The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Online vs. In-Store Shopping | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: March 19, 2023

“If I'm on the internet, I'm not going to see these little impulse buys. I'm not going to see this pack of gum at the register. There's no pack of gum at the register in an online store.” - Dulcé Sloan   “An online store will tell you up top - the thing you want, we ain't got any. The one you like, it's not here. We'll send you an email when it gets here, but for today, don't waste your time." - Josh Johnson   It’s online vs. In-store shopping this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.     Hold Up  is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. What's up here's edition, listener? It's Josh Johnson, writer for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original Daily Show podcast, Hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show correspondent, Dulcey Sloan. It's where we take our office banter into a weekly war words about topics big and small. In this episode, we debate online versus in store shopping. We chat about which one we thierier thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thi thi thi thi thi is is thi thi is their thi's thi's thi's their thi's to their to to their to to to to shopping. We chat about which one we think is a better shopping experience, which one is better

customer service, and where we're likely to spend our money. Tune in to find out which side of the debate we each land on. And if you like the show, check out the Holdup podcast, wherever you get your podcast. Hey everybody, welcome to Hold Up. I'm Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for the Daily Show and I'm joined by my co-host. The fact, the legend, the menace, don't say slum. I don't know what fact meant, but it felt right. The fact that you said the fact.

The facts, do I say slow. You have to keep it now. I'm information. Joshua, now you are a writer on the Daily Show. I'm a correspondent, but I didn't want to say you happy new year, Negro. Oh yeah, happy new year. Happy new year. Now listen, one of my friend was like, oh this year should be great because it's our Jordan year. What fuck does that mean? I guess that was his number? It was his number, but a lot of...

There have been a lot of athletes in the history of sport that have not done well with the number 23. I understand it is going to be some people's Jordan year, but you can't tell me anyone that's ever put on the number 23 jersey for football, for you know, basketball. Well, you know, these, oh, everyone, people turned 33, they're like, oh, it's your Jesus year. Jesus died and came back on the third day. That's why we have a whole religion. And so, they're like, oh, it's your Jesus year, I don't think anything happened. Nah, it was a pretty big year for him, but yeah, I don't think it means something has to happen for every person.

Yeah. Like, I don't even remember what year that was when I was 33. So nothing could have happened because... I don't remember... I don't remember when I didto you yeah yeah like I don't remember when I did it yeah 2016 oh 2016 well 2016 is when I moved to LA and I was really doing stand up full-time so I guess it did do a thing hey you are really out here living that full Jesus year I was reborn you know what I mean

because I stopped into a different lifestyle truly because I was you know I was reborn, you know what I mean? Because I stopped into a different lifestyle. Truly, because I was you know I was able to stop selling stucco, stop doing bilingual customer service, if you motherfuckers email me again. I remember one day in what I was taking a nap and I got a call from this woman and she's called from a temp agency. Yeah. Offering me a job. I said, ma'am, I'm not available for this job.

And I tried to hang up the phone and she wouldn't let me. I guess they really needed a bilingual customer service agent. I was like, ma'am, I don't even live in Georgia. I like how you tried to hang up and she's the to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to the, the, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thin, the, the, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, tho and she, the idea that she didn't let you, the idea that you're about to hang up and then she's on the other end, like, I guess you're just gonna let them die then. And then like you're like, wait, what does that mean? What's she was like, because she was getting an attitude with me and that's what I was not understanding? I was not understanding. I don't know how I'm tha, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like th a tha, I was I was tha, I was tha, I was tha, I was tha, I was tha, I was thi, I was thi, I was tha, I was that, I was thathea, I was the the the they thathea, was thathea, I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their thathea, that, I was that, I was that that the that the that the that that the that the that the the that that the of Georgia anymore. Mm-hmm. Was not of a viable answer. So I don't live in Georgia. I'm sorry. Can you take me off your list?

Whatever. She's like, I mean, I just don't understand. And I just went, Google me. And I hear, Google you. I said, mm-hmm. Yeah, we've made a part of the day. Right. Sloan. I don't say Sloan. Oh, oh. Okay, yeah, I see what you mean.

Thank you. She's like, and congratulations about your success. I said, oh, thank you so much. Yeah. You know, you always turned someone into a friend. Right. Or a sworn enemy. Because something came up the other someone into a friend. Right! Or a swore enemy. Because something came up to the other day so comic and he was like, hey, don't say my arch

nemesis and I was like, whoa, whoa, oh, oh, oh, to be your nemesis, I have to know your last name. Which is what an arch nemesis would say though. To be fair, that's an attack. You can't be like I don't the way you you the way you you the way you the way you you the way you you you tho you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said you said. th. th. th. tho. th. tho. th. th. th. tho. the. th. th. to to to to to to to to to me. to to told. told. told. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. To be fair, that's an attack. You can't, you can't be like, I don't know, you will know to be your arch nemesis, that's one thing, but the way you said it was exactly how an arch nemesis would say it. Because I was like, sir, I really don't have it. And then he said something slick and I said, you know what just don't care enough to be his arch-nemesis? Yeah, you know what it feels like, and for the listeners, we're going to get into the episode

in a second, but what, what it feels like, being your friend and watching you move through the world and also watching you tell stories, it feels like when you're telling me the thing, this is now the confessional booth from when the thing happened. But sometimes you'll tell me about a thing and I don't know if you forgot I was there but I saw it happened. So then now you're telling me your frame of mine. You weren't, I wasn't there when you were talking to him, but I've been there before when you've tol tol tol tol tol tol tol tol tol tol told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told me told me about told me told. the they about they. they. they. they. they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told, you were told me told me told me told me told me told me the the they. You're told me told me they. told me they. they you were talking to him, but I've been there before when you've told me about things. And maybe I was in the background or maybe I was at the club and you didn't know. But like, like the way that I'll see the thing happen, but then you tell me later, by the time it's in my head, it's like I'm watching Big Brother. And so you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, you'll be at, the, the, the, the, the, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, or maybe, or, or, or, or, the way, or, or, the way, or, or, or, or, or, the way, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the they. the the the way, like, like, the way, like, the way, the don't try me then you'll tell me about the thing and you'll be like and so what's going through my head in the moment I was like you get the confessional it's it's

the full edit in my head wow talking about selling stucco and you've brought us right into our topic today for For the listeners today we're doing online shopping yes versus in store shopping okay. Hallelujah. And I want to shout out real quick because we got this episode topic from someone on Instagram leaving a comment because when you leave your comments when you when you make your tweets and you hashtag hold up, and when you comment on things under the Daily Shows page that have us on them, we do see them.

And we appreciate all of them. And so we saw this, we thought it'd be a great topic. So shout out to, I'm gonna try to say it right, but it's a handlen. So, so, so, so I to, so I to, so I to, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, to, to, to, to, thr, thr, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. And, th. And, th......... th. th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to. to. to Abchester 92 is where we got this from. 92? Yeah, there must have been 91 other Apchesser's. No, just when they were born, friend. Oh, yep, you right. You right. Maybe we could add that part out.

I'm not looking up that. I remember. I had boobs when this man was born, not a person. Anyway, what side of the argument do you land on? Of course I'm in store shopping. You're in store, okay. All right. This is the thing. I'm still weary about, yes, Amazon has my shit, right? Amazon has my credit card information, but I don't like it. Yeah. I don't like that now every website wants to store your card and a wallet.

Everybody, because like I remember when the internet started. And what people don't realize was what I had a conversation with somebody the internet started. Mm-hmm. And what people don't realize was what I had a conversation with somebody the other day. And I was like, you know the noise that the internet used to make? Yeah, yeah. Internet used to be loud. They put that noise in. Because they didn't believe people would believe if they didn't have any noise.

But my question is why was that? Why did a group of adults sit in a room and decide on those sounds? I think it's because what what ended up happening was they were looking for sounds to make it sound like the computer was doing something, right? And they needed to make people think that computer was putting in work. All right? Right. And those are the most stressed out sounds I've ever heard come out of a machine. So they did, they did right by their endeavor.

When you would get the CD-ROM from AOL and it would go, you have this many hours of internet. Could you imagine now someone's saying to you, you can only be on the internet for 30 hours total? And then you have to buy more. It was a pay-as-you-go internet. We'd live in a better world to be honest with you. If there was a limit, if there was a limit on Twitter, if you could only do Twitter for 20 minutes, ooh, you have to really chill out. Well, remember when Facebook used to stop?

So Facebook in 2005, when I got on Facebook, which is, okay, good God. Good. Jesus above. I got on Facebook in 2005. Do you understand? It's 2023. Before, Facebook, because I think we were talking about this one day, everybody who updated their status, you were friends with, you'd see all of that, and then that was it. And then you were like, okay, I finished Facebook. Oh, so it would stop for you, like, that's then that was it and then you were like okay I finished Facebook. Oh so it would stop for you like it would be like that's all we got. Right so say I'm friends with 200 people yeah only 30 people updated their status. Mm-hmm or many people I knew you'd scroll to the end and it's like and we're done for today.

MySpace is the same thing you would yeah. Fucking I remember being in somebody's top eight to to to to top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top top to to to top to to to to to the to to to to to to th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's thi. that's thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. MySpace is the same thing. You remember fucking how my space worked, but I remember being in somebody's top eight was a big deal. What I'm saying is that, the internet used to be enough. It used to be enough and I remember when you didn't put your real name on the internet. When everybody's email address was Pony Girl, you know, 62. Yeah. Or, you know, Wrestling Maniac, 88? My favorite handle to date is...

I was playing VR and I met this guy playing VR and his handle was Ferrari 69, you know it. Good, Jesus. Something happened. Oh, good Jesus. Could something happen when Gmail came out and all of a sudden all of us had to be professional Yeah, we really had to start having business accounts like business emails Yeah, like no one had a silly like My hot mail account was deuce in a quarter which is my nickname. Yeah my Yahoo.

Account was do say 2000 do say also my nickname and in 2000 because it was literally the year 2000 at Yahoo dot comcom but for some reason when these Gmail email addresses came out we all got really for like everyone started using their real name. Mm-hmm. So me coming from the era of you know black planet myspace college club mehente Asian Avenue all of these silly ass websites. Because MySpace is really just trying to teach us how to code. And so, coming from the era where you didn't use your real name on the internet, and

now, all of my credit card information is just stored by Con Ed, the fuck? No, I don't need Forever 21 to keep my credit card information. I don't need Rainbow clothing stores to have my credit at all times. I remember when it Rainbow, if you were going to pay with a debit card, you had to show them ID. And if the back of your card wasn't signed, they wouldn't take it. Look, you know who already has your credit card information ready to go if you use it enough if you're a loyal customer online stores. That's what I don't like. I understand but if the in-stores are doing it what's the difference? It's I prefer an arm I'll tell you this if I go in a store. Mm-hmm. It is beneficial for stores to me to go in a store because I'm gonna buy more shit if I'm in a store, it is beneficial for stores to me to go in a store because I'm

gonna buy more shit if I'm in a store. For the fact that you've gone in a Target, yeah. You've never gone to a Target and not spent $200. I I disagree, but yeah, yeah, I'm with you. No, I mean, what you got a good job, like when I didn't have the the job I have now, or I could easily walk into a target, get exactly what I was gonna get. Why'd you close one eye? Yeah, I mean, just get exactly wink wink what I was there to get. Yeah, if I came in here for a purse of some cheap ass earrings, I'm getting a purse of some cheap ass earrings. I'm getting a purse to some cheap ass earrings. I'm. the. the. the the. I. I. I. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. I was. th. the th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I was that. I was that. that. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was that that that that that that th. I was that th. I was th. I was th. I was th you th you th you th you th. I was the the the the the that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I was there to get Yeah, if I came in here for a purse of some cheap ass earrings I'm getting a purse of some cheap ass earrings Maybe a snack And I'm gonna fuck up out of here now I'm in target like

Who? What's this? Are they little like cheap ass section with a little? Goofy shit? That dumb shit? Because you need because I need because I'm on the internet? I'm not gonna see these little? I'm? I'm the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the thin. I'm the the thin' I'm their I'm the person I'm the person I'm the person I'm the person I'm the person I'm the person I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm not things I'm not things I'm not things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm things I'm things I. That dumb shit because you need because I need because I need because if I'm on the internet I'm not going to see these little impulse buys I'm not going to see this pack of gum at the register there's no pack of gum at the register in the online store you see what I'm saying? Sure sure I'm with you but my my biggest rebuttal to that is that sometimes you'll the the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. that that thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I'm that's. I'm that's. I'm that's I'm that's I'm that's I'm that's I'm that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's that's that's that's th. I I th. I th thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'm the thi. I'm the thi. I'm the the the th. I'm they. I'm they. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the they. I'm th thi. I'm th thi. I'm thbuttal to that is that sometimes you'll go in the store and they don't have what you want sometimes you will call ahead and ask them specifically if they have what you want and they really don't feel like doing all that walking and so they'll lie and say they have what you want and you

get there and they don't have what you want an online store will tell you up up to the told you. A the o' to. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I will. to to to to the to to their. their. to to their. to their. their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. tell. to told. to told. to told. to told. to to told. to to told. to to to told. their their their their their their the. The one you like, it's not here. And we'll let you know, we'll send you an email when it gets here, but for today, don't waste your time. That's why, that's why you go to the online store, see if they have it and then go to the store. Okay, but this is, and this brings up an interesting point because what you're talking about is a bit of a hybrid situation using everything, the pros of everything, which I am a huge fan of. But if we're talking real, like real debate, okay? Like real dire straits. And there are some stores that don't have an online website, and there are some websites that have no physical location, if you had to choose between the two of those. You know, you. I mean? th. the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and the thi, their, the the the the the the the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, the pros, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, their, their, thi. And, their, thi. And, thi. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their the pros, their their the and there are some websites that have no physical location, if you had to choose between the two of those. You know what I mean? I feel like we'd still land where we're at. I'm picking this zone I could walk in because one, one, if you are a business that

does not have a website, where you interact with people. Fuck are you doing? What are you doing? When I see restaurants that don't have websites, I'm like, why? I mean, maybe they don't deliver. But Matt Richards did say something to be interesting the other day. You've never seen a Chinese food restaurant commercial. Yeah, no, because people know. People know to come through and they know when to come through. Because McDonald's is like commercials for years.

Yeah, but McDonald's is trying to sell you on something that's not as timeless as Chinese food. Channel da da da, they need a gimmick. Because Chinese food, what they do so well is that a bunch of places, over the whole of our lives, as long as we've been eating Chinese food, we know that for every Chinese restaurant out there, there are some staples that they will have. And so there's a shared language there that even though all of Chinese food is very different and all of the different restaurants are not a chain, we still know generally how to navigate based on having been to several Chinese restaurants. Whereas with McDonald's, McDonald's might come to your country. They might be like, hey, have you ever heard of a Big Mac?

Let me tell you about a Big Mac, you know? Chinese restaurants, they don't need to be like, have you ever heard of chicken? That's not necessary. I'll tell you this. When we all saw the McGrittle, we were like, wow. Wow. Yeah. How do they come up with the technology?

Right? What? The Mick Grittle, it's a pancake with a syrup on the inside. Yeah, and then they put sausage and cheese in the middle and we're like, this is crazy. How did they do this? And then, 2016, I'm in the Beaufort Highway Farmers Market in Buford Highway, Georgia, in Atlanta, and I see this Korean street food. Oh, so they've been jocked Korean street food this entire time.

It's a fucking ploy. Wow. It's the same. If I were Korea, I'd go after them. I'd be like, hey, hey, I'd walk into any McDonald's in America be like, hey, hey, run me my money. Stop the presses, okay? Ha ha ha. Cease and the motherfucking cyst. Stop pressing anything to the grill. Y'all can't afford today, all right? Because I'm suing everything. I still hate putting my credit card information into the internet. I barely like looking at my bank information anywhere. I don't like it. I don't, I've never liked it.

I understand. It's super fucking convenient. It's great. Paypal still freaks me out. I know that they can steal your information, like Target had like. Yeah, Target got got. They had that leak? But they, yeah, they didn't have that leak.

They had that full on spill. That was, it was, it was, it was a Valdez, it was a Valdes. If you don't know what we're talking about about about about about about about about about about about about people's credit card numbers and like a lot of their information got pulled. Every, if you want, if you thought about Target, your information got fucking leaked. Yeah, it was and it was in the, I think the millions of of customers, so everybody, it's really bad. And I think Seymourville had the same thing happen. My question is, I'm always like with these hackersers.. the credit the credit the credit ccccccccicciccicc. Cc. the their cc. Cc. Cc. Cc. C. C. C. their c. their c. their their their their their th. thi c. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi. thi. thir thir thir thir thir th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their th. I thi. I their thi. I the. I the. I the. I'm the. I the. I'm the. I the. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I the. I have the same thing happen. My question is, I'm always like with these hackers instead of stealing credit card information, just hack Sally Mae one time. I guess you could do both.

Because then here's the thing. Do both. I understand you got to get your money. Yeah, yeah. Those the niggers in the mask that get up and it's like anonymous yeah anonymous ain't hacked Sally Mae or the Freddie Mac yet also we talk a lot about Sally Mae but we'll never talk about Freddie Mac and I don't like that I think that what's happening with anonymous is that they are more focused on like global issues and like the like economic issues will quickly get them caught I don't think they'll be as anonymous. Like, if they leak something from WikiLeaks or something like that, if someone says something that on WhatsApp that's like hateful and might lead to the, you know, the persecution

of a bunch of people, they jump in there and they're like, hey, this is this person, by the way, just so you know they did it, and especially if they they they they they they they they they're they're they can't they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like, hey, this is this person by the way just so you know they did it and Especially if they can uncover it. I think that when it comes to the economic stuff Especially like student loan stuff. I think they know that they would get got so fast that they're like we don't need those problems Oh, because there's not enough VPN you can't jump off enough servers? No, no, they're coming straight to to to to to to to to to their? their? their? their. their? they, they, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they. they. they? they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to th. the. they're they're they're to the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. No, no They're coming straight to your mom. America does not play with money No, she never has because I don't which I always thought was interesting because my mother told me anything if you want to change anything in America you fuck with a white man's money Because that's how I come for someone's money. Hey, this is this this we're playing a different game now like if you're playing politics. It's like something nothing. thum. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the. the. the it's like, nothing may come of anything, right? People can talk and talk and talk and talk all day. Like a lot of what, if you look at some of the stuff anonymous has done, a lot of it started as like truly pranks and like things that were sort of taking the piss out

of politicians and stuff. money is, you gotta be real careful. Because America's a business. America's a business first and foremost. Yeah. I think people forget, I think some people when they were in school, they weren't paying attention enough to realize that America is a business, has always been a business. I don't think online shopping could have popped anywhere like it did here, anywhere but here. Like America is so business-oriented, convenience-oriented. I don't think that online shopping would have had the same effect. Because it's like, I know there's times I'm just like, I need to do exit.

And that's not only the online shop. It's like, when you think about like, just Uber eats or something like that. Like the other day day th, it was th, it was th, it was th, I th, I th, I thi thi, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, or something like that. Like the other day it was like, hey, I need some stuff from the drugstore. I truly do not have time. Mm-hmm. What if someone just brought this to my house? Mm-hmm. The fact that there, when I was a kid, that wasn't a thing

because we had to toto McDonald's. Yeah, yeah, every tweets and tiny food was delivered everything else you had to go pick up. New York is different just because if everybody went to McDonald's, yeah. The whole, if everybody went to go get what they needed in New York, the city would shut down. There's too many humans in the fucking street. So you needed, I think online shopping has its benefits, but the thing that's, but the cons, but th, but th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the the thi, the thi, the the the the the the thi, the thi, the to to to to to to to to to thin, thin, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, they thin, teeeeeat, teat, toda. today thin, thin, to to to thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. th thing that's but the cons are so you know I went on vacation last month and I needed a new babin suit as my mama calls it okay and I ordered a bunch of bathing suits because they don't we don't sell bathing suits in the wintertime yeah in department stores so I had to order a bunch of bathing suits off of Bezos's internet. I now have 11 bathing suits that I have to return. And you can't just go to, because before Amazon would come to you if you had to return something.

They don't do that anymore because they realize that people are lazy enough, well they'll forget to return something, and then they just don't have to refund people, they just have the money. So now I have until the 31st to return 11 bathing suits that don't fit. I'm with you. And that's I think is a pitfall with online shopping because now if something doesn't work, if something

doesn't fit, now I have to go to the Whole Foods to find the Amazon locker to return this phone. I bought a tea kettle from fucking Amazon. Fresh out the box did not work. I don't know if someone else returned it and I think I had a shorter return window or I missed a return window because I they emailed me and they were like, hey, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I'm, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. think, thi. think, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I thi. a shorter return window or a miss a return window because I think they emailed me and they were like, hey, we charge you and I was like, fuck. But I was on the road and again and that's the thing. If you don't return it, you bought it. Okay, so let's promise you right now.

These 11 bathing suits, oh, they're going to fuck back. I'm in full support of everything that you said just now as a con, because I accept them as cons of online shopping. This is where I think that online shopping is a bit superior in that we don't give credit to online shopping for the things that in store, brick and mortar stores do, that ends up being online. So for instance, with online shopping, hey, we will let you know when the thing is back in stock.

You'll get an email from us as soon as the thing is back in stock and we can send it to you. If you're at a brick and mortar only store and they don't have what you want, they're not calling you a week from now to be like, hey, by the way, we got it. Maybe a comic book shop will do that. That's the only person I've ever had hit me up after I've been in there looking for something specific and then left my info with them and then they hit me up and they were like, hey, we got it if you want to come back through, right? That's an aspect.

When I was little, yeah, right, sustain, keep going. Yeah. Yeah, now if they will have what I want, I just leave. I don't tell them to content me. Hey, listen, I don't need it that bad now. Okay, I was like, Josh Johnson walking in at 32 years old being like, yeah, I need the Superman number 865. Paragraph. Paragraph. The idea, the most insulting thing about that whole like

rant you just went on was that I'd buy just the paragraph. You know what they had the new Superman boy, the new Spider-Man the boy that came out to Miles Morales? Mmales, this is my question. Mm-hmm. If the daddy black and the mama Puerto Rican and the daddy is there, how is his last name Morales? Is the daddy also Latino? I mean, maybe he was mad at his daddy, you know, baby he's like, hey, I go with maiden

names when you're not acting right, okay? Because I saw that and I was like, okay, that's awesome. It's a whole Afro-Latino family. And they're like, no, the dad's black and the mom is Puerto Rican, so I'm like, is this his stepdad? Look, I'm not going to lie to you. I haven't kept up hard. I haven't, um, listen, when there's like a, he, because he's like in a multiverse, right, where there's a spider pig and all kinds of shit, right? You might be asking the wrong one. I, I, I, I, was that not your universe? It, it, it was not. I liked it growing up, but I have not read Spider-Man in quite a while.

I think that I just used it as an example because to me there are things that we think brick and mortar stores do. There are actually aspects of online shopping, and I think that you've got to pull that over. If we're splitting it down the middle, you got to push that couch on my side. Because the notifications down the middle, you got to push that couch on my side because the notifications and the recommendations are, you're gonna get those mainly online. You might go into a brick and mortar store and find a sales associate passionate enough to help you find the right top for you, the right pants that look good that's not just trying to upsell you. You might find that genuine person. They're out there. But there's a higher likelihood that based off what you like, a website will pick something else that you might like and be right.

But I'll say this. When I really need something, it's not in a store. It's not on the end. It's sold out. When I really need need th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thi thi thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin. to thin. to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the thin. thin. the thin. th not on the store. It's not on the end. It's sold out. When I really need something, it's never there. I really needed some black flats. The store didn't have them. They had to mail them to me. I needed a new purse. Store didn't have it. I'm going to have probably have to find one a lot, like a real leather purse. Because my friends have shaved me and told me that I can afford a real leather purse. Because at one point my other purse was peeling. So they were like, you make them. Yeah. You have a good job, your purse can't be peeling. Um, but it's very rare.

I go into a store and I'm just like, black leather purse is what I need. It's like, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I th, I th, I'm thi, I'm th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th thi th th thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. what I need. It's like it's a lot of times I can't find what I want anyway. Mm-hmm. So going into a store it's like hey you know what I didn't find what I wanted I didn't find what I needed. But I found something that works. Ooh I just realized another thing another pro for online shopping. Another pro for online shopping. When you're online shopping. Do you mean food or stuff? Um, I guess I was thinking just stuff for this episode. Okay, because I had them delivered grocery, I did Amazon deliver groceries to me? Yeah, yeah. I never want another human being to pick up my fruit or meat ever again. Oh, really? I never want another person to pick out my produce or my fruit or my meat ever again.

Wow. Ever again. Yeah, I've realized while you were talking before another pro, especially for us of online shopping. Nobody follows you in the store, you know. It's following you through the internet. Yep. Yep. You're really just out here free to shoppice. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the their the the the the the the the thrue. tre. truuu. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. toe. thea. thea. the. know It's following you through the internet. Yep. Yep You're really just out here free to shop in peace in bed in pajamas. Yeah Maybe a snuggie. Yeah, y'all right. They're doing that experience in a brick and mortar roll up to a Brighamore store with a snuggy, right?

You know there are stories you can walk through with a snuggie on. There are some But try just walking through a store th th th th th th th th th th th the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store the store to to to to to to to to to their store store store store to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their store their store their store their store their store their stuff stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their their their their store store. their their store. their their their store their store. their their their their store. to to to to to to to to to tothrough with the snaggy on. There are some but try just walking through a store without getting looks especially depending on the store there are people who use the internet to find the dress they want to wear for their wedding dress store with a snuggy odd they won't even let you try stuff off they'll be like no no, no. Sustained. You're clearly going through something. No. Clearly haven't showered. Clearly.

It's musty under that snuggie. Bro, yeah. Being musty is one of the cardinal sins of black people. Yeah, it really is. It's like, it's one of those things where it'll change your whole view on the person like someone could be giving a lecture at a university, but if you pass them and they got they got that you know that That smell that's it's be O but it's also choked Yeah, like they've been choking stink all day like you can tell they put on extra layers so the stink wouldn't get through If someone smells that on you no matter what your lecture was about they're like, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd thi, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, thu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's thi's thi's thi, thi,'t get through. If someone smells that on you,

no matter what your lecture was about, they're like, I bet you you were wrong. I bet you're not as smart as I thought you were because you stink. We are so funny about smelling good. Yeah, yeah. I will even have, I've had the thing where this is really unfair, because you know, you know about pheromones, right? I love pheromones, but they they they they they they they they they they they they will, but they will, but they will, but they will, but they will, but they will, but the, but the the the thing, but the the thing, but the thing, but the the the the the the the th, but th, but their, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I' they're, I' they're, I' they're, I' they're, I' they're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I' they're, I' they're, I' they're, I' is, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, but their, but their, but th, but the th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I'll that, I'll th, I'll their, I'll their,thing where this is really unfair, because you know you know about pheromones, right? I love pheromones, but they will, but the thing is because you don't have any siblings, right? No. There's something that happens when you're a teenager. And this is probably just nature.

Your especially like a brother to a sister or just a son to it. Boys when they go through puberty smell, like a family member male, smell terrible. Yeah, I could see my brother fresh out the shower. I remember my mother yelling at him being like, what the fuck? And he's like, I just took a shower. And me and my mother being like, pee you. I don't, it must be.

All right. But yes, telling me about your fair modes, Joshua. Because you'll still- No, it's not my pheromones. It's a thing I witnessed. I was, I think I was playing, I was like playing soccer with some people. And afterwards, we met up with some friends and they were all talking about, so we all stink from running around in the sun and like try to score goals and so like that. And there was this dude who was already good looking, but the way that the women in

that group were trying to get near him and we're talking about how good he smelled when he was gone, when he was in the bathroom, I was so upset. Because I know that they were going off those pheromones he was dropping from, you know, just having rippling muscles. Maybe muscle sweat different. I have no idea. But the way that they were going about the fair molds, I was like, this dude can't be good looking and have good stink sweat. That's not fair. I'll tell you that I saw a study one time where they took, it was like a college, they had like just women just wear t-shirts like before their cycle, during their cycle and after their cycle. Mm-hmm. And they gave these t-tee t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-soe. their-I-soe. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I I was, I I I-s. I I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-n. I-n. I-n. I-n't-n't-n't-n't-n't-n't-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-s-s-s-s. thson't-s. t-s. t-s. t-s. t-skkkkkknecc-skkknec-s-s-s-s. And they gave these t-shirts to men, like, you know,

college-age boys. And they were like, smell these shirts. How attractive do you think the person is? And they tracked that right before the menstrual cycle, of course, is where all these men were like, yo, who was this person? Yeah, she smelled like a good person. Yeah, she smelled like she's beautiful. I am someone who had to have planned be delivered to me.

And that, that is a blessing. The other benefit of an online store, no lockup. You're not going to Walgreens hitting the button, wait for somebody to run by and be like, which one you want to get and then unlock the thing and then pull it out for you. Online shopping, you just add to cart. Honestly, when are we going to just make the whole store that? Yeah. It's almost there. It's like the only thing they haven't locked up the the the the the the the thupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupup thup thup thup, thup, to to to tha it's almost there. It's like the only thing they haven't locked up is the chips.

When they started locking up baby formula, I was like, this country's trash. We have a little bit of pride where when someone comes here and talks about how trash we are, we get defensive, but it's so funny when I travel and I'm like, oh y'all don't, in the street, y'all don't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the street you know like it's like you don't even have a way to bridge two ideas like it being in a UK like being in London and going on like their Walgreens it was just called boots and I was like and nothing was locked up now it was nothing locked up they'll give you recommendations this thing I liked because when we were in London and I remember I had to get that, I got something because I had hurt myself, right? So I was trying to get some painkiller. Oh, it was a real pharmacy. We went to have real pharmacy and there was this one lady that was like,

look, it's Russian, I don't know what it says, but it works. She gave this Russian Tylenol. Yeah, she gave me those Russian Tylenol and I was like, wait, so are you saying like, is this over the calendar or is it straight? She's like, it's a little strong. Like, I was like, what? What hurts? Here, none of the package was in English. Yeah. None of the I was in the Bahamas, one of my friends had lost her inhaler and another friend, the bugs are just really eating her up and she was having a

bad history of interaction. And our chef told us to go to the pharmacy and she's like, just tell them you need a new inhaler. And she just gave her an inhaler, just an albutoral inhaler, and then gave my friends some other prescription strength. And I was just just just just just just just just just just thuuu, oh, oh, oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, thi, their, th. their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thr-a, thrown. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, they. And, they. And, theer and then gave my friends some other prescription strength and I was just like Oh, yeah back in this day you used to be able to go to a pharmacy and go hey here's a problem Yeah, I will say that's a good point. That's the the thing that I think the concession I can make is that Brick and mortar stores have better customer service than online shopping. Because online shopping, they don't want, they don't even want you to call. They won't tell you. You'll have to Google the number. You'll Google the number for a place that has a store that should have the number on

the website. You can't call Amazon. Yeah. There's no number. Amazon has no customer service. And for as large as that company is, as someone who worked customer service for like 12 years, a fact that a company that big doesn't have customer service is insane. It shouldn't. I can't call. I got kids in here. I'm supposed to be having top of the line. It's not updating.

I got kids in here. I'm supposed to be having top of the line. Four burner top waffle iron. Trademark by W house waffle irons bro It comes with a fight in every box. Yeah where is my what there's no one to call As soon as you open the box you get a punch in the face truly and a convict is cooking your eggs mm-hmm because he's good at it right delicious where the fuck is not you can't call you can't call Amazon and find out? You know? Yeah, you're not wrong

So I think it's not kick this over to the listeners I think you're right. Did we make valid points? I think we made a few I think we made at least two each Least two each tell us what you think do you think? Do you think? Online store? lose two each. Tell us what you think. Do you think online store or in store shopping? I'm gonna be in store shopping all the way because I got I like to touch the feel of cotton the fabric of our lives you understand what I'm gonna be online shopping because I care about the future and I think that there's even more innovations to be made I think we've taken the brick and more store as far as it's gonna go. I think that there's even more innovations to be made. I think we've taken the brick and more store as far as it's going to go.

I think that everything that's coming for the future of shopping is going to be online. So... You know what needs to happen? You know how like food trucks or when they get to a point they could do brick and mortar store? Yeah. We need, you remember the bookmobile when you were a kid? Yep. That's what we need to start doing with these trucks. Mobile stores, baby girl. Okay, yeah. Pull up in your neighborhood with the essentials.

This sounds like the most kidnappable store I've ever heard. You're gonna roll up and they'd be like, come on in and get your supplies. And then you're just the the the the the the the the th we th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. to the th. the to the the the to the to th. to the thri. to to to to to to to to to come on in and get your supplies and then you're just gonna close the van and drive off. It's like it could be like a bookmobile situation. Mm-hmm. Or it could be like an ice cream truck situation. We pull up. You see the pictures on the side like, y'all let me get some toilet paper, let me get some paper towels, let me get some dishwasher and the tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip. tip tip tip tip. the tip. the the the the toy. the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. theymea' they. they. they. they. And they they they they they they their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. And toye. toye. toye.e.e.e.e.ean.ean.ean.eckeckeckecko.ecko. toyea toyea toye.e.e. And the. And the some paper towels. Let me get some dishwashing liquid. Let me get some diapers. Let me get some tampons. Mm-hmm.

Cat food and I'm out. Just roll up in your neighborhood. Okay. I mean, yeah, I think this is a- I mean, that would be the evolution of the brick and mortar store. I think that's the next step because like, say some place like here, people gotta go to the train, people gotta do this. Like, could you imagine if a mobile, if just JCPenney just pulled up in your neighborhood? Also, they keep telling me there's no S on the end of it, and I don't believe them.

Yeah, Dillards, pull up in the apartments, you know? Norsstrom rack. Let's go. There's a dressing room in this bitch. I'm with you. We understand. Pull up, there's a fitting room. I've been in one of those wardrobe trucks on set.

So let us know what you think, you know, let us know if you, either of us have won you over from the position you started in, or if you were with us the whole time, we want to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. I'm Josh Johnson. If you want more of me, you can find me on my podcast, which is wherever you listen to podcast. And if you are looking for Dulce, sharks, today I come to you to you with to you with to you with to you with to you with to you with to you with to you with to you with to you listen to podcast, and if you are looking for Dulce,

Sharks, today I come to you with my new business. Oh gosh, okay. Store on wheels, baby girl. You can find me in your hood, in your neighborhood, in the mall with your daddy. You know what I mean? I'm on the internet, your daddy. You know what I mean? I'm on the internet, you know what it is. Also, hey man, call you mama. Bye.

See ya. See ya. This has been hold up. We've covered conscious rap versus clubbangers, bar soap versus bollhousers versus waffle houses, all sorts of things. What else should we be talking about? We want to know from you.

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