, if you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you. you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. If you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you're you, if you're you, if you're you, if you're you're th, if you're th, if you're th, if you're th, if you're th, if you're not th-a, if you're not th you're thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' their the are looking like a membrane. Listen, not a membrane. Yeah, yeah, like a loose like wow. Grits with just water, like loose water only grits, yeah. Because if your grits don't solidify when they get cold, mm-hmm. So even cold your grits are moving? No. Even cold your grits are moving and you're learning so much about biology. You know, the whole biology lessons in the pot. Listen, I did have somebody ask because, one, I found out that technically, grits, oatmeal, cream of wheat, are porridge.

Okay. And technically, when they were talking about that please sir can I have some more. Mm-hmm. He was talking about oatmeal. Yeah see he want more oatmeal he needed that sustenance. Because he was poor Josh. Yes he was in a children's home. He needed to have a future. And oatmeal was gonna get him there. He needed something to help him pick them pockets. A single grit? wouldn't have fed the poor boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. oatmeal was going to get him there. All right. Grits? A single grit? Wouldn't have fed the poor boy. He needed some more oatmeal. A single oat? A single oat is bigger than a grit. An oat? A single oat is bigger than one grit. A oat. A oat? A oat is bigger than one grit. One oat. I'll take oat all day. Just because of the size? The size, the fiber. A. A the fiber. A the fiber. A the fiber. A the fiber. A the fiber. A the fiber. A the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the grit. A. A. A the grit. A. A th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A th. A. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. Grit. A th. Grit.'ll take oat all day. Just because of the size?

The size, the fiber. So you're saying the grits, like we're saying oatmeal of our versatile because you could put fruit in it. This is the thing. You can't do savory oatmeal. Mm-hmm. Who is doing savory oatmeal? I feel like someone in England is doing. Probably, and I'm not even going to vouch for it. I don't, I the the size, I the size, I the size, I the size, I the size, I the size, I th, I don't, I th, I th, I th, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the size, the size, the size, the size, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,. Probably, yeah, yeah, probably and I'm not even gonna vouch for it. I don't know it, I don't know it's out there, but I'm not gonna say that that is great

I haven't had it so I can't say when you know when Haggis is made oatmeal oatmeal is the binder I found that out when I went to Scotland. I just realized I wanted a date when I went to Scotland. I was gonna to that that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that that that th. I that th. I that th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th tho th tho th th tho th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho thou tho the thou to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thou tho thou tho tho tho tho tho tho. I found that out when I went to Scotland. I just realized I wanted a date when I went to Scotland. The first time. Yeah. Yeah, but then I found out he just wanted to, he wanted to talk to me. I keep getting tr- I've been tricked by more than one white boy who is acting like they want to go on a date. But then when you get on the date, they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho to to to to tho to to tho tho to to to to to thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I to the. I the. Ithey want to go on a date, but then when you get on the date they just want to ask me about comedy I'm like oh, I see yeah, yeah Yeah, you bitch that definitely I could see it I didn't see you I could see you I could see you I could see you I could see you like you're like.

Oh, oh. Okay. All right. All right. Well played. Well played. Well played. You always had to be a trial. You did it.

You did. You did. You sell a bitch. You trick me. You really tricked me. I'm getting two desserts. Honestly, I might get two entrees. Okay Okay and I might slide one off the table. As soon as they bring I'm a look at the server I'll be like thank you slide and they look at you and be like clean it up. Listen like a cat knocking something off a mantle just

mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What are you doing? So you always want to learn about... You're always curious about comedy? Hmm. Sometimes they mention it's about comedy, you slid it, but not all the way is a quarter off the table.

You're like, and what about a career? You're like, oh, a career in finance, you slide the plate back on. But my friends say I'm the funniest and I should go to an open mic. But I don't think I'm really going to do it. There you go. Wow. But it did sound it for a comedy class. Shhh. You know oatmeal I have all these add-ins you're just talking about fruit okay Mmm if hold on Mm-hmm. Great can be there's people that put sugar in grits. I've tried it I didn't like it because that's not how my mouth is set up right? Okay, but there are a lot of people that do put sugar in grits

Mm-hmm. I've had jelly get close to some grits and tried it reluctantly Didn't hate it never do it a fuck again, but you see you say sweet and savory and savory Okay, oatmeal It's really only sweet, but you see you say sweet and savory for grits, but you also, outside of putting a little cinnamon in it, what are people doing it to make it sweet? Sugar, legitimately sugar. Just putting straight sugar? Yes.

But by that logic, anything can be sweet. I just tell you, how do you make something sweet? Because it's like if you don't put, like oatmeal, if you don't put sugar in oatmeal. No I know, I know, I'm saying that oatmeal goes well with these fruits that are added on. Like that's a nice pairing. Whereas with grits, if they don't, if it doesn't go well with anything sweet and you just got to put sugar in it, now I've never heard of anybody putting fruit and grits. Which they shouldn't, don't go to be wrong. I'm not making suggestions. I'm just saying it's the distinct difference

between the two. You know, grits have an overall advantage when it comes to time. Like I said earlier, breakfast, lunch dinner. I think oatmeal swings it with pairing, with the pairability of other things that only enhances the experience of the oatmeal. Only a breakfast food. No, I know, but within breakfast I'm saying it has more. Yeah, but there's so many fruits. Right, but if you're not putting watermelon and oatmeal. Not putting watermelon, but there's so many fruits, but if you're not putting watermelon and oatmeal Not putting watermelon, but there's so many fruits they goes well with it goes well with berries Mm-hmm or whatever the fuck apples are You were sounded so right until you said that last thing that wow. I wish we had points so I could get

red deducted. That's that's wild. Apples and pairs because they're not a stone fruit. Yeah yeah. I'm like you. So peaches like nectarines, plums, but like a peach I've had like peach-flavored oatmeal and berry flavors and yeah what kind of fruit is an apple like what's the classification of apple and a pair is it a tree fruit fruit Well we both said that so that's what makes it okay. It's called a palm fruit. Oh, okay. P-O-M-E. Now listen, you can't make fun of me, okay? Because it says palm fruits are members of the plant family and it's spelled R-O-S-A-C-E-A-E

I know it's not rosacea I'm fully aware of that. That's that is funny though That's very funny because when you say when you spell something yeah when sometimes someone's spell something for you if you don't already know the word they're spelling you have to put it together in real type so I was also like? There's no way. There's no way. T, that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's that. There's th, that. It's no way, that. It's no way, that's no way, that's no way, that's no, that's that's that's that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that's that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. th. th. th don't already know the word they're spelling, you have to put it together in real type. So I was also like, there's no way that's rosacea. Any fruit that can be dehydrated is normally dehydrated and they can be thrown in with a dry mix of a of a oatmeal will go well with the oatmeal and I think that's a lot more fruits than when they dehydrate things and put them in grits is just different types of cheeses and butter. Yeah yeah and there look there are a lot of cheeses that go well with grits that people don't even try you know you put cheese cheese in oatmeal. Are you so is this what I'm just asking okay. I'm just asking okay. I'm just asking you said ketchup on bricks. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but that that's that one

maniac yeah clearly anybody could do whatever they want it. Can you put cheese on oatmeal it's like not if you're saying but who why not? I mean, they use it to make haggis. And this guy has this haggis sandwich. I'm sure there's someone in the UK that's putting cheese on their, on their oats. I mean, we're putting cheese on ramen now, so I don't know. Is that real? Yes. Cheasy, savory oatmeal. Rondack soup.

If you saw a recipe, I guess people are doing it. Some fucker nending. Question answered. Ha! Ham, egg and cheese oatmeal. I'm just, I'm not here for it. So help me out besides fish. What other food pairings would you say that grits go with?

You can do fish, you can do shrimp. I've had it with like a savory crab, creamy. So mostly seafood, right? Well you can do, no, because for breakfast, you're doing all your breakfast meats, your bacon's, your hams, your sausages. Yeah, yeah. I bet you could do country-fired steak and grits. I bet that be good. Country-five steak and grits? Yeah, I've never had that.

Ooh, we might have to have that. Together, that's, that, that does sound like a good pairing. To go back, Grits are inherently poor people food food food. Okay. And very much originally, you know, I, you know, I guess the real food history of it, I think it might have been a food that was like enslaved people. So when you make cornmeal, grits is what they would throw away when they make cornmeal.

It's the part they didn't grind all the way down. And so you take that and that's why you have to boil it to make it edible. Because it's literally the, it's like almost like a tiny, what's the best way? I guess like a little, like a, because you see when you cook corn that little pebbley kind of thing that's inside a piece of corn when you cook corn, that's crazy. And you just get a bunch of those together, and then your belly is full.

But I can say that I realize that for me, I am not a wheat person. Okay. I mean rice and a corn. And I think you have to know that about yourself. I think you have to know. I think you have this, uh, that's that, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that, that, th. that, that that thi thin, that that's thi thin, thi thi thin, that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that Because like so many people have this, I know it called Ciliacs, but one of my... Oh yeah, yeah. I know people that have... Yeah. A girl, an acquaintance of mine, she has it and I call it. Can you not have grits if you have Ciliax? You can? You can, you can,

because it's more. Oh, okay. Gosh, for a second I was confused. Now I'd be like oh you got the similex disease and she's like yeah and I was like what? You can hear what I just said but um also look you know the grits nutrition facts oh I think mmm when I looked them up I was a little unimpressed, you know, oatmeal's bringing you iron. All right. Iron and corn? There's very little iron in grits, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. What does it? You know, sometimes, and I love that we do this because it it lets you know when something is a bit inferior to something else. Grits, not coming through with any vitamin C, any calcium, any vitamin D, very little B6, very little magnesium. You know, it really is just there to, like you said, sort of keep the belly full and move on.

You really need to pair something else, Grits, you know, so that you get some nutrients in, because I think, I've given credit to Grits for its versatility in meals, and now I'm realizing it's a hanger on, okay? It's a leech, okay? It's a social climber, it's what it is. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, oatmeal is out here being in its own bowl standing on its own two oats. Okay, now let me see something. Let's say, okay, why do Southerners eat grits? Grits are an iconic Southern dish. It dates back as far as the 16th century. They were originally made by drying corn kernels and boiling them to create a mush.

That's still how grits the gr grits the grits the grits are the the the the the the the the the the the the grits are the the the the the the the the the their. their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. Wow. thoom. their their their their their their their their their their their their their the o. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tho. It's thooooooooooooooooooooooooate. It's. It's o'. It's o'. It's othem to create a mush. That's still how grits are made. Grits were introduced into Southern cooking when the Native, okay, there's a way that we talk about Native Americans that I always think is weird. We always wouldn't identify in front of it. When the Native Americans, it was when Native Americans, it's with the Native Americans. You see what I'm saying? I think that's because that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi that's thi thi thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Gri. Grits when Native Americans, it's the Native American, you see what I'm saying? I think that's because if you say Native Americans, this is like, this is just like, I think a semantics thing, but once people from England started being born here, they were also native to America.

That's why when you're distinguishing you need to say the Native Americans so that we can distinguish people because we're natives like we were born here you know as it like as African-Americans. Is that why people started using the term indigenous? I think so yeah I think so because technically anybody born somewhere is native to that place. So just so there was no confusion, we weren't like, you know, the Native Americans as in anyone who was born here. It's like, no, the natives. Right, the original people of this land.

Got it. Just wondering, just trying to learn. In new, the Native Americans served grits to Sir Walter Raleigh's men and the subsequent Jamestowne-Colan-in-in-in-in-o-o-o-o-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, tho-s, thoome-nosed-nosed-nosed-nosed-soomed-nosed-nosed-nosed-soa-soa-nosed-nosed-nosed-nosed-nosed-nosed-nosed-n, th Native Americans served Grits to Sir Walter Raleigh's men and the subsequent Jamestown colonists. So Grits came from the Native Americans and then I guess white people started eating them and then black people went, hey, hey, hey, we got it. I think in, yeah, I think in slavery that was exactly the way you described it is what happened, like past the way you described it is what happened past the initial Native Americans making a version of it and then we made a

version of it. Because corn wasn't it was indigenous to the new world. So we didn't know about corn. Yeah. It was a new plant they was munching on. It's like hey hey, what's y'all munching on? What's this's this we we got wheat and oats and some shit called amaranth spelt what's that what y'all crunching on you know I think I think I'm confident but you can't be what I'm talk be. What are you talking about? No, about oatmeal? Yes about oatmeal. I'm very confident about oatmeal. Yes. Yes. For what? Because of fruit? Because of fruit? It's more nutritious. It's coming through with B6. It's coming through with iron, fiber, things needing your diet. I can eat grits and eat a vitamin it be fucking fine. What I'm fine. It's coming through with iron, fiber, things you need in your diet. I can eat grits and eat a vitamin. It'd be fucking fine. What I'm saying is, you'd have to

put a vitamin in your grits to have a vitamin. Just remember that. Don't be like, ooh, I'm having my grits, you have your oatmeal. Make sure you drop a couple B6 vitamins in there while you're at it. Get a multivitamin. We really to thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho th the tho tho tho tho tho th. M. M. M. M. M food th. M food thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th. M food th. M th. M th. M th. M th. M food th. M th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the thea theat theat to theat theat theat theat theat theat theat thea amin really trying to make a life together. What I'm saying is grits are more versatile. You compare them with meats, you compare them with veggies, you know, you ever have like, because my homeboy was making breakfast, you know Papa, he was making breakfast, that's great we love Papa. And he made grits and he'll make like white gravy from scratch which I'd never seen anybody, Even my mom may never make white gravy from scratch. I've never seen that in my life. Yeah. And so he made up some like brussel sprouts or whatever because he's like well we got to have a little veggie with breakfast. I'm like I think we're eating brunch now. Um but grits with a little like grits with eggs and some sausage with some like brussle sprouts. That's a good brunchy meal, right? They got my vitamins, okay, got my minerales.

But I think that you can have or you could take that same meal, you can take off the bacon and the eggs and you could put down some shrimpies. Or you could put down, you know, macro fritters or salmon or anything, you know, rich, you can flip in it. Like you said, oatmeal don't get served on the side. Yeah. Oatmeal ain't getting added to nothing. I'm not out here trying to try save your oatmeal if you really want to know what's happening. Are you really, or do you want to try?

Do you want to try? Savory oatmeal. Do you want to see if you could put cheese and bacon and eggs? Look. Oh, I. How about this. How about this? This. We'll continue to bless you and smile they down on their faces. How about this? I will try savory oatmeal before I would try sweet grits. That's legitimate. You're good man. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. I just think that you know you talk about versatility and I'm not seeing it.

I'm not seeing it. I'm saying so you don't want to put because to make anything because to make oatmeal sweet you have to put sugar in it. No I know but I'm saying I'm saying when we talk about nutrition alone. Okay nutrition fine. There might not be as much of the of anything. Yeah of the things. There are some stuff. Yeah you right that's the right word to use for it there's some stuff there's somes. There are some stuffs and grits. There's some stuff. Yeah, you're right. That's the right word to use for it. There's some stuff. There's some general junk you can digest eventually. What in the hell? Yeah, yeah, and once you've added butter and you've boiled some milk, I'm with you. Yeah, hey, you have to add butter in a fucking oatmeal too? No, not really. Butter? Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I I the the the the the the the th, I the the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, thi. thin, things, things things things things things. things things, things, things, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to add butter to a fucking oatmeal too? No, not really. Butter?

Yes. No, no, no, no. Okay, so grits. It's got protein, it's got carbohydrates, fiber. There's no sugar in grits. Let's see. I'm with you, but I'm saying how much of those things does it have? There is iron and grits, you jerk! There's iron? Yeah, two percent of the iron you need a day.

Magnesium? Yeah, you might as well bite a piece of metal to get more than you're get from grits. Mm-hmm. You're just saying things that have trace amounts in there. Who's trace? Trace amounts in there Ha ha ha ha ha! I said it in the in the beginning of the episode I say again brothers out there men my okay I love for your always guy than a man you want strong bones no no I'll talk I'll talk to the women too I'm just saying you know is these men out here that need guidance that's true okay so I'm saying my man listen open your ears harder I know you think you listen open them wide okay get them so open the air pod slip out a little bit o'clock to the thir to the the the the the th. the the th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho the the the the tho to the to tho. to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. the tho. the tho. the the the the tho. the the the the tho. tho. the tho. to to to to to to to to to to to them wide, okay? Get them so open the

air pod slip out a little bit, okay? Open your ears and listen to me. Get that oatmeal in. Okay, get your iron in. Get your iron in. Get your iron in. Get your iron in. Use that fiber. And then send me a picture of your body. What? That fiber? That fiber? Be honest, men. How ever you can go into the bathroom?

You going? They need to drink more water too. Yeah, drink your water, all right? That's why we dying out here, no fiber. Okay? Stay fibrous. Stay healthy. Not fibrous.

Stay manly. Wow. Okay. And, you know, my thoughts are with you. What? Yeah, yeah, you know, be thinking about you. All right. One.

A lot of us aren't eating breakfast. Yeah, a lot of us aren't eating breakfast. Yeah, a lot of us are skipping breakfast, that's fair. And we need to be eating breakfast. There's one thing my nutrition has said me is like you have to, if you want to do anything, if your body wants to be right, if you want, you know, if you're trying to, just improve your health overall, right? Yeah. But also, say you get very tired

during the day, like I would be waking up at 9, I wouldn't eat until 1 p.m. my nutrition is like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah. Your body is in starvation mode all the time, right? Mm-hmm. So we got to start eating breakfast more, you've got to start drinking more water, I'm sorry but we do. We do. We do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, th, th, th, th, th, their, thi, their, their, thi, their, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, just just just just, thi.e. thi. thi.e. thi. thi. thi. thii. thi. thi. thi. th doctors tell me it's like a lot of stuff that people have issues with if they would just drink more water and they could just flush stuff out of their body. You can just sit in your liver or just sit in your kidneys or just sit in your colon. Water, water, water. So we gotta start eating breakfast.

We got to start. Remember the flush, yes. Remember flush. You know, be your own handle to your own plumbing. Mm-hmm. Also, we have to remember that. Grits came from, in oppressed people. What are you doing? What are you doing right now? Dricks came for people minding their own business and then the white man shoulder And what did he bring with him?

Do you? Will you? What did he bring Josh? What did you... What did he bring, Josh? What do you... I don't think these are facts? No, no, don't, don't put that on me. That's not, there's no way... Brought oatmeal, that's what happened. The hot thing.

I think, oats grew here. Don't do that. That, that's what happened. The hot thing. I think I think oats grew here. Don't do that that that just they were here Corn wasn't over there. How was oats over here? Because a place can have its own things. The place can have its own foods. Is oatmeal indigenous to North America? How was oatmeal going to be a di- The, it's just oats. Did oats grow here already. Corn didn't grow in, tomatoes didn't grow in Europe.

Pumpkin didn't grow in Europe. They, listen, if it wasn't for Marco Polo and... Yeah, but wheat isn't corn. That's what I'm saying. Think about it. If it wasn't for Marco Polo in Columbus, there would be no pasta. You see what I'm saying. Think about it. If it wasn't for Marco Polo in Columbus, there would be no pasta. You see what I'm saying? There would be no tomato sauce. There'd be no pasta. So the whole rest of the world didn't have corn.

And since the white folks hopped on a boat and brought their happy asses over here. So some plants don't grow everywhere. I don't even think eggplant grew in Europe. So I don't know what they were eating before, if somebody's still the ocean blue. All I'm saying is that the white man brought oatmeal. And what I'm not going to do is promote the white man's grains. I'm not doing it. Not doing it. Okay. We've been to too much Joshua. I think I think you're taking some real liberties here. And justice for all, okay? Thank you all so much for listening.

No, no, no, no, no, don't do that. Because we also have to do a shout out, another quick shout out to our friend who wrote in and gave us this suggestion. What was the handle on that one? This is Key underscore Carter. Well, I'm just here to help, Josh. I'm here to help. Yeah, yeah, I'm very helpful. We're gonna kick it to you the listener.

Kagan to the listener. Do you like oatmeal? Do you put up with grits? Do you enjoy having grains at all? And I will ask you, do you, as a listener, eat the white man's porch? Or do you enjoy the versatility that is the grit. I was trying to help people be blessed you know what I mean I just want folks to know all of the facts information okay you if you're looking to catch up with us in any other form you can find us on social you know I'm at Josh Hots comedy on Tick-Tock and Instagram

also on YouTube and then you can also check out my other podcast to Josh Johnson show. We also record and and post every Thursday where you listen to podcast if you are looking for Dulce Sloan you can catch me in the mall with your daddy or Or, it's so fun to say. What it making a tire say is somebody called Rianna I'm a Boston drawers with them? Yes, I'm in here. I'm out here in the mall with your fucking daddy. What are you making a sign say is somebody called Riana and I'm a boss and draws with them? Yes, I'm in here. I'm in here. I'm out here in the mall with your motherfucking daddy. Or you can catch me on the interwebs, you catch me on Al Gore's internet, you know, Dick Cheney's Arch Nemesis. I got shows coming up, we're on the road,

we're not on the road together. Listen, if y'all want us to do this goofy shit life Tell us and we would love to come to your city Hang out with your pop-all And just see if he can take me to a rainbow in your local I didn't say tory your dad can take me to a rainbow really okay with it Don't tell your mom be cool um, but yeah, so if you want us to do this shit live, you know, and you maybe get submitted topic tell us tell us for real go in the comments on any of the socials and be like, hey, Joshua, those things long. Come to my city with this nonsense and maybe, maybe we should start, should we start having guests?

You know, we might be able to bring somebody in, in season two, can probably bring someone in in the last, like five to 10 minutes to really digest what's been done. That's the only way I can put it. I was talking about I digest everything just fine. All right well fine fine fine it's fine just braided your face it's fine it's fine. It's fine. There's a brain of your face? It's fine. Listen if you want to us, look up for me and Josh and my shows, look up Josh's shows and look for my shows and just really, we're thank you so much for all of the love and support that y'all have shown us. Because listen, we didn't think anybody, I didn't think anybody was going to listen to me and Josh's have silly ass conversations about, you big topic big opinions about small things but apparently y'all

like it so if you want us to have a second season we would love to have a second season message somebody yeah comments yeah so let us know so let us know if you're gonna be coming to a show if you want to get tickets or anything like that, at the Daily Show.com, backslash, Josh Johnson, the Daily Show. that's one of the best ways to get a hold of everything that is us, and those links will be in the episode. Thank you all so much for real. We love you. Y'al-la-la-la-la-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a-da-da-s. Explore more shows from The Daily Show from The Daily Show the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes.