The Daily Show: Ears Edition - President Obama Gets Elected to Office | TDS Time Machine

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

The Daily Show jumps in our time machine and heads back to the day after the United States elected its first Black president, Barack Obama, into office in 2008. Host Jon Stewart covers this historic political moment before John Oliver joins to report on his search for the new White House pet. Also, Jon sits with Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace to discuss the network's response to the momentous occasion and Wallace’s thoughts on seeing a Black man elected president.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire. And this season we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie, Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire the official Survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York. This is the Daily Show is John Stewart. Nice to see it.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you. Hey, my name is John Stewart. Welcome to the Dago. Thank you so much. I don't know what's gotten into everybody. Did you guys hear? It looks like the Mets and the Tampa Bay Rays are in.

They're in some trade talks. Oh, by the way, did you the craziest thing about what's going on in New York today? Can I tell you the craziest thing about what's going on in New York today? It's the weirdest feeling on the streets today. There's this thing going on that I haven't seen before. It's called eye contact. As you walk the streets of New York City, people are making eye contact and they're nodding and smiling.

What is this? What is this? The 1800s people? There's a weird, I'm literally afraid that someone on the street is going to invite me over for pie. It's this weird spirit of something or other that's going on. I don't... I don't care for it. You know what? Yes, you can, but no, I don't have to. Now, tonight's guest is Chris Wallace. We're very excited about that.

Chris Wallace will be joining us. He's the fellow who puts the news in Fox News. Uh, it's... Somebody's got to. They've got plenty of Fox. Really an historic night last night. You may have heard Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. Sorry Nixon, releasing one self-produced rap album doesn't make you black.

I'm not a crook, yo. All right. Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50% of the votes since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected to the White House since John F. Kennedy, the first Muslim to be... I've said too much. As soon as the results were final, Barack Obama received a congratulatory call from still President Bush, who told him, quote, what an awesome night for you. Laura and I called to congratulate you and your good bride. I could have just said wife. I could have just said wife, but this being an official statement and all, I figured I'd

make it weird. Anyway, y'all should come over to my family building at food eating time. We'd hang out the word trade. Oh, oh, Bush impression. I'll miss you the most. You know what I'm going to do? I got to work on my Obama. All right, I'm going to work on my Obama.

You ready? Here we go. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. I've only had a day, so. Last night Barack Obama won the popular vote by a margin of 52% to 46% and currently the electoral vote by 364 to 173. So, basically, a 6% popular vote, a 6% popular vote, victory translates into a 2 to 1st-1 electoral college drubbing, basically a 6% popular vote, victory, translates into a 2-1 electoral college drubbing, proving once again that the electoral college makes perfect sense.

It's as sound as it was when that shipload of mentally defective orangutans washed ashore and designed it. But of course, along with the... Oh, put that thing away. Right turn, Clyde. Along with the Electoral College, the big star of the night with the news networks and their magnificent technology. For 24-hour news channels, election night is Christmas, Hanukkah, and your parents getting divorced all at once. In other words, toys. So on a night that actually needed no jazzing up, there were a few sites that made you ask

in our new segment, why? We begin with MSNBC where, why was Chuck Todd descending into madness while addressing the Imperial Senate? Why was Ann Curry trapped with the magic graft tundas floor-mounted info tubes? And why are those guys painting a map on an ice skating rink? And now to make Indiana blue for the first time since 1976, Christie, I'm a Gucci. But above all, CNN.

Why? I want you to watch what we're about to do because you've never seen anything like this on television. Hi, Wolfe. All right, a big round of applause. We did it. There she is. Jessica Yellin. I know you're in Chicago, but we've done something, a big round of applause. We did it. There she is. Jessica Yellin, I know you're in Chicago, but we've done something, a hologram, we beamed you in.

Yeah, Jessica, we could have had your image crystal clear on one of those 10-foot-high HD plasma screens we have. Yeah, Jessica, we could have had your image crystal clear on one of those 10-foot-high HD plasma screens we have all around the studio, but I like this weird, unbelievably distracting, mortal combat video game thing we decided to do. But of course that technology did come in handy later with an exclusive interview they had with Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. A thousand miles away, but it looks like you're right here. Tell us what's going on in Chicago right now. Are you Sarkana? Are you Sarkana? But you know we mocked

these technological advances. They are actually very useful in election analysis. Show us quickly why we haven't called Pennsylvania yet. Because we don't have any votes. As I have just shown you with budget. Across the country in Grant Park, Chicago Barack Obama took the stage before a quarter of a million delirious supporters and Oprah Winfrey, who had actually purchased this white man to lean on during the speech. Everybody look under your chairs, you get a white guy to lean on, you get a white guy to lean on. You get a white guy to lean on. And finally, victorious. You get a white guy to lean on. You get a white guy to lean on. You get a white guy to lean on.

And finally, finally, victorious Barack Obama delivered the latest, greatest speech of his life, making sure to acknowledge those who had helped him along the way. And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life. Ladies and gentlemen, William Ayers. How are we going to make this shit funny? During his speech, Barack Obama singled out a specific voter he had met to reaffirm

the significance of the evening. Anne Nixon Cooper is a hundred and six years old. She was born just a generation past slavery. She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen and cast her vote. Truth is she touched a toaster oven. We told her she had voted. She's very old. And a McCain supporter. We didn't want it to vote. Jason Jones was in Chicago for the speech, quite a moving story about Anne Nixon people.

Don't you? All that she had seen in her life. All the changes that she had seen in America in her life. It was very moving. It was, John. But let's not forget about another group who never thought they'd lived to see this day. I'm talking of course about elderly, unrepentant racists. Racists like 98-year-old Billy Ray Chambliss. The grandson of a plantation owner who's seen so, so much. Baseball ruined by Jackie Robinson. Rosa Parks, taking the prestige and joy out of bus travel. Arnold and Willis destroying the Drummond family. What you talking about, Jason? Well, Mr. S. I'm talking about

people who despite their lack of education and accomplishments still hold on to the idea that they are the clearly superior race. Yes, Mr. Chambliss never thought he'd lived to see this day. Didn't want to, and quite frankly shouldn't have. What was Mr. Chambliss's reaction upon hearing this news? He actually doesn't know yet. Not much of a reader. And last night, he was watching a dealer no deal marathon.

Or is he likes to call it the Pretty Girls Suitcase Show. But I can tell you he was really, really pissed off. A black guy won that too. Thank you very much, Jason. Thank you. We'll be right back. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about? It? th. It? th. It? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It's? It's? It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's the th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the weekly. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls?

We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the program. Senator Barack Obama's speech was heard by millions, but the speech had special meaning, two of its youngest listeners. Sasha and Malia, I love you both more than you can imagine.

And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. Wow. That is so weird. That is the same deal I had with my father. You will get a dog when I become president of the United States. Of course, the search for a new White House pet can mean only one thing. This is set to be a long hard-fought contest. Who is set to be America's first pooch come January. For more, we go to John Oliver on the campaign trail. John.

Who is in the running? Who can you go? This here is Mr. Jingles. He is a dog. And Mr. Jingles threw his collar into the ring early this morning on his walkies. Now just a little about what Mr. Jingles might bring to the White House. He's running very much on a pro biscuit anti bath platform. When it comes to the Rose Garden, hit to dig, baby dig. That's a decent candidate right there. Who else is running? Who else is going to be going there? Because that's clearly a very strong contender.

Is there- Well, John, we also have a buster here. Chihuahua. Well, that is true. There has never been a Chihuahua in the White House. Is America ready for a dog, thuuuuuuuuuuuu, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to be to be, to be, to be, to be too- tho- their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too hard to say we'll have to wait and see. What we must remember is all these candidates have been thoroughly vetted. You get it? You get it? You get it?

You get it? You get it? No, I get it. I don't see you smiling, John. Yeah, no, I'm not smiling. Only because it I didn't, yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. If you didn't get it. Only because it, I didn't, yeah, no, I'm not smiling right now. It's not, didn't seem, but, well, who is that? Who is that right there that you have?

Oh, this is Mittens, and lots of people have been talking about her. But that's a cat, John, that she's going to donate it to a candle at the end of the campaign. Besides, look at her. She had a litter just five weeks ago. You couldn't tell. This is one sexy cat. Well, thank you, John Oliver. It looks like it'll be a perfectly spirited contest. Is it?

You're not smiling. Well, thank you very much. John Oliver. Great report. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.

I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the program, Chris Wallace. Young man. How are you? I am great. And I want to say, in the celebration of the Obama victory, because I know you're going to make jokes about Fox News that we're not happy about Obama.

Not at all. And in the effort to bring us all together, I have brought you a present. It was very excited. I have brought you a present. Yes, because what happened? Just give me the present. No, it's a little buildup. Last night, Carl Rowe came? Who?

Who? ? cookies. The cookies in the shape of a little Fox News, can somebody come in close, wide-screen TV? There you go. And I'm giving you, and it's interesting because he gave me two, but he said, this one specifically give to John Stewart. So John, eat the cookie. to theat me. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you while I'll eat it.

Carl Rove can't hurt me anymore. Wow. Call Rove by sh-hve buy cookies. I'm just counting until it takes a fact. Three, two. Free market capitalism is the only way to go. We must keep America safe.

The Democrats cannot do that. The cookies work. Exactly. Is it, is it, what's going on over there today? How long do you sit, Shiva? At Fox News. Can I tell you something? No. I have to say this, yourself, Shep Smith, you, Shep Smith,

you, Shep Smith, wait, hold on. You're going to get me in trouble if Fox and No, no, no, you and Shep Smith, you and Shep Smith both have your moments. Yes. Have your moments. We're all very happy except for Sean Hannity, who's too busy in the bathroom crying. Oh, oh. I felt so badly for him. And the last week, bless their hearts, they tried so hard. I mean, I mean the network, not you.

Acorn was a legitimate story. Let me show, this is a little, this is a little compendium of like the last two days on Fox News. Just like very good. Watch this. Obama and friends, the history of radicalism. Now tonight we are bringing you an entire hour of Barack Obama's questionable relationships. Well, Senator Obama deliberately bankrupt the coal industry if he becomes president. This Rashid Khalidi send-off that Barack Obama gave. We are just hours away from Election Day and the Reverend Jeremiah Wright is back in the news. At 11 o'clock this morning, what we're going to find out is whether or not his half-ant

is registered to vote. Oh my gosh. Because if she is, that would be embarrassing. Let me just say, I honestly believe... Questions that you only saw only on Fox News? No, it is, what what happens now to Fox News? Do they lose their chairmanship? What happens? Are you, what happens to their Do they lose their chairmanship? What happens? What happens to their belief in executive power, in executive privilege? How do they, what's going to happen? What's going to happen?

Is it going to be hard to turn that around? Listen, you didn't see our coverage because you and No, I did see. You and Stephen Colbert were crying at 11 o'clock when they announced the president. Yes, imagine people having human emotions to a historic moment. Imagine a country coming full circle from slavery and that affecting me on a deeply personal level. Coming over, coming up. Coming up. and that affecting me on a deeply personal level. Coming over, coming over here seemed like such a good idea 45 minutes ago. You know, can I tell you those, I really do appreciate what you do over there?

I do worry about them because that last week, they seemed, there seemed to be panic in the air. Let me just say, I worry about you, that William Ere's joke, bombed. No! I'm telling you, this crowd is not th th th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that that that's that theee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. the. Let me just say I worry about you that that William Ayers joke bombed. No! I'm telling you this crowd is not ready. Well actually that's a good line. I was going to say it bombed. I think that's what they're reacting to. Incidentally I hear he's going to be a member of the Obama cabinet secretary of Homeland Security. Settle down. Can I tell you this so? He actually gave an interview the interview an interview an interview an interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the interview the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. that he's that he's that he's that he's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.oooom. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I barely knew the guy. I don't know what to say. Like, he wished that he knew him better. But, um... But did you notice that he showed up at 8 o'clock when everybody in the world was around the voting, the polling booth?

Do you think that was just an accident on William Ars Park? No, I think Barack probably called him likethen he said, Are they going to keep the fair and balance thing or hasn't that? You think they'll... Yes, of course we're going to keep it. Do you really think that Barack Obama is not going to mess up like every other politician who ever led? But I tell you this, and this is the thing that gives me hope. For the first time since I can't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi this is the thing that gives me hope for the first time since I can remember and this includes the Clintons. Somebody is speaking in a manner that matches my sensory perception. In other words, like

for the past eight years and even further back than that, I would walk outside and go oh it's 60 degrees there's a light breeze I could wear a light jacket it's a lovely day and then I'd turn on a Fox network and they. and they. they. they. they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to to to thi. I'd to to th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told told. Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody. I'm told. I'm told. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm te. tell tell tell tell the tell tell you the tell the tell the tell you tell you to tell to to then I'd turn on a Fox network and they'd go, it's snowing. And I'd think, wow, that doesn't match my perceptive reality. This guy speaks, I recognize him as human. He wears his frailty on a...is anything? Is is it exciting? Are you excited? I am excited? I am excited. I mean, first of all, anybody who was a child of the civil rights movement and of the 60s, the idea that an African-American to watch that family walk out there last night and to think that is going to be the first family of the United States, a beautiful black woman. And look like they belong in a Sears photography studio cube. Crazy. And beautiful children and a handsome, strong, smart, self-confident, black man.

I never thought I would see it in my life. And I think it's wonderful for the country. It couldn't happen anywhere else in the world. It would be like the French suddenly electing an Algerian as president. No, seriously. It is an extraordinary thing. I hope he does great. Right. Can I tell you something?

He probably won't, but, and then we'll cover it, and either way. Listen, I don't mean that part of it. They all mess up. But for a second there, if I may? Yes, you've recognized a human emotion. You look like you were welling up. Fox News Sunday are Sunday mornings on your local Fox station, Chris Wallace! Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Survivor 47 is here which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official survivor podcast on fire and this season we are joined by fan favorite and survivor 46 runner-up Charlie Davis to bring you even further inside the action Charlie I'm excited to do this together. Thanks Jeff so excited to be here and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a survivor player for season 47 Listen to on fire the official survivor podcast starting September 18th wherever you get your podcasts