The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Poppy Frenzy in California, Trump vs. George Conway & Women’s Innovations That Men Love | Will Hurd

Episode Date: March 21, 2019

President Trump attacks the late John McCain and longtime critic George Conway, Desi Lydic sheds light on women's innovations, and Texas GOP Rep. Will Hurd chats with Trevor. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

March 20, 2019. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the Daily Show Welcome to the dance, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm Trevor Noah. Thank you for coming out. Thank you. Thank you, thank you all for coming out.

Take a seat. Let's do it. Our guest tonight, I'm really excited is a U.S. representative from the great state of Texas, and the only black Republican in the House of Representatives. Will Hurd is joining us everybody. Also on tonight's show, Kelly Ann Conway has the weirdest marriage, the biggest sports contract ever and Desi Leidic on the women who invented men. So let's catch up on today's headlines.

First up, let me officially welcome you to spring. Yeah? It's the first day of spring. Can you feel it? You can feel it everywhere, right? I mean, you can tell here in New York, the winter street urine has begun to thaw. In Philadelphia, Gritty is shedding his winter coat. Yeah. And in Washington, D.C., Ben Carson is coming out of hibernation. Yeah, it's really cool. But it turns out, there are some people who may be enjoying spring too much. Southern California's unusually wet winter has created an explosion of color. One of Mother Nature's most dazzling displays, hillsides overrun with poppies. California's unusually wet winter has created an explosion of color.

One of Mother Nature's most dazzling displays, hillsides overrun with poppies. But it might be too much of a good thing for Lake Elsinore. The town saw roughly 100,000 visitors on Sunday, forcing Mayor Steve Manos to declare a poppy apocalypse. The flowers were being trampled and parking and traffic just turned into a nightmare. With social media driving the poppy frenzy, some worry the allure of a perfect post might be harming the star of nature's show. Wow, really? People are trampling the flowers just for a hot Instagram post.

And even worse, they're face-tuning the pictures. So now the flowers think they're not beautiful enough as they are. It makes them feel really insecure, you know? And also, you say you love nature, but it's funny how, I don't know, how we're going to fight against climate change, if every time nature does anything cool, 100, people get in their cars and drive 200 miles to go and destroy it. So much love for nature.

Look, the point is, be responsible, all right? If you want a photo with flowers, just do what I do. Crash funerals, all right? Yeah, I'll just be there like, yo, sorry about your nana, but I got to get these likes. All right, let's move on to the biggest news in the world of sports. He may not be a household name like LeBron, Brady or Serena, but tonight in LA Angel has reached heights even those legends can't match. Mike Trout, seven-time All-Star, two-time American League MVP is reportedly about to hook the biggest contract ever in North American professional sports. The center fielder's contract

extension is reportedly worth more than $430 million over 12 years. That's almost $36 million per year or more than $221,000 per baseball game. At Yankee Stadium, that's enough to pay for parking and get two hot dogs. That's like $20,000 dollars every time he swings. That's like $20,000 every time he swings the bat. Or $10,000 every time he scratches his crotch. Can you imagine the pressure Mike Trout is going to be under to win, right? Because whenever the angels are losing, he'll probably just have the opposing team, he'll just have them forfeit. He'll just be like, I'll buy you, I'll just just just just just just just just. Just, I'll just. Just, just. Just, just. Just, the the the the th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thrown. Can't throut, throut, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeeeeee. theeea. thee. the. the. the. the. 'll just have them forfeit, he'll just be like, I'll buy you guys, I'll buy you, I'll buy you, just lose. And look, if you've seen this Mike Trout play, he deserves every single penny. I mean, the guy is incredible.

But I will say, that's a lot of money to pay someone for a sport that only exists so people have something to think about when possibly my favorite story in my entire life. The concertina wire or the razor wire used to reinforce the U.S.-Mexico border is being stolen and sold by Tijuana residents for protection due to the city's high crime rate, according to officials. Some homes in the area were also seen with the same razor wire added for an extra layer of protection, but residents refused to say where they got the same razor wire added for an extra layer of protection, but residents refused to say where they got the material.

You heard that right. Mexico is stealing the wall. Oh no, I'm sorry, guys. This is insane. You heard that right. Mexico is stealing the wall. Oh man, I wish I could have been there when Donald Trump saw this story on the news. Knowing he'd probably be like, they did what? Nancy, I'm going to need you to spot me another $8 billion. We're going to need another wall to protect the first one.

And I mean, now, if they're stealing razor wire for their houses, they might as well just steal the whole wall next, right., the wall, the wall, the wall, the the the the the the the ne next, the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the is thoom. thoes, thoome, thoome, thoome, thoome, thi, their their their their their their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the, the, the, the, the is the is the is thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome, the. the. theanan, the is the is the the first one. And I mean, now, if they're stealing razor wire for their houses, they might as well just steal the whole wall next, right? Because no one's ever thought of that. America will build a wall. No one ever thought Mexico will steal it. Like, Mexicans will be showing off their new home security system like, I built a wall around my house. And Donald Trump paid for it. Oh man. Oh wow.

Like, at this rate, at this rate, Trump is just going to end up building all of Tijuana up, you know? They're going to start putting in requests from Mexico. They'll be like, you know what's really good for keeping us out, Sen. Trump? Yeah, garage doors, man. You should put those at the border, the ones that fold. Yeah, they scare us. Almost as much as patio furniture, man.

All right, let's move on to today's top story. tooomorrow. When you think of the Trump presidency, what's the one thing that you think of? Chaos? No, no, no, what else? Hamburgers? No, pawn stars? Almost there. No, beef. That's what it is. As of now, President Trump has been in more beefs than Tupac and Biggie in their prime. One of his most famous beefs was with the late Senator John McCain.

McCain often criticized him and even voted against Trump thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no thi, no thi, no thi, no thi, no thi, no thi, no th. No thi, no thi, no thi. No th. No th. No thi, no thi. No thi, no thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii plan to repeal Obamacare. But now that he's dead, that is over. Or so you'd think. President Trump right now is in a campaign-style rally in Ohio and just moments ago he once again unleashed yet another attack against the late senator John McCain. It wasn't a fan of John McCain. So now what we could say is, now we're all set. I don't think I have to answer that question, but the press keeps, what do you think of McCain? What do you think? Not my kind of guy.

I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president, I had to approve. I don't care about this, I didn't get thank you, that's okay. That's right folks, that's right folks. Not even a thank you for the beautiful funeral I gave him. And worst of all, he slept through the entire thing, folks. But that's okay, folks. I don't care. That's why I'm bringing it up. That's why. I really can't believe Trump is beefing with a dead man, and losing. Like I mean, who's he gonna go after next? Albert Einstein, big dummy,

how can E equal MC? They're different letters. It doesn't work, folks. It just doesn't work. Doesn't work. Now, if you're a living person who feels left out by Trump's beef with the departed, please, don't stress. Trump still has time to fight with people who are still alive.

And this week, his opponent of choice is George Conway. Now George Conway is a prominent conservative lawyer and a full-size Danny DeVito who has, from the beginning, been a vocal critic of President Trump. Now what makes the story interesting is that he's also married to Kelly Ann Conway. Yeah, the the Kellyan. Yeah, the presidential counselor and White House Momo, right? Yeah, but, but instead of killing kids on YouTube, she kills facts on cable news. Totally different game. So for two years, Kelly Ann's husband has been throwing shade at her boss, but this weekend, he took too took took took took took took to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too to too too the too too the too the too the the the the th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their.... the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the, totally different game. So for two years, Kelly Ann's husband has been throwing shade at her boss, but this weekend,

he took it to another level. To the White House now, and that bizarre and bitter feud between President Trump and the husband of his top advisor, Kellyan Conway, writing, quote, all Americans should be thinne seriously now about Trump's mental condition and psychological state. He posted screen grabs from the definitive diagnostic manual used by psychiatrists, detailing the definitions of certain mental conditions. One is narcissistic personality disorder. Conway also posted criteria for antisocial personality disorder.

Okay, now hold on, hold on. I'm not saying Trump is a normal person, but you can't just sit at home and diagnose a mental illness over Twitter, okay? Like these symptoms that this guy tweeted, they could be anyone. Like a grandiose sense of self-importance. Sure, okay, that one fits, I guess. But like number two, fantasies of success, power and brilliance. Okay, that one also fits, fine. But I mean, they can't, like all all, they they can't all, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiom, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi't like all apply to Trump. I mean, there's also what believes he's special,

has a sense of entitlement, expectations of favorable treatment, takes advantage of others, lax empathy, envious, arrogant, holy shit, all right, I take it back. I take it back. This is the most perfect match between disease and person I have ever seen. Nine symptoms, and they all described President Trump perfectly. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. taui. ta.a. ta. ta. ta.a, ta, ta, ta, ta describe President Trump perfectly. Like I wouldn't be surprised if number 10 was, use his hands like he's fighting off angry bees. And he sounds like it too. I think those people should never. I caught one. Caught

another one. So many. So many. Now I don't know what George Conway was trying to do with these tweets, but if he'd actually read the symptoms, he'd have known to be on the lookout for an aggressive response to criticism. I call him Mr. Kelly Ann. He's a whack job. There's no question about it, but I really don't know him. President Trump now blasting Mr. Conway as a total loser. The president is escalating his feud with George Conway. twee, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they. Hea, they. Hea, they. Hea, th. Hea, th. Hea, th. Hea, th. Hea, they. Hea, th. Hea, th. He, they. He, thi, they. Hea, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. He's, th th tooi. too. th th too. th tooi. th th th th th they's they's feud with George Conway. Tweeting this today, George Conway is very jealous of his wife's success and angry that I with her help didn't give him the job he so desperately wanted. I barely know him, but just take a look, a stone cold loser and husband from hell.

Damn. Donald Trump calling someone the husband from hell is pretty amazing. I mean, this is the same dude who has a separate checkbook for paying off porn stars. I mean, but Trump always insults people with things that apply to himself. Have you noticed that? Yeah? Like, Hillary is corrupt. Or Ted Cruz is a liar. Or Barack Obama hates how dumb both his sons are.

And by the way, the part of that tweet where Trump claimed Conway is just mad for not being offered a job. Well, it turns out, like most things, Trump says, it's not true. Conway says, he turns down a job in the early days of the Trump administration and released the letter he wrote to the president, declining the offer for the number three job in the Justice Department. I am grateful to you. however, this is not the right time for me to leave the private sector. You know, it's frustrating how often Trump lies, but at least he has the courtesy to make all of his lies easy to disprove, you know? Yeah, no, like all of his lies,

you can just Google, and the truth is the first result. but I won best supporting actress in 1979. I'm pretty sure that was Merrill Streep. That's my stage name, Merrill Streep. You're lying. No, I'm acting. So Trump and George Conway, they're going at it hard. And stuck in the middle of this brawl between her boss and her husband is Kelly Ann herself.

Kelly and Conway finally weighed in today, speaking, quote, Kelly and Conway finally weighed in today, speaking by phone with Politico, and defended the president, saying, quote, he left it alone for months out of respect for me, but you think he shouldn't respond when somebody, a non-medical professional, accuses him of having a mental disorder. You think he should just take that sitting down? Wow, defending Trump shouldn't take it sitting down? Well, I mean, it is Donald Trump. I think he's taking everything sitting down.

That was the same person who even walks sitting down. I mean, that's who we're talking about. And you know, guys, as much as we make fun of Kelly Ann Conway, you've got to admit, this sucks for her, right? Her husband is publicly beefing with her boss. That's not normal. And on top of all of that, everyone on cable news is trying to give her marriage advice. Would you be a little upset with your husband if he did what we've seen from George Conway? Who would work for a boss that causes your husband a loser to millions and millions of people?

I think it's probably hurting his wife's relationships inside the building? I cannot understand how you live in that marriage and he walks in and says I'm going to hammer your boss again in public. I don't get that one. I think she doesn't have any choice. At some point she's going to have to decide between Donald Trump and her husband. This is not working out. Okay, okay, okay. That's just cruel.

Gossiping about her marriage that way. And it's definitely, it's definitely, it's definitely, it's definitely, it's definitely, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, thi, thi, thi, I's thi, I's thi, I's thi, I's thi, I'm thi, I'm thoomomomomomom, I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's, I I I I I that's, I I that's, I I that's, I I I I I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi, I's thi, I's thi, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooo tho thi. tho tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I countdown clock to Kelly Ann's divorce not necessary really not necessary and look no discussion of someone's marriage problems should ever be on cable news all all right it should be on Dr. Phil which is why we invited him to the show so we could talk about this with him but unfortunately Dr. Phil couldn't come because he had some kind of mustache emergency, he said. So luckily, I actually have a cousin in Texas, who is also a TV therapist. So ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Dr. For Trevor.

Today I want to talk about this hall brew-ha-ha-ha-ha between Killian and George Conway and Donald Trump. Or as I like to call it, a menage t'want are you doing? First of all, George Conway, you're out of line fella. Why don't you pop down and just support your wife's career instead of making her life a living heck? Pardon my language. Pardon my language. I mean, we don't need your tweets, George.

You're just telling the stuff we already know. Donald Trump lies and lacks attention. Oh, they should hire you to write op-airns for no shit. Again my language. Pardon my language. Pardon my language, pardon my language, folks, pardon my language. Oh, and President Trump, for once in your life, can't you be the bigger man? You can't be bad-mouting your employee's spouse on the Twitters. It just makes you look like a fucking asshole. Pardon my language, fard my language, folks. Look, Donald, the Conway marriage is like a misteen USA dressing room. You've got to stay out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. to to to to to to to the, to their. their. their. their. their. their. the Donald, the Conway marriage is like a Miss Teen USA dressing room. You got to stay out of it buddy. Gotta stay out. And finally, finally, Kelly Ann Conway. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. You're clearly the only adult in a room

full of bratty kids. You'll just keep this, you're clearly the only adult in a room full of bratty kids. You just keep your head up and keep doing the important work of lying to the American people and making Chuck Todd want to kill himself. But don't leave these buffoons to distract you, Kelly Ann. The truth is, they're just acting like a bunch of bitch ass, bitch, jerks. Pardon my language. Pardon my language. Pardon my language. All right, when we come back, we'll talk to a sex addict's son who keeps sending dick picks to his blind dad. It's got it all, folks. We'll be right back. Come right back. Hey everybody, John Stewart here.

I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show. All March long, we're covering Women's History Month,

when we all celebrate all of the great icons from Marie Curie to Ms. Pacman. She is the perfect woman, strong, sexy and eats ghost, everything I'm looking for. For more on this we're joined by our senior gender issues correspondent Desi Lydic everybody. Thanks, Trevor. You know this month is so important to me because I get to celebrate some amazing women and the show buys me a really nice watch. I didn't sign up on that. I said no. Oh yeah, that's why I forged your signature. I did it for women. Now look, I know a lot of men might think women's history doesn't affect them, but it turns out women throughout history of inventance of men's favorite things. For example, tha tha thiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi's togee is thout history have invented some of men's favorite things. For example, Trevor, what's the number one thing that men can't live without?

I'll give you a hint. It starts with the bee, you whip him out during spring break. Boobs? Yeah, beer. No, boobs is a brand of South African beer. Okay. Well, beer is a 530 billion-dollar industry, mostly thanks to men. And who can blame them for loving beer with all those macho ads full of sexy women, desperate to have sexy sex. Ooh, Grandpa, your social security check is so big.

But it turns out, Mesopotamian women were the ones who invented this man juice. Wait, sorry, no, that doesn't sound right. This man fluid. Yeah. That's that's better. thia. thiiiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. With th. With th. With th. With th. With th. With th. With th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. tho. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho the the the the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeateeateateeeeateeeateat theate. theate. thoooooooo. this man juice. Wait, sorry, no, that doesn't sound right. This man flew it. Yeah, that's better. But it's true, 7,000 years ago, beer was considered a gift from a goddess, and only women were entrusted with making it, which is why I no longer pay for beer when I go out.

Instead of signing my bar tab, I just write, you're welcome. Well, that's actually a really cool thing. I mean, not you stealing drinks, but the invention of beer. Yeah, no, and that's not all. A woman helped create one of the things men think they can do when they're drunk. Kung Fu. You know, society has always told us that it's meant for men, you know, and pandas. But, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, and th, and th, and th, th, and th, th, and thii. th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and the, and the, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, and th, and th. Yeah, and thi, and thi, and thi. Yeah, and thi. And thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, the, the, the, the, thea, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thea. And, thea, th most famous Kung Fuer of all time, got his whole style of Kung Fu from a woman. In the 1700s, a nun by the name of Inng Moy developed her method after teaching a female student how to fight off a creepy guy. You know, these days you can just swipe left, but back then you had to literally swipe left. That's, yeah, that's so amazing. Wow. I didn't know all of these things.

A lot of all women's history months. Like, I didn't know that a nun helped invent Kung Fu. Yeah, well, I mean, it's not that crazy. Nones are badass. Remember that nun in the 90s who took down one of Reno's biggest mobsters? And she still had time to teach her choir some motelan motel the mote Hotel classics. Isn't that sister act? Yeah, it's my favorite documentary. And speaking of fighting, it was this woman, Lisa Maitner, who discovered nuclear fission. I'm sorry, Desi, nuclear fission, what is that?

Oh my god. Seriously, Trevor, you don't know what nuclear fission is? I mean, everyone knows it's when you fission the nuclear, you know, whatever. The point is, her discovery of nuclear fission became the basis for all nuclear weapons. So without her, there are no nuclear bombs. And without nuclear bombs, world leaders would have no way of proving how big their dicks are. Listen, fellas, the next time you're butt-chugging a PBR or start a bar fight or drop a nuke, remember all of the women who made it possible and honor them by not doing any of that dumb shit in the first place.

Desilatik, everyone! Put it right back. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is a Republican lawmaker from Texas who represents more of the U.S.-Mexico border than any other member of Congress. Please welcome. Congressman Willherd. Let me ask you a question that is oftentimes the elephants in the room. Sure, let's hear it.

As a black Republican. Let me ask you a question that is oftentimes the elephants in the room. Sure, let's hear it. As a black Republican. That's the question. There's not, there's not, there's not many of us. Right. Why do you think that is? Look, I think that is because, look, my dad that thii. My dad always says that he was a Republican from the first time Lincoln freed us, right?

How old was your dad? Exactly. He's 86. But we have to make sure that we're recruiting candidates. And a lot of times the Republican Party doesn't go into communities that could naturally identify with our philosophy and our beliefs. However, if you don't show up to places, if you don't talk to people, if they don't trust you, then they're not going to listen to you.

And that's what I try to change, and that's, you know, the district I actually represent is a 71% Latino district. It's 29 counties, two time zones, 820 miles of the border. It's larger than 26 states, and it's roughly the tapapapapapapapap I think that's why I've been able to be successful. It's interesting the area that you represent, because that is a part of the country that most of America is fighting over. Most people haven't been there, but that is what people are fighting over. The border. You actually represent a large portion of the border. What is going on one news channel it is a war zone in the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, thia, thia, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, and, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoomomomomom. And, is. And, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr-a. thr-a. thooo. thoo. tho. the. the end of the world. On another news channel, it is only a utopian gateway

where willing workers are coming through. Which one is it? Well, it's somewhere in the middle, right? Which is usually the case. There's a problem at the border right now. There's no doubt about that. $67 billion of drugs are coming into our country illegally. Last year about, but is that thor, the border, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where where where, where, where where, where where where, where where, where where, where where, where where where, where where where, where, where where, where where, where, where, where the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi's the thi's thi.wi. thi. thi. thi. But is that through the border, like the illegal border or is that legal ports of entry? Ports of entry and some of it is coming in between the ports of entry.

But the bulk of it is actually coming in through our ports. You can't make 67 billion dollars by bringing it in a book back, right? And it gives some context to that number. Target, you know, the Home Good Store, is $65 billion. The U.S. intelligence budget is $61 billion. And now in some of our communities, especially in the Midwest, you're having people dying from drug use versus, that's higher than deaths on the roads. You also have 400,000 people that try to come in our country illegally. Last year, right now that number is that, that, that, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii that number is that number is that number is that number is that number is that number is that number is that number is that number is th is thii-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-s thi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-s. the-s, the-s, also have 400,000 people that try to come in our country illegally. Last year, right now that number is about 300,000.

And the difference right now is about 60% are families and unaccompanied children. In the 80s, when Border Patrol really got ratcheted up, they were dealing with males, single men, right? But here's a problem. We don't know everything control of our border. We don't know everything that's going back and forth across our border. The reason is because our strategy has been flawed for so many years.

We're not looking at all 2,000 miles of border at the same time. You can protect our border and the times. You can't protect our border border and the wall. Donald Trump has said the wall is what is going to protect America. You put the wall up there and then you stop the drugs you stop the criminals you stop the rapists. Some of them are good people but you stop everyone else. Now when you look at emergency border wall. Why? How does that make sense for you as a Republican? It makes sense for me as a Republican because I believe Congress was given the ultimate check

and balance in government and that's the power of the purse. And Congress is the one that should be deciding how money is spent. Do you think that it's a national emergency? It's a major problem. But when you say national emergency, that gives the president powers to take money from other parts of the government, to use it for something that he sees fit. And I don't believe we should be taking money from our bases. We've just rebuilt our military. We're making sure that the men and women that are keeping us safe have the proper facilities to train in. And you're taking money away from that in order to put it on, our, the, the, to, to, the, the, the, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the the, and, and, the the, and, and, and, and, the the, and the the, and the the, and the the, and the the, and tho, and, and tho, and the, and the, and tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the, the the, the the, they, they, they, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, theyyyyyr.ea, theyyrowne, they, they, is, they, is, is, is t train in and you're taking money away from that in order to put it on something that I've said building a wall from Sea to Shining Sea is the most expensive and least effective way to do border security. The president actually

agrees with that. Well I'm it's interesting that you say that because Trump's messaging on the wall has evolved quite substantially over time. Some have credited you with some of the new messaging because you you haven't met the president president president president president president president president president president president president president the president the president the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. tooom. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the to. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. time. Some have credited you with some of the new messaging because you haven't met the president directly but you speak to Mulvaney and some of the other people in Trump's staff and your talking points and your beliefs have found their way into his speeches. He used to say we're gonna build a wall, a big powerful, big strong wall, big wall, beautiful wall and then you were saying no we don't need that we need a smart wall. We need a wall. We need a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theymea. theymea. they. they. tapape. tape. tape, the they. thea thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. And thea. And thea. And talkh. And the the their. And the talking. And the talking. And the talking. And the they. And the they. And the the their. And the talkh. And talkh. And talke. And talke. And talke. And toke. And then. And toke. And toke. And toke. Ande. And toke. And toke. And toke. And toke. Ande. And toke We need technology. We need sensors. We need fiber optic cable, etc. And then he started saying then, he says, not gonna be just a medieval wall, it's gonna be smart, it's gonna be beautiful,

what that guy said. And it feels like some of your messages filtering through. So what do you think American needs? What is your idea of the border right now between the US and Mexico 654 miles I'm already have some kind of barrier let's call it fencing and then Congress over the years has passed another 88 miles what we need is technology with the technology exists to determine the difference between a bunny rabbit and a person you can track that threat until you're able to deploy the most important resource, men and women in Border Patrol.

And in some parts, especially in my district, I have the Chihuahuan Desert, is the biggest desert in North America. Border Patrol's response time to a threat is measured in hours, two days. So if you can't get to somebody, in hours or days, a wall is actually not a physical barrier. It's a waste of money, so we need to be having technology. And we need more men and women in Border Patrol. Right now, today, there are 2,000 positions that are unfilled within Border Patrol.

One of the reasons is it's a retention problem within Border Patrol. They do crazy things like they move someone from New Mexico to Texas, and that person is forced to pay for their own move, their move of their kids and their family. No other entity in government does that. No private sector entity does that. And so those are some of the problems that need to be addressed to make sure that we have enough men and women in border patrol. You've also in the United

States. You said you are pro the dreamers. Sure. Why would you go against what Trump has said and what so many Republicans have said? So the other thing with border security, we need to streamline immigration. When the economy is at 3.8, 3.9, 4% unemployment, what does that mean? That means whether you're in agriculture or artificial intelligence, you need workers. And the crooked way to do that is streamline our legal immigration system. If we do that, then we allow Border Patrol to focus on Kingpin Human Smugglers and things like that.

Oh, and by the way, we have to address root causes, which is in the northern triangle, El Salvador, Honduras, addressing violence and lack of economic opportunities there. But when it comes to Dreamers, 1.2 million young men and women who have only known the United States of America as a home, they're already contributing to our economy, they're already contributing to our society. They are already Americans. Let's make sure we have a permanent legislative figure.

When I look at many of your policies, there are pages of your policies that are difficult to distinguish from what many Democrats are saying. I'll be honest. Or the other way around. A lot of what you say. Well, I think there are more Democrats saying what you're saying than Republicans saying what you're saying. That's why I say that. So either way, though, what do you then think makes you a Republican? Look, I believe in minority minority their their their their their their their their their their th. Thea th. Thea th. Thea thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea.a.a. We're thee.a. the. T you then think makes you a Republican? Look, I believe in minority rights.

I believe in economic choice. I believe in consumer choice. I believe in separation of powers. These are all the things that I believe. And so I'm going to continue to push this. But I also know that the only way we get big things done is by doing it together. And that is why I think, you know, all the legislation I've been able to get done under a Democratic

President and a Republican president has been by working together. The major things we've ever seen happen get done that way. You have been credited for working together. You have been credited for working took a famous road trip with now, you know, running for the president, Beddough O'Rourke. And the two of you really, you created a storm because it was the two of you, on a Facebook Live, you're driving around, you know, the country in a rental car. I think you went from Texas to D.C. horrible decision.

And the two of you were just hanging out in the car. And the point the point the point the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th thui thoom thoom thoom, thoom, thi, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, their, tree.e, to, tree.e, together, together, together, together, together, together, to., and the point of this was to, I guess, rekindle the idea that policy makers from different sides of the aisle could get along. Why is that so important to you? We can agree without being disagree. We can disagree without being disagreeable. And I think that's one thing that we showed. And we also showed that things, we can get a lot of big things done. You know, part of that is in my ethos, and I'm a classically trained engineer. I was an undercover officer in the CIA. And when you're going out recruiting spies and stealing secrets, you can't tell someone,

oh yeah, we can't do that today, Ross. We don't have enough money or we don't have enough people. the job. And so that's the kind of perspective I try to bring to this. And again, the only way you do it is if we recognize Waymore unites us. Let me ask you this as one final question. How do you respond, because I mean, you must be in a tough position, you know, and I've read what people have written about you, what they tweat you, etc. But how do you respond to black Americans who say to black to black to black to black to black to black to black to black to black their to black their to black their their their their their their their their the the. the. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. this as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one as one th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the as one the as one the as one the as one the as one the the an the an the an the an the an theanan. thean. thean. you support a party that very clearly tries to disenfranchise the black vote, very clearly tries to implement laws and ideas that oppress black people in America? How can you be a black person and a Republican? Isn't that in of itself a paradox? Not because no one can be what they want to be, but rather because this Republican party specifically

seems to favor ideas and laws that target black people. Well I would say to that I support growing the amount of people that can't actually turn out and vote. You know, I support making sure that the police are properly trained and aren't targeting black men and women unnecessarily. I believe in things like opportunity zones to making sure that we're growing the opportunity for someone to move up the economic ladder.

You know, my dad's black, my mom is white, they grew up in South Texas, where they got married and moved to South Texas in 1971. And even then, my dad couldn't stop in restaurants or go to any hotel. He couldn't do that then. And then, fast forward 40 years later, the youngest son is a member of Congress. And ultimately, for me, making sure that everybody's moving up the economic ladder. And while some people may espouse those things that you do, not everybody is that way. And so I disagree with the premise, and my goal is to make sure that thi. And then, then, then, then, thuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thu thu thu thu thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin, thin, thin, then, then, thin, thenthose things that you do. Not everybody is that way.

And so I disagree with the premise, and my goal is to make sure that we have a competition of ideas within the party and amongst the party. When you say you disagree with, which part of the premise do you disagree with. So for instance, I'm saying, let's remove opinion from it. Let's say, for instance, the Supreme Court ruling saying, hey, we've looked at multiple laws that Republicans have created in and around voting, and we found no other possible explanation for the laws other than racism, which the Supreme Court never

wants to use. They never want to say that word, they don't rush to that. So I mean, do you disagree with that part of the premise that the Republican Party? Yes, yes. Right. Look, that's that's, that's, do that's, do that's, do that's, do that's, do that's, do that's, do that's, do that's, that's, that's, th. Do, the th. Do, the the the the the the the tho, do the the the the the the the tho tho. tho. the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th.the part of the premise that the Republican Party? Yes, yes. Yes. Right. That's the folks in North Carolina that made that decision. And saying that everybody who may have done that or pursued that does not mean that everybody within the party that believes that. That's an interesting point. Do you think then a two-party system,

you are going to be in a space where you're either or either, but the range and the gamut of people in politics is a lot wider than just two sides. When you look at yourself within the Republican Party, do you find yourselfthat the Republican, do you find the Republican Party is more extreme than you are? Do you find some of it is more extreme? Where do you see yourself within the party itself? So I always, when someone tries to put a label on it, you know, that always frustrates me. Because that's a, it's a myopic way of looking at the problem.

The Republican Party, there's a lot of different kinds of things that you and I have talked about here, most people are like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Definitely. When I go home, guess what? The folks that have been Republicans all their life, they agree with me, right? Democrats come up to me and whisper, I agree with you too, right? You know, and so this is, so this is a lot of people that are like me and believe my way, right? And so my point is why I come in, talk to folks like you, and talk to groups that may not necessarily believe in the Republican Party

to say, listen, there are some of us that are thoughtful, there are some of us that are actually try to solve problems. There are some of us that believe in helping people move up. There are people that there are people that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that thiiiiiiiiiiii, that that that thi, that that that that that that that that that that that thi, thi, that that that we take care of them and that we give them a hand up. And so that's what I believe, and there's a lot of people that do believe my way, and we don't get enough opportunity to talk about it. So if I understand what you're saying,

some of them may be racist, some of them may be horrible people, but most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most I I I I I I most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Well, I'm joking with you. Can I be honest, I, honestly, I, I appreciate you being on the show. I mean, like you say, we don't have to agree on everything, but I mean, as the audience here, you make sense, you know, you are thoughtful in a lot of the things that you say, and I appreciate you coming out here. I joke with you, right. But I wish we could have th th th th th th you very much for being on the show. Let's go down to Taxation. Thank you.

Congressmen will hurt, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you so real. John Stewart here. Unbelievably. to be exciting news. My new podcast, the weekly show, the weekly show, where you get your podcast. the weekly show, you. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. We' th. We're tho, the the weekly, the weekly the weekly the weekly tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, the thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, thi, everybody th. Thank, th. Thank, to to to to to to th. Thank, to to to to th. Thank, to to th. We thi. We'll thi. Thank, thi. We'll thi. Thank to to to to to thi. We'll to to to to to to to to to toge. We'll together. We'll theateateateateat, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast.

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It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me, the election, economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.