The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Roy Wood Jr. Breaks Down Trump's Arraignment | Cedric the Entertainer

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

Roy Wood Jr. recaps Trump’s arrest and his Mar-a-Lago speech. Dulcé Sloan investigates Melania’s curious absence and Cedric the Entertainer discusses directing the 100th Episode of his series “The Neighborhood.” Original Air Date: April 5, 2023See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Let's move on to the big story. Let's move on to the big story. The arrest of Donald J. Trump. Oh, you heard about it. Oh, you heard about it. Okay, I thought it was just a little, you know, little... Yesterday was a momentous day for Donald J. Trump. He was indicted for 34 it. Y'all heard about it. Okay, I thought it was just a little, you know, little...

Yesterday was a momentous day for Donald J. Trump. He was indicted for 34 counts of falsifying business records and also one count of clogging the courthouse toilet. They added that one at the last minute. So old Trump, he went down to the courthouse, looked around stupid for a couple of minutes, then fled on his private jet to Florida because as you all know Florida does not have an extradition treaty with the United States. He rolled up to Marlago and then he waved to a support us and then offered to put a thumb up their butt. What is this? Seriously? Who adds motion to a thumbs up? It's simple.

Just lock the elbow. Trump got to be the first person to add the jerk off motion to a thumbs up. Thanks so much for coming out. I really appreciate it. Wow. So then, after all of that, it was time for Trump to give us big speech. And, sidebar, why are people still going to Trump speeches? Like, I get it, I get it, that's your dude, but you know what he gonna say.

He said, he said, the same, Donald Trump is a comedian that ain't changed his act in years. You know what he gonna do. Liberal media be doing this. And Joe Biden, Joe Biden and them, they be doing this. Y'all know I ain't lying. Come on, now DJ Kicking. The only. The only. The only thing.

The only thing that changes year to year with Trump is who his enemy is. And for this fight, he's got two new ones. In a defiant speech at Marlago, the former president claimed he's a victim and targeted the prosecutor and judge in the case. They can't beat us at the ballot box, so they try and beat us through the law. The criminal is the district attorney. I have a trump-hating judge. the the the th. th. th. th. the th. thi, th- thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he thi, he thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, tre, tre, tre, tre, tre, tre, tre, tr- tru. Hea, tru. Hea, tru. He's tru. He's tru-s tru-s tru-s' tru-s' tru-s' true thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. beat us through the law. The criminal is the district attorney. I have a trump-hating judge with a trump hating wife and family. Who, you know, go to trial and talk shit about the judge. That's bold.

The judge could destroy you. He could destroy you and you're riling them up. You're about to fight cocaine bad. You don't offer him crack first. And he didn't just call out the judge. Trump called out the kids. You don't pull the kids. And even rappers don't go after the kids and they murder each other. And Trump said the man has a Trump-hating wife. But to be fair, to be fair, I don't even know if that was an insult because Donald Trump also has a Trump-hating wife. You know, you can't tell me Malaniania don't hate that man. If anything, this week was confirmation.

If y'all think, let me ask you this name. During Donald Trump's 45 minutes as a political prisoner, where was his wife? Many people noticed the former first lady, the former president's wife, Belania Trump, was not in attendance last night. His wife, former first lady, Melania Trump, she was not there. Among the guests were ardent Trump supporters, including Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green, and the My Pillow founder, Mike Lindell. One person noticeably absent last night was former First, Melania Trump.

Even the pillow salesman showed up for the speech. But his own wife didn't show up. And the speech was at the house. Melania didn't even come downstairs. She just, she opened up the bedroom door. Oh, you're back from prison already. Oh. Now look, we're making jokes. We're making jokes. But there's nothing funny about a former first lady not showing up to her husband's speech where he's complaining about getting arrested

for lying about paying off a porn stock. Frankly, I'm concerned about Melania's whereabout. So we launched a search for, and that search is being headed by our very own Dulce, Sloan Dulce! Dulce? Dulce? Now, Dulce, you're in Florida, Dulce. Hello, poor people. Yes, we are, we are very poor, Dulce. Hello, poor people. Yes, we are very poor, Doolso.

I mean, what did? You down there on the coast. Are there any signs of Melania down there? Oh, not yet. You know, I've been looking for her at the beach all day. And after this I'm going to look for her at brunch, and then I might go look for her at the front row of a magic mic show. You know, I'm vigil and see out here. Yeah.

Ain't the magic mic show in Las Vegas? I think you're taking advantage of the corporate expense account. We'll talk about that later. But first, let's just, while I got you, let's just talk about this whole thing. Don't you think that Melania should leave Donald Trump? I mean the man was paying hush money to porn stars. Roy, Roy, Roy. You don't understand, son. The hush money was for Melania. She's the reason he didn't want people to know about Stormy Daniels. Shit if he't married, his campaign slogan would have been, a p-f-polling star! Okay.

Okay. Before, before Melania, he paid a porn star $130,000. Oh, to know a love like that, oh. He paid a porn star. $130,000. Oh, to know a love like that. Oh. Okay.

You know, I mean, it's kind of romantic for a man to just break brand like that for you. Okay, I got you. So then, so then you think Melania should stay with Donald? No. He cheated on her with a porn star, come on. I've dumped men for a lot less. I broke up with a guy last week because he left me a voicemail. A voicemail, sir, what year do you think this is?

Just leave a comment on my Tick-Tock like an adult, grandpa. Okay, so I see what you're saying. So then you think Melania should have dumped Trump back in 2016? God, you then you think Milania should have dumped Trump back in 2016. Oh, hell no. Listen, Uncle Roy, are you listening? Why would she dump him when he just got elected El Presidente? You cheat on me? You think I'm gonna let some porn star be the first lady?

What the hell now? Nah, bitch, I'm getting a portrait, okay? A real one with paint and shit, okay? Okay? Okay. Okay. I'm talking about a canvas, a easel, and we're gonna sit there for seven hours and look happy, damn it.

Okay, going every which you're doing, what the hell should Milani do that? She should be doing what she's doing. Take advantage of Trump when he's president, and when he's not, let his ass twisting the wind while you at home watching Martin reruns and banging these pool boards. Wait, so you know what she is. Well, then why are you running up an expense account on my week? I mean, she's doing it at Marlago right now. Wait, so you know what she is.

Well, then why are you running up an expense account on my week? What you, what? This is my week hosting, then you're running up the bill with all this travel. Come on. Wow, this is how you treat a black woman? That's not a half a minute. Black women's history month? No, no, no, no, no, no, that. That. That, no, no, no, that, that, that, that, no, that, no, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's. That's. That's that's. that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, that's. What, that, th. th. that, that, th. that, th. th. th. th. th. thi. that. that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. April? No, no, that's not a half minute. Last women's history month? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, let me. No, I should be out here with a tale far back and a, and got to do with you. I ain't got to do nothing to see. Where my jet ski? Dose Sloan, everybody. My guest tonight is one of the original kings of comedy. He's also the star and executive producer of the hit CBS series, The Neighborhood, which will soon celebrate its 100th episode. Please welcome Cedric the hoo. Now, before we talk about it, O'Gee.

Let me just, no. Now, before we talk about anything, O'Gee, let me just ask a serious question off the rep, man. What is your annual budget on hats? The hat budget is, you know, it's first, whatever it is, and then I take care of the kids school and all that's going. Just like, every time I see the hat, I never see a hat, repeat itself, it's just hats, just a bunch of hats. Does your wife have any room for her shoes?

That's, that's the constant battle. By hats against her shoes. I've lost. I definitely lose in their their their their their their their their their their their their their the constant battle. Brian had to get her shoes. I've lost. I definitely lose in that battle for sure. Now, I had the honor of doing, you know, morning radio in Birmingham for almost 15 years. And a lot of comedians, a lot of OGs came through when I was young in the game. It's something that I peeped about you all. Y' all always came in town when you early and go to the black mall, parlay with the people. Do your shows, then on Saturday, when you can sleep in a hotel, go to the black barbershops,

parlay with the people. You're one of the most universally loved people in entertainment. It goes you, Sinbad and Hamburgers. And I mean that seriously, what could politicians learn from comedians on just getting love from people and just interacting with folks? I mean, you know, really you can't do it just at the time of that you're running for office or whatever. I mean, the idea is just actually, you know, making contact with people, looking people in the eye, feeling that vibe, you know, understanding who they are.

You know, you see people out there, Green New York, this is, I got this from Jay-Z. I see you Green New York hat. Yeah, what's up? What's up? Red Clout? You just play throw out. You let them know, you see. You know, I'm late-cloub.

You know, I'm late clap over there. And then they go, wow, I'm a vote for sale for me. Because he's on my hat. So the neighborhood, congratulations on 100 episodes. Yeah, thank you. First and foremost. And you're directing the 100th episode of this television program. And the neighborhood, I've always been a fan of it because it's a show that positions itself within the issue of gentrification and not addressing the bigger issue, but just what it means to be a black person in a black neighborhood and have white person come in and you figuring out how to keep your culture while also learning about someone else's. In the writer's room, how are you all able to tow that line on that issue and make it so palpable for everybody. That was always the thing with the show. I mean, you know, it was interesting because when the show first came to me, it was here

comes the neighborhood. And I was like, oh, wait a minute. So, wait a minute. That's a whole other attitude right there. I'm like, I'm already there. The neighborhood already exists, right? So, you know, it was one of these things things things things things things things things things things tha tha tha tha tha the things the the the the the things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things the things thingsto tell the story of like how you feel when when things come you do want growth in your neighborhood you do want a Starbucks and Whole Foods but you don't want to do that without losing the culture you know I'm saying so

you know and that's the really how we tell the story we got great actors Max Greenfield plays Dave is just you know legendary funny man killing it to sheena Arnold to Tashina Arnold, Beth Bears, Marcell Spiz, we kill it man, and Sean. So, now, talk about directing. What was that like? Because the episode premieres next week, but what was that like, what was that like to sit behind that camera and go, you do this, and then go get me a water motha. That was it. That was it. That's what I said, you know, that was, that was it, that was it, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. And, thi. We's, ta. We's, ta. We's, ta. We's, thi. We's, thi, thi, thi, was like, you know, you know, the director, you know, you actually, oh, you get

to paint the picture. That's what I say. You know, you're the one that's kind of literally, literally putting all the colors on the canvas and just, and so, you know, you get to, you get to, you know, you get it was that kind of thing where I got great actors. You really just give them the best place to deliver and get off. And that's what I really learned as a director for the most part. I've been doing, I've directed a couple of episodes of the neighborhood and then the soul man that I used to have my other show with Neese. And so, you know, that's the idea.

That's the idea really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that place where a comic can get off or actor and just like show them, you know, show them where they need to be for it to happen. Well I can't thank you enough for what you've done for not just the culture of entertainment but also just the culture of stand-up comedy and it's not something that you tou too your horn about it's not something that you talk about a lot publicly but I want to give you flowers today toJ, because people try to measure stand-up comedians on the worth of, well, who had the best special or who had the best jokes, but behind the scenes at this same show,

the neighborhood, you have staffed and employed so many people, black, white, women, just so many people, and there's so many comedians. You know, it's one thing to be someone in this industry and create a great comedy special, but I measure the worth of a comedian by how many homeowners does he create within his team. And it's a bunch of them over there. Thank you so much. Said the Entertainer everybody. Yeah. So. The 100th episode of the neighborhood is April 10th on CBS and Paramount Plus. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

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