The Daily Show: Ears Edition - POTUS Hires America's Least-Qualified Spy & Trump's Portrait Graces New $250 Bill? | Beth Stern

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

Michael Kosta digs into the Trump administration's promising new hires, including a Pentagon employee who got his start doing January 6 and a new highest-ranking intelligence officer with zero intelligence experience, Bill Pulte. Plus, New York Knicks fans go zombie-mode after winning Game 1 in the NBA Finals, and Trump prepares for America's semiquincentennial with his face on a $250 bill and the most confusing d**k-measuring contest ever. America is celebrating its 250th birthday, but the country is still as divided as ever. Jordan Klepper heads to a celebration event in New Orleans to ask hard-hitting questions like: How is the president doing? Should any of the January 6 insurrectionists get money from the slush fund? And how many more years does America have? Beth Stern, bestselling author and national spokesperson for North Shore Animal League America, joins Michael to discuss her new children’s book, “Coco and Stephen, Together Forever,” which is based on the real-life unlikely friendship between her rescue animals, Coco the kitten and Stephen the rabbit. She recounts how her home with husband Howard Stern has become a safe haven where over 3,000 foster animals have passed through, emphasizes why committing to the responsibility of a new pet requires serious consideration from the whole family, and advocates for animal adoption over shopping. Plus, Kosta’s own rescue “bro” Walter makes a special appearance. -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on Paramount+ Follow TDS: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only sorts for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Costa. And does the DC Reflecting Pool remind you of Dix? No, we're going to fix that. Hey, let's get into the headlines. Let's start with the big news, the New York Knicks, baby!

Man, I haven't been proud of this city since that one time to start of COVID when they decided to clean the subway for the first time ever. That game was so great. I think we could all agree that we should just end the series at 1 to 0. Stop the count. Stop the count. Stop the count.

There we go. The game was in San Antonio, but you wouldn't have known that if you walked around New York last night where the atmosphere went from celebratory to zombie attack. Now that they are back in a place, they have not been in more than two decades. So moving forward, like we said, is a long series, but the enthusiasm here. Unfortunately, that reporter was torn apart.

But his body will be used as spare parts for Jalen Brunson's knees, which is an incredible honor here in New York. So, all right, let's move on. Because we're exactly one month away from July 4th, so President Trump is scrambling to clean up Washington, D.C., before company comes over. He's building an arch. He's covering statues in gold. He's adding a smores station to Kennedy's Eternal Flame.

But his biggest project has been renovating the reflecting pool by the Lincoln Memorial because, as you know, one of the powers granted to the president in the Constitution is pool boy. Now, those renovations took longer than we were told they would, but to the people who were complaining,

Trump reminded them that the pool is very big. Although, let's hear it from him. It's 200,000, 500 feet long by almost 200 feet wide. The tallest building in the world would not reach the end of it. gotcha okay so the reflecting pool is very long kind of a weird way to measure it but loud and clear you don't need to bring it up again that's like taller than any skyscraper 2,000 feet that's longer

than the tallest building in the world if you lay it sideways it's two Empire State buildings more than that they just had this done i'm getting it for his limbs that that's your size compared so those are compared to those are among the tallest buildings in the world. What the fuck is happening right now? Why did you make that chart? Our pool is bigger than skyscrapers? Those are two totally different things. I'd say you're comparing apples and oranges,

but at least those are fruits. This would be like putting up a chart that says, this sandwich is louder than haircuts. What the fuck are we talking about? By the way, and I would like to say, As a man and as a feminist, I'm so tired of turning everything into a dick measuring contest. Why can't we have a vagina measuring contest for once? Yeah, it says the reflecting pool is 18 inches deep, but the Grand Canyon is more than a mile deep.

And it's self-lubricating. But Donald Trump isn't the only one preparing for America's 250th birthday. His Treasury Secretary also has a special surprise for us. And no, it's not affordable groceries. It's something that we didn't even ask for. The administration hoping to mark the big day with a new $250 bill, complete with a portrait of President Trump. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent says his department is ready to print the bill.

Wow. What a great picture of both Trump and Besson. Between the two of them, they have zero normal smiles. Forget Donald Trump's face. I don't want to carry around a $250 bill. Imagine a homeless guy asked me for money. I have to give him that. bill and then ask for $249.50 back?

But isn't having your face on money kind of something you have to earn as a president? Why is Donald Trump getting his own bill? I don't think that there's anything untoward about having the President of the United States. The person who was President of the United States on the 250th anniversary bill. Ah, yes, I see. It's not that he's a good president. He just happens to be the president during the 250th anniversary. It's like how George W. Bush is on the $9.11 bill.

Now, those bills are awkward. When you give them to a homeless guy, you gotta ask for $8.61 back? Switching gears. It's been a year since Donald Trump freed the January 6 rioters from prison. Hey, but give these guys some credit. A lot of these guys have been working really hard

to get themselves back behind bars. According to a new study, at least 97 January 6th rioters, or 1 in 16, have been arrested for or charged with new crimes since being pardoned by Donald Trump. USA! USA! U.S.A!

I know. It doesn't... All of you people put those January 6 guys in a box, didn't you? And they aren't just January 6ers. They can commit crimes any day, any month of the year. I mean, come on. Is there anybody who's at January 6 who's actually sorry for what they did? Elias Irizari was 19 years old at the time of this riot.

this riot, joining the mob that breached the police lines and entered the Capitol. He later expressed remorse for his actions, saying he'd, quote, brought great shame upon myself, my family, and unfortunately, my country. Damn, he was 19? This dude did an insurrection the first time he voted? You were disillusioned with democracy the moment you entered it? Well, voting didn't work. Guess I got to beat someone with a flagpole.

But I'm glad he apologized. Although, of course, that's just a first step. Obviously, it's going to be a long time before anyone trusts him with anything important. Sir Azari was recently hired to work in a Pentagon office that oversees special operations. Insiders say it's among the most sensitive work

the military does. Ah, shit. That seems pretty important. This kid basically interned January 6th. Now, look, I want to give the guy some grace, because we all f*** up when we're 19. We usually don't

get paid for those f***ups later. I mean, thankfully, my neighbors forgave me for putting flaming bags of dog poop in their mailbox. What they didn't do was appoint me postmaster general. But to be fair, the Trump administration isn't just going to hand you a job in the Pentagon without any experience.

They'll also hand you a job running the intelligence community without any experience. Federal housing finance chief, Bill Pulte, close confidant of the president, will now be the highest-ranking intelligence official in the government. Despite having no experience in Spycraft or National Security. Zero experience in spycraft. You mean if he looks through binoculars, there's a 50%

chance he's going to be like, why is you so tiny? We need someone who's a spy, you know, someone who's flown to Switzerland in a tuxedo and infiltrated a top secret military party and then had sex with a super hot triple agent named something like Mucho Coocho. You know, everyone knows that's spycraft. This guy doesn't even, this guy doesn't even look like he has experience asking for a haircut. What did he tell is barber? Give me the sushi? Hey, does this one come with miso soup? This man is totally unprepared and ill-equipped for this job.

How will he ever fit in with the Fox News Weekend Morning Host who runs the Pentagon or the Supplements Pitchman who administers Medicare or the fake wrestling CEO who runs education or the road rules guy who makes sure planes don't fall out of the sky? Oh, he's going to fit in perfectly? Great. Why would Trump give a spying job to a guy who has no experience spying? Polte used his perch at the Federal Housing Finance Agency to send criminal referrals to the Justice Department

accusing President Trump's political enemies of mortgage fraud. Ah, I see, because he'll abuse his access to government secrets to prosecute Trump's political enemies. Now, that's the Donald Trump, I know. The Donald Trump whose hiring criteria is not whether you're good at the job, but how good you are at using the job to go after his political enemy? enemies. But the president needs to understand that he cannot abuse his power like this. And to show it to him in terms he'll understand, this corruption is spicier than rivers.

And I think he knows exactly what I'm saying. When we come back, we find out what Americans think of our national birthday. But are the American people feeling the birthday love? Jordan Klepper went to find out. Another edition of Jordan Klepper fingers the pulse. As America heads towards its 250th birthday, there are partisan and nonpartisan celebrations happening all over the U.S. But how is a country so divided approaching this big day? I went to New Orleans for an America 250 event full of Navy boats and tall ships to check out the festivities. It's for the 250th anniversary of America.

You know which one that is? By centennial? By centennial, that's two. That's two tenials. Okay. By half centennial? Not a half. So, buy is the tube.

There's a sesqua. Semi quinti... Quintes... It's semi... It's not quintessential. The semi-Quintessenceanera. The semi-Kinthera. Kinsenera?

Yes. We're celebrating America's semi-Kinceria. I mean, it. A bis-susquine... The 250. The f*** 250. Okay, yes. If 25 is silver and 50 is gold,

what the hell do you get for a semi-quincentennial? What do you get a cut? country that has everything besides health insurance and responsible gun reform. What do you, what do you, what do you get America? A t-shirt. A t-shirt. It's pretty old. What would I get like my grandparents?

Probably like some like malware protection. I would give America a nice, tall mug of common sense. It doesn't smell like common sense. I have more, would you like to? I usually wait till after five to have my common sense. A new ballroom maybe? Of course. That's great. That's great. Are you excited by the ballroom? I am. Yeah? Yeah. Why is that? What's so excited about the ballroom?

I think we need it. Yeah? I do. You know, I remember going to the voting booth and being like, the first priority for me, a good space for the Lindy house. That's important. And depending on who you're asking, America's either the hottest country or an empire in decline. We've made it 250 years. How many more do you think we have? Infinite, huh? Infinite. That's an optimist right there. Come on. You're an optimist. Or you don't read the news. No, we're not going anywhere. This is the end, the beginning of the end, the start of the end,

the start of the end, however you want to put that. It's, we're on our way out. I don't know where we're going, but we're going somewhere. I just, I look on all the other countries, America's in its teenage years. You think we're that youthful? Have you seen the Senate? But Americans know age is nothing but a number, especially when you consider our youthful commander-in-chief. How do you think the president's doing?

Great, real great. How do you think the president's doing? Oh, I mean, you're going to be honest, pretty shit. Pretty shit. The economy has grown, and we're not having wars everywhere. Is that true? Well, we're in Iran. Hopefully that ends soon.

We are in a war, but we aren't in a war. I mean, I think Trump is trying to be a kinder gentler type guy. More statesmen this time. Think Trump's been a little bit more statesman this time? Yes, I do. He did talk about erasing an entire civilization. You did. That feels a little less statesman-e to me.

Sometimes it's a lot of talk. As Trump reached out to you to help with opening up that straight-of-hoom, at all? No, but if he did, I can't say that I'd sail briskly under that command. I was going to say, even a man pretending to be a pirate is like, come on, man, you've got to put some time and effort into that. Show me the plan. Show me the plan.

How do you think the president's doing? The country, I feel like it's starting to go in a better direction. He ran on no new wars. Very true. What do you think about all the new wars? True. He got me there. That's okay.

Yeah. Release those Epstein files. I agree there. there. Yes. How do you think about those Epstein files not being released? I think the wars are more so to cover that to get people's attention away from that, so nobody's focusing.

Would you vote for them again? I don't know. You don't know. Okay. Starting a war to distract from not releasing the Epstein files is definitely a almost deal breaker. Yes. Okay, okay. A strong

almost. Almost. One potential deal breaker for even some Republicans has been Trump's on again, off-again settlement funds set aside for allies and J-Sixers who claim judicial persecution. I think those people, the people at January 6th, weren't treated as fairly as other protesters have it. You don't think they were treated fairly at all? I don't think they were treated fairly at all. Do you think they deserve some cash? I think they do deserve a little bit of money based on what happened. Okay, so this guy's spraying the cup with pepper spray. How much money should he get?

Is this like 100 grand? Well, I don't know. Not that guy. Guy who wore the camp Auschwitz sweatshirt at J6. Not that guy either. He shouldn't get any. No. What about this guy? Well, this guy already got a souvenir.

You take that off? Like, if you're gonna get $100,000. It's funny. It's funny. Yeah. Does humor get you a little bit more cash? Well, I don't know. So America is as divided as ever.

But here in the Big Easy, there are places where partisanship fades away, and true perspective can be found. In this moment, we're all together and we're happy. We're in the... I see people of all walks of life, and they're all being accepted here in New Orleans. This is the American experiment right here, right? Yes, yes. It's mostly an experiment of how many alcohols can you put in your body and throw up before 7 p.m.? Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. Yes. What drink is most representative of America? A hurricane? I would maybe say a hand grenade. What's a hand grenade? It really has a lot of different types of alcohol in one, and it has some consequences the next day. But night of... It's a really great time.

And it looks like an actual weapon of war. Yeah. Okay, America, I'll see you at the next 250 event. Right after I get some pediolite. North Shore Animal League America and a best-selling author whose new children's book is called Coco and Stephen Together Forever.

Please welcome Beth Stur. Coco and Stephen. They're my babies. Oh, this is an amazing book. I read it to my kids. This is a true story. It is. I've been fostering animals for over a decade.

I'm a big animal rescuer in my entire life. And over 3,000 animals have come through our home. Howard Stern is my husband, so he shares this with me. What's easier taking care of? 3,000 animals or Howard Stern? Who do you think? Yeah, so in my foster room, we have multiple foster rooms in our home. I think I have six nursing mamas in my house right now.

Wow. Magic happens. Yeah. And I want to share the math. to children because there's always like a lesson that we can learn from animals and this was a discarded bunny I call them an Easter dump yeah people think there's to me about that people think they're so cute oh they're at the fair and they see a little Easter bunny in a basket and they want to buy them for their care or get

them for their kids they take them home and they are a lot of work yeah rabbits poop over 350 times a day and that's a fact right and they're pooping all over you can teach them out to use the litter box but some do and some don't It's not a messy poop. It's like a hard, easy-to-pick-up poop. They're the cutest poops. I'm at the point where I pick them up in my fingers. It's gotten to that point. But so what happens is people don't want to deal with that.

And they think, oh, he'll be fine outside. So people dump them outside. And the truth is, domesticated rabbits cannot live outside. Those people that do that should be dumped outside. I always say animal abusers should get the exact thing that happened with the they do. But that isn't even that they don't think they're abusing. They're just being dumb. People get bunnies for Easter, and then they put them in the park.

And then they're like, oh, you'll go be a bunny. Go live happily ever after. So it was... So Stephen, Howard, my husband names all the fosters that come in. Stephen was an Easter dump. And then around the same time, I got a call from my vet that's a breeder, dropped off a kitten that was, I guess they dropped her or stepped on her, and her spinal cord was injured.

And she couldn't go to the bathroom on her own, and she was damaged. damaged, good. So they asked her to be euthanized. So my vet called me and said, this cat came, and I said, well, she's not getting euthanized. She's coming to our house. To this day, I have to, I have to manually express, squeeze her bladder because she can't go on her own three times a day. Same.

Anyway. I'm really good at it. So. I mean, I've expressed, I mean, this, I'm not joking. I've had to express a dog's anus before. Anal glands. Yeah, me too. It's like two o'clock.

And for those of you that don't have dogs, that is actually something you're supposed to do every once in a while. It's not like I'm doing this recreational. It smells so bad, animal glands. But how do you express a cat's bladder or is just the bunny's bladder? No, this is the kitten's bladder. I flip her, I put her on the litter box. Her legs are in the litter box. Her front paws are on the front, and I have to, with my hand underneath,

and I have to fish around for the bladder and you squeeze it all out. It must be so good for Coco. Yeah, yeah. Just on behalf of Coco, I want to tell you how good it feels. She loves it. We have a very, like, she's tethered to me. So I brought her home. Yes.

And they happened to be behind a glass store in my foster room, and they were drawn to each other immediately. It's amazing. I went to the pet store, and I said, I've never had a rabbit before. I need bunny. Oh, no, I didn't say that. I said, I need rabbit food.

And she recognized me, and she said, Isle 3. It was cat food, paté rabbit. So I'm like, cats and rabbits do not get along. because cats are supposed to eat rabbits. So I was really hesitant to let them meet. I opened the glass door. They have been best friends ever since.

That's amazing. But also, cats are incredibly manipulative. Do you think maybe Coco, this is like playing the long game here? You know what? She's met a bunch of other animals in my home, and she was really drawn to Steven. So I don't think there was any of that going on. It is truly a fascinating discussion about home.

who we are drawn to and why. And animals have that as well. Yeah. And you notice this connection. Well, they noticed the connection. The connection, when I opened the door, they started grooming each other. Now, this is what's so fascinating.

On her, her spinal cord injury is a very specific spot on her back. Stephen, to this day, three times, like every time I see him, three times I saw it today, he licks that spot. Isn't that amazing? He knows exactly where she was injured. Yeah. That's amazing. So beautiful to say, but they're the mayors of my foster room.

They're working right now. I read this to my kids, and I, you know, on the jacket here, you have an actual photo of them, a real photo. And I told my kids, I didn't show them the actual photo. And I said, hey, let, get through the book, and then I have a surprise for you, right? So we read the book, and then they go, like, what's the surprise? And I said, look, it's really them. They're real. They're real.

And my kids were like, we thought the surprise was ice cream. But it's amazing that it's real. Yeah, it's really... It's amazing, that's real. Is this supposed to be, like, be honest, like a metaphor for Democrats and Republicans coming together? It's just a bunny and a kitten falling in love. Talk to me.

I think I'm jaded by this job, possibly. You fostered over 3,000 animals. Talk to me a little bit about North Shore Animal League America and how you got involved with it. Yeah, they're the world's largest no-kill rescue organization. I've been working with them when I was working in New York City many, many years ago, I was modeling and I wanted to spend my weekends

volunteering for an organization. They've been my heart and soul for all these years. My husband and I helped facilitate in building a cage-free environment for the felines. It's called Bianca's furry friends after our dog that we had. And so I've been working with them

and helping them and loving them all these years and all of the proceeds from my book, all of my author's proceeds, are going to save more lives for them. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that. It's important, and I can relate to this. When you're modeling, it's important to find other things to do.

A lot of people reach out to you with problems they want you to solve. Yes. All animal problems or, you know, how do you manage that? Because inherently your heart is open all the time, but you have to say no. I mean, right? The problem is it's mostly the answer. Animals aren't the problem. It's the people.

So it's how to relay that you're the problem. The animal's not the problem. Let me figure out what's wrong with you and how we can make this work. And if it's not working, I really try my best. I only have a certain amount of bathrooms in my home. Howard's closet, you name it, filled with animals. No, it's not.

But so I hope that I can guide people and help them, but I can't help them all. But I really feel that I'm able to assist in trying to find a solution. But really, I can't ignore. When somebody reaches out to me, because I know there's an animal involved who needs us, they're so innocent and breaks my heart.

I'm just so appreciative that you're a public figure, your husband's a public figure, and you could just sit back. And the fact that you're using your status to help anything that needs help, I think, is commendable, and I commend you for it. You talk a little bit about having a pet truly, there is a commitment there.

That's an important part of this. Yeah, back to the Easter dump. I always feel when somebody writes to me, oh, can I adopt one of your kittens? I want to give it to my wife for her birthday. I do not believe in giving an animal as a gift. This is a situation where you have to have a family meeting and you have to discuss it.

Who's going to take care of him? Who's going to love him? Who's going to be just there for him? Who's he going to sleep with? Who's going to feed him? Who's going to take him outside? Dogs need to go outside, as you know, three, four times a day.

And it has to be a family decision, and then as a family, you choose and you rescue whoever you want. But it has to be, because it's a commitment for the animal's entire life, which could be 20, 25 years. Who's going to express this dog's ass? Yeah. You. Me. Yeah.

Where are we in the United States with our current adoption, pet adoption system? Is it working? Is it not working? I think it's so sad because there are so many animals in the shelter system. I am so fortunate that I'm able to foster. So if you can open your heart and home to getting, to helping two animals, the one that you're fostering and opening up space, I think that's the key, but just also stop going to pet stores, which I think we're getting there. I really do.

People are opening their eyes, like, wow, there are shelters filled with pure breads. people and I am only going to a breeder because I want that whatever the bulldog well guess what I work with bulldog rescue there's a thousand bulldogs who need homes so if there is a golden doodle that you want there are breed specific rescues so I think that's really important too and you can foster right if because one thing that I think plays into this is people think they want an animal and maybe that commitment word comes up and then they don't know what to do right and they get

scared. And some of the foster agencies, I mean, I had a friend say, can I use you as a reference? I want to adopt a dog. I mean, they called me, they talked me for an hour and a half about this guy. And I go, wait, but having a baby, you just have sex once in the back of a car. Can the agencies be too strict? I don't think anybody's ever too strict. I just think they're handing over a life to somebody. And if you adopt a kitten from me, it's a very extensive process. It's you have to fill out a 10-page application. You have to send me home photos. You have to talk to me on the phone.

I call your vet. I call your mother. I call your references. I know everything about you by the time I hand this life over to your family. So that to me is a good thing when shelters or organizations are that. Yeah, diligent. Yeah. You want the animal.

You talk about in the book, but you want the animal this to be their forever home. Forever. Yeah. That's my goal. And if it's not, all of my animals are welcome back. And that doesn't happen often that when it does, one of my adopters passed away recently. The family, unfortunately, couldn't take them because they ended up being allergic. And so they're always welcome back into my program.

I think that's important to share, because if people get overwhelmed with it, you know, you think they wouldn't. But if they do, they can always go back to you or most shelters probably and say, this isn't working. Yeah, absolutely. I do have in my contract that if you can't keep the animal. Well, it comes back to me, but I really like to explore family members, too. Right. One big thing I'm seeing is people are, when they're passing away, they don't have anybody designated to take their pets.

So if you have a pet really try to have that figured out if the unthinkable happens. Yeah, it's smart. It's really, yeah, I think it's so many animals come my way or they're left an apartment in an apartment because the family didn't want to deal with them. Right, right, right. I have to share with you my adoption story. Please. So my dog, Walter, he's a little 13-pound Havonese schnauzer.

Nobody knows what he is. I was driving in Los Angeles, south on Las Yenega, turned left on Beverly, checking my Instagram, as you do in Los Angeles while you're driving. While you're driving. And the shelter posted a picture of this adorable dog, and I took an illegal U-turn. I went in there. I scooped him up. He's been in our family now for 11 years.

I brought him with me. Does anybody want to meet Walter? He folds up really easy. He can just put... No, he's kind of, like, overwhelmed with this whole thing. Come here, buddy. This is Walter, all right? This is Walter.

Yeah. So, he was sleeping. Imagine if you were sleeping, and then you woke up and you were on TV. Oh, I'm sorry. Is this boring you? No, and I just can't... Tell me what he is to you.

Yeah, he just... brings me so much joy and love, and I love that my kids care about him and want to feed him. You know, he's the only other boy in the house of my wife and the two girls, and, you know, sometimes we just kind of bro out. Every time I put on Frozen for the 50th time I hear Walter go, like, are you fucking kidding me? The joy that an animal brings to your home, I feel like this, I feel this audience is feeling it, And I know a lot of you have pets at home, and you understand what you say. It brings such a joy.

One thing I want to share, which I know you feel this way, too. But, you know, we are divided. We're not connecting enough as humans. Having a dog, having a pet, it gets me outside every morning. I don't just walk past my neighbors. I know my neighbors. I talk to my neighbors. And that is one really a wonderful benefit of having a dog, at least.

Yeah. Cats, of course, won't let you walk them outside. and they'll push you outside and then lock the door. When Howard and I would walk our bulldog, we called Bianca the mayor of the Upper West Side, where we live. And Howard knew everybody's dog's name, and he wouldn't look at the people. He'd only say, hey, Charlie, hey, and it did it.

But it brought, it just brings you together. Hi, Waffle. Hi, soy. Let's wrap this up. But what is one thing we all need to know about animal rescue? One thing that you want to share with us about what the work you do are animals in general. Yeah, again, go to your local shelter. If you're looking to expand your family and you're saving two lives, the one that you're adopting and you're opening up room for another one to be saved.

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for all the work that you do. Coco and Stephen Together Forever is available now to learn more about North Shore Animal League America. Check out the QR code below. Bethster. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show. wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central,

and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.