The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Ronny Chieng Thinks Summer Is the Worst Season. Prove Him Wrong.

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Ice cream. Vacations. Long walks on the beach. Ronny Chieng f**king hates it all. Summer is the worst season. Prove him wrong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Ice cream, vacations, long walks on the beach. I hate all that shit. What can to prove me wrong? Summer edition. Summer is the season where everyone's the happiest. Summer everyone gets to come outside. Summer is the one season, prove me wrong.

Well, I would say summer is the season where everyone's the happiest. During the summer, everyone gets to come outside. Everybody's shirt turns into a Roshak test. But during the summer when everyone's sweaty and gross, everyone's sweaty and gross. We're all equal during the summer. So you're making a Marxist argument for B. Oh during summer? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, sorry. This is the free world. The top 1% should not have B.O. How do you smell? Go ahead. Smell me. I dare you. Smell this shit right now. You smell like me. See, we're the same. That's not a compliment. Pools are better than oceans. Proof me wrong. Pools are stinky. They have nasty people that go in there. They just get in their funky bodies and they're sweaty cells and their plop up in there. Yeah, you think people don't pee and poop in the ocean?

Oh yeah. It's not just people, by the way. You think whales are coming on land to take a shit? Yeah, if they want to. No, they're not. They're shading in the ocean. It's whales, it's jellyfish. It's seals. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. It's everything. It's everything. It's everything. It's everything. It's everything. It's. It's. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's thioles. It's th th th th th th th th thi th th th thi thi th th thi thi thi thi thi thi that are trying to kill you. Do you have many shark sightings have been here this last week? There's five. Like did you see the shark? No? Interesting. Interesting. Oh, so your argument is I didn't see the shark so there's no fish and pools? For good luck out there.

I've never seen a shark at the beach myself. So what you're a shark denier? You can't get food from the pools either. There's no fish in pools, but in the ocean I'd be sustaining myself. Fresh coconuts? Fresh fish? You can't eat anything near the ocean. The sand gets in it. Protein. Put your money where your mouth is. This is food. This is your food on the beach.

Do it. That good enough for you? Okay, I got some bad news for you. There's no protein in sand. What's the fuck? That good enough for you? Okay, I got some bad news for you. There's no protein in sand. What's the fuck? Thanks for the fries. Thanks, brood.

Pigeons are better than seagulls. Pigeons are literal than seagulls, prove me wrong. Pigeons are literal like rats with wings. Genetically, they used to be white, but then out of like Darwinism and like after all these years they actually turn black to adapt to like certain environments and they're so gross. Why do you have to make this racial? We'll talk about pigeons pigeons versus seagulls, not why are pigeons black? How much. thian, but thian, but thian, but thian, but thian, but thian, but thi, but thi, but thi, but they, but they, but they, but they, but they they they they thi, but they thi, they thi, they they they thi, they thi, thi, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, togeeeeateateateateateateateateateatr-a theateateateateateateate,? No, but it's like just over time, like they start genetic, they used to be white, but genetically, over time they like- People have been canceled for less than that.

Popsicles are gross, I don't need to watch someone to fillet a dessert. Eating ice cream is gross enough, but at least you can't deep that's a lot of work. And there's lots of instances where you have to do things similarly to eating a popsicle. Do you work in show business? No, but popsicles are good, man. You got all different kinds of flavors. Like what?

50, 50 bars? You got an original pops, you got a bomb pops. None of those are flavors. Okay, so tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a Do you tell me what flavor that is? This is grape, and I actually really love grape, everybody hates on it, but it's so good. Grapes don't taste like that in real life, okay, the guy who created the flavor grape clearly has never had a grape before. Yeah, see, no, that's, that's, no, that's. You ate it like a pelican.

You didn't even chew it. It's sticking, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, that, that, thi. thi. that, that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tauooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's sticking to your beard now. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, see, that's no, man. Popsicles aren't gross. What's wrong? What did you got against popsicles? They're messy. They make my hands sticking. Why, you don't eat it fast enough?

Yeah. Can't put it in your mouth fast enough? Yeah. Okay, that's very experienced. Look, no mess. Look at. No mess. You ever still have my lip cloths on. Okay, you know what, that was actually, as much I want to hate on that, that was actually pretty impressive. I feel like you actually did prove me wrong. So you know what? What? What's happening?

All right? Is that what I win? You get to wear the golden thong. You have now earned the right to take my place. No, I'm good. Behind the prove me wrong. I'm wearing my own thong. You've clearly proven me wrong.

That golden thong is... That's what happens when you prove me wrong. No, no, it's okay. Take my spot. Watch the Daily Show, Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.