The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Reclusive Madman: The Kim Jong Un Files

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is meeting with Vladimir Putin this week, but before Putin…there was Trump. Trevor covers the historic nuclear summit meeting between Kim Jong Un and President Trump, who lavished the dictator with praise and gave him a sweetheart diplomatic deal.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You're listening to Comedy Central. Donald Trump got a new best friend. Global Stunner, the president agrees to meet face to face with North Korea's leader, something no president has ever done. The decision to meet came suddenly and dramatically. Once President Trump heard that Kim Jong-un wanted to meet with him, he quickly agreed. The president was ecstatic, poking his head into the White House briefing room to announce that something big was about to happen. This is the cutest story I've heard about about to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the to to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to to the to to to face to face to to face to to the the the their face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face their face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face the their the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their the White House briefing room to announce that something big was about to happen.

This is the cutest story I've heard about Trump in a long time. He was so excited Kim Jong-un wanted to meet him that he was running around the White House telling everyone. It's like, did you guys hear? I said, yes. Rocketman, never had a lover like this before. Now, a sitting US president meeting with the leader of North Korea is like a Sesame Street episode about group sex. It's never happened.

Which is why, which is why, oh you can look at that for a moment, you can enjoy that. They have needs too, you know. It's natural. Which is why, like that. They have needs too, you know. It's natural. Which is why, like that Sesame Street episode, nobody rarely knows if it's a good idea. A lot of us feel that Kim Jong-un is a bully who needs to be handled by another bully. I am highly skeptical of the idea of meeting with the head of a Gulag state in handing over legitimacy. He's not prepared, Jonathan, that's the problem. There's no one at the idea of meeting with the head of a Gulag state in handing over legitimacy. He's not prepared, Jonathan. That's the problem.

There's no one at the State Department to brief him. There's, we have no ambassador to South Korea. Will he be prepared? We don't know. But, Donna, you have to admit that the previous White House, and the one before that had some of the most well-prepared, brilliant foreign policy minds that we've ever seen, and it was failure. Ooh, that's a really good point. The experts have been trying to solve North Korea for 20 years, and it's only gotten worse. So if the smart people can't do it, why not try Trump?

It's like if you had a rare disease that the world's top doctors couldn't cure, so you were like, you know what, why not let that dog in a hat give it a try? Yeah. How did he even get that hat? He's got to be pretty smart. Now many foreign policy experts have concerns about sending such an unpredictable negotiator into a nuclear arms discussion. But don't forget, that unpredictability throws off the other side too.

North Korean state media, which we have been monitoring very, very closely since this announcement first came out a couple days ago about this potential meeting, hasn't mentioned it. The North Koreans have been so eerily quiet on the topic. President Trump has an unorthodox foreign policy, and I think he took the North Koreans by surprise, just like everyone else. Yeah, you see, North Korea made the offer, but they didn't think that Trump was going to say yes. So now they also don't know what to do. Yeah, it's like if cat calling actually worked. It was like, hey, sexy, my mustache is lonely, want to take it for a ride? And the woman's like, boss, but I have all these nails to hammer.

Okay, bye-bye now. So look, I know it's easy to presume the worst because Trump is basically a nuclear knowledge free zone, but what if he gets this right anyway? What if he goes to North Korea? Doesn't say anything racist? Even bonds with Kim because they go to the same supercuts? And then they reach a historic agreement to get to get to get to get to thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-n, tho th no th no th no th no th no th no th now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to tho to to the to thoooooooooa tooa toooooooooooooooooo tho tho tho tho tho th because they go to the same supercuts, right? And then they reach a historic agreement to get rid of North Korea's nukes. That would be amazing.

We'd celebrate. Until President Trump gets home and we realize he forgot to sign the last page. We'll be right back. Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea might be making some new friends. Breaking news. Historic development on the Korean Peninsula. North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un and South Korea's president will hold a summit next month. These two nations have only held talks twice since the Korean war.

The South Korean president will meet with him next month. President Trump is hoping to meet with him in May, and now the Japanese are saying they're trying to reach out through different diplomatic channels. Kim Jong-un might feel like the prettiest girl at the high school dance. Oh, that's one ugly-ass high school dance. Woo! But this is good but this is good news for everyone. Kim Jong-un has gone from being a reclusive madman who is hell bent on blowing up the world. to a super social madman hell bent on blowing up the world. This is good, this is good. And this announcement comes just a day after Kim made a secret trip to China

for a summit with President Xi. Now, I say it was a secret trip, and they try to keep it under wraps, but there was one tiny, giant clue. A mysterious thea. A mysterious tha. A mysterious tha. A tha. A tha. A motorcade, heavy security and near lockdown in downtown Beijing this morning, where a North Korean train unexpectedly pulled into the city last night. The distinctive green train is identical to the heavily armored one used to carry Kim Jong-un's father to Beijing eight years ago. It is pretty clear that someone, very senior from North Korea is in Beijing.

Is North Korea's Kim Jong-un in China? Oh, yes. Who could have been traveling in Kim Jong-un's personal train? This is like the most obvious mystery of all time. It's like needing Shazam to find out who's singing a two-chain song. It's like, two chains! I wonder who sings it. I just said my name, two chains! I wonder if it's Jay-Z. No, I said it, two chains! I love how everyone is trying to figure out who is on Kim Jong-un's train. Like just follow the tracks. They go back to his house. Do they come from North Korea? Then it's him.

Like, these are the same people who would be like, who's that old man riding on the Pope Mobile? You get one guess, all right? Like, you can't be low-key if you're rolling in your own personal train. Like, it must be super hard for Kim, I had the train schedule. It says 7.15 to Denise's house. You're busted. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience.

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zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter, the smartest way to hire. It's been said that nice guys finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India

on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-deviring egos, and we'll delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. For decades, North Korea has been one of the world's biggest challenges.

A rogue nation, armed with nuclear weapons. In fact, when Barack Obama handed off the presidency to Donald Trump, he told him that North Korea would be the biggest challenge. A rogue nation, armed with nuclear weapons. In fact, when Barack Obama handed off the presidency to Donald Trump, he told him that North Korea would be the biggest problem... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thia thi. thi. the the the the the thi. the thi. the app the the app the app the app. the app. the app. the app. the app. the the the app. the app. the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the told him that North Korea would be the biggest problem that he would face. Now, of course, back then, Obama didn't know that Trump had sex with Stormy Daniels, but that's not his fault. Anyway, just a couple of months ago, people feared that nuclear war was on the horizon. But now, North and South Korea could be preparing to announce a permanent end to the Korean War

after a 65-year ceasefire. President Trump giving his blessing to a new round of peace talks between North and South Korea. They've been very generous that without us and without me in particular, I guess, you would have to say that they wouldn't be discussing anything, including the Olympics would have been a failure and said it was a great success. You know, you know, I know our first instinct is to hate, and it's also weird that Trump makes it all about himself, but, but Trump is right. If it wasn't for his craziness,

North Korea would have never come to the table. You know, that's who he is. So this seems like actual progress. And we also learned, we just learned in fact, that the Trump administration has been sliding into Kim Jong's DM's. Stunning news tonight, word that CIA director Mike Pompeo secretly met with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un just a few weeks ago. Just yesterday, the White House said it doesn't comment on the CIA director's travel. The president writing, meeting went very smoothly and a good relationship was formed. Wow, this is big news.

Things are really changing between the U.S. and North Korea's thrown. CIA chief Mike Pompeo secretly met with Kim Jong-un, which is a big deal because it's been almost 18 years since North Korea's leader met with a high-level American. Not high level high level. Okay? Like, the last time this type of meeting happened, it was the year 2000. You realize back then Kim Jong-un hadn't even adopted his signature hairstyle yet.

He was still rocking the Rachel. This is way back. And I will say, in this whole story, in this whole story, it's so funny to see how excited President Trump is about finally getting something right. Because as you heard, everyone who works for Trump was trying to keep the Kim Jong-un meeting under wraps. But Trump being Trump just couldn't keep it to himself. He tweeted about it and then just watching the way Trump couldn't hold it in is probably the funniest thing I've seen all day. Who in the administration has talked with North Korea directly, sir?

Have you been speaking directly with him? Yes. Oh wow. He was trying so hard. He was trying so hard, but he couldntrying so hard but he couldn't help here. You could see he was like, be presidential, be presidential, be presidential. Yes. Yes, we talked to him. Three p.

Three p. I'm sorry, can we just play that one more time? Can we play one time? Who in the administration has talked with North Korea directly, sir? You can speak directly with him? Oh man, it almost gets better the more you watch it. Because like this is funny, the whole point of a secret meeting is that you're not supposed to tell anyone.

If you're in the CIA, you must dread sharing information with Donald Trump. And be like, sir, I finished my secret mission. Trump is like, okay, hold on. You guys won't believe who's here. It's Jason Bourne. Jason Bourne is here, everybody. Okay, where were we? Sorry about that. Like, for a guy who owns casinos, Trump has no poker at all.

It's probably why all his places fail, right? He was probably training all these dealers like, now what you want to do is when you get a bad card, you go, eww. What a historic day. North Korea and the United States meeting for the first time ever. And this is right up there with all the other great moments in diplomacy. I mean, Reagan and Gorbachev, Arafat and Rabin, Starbucks and Black people. I mean, this is huge. And before we even start, we've all got to admit that we were wrong, right?

We said the man couldn't do it. We said his temper would blow up the summit, but yesterday he proved everyone wrong and turned the nuclear summit in Singapore into a huge win for himself. So let's swallow our pride and give it up for a leader who's much smarter than we thought. Kim Jong-un everybody. Give it up for Kim Jong-un. Huh? Huh? Because I mean, no, let's be honest people. This dude crushed it yesterday. I know everyone's focus is going to be on Trump, but this summit belonged to Lil Kim. He was the bell of the ball.

Think about it, the government paid, right? The government of China paid for his private plane. The government of Singapore paid for his hotel. And the president of the United States flew to meet him on his side of the world. This guy was treated like the world's biggest diva. He probably had one of those riders in his contract that said said no green M&Ms in the dressing room. He was like, you take out all the green M&Ms and you send them to a labor camp.

Mm-hmm. I mean, think about, it's just crazy to think that just a few months ago, Kim Jong-un was universally detested, right? Nobody wanted anything to do with him. On the subway down in Singapore, the panties came flying off. From the Hermit Kingdom to the grand stage, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un soaking up the Singapore spotlight. I did not expect to see the Supreme Leader coming by. It was an amazing sight. I couldn't quite believe that this was really happening.

On a tour about Town Monday, to theem taking selfies with his host. The ruthless tyrant cheered on by spectators, getting the rock star treatment. Yo, fame turns people into such idiots. Because one minute, people are like, did you hear that Kim Jong-un slaughter's entire families and imprisons their children? It's one, oh my god, it's him, Kim! Can we take a selfie? He looked at me, oh my god, this is the best day of my life. People are screaming for a brutal tyrant, like he's the newest member of BTS. Like, except in this world, K-pop stands for killing populations. Like, what are you doing?

I mean, even Kim Jong-un is probably surprised by this. He's like, I'm used to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to screaming to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream to scream this reaction. He's like, I'm used to screaming but not happy screaming. What is this? And there was no one in Singapore who wasn't impressed with Kim's famous running bodyguards. Kim creating quite a spectacle. Those bodyguards keeping pace alongside his limo, handpicked by the dictator. The men chosen for their fitness, and even their looks. You know, if you need running bodyguards, I understand choosing people for their fitness, but for their looks?

Why does he care? Was Kim Jong-un gazing out of the window one time, and he was like, ugh, who's that guy? Oh, from now on, Huddy's only. That is a hard job, though, you have to admit. And the good news for these guys is that now Kim Jong-un is a celebrity, which means they're all going to become more famous too. In fact, I think it's only a matter of time until they all get their own sponsorship deals.

People ask me, why do you run? Why do you train so hard? People ask, why you? I say, because he only picks the fittest and best looking. People ask me, why don't you just ride in the car too? I tell them, I don't know, I've asked. Kim likes his space, I guess. I need to get a pair of those. But it turns out, Kim's biggest admirer wasn't in those crowds outside. No, fanboy number one was right there at the summit. Earlier before their historic sit-down in Singapore, the two leaders sizing each other up

with a handshake. Yeah, you heard that right. President Trump said meeting Kim Jong-un was his great honor. I mean, then again, when you've appeared in a McDonald's commercial talking to grimace, everything seems like an honor. I get it. But this alone, this alone is what North Korea has been pining for for decades, right? Equal standing with the American

President, shaking hands, their flags side by side. Some may have seen that and thought, oh, Trump's being nice for now, but when he gets Kim alone in that room, he's going to de-nuke his nuts off. But it turns out, only one man lost his nuts. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, too, their, their, toe, toe, their, toe, toe, their, their, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, their the.. too. too. too. the too. too. too. too. too. toe. toe, toe, toe, their, toe,nuke his nuts off. But it turns out, only one man lost his nuts in that room. Trump and Kim signed a joint document committing to work towards, quote, complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula. The agreement is short on specifics, like whether the denuclearization will be verifiable and irreversible. There's nothing new in this agreement.

These are vague assertions from North Korea. A piece of paper that got signed yesterday is frankly weak. I mean, this is not a strong piece of paper. So, hold up. Donald Trump flew across the world to Singapore, and all he got was Kim Jung-oom saying, I'll think about giving up my nukes. That's all he got. They could have done that over text.

Because because because because because because because because because. done that over text. Because you realize Kim didn't commit to anything. He basically Facebook RSVPed a nuclear deal. That's all he did. And while Kim gave up nothing major, he got the American president to give up a lot more. President Trump making a massive concession, agreeing to stop joint military exercises between the United States and South Korea, exercises that greatly annoyed the North Korean leader. South Korea caught off guard by the United States and South Korea, exercises that greatly annoyed the North Korean leader. South Korea caught off guard by the President's announcement, responding that they need to figure out the accurate meaning and intentions, their accurate meaning and intentions, their intentions, their accurateer.

Yeah, good luck. We've been trying to figure out Trump's accurate meaning and intention since the day he stepped off that escalator. Yeah. Like, Mexicans are a rapist? Does that mean they're rapists? But this is incredible. Kim Jong-un went up against the world's greatest negotiator. The man who literally hired someone to write the art of the deal and got him to give up something for nothing. It's almost like Kim Jong-un did a Jedi mind trick on Trump. You know, Trump was like, yes, I will stop military exercises, and I will also pick you up from the airport. It'll be fun.

Like Kim Jong-un, he owned this summit so hard. By the end, he'd even turned the leader of the free world into his personal hype man. Kim Jongun, as you know, has killed family members, has starved his own people. Why are you so comfortable calling him very talented? Well, he is very talented. Anybody that takes over a situation like he did at 26 years of age and is able to run it, and run it tough. Kim is a brutal dictator. He runs a police state, forced starvation, labor camps.

He's assassinated members of his own family. How do you trust a killer like that? His country does love him, his people. You see the fervor, they have a great fervor. I think they're going to end up with a very strong country, and a country which has people that they're so hard working, so thi so thi thi. thi. they they're so hard working, so industrious. So you saw people enslaved in labor camps and you thought, man, these people love their jobs.

Really, Donald? This is what happens when you're friends with Kanye West. I mean, and now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying President Trump shouldn't have negotiated with Kim Jong-un at all. But there's a big gap between being civil with the person and endorsing the Freddie Krug of of of of of of of of of th of th of th of th of th of th of tho tho thu of thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a th, th, th, th, thi thi thi-a-s, thi-s, thi-s, tha-s, tha-s. tha-s. tha'-siiiiiiiiia'-sa'-sa'-sa'-sa'-sa'-s there's a big gap between being civil with the person and endorsing the Freddie Kruger of Human Rights. The only part of that summit that didn't seem to go Kim's way is when Donald Trump slipped up and appeared to make a fat joke

about his new friend. There it is. Getting a good picture everybody, so we're nice and handsome, the thin. Beautiful. I think I was nice and handsome, thin, perfect. Yeah, the other one. Yeah, the other. Yeah, the look. You have to look. You have to look on Kim Jong-un's face.

It's like a scene out of the office. Like, he's just, you can see he's thinking, make him look face. It's like a scene out of the office. You can see he's thinking, make him look thin. You mean I'm not thin? Why didn't anyone tell me? Was it the death camps? Why don't you tell me? And I guess from Trump's perspective, this is what he got out of the whole summit.

Yeah, when he gets back, to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be like, Mr. President, you sold America down the river. And he'll be like, yeah, but did you see that fat joke? Worth it. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with zip recruiter. Zip recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.

At Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it. And you can use Zip Recruiters' pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five

employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address.ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Again that's zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter. The smartest way to hire. It's been said that nice guys finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without

being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos and will delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the I-Heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you listen tales. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. North Korea, when President Obama left office, he warned Donald Trump that Kim Jong-un's nuclear

threat would be his biggest challenge. Well that end learning to read, but mostly the nuclear challenge. And after Trump's second summit with the North Korean snowman, it turns out Obama may have been right. Breaking news, no deal. President Trump's high-stakes nuclear talks with Kim Jong-un suddenly break down overnight. President Trump, beginning an 8,000-mile journey home from Hanoi, empty-handed.

Sometimes you have to walk, and this was just one of those times. No concessions, no deal, no final photo up. A closing ceremony scheduled to celebrate an agreement scrapped. Even lunch was canceled, with the table already set. Wow. You know something must have gone wrong when these the table already set. Wow. You know something must have gone wrong when these two turned down lunch. Wow. Although, I bet after they left the room, Kim Jong-un came back and he was like, ah, can I get

this lunch to go please? There's a lot of hungry people in my country, and I want to eat this in front of them, yeah? But yes, after months of anticipation, nuclear talks between the U.S. and North Korea have completely broken down. And I don't know about you, but I was shocked because my boy Trump has been telling us that he and Kim Jong-un are good, and I mean like real good, we have a good chemistry together. Kim Jong-un. We have, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi and thi and thi and thi and the the the their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their tha, tha, thi thi thi thi thi thaugh, to to toooo, toooooo, their their their their their their their a good chemistry together. Kim Jong-un. We have a great chairman, Kim, we have a great chemistry.

I like him, he likes me, the relationship is good. We'll go back and forth, and then we fell in love. Okay? No, really. He wrote me beautiful letters. And they're great letters. We fell in love. You see, Trump and Kim fell in love. You see, you see Trump and Kim fell in love. And I know that sounds weird, but when you think about it, Kim Jong-un is totally

Donald Trump's type, right? All of Trump's best relationships are with people who are half his age and don't speak English. It works. That's when the relationship be best. That's what I'm saying. And I'll be honest, I'll be honest. When this summit started, it seemed like love was still in the air. The day started with the promise of a deal to get rid of the regime's nuclear weapons. President Trump and Kim Jong-un are really enjoying their alone time. The two leaders took a walk around the pool at the historic Metro Hotel. Kim for the first time took questions from the Western Press. Chairman, are you ready to the nuclear eye? If you're not willing to do that, I won't be here right now.

Oh wow, that's right. Things were going so well that for the first time ever, Kim Jong-un took a question from the Western press and he answered with swag. You heard him? I'm like you, you plan to do it he's like if I wasn't planning to do it I wouldn't be here yeah that's amazing that's progress because I mean in North Korea when a reporter asks him a question his response is usually great question feed him to the lions and then feed the lions to me they wouldn't give me that lunch to go so so if everything started out great what to the to the to the their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that toooo. that to to Well, it's the same thing that turns most relationships sour. They both just wanted different things. The U.S. was hoping for more concrete steps from Pyonyang towards a deal that is verifiable

and enforceable. There was a fundamental disagreement. Kim Jong-un wants the crushing sanctions on his country lifted before dismantling his nuclear program. Basically, they wanted the sanctions lifted in their entirety, and we couldn't do that. They were willing to denuke a large portion of the areas that we wanted, but we couldn't give up all of the sanctions for that. Ah, man, so that's what happened.

Kim wanted Trump to give everything up, but before he did, Trump wanted guarantees in exchange. Classic relationship dilemma. Yeah. Trump was like, Kim, if I'm going to open my trade to you, then we need to make this official. Kim was like, official, why we got to put labels on this, baby? We have fun, isn't that all that matters? Remember our trip to Singapore? Come on, man?

Then one's like, I know, but it's just, the people are saying you're taking advantage of me. I'm always flying to you, you're never flying to me. It's like, Donnie, Donnie, baby, I told you, man, once my economy, once, once, my, my, my, once, my, my, my, my, tha, I, I, I' tho, I' tho, I'll tho, I'll tho, I'll the, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll, I'll, I'll their, I'll, I'll their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll... I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their. trip. trip. trip. trip. trip. trip. trip. trip. tooom. too, remember, I'll remember, I'll their, I'll their, I'll to you all the time, man. He's like, I just don't understand why you won't let me check your nuclear sites. He's like, oh, you don't trust me, man? You don't trust me, Donny? I say there's no noukes, there's no noukes, man. You want to check my sights? Donnell was like, thi's te, thinne. I'm like, thinnethe-I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th, th's th's th's th's th's th's th's thin, th's thin, thin, th's th's th's th's thin, thin, th. There's thin, thin, thin, thin, th. There's th. There's there's there's th. There's there's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th's th's th's th's the. the. the? theeeee? theeeeeeeeeeeeeee? theeeeeeee? th, Kim, I need to build a wall around my heart. That's how it all went down. And now, even though Kim Jong-un made Trump fly to the other side of the world for nothing, Trump still believes that they can work things out. When we walked away, it was a very friendly walk.

We shook hands. We, you know, there's a warmth that we have. Now I hope that stays, I think it will. We will keep the relationship. We'll see what happens over the next period of time. Oh, shame, Donald. This is so tough to watch, man. Because we've all been there. We really have all been there.

You told your friends this was going to work out. And despite the warnings, you still carried on. And now you're trying to save face because you think everyone's judging you which we totally are. But instead of dragging this out, Donald, I think it's time to accept that maybe, just maybe, Kim is just not that into you. Explore more shows from the Daily Show from The Daily Show by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.

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